The Good Wife’s guide:

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc. And then run a dust cloth over the tables.

Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.

Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as a minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity.

Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

A GOOD WIFE ALWAYS KNOWS HER PLACE!

(Housekeeping Monthly, 13 May 1955)

Mosiah 3:19D&C 20:20

Helaman 12:1-4Matthew 5:22

D&C 121:34-46Moses 4:1

Overcoming the Natural Man!

Brigham Young seemed to take quite a different view of who and what the natural man is:

It is fully proved in all the revelations that God has ever given to mankind that they naturally love and admire righteousness, justice and truth more than they do evil. It is, however, universally received by professors of religion as a scriptural doctrine that man is naturally opposed to God. This is not so, Paul says in his Epistle to the Corinthians. “But the natural man receiveth not the things of God,” but I say it is the unnatural “man that receiveth not the things of God.”…That which was, is, and will continue to endure is more natural than that which will pass away and be no more. The natural man is of God (JD 9:305).

President Spencer W. Kimball declared, the natural man --- the person who lives without this divine refinement --- “is the ‘earthy man’ who has allowed rude animal passions to overshadow his spiritual inclinations” (112).

Are we not wiser to understand our fallen nature and then, with equal attention, to be taught about how we can be lifted up? Indeed, for one to ask “Where do we go from here?” He must know where “here” is (Neal A. Maxwell).

Mosiah 3:19

In the language of President Ezra Taft Benson:

The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ take the slums out of people, and then they take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature (Born of God, 6).

Amish Motto for Joy

1. Jesus First2. Others are Second3. You are last

“It requires all the Atonement of Christ,” Brigham Young noted, “the mercy of the Father, the pity of angels and the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ to be with us always, and then to do the very best we possibly can, to get rid of this sin within us, so that we may escape from this world into the celestial kingdom” (JD 11:39).

The Golden RuleHurt not others in ways

that you yourself would find hurtful (Buddhism).

What is hateful to you, do not to your fellow man. That is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary (Judaism).

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you (Christianity).

No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself (Islam).

Blessed is he who preferreth his brother before himself (Baha’i Faith).

The Consequences of Disobedience: the Blessings of Obedience:

Deny faith, lose spirit, fear

UnhappinessNo confidence in God’s

presenceNo power over temptationLoss of gospel

understanding

Guilt and ShameCarnal, sensual, devilishSneak, hide, lie, cheat

Full of faith and spirit; no fear

HappinessConfidence in God’s

presence

Power over temptationIncreased gospel

understandingClear conscienceDevelop higher Godly

traitsHonest, full of integrity

Disobedience. Obedience.

Relationships sours and love dies

Families break upBitterness, jealousy,

anger, hateChurch disciplineSexually transmitted

diseasesUnwed PregnancyAbortionDamnation

Love and unity strengthened

Families remain intactFull of love

Church opportunitiesDisease-freeChildren born in covenantNo abortionExaltation

Joseph Smith said:

“Happiness is the object and the design of our existence and will be the end thereof if we pursue the path that leads to it. And that path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God” (Teachings, 255).

President Benson Promised:

“When we obey the law of chastity and keep ourselves morally clean, we will experience the blessings of increased love and peace, greater trust and respect for our marital partners, deeper commitment to each other, and therefore, a deep and significant sense of joy and happiness.”

Men and Women of Christ

Men and Women of Christ “Natural” Men and Women

Meek and Humble Self-concerned, proud, seeking to be superior

Patient Hectic, hurried, pushy, manipulative, intolerant

Full of Love Demanding, dominating, harsh, condescending

Gentle Coarse, vindictiveEasily Entreated Unapproachable, rejecting,

unwilling to listen, stereotypes others

Long-suffering Impatient, disinterested, easily offended, curt

Submissive to God Resistant to the Spirit, Life’s Lessons, and instructive

feedback; unwilling to endure

Men and Women “Natural” men and of Christ and women

Temperate (self-restrained) Selfish, attention-seeker

Merciful Judgmental, unforgiving

Gracious Tactless, Ungenerous,easily irritated

Holy Worldly

(Source: Men and Women of Christ, 58-59)

“The natural man is intellectually proud… the natural man is rebellious and insists on walking in his own way. He is childish instead of childlike… The natural man also stubbornly seeks for happiness in iniquity… [and]… cannot receive the things of the Spirit but are shut out from the very light that could show them, if they were willing, how to put off the natural man… Therefore, only to the extent that we are willing to put off the natural man do we have any real hope at all of becoming saints. It is the putting off of the putting off that is our real problem, however” (Notwithstanding My Weakness, 71-74).

RATHER THAN YEILDING TO THE ENTICINGS OF THE SPIRIT, WHAT DOES THE NATURAL MAN YIELD TO?

(The enticing of the flesh)

Elder Melvin J. Ballard said:

“All the assaults that [Satan]… will make to capture us will be through the… lusts, appetites, the ambitions of the flesh” (“The Struggle for the Soul,” 178).

Brigham Young added:

“If the spirit yields to the body, the devil then has power to overcome both the body and the spirit of that man, and he loses both” (JD 2:255-56).

Erich Fromm, the famous psychologist, suggested that we must love ourselves before we can love others (The Art of Loving, 1956).

HOW WOULD THAT BELIEF EFFECT OUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS?

If Fromm is right, then it would seem that the key to successful relationships is to focus on yourself, build yourself, take care of yourself, love yourself, and develop yourself first. Only then will you be able to reach out and love others. Fromm’s theory suggest that the self is most important, the center of the universe. Everything else revolves around the self.

COULD THAT PHILOSOPHY BE AN EXAMPLE OF “AN INORDINATE AND EXCESSIVE CONCERN WITH SELF?”

Elder Neal Maxwell suggested that submissiveness is the catalyst that enables us to develop all other godly attributes (“Willing to Submit,” Ensign, May 1985, 71).

“The submission of one’s will,” he said, “is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God’s altar. The many other things we ‘give,’ brothers and sisters, are actually the things he has already given or loaned to us. However, when you and I finally submit ourselves, by letting our individual wills be swallowed up in God’s will, then we are really giving something to Him! It is the only possession which is truly ours to give!” (“Swallowed Up in the Will of the Father,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 24).