The Family in Today’s Realities

The value of the family

• The family is a universal and basic element in man.• It is the basic unit of society serving as the link

between the individual and society because every person’s earliest and longest experience takes place within the family.

• Nothing else can replace the family as a center for the psycho-social development of people and as a transmitter of culture

Reality in the Filipino Family

MEDIA Movies = sex and violenceAdvertisements = more direct in selling commodities, services and ideas promoting a strong consumerist mentality .

That HAPPINESS can be found in accumulating wealth than on developing a caring and loving relationships with the people who touch their lives

Time is measured by the hour.

Weight is measured by the

pound.LIFE is measured

through our RELATIONSHIPS

Serious Threats

Materialism

• A preference for material possessions and physical comfort

Consumerism • The mentality of constant

buying and accumulating material things

SecularismExcessive concern with the affairs and

things of the world

HedonismBelief in pleasure as the ultimate good

and man’s life aim

According to this map, it’s

happiness ahead!

POVERTY

Unemployment or underemployment, drugs, AIDS, the changing socio-economic lifestyle, structure and

political unrest

TECHNOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENTS

Has brought an enhanced lifestyle of leisure and pleasure

Basic needs - health, nutrition, skills; physical, emotional, and personal development and group security; physical and psychological exploitation among individual members; injustice; break-ups, domestic violence, child abuse, single parenting, OFW”S and changing family structures.

TO COMMIT TO SUPPORT THE FAMILY

Even amidst so many difficulties and serious threats

The family will always remain in accordance with God’s will…

the sanctuary of life

Family as a great gift of God to mankind; an original gift marked by His blessing – Cardinal Sin

Children are blessings for the family and thus parents should look after the quality of the life of the children – Pres. Arroyo

Families mission is to become a community of love and life - Rev. Antonio

Family as the Cell of Society

First seeds of development are nurtured, where the child like a sponge absorbs everything necessary for its growthDevelops family values like truth, goodness and love

Contributes to the welfare of the larger society, members should reach out to others, social service, in favor of the poor and practice hospitality in all forms

The Family as the Domestic Church

Family as believing and evangelizing community

Involves in the Church’s Mission

Accepts and practices Gospel Values

Actively profess their faith and participate in the liturgical and sacramental celebration

Nourished and sustained by the grace of the Sacrament of the Eucharist and Reconciliation, and prayer both individually and in communion

CHRISTIAN FAMILY welcomes, respects and serves every human being, considering each one in his or her dignity as a person and as a Child of God

BUILDING FAMILY RELATIONS

Family Communications1.Monologue – only one

speaks and the other listens2.Duologue – both are talking

simultaneously and no one wants to listen

3.Dialogue – one speaks while the other listens, after which the other one also speaks and the other also listens

Communication

Its is a basic human desire to express oneself whatever form it takes. One wants to be listened to, to be understood, to be recognized, to feel important to be in good relationships with others

It is the verbal and non-verbal way of expressing or transferring meanings and feelings; a process that allows people to know each other, to relate to one another, to understand the true meaning of the other person’s life

Communication

LISTENING A good listener listen not only to the sound of spoken words but also to the sound of silence.

NON-VERBAL SIGNS to discern not only what is expressed orally but what is shown in the eyes, facial expression,gestures,mannerisms,smile,smirk, postures

DIRECTNESSDoes not resort to hazy suggestions and innuendoes that contaminate the message, which can be disastrous.

CLARITYConcise and clear. Verbosity and decorative words cause confusion and distraction.

1. CLICHÉ LEVEL - small talk shallow conversation ( Hello!, How are you?) Sometimes meaningless, usually happens to acquaintances

No sharing of persons at all

2. FACTS LEVEL – Information is shared but not

personal comment. Telling and talking about others – Gossiping Focus is still on events outside of oneself No personal revelation of feelings/emotions Usually men settle for this type as they are

less expressive of their feelings

3. IDEA / OPINION Level Real communication starts here Speaker starts to share a part of

himself Takes the risk to explore thoughts

and opinions

4. Feeling/Emotion Level or Gut levelDescribes what is going on inside: feelings about people, situationSharing joys, sorrows and resentment

Can be a venue for better and even mutual understanding.

Here one feels worthy, loved & appreciated & safe in his partners appreciationI care about you. I feel frustrated

PEAK LEVEL

Perfect mutual empathyHighest levelAbsolute openness, honesty, and frankness

Type of communication that husband and wife should strive to achieve

To speak without words through gestures, postures and facial expression. ( smile,

wink or pat on the back)

Husband and wife should maintain time to find intellectual stimulation and newness.

They should share ideas gathered from their work/profession and interests

This is the time to play. Retaining the child within, its playfulness, creativity, wonder, laughter, spontaneity, trust, adventure and newness is essential for maintaining the vibrancy and fun of a relationship.

This involves the intimate giving of oneself and receiving from the beloved through a conjugal relationship. By being totally honest and caring in sexual communication, couples can learn what is really pleasing to one another and grow so much closer together.

This is the highest form of communication. A couple may feel closest to God when saying prayers together by the cradle of their newborn baby. Sharing spiritual insights or experiences of the day, of joy or sorrow, makes God present and available.

Since emotions form a fiber of man’s being, they play an important role in communication. A husband’s anger at his wife’s disinterestedness, for instance, can become the springboard for honest communication. Tender thoughts and feelings written and exchange can enhance and deepen their love for each other.

Couples should share mutual or diverse interest; this serves as a source of situation and growth in communication.

Social communication is the predominant mode of communication before marriage. Social communication goes beyond the couple themselves to the world outside and brings the couple into communication with others who walk beside them in the world.

Cultural communication leads us to a dialogue of mutual appreciation that takes the couple into one another’s family and ethnic background, which has brought them to where they are. Sharing traditions leads to appreciation and understanding.

The way man views his world is often different from the woman’s and vice-versa. The different points of view, when exposed, offer excellent opportunity for communication and lead for

greater understanding and closeness.

1. Communication builds up and develops an authentic Relationship between couples:

- enables couples to express their love for each other.

- Helps them keep in touch and support their lives together as husband and wife.

-As they talk about the many aspects of their lives their sense of commitment & care for each other deepens and grows.

- regular communication helps married couples grow in unity which is based on a relationship with Christ.

-Good communication minimizes and recognizes disagreements and differences.

- “It is the breath of life” in marriage. No marriage will survive without it.

--Good communication is a give & take listening and

sharing.

2. Communication is a way of creating a climate of faith, understanding and trust between couples

- Open and Honest communication puts charity. Love, trust & faith into

practice.

3. Prayer as communication with God strengthens the marriage/relationship and enables one to

discern God’s will in life’s daily events.

- Prayer, one of the greatest tools in God’s grace.

- Communication with God in prayer is:

• Spending quality time with him personally as a family (a family that prays together stays together)

• Listening to his Word

• Eucharist.

ACTIVITY• Knowing yourself is the

beginning of good communication.

1. List down 2-3 strengths you have which you consider effective aids to family communication.

2. Write down a list of 2-3 weaknesses you have which you consider to be obstacles to family communication.

QUIZ

C. What is it that you don’t like in your family now and how will you prevent it?

D. Compose a prayer for your family

A. Describe yourself, and tell me something about your family.

B. What is it in your family right now, which you like and that you want to inculcate in your future family, and how will you do it?