TheGiver

LoisLowry

Forallthechildren

Towhomweentrustthefuture

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1

ItwasalmostDecember,andJonaswasbeginningtobefrightened.No.Wrongword,Jonasthought.Frightenedmeantthatdeep,sickeningfeelingofsomethingterribleabouttohappen.Frightenedwasthewayhehadfeltayearagowhenanunidentifiedaircrafthadoverflownthecommunitytwice.Hehadseenitbothtimes.Squintingtowardthesky,hehadseenthesleekjet,almostabluratitshighspeed,gopast,andasecondlaterheardtheblastofsoundthatfollowed.Thenonemoretime,amomentlater,fromtheoppositedirection,thesameplane.

Atfirst,hehadbeenonlyfascinated.Hehadneverseenaircraftsoclose,foritwasagainsttherulesforPilotstoflyoverthecommunity.Occasionally,whensupplieswerede-liveredbycargoplanestothelandingfieldacrosstheriver,thechildrenrodetheirbicyclestotheriverbankandwatched,intrigued,theunloadingandthenthetakeoffdirectedtothewest,alwaysawayfromthecommunity.

Buttheaircraftayearagohadbeendifferent.Itwasnotasquat,fat-belliedcargoplanebutaneedle-nosedsingle-pilotjet.Jonas,lookingaroundanxiously,hadseenothers—adultsaswellaschildren—stopwhattheyweredoingandwait,confused,foranexplanationofthefrighteningevent.

Thenallofthecitizenshadbeenorderedtogointothenearestbuildingandstaythere.IMMEDIATELY,theraspingvoicethroughthespeakershadsaid.LEAVEYOURBICY-CLESWHERETHEYARE.

Instantly,obediently,Jonashaddroppedhisbikeonitssideonthepathbehindhisfamily’sdwelling.Hehadrunindoorsandstayedthere,alone.Hisparentswerebothatwork,andhislittlesister,Lily,wasattheChildcareCenterwhereshespentherafter-schoolhours.

Lookingthroughthefrontwindow,hehadseennopeople:noneofthebusyafternooncrewofStreetCleaners,LandscapeWorkers,andFoodDeliverypeoplewhousuallypopulatedthecommunityatthattimeofday.Hesawonlytheabandonedbikeshereandthereontheirsides;anupturnedwheelononewasstillrevolvingslowly.

Hehadbeenfrightenedthen.Thesenseofhisowncommunitysilent,waiting,hadmadehisstomachchurn.Hehadtrembled.

Butithadbeennothing.Withinminutesthespeakershadcrackledagain,andthevoice,reassuringnowandlessurgent,hadexplainedthataPilot-in-Traininghadmisreadhisnavigationalinstructionsandmadeawrongturn.DesperatelythePilothadbeentryingtomakehiswaybackbeforehiserrorwasnoticed.

NEEDLESSTOSAY,HEWILLBERELEASED,thevoice

hadsaid,followedbysilence.Therewasanironictonetothatfinalmessage,asiftheSpeakerfounditamusing;andJonashadsmiledalittle,thoughheknewwhatagrimstatementithadbeen.Foracontributingcitizentobere-leasedfromthecommunitywasafinaldecision,aterriblepunishment,anoverwhelmingstatementoffailure.

Eventhechildrenwerescoldediftheyusedthetermlightlyatplay,jeeringatateammatewhomissedacatchorstumbledinarace.Jonashaddoneitonce,hadshoutedathisbestfriend,“That’sit,Asher!You’rereleased!”whenAsher’sclumsyerrorhadlostamatchforhisteam.Hehadbeentakenasideforabriefandserioustalkbythecoach,hadhunghisheadwithguiltandembarrassment,andapologizedtoAsherafterthegame.

Now,thinkingaboutthefeelingoffearashepedaledhomealongtheriverpath,herememberedthatmomentofpalpable,stomach-sinkingterrorwhentheaircrafthadstreakedabove.Itwasnotwhathewas

feelingnowwithDecemberapproaching.Hesearchedfortherightwordtodescribehisownfeeling.

Jonaswascarefulaboutlanguage.Notlikehisfriend,Asher,whotalkedtoofastandmixedthingsup,scramblingwordsandphrasesuntiltheywerebarelyrecognizableandoftenveryfunny.

Jonasgrinned,rememberingthemorningthatAsherhaddashedintotheclassroom,lateasusual,arrivingbreathlesslyinthemiddleofthechantingofthemorninganthem.Whentheclasstooktheirseatsattheconclusionofthepatriotichymn,Asherremainedstandingtomakehispublicapologyaswasrequired.

“Iapologizeforinconveniencingmylearningcommunity.”Asherranthroughthestandardapologyphraserap-idly,stillcatchinghisbreath.TheInstructorandclasswaitedpatientlyforhisexplanation.Thestudentshadallbeengrinning,becausetheyhadlistenedtoAsher’sexplanationssomanytimesbefore.

“IlefthomeatthecorrecttimebutwhenIwasridingalongnearthehatchery,thecrewwasseparatingsomesalmon.IguessIjustgotdistraught,watchingthem.

“Iapologizetomyclassmates,”Asherconcluded.Hesmoothedhisrumpledtunicandsatdown.

“Weacceptyourapology,Asher.”Theclassrecitedthestandardresponseinunison.Manyofthestudentswerebitingtheirlipstokeepfromlaughing.

“Iacceptyourapology,Asher,”theInstructorsaid.Hewassmiling.“AndIthankyou,becauseonceagainyouhaveprovidedanopportunityforalessoninlanguage.‘Distraught’istoostronganadjectivetodescribesalmon-viewing.”Heturnedandwrote“distraught”onthe

instructionalboard.Besideithewrote“distracted.”

Jonas,nearinghishomenow,smiledattherecollection.Thinking,still,ashewheeledhisbikeintoitsnarrowportbesidethedoor,herealizedthatfrightenedwasthewrongwordtodescribehisfeelings,nowthatDecemberwasal-mosthere.Itwastoostronganadjective.

HehadwaitedalongtimeforthisspecialDecember.Nowthatitwasalmostuponhim,hewasn’tfrightened,buthewas...eager,hedecided.Hewaseagerforittocome.Andhewasexcited,certainly.AlloftheElevenswereexcitedabouttheeventthatwouldbecomingsosoon.

Buttherewasalittleshudderofnervousnesswhenhe

thoughtaboutit,aboutwhatmighthappen.

Apprehensive,Jonasdecided.That’swhatIam.

“Whowantstobethefirsttonight,forfeelings?”Jonas’sfatherasked,attheconclusionoftheireveningmeal.

Itwasoneoftherituals,theeveningtellingoffeelings.

SometimesJonasandhissister,Lily,arguedoverturns,overwhowouldgettogofirst.Theirparents,ofcourse,werepartoftheritual;they,too,toldtheirfeelingseachevening.Butlikeallparents—alladults—theydidn’tfightandwheedlefortheirturn.

NordidJonas,tonight.Hisfeelingsweretoocomplicatedthisevening.Hewantedtosharethem,buthewasn’teagertobegintheprocessofsiftingthroughhisowncomplicatedemotions,evenwiththehelpthatheknewhisparentscouldgive.

“Yougo,Lily,”hesaid,seeinghissister,whowasmuchyounger—onlyaSeven—wigglingwithimpatienceinherchair.

“Ifeltveryangrythisafternoon,”Lilyannounced.“MyChildcaregroupwasattheplayarea,andwehadavisitinggroupofSevens,andtheydidn’tobeytherulesatall.Oneofthem—amale;Idon’tknowhisname—keptgoingrighttothefrontofthelinefortheslide,eventhoughtherestofuswereallwaiting.Ifeltsoangryathim.Imademyhandintoafist,likethis.”Sheheldupaclenchedfistandtherestofthefamilysmiledathersmalldefiantgesture.

“Whydoyouthinkthevisitorsdidn’tobeytherules?”Motherasked.

Lilyconsidered,andshookherhead.“Idon’tknow.Theyactedlike...like...”

“Animals?”Jonassuggested.Helaughed.

“That’sright,”Lilysaid,laughingtoo.“Likeanimals.”Neitherchildknewwhatthewordmeant,exactly,butitwasoftenusedtodescribesomeoneuneducatedorclumsy,someonewhodidn’tfitin.

“Wherewerethevisitorsfrom?”Fatherasked.

Lilyfrowned,tryingtoremember.“Ourleadertoldus,whenhemadethewelcomespeech,butIcan’tremember.IguessIwasn’tpayingattention.Itwasfromanothercommunity.Theyhadtoleaveveryearly,andtheyhadtheirmiddaymealonthebus.”

Mothernodded.“Doyouthinkit’spossiblethattheirrulesmaybedifferent?Andsotheysimplydidn’tknowwhatyourplayarearuleswere?”

Lilyshrugged,andnodded.“Isuppose.”

“You’vevisitedothercommunities,haven’tyou?”Jonasasked.“Mygrouphas,often.”

Lilynoddedagain.“WhenwewereSixes,wewentandsharedawholeschooldaywithagroupofSixesintheircommunity.”

“Howdidyoufeelwhenyouwerethere?”

Lilyfrowned.“Ifeltstrange.Becausetheirmethodsweredifferent.Theywerelearningusagesthatmygrouphadn’tlearnedyet,sowefeltstupid.”

Fatherwaslisteningwithinterest.“I’mthinking,Lily,”hesaid,“abouttheboywhodidn’tobeytherulestoday.Doyouthinkit’spossiblethathefeltstrangeandstupid,beinginanewplacewithrulesthathedidn’tknowabout?”

Lilyponderedthat.“Yes,”shesaid,finally.

“Ifeelalittlesorryforhim,”Jonassaid,“eventhoughIdon’tevenknowhim.Ifeelsorryforanyonewhoisinaplacewherehefeelsstrangeandstupid.”

“Howdoyoufeelnow,Lily?”Fatherasked.“Stillangry?”

“Iguessnot,”Lilydecided.“IguessIfeelalittlesorryforhim.AndsorryImadeafist.”Shegrinned.

Jonassmiledbackathissister.Lily’sfeelingswerealwaysstraightforward,fairlysimple,usuallyeasytore-solve.Heguessedthathisownhadbeen,too,whenhewasaSeven.

Helistenedpolitely,thoughnotveryattentively,whilehisfathertookhisturn,describingafeelingofworrythathe’dhadthatdayatwork:aconcernaboutoneofthenewchildrenwhowasn’tdoingwell.Jonas’sfather’stitlewasNurturer.HeandtheotherNurturerswereresponsibleforallthephysicalandemotionalneedsofeverynew-childduringitsearliestlife.Itwasaveryimportantjob,Jonasknew,butitwasn’tone

thatinterestedhimmuch.

“Whatgenderisit?”Lilyasked.

“Male,”Fathersaid.“He’sasweetlittlemalewithalovelydisposition.Butheisn’tgrowingasfastasheshould,andhedoesn’tsleepsoundly.Wehavehimintheextracaresectionforsupplementarynurturing,butthecommittee’sbeginningtotalkaboutreleasinghim.”

“Oh,no,”Mothermurmuredsympathetically.“Iknowhowsadthatmustmakeyoufeel.”

JonasandLilybothnoddedsympatheticallyaswell.Releaseofnewchildrenwasalwayssad,becausetheyhadn’thadachancetoenjoylifewithinthecommunityyet.Andtheyhadn’tdoneanythingwrong.

Therewereonlytwooccasionsofreleasewhichwerenotpunishment.Releaseoftheelderly,whichwasatimeofcelebrationforalifewellandfullylived;andreleaseofanewchild,whichalwaysbroughtasenseofwhat-could-we-have-done.ThiswasespeciallytroublingfortheNurturers,likeFather,whofelttheyhadfailedsomehow.Butithappenedveryrarely.

“Well,”Fathersaid,“I’mgoingtokeeptrying.Imay

askthecommitteeforpermissiontobringhimhereatnight,ifyoudon’tmind.Youknowwhatthenight-crewNurturersarelike.Ithinkthislittleguyneedssomethingextra.”

“Ofcourse,”Mothersaid,andJonasandLilynodded.TheyhadheardFathercomplainaboutthenightcrewbe-fore.Itwasalesserjob,night-crewnurturing,assignedtothosewholackedtheinterestorskillsorinsightforthemorevitaljobsofthedaytimehours.Mostofthepeopleonthenightcrewhadnotevenbeengivenspousesbecausetheylacked,somehow,theessentialcapacitytoconnecttoothers,whichwasrequired

forthecreationofafamilyunit.

“Maybewecouldevenkeephim,”Lilysuggestedsweetly,tryingtolookinnocent.Thelookwasfake,Jonasknew;theyallknew.

“Lily,”Motherremindedher,smiling,“youknowtherules.”

Twochildren—onemale,onefemale—toeachfamilyunit.Itwaswrittenveryclearlyintherules.

Lilygiggled.“Well,”shesaid,“Ithoughtmaybejustthisonce.”

Next,Mother,whoheldaprominentpositionattheDepartmentofJustice,talkedaboutherfeelings.Todayare-peatoffenderhadbeenbroughtbeforeher,someonewhohadbrokentherulesbefore.Someonewhoshehopedhadbeenadequatelyandfairlypunished,andwhohadbeenrestoredtohisplace:tohisjob,hishome,hisfamilyunit.Toseehimbroughtbeforeherasecondtimecausedheroverwhelmingfeelingsoffrustrationandanger.Andevenguilt,thatshehadn’tmadeadifferenceinhislife.

“Ifeelfrightened,too,forhim,”sheconfessed.“Youknowthatthere’snothirdchance.Therulessaythatifthere’sathirdtransgression,hesimplyhastobereleased.”Jonasshivered.Heknewithappened.TherewasevenaboyinhisgroupofElevenswhosefatherhadbeenreleasedyearsbefore.Nooneevermentionedit;thedisgracewasunspeakable.Itwashardtoimagine.

Lilystoodupandwenttohermother.Shestrokedhermother’sarm.

Fromhisplaceatthetable,Fatherreachedoverandtookherhand.Jonasreachedfortheother.

Onebyone,theycomfortedher.Soonshesmiled,thankedthem,andmurmuredthatshefeltsoothed.

Theritualcontinued.“Jonas?”Fatherasked.“You’relast,tonight.”

Jonassighed.Thiseveninghealmostwouldhavepreferredtokeephisfeelingshidden.Butitwas,ofcourse,againsttherules.

“I’mfeelingapprehensive,”heconfessed,gladthattheappropriatedescriptivewordhadfinallycometohim.

“Whyisthat,son?”Hisfatherlookedconcerned.

“Iknowthere’sreallynothingtoworryabout,”Jonasexplained,“andthateveryadulthasbeenthroughit.Iknowyouhave,Father,andyoutoo,Mother.Butit’stheCeremonythatI’mapprehensiveabout.It’salmostDecember.”

Lilylookedup,hereyeswide.“TheCeremonyofTwelve,”shewhisperedinanawedvoice.Eventhesmallestchildren—Lily’sageandyounger—knewthatitlayinthefutureforeachofthem.

“I’mgladyoutoldusofyourfeelings,”Fathersaid.

“Lily,”Mothersaid,beckoningtothelittlegirl,“Goonnowandgetintoyournightclothes.FatherandIaregoingtostayhereandtalktoJonasforawhile.”

Lilysighed,butobedientlyshegotdownfromherchair.“Privately?”sheasked.

Mothernodded.“Yes,”shesaid,“thistalkwillbeaprivateonewithJonas.”

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Jonaswatchedashisfatherpouredafreshcupofcoffee.Hewaited.

“Youknow,”hisfatherfinallysaid,“everyDecemberwasexcitingtomewhenIwasyoung.AndithasbeenforyouandLily,too,I’msure.EachDecemberbringssuchchanges.”

Jonasnodded.HecouldremembertheDecembersbacktowhenhehadbecome,well,probablyaFour.Theearlieroneswerelosttohim.Butheobservedthemeachyear,andherememberedLily’searliestDecembers.HerememberedwhenhisfamilyreceivedLily,thedayshewasnamed,thedaythatshehadbecomeaOne.

TheCeremonyfortheOneswasalwaysnoisyandfun.EachDecember,allthenewchildrenborninthepreviousyearturnedOne.Oneatatime—therewerealwaysfiftyineachyear’sgroup,ifnonehadbeenreleased—theyhadbeenbroughttothestagebytheNurturerswhohadcaredforthemsincebirth.Somewerealreadywalking,wobblyontheirunsteadylegs;otherswerenomorethanafewdaysold,wrappedinblankets,heldbytheirNurturers.

“IenjoytheNaming,”Jonassaid.

Hismotheragreed,smiling.“TheyearwegotLily,weknew,ofcourse,thatwe’dreceiveourfemale,becausewe’dmadeourapplicationandbeenapproved.ButI’dbeenwonderingandwonderingwhathernamewouldbe.

“Icouldhavesneakedalookatthelistpriortotheceremony,”Fatherconfided.“Thecommitteealwaysmakesthelistinadvance,andit’srightthereintheofficeattheNurturingCenter.

“Asamatteroffact,”hewenton,“Ifeelalittleguiltyaboutthis.ButIdidgointhisafternoonandlookedtoseeifthisyear’sNaminglisthadbeenmadeyet.Itwasrightthereintheoffice,andIlookedupnumberThirty-six—that’sthelittleguyI’vebeenconcernedabout—becauseitoccurredtomethatitmightenhancehisnurturingifIcouldcallhimbya

name.Justprivately,ofcourse,whennooneelseisaround.”

“Didyoufindit?”Jonasasked.Hewasfascinated.Itdidn’tseematerriblyimportantrule,butthefactthathisfatherhadbrokenaruleatallawedhim.Heglancedathismother,theoneresponsibleforadherencetotherules,andwasrelievedthatshewassmiling.

Hisfathernodded.“Hisname—ifhemakesittotheNamingwithoutbeingreleased,ofcourse—istobeGabriel.SoIwhisperthattohimwhenIfeedhimeveryfourhours,andduringexerciseandplaytime.Ifnoonecanhearme.

“IcallhimGabe,actually,”hesaid,andgrinned.

“Gabe.”Jonastrieditout.Agoodname,hedecided.

ThoughJonashadonlybecomeaFivetheyearthattheyacquiredLilyandlearnedhername,herememberedtheexcitement,theconversationsathome,wonderingabouther:howshewouldlook,whoshewouldbe,howshewouldfitintotheirestablishedfamilyunit.Here-memberedclimbingthestepstothestagewithhisparents,hisfatherbyhissidethatyearinsteadofwiththeNurturers,sinceitwastheyearthathewouldbegivenanew-childofhisown.

Herememberedhismothertakingthenewchild,hissister,intoherarms,whilethedocumentwasreadtotheassembledfamilyunits.“NewchildTwenty-three,”theNamerhadread.“Lily.”

Herememberedhisfather’slookofdelight,andthathisfatherhadwhispered,“She’soneofmyfavorites.Iwashopingforhertobetheone.”Thecrowdhadclapped,andJonashadgrinned.Helikedhissister’sname.Lily,barelyawake,hadwavedhersmallfist.Thentheyhadsteppeddowntomakeroomforthenextfamilyunit.

“WhenIwasanEleven,”hisfathersaidnow,“asyouare,Jonas,Iwas

veryimpatient,waitingfortheCeremonyofTwelve.It’salongtwodays.IrememberthatIenjoyedtheOnes,asIalwaysdo,butthatIdidn’tpaymuchattentiontotheotherceremonies,exceptformysister’s.ShebecameaNinethatyear,andgotherbicycle.I’dbeenteachinghertoridemine,eventhoughtechnicallyIwasn’tsupposedto.”

Jonaslaughed.Itwasoneofthefewrulesthatwasnottakenveryseriouslyandwasalmostalwaysbroken.ThechildrenallreceivedtheirbicyclesatNine;theywerenotallowedtoridebicyclesbeforethen.Butalmostalways,theolderbrothersandsistershadsecretlytaughttheyoungerones.JonashadbeenthinkingalreadyaboutteachingLily.

Therewastalkaboutchangingtheruleandgivingthebicyclesatanearlierage.Acommitteewasstudyingtheidea.Whensomethingwenttoacommitteeforstudy,thepeoplealwaysjokedaboutit.TheysaidthatthecommitteememberswouldbecomeEldersbythetimetherulechangewasmade.

Ruleswereveryhardtochange.Sometimes,ifitwasaveryimportantrule—unliketheonegoverningtheageforbicycles—itwouldhavetogo,eventually,toTheRe-ceiverforadecision.TheReceiverwasthemostimportantElder.Jonashadneverevenseenhim,thatheknewof;someoneinapositionofsuchimportancelivedandworkedalone.ButthecommitteewouldneverbotherTheReceiverwithaquestionaboutbicycles;theywouldsimplyfretandargueaboutitthemselvesforyears,untilthecitizensforgotthatithadevergonetothemforstudy.

Hisfathercontinued.“SoIwatchedandcheeredwhenmysister,Katya,becameaNineandremovedherhairribbonsandgotherbicycle,”Fatherwenton.“ThenIdidn’tpaymuchattentiontotheTensandElevens.Andfinally,attheendofthesecondday,whichseemedtogoonforever,itwasmyturn.ItwastheCeremonyofTwelve.”

Jonasshivered.Hepicturedhisfather,whomusthavebeenashyand

quietboy,forhewasashyandquietman,seatedwithhisgroup,waitingtobecalledtothestage.

TheCeremonyofTwelvewasthelastoftheCeremonies.

Themostimportant.

“Irememberhowproudmyparentslooked—andmysister,too;eventhoughshewantedtobeoutridingthebicyclepublicly,shestoppedfidgetingandwasverystillandattentivewhenmyturncame.

“Buttobehonest,Jonas,”hisfathersaid,“formetherewasnottheelementofsuspensethatthereiswithyourCeremony.BecauseIwasalreadyfairlycertainofwhatmyAssignmentwastobe.”

Jonaswassurprised.Therewasnoway,really,toknowinadvance.Itwasasecretselection,madebytheleadersofthecommunity,theCommitteeofElders,whotooktheresponsibilitysoseriouslythattherewereneverevenanyjokesmadeaboutAssignments.

Hismotherseemedsurprised,too.“Howcouldyouhaveknown?”sheasked.

Hisfathersmiledhisgentlesmile.“Well,itwascleartome—andmyparentslaterconfessedthatithadbeenobvioustothem,too—whatmyaptitudewas.Ihadalwayslovedthenewchildrenmorethananything.Whenmyfriendsinmyagegroupwereholdingbicycleraces,orbuildingtoyvehiclesorbridgeswiththeirconstructionsets,or—“

“AllthethingsIdowithmyfriends,”Jonaspointedout,andhismothernoddedinagreement.

“Ialwaysparticipated,ofcourse,becauseaschildrenwemustexperienceallofthosethings.AndIstudiedhardinschool,asyoudo,Jonas.Butagainandagain,duringfreetime,Ifoundmyselfdrawntothe

newchildren.Ispental-mostallofmyvolunteerhourshelpingintheNurturingCenter.OfcoursetheEldersknewthat,fromtheirobservation.”

Jonasnodded.Duringthepastyearhehadbeenawareoftheincreasinglevelofobservation.Inschool,atrecreationtime,andduringvolunteerhours,hehadnoticedtheElderswatchinghimandtheotherElevens.Hehadseenthemtakingnotes.Heknew,too,thattheEldersweremeetingforlonghourswithalloftheinstructorsthatheandtheotherElevenshadhadduringtheiryearsofschool.

“SoIexpectedit,andIwaspleased,butnotatallsurprised,whenmyAssignmentwasannouncedasNurturer,”Fatherexplained.

“Dideveryoneapplaud,eventhoughtheyweren’tsurprised?”Jonasasked.

“Oh,ofcourse.Theywerehappyforme,thatmyAssignmentwaswhatIwantedmost.Ifeltveryfortunate.”Hisfathersmiled.

“WereanyoftheElevensdisappointed,youryear?”Jonasasked.Unlikehisfather,hehadnoideawhathisAssignmentwouldbe.Butheknewthatsomewoulddisappointhim.Thoughherespectedhisfather’swork,Nurturerwouldnotbehiswish.Andhedidn’tenvyLaborersatall.

Hisfatherthought.“No,Idon’tthinkso.OfcoursetheEldersaresocarefulintheirobservationsandselections.”

“Ithinkit’sprobablythemostimportantjobinourcommunity,”hismothercommented.

“MyfriendYoshikowassurprisedbyherselectionasDoctor,”Fathersaid,“butshewasthrilled.Andlet’ssee,therewasAndrei—Irememberthatwhenwewereboysheneverwantedtodophysicalthings.Hespentalltherecreationtimehecouldwithhisconstructionset,andhis

volunteerhourswerealwaysonbuildingsites.TheEldersknewthat,ofcourse.AndreiwasgiventheAssignmentofEngineerandhewasdelighted.”

“Andreilaterdesignedthebridgethatcrossestherivertothewestoftown,”Jonas’smothersaid.“Itwasn’ttherewhenwewerechildren.”

“Thereareveryrarelydisappointments,Jonas.Idon’tthinkyouneedtoworryaboutthat,”hisfatherreassuredhim.“Andifthereare,youknowthere’sanappealprocess.”Buttheyalllaughedatthat—anappealwenttoacommitteeforstudy.

“IworryalittleaboutAsher’sAssignment,”Jonasconfessed.“Asher’ssuchfun.Buthedoesn’treallyhaveanyseriousinterests.Hemakesagameoutofeverything.”

Hisfatherchuckled.“Youknow,”hesaid,“Ire-memberwhenAsherwasanewchildattheNurturingCenter,beforehewasnamed.Henevercried.Hegiggledandlaughedateverything.AllofusonthestaffenjoyednurturingAsher.”

“TheEldersknowAsher,”hismothersaid.“They’llfindexactlytherightAssignmentforhim.Idon’tthinkyouneedtoworryabouthim.But,Jonas,letmewarnyouaboutsomethingthatmaynothaveoccurredtoyou.IknowIdidn’tthinkaboutituntilaftermyCeremonyofTwelve.”

“What’sthat?”

“Well,it’sthelastoftheCeremonies,asyouknow.AfterTwelve,ageisn’timportant.Mostofusevenlosetrackofhowoldweareastimepasses,thoughtheinformationisintheHallofOpenRecords,andwecouldgoandlookitupifwewantedto.What’simportantisthepreparationforadultlife,andthetrainingyou’llreceiveinyourAssignment.”

“Iknowthat,”Jonassaid.“Everyoneknowsthat.”

“Butitmeans,”hismotherwenton,“thatyou’llmoveintoanewgroup.Andeachofyourfriendswill.You’llnolongerbespendingyourtimewithyourgroupofElevens.AftertheCeremonyofTwelve,you’llbewithyourAssignmentgroup,withthoseintraining.Nomorevolunteerhours.Nomorerecreationhours.Soyourfriendswillnolongerbeasclose.”

Jonasshookhishead.“AsherandIwillalwaysbefriends,”hesaidfirmly.“Andtherewillstillbeschool.”

“That’strue,”hisfatheragreed.“Butwhatyourmothersaidistrueaswell.Therewillbechanges.”

“Goodchanges,though,”hismotherpointedout.“AftermyCeremonyofTwelve,Imissedmychildhoodrecreation.ButwhenIenteredmytrainingforLawandJustice,Ifoundmyselfwithpeoplewhosharedmyinterests.Imadefriendsonanewlevel,friendsofallages.”

“Didyoustillplayatall,afterTwelve?”Jonasasked.

“Occasionally,”hismotherreplied.“Butitdidn’tseemasimportanttome.”

“Idid,”hisfathersaid,laughing.“Istilldo.Everyday,attheNurturingCenter,Iplaybounce-on-the-knee,andpeek-a-boo,andhug-the-teddy.”HereachedoverandstrokedJonas’sneatlytrimmedhair.“Fundoesn’tendwhenyoubecomeTwelve.”

Lilyappeared,wearinghernightclothes,inthedoor-way.Shegaveanimpatientsigh.“Thisiscertainlyaverylongprivateconversation,”shesaid.“Andtherearecertainpeoplewaitingfortheircomfortobject.”

“Lily,”hermothersaidfondly,“you’reveryclosetobeinganEight,

andwhenyou’reanEight,yourcomfortobjectwillbetakenaway.Itwillberecycledtotheyoungerchildren.Youshouldbestartingtogoofftosleepwithoutit.”

Butherfatherhadalreadygonetotheshelfandtakendownthestuffedelephantwhichwaskeptthere.Manyofthecomfortobjects,likeLily’s,weresoft,stuffed,imaginarycreatures.Jonas’shadbeencalledabear.

“Hereyouare,Lily-billy,”hesaid.“I’llcomehelpyouremoveyourhairribbons.”

Jonasandhismotherrolledtheireyes,yettheywatchedaffectionatelyasLilyandherfatherheadedtohersleeping-roomwiththestuffedelephantthathadbeengiventoherashercomfortobjectwhenshewasborn.Hismothermovedtoherbigdeskandopenedherbriefcase;herworkneverseemedtoend,evenwhenshewasathomeintheevening.Jonaswenttohisowndeskandbegantosortthroughhisschoolpapersfortheevening’sassignment.ButhismindwasstillonDecemberandthecomingCeremony.

Thoughhehadbeenreassuredbythetalkwithhisparents,hehadn’ttheslightestideawhatAssignmenttheElderswouldbeselectingforhisfuture,orhowhemightfeelaboutitwhenthedaycame.

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“Oh,look!”Lilysquealedindelight.“Isn’thecute?Lookhowtinyheis!Andhehasfunnyeyeslikeyours,Jonas!”Jonasglaredather.Hedidn’tlikeitthatshehadmentionedhiseyes.HewaitedforhisfathertochastiseLily.ButFatherwasbusyunstrappingthecarryingbasketfromthebackofhisbicycle.Jonaswalkedovertolook.

ItwasthefirstthingJonasnoticedashelookedatthenewchildpeeringupcuriouslyfromthebasket.Thepaleeyes.

Almosteverycitizeninthecommunityhaddarkeyes.Hisparentsdid,andLilydid,andsodidallofhisgroupmembersandfriends.Buttherewereafewexceptions:Jonashimself,andafemaleFivewhohehadnoticedhadthedifferent,lightereyes.Noonementionedsuchthings;itwasnotarule,butwasconsideredrudetocallattentiontothingsthatwereunsettlingordifferentaboutindividuals.Lily,hedecided,wouldhavetolearnthatsoon,orshewouldbecalledinforchastisementbecauseofherin-sensitivechatter.

Fatherputhisbikeintoitsport.Thenhepickedupthebasketandcarrieditintothehouse.Lilyfollowedbehind,butsheglancedbackoverhershoulderatJonasandteased,“MaybehehadthesameBirthmotherasyou.”

Jonasshrugged.Hefollowedtheminside.Buthehadbeenstartledbythenewchild’seyes.Mirrorswererareinthecommunity;theyweren’tforbidden,buttherewasnorealneedofthem,andJonashadsimplyneverbotheredtolookathimselfveryoftenevenwhenhefoundhimselfinalocationwhereamirrorexisted.Now,seeingthenewchildanditsexpression,hewasremindedthatthelighteyeswerenotonlyararitybutgavetheonewhohadthemacertainlook—whatwasit?Depth,hedecided;asifonewerelookingintotheclearwateroftheriver,downtothebottom,wherethingsmightlurkwhichhadn’tbeendiscoveredyet.Hefeltself-conscious,realizingthathe,too,hadthatlook.

Hewenttohisdesk,pretendingnottobeinterestedinthenewchild.Ontheothersideoftheroom,MotherandLilywerebendingovertowatchasFatherunwrappeditsblanket.

“What’shiscomfortobjectcalled?”Lilyasked,pickingupthestuffedcreaturewhichhadbeenplacedbesidethenewchildinhisbasket.

Fatherglancedatit.“Hippo,”hesaid.

Lilygiggledatthestrangeword.“Hippo,”sherepeated,andputthecomfortobjectdownagain.Shepeeredattheunwrappednewchild,whowavedhisarms.

“Ithinknewchildrenaresocute,”Lilysighed.“IhopeIgetassignedtobeaBirthmother.”

“Lily!”Motherspokeverysharply.“Don’tsaythat.There’sverylittlehonorinthatAssignment.”

“ButIwastalkingtoNatasha.YouknowtheTenwholivesaroundthecorner?ShedoessomeofhervolunteerhoursattheBirthingCenter.AndshetoldmethattheBirthmothersgetwonderfulfood,andtheyhaveverygentleexerciseperiods,andmostofthetimetheyjustplaygamesandamusethemselveswhilethey’rewaiting.IthinkI’dlikethat,”Lilysaidpetulantly.

“Threeyears,”Mothertoldherfirmly.“Threebirths,andthat’sall.AfterthattheyareLaborersfortherestoftheiradultlives,untilthedaythattheyentertheHouseoftheOld.Isthatwhatyouwant,Lily?Threelazyyears,andthenhardphysicallaboruntilyouareold?”

“Well,no,Iguessnot,”Lilyacknowledgedreluctantly.

Fatherturnedthenewchildontohistummyinthebasket.Hesatbesideitandrubbeditssmallbackwitharhythmicmotion.“Anyway,Lily-billy,”hesaidaffectionately,“theBirthmothersneverevengettoseenewchildren.Ifyouenjoythelittleonessomuch,youshouldhopeforanAssignmentasNurturer.”

“Whenyou’reanEightandstartyourvolunteerhours,youcantrysomeattheNurturingCenter,”Mothersuggested.

“Yes,IthinkIwill,”Lilysaid.Shekneltbesidethebasket.“Whatdidyousayhisnameis?Gabriel?Hello,Gabriel,”shesaidinasingsong

voice.Thenshegiggled.“Ooops,”shewhispered.“Ithinkhe’sasleep.IguessI’dbetterbequiet.”

Jonasturnedtotheschoolassignmentsonhisdesk.Somechanceofthat,hethought.Lilywasneverquiet.ProbablysheshouldhopeforanAssignmentasSpeaker,sothatshecouldsitintheofficewiththemicrophoneallday,makingannouncements.Helaughedsilentlytohim-self,picturinghissisterdroningonintheself-importantvoicethatalltheSpeakersseemedtodevelop,sayingthingslike,ATTENTION.THISISAREMINDERTOFEMALESUNDERNINETHATHAIRRIBBONSARETOBENEATLYTIEDATALLTIMES.

HeturnedtowardLilyandnoticedtohissatisfactionthatherribbonswere,asusual,undoneanddangling.Therewouldbeanannouncementlikethatquitesoon,hefeltcertain,anditwouldbedirectedmainlyatLily,thoughhername,ofcourse,wouldnotbementioned.Everyonewouldknow.

Everyonehadknown,herememberedwithhumiliation,thattheannouncementATTENTION.THISISAREMINDERTOMALEELEVENSTHATOBJECTSARENOTTOBEREMOVEDFROMTHERECREATIONAREAANDTHATSNACKSARETOBEEATEN,NOTHOARDEDhadbeenspecificallydirectedathim,thedaylastmonththathehadtakenanapplehome.Noonehadmentionedit,notevenhisparents,becausethepublicannouncementhadbeensufficienttoproducetheappropriateremorse.Hehad,ofcourse,disposedoftheappleandmadehisapologytotheRecreationDirectorthenextmorning,beforeschool.

Jonasthoughtagainaboutthatincident.Hewasstillbewilderedbyit.Notbytheannouncementorthenecessaryapology;thosewerestandardprocedures,andhehaddeservedthem—butbytheincidentitself.Heprobablyshouldhavebroughtuphisfeelingofbewildermentthatveryeveningwhenthefamilyunithadsharedtheirfeelingsoftheday.Buthe

hadnotbeenabletosortoutandputwordstothesourceofhisconfusion,sohehadletitpass.

Ithadhappenedduringtherecreationperiod,whenhehadbeenplayingwithAsher.Jonashadcasuallypickedupanapplefromthebasketwherethesnackswerekept,andhadthrownittohisfriend.Asherhadthrownitback,andtheyhadbegunasimplegameofcatch.

Therehadbeennothingspecialaboutit;itwasanactivitythathehadperformedcountlesstimes:throw,catch;throw,catch.ItwaseffortlessforJonas,andevenboring,thoughAsherenjoyedit,andplayingcatchwasarequiredactivityforAsherbecauseitwouldimprovehishand-eyecoordination,whichwasnotuptostandards.

ButsuddenlyJonashadnoticed,followingthepathoftheapplethroughtheairwithhiseyes,thatthepieceoffruithad—well,thiswasthepartthathecouldn’tadequatelyunderstand—theapplehadchanged.Justforaninstant.Ithadchangedinmid-air,heremembered.Thenitwasinhishand,andhelookedatitcarefully,butitwasthesameapple.Unchanged.Thesamesizeandshape:aperfectsphere.Thesamenondescriptshade,aboutthesameshadeashisowntunic.

Therewasabsolutelynothingremarkableaboutthatapple.Hehadtosseditbackandforthbetweenhishandsafewtimes,thenthrownitagaintoAsher.Andagain—intheair,foraninstantonly—ithadchanged.

Ithadhappenedfourtimes.Jonashadblinked,lookedaround,andthentestedhiseyesight,squintingatthesmallprintontheidentificationbadgeattachedtohistunic.Hereadhisnamequiteclearly.HecouldalsoclearlyseeAsherattheotherendofthethrowingarea.Andhehadhadnoproblemcatchingtheapple.

Jonashadbeencompletelymystified.

“Ash?”hehadcalled.“Doesanythingseemstrangetoyou?Abouttheapple?”

“Yes,”Ashercalledback,laughing.“Itjumpsoutofmyhandontotheground!”Asherhadjustdroppeditonceagain.

SoJonaslaughedtoo,andwithhislaughtertriedtoignorehisuneasyconvictionthatsomethinghadhappened.Buthehadtakentheapplehome,againsttherecreationarearules.Thatevening,beforehisparentsandLilyarrivedatthedwelling,hehadhelditinhishandsandlookedatitcarefully.Itwasslightlybruisednow,becauseAsherhaddroppeditseveraltimes.Buttherewasnothingatallunusualabouttheapple.

Hehadheldamagnifyingglasstoit.Hehadtosseditseveraltimesacrosstheroom,watching,andthenrolleditaroundandaroundonhisdesktop,waitingforthethingtohappenagain.

Butithadn’t.Theonlythingthathappenedwastheannouncementlaterthateveningoverthespeaker,theannouncementthathadsingledhimoutwithoutusinghisname,thathadcausedbothofhisparentstoglancemeaningfullyathisdeskwheretheapplestilllay.

Now,sittingathisdesk,staringathisschoolworkashisfamilyhoveredoverthenewchildinitsbasket,heshookhishead,tryingtoforgettheoddincident.Heforcedhim-selftoarrangehispapersandtrytostudyalittlebeforetheeveningmeal.Thenewchild,Gabriel,stirredandwhimpered,andFatherspokesoftlytoLily,explainingthefeedingprocedureasheopenedthecontainerthatheldtheformulaandequipment.

Theeveningproceededasalleveningsdidinthefamilyunit,inthedwelling,inthecommunity:quiet,reflective,atimeforrenewalandpreparationforthedaytocome.Itwasdifferentonlyintheadditiontoitofthenewchildwithhispale,solemn,knowingeyes.

4

Jonasrodeataleisurelypace,glancingatthebikeportsbesidethebuildingstoseeifhecouldspotAsher’s.Hedidn’toftendohisvolunteerhourswithhisfriendbecauseAsherfrequentlyfooledaroundandmadeseriousworkalittledifficult.Butnow,withTwelvecomingsosoonandthevolunteerhoursending,itdidn’tseemtomatter.

ThefreedomtochoosewheretospendthosehourshadalwaysseemedawonderfulluxurytoJonas;otherhoursofthedayweresocarefullyregulated.

HerememberedwhenhehadbecomeanEight,asLilywoulddoshortly,andhadbeenfacedwiththatfreedomofchoice.TheEightsalwayssetoutontheirfirstvolunteerhouralittlenervously,gigglingandstayingingroupsoffriends.TheyalmostinvariablydidtheirhoursonRecreationDutyfirst,helpingwiththeyoungeronesinaplacewheretheystillfeltcomfortable.Butwithguidance,astheydevelopedself-confidenceandmaturity,theymovedontootherjobs,gravitatingtowardthosethatwouldsuittheirowninterestsandskills.

AmaleElevennamedBenjaminhaddonehisentirenearly-FouryearsintheRehabilitationCenter,workingwithcitizenswhohadbeeninjured.ItwasrumoredthathewasasskillednowastheRehabilitationDirectorsthemselves,andthathehadevendevelopedsomema-chinesandmethodstohastenrehabilitation.TherewasnodoubtthatBenjaminwouldreceivehisAssignmenttothatfieldandwouldprobablybepermittedtobypassmostofthetraining.

JonaswasimpressedbythethingsBenjaminhadachieved.Heknewhim,ofcourse,sincetheyhadalwaysbeengroupmates,buttheyhadnevertalkedabouttheboy’saccomplishmentsbecausesuchaconversationwouldhavebeenawkwardforBenjamin.Therewasneveranycomfortablewaytomentionordiscussone’ssuccesseswithout

breakingtheruleagainstbragging,evenifonedidn’tmeanto.Itwasaminorrule,ratherlikerudeness,punishableonlybygentlechastisement.Butstill.Bettertosteerclearofanoccasiongovernedbyarulewhichwouldbesoeasytobreak.

Theareaofdwellingsbehindhim,Jonasrodepastthecommunitystructures,hopingtospotAsher’sbicycleparkedbesideoneofthesmallfactoriesorofficebuildings.HepassedtheChildcareCenterwhereLilystayedafterschool,andtheplayareassurroundingit.HerodethroughtheCentralPlazaandthelargeAuditoriumwherepublicmeetingswereheld.

JonasslowedandlookedatthenametagsonthebicycleslinedupoutsidetheNurturingCenter.ThenhecheckedthoseoutsideFoodDistribution;itwasalwaysfuntohelpwiththedeliveries,andhehopedhewouldfindhisfriendtheresothattheycouldgotogetheronthedailyrounds,carryingthecartonsofsuppliesintothedwellingsofthecommunity.ButhefinallyfoundAsher’sbicycle—leaning,asusual,insteadofuprightinitsport,asitshouldhavebeen—attheHouseoftheOld.

Therewasonlyoneotherchild’sbicyclethere,thatofafemaleElevennamedFiona.JonaslikedFiona.Shewasagoodstudent,quietandpolite,butshehadasenseoffunaswell,anditdidn’tsurprisehimthatshewasworkingwithAshertoday.Heparkedhisbicycleneatlyintheportbesidetheirsandenteredthebuilding.

“Hello,Jonas,”theattendantatthefrontdesksaid.Shehandedhimthesign-upsheetandstampedherownofficialsealbesidehissignature.AllofhisvolunteerhourswouldbecarefullytabulatedattheHallofOpenRecords.Once,longago,itwaswhisperedamongthechildren,anElevenhadarrivedattheCeremonyofTwelveonlytohearapublicannouncementthathehadnotcompletedtherequirednumberofvolunteerhoursandwouldnot,there-fore,begivenhisAssignment.Hehadbeenpermittedanadditionalmonthinwhichtocompletethehours,

andthengivenhisAssignmentprivately,withnoapplause,nocelebration:adisgracethathadcloudedhisentirefuture.

“It’sgoodtohavesomevolunteersheretoday,”theattendanttoldhim.“Wecelebratedareleasethismorning,andthatalwaysthrowsthescheduleoffalittle,sothingsgetbackedup.”Shelookedataprintedsheet.“Let’ssee.AsherandFionaarehelpinginthebathingroom.Whydon’tyoujointhemthere?Youknowwhereitis,don’tyou?”

Jonasnodded,thankedher,andwalkeddownthelonghallway.Heglancedintotheroomsoneitherside.TheOldweresittingquietly,somevisitingandtalkingwithoneanother,othersdoinghandworkandsimplecrafts.Afewwereasleep.Eachroomwascomfortablyfurnished,thefloorscoveredwiththickcarpeting.Itwasasereneandslow-pacedplace,unlikethebusycentersofmanufactureanddistributionwherethedailyworkofthecommunityoccurred.

Jonaswasgladthathehad,overtheyears,chosentodohishoursinavarietyofplacessothathecouldexperiencethedifferences.Herealized,though,thatnotfocusingononeareameanthewasleftwithnottheslightestidea—notevenaguess—ofwhathisAssignmentwouldbe.

Helaughedsoftly.ThinkingabouttheCeremonyagain,Jonas?Heteasedhimself.Buthesuspectedthatwiththedatesonear,probablyallofhisfriendswere,too.

HepassedaCaretakerwalkingslowlywithoneoftheOldinthehall.“Hello,Jonas,”theyounguniformedmansaid,smilingpleasantly.Thewomanbesidehim,whosearmheheld,washunchedoverassheshuffledalonginhersoftslippers.ShelookedtowardJonasandsmiled,butherdarkeyeswerecloudedandblank.Herealizedshewasblind.

Heenteredthebathingroomwithitswarmmoistairandscentofcleansinglotions.Heremovedhistunic,hungitcarefullyonawallhook,

andputonthevolunteer’ssmockthatwasfoldedonashelf.

“Hi,Jonas!”Ashercalledfromthecornerwherehewaskneelingbesideatub.JonassawFionanearby,atadifferenttub.Shelookedupandsmiledathim,butshewasbusy,gentlywashingamanwholayinthewarmwater.

Jonasgreetedthemandthecaretakingattendantsatworknearby.ThenhewenttotherowofpaddedloungingchairswhereothersoftheOldwerewaiting.Hehadworkedherebefore;heknewwhattodo.

“Yourturn,Larissa,”hesaid,readingthenametagonthewoman’srobe.“I’lljuststartthewaterandthenhelpyouup.”Hepressedthebuttononanearbyemptytubandwatchedasthewarmwaterflowedinthroughthemanysmallopeningsonthesides.Thetubwouldbefilledinaminuteandthewaterflowwouldstopautomatically.

Hehelpedthewomanfromthechair,ledhertothetub,removedherrobe,andsteadiedherwithhishandonherarmasshesteppedinandloweredherself.Sheleanedbackandsighedwithpleasure,herheadonasoftcushionedheadrest.

“Comfortable?”heasked,andshenodded,hereyesclosed.Jonassqueezedcleansinglotionontothecleanspongeattheedgeofthetubandbegantowashherfrailbody.

Lastnighthehadwatchedashisfatherbathedthenew-child.Thiswasmuchthesame:thefragileskin,thesoothingwater,thegentlemotionofhishand,slipperywithsoap.Therelaxed,peacefulsmileonthewoman’sfacere-mindedhimofGabrielbeingbathed.

Andthenakedness,too.Itwasagainsttherulesforchildrenoradultstolookatanother’snakedness;buttheruledidnotapplytonewchildrenortheOld.Jonaswasglad.Itwasanuisancetokeeponeselfcovered

whilechangingforgames,andtherequiredapologyifonehadbymistakeglimpsedanother’sbodywasalwaysawkward.Hecouldn’tseewhyitwasnecessary.Helikedthefeelingofsafetyhereinthiswarmandquietroom;helikedtheexpressionoftrustonthewoman’sfaceasshelayinthewaterunprotected,exposed,andfree.

FromthecornerofhiseyehecouldseehisfriendFionahelptheoldmanfromthetubandtenderlypathisthin,nakedbodydrywithanabsorbentcloth.Shehelpedhimintohisrobe.

JonasthoughtLarissahaddriftedintosleep,astheOldoftendid,andhewascarefultokeephismotionssteadyandgentlesohewouldn’twakeher.Hewassurprisedwhenshespoke,hereyesstillclosed.

“ThismorningwecelebratedthereleaseofRoberto,”shetoldhim.“Itwaswonderful.”

“IknewRoberto!”Jonassaid.“IhelpedwithhisfeedingthelasttimeIwashere,justafewweeksago.Hewasaveryinterestingman.”

Larissaopenedhereyeshappily.“Theytoldhiswholelifebeforetheyreleasedhim,”shesaid.“Theyalwaysdo.Buttobehonest,”shewhisperedwithamischievouslook,“someofthetellingsarealittleboring.I’veevenseensomeoftheOldfallasleepduringtellings—whentheyreleasedEdnarecently.DidyouknowEdna?”

Jonasshookhishead.Hecouldn’trecallanyonenamedEdna.

“Well,theytriedtomakeherlifesoundmeaningful.Andofcourse,”sheaddedprimly,“alllivesaremeaningful,Idon’tmeanthattheyaren’t.ButEdna.Mygoodness.ShewasaBirthmother,andthensheworkedinFoodProductionforyears,untilshecamehere.Sheneverevenhadafamilyunit.”

Larissaliftedherheadandlookedaroundtomakesurenooneelsewas

listening.Thensheconfided,“Idon’tthinkEdnawasverysmart.”

Jonaslaughed.Herinsedherleftarm,laiditbackintothewater,andbegantowashherfeet.Shemurmuredwithpleasureashemassagedherfeetwiththesponge.

“ButRoberto’slifewaswonderful,”Larissawenton,afteramoment.“HehadbeenanInstructorofElevens—youknowhowimportantthatis—andhe’dbeenonthePlanningCommittee.And—goodness,Idon’tknowhowhefoundthetime—healsoraisedtwoverysuccessfulchildren,andhewasalsotheonewhodidthelandscapingdesignfortheCentralPlaza.Hedidn’tdotheactuallabor,ofcourse.”

“Nowyourback.LeanforwardandI’llhelpyousitup.”Jonasputhisarmaroundherandsupportedherasshesat.Hesqueezedthespongeagainstherbackandbegantorubhersharp-bonedshoulders.“Tellmeaboutthecelebration.”

“Well,therewasthetellingofhislife.Thatisalwaysfirst.Thenthetoast.Weallraisedourglassesandcheered.Wechantedtheanthem.Hemadealovelygood-byespeech.Andseveralofusmadelittlespeecheswishinghimwell.Ididn’t,though.I’veneverbeenfondofpublicspeaking.

“Hewasthrilled.Youshouldhaveseenthelookonhisfacewhentheylethimgo.”

Jonasslowedthestrokesofhishandonherbackthoughtfully.“Larissa,”heasked,“whathappenswhentheymaketheactualrelease?WhereexactlydidRobertogo?”

Sheliftedherbarewetshouldersinasmallshrug.“Idon’tknow.Idon’tthinkanybodydoes,exceptthecommittee.Hejustbowedtoallofusandthenwalked,liketheyalldo,throughthespecialdoorinthe

ReleasingRoom.Butyoushouldhaveseenhislook.Purehappiness,I’dcallit.”

Jonasgrinned.“IwishI’dbeentheretoseeit.”

Larissafrowned.“Idon’tknowwhytheydon’tletchildrencome.Notenoughroom,Iguess.Theyshoulden-largetheReleasingRoom.”

“We’llhavetosuggestthattothecommittee.Maybethey’dstudyit,”Jonassaidslyly,andLarissachortledwithlaughter.

“Right!”shehooted,andJonashelpedherfromthetub.

5

Usually,atthemorningritualwhenthefamilymemberstoldtheirdreams,Jonasdidn’tcontributemuch.Herarelydreamed.Sometimesheawokewithafeelingoffragmentsafloatinhissleep,buthecouldn’tseemtograspthemandputthemtogetherintosomethingworthyoftellingattheritual.

Butthismorningwasdifferent.Hehaddreamedveryvividlythenightbefore.

HismindwanderedwhileLily,asusual,recountedalengthydream,thisoneafrighteningoneinwhichshehad,againsttherules,beenridinghermother’sbicycleandbeencaughtbytheSecurityGuards.

TheyalllistenedcarefullyanddiscussedwithLilythewarningthatthedreamhadgiven.

“Thankyouforyourdream,Lily.”Jonassaidthestandardphraseautomatically,andtriedtopaybetterattentionwhilehismothertoldofadreamfragment,adisquietingscenewhereshehadbeenchastisedforaruleinfractionshedidn’tunderstand.Togethertheyagreedthatit

probablyresultedfromherfeelingswhenshehadreluctantlydealtpunishmenttothecitizenwhohadbrokenthemajorrulesasecondtime.

Fathersaidthathehadhadnodreams.

“Gabe?”Fatherasked,lookingdownatthebasketwherethenewchildlaygurglingafterhisfeeding,readytobetakenbacktotheNurturingCenterfortheday.

Theyalllaughed.Dream-tellingbeganwithThrees.Ifnewchildrendreamed,nooneknew.

“Jonas?”Motherasked.Theyalwaysasked,thoughtheyknewhowrarelyJonashadadreamtotell.

“Ididdreamlastnight,”Jonastoldthem.Heshiftedinhischair,frowning.

“Good,”Fathersaid.“Tellus.”

“Thedetailsaren’tclear,really,”Jonasexplained,tryingtorecreatetheodddreaminhismind.“IthinkIwasinthebathingroomattheHouseoftheOld.”

“That’swhereyouwereyesterday,”Fatherpointedout.

Jonasnodded.“Butitwasn’treallythesame.Therewasatub,inthedream.Butonlyone.Andtherealbathingroomhasrowsandrowsofthem.Buttheroominthedreamwaswarmanddamp.AndIhadtakenoffmytunic,buthadn’tputonthesmock,somychestwasbare.Iwasperspiring,becauseitwassowarm.AndFionawasthere,thewayshewasyesterday.”

“Asher,too?”Motherasked.

Jonasshookhishead.“No.ItwasonlymeandFiona,aloneintheroom,standingbesidethetub.Shewaslaughing.ButIwasn’t.Iwasalmostalittleangryather,inthedream,becauseshewasn’ttakingmeseriously.”

“Seriouslyaboutwhat?”Lilyasked.

Jonaslookedathisplate.Forsomereasonthathedidn’tunderstand,hefeltslightlyembarrassed.“IthinkIwastryingtoconvinceherthatsheshouldgetintothetubofwater.”

Hepaused.Heknewhehadtotellitall,thatitwasnotonlyallrightbutnecessarytotellallofadream.Soheforcedhimselftorelatethepartthatmadehimuneasy.

“Iwantedhertotakeoffherclothesandgetintothetub,”heexplainedquickly.“Iwantedtobatheher.Ihadthespongeinmyhand.Butshewouldn’t.Shekeptlaughingandsayingno.”

Helookedupathisparents.“That’sall,”hesaid.“Canyoudescribethestrongestfeelinginyourdream,son?”Fatherasked.

Jonasthoughtaboutit.Thedetailsweremurkyandvague.Butthefeelingswereclear,andfloodedhimagainnowashethought.“Thewanting,”hesaid.“Iknewthatshewouldn’t.AndIthinkIknewthatsheshouldn’t.ButIwanteditsoterribly.Icouldfeelthewantingallthroughme.”

“Thankyouforyourdream,Jonas,”Mothersaidafteramoment.SheglancedatFather.

“Lily,”Fathersaid,“it’stimetoleaveforschool.Wouldyouwalkbesidemethismorningandkeepaneyeonthenewchild’sbasket?Wewanttobecertainhedoesn’twigglehimselfloose.”

Jonasbegantorisetocollecthisschoolbooks.Hethoughtitsurprisingthattheyhadn’ttalkedabouthisdreamatlengthbeforethethankyou.Perhapstheyfounditasconfusingashehad.

“Wait,Jonas,”Mothersaidgently.“I’llwriteanapologytoyourinstructorsothatyouwon’thavetospeakoneforbeinglate.”

Hesankbackdownintohischair,puzzled.HewavedtoFatherandLilyastheyleftthedwelling,carryingGabeinhisbasket.HewatchedwhileMothertidiedtheremainsofthemorningmealandplacedthetraybythefrontdoorfortheCollectionCrew.

Finallyshesatdownbesidehimatthetable.“Jonas,”shesaidwithasmile,“thefeelingyoudescribedasthewanting?ItwasyourfirstStirrings.FatherandIhavebeenexpectingittohappentoyou.Ithappenstoeveryone.IthappenedtoFatherwhenhewasyourage.Andithappenedtome.ItwillhappensomedaytoLily.

“Andveryoften,”Motheradded,“itbeginswithadream.”

Stirrings.Hehadheardthewordbefore.HerememberedthattherewasareferencetotheStirringsintheBookofRules,thoughhedidn’trememberwhatitsaid.AndnowandthentheSpeakermentionedit.ATTENTION.AREMINDERTHATSTIRRINGSMUSTBEREPORTEDINORDERFORTREATMENTTOTAKEPLACE.

Hehadalwaysignoredthatannouncementbecausehedidn’tunderstanditandithadneverseemedtoapplytohiminanyway.Heignored,asmostcitizensdid,manyofthecommandsandremindersreadbytheSpeaker.

“DoIhavetoreportit?”heaskedhismother.

Shelaughed.“Youdid,inthedream-telling.That’senough.”

“Butwhataboutthetreatment?TheSpeakersaysthattreatmentmusttakeplace.”Jonasfeltmiserable.JustwhentheCeremonywasabouttohappen,hisCeremonyofTwelve,wouldhehavetogoawaysomeplacefortreatment?Justbecauseofastupiddream?

Buthismotherlaughedagaininareassuring,affection-ateway.“No,no,”shesaid.“It’sjustthepills.You’rereadyforthepills,that’sall.That’sthetreatmentforStir-rings.”

Jonasbrightened.Heknewaboutthepills.Hisparentsbothtookthemeachmorning.Andsomeofhisfriendsdid,heknew.OncehehadbeenheadingofftoschoolwithAsher,bothofthemontheirbikes,whenAsher’sfatherhadcalledfromtheirdwellingdoorway,“Youforgotyourpill,Asher!”Asherhadgroanedgood-naturedly,turnedhisbike,andriddenbackwhileJonaswaited.

Itwasthesortofthingonedidn’taskafriendaboutbecauseitmighthavefallenintothatuncomfortablecategoryof‘beingdifferent.’Ashertookapilleachmorning;Jonasdidnot.Alwaysbetter,lessrude,totalkaboutthingsthatwerethesame.

Nowheswallowedthesmallpillthathismotherhandedhim.

“That’sall?”heasked.

“That’sall,”shereplied,returningthebottletothecupboard.“Butyoumustn’tforget.I’llremindyouforthefirstweeks,butthenyoumustdoitonyourown.Ifyouforget,theStirringswillcomeback.ThedreamsofStirringswillcomeback.Sometimesthedosagemustbeadjusted.”

“Ashertakesthem,”Jonasconfided.

Hismothernodded,unsurprised.“Manyofyourgroupmatesprobablydo.Themales,atleast.Andtheyallwill,soon.Femalestoo.”

“HowlongwillIhavetotakethem?”

“UntilyouentertheHouseoftheOld,”sheexplained.

"Allofyouradultlife.Butitbecomesroutine;afterawhileyouwon'tevenpaymuchattentiontoit."

Shelookedatherwatch."Ifyouleaverightnow,youwon'tevenbelateforschool.Hurryalong.

"Andthankyouagain,Jonas,"sheadded,ashewenttothedoor,"foryourdream."

Pedalingrapidlydownthepath,Jonasfeltoddlyproudtohavejoinedthosewhotookthepills.Foramoment,though,herememberedthedreamagain.Thedreamhadfeltpleasurable.Thoughthefeelingswereconfused,hethoughtthathehadlikedthefeelingsthathismotherhadcalledStirrings.Herememberedthatuponwaking,hehadwantedtofeeltheStirringsagain.

Then,inthesamewaythathisowndwellingslippedawaybehindhimasheroundedacorneronhisbicycle,thedreamslippedawayfromhisthoughts.Verybriefly,alittleguiltily,hetriedtograspitback.Butthefeelingshaddisappeared.TheStirringsweregone.

6

"Lily,pleaseholdstill,"Mothersaidagain.

Lily,standinginfrontofher,fidgetedimpatiently."Icantiethemmyself,"shecomplained."Ialwayshave."

"Iknowthat,"Motherreplied,straighteningthehairribbonsonthelittlegirl'sbraids."ButIalsoknowthattheyconstantlycomelooseandmoreoftenthannot,they'redanglingdownyourbackbyafternoon.

Today,atleast,wewantthemtobeneatlytiedandtostayneatlytied."

"Idon'tlikehairribbons.I'mgladIonlyhavetowearthemonemoreyear,"Lilysaidirritably."NextyearIgetmybicycle,too,"sheaddedmorecheerfully.

"Therearegoodthingseachyear,"Jonasremindedher."Thisyearyougettostartyourvolunteerhours.Andre-memberlastyear,whenyoubecameaSeven,youweresohappytogetyourfront-buttonedjacket?"

Thelittlegirlnoddedandlookeddownatherself,atthejacketwithitsrowoflargebuttonsthatdesignatedherasaSeven.Fours,Fives,andSixesallworejacketsthatfasteneddownthebacksothattheywouldhavetohelpeachotherdressandwouldlearninterdependence.

Thefront-buttonedjacketwasthefirstsignofinde-pendence,thefirstveryvisiblesymbolofgrowingup.Thebicycle,atNine,wouldbethepowerfulemblemofmovinggraduallyoutintothecommunity,awayfromtheprotectivefamilyunit.

Lilygrinnedandwriggledawayfromhermother.''AndthisyearyougetyourAssignment,''shesaidtoJonasinanexcitedvoice."IhopeyougetPilot.Andthatyoutakemeflying!"

"SureIwill,"saidJonas."AndI'llgetaspeciallittleparachutethatjustfitsyou,andI'lltakeyouupto,oh,maybetwentythousandfeet,andopenthedoor,and—"

"Jonas,"Motherwarned.

"Iwasonlyjoking,"Jonasgroaned."Idon'twantPilot,anyway.IfIgetPilotI'llputinanappeal."

"Comeon,"Mothersaid.ShegaveLily'sribbonsafinaltug."Jonas?Areyouready?Didyoutakeyourpill?Iwanttogetagoodseatinthe

Auditorium.''SheproddedLilytothefrontdoorandJonasfollowed.

ItwasashortridetotheAuditorium,LilywavingtoherfriendsfromherseatonthebackofMother'sbicycle.JonasstowedhisbicyclebesideMother'sandmadehiswaythroughthethrongtofindhisgroup.

TheentirecommunityattendedtheCeremonyeachyear.Fortheparents,itmeanttwodaysholidayfromwork;theysattogetherinthehugehall.Childrensatwiththeirgroupsuntiltheywent,onebyone,tothestage.

Father,though,wouldnotjoinMotherintheaudiencerightaway.Fortheearliestceremony,theNaming,theNurturersbroughtthenewchildrentothestage.Jonas,fromhisplaceinthebalconywiththeElevens,searchedtheAuditoriumforaglimpseofFather.Itwasn'tatallhardtospottheNurturers'sectionatthefront;comingfromitwerethewailsandhowlsofthenewchildrenwhosatsquirmingontheNurturers'laps.Ateveryotherpublicceremony,theaudiencewassilentandattentive.Butonceayear,theyallsmiledindulgentlyatthecommotionfromthelittleoneswaitingtoreceivetheirnamesandfamilies.

Jonasfinallycaughthisfather'seyeandwaved.Fathergrinnedandwavedback,thenheldupthehandofthenewchildonhislap,makingitwave,too.

Itwasn'tGabriel.GabewasbackattheNurturingCentertoday,beingcaredforbythenightcrew.Hehadbeengivenanunusualandspecialreprievefromthecommittee,andgrantedanadditionalyearofnurturingbeforehisNamingandPlacement.FatherhadgonebeforethecommitteewithapleaonbehalfofGabriel,whohadnotyetgainedtheweightappropriatetohisdaysoflifenorbeguntosleepsoundlyenoughatnighttobeplacedwithhisfamilyunit.NormallysuchanewchildwouldbelabeledInadequateandreleasedfromthecommunity.

Instead,asaresultofFather'splea,GabrielhadbeenlabeledUncertainandgiventheadditionalyear.HewouldcontinuetobenurturedattheCenterandwouldspendhisnightswithJonas'sfamilyunit.Eachfamilymember,includingLily,hadbeenrequiredtosignapledgethattheywouldnotbecomeattachedtothislittletemporaryguest,andthattheywouldrelinquishhimwithoutprotestorappealwhenhewasassignedtohisownfamilyunitatnextyear'sCeremony.

Atleast,Jonasthought,afterGabrielwasplacednextyear,theywouldstillseehimoftenbecausehewouldbepartofthecommunity.Ifhewerereleased,theywouldnotseehimagain.Ever.Thosewhowerereleased—evenasnewchildren—weresentElsewhereandneverreturnedtothecommunity.

Fatherhadnothadtoreleaseasinglenewchildthisyear,soGabrielwouldhaverepresentedarealfailureandsadness.EvenJonas,thoughhedidn'thoveroverthelittleonethewayLilyandhisfatherdid,wasgladthatGabehadnotbeenreleased.

ThefirstCeremonybeganrightontime,andJonaswatchedasoneafteranothereachnewchildwasgivenanameandhandedbytheNurturerstoitsnewfamilyunit.Forsome,itwasafirstchild.Butmanycametothestageaccompaniedbyanotherchildbeamingwithpridetoreceivealittlebrotherorsister,thewayJonashadwhenhewasabouttobeaFive.

AsherpokedJonas'sarm.''RememberwhenwegotPhillipa?''heaskedinaloudwhisper.Jonasnodded.Ithadonlybeenlastyear.Asher'sparentshadwaitedquitealongtimebeforeapplyingforasecondchild.Maybe,Jonassuspected,theyhadbeensoexhaustedbyAsher'slivelyfoolishnessthattheyhadneededalittletime.

Twooftheirgroup,FionaandanotherfemalenamedThea,weremissingtemporarily,waitingwiththeirparentstoreceivenewchildren.

Butitwasrarethattherewassuchanagegapbetweenchildreninafamilyunit.

Whenherfamily'sceremonywascompleted,FionatooktheseatthathadbeensavedforherintherowaheadofAsherandJonas.Sheturnedandwhisperedtothem,"He'scute.ButIdon'tlikehisnameverymuch."Shemadeafaceandgiggled.Fiona'snewbrotherhadbeennamedBruno.Itwasn'tagreatname,Jonasthought,like—well,likeGabriel,forexample.Butitwasokay.

Theaudienceapplause,whichwasenthusiasticateachNaming,roseinanexuberantswellwhenoneparentalpair,glowingwithpride,tookamalenewchildandheardhimnamedCaleb.

ThisnewCalebwasareplacementchild.ThecouplehadlosttheirfirstCaleb,acheerfullittleFour.Lossofachildwasvery,veryrare.Thecommunitywasextraordinarilysafe,eachcitizenwatchfulandprotectiveofallchildren.ButsomehowthefirstlittleCalebhadwanderedawayunnoticed,andhadfallenintotheriver.TheentirecommunityhadperformedtheCeremonyofLosstogether,murmuringthenameCalebthroughoutanentireday,lessandlessfrequently,softerinvolume,asthelongandsomberdaywenton,sothatthelittleFourseemedtofadeawaygraduallyfromeveryone'sconsciousness.

Now,atthisspecialNaming,thecommunityper-formedthebriefMurmur-of-ReplacementCeremony,repeatingthenameforthefirsttimesincetheloss:softlyandslowlyatfirst,thenfasterandwithgreatervolume,asthecouplestoodonthestagewiththenewchildsleepinginthemother'sarms.ItwasasifthefirstCalebwerereturning.

AnothernewchildwasgiventhenameRoberto,andJonasrememberedthatRobertotheOldhadbeenreleasedonlylastweek.ButtherewasnoMurmur-of-ReplacementCeremonyforthenewlittleRoberto.ReleasewasnotthesameasLoss.

HesatpolitelythroughtheceremoniesofTwoandThreeandFour,increasinglyboredashewaseachyear.Thenabreakformiddaymeal—servedoutdoors—and

backagaintotheseats,fortheFives,Sixes,Sevens,andfinally,lastofthefirstday'sceremonies,theEights.

JonaswatchedandcheeredasLilymarchedproudlytothestage,becameanEightandreceivedtheidentifyingjacketthatshewouldwearthisyear,thisonewithsmallerbuttonsand,forthefirsttime,pockets,indicatingthatshewasmatureenoughnowtokeeptrackofherownsmallbelongings.ShestoodsolemnlylisteningtothespeechoffirminstructionsontheresponsibilitiesofEightanddoingvolunteerhoursforthefirsttime.ButJonascouldseethatLily,thoughsheseemedattentive,waslookinglonginglyattherowofgleamingbicycles,whichwouldbepresentedtomorrowmorningtotheNines.

Nextyear,Lily-billy,Jonasthought.

Itwasanexhaustingday,andevenGabriel,retrievedinhisbasketfromtheNurturingCenter,sleptsoundlythatnight.

FinallyitwasthemorningoftheCeremonyofTwelve.

NowFathersatbesideMotherintheaudience.JonascouldseethemapplaudingdutifullyastheNines,onebyone,wheeledtheirnewbicycles,eachwithitsgleamingnametagattachedtotheback,fromthestage.Heknewthathisparentscringedalittle,ashedid,whenFritz,wholivedinthedwellingnextdoortotheirs,receivedhisbikeandalmostimmediatelybumpedintothepodiumwithit.Fritzwasaveryawkwardchildwhohadbeensummonedforchastisementagainandagain.Histransgressionsweresmallones,always:shoesonthewrongfeet,schoolworkmisplaced,failuretostudyadequatelyforaquiz.Buteachsucherrorreflectednegativelyonhisparents'guidanceandinfringedon

thecommunity'ssenseoforderandsuccess.JonasandhisfamilyhadnotbeenlookingforwardtoFritz'sbicycle,whichtheyrealizedwouldprobablytoooftenbedroppedonthefrontwalkinsteadofwheeledneatlyintoitsport.

FinallytheNineswereallresettledintheirseats,eachhavingwheeledabicycleoutsidewhereitwouldbewaitingforitsownerattheendoftheday.EveryonealwayschuckledandmadesmalljokeswhentheNinesrodehomeforthefirsttime."Wantmetoshowyouhowtoride?"olderfriendswouldcall."Iknowyou'veneverbeenonabikebefore!"ButinvariablythegrinningNines,whointechnicalviolationoftherulehadbeenpracticingsecretlyforweeks,wouldmountandrideoffinperfectbalance,trainingwheelsnevertouchingtheground.

ThentheTens.JonasneverfoundtheCeremonyofTenparticularlyinteresting—onlytime-consuming,aseachchild'shairwassnippedneatlyintoitsdistinguishingcut:femaleslosttheirbraidsatTen,andmales,too,relinquishedtheirlongchildishhairandtookonthemoremanlyshortstylewhichexposedtheirears.

Laborersmovedquicklytothestagewithbroomsandsweptawaythemoundsofdiscardedhair.JonascouldseetheparentsofthenewTensstirandmurmur,andheknewthatthisevening,inmanydwellings,theywouldbesnip-pingandstraighteningthehastilydonehaircuts,trimmingthemintoaneaterline.

Elevens.ItseemedashorttimeagothatJonashadundergonetheCeremonyofEleven,butherememberedthatitwasnotoneofthemoreinterestingones.ByEleven,onewasonlywaitingtobeTwelve.Itwassimplyamarkingoftimewithnomeaningfulchanges.Therewasnewclothing:differentundergarmentsforthefemales,whosebodieswerebeginningtochange;andlongertrousersforthemales,withaspeciallyshapedpocketforthesmallcalculatorthattheywouldusethisyearinschool;butthoseweresimplypresentedinwrappedpackageswithoutan

accompanyingspeech.

Breakformiddaymeal.Jonasrealizedhewashungry.HeandhisgroupmatescongregatedbythetablesinfrontoftheAuditoriumandtooktheirpackagedfood.Yesterdaytherehadbeenmerrimentatlunch,alotofteasingandenergy.Buttodaythegroupstoodanxiously,separatefromtheotherchildren.JonaswatchedthenewNinesgravitatetowardtheirwaitingbicycles,eachoneadmiringhisorhernametag.HesawtheTensstrokingtheirnewshortenedhair,thefemalesshakingtheirheadstofeeltheunaccustomedlightnesswithouttheheavybraidstheyhadwornsolong.

"IheardaboutaguywhowasabsolutelycertainhewasgoingtobeassignedEngineer,"Ashermutteredastheyate,"andinsteadtheygavehimSanitationLaborer.Hewentoutthenextday,jumpedintotheriver,swamacross,andjoinedthenextcommunityhecameto.Nobodyeversawhimagain."

Jonaslaughed."Somebodymadethatstoryup,Ash,"hesaid."MyfathersaidheheardthatstorywhenhewasaTwelve."

ButAsherwasn'treassured.HewaseyeingtheriverwhereitwasvisiblebehindtheAuditorium."Ican'tevenswimverywell,"hesaid."MyswimminginstructorsaidthatIdon'thavetherightboyishnessorsomething."

"Buoyancy,"Jonascorrectedhim.

"Whatever.Idon'thaveit.Isink."

"Anyway,"Jonaspointedout,"haveyoueveronceknownofanyone—Imeanreallyknownforsure,Asher,notjustheardastoryaboutit—whojoinedanothercommunity?"

"No,"Asheradmittedreluctantly."Butyoucan.Itsayssointherules.

Ifyoudon'tfitin,youcanapplyforElsewhereandbereleased.Mymothersaysthatonce,abouttenyearsago,someoneappliedandwasgonethenextday."Thenhechuckled."ShetoldmethatbecauseIwasdrivinghercrazy.ShethreatenedtoapplyforElse-where."

"Shewasjoking."

"Iknow.Butitwastrue,whatshesaid,thatsomeonedidthatonce.Shesaidthatitwasreallytrue.Heretodayandgonetomorrow.Neverseenagain.NotevenaCeremonyofRelease."

Jonasshrugged.Itdidn'tworryhim.Howcouldsome-onenotfitin?Thecommunitywassometiculouslyordered,thechoicessocarefullymade.

EventheMatchingofSpouseswasgivensuchweightyconsiderationthatsometimesanadultwhoappliedtoreceiveaspousewaitedmonthsorevenyearsbeforeaMatchwasapprovedandannounced.Allofthefactors—disposition,energylevel,intelligence,andinterests—hadtocorrespondandtointeractperfectly.Jonas'smother,forexample,hadhigherintelligencethanhisfather;buthisfatherhadacalmerdisposition.Theybalancedeachother.TheirMatch,whichlikeallMatcheshadbeenmonitoredbytheCommitteeofEldersforthreeyearsbeforetheycouldapplyforchildren,hadalwaysbeenasuccessfulone.

LiketheMatchingofSpousesandtheNamingandPlacementofnewchildren,theAssignmentswerescrupulouslythoughtthroughbytheCommitteeofElders.

HewascertainthathisAssignment,whateveritwastobe,andAsher'stoo,wouldbetherightoneforthem.Heonlywishedthatthemiddaybreakwouldconclude,thattheaudiencewouldreentertheAuditorium,andthesuspensewouldend.

Asifinanswertohisunspokenwish,thesignalcameandthecrowdbegantomovetowardthedoors.

7

NowJonas'sgrouphadtakenanewplaceintheAuditorium,tradingwiththenewElevens,sothattheysatintheveryfront,immediatelybeforethestage.

Theywerearrangedbytheiroriginalnumbers,thenumberstheyhadbeengivenatbirth.ThenumberswererarelyusedaftertheNaming.Buteachchildknewhisnumber,ofcourse.Sometimesparentsusedtheminirritationatachild'smisbehavior,indicatingthatmischiefmadeoneunworthyofaname.Jonasalwayschuckledwhenheheardaparent,exasperated,callsharplytoawhiningtoddler,"That'senough,Twenty-three!''

JonaswasNineteen.Hehadbeenthenineteenthnew-childbornhisyear.IthadmeantthatathisNaming,hehadbeenalreadystandingandbright-eyed,soontowalkandtalk.Ithadgivenhimaslightadvantagethefirstyearortwo,alittlemorematuritythanmanyofhisgroup-mateswhohadbeenborninthelatermonthsofthatyear.Butitevenedout,asitalwaysdid,byThree.

AfterThree,thechildrenprogressedatmuchthesamelevel,thoughbytheirfirstnumberonecouldalwaystellwhowasafewmonthsolderthanothersinhisgroup.Technically,Jonas'sfullnumberwasEleven-nineteen,

sincetherewereotherNineteens,ofcourse,ineachagegroup.Andtoday,nowthatthenewElevenshadbeenadvancedthismorning,thereweretwoEleven-nineteens.Atthemiddaybreakhehadexchangedsmileswiththenewone,ashyfemalenamedHarriet.

Buttheduplicationwasonlyforthesefewhours.VerysoonhewouldnotbeanElevenbutaTwelve,andagewouldnolongermatter.Hewouldbeanadult,likehisparents,thoughanewoneanduntrainedstill.

AsherwasFour,andsatnowintherowaheadofJonas.HewouldreceivehisAssignmentfourth.

Fiona,Eighteen,wasonhisleft;onhisothersidesatTwenty,amalenamedPierrewhomJonasdidn'tlikemuch.Pierrewasveryserious,notmuchfun,andaworrierandtattletale,too."Haveyoucheckedtherules,Jonas?"Pierrewasalwayswhisperingsolemnly."I'mnotsurethat'swithintherules.''Usuallyitwassomefoolishthingthatnoonecaredabout—openinghistunicifitwasadaywithabreeze;takingabrieftryonafriend'sbicycle,justtoexperiencethedifferentfeelofit.

TheinitialspeechattheCeremonyofTwelvewasmadebytheChiefElder,theleaderofthecommunitywhowaselectedeverytenyears.Thespeechwasmuchthesameeachyear:recollectionofthetimeofchildhoodandtheperiodofpreparation,thecomingresponsibilitiesofadultlife,theprofoundimportanceofAssignment,theseriousnessoftrainingtocome.

ThentheChiefEldermovedaheadinherspeech.

"Thisisthetime,"shebegan,lookingdirectlyatthem,when

weacknowledgedifferences.YouElevenshavespentallyouryearstillnowlearningtofitin,tostandardizeyourbehavior,tocurbanyimpulsethatmightsetyouapartfromthegroup.

''Buttodaywehonoryourdifferences.Theyhavedeter-minedyourfutures."

Shebegantodescribethisyear'sgroupanditsvarietyofpersonalities,thoughshesinglednooneoutbyname.Shementionedthattherewasone

whohadsingularskillsatcaretaking,anotherwholovednewchildren,onewithunusualscientificaptitude,andafourthforwhomphysicallaborwasanobviouspleasure.Jonasshiftedinhisseat,tryingtorecognizeeachreferenceasoneofhisgroup-mates.ThecaretakingskillswerenodoubtthoseofFiona,onhisleft;herememberednoticingthetendernesswithwhichshehadbathedtheOld.ProbablytheonewithscientificaptitudewasBenjamin,themalewhohaddevisednew,importantequipmentfortheRehabilitationCenter.

Heheardnothingthatherecognizedashimself,Jonas.

FinallytheChiefElderpaidtributetothehardworkofhercommittee,whichhadperformedtheobservationssometiculouslyallyear.TheCommitteeofEldersstoodandwasacknowledgedbyapplause.JonasnoticedAsheryawnslightly,coveringhismouthpolitelywithhishand.

Then,atlast,theChiefEldercallednumberOnetothestage,andtheAssignmentsbegan.

Eachannouncementwaslengthy,accompaniedbyaspeechdirectedatthenewTwelve.JonastriedtopayattentionasOne,smilinghappily,receivedherAssignmentasFishHatcheryAttendantalongwithwordsofpraiseforherchildhoodspentdoingmanyvolunteerhoursthere,andherobviousinterestintheimportantprocessofprovidingnourishmentforthecommunity.

NumberOne—hernamewasMadeline—returned,finally,amidstapplause,toherseat,wearingthenewbadgethatdesignatedherFishHatcheryAttendant.JonaswascertainlygladthatthatAssignmentwastaken;hewouldn'thavewantedit.ButhegaveMadelineasmileofcongratulation.

WhenTwo,afemalenamedInger,receivedherAssignmentasBirthmother,Jonasrememberedthathismotherhadcalleditajob

withouthonor.ButhethoughtthattheCommitteehadchosenwell.Ingerwasanicegirlthoughsomewhatlazy,andherbodywasstrong.Shewouldenjoythethreeyearsofbeingpamperedthatwouldfollowherbrieftraining;shewouldgivebirtheasilyandwell;andthetaskofLaborerthatwouldfollowwoulduseherstrength,keepherhealthy,andimposeself-discipline.Ingerwassmilingwhensheresumedherseat.Birthmotherwasanimportantjob,iflackinginprestige.

JonasnoticedthatAsherlookednervous.HekeptturninghisheadandglancingbackatJonasuntilthegroupleaderhadtogivehimasilentchastisement,amotiontositstillandfaceforward.

Three,Isaac,wasgivenanAssignmentasInstructorofSixes,whichobviouslypleasedhimandwaswelldeserved.NowtherewerethreeAssignmentsgone,noneofthemonesthatJonaswouldhaveliked—notthathecouldhavebeenaBirthmother,anyway,herealizedwithamusement.Hetriedtosortthroughthelistinhismind,thepossibleAssignmentsthatremained.Butthereweresomanyhegaveitup;andanyway,nowitwasAsher'sturn.Hepaidstrictattentionashisfriendwenttothestageandstoodself-consciouslybesidetheChiefElder.

''AllofusinthecommunityknowandenjoyAsher,"theChiefElderbegan.Ashergrinnedandscratchedonelegwiththeotherfoot.Theaudiencechuckledsoftly.

''WhenthecommitteebegantoconsiderAsher'sAssignment,"shewenton,''thereweresomepossibilitiesthatwereimmediatelydiscarded.Somethatwouldclearly,nothavebeenrightforAsher.

''Forexample,''shesaid,smiling,''wedidnotconsiderforaninstantdesignatingAsheranInstructorofThrees.''

Theaudiencehowledwithlaughter.Asherlaughed,too,lookingsheepishbutpleasedatthespecialattention.TheInstructorsofThrees

wereinchargeoftheacquisitionofcorrectlanguage.

''Infact,"theChiefEldercontinued,chucklingalittleherself,''weevengavealittlethoughttosomeretroactivechastisementfortheonewhohadbeenAsher'sInstructorofThreessolongago.AtthemeetingwhereAsherwasdiscussed,weretoldmanyofthestoriesthatweallre-memberedfromhisdaysoflanguageacquisition.

''Especially,"shesaid,chuckling,''thedifferencebetweensnackandsmack.Remember,Asher?"

Ashernoddedruefully,andtheaudiencelaughedaloud.Jonasdid,too.Heremembered,thoughhehadbeenonlyaThreeatthetimehimself.

Thepunishmentusedforsmallchildrenwasaregulatedsystemofsmackswiththedisciplinewand:athin,flexibleweaponthatstungpainfullywhenitwaswielded.TheChildcarespecialistsweretrainedverycarefullyinthedisciplinemethods:aquicksmackacrossthehandsforabitofminormisbehavior;threesharpersmacksonthebarelegsforasecondoffense.

PoorAsher,whoalwaystalkedtoofastandmixedupwords,evenasatoddler.AsaThree,eagerforhisjuiceandcrackersatsnacktime,heonedaysaid''smack''in-steadof''snack''ashestoodwaitinginlineforthemorningtreat.

Jonasremembereditclearly.HecouldstillseelittleAsher,wigglingwithimpatienceintheline.Herememberedthecheerfulvoicecallout,''Iwantmysmack!''

TheotherThrees,includingJonas,hadlaughednervously."Snack!''theycorrected.''Youmeantsnack,Asher!''Butthemistakehadbeenmade.Andprecisionoflanguagewasoneofthemostimportanttasksofsmallchildren.Asherhadaskedforasmack.

Thedisciplinewand,inthehandoftheChildcareworker,whistledasitcamedownacrossAsher'shands.Asherwhimpered,cringed,andcorrectedhimselfinstantly."Snack,"hewhispered.

Butthenextmorninghehaddoneitagain.Andagainthefollowingweek.Hecouldn'tseemtostop,thoughforeachlapsethedisciplinewandcameagain,escalatingtoaseriesofpainfullashesthatleftmarksonAsher'slegs.Eventually,foraperiodoftime,Asherstoppedtalkingaltogether,whenhewasaThree.

"Forawhile,"theChiefEldersaid,relatingthestory,wehadasilentAsher!Buthelearned.''

Sheturnedtohimwithasmile.''Whenhebegantotalkagain,itwaswithgreaterprecision.Andnowhislapsesareveryfew.Hiscorrectionsandapologiesareveryprompt.Andhisgoodhumorisunfailing.''Theaudiencemurmuredinagreement.Asher'scheerfuldispositionwaswell-knownthroughoutthecommunity.

''Asher.''Sheliftedhervoicetomaketheofficialannouncement.''WehavegivenyoutheAssignmentofAssistantDirectorofRecreation.''

Sheclippedonhisnewbadgeashestoodbesideher,beaming.Thenheturnedandleftthestageastheaudiencecheered.Whenhehadtakenhisseatagain,theChiefElderlookeddownathimandsaidthewordsthatshehadsaidnowfourtimes,andwouldsaytoeachnewTwelve.Somehowshegaveitspecialmeaningforeachofthem.

''Asher,''shesaid,''thankyouforyourchildhood.''

TheAssignmentscontinued,andJonaswatchedandlistened,relievednowbythewonderfulAssignmenthisbestfriendhadbeengiven.Buthewasmoreandmoreapprehensiveashisownapproached.NowthenewTwelvesintherowaheadhadallreceivedtheirbadges.Theywerefingeringthemastheysat,andJonasknewthateachonewasthinkingaboutthetrainingthatlayahead.Forsome—onestudiousmalehadbeenselectedasDoctor,afemaleasEngineer,andanotherforLawandJustice—itwouldbeyearsofhardworkandstudy.Others,likeLaborersandBirthmothers,wouldhaveamuchshortertrainingperiod.

Eighteen,Fiona,onhisleft,wascalled.Jonasknewshemustbenervous,butFionawasacalmfemale.Shehadbeensittingquietly,serenely,throughouttheCeremony.

Eventheapplause,thoughenthusiastic,seemedserenewhenFionawasgiventheimportantAssignmentofCare-takeroftheOld.Itwasperfectforsuchasensitive,gentlegirl,andhersmilewassatisfiedandpleasedwhenshetookherseatbesidehimagain.

JonaspreparedhimselftowalktothestagewhentheapplauseendedandtheChiefElderpickedupthenextfolderandlookeddowntothegrouptocallforwardthenextnewTwelve.Hewascalmnowthathisturnhadcome.Hetookadeepbreathandsmoothedhishairwithhishand.

''Twenty,''heheardhervoicesayclearly.''Pierre.''

Sheskippedme,Jonasthought,stunned.Hadheheardwrong?No.Therewasasuddenhushinthecrowd,andheknewthattheentirecommunityrealizedthattheChiefElderhadmovedfromEighteentoTwenty,leavingagap.Onhisright,Pierre,withastartledlook,rosefromhisseatandmovedtothestage.

Amistake.Shemadeamistake.ButJonasknew,evenashehadthethought,thatshehadn't.TheChiefEldermadenomistakes.NotattheCeremonyofTwelve.

Hefeltdizzy,andcouldn'tfocushisattention.Hedidn'thearwhatAssignmentPierrereceived,andwasonlydimlyawareoftheapplauseastheboyreturned,wearinghisnewbadge.Then:Twenty-one.Twenty-two.

Thenumberscontinuedinorder.Jonassat,dazed,astheymovedintotheThirtiesandthentheForties,nearingtheend.Eachtime,ateachannouncement,hisheartjumpedforamoment,andhethoughtwildthoughts.Perhapsnowshewouldcallhisname.Couldhehaveforgottenhisownnumber?No.HehadalwaysbeenNineteen.HewassittingintheseatmarkedNineteen.

Butshehadskippedhim.Hesawtheothersinhisgroupglanceathim,

embarrassed,andthenaverttheireyesquickly.Hesawaworriedlookonthefaceofhisgroupleader.

Hehunchedhisshouldersandtriedtomakehimselfsmallerintheseat.Hewantedtodisappear,tofadeaway,nottoexist.Hedidn'tdaretoturnandfindhisparentsinthecrowd.Hecouldn'tbeartoseetheirfacesdarkenedwithshame.

Jonasbowedhisheadandsearchedthroughhismind.Whathadhedonewrong?

8

Theaudiencewasclearlyillatease.TheyapplaudedatthefinalAssignment;buttheapplausewaspiecemeal,nolongeracrescendoofunitedenthusiasm.Thereweremurmursofconfusion.

Jonasmovedhishandstogether,clapping,butitwasanautomatic,meaninglessgesturethathewasn'tevenawareof.Hismindhadshutoutalloftheearlieremotions:theanticipation,excitement,pride,andeventhehappykinshipwithhisfriends.Nowhefeltonlyhumiliationandterror.

TheChiefElderwaiteduntiltheuneasyapplausesub-sided.Thenshespokeagain.

"Iknow,"shesaidinhervibrant,graciousvoice,"thatyouareallconcerned.ThatyoufeelIhavemadeamistake."

Shesmiled.Thecommunity,relievedfromitsdiscomfortveryslightlybyherbenignstatement,seemedtobreathemoreeasily.Itwasverysilent.

Jonaslookedup.

"Ihavecausedyouanxiety,"shesaid."Iapologizetomycommunity."Hervoiceflowedovertheassembledcrowd.

''Weacceptyourapology,"theyallutteredtogether.

''Jonas,''shesaid,lookingdownathim,''Iapologizetoyouinparticular.Icausedyouanguish.''

"Iacceptyourapology,''Jonasrepliedshakily."Pleasecometothestagenow.''

Earlierthatday,dressinginhisowndwelling,hehadpracticedthekindofjaunty,self-assuredwalkthathehopedhecouldmaketothestagewhenhisturncame.Allofthatwasforgottennow.Hesimplywilledhimselftostand,tomovehisfeetthatfeltweightedandclumsy,togoforward,upthestepsandacrosstheplatformuntilhestoodatherside.

Reassuringlysheplacedherarmacrosshistenseshoulders.

"Jonashasnotbeenassigned,"sheinformedthecrowd,andhisheartsank.

Thenshewenton.''Jonashasbeenselected."

Heblinked.Whatdidthatmean?Hefeltacollective,questioningstirfromtheaudience.They,too,werepuzzled.

Inafirm,commandingvoicesheannounced,''JonashasbeenselectedtobeournextReceiverofMemory."

Thenheheardthegasp—thesuddenintakeofbreath,drawnsharplyinastonishment,byeachoftheseatedcitizens.Hesawtheirfaces;theeyeswidenedinawe.

Andstillhedidnotunderstand.

"Suchaselectionisvery,veryrare,"theChiefEldertoldtheaudience."OurcommunityhasonlyoneReceiver.Itishewhotrainshissuccessor.

"WehavehadourcurrentReceiverforaverylongtime,''shewenton.JonasfollowedhereyesandsawthatshewaslookingatoneoftheElders.TheCommitteeofElderswassittingtogetherinagroup;andtheChiefElder'seyeswerenowononewhosatinthemidstbutseemedoddlyseparatefromthem.ItwasamanJonashadnevernoticedbefore,abeardedmanwithpaleeyes.HewaswatchingJonasintently.

"Wefailedinourlastselection,"theChiefEldersaidsolemnly."Itwastenyearsago,whenJonaswasjustatoddler.Iwillnotdwellontheexperiencebecauseitcausesusallterriblediscomfort.''

Jonasdidn'tknowwhatshewasreferringto,buthecouldsensethediscomfortoftheaudience.Theyshifteduneasilyintheirseats.

"Wehavenotbeenhastythistime,"shecontinued."Wecouldnotaffordanotherfailure."

"Sometimes,"shewenton,speakingnowinalightertone,relaxingthetensionintheAuditorium,"wearenotentirelycertainabouttheAssignments,evenafterthemostpainstakingobservations.Sometimesweworrythattheoneassignedmightnotdevelop,throughtraining,everyattributenecessary.Elevensarestillchildren,afterall.Whatweobserveasplayfulnessandpatience—therequirementstobecomeNurturer—could,withmaturity,berevealedassimplyfoolishnessandindolence.Sowecontinuetoobserveduringtraining,andtomodifybehaviorwhennecessary.

"ButtheReceiver-in-trainingcannotbeobserved,can-notbemodified.Thatisstatedquiteclearlyintherules.Heistobealone,apart,whileheispreparedbythecur-rentReceiverforthejobwhichisthemosthonoredinourcommunity."

Alone?Apart?Jonaslistenedwithincreasingunease.

''Thereforetheselectionmustbesound.ItmustbeaunanimouschoiceoftheCommittee.Theycanhavenodoubts,howeverfleeting.If,duringtheprocess,anElderreportsadreamofuncertainty,thatdreamhasthepowertosetacandidateasideinstantly.

''JonaswasidentifiedasapossibleReceivermanyyearsago.Wehaveobservedhimmeticulously.Therewerenodreamsofuncertainty.

"HehasshownallofthequalitiesthataReceivermusthave.''

Withherhandstillfirmlyonhisshoulder,theChiefElderlistedthequalities.

"Intelligence,"shesaid."WeareallawarethatJonashasbeenatopstudentthroughouthisschooldays.

''Integrity,''shesaidnext."Jonashas,likeallofus,committedminortransgressions.''Shesmiledathim.''Weexpectthat.Wehoped,also,thathewouldpresenthimselfpromptlyforchastisement,andhehasalwaysdoneso.

"Courage,"shewenton."OnlyoneofusheretodayhaseverundergonetherigoroustrainingrequiredofaReceiver.He,ofcourse,isthemostimportantmemberoftheCommittee:thecurrentReceiver.Itwashewhoremindedus,againandagain,ofthecouragerequired.

''Jonas,''shesaid,turningtohim,butspeakinginavoicethattheentirecommunitycouldhear,"thetrainingrequiredofyouinvolvespain.Physicalpain."

Hefeltfearflutterwithinhim.

"Youhaveneverexperiencedthat.Yes,youhavescrapedyourkneesin

fallsfromyourbicycle.Yes,youcrushedyourfingerinadoorlastyear."

Jonasnodded,agreeing,asherecalledtheincident,anditsaccompanyingmisery.

"Butyouwillbefaced,now,''sheexplainedgently,“withpainofamagnitudethatnoneofusherecancomprehendbecauseitisbeyondourexperience.TheReceiverhimselfwasnotabletodescribeit,onlytoremindusthatyouwouldbefacedwithit,thatyouwouldneedimmensecourage.Wecannotprepareyouforthat.

"Butwefeelcertainthatyouarebrave,"shesaidtohim.

Hedidnotfeelbraveatall.Notnow.

"Thefourthessentialattribute,"theChiefEldersaid,"iswisdom.Jonashasnotyetacquiredthat.Theacquisitionofwisdomwillcomethroughhistraining.

"WeareconvincedthatJonashastheabilitytoacquirewisdom.Thatiswhatwelookedfor.

"Finally,TheReceivermusthaveonemorequality,anditisonewhichIcanonlyname,butnotdescribe.Idonotunderstandit.Youmembersofthecommunitywillnotunderstandit,either.PerhapsJonaswill,becausethecurrentReceiverhastoldusthatJonasalreadyhasthisquality.HecallsittheCapacitytoSeeBeyond."

TheChiefElderlookedatJonaswithaquestioninhereyes.Theaudiencewatchedhim,too.Theyweresilent.

Foramomenthefroze,consumedwithdespair.Hedidn'thaveit,thewhatever-she-had-said.Hedidn'tknowwhatitwas.Nowwasthemomentwhenhewouldhavetoconfess,tosay,"No,Idon't.Ican't,"andthrowhimselfontheirmercy,asktheirforgiveness,toexplain

thathehadbeenwronglychosen,thathewasnottherightoneatall.

Butwhenhelookedoutacrossthecrowd,theseaoffaces,thethinghappenedagain.Thethingthathadhappenedwiththeapple.

Theychanged.

Heblinked,anditwasgone.Hisshouldersstraightenedslightly.Brieflyhefeltatinysliverofsurenessforthefirsttime.

Shewasstillwatchinghim.Theyallwere.

"Ithinkit'strue,"hetoldtheChiefElderandthecommunity."Idon'tunderstandityet.Idon'tknowwhatitis.ButsometimesIseesomething.Andmaybeit'sbeyond."

Shetookherarmfromhisshoulders.

"Jonas,"shesaid,speakingnottohimalonebuttotheentirecommunityofwhichhewasapart,"youwillbetrainedtobeournextReceiverofMemory.Wethankyouforyourchildhood."

Thensheturnedandleftthestage,lefthimtherealone,standingandfacingthecrowd,whichbeganspontaneouslythecollectivemurmurofhisname.

"Jonas."Itwasawhisperatfirst:hushed,barelyaudible.''Jonas.Jonas."

Thenlouder,faster."JONAS.JONAS.JONAS."

Withthechant,Jonasknew,thecommunitywasacceptinghimandhisnewrole,givinghimlife,thewaytheyhadgivenittothenewchildCaleb.Hisheartswelledwithgratitudeandpride.

Butatthesametimehewasfilledwithfear.Hedidnotknowwhathisselectionmeant.Hedidnotknowwhathewastobecome.

Orwhatwouldbecomeofhim.

9

Now,forthefirsttimeinhistwelveyearsoflife,Jonasfeltseparate,different.HerememberedwhattheChiefElderhadsaid:thathistrainingwouldbealoneandapart.

Buthistraininghadnotyetbegunandalready,uponleavingtheAuditorium,hefelttheapartness.Holdingthefoldershehadgivenhim,hemadehiswaythroughthethrong,lookingforhisfamilyunitandforAsher.Peoplemovedasideforhim.Theywatchedhim.Hethoughthecouldhearwhispers.

"Ash!"hecalled,spottinghisfriendneartherowsofbicycles."Ridebackwithme?"

"Sure."Ashersmiled,hisusualsmile,friendlyandfamiliar.ButJonasfeltamomentofhesitationfromhisfriend,anuncertainty.

"Congratulations,"Ashersaid.

"Youtoo,"Jonasreplied."Itwasreallyfunny,whenshetoldaboutthesmacks.Yougotmoreapplausethanalmostanybodyelse.''

TheothernewTwelvesclusterednearby,placingtheirfolderscarefullyintothecarryingcontainersonthebacksofthebikes.Ineachdwellingtonighttheywouldbe

studyingtheinstructionsforthebeginningoftheirtraining.Eachnightforyearsthechildrenhadmemorizedtherequiredlessonsforschool,oftenyawningwithboredom.Tonighttheywouldallbegineagerlyto

memorizetherulesfortheiradultAssignments.

"Congratulations,Asher!''someonecalled.Thenthathesitationagain.''Youtoo,Jonas!"

AsherandJonasrespondedwithcongratulationstotheirgroupmates.Jonassawhisparentswatchinghimfromtheplacewheretheirownbicycleswerewaiting.Lilyhadalreadybeenstrappedintoherseat.

Hewaved.Theywavedback,smiling,buthenoticedthatLilywaswatchinghimsolemnly,herthumbinhermouth.

Herodedirectlytohisdwelling,exchangingonlysmalljokesandunimportantremarkswithAsher.

"Seeyouinthemorning,RecreationDirector!"hecalled,dismountingbyhisdoorasAshercontinuedon.

"Right!Seeyou!"Ashercalledback.Onceagain,therewasjustamomentwhenthingsweren'tquitethesame,weren'tquiteastheyhadalwaysbeenthroughthelongfriendship.Perhapshehadimaginedit.Thingscouldn'tchange,withAsher.

Theeveningmealwasquieterthanusual.Lilychatteredaboutherplansforvolunteerwork;shewouldbegin,shesaid,attheNurturingCenter,sinceshewasalreadyanex-pertatfeedingGabriel.

''Iknow,"sheaddedquickly,whenherfathergaveherawarningglance,"Iwon'tmentionhisname.IknowI'mnotsupposedtoknowhisname.

"Ican'twaitfortomorrowtocome,''shesaidhappily.Jonassigheduneasily.''Ican,''hemuttered.

"You'vebeengreatlyhonored,''hismothersaid.''YourfatherandIare

veryproud.''

"It'sthemostimportantjobinthecommunity,''Fathersaid.

"Butjusttheothernight,yousaidthatthejobofmakingAssignmentswasthemostimportant!''

Mothernodded.''Thisisdifferent.It'snotajob,really.Ineverthought,neverexpected—"Shepaused.''There'sonlyoneReceiver."

"ButtheChiefEldersaidthattheyhadmadeaselectionbefore,andthatitfailed.Whatwasshetalkingabout?"

Bothofhisparentshesitated.Finallyhisfatherde-scribedthepreviousselection.''Itwasverymuchasitwastoday,Jonas—thesamesuspense,asoneElevenhadbeenpassedoverwhentheAssignmentsweregiven.Thentheannouncement,whentheysingledouttheone—"

Jonasinterrupted."Whatwashisname?"

Hismotherreplied,"Her,nothis.Itwasafemale.Butwearenevertospeakthename,ortouseitagainforanewchild."

Jonaswasshocked.AnamedesignatedNot-to-Be-Spokenindicatedthehighestdegreeofdisgrace.

"Whathappenedtoher?"heaskednervously.

Buthisparentslookedblank."Wedon'tknow,"hisfathersaiduncomfortably."Weneversawheragain."

Asilencefellovertheroom.Theylookedateachother.Finallyhismother,risingfromthetable,said,"You'vebeengreatlyhonored,Jonas.Greatlyhonored.''

Aloneinhissleepingroom,preparedforbed,Jonasopenedhisfolderatlast.SomeoftheotherTwelves,hehadnoticed,hadbeengivenfoldersthickwithprintedpages.HeimaginedBenjamin,thescientificmaleinhisgroup,be-ginningtoreadpagesofrulesandinstructionswithrelish.HepicturedFionasmilinghergentlesmileasshebentoverthelistsofdutiesandmethodsthatshewouldberequiredtolearninthedaystocome.

Buthisownfolderwasstartlinglyclosetoempty.Insidetherewasonlyasingleprintedsheet.Hereadittwice.

JONAS

RECEIVEROFMEMORY

1.GoimmediatelyattheendofschoolhourseachdaytotheAnnexentrancebehindtheHouseoftheOldandpresentyourselftotheattendant.

2.GoimmediatelytoyourdwellingattheconclusionofTrainingHourseachday.

3.Fromthismomentyouareexemptedfromrulesgoverningrudeness.Youmayaskanyquestionofanycitizenandyouwillreceiveanswers.

4.Donotdiscussyourtrainingwithanyothermemberofthecommunity,includingparentsandElders.

5.Fromthismomentyouareprohibitedfromdream-telling.

6.Exceptforillnessorinjuryunrelatedtoyourtraining,donotapplyforanymedication.

7.Youarenotpermittedtoapplyforrelease.

8.Youmaylie.

Jonaswasstunned.Whatwouldhappentohisfriend-ships?Hismindlesshoursplayingball,orridinghisbikealongtheriver?Thosehadbeenhappyandvitaltimesforhim.Weretheytobecompletelytakenfromhim,now?Thesimplelogisticinstructions—wheretogo,andwhen—wereexpected.EveryTwelvehadtobetold,ofcourse,whereandhowandwhentoreportfortraining.Buthewasalittledismayedthathisscheduleleftnotime,apparently,forrecreation.

Theexemptionfromrudenessstartledhim.Readingitagain,however,herealizedthatitdidn'tcompelhimtoberude;itsimplyallowedhimtheoption.Hewasquitecertainhewouldnevertakeadvantageofit.Hewassocompletely,sothoroughlyaccustomedtocourtesywithinthecommunitythatthethoughtofaskinganothercitizenanintimatequestion,ofcallingsomeone'sattentiontoanareaofawkwardness,wasunnerving.

Theprohibitionofdream-telling,hethought,wouldnotbearealproblem.Hedreamedsorarelythatthedream-tellingdidnotcomeeasilytohimanyway,andhewasgladtobeexcusedfromit.Hewonderedbriefly,though,howtodealwithitatthemorningmeal.Whatifhediddream—shouldhesimplytellhisfamilyunit,ashedidsooften,anyway,thathehadn't?Thatwouldbealie.Still,thefinalrulesaid...well,hewasn'tquitereadytothinkaboutthefinalruleonthepage.

Therestrictionofmedicationunnervedhim.Medicationwasalwaysavailabletocitizens,eventochildren,throughtheirparents.Whenhehadcrushedhisfingerinthedoor,hehadquickly,gaspingintothespeaker,notifiedhismother;shehadhastilyrequisitionedrelief-of-painmedicationwhichhadpromptlybeendeliveredtohisdwelling.Almostinstantlytheexcruciatingpaininhishandhaddiminishedtothethrobwhichwas,now,allhecouldrecalloftheexperience.

Re-readingrulenumber6,herealizedthatacrushedfingerfellintothecategoryof''unrelatedtotraining.''Soifiteverhappenedagain—andhewasquitecertainitwouldn't;hehadbeenverycarefulnearheavydoorssincetheaccident!—hecouldstillreceivemedication.

Thepillhetooknow,eachmorning,wasalsounrelatedtotraining.Sohewouldcontinuetoreceivethepill.

ButheremembereduneasilywhattheChiefElderhadsaidaboutthepainthatwouldcomewithhistraining.Shehadcalleditindescribable.

Jonasswallowedhard,tryingwithoutsuccesstoimaginewhatsuchpainmightbelike,withnomedicationatall.Butitwasbeyondhiscomprehension.

Hefeltnoreactiontorulenumber7atall.Ithadneveroccurredtohimthatunderanycircumstances,ever,hemightapplyforrelease.

Finallyhesteeledhimselftoreadthefinalruleagain.Hehadbeentrainedsinceearliestchildhood,sincehisearliestlearningoflanguage,nevertolie.Itwasanintegralpartofthelearningofprecisespeech.Once,whenhehadbeenaFour,hehadsaid,justpriortothemiddaymealatschool,''I'mstarving."

Immediatelyhehadbeentakenasideforabriefprivatelessoninlanguageprecision.Hewasnotstarving,itwaspointedout.Hewashungry.Nooneinthecommunitywasstarving,hadeverbeenstarving,wouldeverbestarving.Tosay''starving''wastospeakalie.Anunintentionedlie,ofcourse.Butthereasonforprecisionoflanguagewastoensurethatunintentionallieswereneveruttered.Didheunderstandthat`theyaskedhim.Andhehad.

Hehadnever,withinhismemory,beentemptedtolie.Asherdidnotlie.Lilydidnotlie.Hisparentsdidnotlie.Noonedid.Unless...

NowJonashadathoughtthathehadneverhadbefore.Thisnewthoughtwasfrightening.Whatifothers—adults—had,uponbecomingTwelves,receivedintheirinstructionsthesameterrifyingsentence?

Whatiftheyhadallbeeninstructed:Youmaylie?

Hismindreeled.Now,empoweredtoaskquestionsofutmostrudeness—andpromisedanswers—hecould,conceivably(thoughitwasalmostunimaginable),asksomeone,someadult,hisfatherperhaps:"Doyoulie?Buthewouldhavenowayofknowingiftheanswerhereceivedweretrue.

10

''Igoinhere,Jonas,"FionatoldhimwhentheyreachedthefrontdooroftheHouseoftheOldafterparkingtheirbicyclesinthedesignatedarea.

"Idon'tknowwhyI'mnervous,"sheconfessed."I'vebeenheresooftenbefore."Sheturnedherfolderoverinherhands.

"Well,everything'sdifferentnow,"Jonasremindedher.

"Eventhenameplatesonourbikes,"Fionalaughed.DuringthenightthenameplateofeachnewTwelvehadbeenremovedbytheMaintenanceCrewandreplacedwiththestylethatindicatedcitizen-in-training.

"Idon'twanttobelate,"shesaidhastily,andstartedupthesteps."Ifwefinishatthesametime,I'llridehomewithyou."

Jonasnodded,wavedtoher,andheadedaroundthebuildingtowardtheAnnex,asmallwingattachedtotheback.Hecertainlydidn'twanttobelateforhisfirstdayoftraining,either.

TheAnnexwasveryordinary,itsdoorunremarkable.Hereachedfortheheavyhandle,thennoticedabuzzeronthewall.Sohebuzzedinstead.

"Yes?"Thevoicecamethroughasmallspeakerabovethebuzzer.

"It's,uh,Jonas.I'mthenew—Imean—"

“Comein.”Aclickindicatedthatthedoorhadbeenunlatched.

ThelobbywasverysmallandcontainedonlyadeskatwhichafemaleAttendantsatworkingonsomepapers.Shelookedupwhenheentered;then,tohissurprise,shestood.Itwasasmallthing,thestanding;butnoonehadeverstoodautomaticallytoacknowledgeJonas'spresencebefore.

"Welcome,ReceiverofMemory,"shesaidrespectfully.

"Oh,please,"hereplieduncomfortably."CallmeJonas."

Shesmiled,pushedabutton,andheheardaclickthatunlockedthedoortoherleft."Youmaygorightonin,"shetoldhim.

Thensheseemedtonoticehisdiscomfortandtorealizeitsorigin.Nodoorsinthecommunitywerelocked,ever.NonethatJonasknewof,anyway.

"ThelocksaresimplytoinsureTheReceiver'sprivacybecauseheneedsconcentration,''sheexplained."Itwouldbedifficultifcitizenswanderedin,lookingfortheDepartmentofBicycleRepair,orsomething."

Jonaslaughed,relaxingalittle.Thewomanseemedveryfriendly,anditwastrue—infactitwasajokethroughoutthecommunity—thattheDepartmentofBicycleRepair,anunimportantlittleoffice,wasrelocatedsooftenthatnooneeverknewwhereitwas.

"Thereisnothingdangeroushere,''shetoldhim."But,''sheadded,glancingatthewallclock,''hedoesn'tliketobekeptwaiting."

Jonashurriedthroughthedoorandfoundhimselfinacomfortablyfurnishedlivingarea.Itwasnotunlikehisownfamilyunit'sdwelling.Furniturewasstandardthroughoutthecommunity:practical,sturdy,thefunctionofeachpiececlearlydefined.Abedforsleeping.Atableforeating.Adeskforstudying.

Allofthosethingswereinthisspaciousroom,thougheachwasslightlydifferentfromthoseinhisowndwelling.Thefabricsontheupholsteredchairsandsofawereslightlythickerandmoreluxurious;thetablelegswerenotstraightlikethoseathome,butslenderandcurved,withasmallcarveddecorationatthefoot.Thebed,inanalcoveatthefarendoftheroom,wasdrapedwithasplendidclothembroideredoveritsentiresurfacewithintricatede-signs.

Butthemostconspicuousdifferencewasthebooks.Inhisowndwelling,therewerethenecessaryreferencevolumesthateachhouseholdcontained:adictionary,andthethickcommunityvolumewhichcontaineddescriptionsofeveryoffice,factory,building,andcommittee.AndtheBookofRules,ofcourse.

ThebooksinhisowndwellingweretheonlybooksthatJonashadeverseen.Hehadneverknownthatotherbooksexisted.

Butthisroom'swallswerecompletelycoveredbybookcases,filled,whichreachedtotheceiling.Theremusthavebeenhundreds—perhapsthousands—ofbooks,theirtitlesembossedinshinyletters.

Jonasstaredatthem.Hecouldn'timaginewhatthethousandsofpagescontained.Couldthereberulesbeyondtherulesthatgovernedthecommunity?Couldtherebemoredescriptionsofofficesandfactoriesandcommittees?

Hehadonlyasecondtolookaroundbecausehewasawarethatthemansittinginachairbesidethetablewaswatchinghim.Hastilyhe

movedforward,stoodbeforetheman,bowedslightly,andsaid,"I'mJonas."

"Iknow.Welcome,ReceiverofMemory."

Jonasrecognizedtheman.HewastheElderwhohadseemedseparatefromtheothersattheCeremony,thoughhewasdressedinthesamespecialclothingthatonlyElderswore.

Jonaslookedself-consciouslyintothepaleeyesthatmirroredhisown.

"Sir,Iapologizeformylackofunderstanding...."

Hewaited,butthemandidnotgivethestandardaccepting-of-apologyresponse.

Afteramoment,Jonaswenton,"ButIthought—ImeanIthink,"hecorrected,remindinghimselfthatifprecisionoflanguagewereevertobeimportant,itwascertainlyimportantnow,inthepresenceofthisman,"thatyouarethereceiverofMemory.I'monly,well,Iwasonlyassigned,Imeanselected,yesterday.I'mnotanythingatall.Notyet."

Themanlookedathimthoughtfully,silently.Itwasalookthatcombinedinterest,curiosity,concern,andperhapsalittlesympathyaswell.

Finallyhespoke."Beginningtoday,thismoment,atleasttome,youareTheReceiver.

"IhavebeenTheReceiverforalongtime.Avery,verylongtime.Youcanseethat,can'tyou?"

Jonasnodded.Themanwaswrinkled,andhiseyes,thoughpiercingintheirunusuallightness,seemedtired.

Theflesharoundthemwasdarkenedintoshadowedcircles.

"Icanseethatyouareveryold,''Jonasrespondedwithrespect.TheOldwerealwaysgiventhehighestrespect.

Themansmiled.Hetouchedthesaggingfleshonhisownfacewithamusement.''Iamnot,actually,asoldasIlook,''hetoldJonas."Thisjobhasagedme.IknowIlookasifIshouldbescheduledforreleaseverysoon.ButactuallyIhaveagooddealoftimeleft.

"Iwaspleased,though,whenyouwereselected.Ittookthemalongtime.Thefailureofthepreviousselectionwastenyearsago,andmyenergyisstartingtodiminish.IneedwhatstrengthIhaveremainingforyourtraining.Wehavehardandpainfulworktodo,youandI.

''Pleasesitdown,"hesaid,andgesturedtowardthenearbychair.Jonasloweredhimselfontothesoftcushionedseat.

Themanclosedhiseyesandcontinuedspeaking."WhenIbecameaTwelve,Iwasselected,asyouwere.Iwasfrightened,asI'msureyouare."HeopenedhiseyesforamomentandpeeredatJonas,whonodded.

Theeyesclosedagain."Icametothisveryroomtobeginmytraining.Itwassuchalongtimeago.

"ThepreviousReceiverseemedjustasoldtomeasIdotoyou.HewasjustastiredasIamtoday."

Hesatforwardsuddenly,openedhiseyes,andsaid,''Youmayaskquestions.Ihavesolittleexperienceinde-scribingthisprocess.Itisforbiddentotalkofit.''

''Iknow,sir.Ihavereadtheinstructions,"Jonassaid.

''SoImayneglecttomakethingsasclearasIshould.''Theman

chuckled.''Myjobisimportantandhasenormoushonor.ButthatdoesnotmeanIamperfect,andwhenItriedbeforetotrainasuccessor,Ifailed.Pleaseaskanyquestionsthatwillhelpyou."

Inhismind,Jonashadquestions.Athousand.Amillionquestions.Asmanyquestionsastherewerebooksliningthewalls.Buthedidnotaskone,notyet.

Themansighed,seemingtoputhisthoughtsinorder.Thenhespokeagain."Simplystated,"hesaid,''althoughit'snotreallysimpleatall,myjobistotransmittoyouallthememoriesIhavewithinme.Memoriesofthepast.''

"Sir,"Jonassaidtentatively,"Iwouldbeveryinterestedtohearthestoryofyourlife,andtolistentoyourmemories.

"Iapologizeforinterrupting,"headdedquickly.

Themanwavedhishandimpatiently."Noapologiesinthisroom.Wehaven'ttime.''

"Well,''Jonaswenton,uncomfortablyawarethathemightbeinterruptingagain,"Iamreallyinterested,Idon'tmeanthatI'mnot.ButIdon'texactlyunderstandwhyit'ssoimportant.Icoulddosomeadultjobinthecommunity,andinmyrecreationtimeIcouldcomeandlistentothestoriesfromyourchildhood.I'dlikethat.Actually,"headded,"I'vedonethatalready,intheHouseoftheOld.TheOldliketotellabouttheirchildhoods,andit'salwaysfuntolisten.''

Themanshookhishead."No,no,"hesaid."I'mnotbeingclear.It'snotmypast,notmychildhoodthatImusttransmittoyou.

Heleanedback,restinghisheadagainstthebackoftheupholsteredchair."It'sthememoriesofthewholeworld,''hesaidwithasigh.''Beforeyou,beforeme,beforethepreviousReceiver,andgenerationsbefore

him.''

Jonasfrowned."Thewholeworld?"heasked.''Idon'tunderstand.Doyoumeannotjustus?Notjustthecommunity?DoyoumeanElsewhere,too?-"Hetried,inhismind,tograsptheconcept.''I'msorry,sir.Idon'tunder-standexactly.MaybeI'mnotsmartenough.Idon'tknowwhatyoumeanwhenyousay'thewholeworld'or'generationsbeforehim.'Ithoughttherewasonlyus.Ithoughttherewasonlynow."

"There'smuchmore.There'sallthatgoesbeyond—allthatisElsewhere—andallthatgoesback,andback,andback.Ireceivedallofthose,whenIwasselected.Andhereinthisroom,allalone,Ire-experiencethemagainandagain.Itishowwisdomcomes.Andhowweshapeourfuture."

Herestedforamoment,breathingdeeply.''Iamsoweightedwiththem,"hesaid.

Jonasfeltaterribleconcernfortheman,suddenly.

"It'sasif..."Themanpaused,seemingtosearchhismindfortherightwordsofdescription.''It'slikegoingdownhillthroughdeepsnowonasled,''hesaid,finally.''Atfirstit'sexhilarating:thespeed;thesharp,clearair;butthenthesnowaccumulates,buildsupontherunners,andyouslow,youhavetopushhardtokeepgoing,and—''

Heshookhisheadsuddenly,andpeeredatJonas."Thatmeantnothingtoyou,didit?"heasked.

Jonaswasconfused.''Ididn'tunderstandit,sir.''

''Ofcourseyoudidn't.Youdon'tknowwhatsnowis,doyou?''

Jonasshookhishead.

"Orasled?Runners?"

''No,sir,''Jonassaid.

"Downhill?Thetermmeansnothingtoyou?''''Nothing,sir."

Well,it'saplacetostart.I'dbeenwonderinghowtobegin.Movetothebed,andliefacedown.Removeyourtunicfirst.''

Jonasdidso,alittleapprehensively.Beneathhisbarechest,hefeltthesoftfoldsofthemagnificentcloththatcoveredthebed.Hewatchedasthemanroseandmovedfirsttothewallwherethespeakerwas.Itwasthesamesortofspeakerthatoccupiedaplaceineverydwelling,butonethingaboutitwasdifferent.Thisonehadaswitch,whichthemandeftlysnappedtotheendthatsaidOFF.

Jonasalmostgaspedaloud.Tohavethepowertoturnthespeakeroff.Itwasanastonishingthing.

Thenthemanmovedwithsurprisingquicknesstothecornerwherethebedwas.HesatonachairbesideJonas,whowasmotionless,waitingforwhatwouldhappennext.

"Closeyoureyes.Relax.Thiswillnotbepainful.''

Jonasrememberedthathewasallowed,thathehadevenbeenencouraged,toaskquestions."Whatareyougoingtodo,sir?''heasked,hopingthathisvoicedidn'tbetrayhisnervousness.

"Iamgoingtotransmitthememoryofsnow,''theoldmansaid,andplacedhishandsonJonas'sbareback.

11

Jonasfeltnothingunusualatfirst.Hefeltonlythelighttouchofthe

oldman'shandsonhisback.

Hetriedtorelax,tobreatheevenly.Theroomwasabsolutelysilent,andforamomentJonasfearedthathemightdisgracehimselfnow,onthefirstdayofhistraining,byfallingasleep.

Thenheshivered.Herealizedthatthetouchofthehandsfelt,suddenly,cold.Atthesameinstant,breathingin,hefelttheairchange,andhisverybreathwascold.Helickedhislips,andindoingso,histonguetouchedthesuddenlychilledair.

Itwasverystartling;buthewasnotatallfrightened,now.Hewasfilledwithenergy,andhebreathedagain,feelingthesharpintakeoffrigidair.Now,too,hecouldfeelcoldairswirlingaroundhisentirebody.Hefeltitblowagainsthishandswheretheylayathissides,andoverhisback.

Thetouchoftheman'shandsseemedtohavedisappeared.

Nowhebecameawareofanentirelynewsensation:pinpricks?No,becausetheyweresoftandwithoutpain.Tiny,cold,featherlikefeelingspepperedhisbodyandface.Heputouthistongueagain,andcaughtoneofthedotsofcolduponit.Itdisappearedfromhisawarenessinstantly;buthecaughtanother,andanother.Thesensationmadehimsmile.

Onepartofhisconsciousnessknewthathewasstilllyingthere,onthebed,intheAnnexroom.Yetanother,separatepartofhisbeingwasuprightnow,inasittingposition,andbeneathhimhecouldfeelthathewasnotonthesoftdecoratedbedcoveringatall,butratherseatedonaflat,hardsurface.Hishandsnowheld(thoughatthesametimetheywerestillmotionlessathissides)arough,damprope.

Andhecouldsee,thoughhiseyeswereclosed.Hecouldseeabright,whirlingtorrentofcrystalsintheairaroundhim,andhecouldseethem

gatheronthebacksofhishands,likecoldfur.

Hisbreathwasvisible.

Beyond,throughtheswirlofwhathenow,somehow,perceivedwasthethingtheoldmanhadspokenof—snow—hecouldlookoutanddownagreatdistance.Hewasuphighsomeplace.Thegroundwasthickwiththefurrysnow,buthesatslightlyaboveitonahard,flatobject.

Sled,heknewabruptly.Hewassittingonathingcalledsled.Andthesleditselfseemedtobepoisedatthetopofalong,extendedmoundthatrosefromtheverylandwherehewas.Evenashethoughttheword''mound,"hisnewconsciousnesstoldhimhill.

Thenthesled,withJonashimselfuponit,begantomovethroughthesnowfall,andheunderstoodinstantlythatnowhewasgoingdownhill.Novoicemadeanexplanation.Theexperienceexplaineditselftohim.

Hisfacecutthroughthefrigidairashebeganthedescent,movingthroughthesubstancecalledsnowonthevehiclecalledsled,whichpropelleditselfonwhathenowknewwithoutdoubttoberunners.

Comprehendingallofthosethingsashespeddown-ward,hewasfreetoenjoythebreathlessgleethatoverwhelmedhim:thespeed,theclearcoldair,thetotalsilence,thefeelingofbalanceandexcitementandpeace.

Then,astheangleofinclinelessened,asthemound—thehill—flattened,nearingthebottom,thesled'sfor-wardmotionslowed.Thesnowwaspilednowaroundit,andhepushedwithhisbody,movingitforward,notwantingtheexhilaratingridetoend.

Finallytheobstructionofthepiledsnowwastoomuchforthethinrunnersofthesled,andhecametoastop.Hesatthereforamoment,panting,holdingtheropeinhiscoldhands.Tentativelyheopenedhis

eyes—nothissnow–hill–sledeyes,fortheyhadbeenopenthroughoutthestrangeride.Heopenedhisordinaryeyes,andsawthathewasstillonthebed,thathehadnotmovedatall.

Theoldman,stillbesidethebed,waswatchinghim.'Howdoyoufee''heasked.

Jonassatupandtriedtoanswerhonestly."Surprised,"hesaid,afteramoment.

Theoldmanwipedhisforeheadwithhissleeve."Whew,"hesaid."Itwasexhausting.Butyouknow,eventransmittingthattinymemorytoyou—Ithinkitlightenedmejustalittle."

"Doyoumean—youdidsayIcouldaskquestions:''Themannodded,encouraginghisquestion.

"Doyoumeanthatnowyoudon'thavethememoryofit—ofthatrideonthesled—anymore?"

"That'sright.Alittleweightoffthisoldbody.''

"Butitwassuchfun!Andnowyoudon'thaveitany-more!Itookitfromyou!"

Buttheoldmanlaughed."AllIgaveyouwasoneride,ononesled,inonesnow,ononehill.Ihaveawholeworldoftheminmymemory.Icouldgivethemtoyouonebyone,athousandtimes,andtherewouldstillbemore."

"AreyousayingthatI—Imeanwe—coulddoitagain?"Jonasasked."I'dreallyliketo.IthinkIcouldsteer,bypullingtherope.Ididn'ttrythistime,becauseitwassonew.

Theoldman,laughing,shookhishead."Maybean-otherday,fora

treat.Butthere'snotime,really,justtoplay.Ionlywantedtobeginbyshowingyouhowitworks.

"Now,"hesaid,turningbusinesslike,''Liebackdown.Iwantto—"

Jonasdid.Hewaseagerforwhateverexperiencewouldcomenext.Buthehad,suddenly,somanyquestions.

"Whydon'twehavesnow,andsleds,andhills."'heasked."Andwhendidwe,inthepast?Didmyparentshavesledswhentheywereyoung?Didyou?"

Theoldmanshruggedandgaveashortlaugh."No,"hetoldJonas."It'saverydistantmemory.That'swhyitwassoexhausting—Ihadtotugitforwardfrommanygenerationsback.ItwasgiventomewhenIwasanewReceiver,andthepreviousReceiverhadtopullitthroughalongtimeperiod,too."

"Butwhathappenedtothosethings?Snow,andtherestofit?"

"ClimateControl.Snowmadegrowingfooddifficult,limitedtheagriculturalperiods.Andunpredictableweathermadetransportationalmostimpossibleattimes.Itwasn'tapracticalthing,soitbecameobsoletewhenwewenttoSameness.

''Andhills,too,''headded.''Theymadeconveyanceofgoodsunwieldy.Trucks;buses.Slowedthemdown.So—''Hewavedhishand,asifagesturehadcausedhillstodisappear.''Sameness,''heconcluded.

Jonasfrowned.''Iwishwehadthosethings,still.Justnowandthen.''

Theoldmansmiled.''SodoI''hesaid.''Butthatchoiceisnotours.''

"Butsir,"Jonassuggested,"sinceyouhavesomuchpower—"

Themancorrectedhim."Honor,"hesaidfirmly."Ihavegreathonor.Sowillyou.Butyouwillfindthatthatisnotthesameaspower.

"Liequietlynow.Sincewe'veenteredintothetopicofclimate,letmegiveyousomethingelse.AndthistimeI'mnotgoingtotellyouthenameofit,becauseIwanttotestthereceiving.Youshouldbeabletoperceivethenamewithoutbeingtold.Igaveawaysnowandsledanddown-hillandrunnersbytellingthemtoyouinadvance.''

Withoutbeinginstructed,Jonasclosedhiseyesagain.Hefeltthehandsonhisbackagain.Hewaited.

Nowitcamemorequickly,thefeelings.Thistimethehandsdidn'tbecomecold,butinsteadbegantofeelwarmonhisbody.Theymoistenedalittle.Thewarmthspread,extendingacrosshisshoulders,uphisneck,ontothesideofhisface.Hecouldfeelitthroughhisclothedparts,too:apleasant,all-oversensation;andwhenhelickedhislipsthistime,theairwashotandheavy.

Hedidn'tmove.Therewasnosled.Hisposturedidn'tchange.Hewassimplyalonesomeplace,outofdoors,lyingdown,andthewarmthcamefromfarabove.Itwasnotasexcitingastheridethroughthesnowyair;butitwaspleasurableandcomforting.

Suddenlyheperceivedthewordforit:sunshine.Heperceivedthatitcamefromthesky.

Thenitended.

"Sunshine,”hesaidaloud,openinghiseyes.

"Good.Youdidgettheword.Thatmakesmyjobeasier.Notsomuchexplaining."

"Anditcamefromthesky."

"That'sright,"theoldmansaid.''Justthewayitusedto.

"BeforeSameness.BeforeClimateControl,"Jonasadded.

Themanlaughed."Youreceivewell,andlearnquickly.I'mverypleasedwithyou.That'senoughfortoday,Ithink.We'reofftoagoodstart."

TherewasaquestionbotheringJonas."Sir,"hesaid,"TheChiefEldertoldme—shetoldeveryone—andyoutoldme,too,thatitwouldbepainful.SoIwasalittlescared.Butitdidn'thurtatall.Ireallyenjoyedit.''Helookedquizzicallyattheoldman.

Themansighed."Istartedyouwithmemoriesofpleasure.Mypreviousfailuregavemethewisdomtodothat.''Hetookafewdeepbreaths."Jonas,"hesaid,"itwillbepainful.Butitneednotbepainfulyet."

"I'mbrave.Ireallyam."Jonassatupalittlestraighter.Theoldmanlookedathimforamoment.Hesmiled."Icanseethat,"hesaid."Well,sinceyouaskedthequestion—IthinkIhaveenoughenergyforonemoretrans-mission.

''Liedownoncemore.Thiswillbethelasttoday.''

Jonasobeyedcheerfully.Heclosedhiseyes,waiting,andfeltthehandsagain;thenhefeltthewarmthagain,thesunshineagain,comingfromtheskyofthisotherconsciousnessthatwassonewtohim.Thistime,ashelaybaskinginthewonderfulwarmth,hefeltthepassageoftime.Hisrealselfwasawarethatitwasonlyaminuteortwo;buthisother,memory-receivingselffelthourspassinthesun.Hisskinbegantosting.Restlesslyhemovedonearm,bendingit,andfeltasharppaininthecreaseofhisinnerarmattheelbow.

"Ouch,''hesaidloudly,andshiftedonthebed."Owwww,"hesaid,

wincingattheshift,andevenmm-inghismouthtospeakmadehisfacehurt.

Heknewtherewasaword,butthepainkepthimfromgraspingit.

Thenitended.Heopenedhiseyes,wincingwithdiscomfort."Ithurt,''hetoldtheman,''andIcouldn'tgetthewordforit."

''Itwassunburn,"theoldmantoldhim.

"Ithurtalot,''Jonassaid,''butI'mgladyougaveittome.Itwasinteresting.AndnowIunderstandbetter,whatitmeant,thattherewouldbepain."

Themandidn'trespond.Hesatsilentlyforasecond.Finallyhesaid,''Getup,now.It'stimeforyoutogohome.''

Theybothwalkedtothecenteroftheroom.Jonasputhistunicbackon."Goodbye,sir,''hesaid.''Thankyouformyfirstday.''

Theoldmannoddedtohim.Helookeddrained,andalittlesad.

"Sir?"Jonassaidshyly.

"Yes?Doyouhaveaquestion?-"

"It'sjustthatIdon'tknowyourname.IthoughtyouwereTheReceiver,butyousaythatnowI’mTheReceiver.SoIdon'tknowwhattocallyou.''

Themanhadsatbackdowninthecomfortableupholsteredchair.Hemovedhisshouldersaroundasiftoeaseawayanachingsensation.Heseemedterriblyweary.

"CallmeTheGiver,''hetoldJonas.

12

"Yousleptsoundly,Jonas?"hismotheraskedatthemorningmeal."Nodreams?"

Jonassimplysmiledandnodded,notreadytolie,notwillingtotellthetruth."Isleptverysoundly,"hesaid.

"Iwishthisonewould,"hisfathersaid,leaningdownfromhischairtotouchGabriel'swavingfist.Thebasketwasonthefloorbesidehim;initscorner,besideGabriel'shead,thestuffedhipposatstaringwithitsblankeyes.

"SodoI,"Mothersaid,rollinghereyes."He'ssofretfulatnight."

Jonashadnotheardthenewchildduringthenightbe-causeasalways,hehadsleptsoundly.Butitwasnottruethathehadnodreams.

Againandagain,asheslept,hehadsliddownthatsnow-coveredhill.Always,inthedream,itseemedasiftherewereadestination:asomething—hecouldnotgraspwhat—thatlaybeyondtheplacewherethethicknessofsnowbroughtthesledtoastop.

Hewasleft,uponawakening,withthefeelingthathewanted,evensomehowneeded,toreachthesomethingthatwaitedinthedistance.Thefeelingthatitwasgood.Thatitwaswelcoming.Thatitwassignificant.

Buthedidnotknowhowtogetthere.

Hetriedtoshedtheleftoverdream,gatheringhisschoolworkandpreparingfortheday.

Schoolseemedalittledifferenttoday.Theclasseswerethesame:languageandcommunications;commerceandindustry;scienceandtechnology;civilproceduresandgovernment.Butduringthebreaksfor

recreationperiodsandthemiddaymeal,theothernewTwelveswereabuzzwithdescriptionsoftheirfirstdayoftraining.Allofthemtalkedatonce,interruptingeachother,hastilymakingtherequiredapologyforinterrupting,thenforgettingagainintheexcitementofdescribingthenewexperiences.

Jonaslistened.Hewasveryawareofhisownadmonitionnottodiscusshistraining.Butitwouldhavebeenimpossible,anyway.TherewasnowaytodescribetohisfriendswhathehadexperiencedthereintheAnnexroom.Howcouldyoudescribeasledwithoutdescribingahillandsnow;andhowcouldyoudescribeahillandsnowtosomeonewhohadneverfeltheightorwindorthatfeathery,magicalcold?

Eventrainedforyearsastheyallhadbeeninprecisionoflanguage,whatwordscouldyouusewhichwouldgiveanothertheexperienceofsunshine?

SoitwaseasyforJonastobestillandtolisten.

AfterschoolhoursherodeagainbesideFionatotheHouseoftheOld.

"Ilookedforyouyesterday,"shetoldhim,"sowecouldridehometogether.Yourbikewasstillthere,andIwaitedforalittlewhile.Butitwasgettinglate,soIwentonhome."

"Iapologizeformakingyouwait,"Jonassaid.

"Iacceptyourapology,"sherepliedautomatically.

"IstayedalittlelongerthanIexpected,"Jonasexplained.

Shepedaledforwardsilently,andheknewthatsheexpectedhimtotellherwhy.Sheexpectedhimtodescribehisfirstdayoftraining.Buttoaskwouldhavefallenintothecategoryofrudeness.

"You'vebeendoingsomanyvolunteerhourswiththeOld,"Jonassaid,changingthesubject."Therewon'tbemuchthatyoudon'talreadyknow."

"Oh,there'slotstolearn,"Fionareplied."There'sadministrativework,andthedietaryrules,andpunishmentfordisobedience—didyouknowthattheyuseadisciplinewandontheOld,thesameasforsmallchildren?Andthere'soccupationaltherapy,andrecreationalactivities,andmedications,and—"

Theyreachedthebuildingandbrakedtheirbikes.

"IreallythinkI'lllikeitbetterthanschool,"Fionaconfessed.

"Metoo,"Jonasagreed,wheelinghisbikeintoitsplace.

Shewaitedforasecond,asif,again,sheexpectedhimtogoon.Thenshelookedatherwatch,waved,andhurriedtowardtheentrance.

Jonasstoodforamomentbesidehisbike,startled.Ithadhappenedagain:thethingthathethoughtofnowas"seeingbeyond."ThistimeithadbeenFionawhohadundergonethatfleetingindescribablechange.Ashelookedupandtowardhergoingthroughthedoor,ithappened;shechanged.Actually,Jonasthought,tryingtore-createitinhismind,itwasn'tFionainherentirety.Itseemedtobejustherhair.Andjustforthatflickeringinstant.

Heranthroughitinhismind.Itwasclearlybeginningtohappenmoreoften.First,theappleafewweeksbefore.ThenexttimehadbeenthefacesintheaudienceattheAuditorium,justtwodaysago.Now,today,Fiona'shair.

Frowning,JonaswalkedtowardtheAnnex.IwillaskTheGiver,hedecided.

Theoldmanlookedup,smiling,whenJonasenteredtheroom.Hewas

alreadyseatedbesidethebed,andheseemedmoreenergetictoday,slightlyrenewed,andgladtoseeJonas.

"Welcome,"hesaid."Wemustgetstarted.You'reoneminutelate."

"Iapologi—"Jonasbegan,andthenstopped,flustered,rememberingthereweretobenoapologies.

Heremovedhistunicandwenttothebed."I'moneminutelatebecausesomethinghappened,"heexplained."AndI'dliketoaskyouaboutit,ifyoudon'tmind."

Youmayaskmeanything."

Jonastriedtosortitoutinhismindsothathecouldexplainitclearly."Ithinkit'swhatyoucallseeing-beyond,"hesaid.

TheGivernodded."Describeit,"hesaid.

Jonastoldhimabouttheexperiencewiththeapple.Thenthemomentonthestage,whenhehadlookedoutandseenthesamephenomenoninthefacesofthecrowd."Thentoday,justnow,outside,ithappenedwithmyfriendFiona.Sheherselfdidn'tchange,exactly.Butsomethingaboutherchangedforasecond.Herhairlookeddifferent;butnotinitsshape,notinitslength.Ican'tquite—"Jonaspaused,frustratedbyhisinabilitytograspanddescribeexactlywhathadoccurred.

Finallyhesimplysaid,"Itchanged.Idon'tknowhow,orwhy.

"That'swhyIwasoneminutelate,"heconcluded,andlookedquestioninglyatTheGiver.

Tohissurprise,theoldmanaskedhimaquestionwhichseemedunrelatedtotheseeing-beyond."WhenIgaveyouthememoryyesterday,thefirstone,therideonthesled,didyoulookaround?"

Jonasnodded."Yes,"hesaid,"butthestuff—Imeanthesnow—intheairmadeithardtoseeanything.""Didyoulookatthesled?"

Jonasthoughtback."No.Ionlyfeltitunderme.Idreamedofitlastnight,too.ButIdon'trememberseeingthesledinmydream,either.Justfeelingit."

TheGiverseemedtobethinking.

"WhenIwasobservingyou,beforetheselection,Iperceivedthatyouprobablyhadthecapacity,andwhatyoudescribeconfirmsthat.Ithappenedsomewhatdifferentlytome,"TheGivertoldhim."WhenIwasjustyourage—abouttobecomethenewReceiver—Ibegantoexperienceit,thoughittookadifferentform.Withmeitwas...well,Iwon'tdescribethatnow;youwouldn'tunder-standityet.

"ButIthinkIcanguesshowit'shappeningwithyou.Letmejustmakealittletest,toconfirmmyguess.Liedown."

Jonaslayonthebedagainwithhishandsathissides.Hefeltcomfortableherenow.HeclosedhiseyesandwaitedforthefamiliarfeelofTheGiver'shandsonhisback.

Butitdidn'tcome.Instead,TheGiverinstructedhim,"Callbackthememoryoftherideonthesled.Justthebe-ginningofit,whereyou'reatthetopofthehill,beforetheslidestarts.Andthistime,lookdownatthesled."

Jonaswaspuzzled.Heopenedhiseyes."Excuseme,"heaskedpolitely,"butdon'tyouhavetogivemethememory?"

"It'syourmemory,now,It'snotminetoexperienceanylonger.Igaveitaway."

"ButhowcanIcallitback?"

"Youcanrememberlastyear,ortheyearthatyouwereaSeven,oraFive,can'tyou?"

"Ofcourse."

"It'smuchthesame.Everyoneinthecommunityhasone-generationmemorieslikethose.Butnowyouwillbeabletogobackfarther.Try.Justconcentrate."

Jonasclosedhiseyesagain.Hetookadeepbreathandsoughtthesledandthehillandthesnowinhisconsciousness.

Theretheywere,withnoeffort.Hewasagainsittinginthatwhirlingworldofsnowflakes,atopthehill.

Jonasgrinnedwithdelight,andblewhisownsteamybreathintoview.Then,ashehadbeeninstructed,helookeddown.Hesawhisownhands,furredagainwithsnow,holdingtherope.Hesawhislegs,andmovedthemasideforaglimpseofthesledbeneath.

Dumbfounded,hestaredatit.Thistimeitwasnotafleetingimpression.Thistimethesledhad—andcontinuedtohave,asheblinked,andstaredatitagain—thatsamemysteriousqualitythattheapplehadhadsobriefly.AndFiona'shair.Thesleddidnotchange.Itsimplywas—whateverthethingwas.

Jonasopenedhiseyesandwasstillonthebed.TheGiverwaswatchinghimcuriously.

"Yes,"Jonassaidslowly."Isawit,inthesled."

"Letmetryonemorething.Lookoverthere,tothebookcase.Doyouseetheverytoprowofbooks,theonesbehindthetable,onthetopshelf?"

Jonassoughtthemwithhiseyes.Hestaredatthem,andtheychanged.Butthechangewasfleeting.Itslippedawaythenextinstant.

"Ithappened,"Jonassaid."Ithappenedtothebooks,butitwentawayagain."

"I'mright,then,"TheGiversaid."You'rebeginningtoseethecolorred."

"Thewhat?"

TheGiversighed."Howtoexplainthis?Once,backinthetimeofthememories,everythinghadashapeandsize,thewaythingsstilldo,buttheyalsohadaqualitycalledcolor.

"Therewerealotofcolors,andoneofthemwascalledred.That'stheoneyouarestartingtosee.YourfriendFionahasredhair—quitedistinctive,actually;I'venoticeditbefore.WhenyoumentionedFiona'shair,itwasthecluethattoldmeyouwereprobablybeginningtoseethecolorred."

"Andthefacesofpeople?TheonesIsawattheCeremony?"

TheGivershookhishead."No,fleshisn'tred.Butithasredtonesinit.Therewasatime,actually—you'llseethisinthememorieslater—whenfleshwasmanydifferentcolors.ThatwasbeforewewenttoSameness.Todayfleshisallthesame,andwhatyousawwastheredtones.

Probablywhenyousawthefacestakeoncoloritwasn'tasdeeporvibrantastheapple,oryourfriend'shair."

TheGiverchuckled,suddenly."We'venevercompletelymasteredSameness.Isupposethegeneticscientistsarestillhardatworktryingtoworkthekinksout.HairlikeFiona'smustdrivethemcrazy."

Jonaslistened,tryinghardtocomprehend."Andthesled?"hesaid."Ithadthatsamething:thecolorred.Butitdidn'tchange,Giver.Itjustwas."

"Becauseit'samemoryfromthetimewhencolorwas.""Itwasso—oh,Iwishlanguageweremoreprecise!Theredwassobeautiful!"

TheGivernodded."Itis."

"Doyouseeitallthetime?"

"Iseeallofthem.Allthecolors."

"WillI?"

"Ofcourse.Whenyoureceivethememories.Youhavethecapacitytoseebeyond.You'llgainwisdom,then,alongwithcolors.Andlotsmore."

Jonaswasn'tinterested,justthen,inwisdom.Itwasthecolorsthatfascinatedhim."Whycan'teveryoneseethem?Whydidcolorsdisappear?"

TheGivershrugged."Ourpeoplemadethatchoice,thechoicetogotoSameness.Beforemytime,beforetheprevioustime,backandbackandback.Werelinquishedcolorwhenwerelinquishedsunshineanddidawaywithdifferences."Hethoughtforamoment."Wegainedcontrolofmanythings.Butwehadtoletgoofothers."

"Weshouldn'thave!"Jonassaidfiercely.

TheGiverlookedstartledatthecertaintyofJonas'sre-action.Thenhesmiledwryly."You'vecomeveryquickly

tothatconclusion,"hesaid."Ittookmemanyyears.Maybeyour

wisdomwillcomemuchmorequicklythanmine."

Heglancedatthewallclock."Liebackdown,now.Wehavesomuchtodo."

"Giver,"Jonasaskedashearrangedhimselfagainonthebed,"howdidithappentoyouwhenyouwerebe-comingTheReceiver?Yousaidthattheseeing-beyondhappenedtoyou,butnotthesameway."

Thehandscametohisback."Anotherday,"TheGiversaidgently."I'lltellyouanotherday.Nowwemustwork.AndI'vethoughtofawaytohelpyouwiththeconceptofcolor.

"Closeyoureyesandbestill,now.I'mgoingtogiveyouamemoryofarainbow."

13

Dayswentby,andweeks.Jonaslearned,throughthememories,thenamesofcolors;andnowhebegantoseethemall,inhisordinarylife(thoughheknewitwasordinarynolonger,andwouldneverbeagain).Buttheydidn'tlast.Therewouldbeaglimpseofgreen—thelandscapedlawnaroundtheCentralPlaza;abushontheriverbank.Thebrightorangeofpumpkinsbeingtruckedinfromtheagriculturalfieldsbeyondthecommunityboundary—seeninaninstant,theflashofbrilliantcolor,butgoneagain,returningtotheirflatandhuelessshade.

TheGivertoldhimthatitwouldbeaverylongtimebeforehehadthecolorstokeep.

"ButIwantthem!"Jonassaidangrily."Itisn'tfairthatnothinghascolor!"

"Notfair?"TheGiverlookedatJonascuriously."Ex-plainwhatyoumean."

"Well...”Jonashadtostopandthinkitthrough."Ifeverything'sthesame,thentherearen'tanychoices!Iwanttowakeupinthemorninganddecidethings!Abluetunic,oraredone?"

Helookeddownathimself,atthecolorlessfabricofhisclothing."Butit'sallthesame,always."

Thenhelaughedalittle."Iknowit'snotimportant,whatyouwear.Itdoesn'tmatter.But—

"It'sthechoosingthat'simportant,isn'tit?"TheGiveraskedhim.

Jonasnodded."Mylittlebrother—"hebegan,andthencorrectedhimself."No,that'sinaccurate.He'snotmybrother,notreally.Butthisnewchildthatmyfamilytakescareof—hisname'sGabriel?"

"Yes,IknowaboutGabriel."

"Well,he'srightattheagewherehe'slearningsomuch.Hegrabstoyswhenweholdtheminfrontofhim—myfathersayshe'slearningsmall-musclecontrol.Andhe'sreallycute."

TheGivernodded.

"ButnowthatIcanseecolors,atleastsometimes,Iwasjustthinking:whatifwecouldholdupthingsthatwerebrightred,orbrightyellow,andhecouldchoose?InsteadoftheSameness."

"Hemightmakewrongchoices."

"Oh."Jonaswassilentforaminute."Oh,Iseewhatyoumean.Itwouldn'tmatterforanewchild'stoy.Butlateritdoesmatter,doesn'tit?Wedon'tdaretoletpeoplemakechoicesoftheirown."

"Notsafe?"TheGiversuggested.

"Definitelynotsafe,"Jonassaidwithcertainty."Whatiftheywereallowedtochoosetheirownmate?Andchosewrong?

"Orwhatif,"hewenton,almostlaughingattheabsurdity,"theychosetheirownjobs?"

"Frightening,isn'tit?"TheGiversaid.

Jonaschuckled."Veryfrightening.Ican'tevenimagineit.Wereallyhavetoprotectpeoplefromwrongchoices."

"It'ssafer."

"Yes,"Jonasagreed."Muchsafer."

Butwhentheconversationturnedtootherthings,Jonaswasleft,still,withafeelingoffrustrationthathedidn'tunderstand.

Hefoundthathewasoftenangry,now:irrationallyangryathisgroupmates,thattheyweresatisfiedwiththeirliveswhichhadnoneofthevibrancehisownwastakingon.Andhewasangryathimself,thathecouldnotchangethatforthem.

Hetried.WithoutaskingpermissionfromTheGiver,becausehefeared—orknew—thatitwouldbedenied,hetriedtogivehisnewawarenesstohisfriends.

"Asher,"Jonassaidonemorning,"lookatthoseflowersverycarefully."TheywerestandingbesideabedofgeraniumsplantedneartheHallofOpenRecords.HeputhishandsonAsher'sshoulders,andconcentratedontheredofthepetals,tryingtoholditaslongashecould,andtryingatthesametimetotransmittheawarenessofredtohisfriend.

"What'sthematter?"Asheraskeduneasily."Issome-thingwrong?"HemovedawayfromJonas'shands.Itwasextremelyrudeforonecitizento

touchanotheroutsideoffamilyunits.

"No,nothing.Ithoughtforaminutethattheywerewilting,andweshouldlettheGardeningCrewknowtheyneededmorewatering."Jonassighed,andturnedaway.

Oneeveninghecamehomefromhistrainingweightedwithnewknowledge.TheGiverhadchosenastartlinganddisturbingmemorythatday.Underthetouchofhishands,Jonashadfoundhimselfsuddenlyinaplacethatwascompletelyalien:hotandwindsweptunderavast

bluesky.Thereweretuftsofsparsegrass,afewbushesandrocks,andnearbyhecouldseeanareaofthickervegetation:broad,lowtreesoutlinedagainstthesky.Hecouldhearnoises:thesharpcrackofweapons—heperceivedthewordguns—andthenshouts,andanimmensecrashingthudassomethingfell,tearingbranchesfromthetrees.

Heheardvoicescallingtooneanother.Peeringfromtheplacewherehestoodhiddenbehindsomeshrubbery,hewasremindedofwhatTheGiverhadtoldhim,thattherehadbeenatimewhenfleshhaddifferentcolors.Twoofthesemenhaddarkbrownskin;theotherswerelight.Goingcloser,hewatchedthemhackthetusksfromamotionlesselephantonthegroundandhaulthemaway,spatteredwithblood.Hefelthimselfoverwhelmedwithanewperceptionofthecolorheknewasred.

Thenthemenweregone,speedingtowardthehorizoninavehiclethatspitpebblesfromitswhirlingtires.Onehithisforeheadandstunghimthere.Butthememorycontinued,thoughJonasachednowforittoend.

Nowhesawanotherelephantemergefromtheplacewhereithadstoodhiddeninthetrees.Veryslowlyitwalkedtothemutilatedbodyandlookeddown.Withitssinuoustrunkitstrokedthehugecorpse;thenitreachedup,brokesomeleafybrancheswithasnap,anddrapedthemoverthemassoftornthickflesh.

Finallyittilteditsmassivehead,raiseditstrunk,androaredintotheemptylandscape.Jonashadneverheardsuchasound.Itwasasoundofrageandgriefanditseemednevertoend.

Hecouldstillhearitwhenheopenedhiseyesandlayanguishedonthebedwherehereceivedthememories.Itcontinuedtoroarintohisconsciousnessashepedaledslowlyhome.

"Lily,"heaskedthateveningwhenhissistertookhercomfortobject,thestuffedelephant,fromtheshelf,"didyouknowthatoncetherereallywereelephants?Liveones?"

Sheglanceddownattheraggedcomfortobjectandgrinned."Right,"shesaid,skeptically."Sure,Jonas."

JonaswentandsatbesidethemwhilehisfatheruntiedLily'shairribbonsandcombedherhair.Heplacedonehandoneachoftheirshoulders.Withallofhisbeinghetriedtogiveeachofthemapieceofthememory:notofthetorturedcryoftheelephant,butofthebeingoftheelephant,ofthetowering,immensecreatureandthemeticuloustouchwithwhichithadtendeditsfriendattheend.

ButhisfatherhadcontinuedtocombLily'slonghair,andLily,impatient,hadfinallywiggledunderherbrother'stouch."Jonas,"shesaid,"you'rehurtingmewithyourhand."

"Iapologizeforhurtingyou,Lily,"Jonasmumbled,andtookhishandaway.

"'Cceptyourapology,"Lilyrespondedindifferently,strokingthelifelesselephant.

"Giver,"Jonasaskedonce,astheypreparedfortheday'swork,"don'tyouhaveaspouse?Aren'tyouallowedtoapplyforone?"Althoughhewasexemptedfromtherulesagainstrudeness,hewasawarethatthiswas

arudequestion.ButTheGiverhadencouragedallofhisquestions,notseemingtobeembarrassedoroffendedbyeventhemostpersonal.

TheGiverchuckled."No,there'snoruleagainstit.AndIdidhaveaspouse.You'reforgettinghowoldIam,Jonas.MyformerspouselivesnowwiththeChildlessAdults."

"Oh,ofcourse."JonashadforgottenTheGiver'sobviousage.Whenadultsofthecommunitybecameolder,theirlivesbecamedifferent.Theywerenolongerneededtocreatefamilyunits.Jonas'sownparents,whenheandLilyweregrown,wouldgotolivewiththeChildlessAdults.

"You'llbeabletoapplyforaspouse,Jonas,ifyouwantto.I'llwarnyou,though,thatitwillbedifficult.Yourlivingarrangementswillhavetobedifferentfromthoseofmostfamilyunits,becausethebooksareforbiddentocitizens.YouandIaretheonlyoneswithaccesstothebooks."

Jonasglancedaroundattheastonishingarrayofvolumes.Fromtimetotime,now,hecouldseetheircolors.Withtheirhourstogether,hisandTheGiver's,consumedbyconversationandbythetransmissionofmemories,Jonashadnotyetopenedanyofthebooks.Buthereadthetitleshereandthere,andknewthattheycontainedalloftheknowledgeofcenturies,andthatonedaytheywouldbelongtohim.

"SoifIhaveaspouse,andmaybechildren,Iwillhavetohidethebooksfromthem?"

TheGivernodded."Iwasn'tpermittedtosharethebookswithmyspouse,that'scorrect.Andthereareotherdifficulties,too.YouremembertherulethatsaysthenewReceivercan'ttalkabouthistraining?"

Jonasnodded.Ofcourseheremembered.Ithadturnedout,byfar,tobethemostfrustratingoftheruleshewasrequiredtoobey.

"WhenyoubecometheofficialReceiver,whenwe'refinishedhere,you'llbegivenawholenewsetofrules.ThosearetherulesthatIobey.Anditwon'tsurpriseyouthatIamforbiddentotalkaboutmyworktoanyoneexceptthenewReceiver.That'syou,ofcourse.

"Sotherewillbeawholepartofyourlifewhichyouwon'tbeabletosharewithafamily.It'shard,Jonas.Itwashardforme.

"Youdounderstand,don'tyou,thatthisismylife?Thememories?"

Jonasnoddedagain,buthewaspuzzled.Didn'tlifeconsistofthethingsyoudideachday?Therewasn'tany-thingelse,really."I'veseenyoutakingwalks,"hesaid.

TheGiversighed."Iwalk.Ieatatmealtime.AndwhenIamcalledbytheCommitteeofElders,Iappearbeforethem,togivethemcounselandadvice."

"Doyouadvisethemoften?"Jonaswasalittlefrightenedatthethoughtthatonedayhewouldbetheonetoadvisetherulingbody.

ButTheGiversaidno."Rarely.Onlywhentheyarefacedwithsomethingthattheyhavenotexperiencedbe-fore.Thentheycalluponmetousethememoriesandad-visethem.Butitveryseldomhappens.SometimesIwishthey'daskformywisdommoreoften—therearesomanythingsIcouldtellthem;thingsIwishtheywouldchange.Buttheydon'twantchange.Lifehereissoorderly,sopredictable—sopainless.It'swhatthey'vechosen.

"Idon'tknowwhytheyevenneedaReceiver,then,iftheynevercalluponhim,"Jonascommented.

"Theyneedme.Andyou,"TheGiversaid,butdidn'texplain."Theywereremindedofthattenyearsago."

"Whathappenedtenyearsago?"Jonasasked."Oh,Iknow.Youtriedtotrainasuccessoranditfailed.Why?Whydidthatremindthem?"

TheGiversmiledgrimly."WhenthenewReceiverfailed,thememoriesthatshehadreceivedwerereleased.Theydidn'tcomebacktome.Theywent..."

Hepaused,andseemedtobestrugglingwiththeconcept."Idon'tknow,exactly.TheywenttotheplacewherememoriesonceexistedbeforeReceiverswerecreated.Someplaceoutthere—"Hegesturedvaguelywithhisarm."Andthenthepeoplehadaccesstothem.Apparentlythat'sthewayitwas,once.Everyonehadaccesstomemories.

"Itwaschaos,"hesaid."Theyreallysufferedforawhile.Finallyitsubsidedasthememorieswereassimilated.ButitcertainlymadethemawareofhowtheyneedaReceivertocontainallthatpain.Andknowledge."

"Butyouhavetosufferlikethatallthetime,"Jonaspointedout.

TheGivernodded."Andyouwill.It'smylife.Itwillbeyours."

Jonasthoughtaboutit,aboutwhatitwouldbelikeforhim."Alongwithwalkingandeatingand—"Helookedaroundthewallsofbooks."Reading?That'sit?"

TheGivershookhishead."ThosearesimplythethingsthatIdo,Mylifeishere."

"Inthisroom?"

TheGivershookhishead.Heputhishandstohisownface,tohischest."No.Here,inmybeing.Wherethememoriesare."

"MyInstructorsinscienceandtechnologyhavetaughtusabout

howthebrainworks,"Jonastoldhimeagerly."It'sfullofelectricalimpulses.It'slikeacomputer.Ifyoustimulateonepartofthebrainwithanelectrode,it—"Hestoppedtalking.HecouldseeanoddlookonTheGiver'sface.

"Theyknownothing,"TheGiversaidbitterly.

Jonaswasshocked.SincethefirstdayintheAnnexroom,theyhadtogetherdisregardedtherulesaboutrudeness,andJonasfeltcomfortablewiththatnow.Butthiswasdifferent,andfarbeyondrude.Thiswasaterribleaccusation.Whatifsomeonehadheard?

Heglancedquicklyatthewallspeaker,terrifiedthattheCommitteemightbelisteningastheycouldatanytime.But,asalwaysduringtheirsessionstogether,theswitchhadbeenturnedtoOFF.

"Nothing?"Jonaswhisperednervously."Butmyinstructors—"

TheGiverflickedhishandasifbrushingsomethingaside."Oh,yourinstructorsarewelltrained.Theyknowtheirscientificfacts.Everyoneiswelltrainedforhisjob.

"It'sjustthat...withoutthememoriesit'sallmeaningless.Theygavethatburdentome.AndtothepreviousReceiver.Andtheonebeforehim."

"Andbackandbackandback,"Jonassaid,knowingthephrasethatalwayscame.

TheGiversmiled,thoughhissmilewasoddlyharsh."That'sright.Andnextitwillbeyou.Agreathonor."

"Yes,sir.TheytoldmethatattheCeremony.Theveryhighesthonor."

SomeafternoonsTheGiversenthimawaywithouttraining.Jonas

knew,ondayswhenhearrivedtofindThe

Giverhunchedover,rockinghisbodyslightlybackandforth,hisfacepale,thathewouldbesentaway.

"Go,"TheGiverwouldtellhimtensely."I'minpaintoday.Comebacktomorrow."

Onthosedays,worriedanddisappointed,Jonaswouldwalkalonebesidetheriver.ThepathswereemptyofpeopleexceptforthefewDeliveryCrewsandLandscapeWorkershereandthere.SmallchildrenwereallattheChildcareCenterafterschool,andtheolderonesbusywithvolunteerhoursortraining.

Byhimself,hetestedhisowndevelopingmemory.Hewatchedthelandscapeforglimpsesofthegreenthatheknewwasembeddedintheshrubbery;whenitcameflickeringintohisconsciousness,hefocuseduponit,keepingitthere,darkeningit,holdingitinhisvisionaslongaspossibleuntilhisheadhurtandheletitfadeaway.

Hestaredattheflat,colorlesssky,bringingbluefromit,andrememberedsunshineuntilfinally,foraninstant,hecouldfeelwarmth.

Hestoodatthefootofthebridgethatspannedtheriver,thebridgethatcitizenswereallowedtocrossonlyonofficialbusiness.Jonashadcrosseditonschooltrips,visitingtheoutlyingcommunities,andheknewthatthelandbeyondthebridgewasmuchthesame,flatandwellordered,withfieldsforagriculture.Theothercommunitieshehadseenonvisitswereessentiallythesameashisown,theonlydifferenceswereslightlyalteredstylesofdwellings,slightlydifferentschedulesintheschools.

Hewonderedwhatlayinthefardistancewherehehadnevergone.The

landdidn'tendbeyondthosenearbycommunities.WeretherehillsElsewhere?Weretherevastwind-tornareasliketheplacehehadseeninmemory,theplacewheretheelephantdied?

"Giver,"heaskedoneafternoonfollowingadaywhenhehadbeensentaway,"whatcausesyoupain?"

WhenTheGiverwassilent,Jonascontinued."TheChiefEldertoldme,atthebeginning,thatthereceivingofmemorycausesterriblepain.AndyoudescribedformethatthefailureofthelastnewReceiverreleasedpainfulmemoriestothecommunity.

"ButIhaven'tsuffered,Giver.Notreally."Jonassmiled."Oh,Irememberthesunburnyougavemeontheveryfirstday.Butthatwasn'tsoterrible.Whatisitthatmakesyousuffersomuch?Ifyougavesomeofittome,maybeyourpainwouldbeless."

TheGivernodded."Liedown,"hesaid."It'stime,Isuppose.Ican'tshieldyouforever.You'llhavetotakeitalloneventually.

"Letmethink,"hewenton,whenJonaswasonthebed,waiting,alittlefearful.

"Allright,"TheGiversaidafteramoment,"I'vedecided.We'llstartwithsomethingfamiliar.Let'sgoonceagaintoahill,andasled."

HeplacedhishandsonJonas'sback.

14

Itwasmuchthesame,thismemory,thoughthehillseemedtobeadifferentone,steeper,andthesnowwasnotfallingasthicklyasithadbefore.

Itwascolder,also,Jonasperceived.Hecouldsee,ashesatwaitingat

thetopofthehill,thatthesnowbeneaththesledwasnotthickandsoftasithadbeenbefore,buthard,andcoatedwithbluishice.

Thesledmovedforward,andJonasgrinnedwithde-light,lookingforwardtothebreathtakingslidedownthroughtheinvigoratingair.

Buttherunners,thistime,couldn'tslicethroughthefrozenexpanseastheyhadontheother,snow-cushionedhill.Theyskitteredsidewaysandthesledgatheredspeed.Jonaspulledattherope,tryingtosteer,butthesteepnessandspeedtookcontrolfromhishandsandhewasnolongerenjoyingthefeelingoffreedombutinstead,terrified,wasatthemercyofthewildaccelerationdownwardovertheice.

Sideways,spinning,thesledhitabumpinthehillandJonaswasjarredlooseandthrownviolentlyintotheair.Hefellwithhislegtwistedunderhim,andcouldhearthecrackofbone.Hisfacescrapedalongjaggededgesoficeandwhenhecame,atlast,toastop,helayshockedandstill,feelingnothingatfirstbutfear.

Then,thefirstwaveofpain.Hegasped.Itwasasifahatchetlaylodgedinhisleg,slicingthrougheachnervewithahotblade.Inhisagonyheperceivedtheword"fire"andfeltflameslickingatthetornboneandflesh.Hetriedtomove,andcouldnot.Thepaingrew.

Hescreamed.Therewasnoanswer.

Sobbing,heturnedhisheadandvomitedontothefrozensnow.Blooddrippedfromhisfaceintothevomit.

"NOOOOO!"hecried,andthesounddisappearedintotheemptylandscape,intothewind.

Then,suddenly,hewasintheAnnexroomagain,writhingonthebed.Hisfacewaswetwithtears.

Abletomovenow,herockedhisownbodybackandforth,breathingdeeplytoreleasetherememberedpain.

Hesat,andlookedathisownleg,whereitlaystraightonthebed,unbroken.Thebrutalsliceofpainwasgone.Butthelegachedhorribly,still,andhisfacefeltraw.

"MayIhaverelief-of-pain,please?"hebegged.Itwasalwaysprovidedinhiseverydaylifeforthebruisesandwounds,foramashedfinger,astomachache,askinnedkneefromafallfromabike.Therewasalwaysadaubofanestheticointment,orapill;orinsevereinstances,aninjectionthatbroughtcompleteandinstantaneousdeliverance.

ButTheGiversaidno,andlookedaway.

Limping,Jonaswalkedhome,pushinghisbicycle,thatevening.Thesunburnpainhadbeensosmall,incomparison,andhadnotstayedwithhim.Butthisachelingered.

Itwasnotunendurable,asthepainonthehillhadbeen.Jonastriedtobebrave.HerememberedthattheChiefElderhadsaidhewasbrave.

"Issomethingwrong,Jonas?"hisfatheraskedattheeveningmeal."You'resoquiettonight.Aren'tyoufeelingwell?Wouldyoulikesomemedication?"

ButJonasrememberedtherules.Nomedicationforanythingrelatedtohistraining.

Andnodiscussionofhistraining.Atthetimeforsharing-of-feelings,hesimplysaidthathefelttired,thathisschoollessonshadbeenunusuallydemandingthatday.

Hewenttohissleepingroomearly,andfrombehindthecloseddoorhecouldhearhisparentsandsisterlaughingastheygaveGabrielhis

eveningbath.

Theyhaveneverknownpain,hethought.Therealizationmadehimfeeldesperatelylonely,andherubbedhisthrobbingleg.Heeventuallyslept.Againandagainhedreamedoftheanguishandtheisolationontheforsakenhill.

Thedailytrainingcontinued,andnowitalwaysincludedpain.TheagonyofthefracturedlegbegantoseemnomorethanamilddiscomfortasTheGiverledJonasfirmly,littlebylittle,intothedeepandterriblesufferingofthepast.Eachtime,inhiskindness,TheGiverendedtheafternoonwithacolor-filledmemoryofpleasure:abrisksailonablue-greenlake;ameadowdottedwithyellowwildflowers;anorangesunsetbehindmountains.

ItwasnotenoughtoassuagethepainthatJonaswasbeginning,now,toknow.

"Why?"Jonasaskedhimafterhehadreceivedatorturousmemoryinwhichhehadbeenneglectedandunfed;thehungerhadcausedexcruciatingspasmsinhisempty,distendedstomach.Helayonthebed,aching."WhydoyouandIhavetoholdthesememories?"

"Itgivesuswisdom,"TheGiverreplied."WithoutwisdomIcouldnotfulfillmyfunctionofadvisingtheCommitteeofElderswhentheycalluponme."

"Butwhatwisdomdoyougetfromhunger?"Jonasgroaned.Hisstomachstillhurt,thoughthememoryhadended.

"Someyearsago,"TheGivertoldhim,"beforeyourbirth,alotofcitizenspetitionedtheCommitteeofElders.Theywantedtoincreasetherateofbirths.TheywantedeachBirthmothertobeassignedfourbirthsinsteadofthree,sothatthepopulationwouldincreaseandtherewouldbe

moreLaborersavailable."

Jonasnodded,listening."Thatmakessense."

"Theideawasthatcertainfamilyunitscouldaccommodateanadditionalchild."

Jonasnoddedagain."Minecould,"hepointedout."WehaveGabrielthisyear,andit'sfun,havingathirdchild."

"TheCommitteeofElderssoughtmyadvice,"TheGiversaid."Itmadesensetothem,too,butitwasanewidea,andtheycametomeforwisdom."

"Andyouusedyourmemories?"

TheGiversaidyes."Andthestrongestmemorythatcamewashunger.Itcamefrommanygenerationsback.Centuriesback.Thepopulationhadgottensobigthathungerwaseverywhere.Excruciatinghungerandstarvation.Itwasfollowedbywarfare."

Warfare?ItwasaconceptJonasdidnotknow.Buthungerwasfamiliartohimnow.Unconsciouslyherubbedhisownabdomen,recallingthepainofitsunfulfilledneeds."Soyoudescribedthattothem?"

"Theydon'twanttohearaboutpain.Theyjustseektheadvice.Isimplyadvisedthemagainstincreasingthepopulation."

"Butyousaidthatthatwasbeforemybirth.Theyhardlyevercometoyouforadvice.Onlywhenthey—whatwasityousaid?Whentheyhaveaproblemthey'veneverfacedbefore.Whendidithappenlast?"

"Doyourememberthedaywhentheplaneflewoverthecommunity?"

"Yes.Iwasscared."

"Sowerethey.Theypreparedtoshootitdown.Buttheysoughtmyadvice.Itoldthemtowait."

"Buthowdidyouknow?Howdidyouknowthepilotwaslost?"

"Ididn't.Iusedmywisdom,fromthememories.Iknewthattherehadbeentimesinthepast—terribletimes—whenpeoplehaddestroyedothersinhaste,infear,andhadbroughtabouttheirowndestruction."

Jonasrealizedsomething."Thatmeans,"hesaidslowly,"thatyouhavememoriesofdestruction.Andyouhavetogivethemtome,too,becauseIhavetogetthewisdom."

TheGivernodded.

"Butitwillhurt,"Jonassaid.Itwasn'taquestion."Itwillhurtterribly,"TheGiveragreed.

"Butwhycan'teveryonehavethememories?Ithinkitwouldseemalittleeasierifthememorieswereshared.YouandIwouldn'thavetobearsomuchbyourselves,ifeverybodytookapart."

TheGiversighed."You'reright,"hesaid."Buttheneveryonewouldbeburdenedandpained.Theydon'twantthat.Andthat'stherealreasonTheReceiverissovitaltothem,andsohonored.Theyselectedme—andyou—toliftthatburdenfromthemselves."

"Whendidtheydecidethat?"Jonasaskedangrily."Itwasn'tfair.Let'schangeit!"

"Howdoyousuggestwedothat?I'veneverbeenabletothinkofaway,andI'msupposedtobetheonewithallthewisdom."

"Buttherearetwoofusnow,"Jonassaideagerly."Togetherwecanthinkofsomething!"

TheGiverwatchedhimwithawrysmile.

"Whycan'twejustapplyforachangeofrules?"Jonassuggested.

TheGiverlaughed;thenJonas,too,chuckledreluctantly.

"Thedecisionwasmadelongbeforemytimeoryours,"TheGiversaid,"andbeforethepreviousReceiver,and—"Hewaited.

"Backandbackandback."Jonasrepeatedthefamiliarphrase.Sometimesithadseemedhumoroustohim.Sometimesithadseemedmeaningfulandimportant.

Nowitwasominous.Itmeant,heknew,thatnothingcouldbechanged.

Thenewchild,Gabriel,wasgrowing,andsuccessfullypassedthetestsofmaturitythattheNurturersgaveeachmonth;hecouldsitalone,now,couldreachforandgraspsmallplayobjects,andhehadsixteeth.Duringtheday-timehours,Fatherreported,hewascheerfulandseemed

ofnormalintelligence.Butheremainedfretfulatnight,whimperingoften,needingfrequentattention.

"AfterallthisextratimeI'veputinwithhim,"FathersaidoneeveningafterGabrielhadbeenbathedandwaslying,forthemoment,hugginghishippoplacidlyinthesmallcribthathadreplacedthebasket,"Ihopethey'renotgoingtodecidetoreleasehim."

"Maybeitwouldbeforthebest,"Mothersuggested."Iknowyoudon'tmindgettingupwithhimatnight.Butthelackofsleepisawfullyhardforme."

"IftheyreleaseGabriel,canwegetanothernewchildasavisitor?"askedLily.Shewaskneelingbesidethecrib,makingfunnyfacesatthelittleone,whowassmilingbackather.

Jonas'smotherrolledhereyesindismay.

"No,"Fathersaid,smiling.HeruffledLily'shair."It'sveryrare,anyway,thatanewchild'sstatusisasuncertainasGabriel's.Itprobablywon'thappenagain,foralongtime.

"Anyway,"hesighed,"theywon'tmakethedecisionforawhile.Rightnowwe'reallpreparingforareleasewe'llprobablyhavetomakeverysoon.There'saBirth-motherwho'sexpectingtwinmalesnextmonth."

"Oh,dear,"Mothersaid,shakingherhead."Ifthey'reidentical,Ihopeyou'renottheoneassigned—"

"Iam.I'mnextonthelist.I'llhavetoselecttheonetobenurtured,andtheonetobereleased.It'susuallynothard,though.Usuallyit'sjustamatterofbirthweight.Wereleasethesmallerofthetwo."

Jonas,listening,thoughtsuddenlyaboutthebridgeandhow,standingthere,hehadwonderedwhatlayElsewhere.

Wastheresomeonethere,waiting,whowouldreceivethetinyreleasedtwin?WoulditgrowupElsewhere,notknowing,ever,thatinthiscommunitylivedabeingwholookedexactlythesame?

Foramomenthefeltatiny,flutteringhopethatheknewwasquitefoolish.HehopedthatitwouldbeLarissa,waiting.Larissa,theoldwomanhehadbathed.Herememberedhersparklingeyes,hersoftvoice,herlowchuckle.FionahadtoldhimrecentlythatLarissahadbeenreleasedatawonderfulceremony.

ButheknewthattheOldwerenotgivenchildrentoraise.Larissa'slife

ElsewherewouldbequietandsereneasbefittheOld;shewouldnotwelcometheresponsibilityofnurturinganewchildwhoneededfeedingandcare,andwouldlikelycryatnight.

"Mother?Father?"hesaid,theideacomingtohimunexpectedly,"whydon'tweputGabriel'scribinmyroomtonight?Iknowhowtofeedandcomforthim,anditwouldletyouandFathergetsomesleep."

Fatherlookeddoubtful."Yousleepsosoundly,Jonas.Whatifhisrestlessnessdidn'twakeyou?"

ItwasLilywhoansweredthat."IfnoonegoestotendGabriel,"shepointedout,"hegetsveryloud.He'dwakeallofus,ifJonassleptthroughit."

Fatherlaughed."You'reright,Lily-billy.Allright,Jonas,let'stryit,justfortonight.I'lltakethenightoffandwe'llletMothergetsomesleep,too."

Gabrielsleptsoundlyfortheearliestpartofthenight.Jonas,inhisbed,layawakeforawhile;fromtimetotimeheraisedhimselfononeelbow,lookingoveratthecrib.

Thenewchildwasonhisstomach,hisarmsrelaxedbesidehishead,hiseyesclosed,andhisbreathingregularandundisturbed.FinallyJonasslepttoo.

Then,asthemiddlehoursofthenightapproached,thenoiseofGabe'srestlessnesswokeJonas.Thenewchildwasturningunderhiscover,flailinghisarms,andbeginningtowhimper.

Jonasroseandwenttohim.GentlyhepattedGabriel'sback.Sometimesthatwasallittooktolullhimbacktosleep.Butthenewchildstillsquirmedfretfullyunderhishand.

Stillpattingrhythmically,JonasbegantorememberthewonderfulsailthatTheGiverhadgivenhimnotlongbe-fore:abright,breezydayonaclearturquoiselake,andabovehimthewhitesailoftheboatbillowingashemovedalonginthebriskwind.

Hewasnotawareofgivingthememory;butsuddenlyherealizedthatitwasbecomingdimmer,thatitwasslidingthroughhishandintothebeingofthenewchild.Gabrielbecamequiet.Startled,Jonaspulledbackwhatwasleftofthememorywithaburstofwill.Heremovedhishandfromthelittlebackandstoodquietlybesidethecrib.

Tohimself,hecalledthememoryofthesailforwardagain.Itwasstillthere,buttheskywaslessblue,thegentlemotionoftheboatslower,thewaterofthelakemoremurkyandclouded.Hekeptitforawhile,soothinghisownnervousnessatwhathadoccurred,thenletitgoandreturnedtohisbed.

Oncemore,towarddawn,thenewchildwokeandcriedout.AgainJonaswenttohim.ThistimehequitedeliberatelyplacedhishandfirmlyonGabriel'sback,andreleasedtherestofthecalmingdayonthelake.AgainGabrielslept.

ButnowJonaslayawake,thinking.Henolongerhadanymorethanawispofthememory,andhefeltasmalllackwhereithadbeen.HecouldaskTheGiverforan-othersail,heknew.Asailperhapsonocean,nexttime,forJonashadamemoryofocean,now,andknewwhatitwas;heknewthatthereweresailboatsthere,too,inmemoriesyettobeacquired.

Hewondered,though,ifheshouldconfesstoTheGiverthathehadgivenamemoryaway.HewasnotyetqualifiedtobeaGiverhimself;norhadGabrielbeenselectedtobeaReceiver.

Thathehadthispowerfrightenedhim.Hedecidednottotell.

15

JonasenteredtheAnnexroomandrealizedimmediatelythatitwasadaywhenhewouldbesentaway.TheGiverwasrigidinhischair,hisfaceinhishands.

"I'llcomebacktomorrow,sir,"hesaidquickly.Thenhehesitated."Unlessmaybethere'ssomethingIcandotohelp."

TheGiverlookedupathim,hisfacecontortedwithsuffering."Please,"hegasped,"takesomeofthepain."

Jonashelpedhimtohischairatthesideofthebed.Thenhequicklyremovedhistunicandlayfacedown."Putyourhandsonme,"hedirected,awarethatinsuchanguishTheGivermightneedreminding.

Thehandscame,andthepaincamewiththemandthroughthem.JonasbracedhimselfandenteredthememorywhichwastorturingTheGiver.

Hewasinaconfused,noisy,foul-smellingplace.Itwasdaylight,earlymorning,andtheairwasthickwithsmokethathung,yellowandbrown,abovetheground.Aroundhim,everywhere,faracrosstheexpanseofwhatseemedtobeafield,laygroaningmen.Awild-eyedhorse,itsbridletornanddangling,trottedfranticallythroughthemoundsofmen,tossingitshead,whinnyinginpanic.Itstumbled,finally,thenfell,anddidnotrise.

Jonasheardavoicenexttohim."Water,"thevoicesaidinaparched,croakingwhisper.

Heturnedhisheadtowardthevoiceandlookedintothehalf-closedeyesofaboywhoseemednotmucholderthanhimself.Dirtstreakedtheboy'sfaceandhismattedblondhair.Helaysprawled,hisgrayuniformglisteningwithwet,freshblood.

Thecolorsofthecarnageweregrotesquelybright:thecrimsonwetnessontheroughanddustyfabric,therippedshredsofgrass,startlinglygreen,intheboy'syellowhair.

Theboystaredathim."Water,"hebeggedagain.Whenhespoke,anewspurtofblooddrenchedthecoarseclothacrosshischestandsleeve.

OneofJonas'sarmswasimmobilizedwithpain,andhecouldseethroughhisowntornsleevesomethingthatlookedlikeraggedfleshandsplinterybone.Hetriedhisremainingarmandfeltitmove.Slowlyhereachedtohisside,feltthemetalcontainerthere,andremoveditscap,stoppingthesmallmotionofhishandnowandthentowaitforthesurgingpaintoease.Finally,whenthecontainerwasopen,heextendedhisarmslowlyacrosstheblood-soakedearth,inchbyinch,andheldittothelipsoftheboy.Watertrickledintotheimploringmouthanddownthegrimychin.

Theboysighed.Hisheadfellback,hislowerjawdrop-pingasifhehadbeensurprisedbysomething.Adullblanknessslidslowlyacrosshiseyes.Hewassilent.

Butthenoisecontinuedallaround:thecriesofthewoundedmen,thecriesbeggingforwaterandforMotherandfordeath.Horseslyingonthegroundshrieked,raisedtheirheads,andstabbedrandomlytowardtheskywiththeirhooves.

Fromthedistance,Jonascouldhearthethudofcannons.Overwhelmedbypain,helaythereinthefearsomestenchforhours,listenedtothemenandanimalsdie,andlearnedwhatwarfaremeant.

Finally,whenheknewthathecouldbearitnolongerandwouldwelcomedeathhimself,heopenedhiseyesandwasonceagainonthebed.

TheGiverlookedaway,asifhecouldnotbeartoseewhathehaddonetoJonas."Forgiveme,"hesaid.

16

Jonasdidnotwanttogoback.Hedidn'twantthememories,didn'twantthehonor,didn'twantthewisdom,didn'twantthepain.Hewantedhischildhoodagain,hisscrapedkneesandballgames.Hesatinhisdwellingalone,watchingthroughthewindow,seeingchildrenatplay,citizensbicyclinghomefromuneventfuldaysatwork,ordinarylivesfreeofanguishbecausehehadbeenselected,asothersbeforehimhad,tobeartheirburden.

Butthechoicewasnothis.HereturnedeachdaytotheAnnexroom.

TheGiverwasgentlewithhimformanydaysfollowingtheterriblesharedmemoryofwar.

"Therearesomanygoodmemories,"TheGiverre-mindedJonas.Anditwastrue.BynowJonashadexperiencedcountlessbitsofhappiness,thingshehadneverknownofbefore.

Hehadseenabirthdayparry,withonechildsingledoutandcelebratedonhisday,sothatnowheunderstoodthejoyofbeinganindividual,specialanduniqueandproud.

Hehadvisitedmuseumsandseenpaintingsfilledwithallthecolorshecouldnowrecognizeandname.

Inoneecstaticmemoryhehadriddenagleamingbrownhorseacrossafieldthatsmelledofdampgrass,andhaddismountedbesideasmallstreamfromwhichbothheandthehorsedrankcold,clearwater.Nowheunderstoodaboutanimals;andinthemomentthatthehorseturnedfromthestreamandnudgedJonas'sshoulderaffectionatelywithitshead,heperceivedthebondsbetweenanimalandhuman.

Hehadwalkedthroughwoods,andsatatnightbesideacampfire.Althoughhehadthroughthememorieslearnedaboutthepainoflossandloneliness,nowhegained,too,anunderstandingofsolitudeanditsjoy.

"Whatisyourfavorite?"JonasaskedTheGiver."Youdon'thavetogiveitawayyet,"headdedquickly."Justtellmeaboutit,soIcanlookforwardtoit,becauseI'llhavetoreceiveitwhenyourjobisdone."

TheGiversmiled."Liedown,"hesaid."I'mhappytogiveittoyou."

Jonasfeltthejoyofitassoonasthememorybegan.Sometimesittookawhileforhimtogethisbearings,tofindhisplace.Butthistimehefitrightinandfeltthehappinessthatpervadedthememory.

Hewasinaroomfilledwithpeople,anditwaswarm,withfirelightglowingonahearth.Hecouldseethroughawindowthatoutsideitwasnight,andsnowing.Therewerecoloredlights:redandgreenandyellow,twinklingfromatreewhichwas,oddly,insidetheroom.Onatable,lightedcandlesstoodinapolishedgoldenholderandcastasoft,flickeringglow.Hecouldsmellthingscooking,andheheardsoftlaughter.Agolden-haireddoglaysleepingonthefloor.

Onthefloortherewerepackageswrappedinbrightlycoloredpaperandtiedwithgleamingribbons.AsJonaswatched,asmallchildbegantopickupthepackagesandpassthemaroundtheroom:tootherchildren,toadultswhowereobviouslyparents,andtoanolder,quietcouple,manandwoman,whosatsmilingtogetheronacouch.

WhileJonaswatched,thepeoplebeganonebyonetountietheribbonsonthepackages,tounwrapthebrightpapers,opentheboxesandrevealtoysandclothingandbooks.Therewerecriesofdelight.Theyhuggedonean-other.

Thesmallchildwentandsatonthelapoftheoldwoman,andshe

rockedhimandrubbedhercheekagainsthis.

Jonasopenedhiseyesandlaycontentedlyonthebed,stillluxuriatinginthewarmandcomfortingmemory.Ithadallbeenthere,allthethingshehadlearnedtotreasure.

"Whatdidyouperceive?"TheGiverasked.

"Warmth,"Jonasreplied,"andhappiness.And—letmethink.Family.Thatitwasacelebrationofsomesort,aholiday.Andsomethingelse—Ican'tquitegetthewordforit."

"Itwillcometoyou."

"Whoweretheoldpeople?Whyweretheythere?"IthadpuzzledJonas,seeingthemintheroom.TheOldofthecommunitydidnoteverleavetheirspecialplace,theHouseoftheOld,wheretheyweresowellcaredforandrespected.

"TheywerecalledGrandparents."

"Grandparents?"

"Grandparents.Itmeantparents-of-the-parents,longago."

"Backandbackandback?"Jonasbegantolaugh."Soactually,therecouldbeparents-of-the-parents-of-theparents-of-theparents?"

TheGiverlaughed,too."That'sright.It'salittlelikelookingatyourselflookinginamirrorlookingatyourselflookinginamirror."

Jonasfrowned."Butmyparentsmusthavehadparents!Ineverthoughtaboutitbefore.Whoaremyparents-of-the-parents?Wherearethey?"

"YoucouldgolookintheHallofOpenRecords.You'dfindthenames.

Butthink,son.Ifyouapplyforchildren,thenwhowillbetheirparents-of-the-parents?Whowillbetheirgrandparents?"

"Mymotherandfather,ofcourse."

"Andwherewilltheybe?"

Jonasthought."Oh,"hesaidslowly."WhenIfinishmytrainingandbecomeafulladult,I'llbegivenmyowndwelling.AndthenwhenLilydoes,afewyearslater,she'llgetherowndwelling,andmaybeaspouse,andchildrenifsheappliesforthem,andthenMotherandFather—"

"That'sright."

"Aslongasthey'restillworkingandcontributingtothecommunity,they'llgoandlivewiththeotherChild-lessAdults.Andtheywon'tbepartofmylifeanymore.

"Andafterthat,whenthetimecomes,they'llgototheHouseoftheOld,"Jonaswenton.Hewasthinkingaloud."Andthey'llbewellcaredfor,andrespected,andwhenthey'rereleased,therewillbeacelebration."

"Whichyouwon'tattend,"TheGiverpointedout.

"No,ofcoursenot,becauseIwon'tevenknowaboutit.BythenI'llbesobusywithmyownlife.AndLilywill,too.Soourchildren,ifwehavethem,won'tknowwhotheirparents-of-parentsare,either.

"Itseemstoworkprettywellthatway,doesn'tit?Thewaywedoitinourcommunity?"Jonasasked."Ijustdidn'trealizetherewasanyotherway,untilIreceivedthatmemory."

"Itworks,"TheGiveragreed.

Jonashesitated."Icertainlylikedthememory,though.Icanseewhy

it'syourfavorite.Icouldn'tquitegetthewordforthewholefeelingofit,thefeelingthatwassostrongintheroom."

"Love,"TheGivertoldhim.

Jonasrepeatedit."Love."Itwasawordandconceptnewtohim.

Theywerebothsilentforaminute.ThenJonassaid,"Giver?"

"Yes?"

"Ifeelveryfoolishsayingthis.Very,veryfoolish.""Noneed.Nothingisfoolishhere.Trustthememoriesandhowtheymakeyoufeel."

"Well,"Jonassaid,lookingatthefloor,"Iknowyoudon'thavethememoryanymore,becauseyougaveittome,somaybeyouwon'tunderstandthis—"

"Iwill.Iamleftwithavaguewispofthatone;andIhavemanyothermemoriesoffamilies,andholidays,andhappiness.Oflove."

Jonasblurtedoutwhathewasfeeling."Iwasthinkingthat...well,Icanseethatitwasn'taverypracticalway

tolive,withtheOldrightthereinthesameplace,wheremaybetheywouldn'tbewelltakencareof,thewaytheyarenow,andthatwehaveabetter-arrangedwayofdoingthings.Butanyway,Iwasthinking,Imeanfeeling,actually,thatitwaskindofnice,then.AndthatIwishwecouldbethatway,andthatyoucouldbemygrandparent.Thefamilyinthememoryseemedalittlemore—"Hefaltered,notabletofindthewordhewanted.

"Alittlemorecomplete,"TheGiversuggested.

Jonasnodded."Ilikedthefeelingoflove,"heconfessed.Heglancednervouslyatthespeakeronthewall,reassuringhimselfthatnoonewaslistening."Iwishwestillhadthat,"hewhispered."Ofcourse,"headdedquickly,"Idounderstandthatitwouldn'tworkverywell.Andthatit'smuchbettertobeorganizedthewaywearenow.Icanseethatitwasadangerouswaytolive."

"Whatdoyoumean?"

Jonashesitated.Hewasn'tcertain,really,whathehadmeant.Hecouldfeelthattherewasriskinvolved,thoughhewasn'tsurehow."Well,"hesaidfinally,graspingforanexplanation,"theyhadfirerightthereinthatroom.Therewasafireburninginthefireplace.Andtherewerecandlesonatable.Icancertainlyseewhythosethingswereoutlawed.

"Still,"hesaidslowly,almosttohimself,"Ididlikethelighttheymade.Andthewarmth."

"Father?Mother?"Jonasaskedtentativelyaftertheeveningmeal."IhaveaquestionIwanttoaskyou."

"Whatisit,Jonas?"hisfatherasked.

Hemadehimselfsaythewords,thoughhefeltflushedwithembarrassment.HehadrehearsedtheminhismindallthewayhomefromtheAnnex.

"Doyouloveme?"

Therewasanawkwardsilenceforamoment.ThenFathergavealittlechuckle.Jonas.You,ofallpeople.Precisionoflanguage,please!"

"Whatdoyoumean?"Jonasasked.Amusementwasnotatallwhathehadanticipated.

"Yourfathermeansthatyouusedaverygeneralizedword,someaninglessthatit'sbecomealmostobsolete,"hismotherexplainedcarefully.

Jonasstaredatthem.Meaningless?Hehadneverbeforefeltanythingasmeaningfulasthememory.

"Andofcourseourcommunitycan'tfunctionsmoothlyifpeopledon'tusepreciselanguage.Youcouldask,'Doyouenjoyme?'Theansweris`Yes,'"hismothersaid.

"Or,"hisfathersuggested,"'Doyoutakeprideinmyaccomplishments?'Andtheansweriswholeheartedly'Yes.'"

"Doyouunderstandwhyit'sinappropriatetouseawordlike'love'?"Motherasked.

Jonasnodded."Yes,thankyou,Ido,"herepliedslowly.

Itwashisfirstlietohisparents.

"Gabriel?"Jonaswhisperedthatnighttothenewchild.Thecribwasinhisroomagain.AfterGabehadsleptsoundlyinJonas'sroomforfournights,hisparentshadpronouncedtheexperimentasuccessandJonasahero.Gabrielwasgrowingrapidly,nowcrawlingandgigglingacrosstheroomandpullinghimselfuptostand.HecouldbeupgradedintheNurturingCenter,Fathersaidhappily,nowthatheslept;hecouldbeofficiallynamedandgiventohisfamilyinDecember,whichwasonlytwomonthsaway.

Butwhenhewastakenaway,hestoppedsleepingagain,andcriedinthenight.

SohewasbackinJonas'ssleepingroom.Theywouldgiveitalittlemoretime,theydecided.SinceGabeseemedtolikeitinJonas'sroom,he

wouldsleepthereatnightalittlelonger,untilthehabitofsoundsleepwasfullyformed.TheNurturerswereveryoptimisticaboutGabriel'sfuture.

TherewasnoanswertoJonas'swhisper.Gabrielwassoundasleep.

"Thingscouldchange,Gabe,"Jonaswenton."Thingscouldbedifferent.Idon'tknowhow,buttheremustbesomewayforthingstobedifferent.Therecouldbecolors.

"Andgrandparents,"headded,staringthroughthedimnesstowardtheceilingofhissleepingroom."Andeverybodywouldhavethememories.

"Youknowaboutmemories,"hewhispered,turningtowardthecrib.

Gabriel'sbreathingwasevenanddeep.Jonaslikedhavinghimthere,thoughhefeltguiltyaboutthesecret.EachnighthegavememoriestoGabriel:memoriesofboatridesandpicnicsinthesun;memoriesofsoftrainfallagainstwindowpanes;memoriesofdancingbarefootonadamplawn.

"Gabe?"

Thenewchildstirredslightlyinhissleep.Jonaslookedoverathim.

"Therecouldbelove,"Jonaswhispered.

Thenextmorning,forthefirsttime,Jonasdidnottakehispill.Somethingwithinhim,somethingthathadgrowntherethroughthememories,toldhimtothrowthepillaway.

17

TODAYISDECLAREDANUNSCHEDULEDHOLIDAY.Jonas,hisparents,andLilyallturnedinsurpriseandlookedatthewallspeakerfromwhichtheannouncementhad

come.Ithappenedsorarely,andwassuchatreatfortheentirecommunitywhenitdid.Adultswereexemptedfromtheday'swork,childrenfromschoolandtrainingandvolunteerhours.ThesubstituteLaborers,whowouldbegivenadifferentholiday,tookoverallthenecessarytasks:nurturing,fooddelivery,andcareoftheOld;andthecommunitywasfree.

Jonascheered,andputhishomeworkfolderdown.Hehadbeenabouttoleaveforschool.Schoolwaslessimportanttohimnow;andbeforemuchmoretimepassed,hisformalschoolingwouldend.Butstill,forTwelves,thoughtheyhadbeguntheiradulttraining,thereweretheendlesslistsofrulestobememorizedandthenewesttechnologytobemastered.

Hewishedhisparents,sister,andGabeahappyday,androdedownthebicyclepath,lookingforAsher.

Hehadnottakenthepills,now,forfourweeks.TheStirringshadreturned,andhefeltalittleguiltyandembarrassedaboutthepleasurabledreamsthatcametohimasheslept.Butheknewhecouldn'tgobacktotheworldofnofeelingsthathehadlivedinsolong.

Andhisnew,heightenedfeelingspermeatedagreaterrealmthansimplyhissleep.Thoughheknewthathisfailuretotakethepillsaccountedforsomeofit,hethoughtthatthefeelingscamealsofromthememories.Nowhecouldseeallofthecolors;andhecouldkeepthem,too,sothatthetreesandgrassandbushesstayedgreeninhisvision.Gabriel'srosycheeksstayedpink,evenwhenheslept.Andappleswerealways,alwaysred.

Now,throughthememories,hehadseenoceansandmountainlakesandstreamsthatgurgledthroughwoods;andnowhesawthefamiliarwideriverbesidethepathdifferently.Hesawallofthelightandcolorandhistoryitcontainedandcarriedinitsslow-movingwater;andhe

knewthattherewasanElsewherefromwhichitcame,andanElsewheretowhichitwasgoing.

Onthisunexpected,casualholidayhefelthappy,ashealwayshadonholidays;butwithadeeperhappinessthaneverbefore.Thinking,ashealwaysdid,aboutprecisionoflanguage,Jonasrealizedthatitwasanewdepthoffeelingsthathewasexperiencing.Somehowtheywerenotatallthesameasthefeelingsthateveryevening,ineverydwelling,everycitizenanalyzedwithendlesstalk.

"Ifeltangrybecausesomeonebroketheplayarearules,"Lilyhadsaidonce,makingafistwithhersmallhandtoindicateherfury.Herfamily—Jonasamongthem—hadtalkedaboutthepossiblereasonsforrule-breaking,andtheneedforunderstandingandpatience,untilLily'sfisthadrelaxedandherangerwasgone.

ButLilyhadnotfeltanger,Jonasrealizednow.Shallowimpatienceandexasperation,thatwasallLilyhadfelt.Heknewthatwithcertaintybecausenowheknewwhatangerwas.Nowhehad,inthememories,experiencedinjusticeandcruelty,andhehadreactedwithragethatwelledupsopassionatelyinsidehimthatthethoughtofdiscussingitcalmlyattheeveningmealwasunthinkable.

"Ifeltsadtoday,"hehadheardhismothersay,andtheyhadcomfortedher.

ButnowJonashadexperiencedrealsadness.Hehadfeltgrief.Heknewthattherewasnoquickcomfortforemotionslikethose.

Theseweredeeperandtheydidnotneedtobetold.Theywerefelt.

Today,hefelthappiness.

"Asher!"Hespiedhisfriend'sbicycleleaningagainstatreeattheedge

oftheplayingfield.Nearby,otherbikeswerestrewnaboutontheground.Onaholidaytheusualrulesofordercouldbedisregarded.

Heskiddedtoastopanddroppedhisownbikebesidetheothers."Hey,Ash!"heshouted,lookingaround.Thereseemedtobenooneintheplayarea."Whereareyou?"

"Psssheeewwww!"Achild'svoice,comingfrombehindanearbybush,madethesound."Pow!Pow!Pow!"

AfemaleElevennamedTanyastaggeredforwardfromwhereshehadbeenhiding.Dramaticallysheclutchedherstomachandstumbledaboutinazig-zagpattern,groaning."Yougotme!"shecalled,andfelltotheground,grinning.

"Blam!"

Jonas,standingonthesideoftheplayingfield,recognizedAsher'svoice.Hesawhisfriend,aiminganimaginaryweaponinhishand,dartfrombehindonetreetoan-other."Blam!You'reinmylineofambush,Jonas!Watchout!"

Jonassteppedback.HemovedbehindAsher'sbikeandkneltsothathewasoutofsight.Itwasagamehehadoftenplayedwiththeotherchildren,agameofgoodguysandbadguys,aharmlesspasttimethatuseduptheircontainedenergyandendedonlywhentheyalllayposedinfreakishposturesontheground.

Hehadneverrecognizeditbeforeasagameofwar.

"Attack!"Theshoutcamefrombehindthesmallstore-housewhereplayequipmentwaskept.Threechildrendashedforward,theirimaginaryweaponsinfiringposition.

Fromtheoppositesideofthefieldcameanopposingshout:"Counter-

attack!"Fromtheirhidingplacesahordeofchildren—JonasrecognizedFionainthegroup—emerged,runninginacrouchedposition,firingacrossthefield.Severalofthemstopped,grabbedtheirownshouldersandchestswithexaggeratedgestures,andpre-tendedtobehit.Theydroppedtothegroundandlaysup-pressinggiggles.

FeelingssurgedwithinJonas.Hefoundhimselfwalkingforwardintothefield.

"You'rehit,Jonas!"Asheryelledfrombehindthetree."Pow!You'rehitagain!"

Jonasstoodaloneinthecenterofthefield.Severalofthechildrenraisedtheirheadsandlookedathimuneasily.Theattackingarmiesslowed,emergedfromtheircrouchedpositions,andwatchedtoseewhathewasdoing.

Inhismind,Jonassawagainthefaceoftheboywhohadlaindyingonafieldandhadbeggedhimforwater.Hehadasuddenchokingfeeling,asifitweredifficulttobreathe.

Oneofthechildrenraisedanimaginaryrifleandmadeanattempttodestroyhimwithafiringnoise."Pssheeew!"Thentheywereallsilent,standingawkwardly,andtheonlysoundwasthesoundofJonas'sshudderingbreaths.Hewasstrugglingnottocry.

Gradually,whennothinghappened,nothingchanged,thechildrenlookedateachothernervouslyandwentaway.Heheardthesoundsastheyrightedtheirbicyclesandbegantoridedownthepaththatledfromthefield.

OnlyAsherandFionaremained.

"What'swrong,Jonas?Itwasonlyagame,"Fionasaid.

"Youruinedit,"Ashersaidinanirritatedvoice."Don'tplayitanymore,"Jonaspleaded.

"I'mtheonewho'strainingforAssistantRecreationDirector,"Asherpointedoutangrily."Gamesaren'tyourareaofexpertness."

"Expertise,"Jonascorrectedhimautomatically.

"Whatever.Youcan'tsaywhatweplay,evenifyouaregoingtobethenewReceiver."Asherlookedwarilyathim."Iapologizefornotpayingyoutherespectyoudeserve,"hemumbled.

"Asher,"Jonassaid.Hewastryingtospeakcarefully,andwithkindness,tosayexactlywhathewantedtosay."Youhadnowayofknowingthis.Ididn'tknowitmyselfuntilrecently.Butit'sacruelgame.Inthepast,therehave—"

"IsaidIapologize,Jonas."

Jonassighed.Itwasnouse.OfcourseAshercouldn'tunderstand."Iacceptyourapology,Asher,"hesaidwearily.

"Doyouwanttogoforaridealongtheriver,Jonas?"Fionaasked,bitingherlipwithnervousness.

Jonaslookedather.Shewassolovely.Forafleetinginstanthethoughthewouldlikenothingbetterthantoridepeacefullyalongtheriverpath,laughingandtalkingwithhisgentlefemalefriend.Butheknewthatsuchtimeshadbeentakenfromhimnow.Heshookhishead.Afteramomenthistwofriendsturnedandwenttotheirbikes.Hewatchedastheyrodeaway.

JonastrudgedtothebenchbesidetheStorehouseandsatdown,overwhelmedwithfeelingsofloss.Hischild-hood,hisfriendships,hiscarefreesenseofsecurity—allofthesethingsseemedtobeslipping

away.Withhisnew,heightenedfeelings,hewasoverwhelmedbysadnessatthewaytheothershadlaughedandshouted,playingatwar.Butheknewthattheycouldnotunderstandwhy,withoutthememories.HefeltsuchloveforAsherandforFiona.Buttheycouldnotfeelitback,withoutthememories.Andhecouldnotgivethemthose.Jonasknewwithcertaintythathecouldchangenothing.

Backintheirdwelling,thatevening,Lilychatteredmerrilyaboutthewonderfulholidayshehadhad,playingwithherfriends,havinghermiddaymealoutofdoors,and(sheconfessed)sneakingaveryshorttryonherfather'sbicycle."Ican'twaittillIgetmyveryownbicyclenextmonth.Father'sistoobigforme.Ifell,"sheexplainedmatter-offactly."GoodthingGabewasn'tinthechildseat!"

"Averygoodthing,"Motheragreed,frowningattheideaofit.Gabrielwavedhisarmsatthementionofhim-self.Hehadbeguntowalkjusttheweekbefore.ThefirststepsofanewchildwerealwaystheoccasionforcelebrationattheNurturingCenter,Fathersaid,butalsofortheintroductionofadisciplinewand.NowFatherbroughttheslenderinstrumenthomewithhimeachnight,incaseGabrielmisbehaved.

Buthewasahappyandeasygoingtoddler.Nowhemovedunsteadilyacrosstheroom,laughing."Gay!"hechirped."Gay!"Itwasthewayhesaidhisownname.

Jonasbrightened.Ithadbeenadepressingdayforhim,aftersuchabrightstart.Buthesethisglumthoughtsaside.HethoughtaboutstartingtoteachLilytoridesothatshecouldspeedoffproudlyafterherCeremonyofNine,whichwouldbecomingsoon.ItwashardtobelievethatitwasalmostDecemberagain,thatalmostayearhadpassedsincehehadbecomeaTwelve.

Hesmiledashewatchedthenewchildplantonesmallfootcarefullybeforetheother,grinningwithgleeathisownstepsashetriedthemout.

"Iwanttogettosleepearlytonight,"Fathersaid."To-morrow'sabusydayforme.Thetwinsarebeingbornto-morrow,andthetestresultsshowthatthey'reidentical."

"Oneforhere,oneforElsewhere,"Lilychanted."Oneforhere,oneforElse—"

"DoyouactuallytakeitElsewhere,Father?"Jonasasked.

"No,Ijusthavetomaketheselection.Iweighthem,handthelargerovertoaNurturerwho'sstandingby,

waiting,andthenIgetthesmalleroneallcleanedupandcomfy.ThenIperformasmallCeremonyofReleaseand—"Heglanceddown,grinningatGabriel."ThenIwavebye-bye,"hesaid,inthespecialsweetvoiceheusedwhenhespoketothenewchild.Hewavedhishandinthefamiliargesture.

Gabrielgiggledandwavedbye-byebacktohim."Andsomebodyelsecomestogethim?SomebodyfromElsewhere?"

"That'sright,Jonas-bonus."

Jonasrolledhiseyesinembarrassmentthathisfatherhadusedthesillypetname.

Lilywasdeepinthought."WhatiftheygivethelittletwinanameElsewhere,anamelike,oh,maybeJonathan?Andhere,inourcommunity,athisnaming,thetwinthatwekepthereisgiventhenameJonathan,andthentherewouldbetwochildrenwiththesamename,andtheywouldlookexactlythesame,andsomeday,maybewhentheywereaSix,onegroupofSixeswouldgotovisitan-othercommunityonabus,andthereintheothercommunity,intheothergroupofSixes,wouldbeaJonathanwhowasexactlythesameastheotherJonathan,andthenmaybetheywouldgetmixedupandtakethewrongJonathanhome,and

maybehisparentswouldn'tnotice,andthen—"

Shepausedforbreath.

"Lily,"Mothersaid,"Ihaveawonderfulidea.MaybewhenyoubecomeaTwelve,they'llgiveyoutheAssignmentofStoryteller!Idon'tthinkwe'vehadaStorytellerinthecommunityforalongtime.ButifIwereontheCommittee,Iwoulddefinitelychooseyouforthatjob!"

Lilygrinned."Ihaveabetterideaforonemorestory,"sheannounced."Whatifactuallywewerealltwinsanddidn'tknowit,andsoElsewheretherewouldbeanotherLily,andanotherJonas,andanotherFather,andanotherAsher,andanotherChiefElder,andanother—"

Fathergroaned."Lily,"hesaid."It'sbedtime."

18

"Giver,"Jonasaskedthenextafternoon,"Doyoueverthinkaboutrelease?"

"Doyoumeanmyownrelease,orjustthegeneraltopicofrelease?"

"Both,Iguess.Iapologi—ImeanIshouldhavebeenmoreprecise.ButIdon'tknowexactlywhatImeant."

"Sitbackup.Noneedtoliedownwhilewe'retalking."Jonas,whohadalreadybeenstretchedoutonthebedwhenthequestioncametohismind,satbackup.

"IguessIdothinkaboutitoccasionally,"TheGiversaid."IthinkaboutmyownreleasewhenI'minanawfullotofpain.IwishIcouldputinarequestforit,some-times.ButI'mnotpermittedtodothatuntilthenewReceiveristrained."

"Me,"Jonassaidinadejectedvoice.Hewasnotlookingforwardtotheendofthetraining,whenhewouldbecomethenewReceiver.Itwascleartohimwhataterriblydifficultandlonelylifeitwas,despitethehonor.

"Ican'trequestreleaseeither,"Jonaspointedout."Itwasinmyrules."

TheGiverlaughedharshly."Iknowthat.Theyhammeredoutthoserulesafterthefailuretenyearsago."

Jonashadheardagainandagainnow,referencetothepreviousfailure.Buthestilldidnotknowwhathadhappenedtenyearsbefore."Giver,"hesaid,"tellmewhathappened.Please."

TheGivershrugged."Onthesurface,itwasquitesimple.AReceiver-to-bewasselected,thewayyouwere.Theselectionwentsmoothlyenough.TheCeremonywasheld,andtheselectionwasmade.Thecrowdcheered,astheydidforyou.ThenewReceiverwaspuzzledandalittlefrightened,asyouwere."

"Myparentstoldmeitwasafemale."

TheGivernodded.

Jonasthoughtofhisfavoritefemale,Fiona,andshivered.Hewouldn'twanthisgentlefriendtosufferthewayhehad,takingonthememories."Whatwasshelike?"heaskedTheGiver.

TheGiverlookedsad,thinkingaboutit."Shewasaremarkableyoungwoman.Veryself-possessedandserene.Intelligent,eagertolearn."Heshookhisheadanddrewadeepbreath."Youknow,Jonas,whenshecametomeinthisroom,whenshepresentedherselftobeginhertraining—"

Jonasinterruptedhimwithaquestion."Canyoutellmehername?Myparentssaidthatitwasn'ttobespokenagaininthecommunity.Butcouldn'tyousayitjusttome?"

TheGiverhesitatedpainfully,asifsayingthenamealoudmightbeexcruciating."HernamewasRosemary,"hetoldJonas,finally.

"Rosemary.Ilikethatname."

TheGiverwenton."Whenshecametomeforthefirsttime,shesatthereinthechairwhereyousatonyourfirstday.Shewaseagerandexcitedandalittlescared.Wetalked.ItriedtoexplainthingsaswellasIcould."

"Thewayyoudidtome."

TheGiverchuckledruefully."Theexplanationsaredifficult.Thewholethingissobeyondone'sexperience.ButItried.Andshelistenedcarefully.Hereyeswereveryluminous,Iremember."

Helookedupsuddenly."Jonas,IgaveyouamemorythatItoldyouwasmyfavorite.Istillhaveashredofitleft.Theroom,withthefamily,andgrandparents?"

Jonasnodded.Ofcourseheremembered."Yes,"hesaid."Ithadthatwonderfulfeelingwithit.Youtoldmeitwaslove."

"Youcanunderstand,then,thatthat'swhatIfeltforRosemary,"TheGiverexplained."Ilovedher.

"Ifeelitforyou,too,"headded.

"Whathappenedtoher?"Jonasasked.

"Hertrainingbegan.Shereceivedwell,asyoudo.Shewassoenthusiastic.Sodelightedtoexperiencenewthings.Irememberherlaughter..."

Hisvoicefalteredandtrailedoff.

"Whathappened?"Jonasaskedagain,afteramoment."Pleasetellme."

TheGiverclosedhiseyes."Itbrokemyheart,Jonas,totransferpaintoher.Butitwasmyjob.ItwaswhatIhadtodo,thewayI'vehadtodoittoyou."

Theroomwassilent.Jonaswaited.FinallyTheGivercontinued.

"Fiveweeks.Thatwasall.Igaveherhappymemories:arideonamerry-go-round;akittentoplaywith;apicnic.

SometimesIchoseonejustbecauseIknewitwouldmakeherlaugh,andIsotreasuredthesoundofthatlaughterinthisroomthathadalwaysbeensosilent.

"Butshewaslikeyou,Jonas.Shewantedtoexperienceeverything.Sheknewthatitwasherresponsibility.Andsosheaskedmeformoredifficultmemories."

Jonasheldhisbreathforamoment."Youdidn'tgiveherwar,didyou?Notafterjustfiveweeks?"

TheGivershookhisheadandsighed."No.AndIdidn'tgiveherphysicalpain.ButIgaveherloneliness.AndIgaveherloss.Itransferredamemoryofachildtakenfromitsparents.Thatwasthefirstone.Sheappearedstunnedatitsend."

Jonasswallowed.Rosemary,andherlaughter,hadbeguntoseemrealtohim,andhepicturedherlookingupfromthebedofmemories,shocked.

TheGivercontinued."Ibackedoff,gavehermorelittledelights.Buteverythingchanged,oncesheknewaboutpain.Icouldseeitinhereyes."

"Shewasn'tbraveenough?"Jonassuggested.

TheGiverdidn'trespondtothequestion."SheinsistedthatIcontinue,thatInotspareher.Shesaiditwasherduty.AndIknew,ofcourse,thatshewascorrect.

"Icouldn'tbringmyselftoinflictphysicalpainonher.ButIgaveheranguishofmanykinds.Poverty,andhunger,andterror.

"Ihadto,Jonas.Itwasmyjob.Andshehadbeenchosen."TheGiverlookedathimimploringly.Jonasstrokedhishand.

"Finallyoneafternoon,wefinishedfortheday.Ithadbeenahardsession.Itriedtofinish—asIdowithyou—bytransferringsomethinghappyandcheerful.Butthetimesoflaughterweregonebythen.Shestoodupverysilently,frowning,asifsheweremakingadecision.Thenshecameovertomeandputherarmsaroundme.Shekissedmycheek."AsJonaswatched,TheGiverstrokedhisowncheek,recallingthetouchofRosemary'slipstenyearsbefore.

"Sheleftherethatday,leftthisroom,anddidnotgobacktoherdwelling.IwasnotifiedbytheSpeakerthatshehadgonedirectlytotheChiefElderandaskedtobereleased."

"Butit'sagainsttherules!TheReceiver-in-trainingcan'tapplyforrel—"

"It'sinyourrules,Jonas.Butitwasn'tinhers.Sheaskedforrelease,andtheyhadtogiveittoher.Ineversawheragain."

Sothatwasthefailure,Jonasthought.ItwasobviousthatitsaddenedTheGiververydeeply.Butitdidn'tseemsuchaterriblething,afterall.Andhe,Jonas,wouldneverhavedoneit—neverhaverequestedrelease,nomatternowdifficulthistrainingbecame.TheGiverneededasuccessor,andhehadbeenchosen.

AthoughtoccurredtoJonas.Rosemaryhadbeenre-leasedveryearly

inhertraining.Whatifsomethinghappenedtohim,Jonas?Hehadawholeyear'sworthofmemoriesnow.

"Giver,"heasked,"Ican'trequestrelease,Iknowthat.Butwhatifsomethinghappened:anaccident?WhatifIfellintotheriverlikethelittleFour,Caleb,did?Well,thatdoesn'tmakesensebecauseI'magoodswimmer.ButwhatifIcouldn'tswim,andfellintotheriverandwaslost?Thentherewouldn'tbeanewReceiver,butyouwouldalreadyhavegivenawayanawfullotofimportantmemories,soeventhoughtheywouldselectanewReceiver,thememorieswouldbegoneexceptfortheshredsthatyouhaveleftofthem?Andthenwhatif—"

Hestartedtolaugh,suddenly."Isoundlikemysister,Lily,"hesaid,amusedathimself.

TheGiverlookedathimgravely."Youjuststayawayfromtheriver,myfriend,"hesaid."ThecommunitylostRosemaryafterfiveweeksanditwasadisasterforthem.Idon'tknowwhatthecommunitywoulddoiftheylostyou."

"Whywasitadisaster?"

"IthinkImentionedtoyouonce,"TheGiverre-mindedhim,"thatwhenshewasgone,thememoriescamebacktothepeople.Ifyouweretobelostintheriver,Jonas,yourmemorieswouldnotbelostwithyou.Memoriesareforever.

"Rosemaryhadonlythosefiveweeksworth,andmostofthemweregoodones.Buttherewerethosefewterriblememories,theonesthathadoverwhelmedher.Forawhiletheyoverwhelmedthecommunity.Allthosefeelings!They'dneverexperiencedthatbefore.

"Iwassodevastatedbymyowngriefatherloss,andmyownfeelingoffailure,thatIdidn'teventrytohelpthemthroughit.Iwasangry,too."

TheGiverwasquietforamoment,obviouslythinking."Youknow,"hesaid,finally,"iftheylostyou,withallthetrainingyou'vehadnow,they'dhaveallthosememoriesagainthemselves."

Jonasmadeaface."They'dhatethat."

"Theycertainlywould.Theywouldn'tknowhowtodealwithitatall."

"TheonlywayIdealwithitisbyhavingyoutheretohelpme,"Jonaspointedoutwithasigh.

TheGivernodded."Isuppose,"hesaidslowly,"thatIcould—"

"Youcouldwhat?"

TheGiverwasstilldeepinthought.Afteramoment,hesaid,"Ifyoufloatedoffintheriver,IsupposeIcouldhelpthewholecommunitythewayI'vehelpedyou.It'saninterestingconcept.Ineedtothinkaboutitsomemore.Maybewe'lltalkaboutitagainsometime.Butnotnow.

"I'mgladyou'reagoodswimmer,Jonas.Butstayawayfromtheriver."Helaughedalittle,butthelaughterwasnotlighthearted.Histhoughtsseemedtobeelse-where,andhiseyeswereverytroubled.

19

Jonasglancedattheclock.Therewassomuchworktobedone,always,thatheandTheGiverseldomsimplysatandtalked,thewaytheyjusthad.

"I'msorrythatIwastedsomuchtimewithmyquestions,"Jonassaid."Iwasonlyaskingaboutreleasebe-causemyfatherisreleasinganewchildtoday.Atwin.Hehastoselectoneandreleasetheotherone.Theydoitbyweight."Jonasglancedattheclock."Actually,Isupposehe'salreadyfinished.Ithinkitwasthismorning."

TheGiver'sfacetookonasolemnlook."Iwishtheywouldn'tdothat,"hesaidquietly,almosttohimself.

"Well,theycan'thavetwoidenticalpeoplearound!Thinkhowconfusingitwouldbe!"Jonaschuckled.

"IwishIcouldwatch,"headded,asanafterthought.Helikedthethoughtofseeinghisfatherperformtheceremony,andmakingthelittletwincleanandcomfy.Hisfatherwassuchagentleman.

"Youcanwatch,"TheGiversaid.

"No,"Jonastoldhim."Theyneverletchildrenwatch.It'sveryprivate."

"Jonas,"TheGivertoldhim,"Iknowthatyoureadyourtraininginstructionsverycarefully.Don'tyourememberthatyouareallowedtoaskanyoneanything?"

Jonasnodded."Yes,but—"

"Jonas,whenyouandIhavefinishedourtimetogether,youwillbethenewReceiver.Youcanreadthebooks;you'llhavethememories.Youhaveaccesstoeverything.It'spartofyourtraining.Ifyouwanttowatcharelease,youhavesimplytoask."

Jonasshrugged."Well,maybeIwill,then.Butit'stoolateforthisone.I'msureitwasthismorning."

TheGivertoldhim,then,somethinghehadnotknown."Allprivateceremoniesarerecorded.They'reintheHallofClosedRecords.Doyouwanttoseethismorning'srelease?"

Jonashesitated.Hewasafraidthathisfatherwouldn'tlikeit,ifhewatchedsomethingsoprivate.

"Ithinkyoushould,"TheGivertoldhimfirmly."Allright,then,"Jonassaid."Tellmehow."

TheGiverrosefromhischair,wenttothespeakeronthewall,andclickedtheswitchfromOFFtoON.

Thevoicespokeimmediately."Yes,Receiver.HowmayIhelpyou?"

"Iwouldliketoseethismorning'sreleaseofthetwin.""Onemoment,Receiver.Thankyouforyourinstructions."

Jonaswatchedthevideoscreenabovetherowofswitches.Itsblankfacebegantoflickerwithzig-zaglines;thensomenumbersappeared,followedbythedateandtime.Hewasastonishedanddelightedthatthiswasavail-abletohim,andsurprisedthathehadnotknown.

Suddenlyhecouldseeasmallwindowlessroom,emptyexceptforabed,atablewithsomeequipmentonit—Jonasrecognizedascale;hehadseenthembefore,whenhe'dbeendoingvolunteerhoursattheNurturingCenter—andacupboard.Hecouldseepalecarpetingonthefloor.

"It'sjustanordinaryroom,"hecommented."Ithoughtmaybethey'dhaveitintheAuditorium,sothateverybodycouldcome.AlltheOldgotoCeremoniesofRelease.ButIsupposethatwhenit'sjustanewborn,theydon't—"

"Shhh,"TheGiversaid,hiseyesonthescreen.

Jonas'sfather,wearinghisnurturinguniform,enteredtheroom,cradlingatinynewchildwrappedinasoftblanketinhisarms.Auniformedwomanfollowedthroughthedoor,carryingasecondnewchildwrappedinasimilarblanket.

"That'smyfather."Jonasfoundhimselfwhispering,asifhemight

wakethelittleonesifhespokealoud."AndtheotherNurturerishisassistant.She'sstillintraining,butshe'llbefinishedsoon."

ThetwoNurturersunwrappedtheblanketsandlaidtheidenticalnewbornsonthebed.Theywerenaked.Jonascouldseethattheyweremales.

Hewatched,fascinated,ashisfathergentlyliftedoneandthentheothertothescaleandweighedthem.

Heheardhisfatherlaugh."Good,"hisfathersaidtothewoman."Ithoughtforamomentthattheymightbothbeexactlythesame.Thenwe'dhaveaproblem.Butthisone,"hehandedone,afterrewrappingit,tohisassistant,"issixpoundseven.SoyoucancleanhimupanddresshimandtakehimovertotheCenter."

Thewomantookthenewchildandleftthroughthedoorshehadentered.

Jonaswatchedashisfatherbentoverthesquirmingnewchildonthebed."Andyou,littleguy,you'reonlyfivepoundstenounces.Ashrimp.'"

"That'sthespecialvoiceheuseswithGabriel,"Jonasremarked,smiling.

"Watch,"TheGiversaid.

"Nowhecleanshimupandmakeshimcomfy,"Jonastoldhim."Hetoldme."

"Bequiet,Jonas,"TheGivercommandedinastrangevoice."Watch."

ObedientlyJonasconcentratedonthescreen,waitingforwhatwouldhappennext.Hewasespeciallycuriousabouttheceremonypart.

Hisfatherturnedandopenedthecupboard.Hetookoutasyringeandasmallbottle.Verycarefullyheinsertedtheneedleintothebottleandbegantofillthesyringewithaclearliquid.

Jonaswincedsympathetically.Hehadforgottenthatnewchildrenhadtogetshots.Hehatedshotshimself,thoughheknewthattheywerenecessary.

Tohissurprise,hisfatherbeganverycarefullytodirecttheneedleintothetopofnewchild'sforehead,puncturingtheplacewherethefragileskinpulsed.Thenewbornsquirmed,andwailedfaintly.

"Why'she—"

"Shhh,"TheGiversaidsharply.

Hisfatherwastalking,andJonasrealizedthathewashearingtheanswertothequestionhehadstartedtoask.Stillinthespecialvoice,hisfatherwassaying,"Iknow,Iknow.Ithurts,littleguy.ButIhavetouseavein,andtheveinsinyourarmsarestilltooteeny-weeny."

Hepushedtheplungerveryslowly,injectingtheliquidintothescalpveinuntilthesyringewasempty.

Alldone.Thatwasn'tsohard,wasit?"Jonasheardhisfathersaycheerfully.Heturnedasideanddroppedthesyringeintoawastereceptacle.

Nowhecleanshimupandmakeshimcomfy,Jonassaidtohimself,awarethatTheGiverdidn'twanttotalkduringthelittleceremony.

Ashecontinuedtowatch,thenewchild,nolongercrying,movedhisarmsandlegsinajerkingmotion.Thenhewentlimp.Heheadfelltotheside,hiseyeshalfopen.Thenhewasstill.

Withanodd,shockedfeeling,Jonasrecognizedthegesturesandpostureandexpression.Theywerefamiliar.Hehadseenthembefore.Buthecouldn'trememberwhere.

Jonasstaredatthescreen,waitingforsomethingtohappen.Butnothingdid.Thelittletwinlaymotionless.Hisfatherwasputtingthingsaway.Foldingtheblanket.Closingthecupboard.

Onceagain,ashehadontheplayingfield,hefeltthechokingsensation.Onceagainhesawthefaceofthelight-haired,bloodiedsoldieraslifelefthiseyes.Thememorycameback.

Hekilledit!Myfatherkilledit!Jonassaidtohimself,stunnedatwhathewasrealizing.Hecontinuedtostareatthescreennumbly.

Hisfathertidiedtheroom.Thenhepickedupasmallcartonthatlaywaitingonthefloor,setitonthebed,andliftedthelimpbodyintoit.Heplacedthelidontightly.

Hepickedupthecartonandcarriedittotheothersideoftheroom.Heopenedasmalldoorinthewall;Jonascouldseedarknessbehindthedoor.Itseemedtobethesamesortofchuteintowhichtrashwasdepositedatschool.

Hisfatherloadedthecartoncontainingthebodyintothechuteandgaveitashove.

"Bye-bye,littleguy,"Jonasheardhisfathersaybeforehelefttheroom.Thenthescreenwentblank.

TheGiverturnedtohim.Quitecalmly,herelated,"WhentheSpeakernotifiedmethatRosemaryhadappliedforrelease,theyturnedonthetapetoshowmetheprocess.Thereshewas—mylastglimpseofthatbeautifulchild—waiting.Theybroughtinthesyringeandaskedhertorolluphersleeve.

"Yousuggested,Jonas,thatperhapsshewasn'tbraveenough?Idon'tknowaboutbravery:whatitis,whatitmeans.IdoknowthatIsatherenumbwithhorror.Wretchedwithhelplessness.AndIlistenedasRosemarytoldthemthatshewouldprefertoinjectherself.

"Thenshedidso.Ididn'twatch.Ilookedaway."

TheGiverturnedtohim."Well,thereyouare,Jonas.Youwerewonderingaboutrelease,"hesaidinabittervoice.

Jonasfeltarippingsensationinsidehimself,thefeelingofterriblepainclawingitswayforwardtoemergeinacry.

20

"Iwon't!Iwon'tgohome!Youcan'tmakeme!"Jonassobbedandshoutedandpoundedthebedwithhisfists."Situp,Jonas,"TheGivertoldhimfirmly.

Jonasobeyedhim.Weeping,shuddering,hesatontheedgeofthebed.HewouldnotlookatTheGiver.

"Youmaystayheretonight.Iwanttotalktoyou.Butyoumustbequietnow,whileInotifyyourfamilyunit.Noonemusthearyoucry."

Jonaslookedupwildly."Nooneheardthatlittletwincry,either!Noonebutmyfather!"Hecollapsedinsobsagain.

TheGiverwaitedsilently.FinallyJonaswasabletoquiethimselfandhesathuddled,hisshouldersshaking.

TheGiverwenttothewallspeakerandclickedtheswitchtoON.

"Yes,Receiver.HowmayIhelpyou?"

"NotifythenewReceiver'sfamilyunitthathewillbestayingwithmetonight,foradditionaltraining."

"Iwilltakecareofthat,sir.Thankyouforyourinstructions,"thevoicesaid.

"Iwilltakecareofthat,sir.Iwilltakecareofthat,sir,"Jonasmimickedinacruel,sarcasticvoice."Iwilldowhateveryoulike,sir.Iwillkillpeople,sir.Oldpeople?Smallnewbornpeople?I'dbehappytokillthem,sir.Thankyouforyourinstructions,sir.HowmayIhelpy—"Hecouldn'tseemtostop.

TheGivergraspedhisshouldersfirmly.Jonasfellsilentandstaredathim.

"Listentome,Jonas.Theycan'thelpit.Theyknownothing."

"Yousaidthattomeoncebefore."

"Isaiditbecauseit'strue.It'sthewaytheylive.It'sthelifethatwascreatedforthem.It'sthesamelifethatyouwouldhave,ifyouhadnotbeenchosenasmysuccessor."

"Butheliedtome!"Jonaswept.

"It'swhathewastoldtodo,andheknowsnothingelse."

"Whataboutyou?Doyoulietome,too?"JonasalmostspatthequestionatTheGiver.

"Iamempoweredtolie.ButIhaveneverliedtoyou."

Jonasstaredathim."Releaseisalwayslikethat?Forpeoplewhobreaktherulesthreetimes?FortheOld?DotheykilltheOld,too?"

"Yes,it'strue."

"AndwhataboutFiona?ShelovestheOld!She'sintrainingtocareforthem.Doessheknowyet?Whatwillshedowhenshefindsout?Howwillshefeel?"Jonasbrushedwetnessfromhisfacewiththebackofonehand.

"Fionaisalreadybeingtrainedinthefineartofre-lease,"TheGivertoldhim."She'sveryefficientatherwork,yourred-hairedfriend.Feelingsarenotpartofthelifeshe'slearned."

Jonaswrappedhisarmsaroundhimselfandrockedhisownbodybackandforth."WhatshouldIdo?Ican'tgoback!Ican't!"

TheGiverstoodup."First,Iwillorderoureveningmeal.Thenwewilleat."

Jonasfoundhimselfusingthenasty,sarcasticvoiceagain."Thenwe'llhaveasharingoffeelings?"

TheGivergavearueful,anguished,emptylaugh."Jonas,youandIaretheonlyoneswhohavefeelings.We'vebeensharingthemnowforalmostayear."

"I'msorry,Giver,"Jonassaidmiserably."Idon'tmeantobesohateful.Nottoyou."

TheGiverrubbedJonas'shunchedshoulders."Andafterweeat,"hewenton,"we'llmakeaplan."

Jonaslookedup,puzzled."Aplanforwhat?There'snothing.There'snothingwecando.It'salwaysbeenthisway.Beforeme,beforeyou,beforetheoneswhocamebe-foreyou.Backandbackandback."Hisvoicetrailedthefamiliarphrase.

"Jonas,"TheGiversaid,afteramoment,"it'struethatithasbeenthis

wayforwhatseemsforever.Butthememoriestellusthatithasnotalwaysbeen.Peoplefeltthingsonce.YouandIhavebeenpartofthat,soweknow.Weknowthattheyoncefeltthingslikepride,andsorrow,and—"

"Andlove,"Jonasadded,rememberingthefamilyscenethathadsoaffectedhim."Andpain."Hethoughtagainofthesoldier.

"Theworstpartofholdingthememoriesisnotthe

pain.It'sthelonelinessofit.Memoriesneedtobeshared.""I'vestartedtosharethemwithyou,"Jonassaid,tryingtocheerhim.

"That'strue.Andhavingyouherewithmeoverthepastyearhasmademerealizethatthingsmustchange.ForyearsI'vefeltthattheyshould,butitseemedsohopeless.

"NowforthefirsttimeIthinktheremightbeaway,"TheGiversaidslowly."Andyoubroughtittomyattention,barely—"Heglancedattheclock."twohoursago."

Jonaswatchedhim,andlistened.

Itwaslateatnight,now.Theyhadtalkedandtalked.JonassatwrappedinarobebelongingtoTheGiver,thelongrobethatonlyElderswore.

Itwaspossible,whattheyhadplanned.Barelypossible.Ifitfailed,hewouldverylikelybekilled.

Butwhatdidthatmatter?Ifhestayed,hislifewasnolongerworthliving.

"Yes,"hetoldTheGiver."I'lldoit.IthinkIcandoit.I'lltry,anyway.ButIwantyoutocomewithme."

TheGivershookhishead."Jonas,"hesaid,"thecommunityhasdepended,allthesegenerations,backandbackandback,onaresidentReceivertoholdtheirmemoriesforthem.I'veturnedovermanyofthemtoyouinthepastyear.AndIcan'ttakethemback.There'snowayformetogetthembackifIhavegiventhem.

"Soifyouescape,onceyouaregone—and,Jonas,youknowthatyoucanneverreturn—"

Jonasnoddedsolemnly.Itwastheterrifyingpart."Yes,"hesaid,"Iknow.Butifyoucomewithme—"

TheGivershookhisheadandmadeagesturetosilencehim.Hecontinued."Ifyougetaway,ifyougetbeyond,ifyougettoElsewhere,itwillmeanthatthecommunityhas

tobeartheburdenthemselves,ofthememoriesyouhadbeenholdingforthem.

"Ithinkthattheycan,andthattheywillacquiresomewisdom.Butitwillbedesperatelyhardforthem.WhenwelostRosemarytenyearsago,andhermemoriesre-turnedtothepeople,theypanicked.Andthoseweresuchfewmemories,comparedtoyours.Whenyourmemoriesreturn,they'llneedhelp.RememberhowIhelpedyouinthebeginning,whenthereceivingofmemorieswasnewtoyou?"

Jonasnodded."Itwasscaryatfirst.Andithurtalot.""Youneededmethen.Andnowtheywill."

"It'snouse.They'llfindsomeonetotakemyplace.They'llchooseanewReceiver."

"There'snoonereadyfortraining,notrightaway.Oh,they'llspeeduptheselection,ofcourse.ButIcan'tthinkofanotherchildwhohastherightqualities—"

"There'salittlefemalewithpaleeyes.Butshe'sonlyaSix."

"That'scorrect.Iknowtheoneyoumean.HernameisKatharine.Butshe'stooyoung.Sotheywillbeforcedtobearthosememories."

"Iwantyoutocome,Giver,"Jonaspleaded.

"No.Ihavetostayhere,"TheGiversaidfirmly."Iwantto,Jonas.IfIgowithyou,andtogetherwetakeawayalltheirprotectionfromthememories,Jonas,thecommunitywillbeleftwithnoonetohelpthem.They'llbethrownintochaos.They'lldestroythemselves.Ican'tgo"

"Giver,"Jonassuggested,"youandIdon'tneedtocareabouttherestofthem."

TheGiverlookedathimwithaquestioningsmile.Jonashunghishead.Ofcoursetheyneededtocare.Itwasthemeaningofeverything.

"Andinanycase,Jonas,"TheGiversighed,"Iwouldn'tmakeit.I'mveryweakenednow.DoyouknowthatInolongerseecolors?"

Jonas'sheartbroke.HereachedforTheGiver'shand.

"Youhavethecolors,"TheGivertoldhim."Andyouhavethecourage.Iwillhelpyoutohavethestrength."

"Ayearago,"Jonasremindedhim,"whenIhadjustbecomeaTwelve,whenIbegantoseethefirstcolor,youtoldmethatthebeginninghadbeendifferentforyou.ButthatIwouldn'tunderstand."

TheGiverbrightened."That'strue.Anddoyouknow,Jonas,thatwithallyourknowledgenow,withallyourmemories,withallyou'velearned—stillyouwon'tunderstand?BecauseI'vebeenalittleselfish.Ihaven'tgivenanyofittoyou.Iwantedtokeepitformyselftothelast."

"Keepwhat?"

"WhenIwasjustaboy,youngerthanyou,itbegantocometome.Butitwasn'ttheseeing-beyondforme.Itwasdifferent.Forme,itwashearing-beyond."

Jonasfrowned,tryingtofigurethatout."Whatdidyouhear?"heasked.

"Music,"TheGiversaid,smiling."Ibegantohearsomethingtrulyremarkable,anditiscalledmusic.I'llgiveyousomebeforeIgo."

Jonasshookhisheademphatically."No,Giver,"hesaid."Iwantyoutokeepthat,tohavewithyou,whenI'mgone."

Jonaswenthomethenextmorning,cheerfullygreetedhisparents,andliedeasilyaboutwhatabusy,pleasantnighthehadhad.

Hisfathersmiledandliedeasily,too,abouthisbusyandpleasantdaythedaybefore.

Throughouttheschoolday,ashedidhislessons,Jonaswentovertheplaninhishead.Itseemedstartlinglysimple.JonasandTheGiverhadgoneoveritandoverit,lateintothenighthours.

Forthenexttwoweeks,asthetimefortheDecemberCeremonyapproached,TheGiverwouldtransfereverymemoryofcourageandstrengththathecouldtoJonas.HewouldneedthosetohelphimfindtheElsewherethattheywerebothsureexisted.Theyknewitwouldbeaverydifficultjourney.

Then,inthemiddleofthenightbeforetheCeremony,Jonaswouldsecretlyleavehisdwelling.Thiswasprobablythemostdangerouspart,becauseitwasaviolationofamajorruleforanycitizennotonofficialbusinesstoleaveadwellingatnight.

"I'llleaveatmidnight,"Jonassaid."TheFoodCollectorswillbefinishedpickinguptheevening-mealremainsbythen,andthePath-MaintenanceCrewsdon'tstarttheirworkthatearly.Sotherewon'tbeanyonetoseeme,unlessofcoursesomeoneisoutonemergencybusiness."

"Idon'tknowwhatyoushoulddoifyouareseen,Jonas,"TheGiverhadsaid."Ihavememories,ofcourse,ofallkindsofescapes.Peoplefleeingfromterriblethingsthroughouthistory.Buteverysituationisindividual.Thereisnomemoryofonelikethis."

"I'llbecareful,"Jonassaid."Noonewillseeme."

"AsReceiver-in-training,you'reheldinveryhighrespectalready.SoIthinkyouwouldn'tbequestionedveryforcefully."

"I'djustsayIwasonsomeimportanterrandfortheReceiver.I'dsayitwasallyourfaultthatIwasoutafterhours,"Jonasteased.

Theybothlaughedalittlenervously.ButJonaswascertainthathecouldslipaway,unseen,fromhishouse,carryinganextrasetofclothing.Silentlyhewouldtakehisbicycletotheriverbankandleaveittherehiddeninbusheswiththeclothingfoldedbesideit.

Thenhewouldmakehiswaythroughthedarkness,onfoot,silently,totheAnnex.

"There'snonighttimeattendant,"TheGiverexplained."I'llleavethedoorunlocked.Yousimplyslipintotheroom.I'llbewaitingforyou."

Hisparentswoulddiscover,whentheywoke,thathewasgone.TheywouldalsofindacheerfulnotefromJonasonhisbed,tellingthemthathewasgoingforanearlymorningridealongtheriver;thathewouldbebackfortheCeremony.

Hisparentswouldbeirritatedbutnotalarmed.Theywouldthinkhiminconsiderateandtheywouldplantochastisehim,later.

Theywouldwait,withmountinganger,forhim;finallytheywouldbeforcedtogo,takingLilytotheCeremonywithouthim.

"Theywon'tsayanythingtoanyone,though,"Jonassaid,quitecertain."Theywon'tcallattentiontomyrudenessbecauseitwouldreflectontheirparenting.Andany-way,everyoneissoinvolvedintheCeremonythatthey

probablywon'tnoticethatI'mnotthere.NowthatI'maTwelveandintraining,Idon'thavetositwithmyagegroupanymore.SoAsherwillthinkI'mwithmyparents,orwithyou—"

"Andyourparentswillassumeyou'rewithAsher,orwithme—"

Jonasshrugged."ItwilltakeeveryoneawhiletorealizethatI'mnotthereatall."

"AndyouandIwillbelongonourwaybythen."

Intheearlymorning,TheGiverwouldorderavehicleanddriverfromtheSpeaker.Hevisitedtheothercommunitiesfrequently,meetingwiththeirElders;hisresponsibilitiesextendedoverallthesurroundingareas.Sothiswouldnotbeanunusualundertaking.

OrdinarilyTheGiverdidnotattendtheDecemberCeremony.LastyearhehadbeenpresentbecauseoftheoccasionofJonas'sselection,inwhichhewassoinvolved.Buthislifewasusuallyquiteseparatefromthatofthecommunity.Noonewouldcommentonhisabsence,oronthefactthathehadchosenthisdaytobeaway.

Whenthedriverandvehiclearrived,TheGiverwouldsendthedriveronsomebrieferrand.Duringhisabsence,TheGiverwouldhelpJonas

hideinthestorageareaofthevehicle.HewouldhavewithhimabundleoffoodwhichTheGiverwouldsavefromhisownmealsduringthenexttwoweeks.

TheCeremonywouldbegin,withallthecommunitythere,andbythenJonasandTheGiverwouldbeontheirway.

BymiddayJonas'sabsencewouldbecomeapparent,andwouldbeacauseforseriousconcern.TheCeremonywouldnotbedisrupted—suchadisruptionwouldbeunthinkable.Butsearcherswouldbesentoutintothecommunity.

Bythetimehisbicycleandclothingwerefound,TheGiverwouldbereturning.Jonas,bythen,wouldbeonhisown,makinghisjourneyElsewhere.

TheGiver,onhisreturn,wouldfindthecommunityinastateofconfusionandpanic.Confrontedbyasituationwhichtheyhadneverfacedbefore,andhavingnomemoriesfromwhichtofindeithersolaceorwisdom,theywouldnotknowwhattodoandwouldseekhisadvice.

HewouldgototheAuditoriumwherethepeoplewouldbegathered,still.Hewouldstridetothestageandcommandtheirattention.

HewouldmakethesolemnannouncementthatJonashadbeenlostintheriver.HewouldimmediatelybegintheCeremonyofLoss.

"Jonas,Jonas,"theywouldsayloudly,astheyhadoncesaidthenameofCaleb.TheGiverwouldleadthechant.TogethertheywouldletJonas'spresenceintheirlivesfadeawayastheysaidhisnameinunisonmoreslowly,softerandsofter,untilhewasdisappearingfromthem,untilhewasnomorethananoccasionalmurmurandthen,bytheendofthelongday,goneforever,nottobementionedagain.

Theirattentionwouldturntotheoverwhelmingtaskofbearingthe

memoriesthemselves.TheGiverwouldhelpthem.

"Yes,Iunderstandthatthey'llneedyou,"Jonashadsaidattheendofthelengthydiscussionandplanning."But

I'llneedyou,too.Pleasecomewithme."Heknewtheanswerevenashemadethefinalplea.

"Myworkwillbefinished,"TheGiverhadrepliedgently,"whenIhavehelpedthecommunitytochangeandbecomewhole.

"I'mgratefultoyou,Jonas,becausewithoutyouIwouldneverhavefiguredoutawaytobringaboutthechange.Butyourrolenowistoescape.Andmyroleistostay."

"Butdon'tyouwanttobewithme,Giver?"Jonasaskedsadly.

TheGiverhuggedhim."Iloveyou,Jonas,"hesaid."ButIhaveanotherplacetogo.Whenmyworkhereisfinished,Iwanttobewithmydaughter."

Jonashadbeenstaringglumlyatthefloor.Nowhelookedup,startled."Ididn'tknowyouhadadaughter,Giver!Youtoldmethatyou'dhadaspouse.ButIneverknewaboutyourdaughter."

TheGiversmiled,andnodded.Forthefirsttimeintheirlongmonthstogether,Jonassawhimlooktrulyhappy.

"HernamewasRosemary,"TheGiversaid.

21

Itwouldwork.Theycouldmakeitwork,Jonastoldhim-selfagainandagainthroughouttheday.

Butthateveningeverythingchanged.Allofit—allthethingstheyhadthoughtthroughsometiculously—fellapart.

Thatnight,Jonaswasforcedtoflee.Heleftthedwellingshortlyaftertheskybecamedarkandthecommunitystill.Itwasterriblydangerousbecausesomeoftheworkcrewswerestillabout,buthemovedstealthilyandsilently,stayingintheshadows,makinghiswaypastthedarkeneddwellingsandtheemptyCentralPlaza,towardtheriver.BeyondthePlazahecouldseetheHouseoftheOld,withtheAnnexbehindit,outlinedagainstthenightsky.Buthecouldnotstopthere.Therewasnotime.Everyminutecountednow,andeveryminutemusttakehimfartherfromthecommunity.

Nowhewasonthebridge,hunchedoveronthebicycle,pedalingsteadily.Hecouldseethedark,churningwaterfarbelow.

Hefelt,surprisingly,nofear,noranyregretatleaving

thecommunitybehind.Buthefeltaverydeepsadnessthathehadlefthisclosestfriendbehind.Heknewthatinthedangerofhisescapehemustbeabsolutelysilent;butwithhisheartandmind,hecalledbackandhopedthatwithhiscapacityforhearing-beyond,TheGiverwouldknowthatJonashadsaidgoodbye.

Ithadhappenedattheeveningmeal.Thefamilyunitwaseatingtogetherasalways:Lilychatteringaway,MotherandFathermakingtheircustomarycomments(andlies,Jonasknew)abouttheday.Nearby,Gabrielplayedhappilyonthefloor,babblinghisbabytalk,lookingwithgleenowandthentowardJonas,obviouslydelightedtohavehimbackaftertheunexpectednightawayfromthedwelling.

Fatherglanceddowntowardthetoddler."Enjoyit,little

guy,"hesaid."Thisisyourlastnightasvisitor."

"Whatdoyoumean?"Jonasaskedhim.

Fathersighedwithdisappointment."Well,youknowhewasn'therewhenyougothomethismorningbecausewehadhimstayovernightattheNurturingCenter.Itseemedlikeagoodopportunity,withyougone,togiveitatry.He'dbeensleepingsosoundly."

"Didn'titgowell?"Motheraskedsympathetically.

Fathergavearuefullaugh."That'sanunderstatement.Itwasadisaster.Hecriedallnight,apparently.Thenightcrewcouldn'thandleit.TheywerereallyfrazzledbythetimeIgottowork."

"Gabe,younaughtything,"Lilysaid,withascoldinglittleclucktowardthegrinningtoddleronthefloor."So,"Fatherwenton,"weobviouslyhadtomakethe

decision.EvenIvotedforGabriel'sreleasewhenwehadthemeetingthisafternoon."

Jonasputdownhisforkandstaredathisfather."Re-lease?"heasked.

Fathernodded."Wecertainlygaveitourbesttry,didn'twe?"

"Yes,wedid,"Motheragreedemphatically.

Lilynoddedinagreement,too.

Jonasworkedatkeepinghisvoiceabsolutelycalm."When?"heasked."Whenwillhebereleased?"

"Firstthingtomorrowmorning.WehavetostartourpreparationsfortheNamingCeremony,sowethoughtwe'dgetthistakencareofrightaway.

"It'sbye-byetoyou,Gabe,inthemorning,"Fatherhadsaid,inhissweet,sing-songvoice.

Jonasreachedtheoppositesideoftheriver,stoppedbriefly,andlookedback.Thecommunitywherehisentirelifehadbeenlivedlaybehindhimnow,sleeping.Atdawn,theorderly,disciplinedlifehehadalwaysknownwouldcontinueagain,withouthim.Thelifewherenothingwaseverunexpected.Orinconvenient.Orunusual.Thelifewithoutcolor,pain,orpast.

Hepushedfirmlyagainatthepedalwithhisfootandcontinuedridingalongtheroad.Itwasnotsafetospendtimelookingback.Hethoughtoftheruleshehadbrokensofar:enoughthatifhewerecaught,now,hewouldbecondemned.

First,hehadleftthedwellingatnight.Amajortransgression.

Second,hehadrobbedthecommunityoffood:averyseriouscrime,eventhoughwhathehadtakenwasleftovers,setoutonthedwellingdoorstepsforcollection.

Third,hehadstolenhisfather'sbicycle.Hehadhesitatedforamoment,standingbesidethebikeportinthedarkness,notwantinganythingofhisfather'sanduncertain,aswell,whetherhecouldcomfortablyridethelargerbikewhenhewassoaccustomedtohisown.

Butitwasnecessarybecauseithadthechildseatattachedtotheback.

AndhehadtakenGabriel,too.

Hecouldfeelthelittleheadnudgehisback,bouncinggentlyagainsthimasherode.Gabrielwassleepingsoundly,strappedintotheseat.Beforehehadleftthedwelling,hehadlaidhishandsfirmlyonGabe'sbackandtransmittedtohimthemostsoothingmemoryhecould:aslow-swinginghammockunderpalmtreesonanislandsomeplace,atevening,

witharhythmicsoundoflanguidwaterlappinghypnoticallyagainstabeachnearby.Asthememoryseepedfromhimintothenewchild,hecouldfeelGabe'ssleepeaseanddeepen.TherehadbeennostiratallwhenJonasliftedhimfromthecribandplacedhimgentlyintothemoldedseat.

Heknewthathehadtheremaininghoursofnightbe-foretheywouldbeawareofhisescape.Soherodehard,steadily,willinghimselfnottotireastheminutesandmilespassed.TherehadbeennotimetoreceivethememoriesheandTheGiverhadcountedon,ofstrengthandcourage.Sohereliedonwhathehad,andhopeditwouldbeenough.

Hecircledtheoutlyingcommunities,theirdwellingsdark.Graduallythedistancesbetweencommunitieswidened,withlongerstretchesofemptyroad.Hislegsachedatfirst;then,astimepassed,theybecamenumb.

AtdawnGabrielbegantostir.Theywereinanisolatedplace;fieldsoneithersideoftheroadweredottedwiththicketsoftreeshereandthere.Hesawastream,andmadehiswaytoitacrossarutted,bumpymeadow;Gabriel,wideawakenow,giggledasthebicyclejoltedhimupanddown.

JonasunstrappedGabe,liftedhimfromthebike,andwatchedhiminvestigatethegrassandtwigswithdelight.Carefullyhehidthebicycleinthickbushes.

"Morningmeal,Gabe!"Heunwrappedsomeofthefoodandfedthemboth.ThenhefilledthecuphehadbroughtwithwaterfromthestreamandhelditforGabrieltodrink.Hedrankthirstilyhimself,andsatbythestream,watchingthenewchildplay.

Hewasexhausted.Heknewhemustsleep,restinghisownmusclesandpreparinghimselfformorehoursonthebicycle.Itwouldnotbesafetotravelindaylight.

Theywouldbelookingforhimsoon.

Hefoundaplacedeeplyhiddeninthetrees,tookthenewchildthere,andlaydown,holdingGabrielinhisarms.Gabestruggledcheerfullyasifitwereawrestlinggame,thekindtheyhadplayedbackinthedwelling,withticklesandlaughter.

"Sorry,Gabe,"Jonastoldhim."Iknowit'smorning,andIknowyoujustwokeup.Butwehavetosleepnow."

Hecuddledthesmallbodyclosetohim,andrubbedthelittleback.HemurmuredtoGabrielsoothingly.Then

hepressedhishandsfirmlyandtransmittedamemoryofdeep,contentedexhaustion.Gabriel'sheadnodded,afteramoment,andfellagainstJonas'schest.

Togetherthefugitivessleptthroughthefirstdangerousday.

Themostterrifyingthingwastheplanes.Bynow,dayshadpassed;Jonasnolongerknewhowmany.Thejourneyhadbecomeautomatic:thesleepbydays,hiddeninunderbrushandtrees;thefindingofwater;thecarefuldivisionofscrapsoffood,augmentedbywhathecouldfindinthefields.Andtheendless,endlessmilesonthebicyclebynight.

Hislegmusclesweretautnow.Theyachedwhenhesettledhimselftosleep.Buttheywerestronger,andhestoppednowlessoftentorest.SometimeshepausedandliftedGabrieldownforabriefbitofexercise,runningdowntheroadorthroughafieldtogetherinthedark.Butalways,whenhereturned,strappedtheuncomplainingtoddlerintotheseatagain,andremounted,hislegswereready.

Sohehadenoughstrengthofhisown,andhadnotneededwhatTheGivermighthaveprovided,hadtherebeentime.

Butwhentheplanescame,hewishedthathecouldhavereceivedthecourage.

Heknewtheyweresearchplanes.Theyflewsolowthattheywokehimwiththenoiseoftheirengines,andsome-times,lookingoutandupfearfullyfromthehidingplaces,hecouldalmostseethefacesofthesearchers.

Heknewthattheycouldnotseecolor,andthattheirflesh,aswellasGabriel'slightgoldencurls,wouldbenomorethansmearsofgrayagainstthecolorlessfoliage.Butherememberedfromhisscienceandtechnologystudiesatschoolthatthesearchplanesusedheat-seekingdeviceswhichcouldidentifybodywarmthandwouldhoneinontwohumanshuddledinshrubbery.

Soalways,whenheheardtheaircraftsound,hereachedtoGabrielandtransmittedmemoriesofsnow,keepingsomeforhimself.Togethertheybecamecold;andwhentheplanesweregone,theywouldshiver,holdingeachother,untilsleepcameagain.

Sometimes,urgingthememoriesintoGabriel,Jonasfeltthattheyweremoreshallow,alittleweakerthantheyhadbeen.Itwaswhathehadhoped,andwhatheandTheGiverhadplanned:thatashemovedawayfromthecommunity,hewouldshedthememoriesandleavethembe-hindforthepeople.Butnow,whenheneededthem,whentheplanescame,hetriedhardtoclingtowhathestillhad,ofcold,andtouseitfortheirsurvival.

Usuallytheaircraftcamebyday,whentheywerehiding.Buthewasalertatnight,too,ontheroad,alwayslisteningintentlyforthesoundoftheengines.EvenGabriellistened,andwouldcallout,"Plane!Plane!"sometimesbeforeJonashadheardtheterrifyingnoise.Whentheair-craftsearcherscame,astheydidoccasionally,duringthenightastheyrode,Jonasspedtothenearesttreeorbush,droppedtotheground,andmade

himselfandGabrielcold.Butitwassometimesafrighteninglyclosecall.

Ashepedaledthroughthenights,throughisolatedlandscapenow,withthecommunitiesfarbehindandnosignofhumanhabitationaroundhimorahead,hewasconstantlyvigilant,lookingforthenextnearesthidingplaceshouldthesoundofenginescome.

Butthefrequencyoftheplanesdiminished.Theycamelessoften,andflew,whentheydidcome,lessslowly,asifthesearchhadbecomehaphazardandnolongerhopeful.Finallytherewasanentiredayandnightwhentheydidnotcomeatall.

22

Nowthelandscapewaschanging.Itwasasubtlechange,hardtoidentifyatfirst.Theroadwasnarrower,andbumpy,apparentlynolongertendedbyroadcrews.Itwasharder,suddenly,tobalanceonthebike,asthefrontwheelwobbledoverstonesandruts.

OnenightJonasfell,whenthebikejoltedtoasuddenstopagainstarock.HegrabbedinstinctivelyforGabriel;andthenewchild,strappedtightlyinhisseat,wasuninjured,onlyfrightenedwhenthebikefelltoitsside.ButJonas'sanklewastwisted,andhiskneeswerescrapedandraw,bloodseepingthroughhistorntrousers.Painfullyherightedhimselfandthebike,andreassuredGabe.

Tentativelyhebegantorideindaylight.Hehadforgot-tenthefearofthesearchers,whoseemedtohavediminishedintothepast.Butnowtherewerenewfears;theunfamiliarlandscapeheldhidden,unknownperils.

Treesbecamemorenumerous,andtheforestsbesidetheroadweredarkandthickwithmystery.Theysawstreamsmorefrequentlynowandstoppedoftentodrink.Jonascarefullywashedhisinjuredknees,wincing

asherubbedattherawflesh.Theconstantacheofhisswollenanklewaseasedwhenhesoakeditoccasionallyinthecoldwaterthatrushedthroughroadsidegullies.

HewasnewlyawarethatGabriel'ssafetydependedentirelyuponhisowncontinuedstrength.

Theysawtheirfirstwaterfall,andforthefirsttimewildlife.

"Plane!Plane!"Gabrielcalled,andJonasturnedswiftlyintothetrees,thoughhehadnotseenplanesindays,andhedidnothearanaircraftenginenow.WhenhestoppedthebicycleintheshrubberyandturnedtograbGabe,hesawthesmallchubbyarmpointingtowardthesky.

Terrified,helookedup,butitwasnotaplaneatall.Thoughhehadneverseenonebefore,heidentifieditfromhisfadingmemories,forTheGiverhadgiventhemtohimoften.Itwasabird.

Soonthereweremanybirdsalongtheway,soaringoverhead,calling.Theysawdeer;andonce,besidetheroad,lookingatthemcuriousandunafraid,asmallreddish-browncreaturewithathicktail,whosenameJonasdidnotknow.Heslowedthebikeandtheystaredatonean-otheruntilthecreatureturnedawayanddisappearedintothewoods.

Allofitwasnewtohim.AfteralifeofSamenessandpredictability,hewasawedbythesurprisesthatlaybeyondeachcurveoftheroad.Heslowedthebikeagainandagaintolookwithwonderatwildflowers,toenjoythethroatywarbleofanewbirdnearby,ormerelytowatchthewaywindshiftedtheleavesinthetrees.Duringhistwelveyearsinthecommunity,hehadneverfeltsuchsimplemomentsofexquisitehappiness.

Butthereweredesperatefearsbuildinginhimnowaswell.Themostrelentlessofhisnewfearswasthattheywouldstarve.Nowthattheyhad

leftthecultivatedfields

behindthem,itwasalmostimpossibletofindfood.Theyfinishedthemeagerstoreofpotatoesandcarrotstheyhadsavedfromthelastagriculturalarea,andnowtheywerealwayshungry.

Jonaskneltbyastreamandtriedwithoutsuccesstocatchafishwithhishands.Frustrated,hethrewrocksintothewater,knowingevenashedidsothatitwasuseless.Finally,indesperation,hefashionedamakeshiftnet,loopingthestrandsofGabriel'sblanketaroundacurvedstick.

Aftercountlesstries,thenetyieldedtwofloppingsilveryfish.MethodicallyJonashackedthemtopieceswithasharprockandfedtherawshredstohimselfandtoGabriel.Theyatesomeberries,andtriedwithoutsuccesstocatchabird.

Atnight,whileGabrielsleptbesidehim,Jonaslayawake,torturedbyhunger,andrememberedhislifeinthecommunitywheremealsweredeliveredtoeachdwellingeveryday.

Hetriedtousetheflaggingpowerofhismemorytore-createmeals,andmanagedbrief,tantalizingfragments:banquetswithhugeroastedmeats;birthdaypartieswiththick-frostedcakes;andlushfruitspickedandeaten,sun-warmedanddripping,fromtrees.

Butwhenthememoryglimpsessubsided,hewasleftwiththegnawing,painfulemptiness.Jonasremembered,suddenlyandgrimly,thetimeinhischildhoodwhenhehadbeenchastisedformisusingaword.Thewordhadbeen"starving."Youhaveneverbeenstarving,hehadbeentold.Youwillneverbestarving.

Nowhewas.Ifhehadstayedinthecommunity,hewouldnotbe.Itwasassimpleasthat.Oncehehadyearnedforchoice.Then,whenhehadhad

achoice,hehadmadethewrongone:thechoicetoleave.Andnowhewasstarving.

Butifhehadstayed…

Histhoughtscontinued.Ifhehadstayed,hewouldhavestarvedinotherways.Hewouldhavelivedalifehungryforfeelings,forcolor,forlove.

AndGabriel?ForGabrieltherewouldhavebeennolifeatall.Sotherehadnotreallybeenachoice.

ItbecameastruggletoridethebicycleasJonasweakenedfromlackoffood,andrealizedatthesametimethathewasencounteringsomethinghehadforalongtimeyearnedtosee:hills.Hissprainedanklethrobbedasheforcedthepedaldownwardinaneffortthatwasalmostbeyondhim.

Andtheweatherwaschanging.Itrainedfortwodays.Jonashadneverseenrain,thoughhehadexperienceditofteninthememories.Hehadlikedthoserains,enjoyedthenewfeelingofit,butthiswasdifferent.HeandGabrielbecamecoldandwet,anditwashardtogetdry,evenwhensunshineoccasionallyfollowed.

Gabrielhadnotcriedduringthelongfrighteningjourney.Nowhedid.Hecriedbecausehewashungryandcoldandterriblyweak.Jonascried,too,forthesamereasons,andanotherreasonaswell.HeweptbecausehewasafraidnowthathecouldnotsaveGabriel.Henolongercaredabouthimself.

23

Jonasfeltmoreandmorecertainthatthedestinationlayaheadofhim,verynearnowinthenightthatwasapproaching.Noneofhissensesconfirmedit.Hesawnothingaheadexcepttheendlessribbonofroadunfoldingintwistingnarrowcurves.Heheardnosoundahead.

Yethefeltit:feltthatElsewherewasnotfaraway.Buthehadlittlehopeleftthathewouldbeabletoreachit.Hishopediminishedfurtherwhenthesharp,coldairbegantoblurandthickenwithswirlingwhite.

Gabriel,wrappedinhisinadequateblanket,washunched,shivering,andsilentinhislittleseat.Jonasstoppedthebikewearily,liftedthechilddown,andrealizedwithheartbreakhowcoldandweakGabehadbe-come.

Standinginthefreezingmoundthatwasthickeningaroundhisnumbfeet,Jonasopenedhisowntunic,heldGabrieltohisbarechest,andtiedthetornanddirtyblanketaroundthemboth.Gabrielmovedfeeblyagainsthimandwhimperedbrieflyintothesilencethatsurroundedthem.

Dimly,fromanearlyforgottenperceptionasblurredasthesubstanceitself,Jonasrecalledwhatthewhitenesswas.

"It'scalledsnow,Gabe,"Jonaswhispered."Snow-flakes.Theyfalldownfromthesky,andthey'reverybeautiful."

Therewasnoresponsefromthechildwhohadoncebeensocuriousandalert.Jonaslookeddownthroughtheduskatthelittleheadagainsthischest.Gabriel'scurlyhairwasmattedandfilthy,andthereweretearstainsout-linedindirtonhispalecheeks.Hiseyeswereclosed.AsJonaswatched,asnowflakedrifteddownandwascaughtbrieflyforamoment'ssparkleinthetinyflutteringeye-lashes.

Wearilyheremountedthebicycle.Asteephillloomedahead.Inthebestofconditions,thehillwouldhavebeenadifficult,demandingride.Butnowtherapidlydeepeningsnowobscuredthenarrowroadandmadetherideimpossible.Hisfrontwheelmovedforwardimperceptiblyashepushedonthepedalswithhisnumb,exhaustedlegs.Butthebicyclestopped.Itwouldnotmove.

Hegotoffandletitdropsidewaysintothesnow.Foramomenthethoughthoweasyitwouldbetodropbesideithimself,tolethimselfandGabrielslideintothesoftnessofsnow,thedarknessofnight,thewarmcomfortofsleep.

Buthehadcomethisfar.Hemusttrytogoon.

Thememorieshadfallenbehindhimnow,escapingfromhisprotectiontoreturntothepeopleofhiscommunity.Werethereanyleftatall?Couldheholdontoalastbitofwarmth?DidhestillhavethestrengthtoGive?CouldGabrielstillReceive?

HepressedhishandsintoGabriel'sbackandtriedtoremembersunshine.Foramomentitseemedthatnothingcametohim,thathispowerwascompletelygone.Thenitflickeredsuddenly,andhefelttinytonguesofheatbegintocreepacrossandintohisfrozenfeetandlegs.Hefelthisfacebegintoglowandthetense,coldskinofhisarmsandhandsrelax.Forafleetingsecondhefeltthathewantedtokeepitforhimself,tolethimselfbatheinsunlight,unburdenedbyanythingoranyoneelse.

Butthemomentpassedandwasfollowedbyanurge,aneed,apassionateyearningtosharethewarmthwiththeonepersonleftforhimtolove.Achingfromtheeffort,heforcedthememoryofwarmthintothethin,shiveringbodyinhisarms.

Gabrielstirred.Foramomenttheybothwerebathedinwarmthandrenewedstrengthastheystoodhuggingeachotherintheblindingsnow.

Jonasbegantowalkupthehill.

Thememorywasagonizinglybrief.Hehadtrudgednomorethanafewyardsthroughthenightwhenitwasgoneandtheywerecoldagain.

Buthismindwasalertnow.Warminghimselfeversobrieflyhad

shakenawaythelethargyandresignationandrestoredhiswilltosurvive.Hebegantowalkfasteronfeetthathecouldnolongerfeel.Butthehillwastreacherouslysteep;hewasimpededbythesnowandhisownlackofstrength.Hedidn'tmakeitveryfarbeforehestumbledandfellforward.

Onhisknees,unabletorise,Jonastriedasecondtime.Hisconsciousnessgraspedatawispofanotherwarmmemory,andtrieddesperatelytoholditthere,toenlargeit,andpassitintoGabriel.Hisspiritsandstrengthliftedwiththemomentarywarmthandhestood.Again,Gabrielstirredagainsthimashebegantoclimb.

Butthememoryfaded,leavinghimcolderthanbefore.

IfonlyhehadhadtimetoreceivemorewarmthfromTheGiverbeforeheescaped!Maybetherewouldbemoreleftforhimnow.Buttherewasnopurposeinif-onlys.Hisentireconcentrationnowhadtobeonmovinghisfeet,warmingGabrielandhimself,andgoingforward.

Heclimbed,stopped,andwarmedthembothbrieflyagain,withatinyscrapofmemorythatseemedcertainlytobeallhehadleft.

Thetopofthehillseemedsofaraway,andhedidnotknowwhatlaybeyond.Buttherewasnothinglefttodobutcontinue.Hetrudgedupward.

Asheapproachedthesummitofthehillatlast,some-thingbegantohappen.Hewasnotwarmer;ifanything,hefeltmorenumbandmorecold.Hewasnotlessexhausted;onthecontrary,hisstepswereleaden,andhecouldbarelymovehisfreezing,tiredlegs.

Buthebegan,suddenly,tofeelhappy.Hebegantore-callhappytimes.Herememberedhisparentsandhissister.Herememberedhisfriends,AsherandFiona.HerememberedTheGiver.

Memoriesofjoyfloodedthroughhimsuddenly.

Hereachedtheplacewherethehillcrestedandhecouldfeelthegroundunderhissnow-coveredfeetbecomelevel.Itwouldnotbeuphillanymore.

"We'realmostthere,Gabriel,"hewhispered,feelingquitecertainwithoutknowingwhy."Irememberthisplace,Gabe."Anditwastrue.Butitwasnotagraspingofathinandburdensomerecollection;thiswasdifferent.Thiswassomethingthathecouldkeep.Itwasamemoryofhisown.

HehuggedGabrielandrubbedhimbriskly,warminghim,tokeephimalive.Thewindwasbitterlycold.Thesnowswirled,blurringhisvision.Butsomewhereahead,throughtheblindingstorm,heknewtherewaswarmthandlight.

Usinghisfinalstrength,andaspecialknowledgethatwasdeepinsidehim,Jonasfoundthesledthatwaswaitingforthematthetopofthehill.Numblyhishandsfumbledfortherope.

HesettledhimselfonthesledandhuggedGabeclose.Thehillwassteepbutthesnowwaspowderyandsoft,andheknewthatthistimetherewouldbenoice,nofall,nopain.Insidehisfreezingbody,hisheartsurgedwithhope.

Theystarteddown.

Jonasfelthimselflosingconsciousnessandwithhiswholebeingwilledhimselftostayuprightatopthesled,clutchingGabriel,keepinghimsafe.Therunnersslicedthroughthesnowandthewindwhippedathisfaceastheyspedinastraightlinethroughanincisionthatseemedtoleadtothefinaldestination,theplacethathehadalwaysfeltwaswaiting,theElsewherethatheldtheirfutureandtheirpast.

Heforcedhiseyesopenastheywentdownward,down-ward,sliding,

andallatoncehecouldseelights,andherecognizedthemnow.Heknewtheywereshiningthroughthewindowsofrooms,thattheywerethered,blue,andyellowlightsthattwinkledfromtreesinplaceswherefamiliescreatedandkeptmemories,wheretheycelebratedlove.

Downward,downward,fasterandfaster.Suddenlyhewasawarewithcertaintyandjoythatbelow,ahead,theywerewaitingforhim;andthattheywerewaiting,too,forthebaby.Forthefirsttime,heheardsomethingthatheknewtobemusic.Heheardpeoplesinging.

Behindhim,acrossvastdistancesofspaceandtime,fromtheplacehehadleft,hethoughtheheardmusictoo.Butperhapsitwasonlyanecho.

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