The Guest-House

This being human is a guest-house Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing

and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes,

because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

~Rumi, Say I Am You: Poems of Rumi,

Translation by John Moyne and Coleman Barks. Maypop, 1994.

Attitudinal Foundations of

Mindfulness

Don’t Know Mind

(Beginner’s Mind)

? Don’t believe everything you think!

DON’T-KNOW MIND (BEGINNER’S MIND)

Connect all 9 dots with 4 straight lines, not lifting the pen, not retracing

Practicing Non-Linear Thinking

Uncovering, if possible,

unconscious or hidden assumptions.

Increasing awareness of the ever-changing nature of life and all things.

BOTH/AND —vs— EITHER/OR

We often say or hear others saying “everything happens for the best (or for a reason”). We feel better when we say this though the difficult occurrence has not changed.

This can be thought of as an “either/or” approach. Something is either good, or it’s bad. Very few things in life are actually 100% good or bad…

The mindful practice of “DON’T-KNOW” allows us to experience “both/and” thinking – this can be helpful and stress-reducing in situations of both good and ill-fortune.

Please calligraph the sentence, Are you sure? on a piece of paper and tape it to your wall.

Love (lovingkindness) meditation helps us to learn to look with clarity and

serenity in order to improve the way we perceive.

…the person who suffers most in this world is the person with many wrong perceptions.... And most of our perceptions are erroneous. We see a snake in the dark and we panic, but when our friend shines a light on it, we see that it is

only a rope. We have to know which wrong perceptions cause us to suffer. Thich Nhat Hanh

Am I Sure? Are You Sure?

DON’T KNOW MIND By Jack Kornfield Use this practice to bring wisdom to a situation of inner or outer conflict. Initially begin while sitting in meditation. Later you can

practice in social situations.

Sit quietly and easily. Focus on your breath or body. When you feel settled, bring to mind a time ten years ahead. Recognize that you don’t know what will happen then. Feel the not knowing and relax with it. Think of the earth spinning through space with hundreds of thousands of people being born and dying every day. Where does each life come from? How did it start? What changes are ahead for us? There are so many things we don’t know. Feel the truth of don’t-know mind, relax, and become comfortable with it.

Now, bring to mind a conflict, inner or outer. Be aware of all the thoughts and opinions you have about how things should be, about how other people should be. Now recognize that you don’t really know. Maybe the wrong thing will lead to something better. You don’t know.

Consider how it would be to approach yourself, the situation, the other people with don’t-know-mind. Don’t know. Not sure. No fixed opinion. Allow yourself to want to understand anew. Approach it with don’t-know mind, with openness.

How does resting in don’t-know mind affect the situation? Does it improve it, make it wiser, easier? More relaxed?

Practice don’t-know mind until you are comfortable resting in uncertainty, until you can do your best and laugh and say, “Don’t know.”

Kornfield, J. (2008). The wise heart: A guide to the universal teachings … New York: Bantam. p. 381.

A “DON’T-KNOW MIND” PRACTICE

For unpleasant, negative, or strong emotions

I . State (identify and name) the feeling: e.g. “I am worried/afraid that_____________________ “

I I . Restate it as a belief:

“I believe that ___________________ .” II I . Say to yourself (reminding yourself): “Don’t know” “I don’t know what I don’t know* … I can’t know, for e.g. what else may occur that could ease the problem in another way I cannot think of right now…”

*The purpose of this “don’t know” is not to reassure, or argue with the worry or fear (or whatever emotion you’re working with) – it’s

simply to remind yourself that all things change, nothing is as certain or as uncertain as we may believe it is….to release the grip of the “emotional belief” that the worst will happen…. No matter how we might be able to rationally tell ourselves that the worst may not happen, within many uncertainties lives a certainty, a negative

belief that the worst or most negative thing is true – a kind of cognitive distortion generator –

which can be relieved with “don’t-know mind” practice.

Many years ago when I was a young … student living at Green Gulch Farm in California, a problem arose among the residents: a sliding wooden door at the entrance of the student living area was regularly being left open. As a result, cold Pacific Ocean winds would sweep in and chill our shared living space. Announcements were made at least a half dozen times at community work meetings reminding people to keep this door shut. But it was continually found open, and over time this became a remarkably divisive issue. People grew emotional, blaming and pointing fingers. In the midst of one tense meeting, Sierra, the farm’s pet golden retriever, opened the door from the outside and joined the group. Of course, Sierra didn’t close the door behind her. Everyone laughed. No one knew that Sierra had the dexterity to open a sliding wooden door. The group’s false assumptions had nearly led to an all-out battle. Marc Lesser, from "Assumptions," in the Fall 2009 issue of Tricycle