The Doors of Joy: 19 Meditations for Authentic Living
Transcript of The Doors of Joy: 19 Meditations for Authentic Living
TheDoorsofJoy19MEDITATIONSFORAUTHENTICLIVING
DANIELODIER
AbouttheAuthor
DanielOdierwasborninGenevain1945.Heisanovelist,screenwriterandpoet,andhaspublishedover46worksincludingthebestsellingTantricQuest
(InnerTraditions),andDesire:TheTantricPathtoAwakening(InnerTraditions).AnaisNincalledhim“anoutstandingwriteranddazzlingpoet”.TheauthorbeganhisstudieswithKaluRinpochein1968andremainedhisdiscipleuntilhispassingin1989.In2004,OdierreceivedtheCh’anordinationintheLint’siandCaodongschoolsinChina,aswellaspermissiontoteachtheZhaoZhou
Ch’anlineageintheWest.DanieltaughtTantraandBuddhisminseveralAmericanUniversitiesin1995.Hecontinuestorunworkshopsandseminarsin
Europe,CanadaandtheUnitedStates.
Tableofcontents
Preface
1.JoyattheHeartofEverything2.OrganicJoy
3.DevelopingInternalSilence4.FreeingOneselfofCertainties
5.DoWeHaveaChoice?6.LookingfortheTruth7.SpontaneityandFear8.TheIllusionofChange9.ThePowerofDesire10.WhatisReal?
11.Thoughts,EmotionsandSensations12.DevelopingPresenceintheWorld13.Joy,TowardsaGreaterPerfection
14.ABalanceBetweenAutomaticPilotandConsciousness15.CreativeJoy
16.TheReintegrationofChaos17.Consciousness
18.Love19.BodyandMind
Preface
DURINGTHELASTTWENTYYEARS,IhavetaughtinEurope,theUnitedStatesandSouth America. I slowly realised that, although teaching was meant to beliberating,itwasreallyjustarepackagingofanewtheoryoftheworld.Thishas,inturn,creatednewshacklesthatkeephumanbeingsinacloseduniverse.I discovered Zen when I was fifteen years old through the monumental
writingsofD.T.Suzuki.Fromthattimeon,Ifelt theiconoclasticpoweroftheoldChinesemasterswhopromoted the completedeconditioningof anybelief,includingBuddhism.ButIwasstilltooyoungtorenounceanidealsystemthatwouldallowmetoachieveinnerpeace.Later on, I belonged to the first wave of Western invaders who hoped to
discoverwisdomontheroadsofIndia.IencounteredDzogchen,personifiedbyDudjomRinpocheandChatralRinpoche, theVignanBhairavTantra, thanks totheChineseyogi,C.M.Chen,andfinally,theVajrayanataughtbytheonewhowouldbecomemymaster,KaluRinpoche.IfollowedthatpathforsevenyearsandIlearnedagreatdealfromthismagnificenthumanbeingwhoradiatedtotallove.Littlebylittle,themagicaluniverseoftheTibetansfeltincreasinglydistantfromWestern thinking and I turned towards the Shaivism ofKashmir, whosephilosophy, strippedofanyculturalmarkings, touchedmedeeply. ImetLalitaDevi,ayoginiwholivedasahermitandwhopassedontomethespandaandpratyabhijnaways.Herextreme,directapproachwentstraight to thepointandavoidedallspiritualtraps.Sheknewhowtodebunkconditionings;bysheddinglightonfears,sheforcedonetobefearless;shedestroyedthefaçadebygivingaccesstospontaneity.ThiswasnotanapproachIwasusedtolearningbutratheran introduction to asceticism, a renunciation of all fixations. The goalwas tobecome a human being again, to be fully open to theworld, alive and full ofdesire and passion,without the smallest pretension of being anything else butspontaneous.Afterourseparation,andfacedwiththeimplausibilityoffindingheragain,I
feltoncemoretheattractionofZenandenteredseveralcommunitiesinordertodeepenthatpractice.Ihadtheopportunitytoobservethatadheringtobeliefsandruleslimitedconsciousness.Irealisedthatsystemswouldreconstructthemselvesinside me and that this constant quest prevented all authentic liberation. Theconformityandpuritanismofthesespiritualcirclesalwaysfelttoo‘religious’for
me.Oneessentialingredientwasmissing:joy.While teaching, Icouldseehowdifficult itwasformenot tobuildsystems
similar to those thathad limitedme inmyquest. I could see thatmy studentswould inevitably adhere to the propensity we all have of building conceptuallimitationsinordertogivemorevaluetoourknowledgeandexperience.Overtime,asIwasgettingclosertoChan(ChineseZen)andtotheessenceof
theKashmirShaivism, Ibecamemoreandmore iconoclastic, and transformedmyselfintoaspiritualanarchistwhoseonlyambitionwastoreachanauthenticfreedom by forgetting the path that had always been followed. I would oftenrecall the words of Montaigne: ‘I am a man and nothing that is human isindifferenttome’.Itappearedmoreandmoreevident tomethat itwasessential toescapeany
limitations and that joy was the only natural thing to reach for. The spiritualdiscourse seemed tome like a fatal trap. Spending timewith the oldChinesemastersoftheTangdynastyexposedmemoreandmoretothisbizarrefreedom.In2005, Iwent toChina tomeet JingHui, theonly living successor of the
iconicmasterofthetwentieth-centuryHsuYun,andIsawinhimtheincarnationofthefreedomoftheancientphilosophers.IbecamehisdiscipleandeventuallyIwasordainedaChanmaster.Sincethattime,freeofallattachments,IventureonlytohelpthoseImeetto
findspontaneity,joyandfreedom.
1.
JoyattheHeartofEverything
JOY OCCUPIES A CENTRAL PLACE in this quest for the absolute that is theunderpinningof all life. It cannotbecompared topleasureorhappiness, sincethesedependonexternalcircumstancesandareephemeral.Joyisattheheartofanysearch,andistheclearestsignthatahumanbeinghasreachedtheharmonyderivedfromhisphilosophical,artisticandspiritualpractices.Whatissospecialaboutjoyisthat,likeanyotheressentialelement,wecan
alwaysfinditagain.Wearebornwiththisgift,butweneglectitandseekmoretransientpleasures.Thedisappointmentsbroughtaboutbyfleetingpleasuresandthe superficial idea of happiness make us forget joy, which needs constantcreativitytoflourish.Whenonemeetsajoyousperson,oneobservesthatjoyaloneisindependent
ofanyexternalfactor;itflourishesregardlessofexternalcircumstancesand,inspiteofthefactthatitcanfluctuate,nothingcandestroyit.Itistheoppositeofmelancholia, with its lack of connection to the circumstances of our lives.Neither the joyous nor the melancholic person needs positive or negativeelementstodeterminetheirstate.Onemightthenwonderfromwherethisindependencestems?Joyassumesa
richnessofconnections,amultitudeoffactorsthatcanceloutthedestructivenessofdisappointmentorsadness;itistobefoundatthecentreofaswarmofbliss.Joy is connected to our presence in the world. It stems directly from it. Torediscover joy, we need to rediscover or develop our ability to embrace thebroadest area of reality at our disposal. Joy requires practice. There are alsomultipleobstaclestojoythatcanbedefeatedoneaftertheotheraslongaswehaveintuitionandaclearperceptionofwhattheyare.
Joyrestoresaninnocencethatcomesfromabizarrewisdom:anexperienceoflifeinallitsdimensions.Thisinnocenceisnotignoranceofthetragic;onthecontrary,it’sasharpperceptionofthishumandynamic.Onecouldevensaythatthiselementisinseparablefromjoy.Withoutthisbalance,joywouldstillbea
fragileassetcontrolledbycircumstances.
Authenticjoyisaspacewhereeverythingcanbecomemanifest,apermanentdisplayoffireworksthatdoesnotgarishlytainttheskybutallowsustodiscoverthatithasnolimits.Joydoesnottoleratehalfmeasures.Onecannotbepartiallyjoyous.Whenjoydoesnottakeoverthewholebeing,itisonlyoneofthemasksof happiness. Joy implies creativity and the courage of freeing oneself frommany of our own concepts and conditionings.One can only access it throughsteadfastfearlessness.
ExaminingJoy
WhenIliveajoyousmoment,doIreconnecttootherjoyousmomentsandtothesourceofjoy?
Doesthesourceofjoyseemdependentonanobject,orisitadeeper,innateandindependentfeeling?
Doesmyjoydependonmypresenceintheworld?DoesitincreaseinthemomentswhenIamtotallypresent,ordoesitdecreasewhenIamdistractedor
perturbed?
AmIundertheimpressionthatjoyisconditional,dependingontheintensityofthepresentexperiences,ordoesitcompletelyoverwhelmmewithoutany
apparentreason?
IfImadealistofeventsthatevokejoyinme,whatwouldbeonthatlist?
Onthislist,howmanyeventsdependonothers?
2.
OrganicJoy
THE SIMPLEST JOY, THE MOST basic and essential, is organic joy. It is the firstemotion felt by the child and it progressively disappears because of externalinfluences and the anguish the child receives immediately after birth. Thisorganicjoymanifestsitselfpowerfullyduringadolescenceandsporadicallylateron.Religions negate anddepreciate the body, for they see it as an obstacle toabsolute purity and, therefore, they contribute to poisoning our perception oforganic joy. The body becomes tense, limits its experience of the world,developsthesensethatitisirreparablyflawedandthatitmustbesacrificedforthebenefitofthemind.Thebodygraduallylearnstofeelaliveonlythroughpainandthat,atleast,givesusasign:Isuffer,thereforeIamalive.Thefirststep towardsenhancing joyconsists in reconnectingwith thebody,
accepting it, and recognising its inalienable right to life; that is, beingcourageousanddetermined to realiseone’sownnature.Moral injunctionswillappearasaseriesofsubtleobstacles.Itwillbenecessarytodecipherthemandbring them to light. We need to listen attentively to our internal voice thatconstantlyattemptstohinderthecommunicationofthebodywithwhatisreal.Where does this voice come from that states: You don’t have the right to bealive.Isitthevoiceofourparents,ofourteachersoroftheclergy-thosewithwhomwehaverubbedshoulders?Orcoulditbethemanifestationofourdeepestfearsof living lifeat its fullest?Or is it this famousdeathwish thatescortsusthrough life?Themorewe listen to this voice, themorewe can recognise itsabsurdity. It is thevoiceof the internaldialogue,ourownvoice.Thereforewecanallowittobesilent.Whatgivesmeaningtolifeisouracceptanceofbeingfullyalive.Sowhendeathcomes,weshan’tregretthatwedidnotlivefully.Onceweareabletogobeyondthatfirststep,whenwehavegivenourselvesa
fullrighttolife,wewillrealisethatourbodyandourcapacitytofeelthepulseof life and our emotions were anesthetised by years of sensory, mental andemotional deprivation. We will then realise we were given the illusion of afragilesecurity,readytoexplodeundertheslightestshock.
Onourroadtojoy,wemustfirstabandontheverynotionofsecurity.Lifeisbeautiful to the extent that it is dangerous. I remember having once seen ateenager who proudly displayed a T-shirt that she had painted herself stating:‘Whatdoesnotscaremeisofnointeresttome.’Letusremindourselvesofthatcourageinordertobegintotasteorganicjoy.Ourbodyisamarvellousandelusiveinstrument.Itisabletoguideusinour
decisions with precision and speed, thanks to its immediacy. The body onlyknowstwowords:yesandno.Itdoesnotknowhesitationorindecision.Itswayofsayingyesistoopenup,whileitswayofsayingnoistocloseup.Thisdirectmessagemanifestsitselfinlessthanasecond,whileourbrainisstillreflecting,scanningthepast,scouringstatistics,establishingrisksoffailure,onlytoendupaftermanyminutes,evenhours,proposingamoreprudentsolutionthatweareverylikelytoadopt.Letusallowourbodytooperateaccordingtoitsrapidmodeandletustrustitinordertounblockthemind.Thisisourfirstexercisetowardsjoy. We will be scared! We will be under the impression that we are actingfoolishly! Slowly, we will rediscover the fundamental pleasure of havingreconnectedwithourbody.Bytrustingthebodywewillrapidlydevelopourcapacitytocapturewhatis
real.Ourlifewillbecomelesspredictableforourselvesaswellasforothers.Wewill be astonished by the accuracy of our bodily responses and we willprogressivelysmileattheineffectivecomplexityofourmentalprocesses.Letusreserve ourmind for all themarvellous things it can do and let us provide itmomentswhenitcanrest.Forcingit toworknon-stopforsixteenhoursaday,ourmind really deserves timeoff.A largepart of the stress and tiredness thatlimitsusstemsfromtheconstantandincessantdiscoursethatkeepsusbuzzingdayandnight.Thebodycanonly relaxwhen there is silence.Weareused toputting it in a state of stupor through the use of alcohol, drugs, images andsounds,whenwhatitsimplyneedsistodrinkatthefreshfountainofsilence.Gradually, we will appreciate tasting the silence of our mind, no longer
imposing the fears and boundaries that it fabricates by analysing the past.Organicjoyrequiresthemindtobesereneandtranquil.Ithasbeenofgreathelpuntil this time, but we have put it to forced labour. Themind, like any otherworker,deserveshoursofrest.Thereisnolabourunionprotectingthemind.Soletusstopexertinganinternaldictatorshipbeforewerevoltagainsttheexternalone.
QuestionsforourBody
Today,whatwerethemomentsofprofoundsatisfaction,ofpleasureorofjoy?Isthereadifferencebetweensuchmomentsofsatisfactionandthesefeelingsof
pleasureandjoy?
Whatistherelationshipbetweenrelaxingmybreathingandmyinternalsensations?
WhenIinhale,doIrelaxthedeepmusclesoftheabdomen,thosejustabovethepubicbone,ordoItightenthem?
Howdoesababybreathe?Ananimal?ByrelaxingthestomachwhenIinhaleorbypullingitin?Whichoneisnaturalbreathing?
Beingpresentdependsontherelaxationofthebreath.WhatwouldhappenifIattemptedtobeconsciousofmybreathtwentyorthirtytimesaday,forfifteento
twentyseconds?
Afterseveraldays’practice,wouldmypresenceintheworldbegintochange?
3.
DevelopingInternalSilence
HOWDOESONEDEVELOPTHEsilence thatallowsfor theblossomingoforganicjoy?Bycloselyobservingtheactivityofourinternaldiscourseandbybecomingconscious of its ongoing repetitiveness.We knowhow to escape the drivel ofeverydaylife,butwhyisitthatwearecompletelyunabletoescapeourinternaldiscoursewhich is so predictable and boring? It is depressing to listen to thisvoice.Wewillcome to realise thatwearecompletelyunder the thumbof thisexpressionoffear.It is easy to diagnose fear. It has an immediate connection with our
manifestations of hope. The more we hope, the more frightened we become.Hope is a fear that has been subverted. It signifies a lack of presence in theworld,anabsenceof joy,acontinuoussearchfor thesatisfactionofhappiness.Sinceinfinitydoesnoteverconnectwithus,weseldomreceivewhatwewishedfor,meaningweareconstantlyfrustrated.Whenwewaitcontinuallyforbeauty,we become blinded to the wonders that surround us, while waiting for afantasisedhappiness.Assoonaswegiveawarenesstoourbody,wediscoverthatwelacknothing
webelieveweneed.Theeverydaytracesofbeautyaresufficientinbringingusjoy.Wehaveabody!It iscapableofmoving,feeling, tasting,seeing, listeningandsmellingthethousandperfumesoftheworld.Ourbodycanalsosleep,wakeup, sensewater spilling over the skin, it can eat, drink,walk, look at the sky,touchotherhumanbeings,makelove,plungedeeplyintoanotherperson’seyes,listen to music; observe a bud flowering. Bodily sensations can also migrateexternallyfromtheskintowardsourinternalorgans.Weareabletoexperiencethefullnessoftheebbandflowofbloodandofotherliquids.Wecanenjoyandappreciateourbreathing,controlit,allowittogetindeeper,inconnectionwithouremotions.Wecanfeelthemovementofourdiaphragm,mixingtheenergyofthelowerbodywiththatoftheupperbody.Wecanfeelourtongue,allowittorelax,besurprisedbytheluminousflashesthatappearonoureyeballswhenthepineal gland is stimulated. The relaxation of the tongue is essential for the
relaxationofthewholehead.Themoreweattendtowhatishappeninginsideus,themoreourmindwillbe
blessedbyawell-deservedsilence.Itwill thenbeinsplendidformtofunctionwhenwereallyneedit.Aliveandfresh,preciseandcreative.Overworkeditwillbarelydeliverminimalservice.Ourbodyisabletofeelthequiveringoflife;itcanbesurprisedandawakened
toasenseofwonder.Wonderisthesurestsignofareturntoorganicjoy.
QuestionsfortheMind
WhatdoIrealisewhenIobservetheconnectionbetweentheinternaldiscourseofmymindandmyfrequentemotions?AmIconsciousofmybodilypresence?
WhathappensifIobservehowmybodyisfeelingwhilemyemotionsarehighandwhatIthenavoidlearningfromthisexperience?
WhenIshareanemotionwithafriend,whatpartdoescreativityplayinmystory?
Aftersharingthisemotionseveraltimes,doIincreasethecomplexityofthestorybyaddingdetailsthatwerenotpresentthefirsttimearound?
AsIbecomeconsciousofthenarrativeaspectsofanemotion,doesthisbringmebacktothesensation,thepathoftheemotioninmybody.AmIawareofthe
tensingandrelaxingofmymuscles?
Whatisthepathofanemotioninsidemybody?Whatarethesensitivepointsinmybodythatrespondtodifferentemotions?
DoesconcentratingonlyonwhatIfeelhelpmetogivelessthoughttotheemotionandtoitsdescription?
4.
FreeingOneselfofCertainties
AREBELIEFS,DOGMASANDCERTAINTIES anefficientway toconfront reality? Itwouldseemthatsincerealityisfluid,therigidityofourconceptsmightcauseusalotoftroubleinadjusting.Withthisrigidfunctioning,weopposeaflowthatignores any other possible system. Our certainties get brushed aside by atempest.Ourlackofsupplenessputsusinpermanentconflictwithreality.Thedevelopmentof joy isdirectlyproportional to therelinquishmentofour
concepts of the world. Why are we so stubbornly attached to our rigidstructures? Ever since we accessed language, we have been nourished by thecertainty thatasystemof theworld isessential forourbalanceandhappiness.Themorerigidourcertaintiesbecome,themoreproblemswehavewitharealitythatrefusestoenterintoourplans.On the contrary,wouldwisdomnot advocate abandoning theweight of this
mentalmachinery?ThisisoneofthecentralteachingsofChineseZen:toleavebehindanyconceptionoftheworldandtofullyenterreality.Thisisthekeytofreedomandcreativity. It isalso thekey to joy.Whenyougiveup the ideaofhaving a concept of the world, there is no problem with dealing with realitysince there isnomental formationgivingyoua signal that realityought tobedifferentfromwhatitis.Howcanwealleviateourselvesofourrigidconceptsoftheworld?Weneed
to examine carefully howour concepts create interferences, then observe howtheseinterferencesdevelopintoconflictsthatweareunabletoresolveandhowthey add to the weight of our life, to our lack of satisfaction and to ourfrustrations.Byanattentiveexaminationofhowwe function,wecandiscoverhowineffectivethisallis.Whenweclearlyrealisethatthisslowsdownourlifeand thatweblockourselves,wewillno longerchallenge realitywithsomanyconceptsandwewillimmediatelynoticemorefluidityinourbehaviour.This acceptance of the creativity of life is very stimulating from mental,
emotional and physical standpoints. It allows us to discover that there is animmediatelessontobediscoveredbehindeachexperience,evenifwegiveita
negative label. We also observe that no experience is completely negative.Something positive will always emerge, even in the most catastrophic ofcircumstances.Fukushimawasahumanandecologicaldisaster,yetwecannotdeny that it helped the awakening of an acute consciousness of the danger ofnuclear power and tipped thebalanceof somegovernments, such asGermanyandSwitzerland, towardsapolicyofnucleardisengagement.Thebreakupofaloveaffairmaycauseintensepersonalsuffering,whileatthesametimeallowingtheemergenceofagreatrenewalandanewlyfoundindependence.
‘Menbelieveinsomethingtoforgetwhotheyare.Theyburythemselvesinideals,getnestedinidolsandkilltimethroughthe
reinforcementofbeliefs.Nothingwouldthreatenthemmorethantobeconfrontedbyapureexistencethatwouldannihilatetheirpleasant
self-deception.’
CIORAN
ExaminingBeliefsandCertainties
IfImadealistofeverythingthatistheessentialframeofmylife–dogmas,beliefsandcertainties–whatwoulditreveal?
IfIconsidereachofthemandtrytoconnectthemwithhowIactinlife,wouldIfindthattheyhavehelpedmetobemorecongruentandmoreauthentic?
Orarethereelementsinthislistthatcreatedistanceandseparationfromothers?
DoesmyabilitytolistentootherschangewhenIdonothavepreciseinformationonthetopic?
Inanencounter,adinneroratimeofsharing,howmuchtimeisspentdefendingconcepts?
AmIupsetandtroubledwhensomeonedoesnotsharemyideas?DoIneedtoconvincethatperson?
AmIabletoconsiderthathisorherconceptmightbeasdefensibleasmine?
IfIabandonmyviewpoint,whatischangedintheconnectionandinthewaymybodyfeels?
5.
DoWeHaveaChoice?
GOINGWITHTHEFLOWOFlifedoesnotinhibitaction.Quitethecontrary,butthisraisesafundamentalquestionaboutchoice:dowereallyhaveachoice?Oneofthebedrockideasofourcultureisthatwehavefreewill.Halftheworlddefinesfreedom as having freedom of choice. The other half bases freedom on theabsenceofchoice.Whatconceptshouldwefollowtoexperiencefreedom?Thebeliefinatheorycomplicatesthematter.Theoldagainstthenewwillbe
opposite,whetheroneisChineseorWestern.Tomakeitsimpler,letusconsideramomentwhenwearesure thatwehavemadeachoice.Letus takeasimpleexample: thebreakupofa loveaffair.Whendidwedecide to leave theother?When we packed our suitcase? Several months earlier? Following anaccumulationofdifferencesanddisappointmentsoremotionalupheavals?Whendidwehavethefirst ideaofabreakup?Whendidthetruepicturethatwehadprojectedbecometooreal?Wasthereanintuitionthatweignoredwhenwefirstmet? To what extent is our desire for a separation conditioned by past loverelationships?Isthereaconnectionwiththeemotionalwoundsofchildhoodandadolescence? With our fear of abandonment? With the shock of separationduringtheexperienceofbirth?Asweproceedwiththisexamination,wewilldiscoverthatwecannotfindthe
moment of choice, whether for the great moments of life or for the simplestdecisions.WhyshouldIfeellikeputtingsugarinmycoffeetodaywhenIdon’tusuallydoso?Ineverysituationwehavetogobacktothebeginningoflife.The idea that we don’t have a choice is based on the interconnection of
everything. Since everything is connected, everything has an influence on thewhole and conditions it. We are swept away in a gigantic whirlwind andtransportedtotheunknownfrominstanttoinstant.Wherewouldonethenplaceapersonalchoice?The absence of choice abolishes guilt, ours as well as others’. We can no
longerhold theother responsible forourpain.Heor she isbeingpushedbyaforce much larger than his own person or ours. Therefore, there is absolute
freedom.Suchaconcept,however, isuseless. Itwouldonly lead toadditionalinternalconflict.Sowhatcanwedo?Lookatreality,paycloseattentiontoevents,gowiththeflowofthingsthen
ceaseexhaustingourstrengthinfightingagainstit.Aprofoundjoyemergesfromthat surrender. We can no longer pretend that we are in charge, that we canimposeourwill.Wewill allowourselves tobecome sensitive to the creativitythat opens upwithin us.We explorewhat is present rather than running afterwhatisabsent.
InterrogatingourChoices
Takesomethingsimple,forinstance,choosingarestaurant.Trytorememberthemomentwhenyousettledonfishormeat,adessert,acoffeeoratea.Wasitwhilereadingthemenu?Orwasyourchoiceconnectedtopreviousfood
preferences?
Doyouneedtogobacktoyourchildhoodtofindthesourceofyourchoices?
Ifoneofyourchoicesisconditioned,howabouttheothers?
Thinkaboutoneofyourromanticbreakups:themomentyoudecidedtoleaveyourpartner.Howfarbackdoyouneedtogo?
Ifyoufeelthateveryactionistheresultofaninfinitenumberofeventsofwhichyouaretotallyunaware,wereyoureallychoosingordidyouactasaresultof
theseconstantandindecipherableconditions?
Ifyoudidnotchoose,howcouldyoufeelproudorguiltyaboutanaction?
Ifoppositesgetharmonisedatthecosmiclevel,isn’tanyactionperfect?
Trytofindaneventthatyouconsiderasverynegativeandattempttoseeifnothingpositivecameoutofit.
Dothesamewithapositiveevent.
6.
LookingfortheTruth
WE SPEND AN IMPORTANT PART of our lives looking for the truth. But whichtruth?Theonepeopletrytoimposeonusthrougheducation,morality,religionorspiritualpractices?Ortheonewediscoverbyourselves?Doestruthexist?Ifit did, it would present itself as an absolute that no one would be able tocontradict.Werapidlybecomeawarethatnomatterwhatourtruthis,believersin different truths will be quick to attack it. Our efforts to make a solid andunassailable systemareuseless.Nomental fortresscan resist for long.Wegetexhausted seeking.Weget exhausted defending. Is there not another path thatwouldcoincidewithjoy?HuangPo,awell-knownChanmasteroftheninthcentury,goesstraighttothe
heartoftheissuebyquotingoneofhisillustriouspredecessors:‘Itisuselesstolookforthetruth;onejustneedstonotcherishopinionsaboutit.’Everyopinioninvolvesapartialview.Whenwegiveupthisview,thebody-spiritcalmsdownand relaxes, leaving room for joy. Huang Po adds: ‘Our essence is open likespace,that’sall.’A largepartofourmentalagitationstemsfromour imperiousdesire to find
thetruth.Itisasifweweretryingtoisolateastarinthesky,sothatwecouldgiveitthestatusofAbsoluteStar.Obtainingwisdomistofloat:tonotclingontotheopinionsofothersbutnotfocussingonourown.Thoughtsbecomemorefluid;theypassbywithoutencrustingthemselves.Thebodylooksatthemwiththesamesenseofwondermentaswhenitlooksatspace.Anymentalandbodilytension prevents joy from becomingmanifest. In order to arise, joy needs theopennessofboththespiritandthebody.
WhatisLeftWhenWeAbandonourTruth?
Inmyrelationshipswithothers,whatisthepartofmydiscoursethatattemptstoimposemytruth?
Inwhatwaydoconflictingtruthsconstrainme?
Whatistheconnectionbetweenmyabilitytolistenandtheabandonmentofmyfixedideas?
WhathappenswhenIreplacetheword‘truth’withtheword‘authenticity’?Andwhatifeverythingweretrue?
7.
SpontaneityandFear
SPONTANEITYISANIMMEDIATERESPONSEtoreality.Itimplieshavingabodyfreedof its tensions, breathing naturally with a mind at peace, without fear. It isdifficult to achieve. It could be considered the ideal test to discover to whatextentahumanbeingenjoysfreedom.Wecanapplyittoourselvesbynoticingourabilitytorespondimmediatelyto
life in all its unpredictability. Spontaneous beings have discarded the differentmasksthathavebeenimposeduponthem,aswellastheonestheyself-crafted.Hesitation denotes confusion.Here again,we need to trust our body for its
capacitytoprovidearapidyes/noresponsetosituations.Thebodyisunabletosay‘maybe’or‘wewillsee’.Itreactsimmediatelybyopeningorclosing.Themind,however,requiresaconsiderabletimelapsetoreachaconclusion
andthrustitselfintoaction.Thestrengthofitshesitationisoftensogreatthatitconvincesustowaitanddonothing.Theinternaldiscoursebuildsandmaintainsthisfearbypresentingtousallthenegativepossibilitiesthatweneedtoconsiderbefore we act.With time, we become frightened human beings who wait forothersorforlifetopushusintoaction.Fearstemsfromourinternaldiscourse.Whenthemindisquiet,whatremains
isonlyaninstinctivefearthatcanhelpsaveourlife;it isadirectanswerfromthebody.The fear that interests us here is a psychological fear. The one we create
whenever we face an unexpected moment in life. This fear speaks to us,conditionsusanddevelopsfurtherthankstoourincessantinternaldiscourse.Wecan listen to it and dismantle its construction in the same way we woulddismantletheworkingsofaclockandseeitshrinkthelongerweobserveit.Fear has a body. When we realise that we are the creators of our own
anxieties,wecanslowlyattainthesilencethatallowsforspontaneity.Themorespontaneouswebecome,themorejoywillcometothefore.Itisafundamentaljoy, stemming from our freedom to act without needing any special reasons,since the beauty of the world and of people manifests itself naturally in
spontaneity. We are then able to relate with a multiplicity of elements thatenchantus,withoutanyneedtoownthem.This joy is an unconditional delight in the beauty of being alive and of
appreciatingtheinfiniteinspirationofrealityasamirrorofourowncreativity.
WhatamIAfraidof?
Makealistofyourfears.
Isitpossibletoreducethesefearstoonefear?
Isn’tthefearofaboundlessspaceatthesourceofallsecondaryfears?
HowlongdoIneedtorespondtounexpectedcircumstances?Duringthiselapsedtime,howisthemindbehaving?
AmIabletoobserveaconflictbetweentheresponseofthebodyandthatofthemind?
Whichoneisthemostimmediate?
Istherepressionofspontaneityasocialfear?
WhenIachievespontaneityisitbecauseIimmediatelytrustmybodyormymind?
Ifmyabilitytobespontaneousincreases,amIalsoabletothinkmorequickly?
Isthereadifferencebetweenmybody,mindandemotions?
8.
TheIllusionofChange
THE IDEA THAT CHANGE IS necessary is an illusion. From birth, we areconditionedtoadopttheconventionalattitudesthatwillhelpusbecomesociallyacceptablehumanbeings,potentiallyworthyofaffection,admirationand love.Werapidlygetusedtoasystemthatfavoursappearanceoverauthenticity.Themessage that we constantly receive from our parents, teachers and lovers issimple:‘Youwouldbebetterifyouweresomebodyelse.’Thisconstantcriticismpushesustopretendtobewhatwearenotsowecanenjoysomepeace.Webuybookson‘howtobe’.Wefollowmethods,weattempttohideourinadequaciesfrom others and soon our own censorship becomes fiercer than that of ourexternalcensors.Whenwe succeed,webecomeobjects of admiration for being someonewe
arenot.Wecomfortourselveswiththefactthatwe’renottheonlyoneswholie.We casually call this the ‘social game’, but this game only distances usmorefromwhoweare, to thepointwherewe forgetwhoweare.Withhelp fromatherapist, we try to find ourselves again, so we can rediscover our authenticselves.Oneday,byabandoning thevariousmethodsof ‘change’,webegin togeta
glimpse of another aspect of change, one that is not an escape towards thefabricatedpersonawebelieveweare,butonethatallowsustoreturntotherootofwhowereallyare.Wedevelopaparticulartendernessforthissuppressedbutvibrant being. By dropping the mask, we discover the extent to which ourauthenticselfhasbeendeprivedofexpression.Thiscomingbacktotheauthenticselfmarksadecisivesteptowardsjoy.This
beingwhohasbeenthereallalongissimplywaitingtoberecognisedandlovedforwhoheis.Heaskstobeacceptedinhisentirety,withhisshadowsideaswellashislightside,hisreasoning,hiscraziness,hisexcessesandalsohiscreativity,which will develop the more we acknowledge the true ‘him’. The more heaccepts who he is, the more creative he will be. This long journey back tooneself is the only change that makes sense.Without it, the access to joy is
blockedbyapictureofoneselfthatisbothfalseandanillusion.We may experience some fear at that moment when our authentic being
emerges,notrealisinghowthisnewstateiscontagious.Itispossiblethatthoseclose to usmaybe shocked at first, but it seemsunlikely that theywould notallowtheirownauthenticity toemerge.Thisemergencewillenableus tomeetthosewhohavethecouragetobethemselvesandwhoalsoallowthemselvestopursuesuchexploration.Evenifweencounterobstacles, theimmediateimpactofthisprocessofexplorationwillbethemanifestationofajoytowhichnoonecanremainindifferent.
AmIReallyDifferentToday?
Lookatapictureofyourselfasachild,whileatthesametimelookingatyourselfinthemirror.Isitessentiallythesameface?
Makealistofthemostimportantconditionsthatyouweresubjectedtosincechildhood.Whatweretherecurrent‘values’thatpeopleattemptedtoimposeon
you?
Whateffortsdidyoumaketobethatotherbeing?
Wereyouabletosatisfythosewhoaskedyoutochange?
Didyourfailuretochangeresultinfrustration,bitternessorafeelingofindignity?
Haveyoualreadyhadtheexperienceofperceivingyourauthenticselfandof
abandoninganyideaofbeingsomeoneelse,adisguise,asocialmask?
Whatsensationdidyougetfromreturningtoyouressence?
9.
ThePowerofDesire
DESIRE IS OFTEN CONSIDERED THE enemy of harmony and internal peace.Bedevilledbyreligions,itremainsthisunwantedremnant,whichtossesusaboutonthecrestofwavesunlesswegetridofif.Desireisalmostalwaysassociatedwithahungerthataccentuatesthedifficultyofcompletelysatisfyingit.Spinozasaysthatassociatingitwithpoweroffersusanewunderstanding.Byobservingdesire,wecanunderstanditsdynamicholdoneveryhumanbeing,evenifitisrenounced,whichalsobecomesaformofdesire.Thisposesaquestion:Towhatextentisdesireessentialtojoy?Itispossible
to change theperspective thatwe are at the centreof theuniverse, pretendingthat we are the only ones who possess a conscience. Let us imagine for amoment thatmatter ischargedwithconsciousnessand that itbeckonsusso torespondtoourdesires.Wewill thenbeanimatedbylightermovementsandbetouchedbyacertain
grace. No more one-way street. Everything is movement. The world comestowardsme,Iwelcomeit.Ilosethesupremacyofthe‘I’;Ifloatinaspherethatdesiresme,aspherewhereeachatomispushedtobindwithmenaturally.Thisisexactlythedefinitionofajoythathaslostallarrogance.Thejoyousindividualisabeingwhoissensitivetothefireworksofwhatisreal;heallowshimselftobeskeweredandpenetratedbythecolourfulexplosionofwhat iscontinuouslyborn and extinguished. Instead of being driven to concentrate on thedisappearanceofanobjectintothedistance,suchanindividualwillconcentrateontheconstantemergenceofmultiplenewrealities.Joyhelpsusdiscover thisopendesireasvastlydifferentfromaprocessinwhichweinvestallourhopeinoneobject,thuslimitingjoy.The power of the imagination reaches its highest intensity in desire. Let us
allowittofunction,sinceitisaforetasteofmoretodiscover.Allowthisprocesstodevelop,withoutrushing,byfullyappreciatingtheimagesthatweform.Letus imagine the taste of the fruit before putting it in our mouths. Thisapprehension in the dynamic process diffuses the fatal coupling of desire and
possession and shows us that themost delicious possession is to give time toimagination. If the object should then escape us, we would not feel anyfrustration,aswewouldhavealreadyfullyenjoyedit.Thiswayofexploringdesireshowsusthattherearetwodynamicexperiences
in this movement: the first places total energy on a single object and then isbereft fromnot possessing it or losing it. The second operates as a beam thatalways stays in contact with multiplicity. This kind of desire does not knowfrustration.Itissatisfiedthemomentitarises.Onecouldsaythatitisthedesireofthephilosopher,adesirethatdoesnotinvolvestressorstrain,adesireintheformofaspacethatincludestheworldinitsfragilewholeness.Aswecontinue toobservehowwedesire,wecanalsodiscover thatbehind
eachyearninghidesalargerandsecretdesiretofindtheauthenticandfreeself;this slowly gets detached from its past conditioning and fears and is able toexplorelifewithpassion.
WhataremyStrongestDesires?
Ifothersdonotgivemethatsatisfaction,canIreachitbymyself?
MakealistofwhatIdesirethemostintheworld.
ArethereelementsonthatlistthatIhavealreadytasted,butwhichIwouldliketosavourasrealandbytherealme?
Woulditbepossibleforallmydesirestobemergedintoonedesire?
Whichone?
Isthesatisfactionofthisdesiredependentonotherdesires?
10.
WhatisReal?
IN ONE OF THE MOST iconoclastic sutras of Buddhism, Vimalakirti, a laycontemporaryof theBuddha,managedtodeconstruct theconceptsof themostadvancedmonks.WefindinhissutrassomepearlsoftheReal,inthesensethatwemeanithere:‘Realityisfreeofcharacteristics,sinceitisnotconditionedbyanything.’Sengzhao,hisChinesecommentator (384–414AD),adds: ‘Nomentalconsiderationconditionsit,nottheshadowofanyrepresentation,northeechoofa thought. Characteristics unfold as conditionings unfold: remove these, andcharacteristicsaregone.’What prevents us from directly capturing what is Real and from finding
immediatejoywhenwemeetit?Theheavyburdenofourbeliefsandcertainties.AttheheartofChan,onefindsthecommandofChinesemasterswhostatethatitis essential to rid oneself of the conceptual apparatus in order to seize reality.This includes, of course, our Buddhistic dogmas, such as the emptiness ofeverything. ‘Our school has neither slogan nor dogma to transmit,’ statesHongzhi. As to the method, it is simple: ‘Clean the dust and the stains ofsubjective thinking immediately.When thesearewashedaway,yourmindwillbe open, light, limitless, lacking both centre and extremes. Completely one,radiantly luminous, itwill shine through theuniverse, cuttingoff past, presentandfuture.’Whenwetouch thisradiance,weare touching joy.Buthowdowesuppress
thisconceptual filter thatslowsusdownanddistortsourperceptionofwhat isreal? We need a clear and constant awareness of our mental functioning, animmediateinsightintoourhabitualattachments,ourrejectionsandofourhabitof always establishing preconceptions. Our opinions end up forming a heavymassthatinterposesitselfbetweenrealityandourperceptionofit.Ourtendencyto transform the smallest element in a story,whichgets inflated each timewerepeat it,endsupcreatingafilter thatprevents thesapandbeautyofrealitytoflow,thuscreatinganarrativewithoutthesemblanceofanyinstinctualinsight.FromBasho:
Whenfacingtheboltoflightningsublimeistheonewhodoesnotknowanything
Aconsciencethatisdistortedbyourconceptualknotsshowsustheabsurdityof the internal discourse that transforms a cluster of perceptions into a cheapnovel in which we are the heroes. Our ability to describe reality willprogressivelybecomeblurreduntilthishazedisappears.Inthefuture,therewillbealmostnofilter leftbetweenconscienceandreality,almostnocommentary.Wewillbecomethatspacethatleavestracesoflightandjoywhenevercrossedbyanything.
ImmediateReality
Trytoliveaneventwithoutnamingit,describingitorcomparingit.
Isthereanotabledifferenceofintensityregardingreality?
Howdoesrealityemergeintheinternalsilence?
Whatdoesittastelike?
Isthenotknowinganobstacletotheintensityofthesensation?
Howdoesthedescriptionofafeelingkilltheintensityofthefeeling?
Whatistheconnectionbetweeninternalsilenceandinnocence?
Whatistherelationshipbetweeninnocenceandcreativity?
11.
Thoughts,EmotionsandSensations
THOUGHTS,EMOTIONSANDSENSATIONSSEEMtobethreeindependentdomains.Itisuseful toconsider themassuchwhenspeakingaboutthembut inrealitytheconnectionsaretoonumerous.Eachmomentismadeupofathousandneuronalbridgesthatcommunicatethought,emotionandsensationthroughoutourwholebody. It is the lightning speed of these connections that allow joy tomanifestwhenoursystemisnotinvadedbyrumination,discriminationandfear–thefirsttwoofthesebeingcausedbythethird.Acarefulexaminationwillimmediatelyreveal the effects of thought on our emotions. Our body shows impactimmediately. Every moment, our body is exposed to an infinite number ofclimatic fluctuations–bloodcirculation increases,ourporesopen,our internalorganscontractorrelax,ourmusclesrelaxorclenchtoformabarriertocontaintheemotion.Givingattentiontothebodyisessentialforaccessingtheconsciousnessofthe
effect and for following the impact of each thought and each silence.A silentthought, that is, a thought freed of any reassessment – since the first thoughtcannot be considered a handicap – immediately relaxes the body, and, nowaligned with reality, joy manifests itself instantly in this body. There issometimesconfusionwhenwespeakof ‘no thought’.Thisdoesnotmean thatthereisacompleteabsenceofthought,butsimplythatthereisnoattachment,orparticular value given to thoughts.Theymove across space like a comet, or aflightofmigratorybirds,leavingnotraces,creatingneitheranappropriationnorasecondmeaning.In the intimate experienceof joy there is never a question to resolveor the
need to control anything. It is a progressive dispossession, the simplicity ofbeing,aninnocencerecoveredthroughthemagicofbeingpresentintheworld.This presence, recognised by mystics, artists and philosophers, is a two-stepoperation.Thefirstistheconcentrationonasingleobject.Asaresult,thebodycalms down, the mind is quieted, the breathing is restored. This allows thesecondsteptoopenustothedirectexperienceoftheReal.Meditationmakesus
cross these two phases, traditionally known under the names Samatha(tranquillity)andVipassana(deeppenetration).Butmeditationdoesnotalwaysinvolveasittingmeditation.Itcanmeanapresenceintheworld.AlmosteveryChan master has commented with humour and sometimes with a chidingveracity that sitting meditation transforms its practitioners into a bag of rice.Theypointoutthattostayinemptinessisanincurableillness.Meditationdoesnot‘goanywhere’.Itdoesnotseekanything.Itisdevoidofobject.Itmanifestsitselfasanabsenceofconnection.ItisonlyaspaceinwhichtheRealcanrestfromtheneed to representanyparticularobject. Interiorsilencedoesnotarisefrommeditation;itisitsownmanifestationandthissilenceallowsfor‘music’toemerge.Meditation is a state of alert creativity, of mental lucidity, which weexercise when we connect with the Real, and which finds its most beautifulexpressioninaction.Thereisnoneedtowithdrawfromtheworldtofullytouchlifeandexperiencefreedom.
ObservingThoughts,EmotionsandSensations
HaveIalreadyundergoneabody-spaceexperience?
Whenmymindissilent,whereamI?
WhenIamsilent,isthereaseparationbetweentheworldandme?
Whatistheimpactofsilenceonmybodyandmyperceptions?
Doemotionsemergemorefreely?
Dotheypassthroughmeastheywouldinspace?
Dotheystagnateinthebody,asifitwereacontainer?
Isitpossibletohaveanintenseemotionallifeinabodylackingconceptuallimits?
AmIabletothink,feelandexperienceanemotionandtomovefromonetotheotherwithoutinvolvingothers?
12.
DevelopingPresenceintheWorld
BEINGPRESENTOCCURS SPONTANEOUSLYWHEN anobjector apersoncaptivatesus.Ourwholeattentionisthendirectedtowardsasingleobjectandweareabletotaste,feel,see,listentoandreallytouchwhatwearefacing.Thispleasureofpresenceisnourishing,restorativeandbringsusjoy.Itissointensethat,duringchildhood and adolescence, we spend hours in this state of receptivity andcuriosity as we discover the world. As we accumulate experience andknowledge, our curiosity and sense of wonder fades with time. We already‘know’, and little by little we lose the ability to be present. We experienceboredomandlethargy.Nothingsurprisesus.Thisistheconditionofmostadults,who also interpret the natural ability of children and adolescents to be in thepresentasmeaningthattheyaredistracted.Thiserroneousjudgmentpushesustobelievethatpresencemeansdistraction,
diverting us from the direct experience of the world by forcing the child toconformtotheopinionsofothers.If we think back to the most vivid memories of our adolescence or our
childhood, we will discover that they were moments of pure presence. Ournaturalcapacity forconcentrationonnoveltyenabledus tocontemplatea leaf,ananimal,ashadow,thestarrysky,thesea,withouttheleastmentalfluctuationduring longminutes,evenhours.Thesemoments left an indeliblemark,whilewesometimesforgotthenamesofpeoplewhowereclosetous,sometimeseventhe shape of their face. If we met them twenty years later, we would notrecognisethem.Buttheleaf,thesky,thedragonfly:yes.How can we find this state of presence again? By a multitude of short
incursionsintotheReal.Tenortwentysecondsaresufficient.Wemustmakeaminimalefforttoreallytakealook,tofeel,totouchanobject,then,afterashortlapseof time,wecan let goofbeingpresent to return toourhabitual stateofdistraction.Ifweconsciouslycomeoutofbeingpresent,afterawhilewewillgetaclear
signalthatwehavebeenunconsciouslynon-present.Thispracticeissomewhat
frustratingatthebeginning,sinceweforceourselvestoabandonpresence,yetitiswithineveryone’sreachasitrequireslittleeffortandashortspaceoftime.Itis very effective in developing presence for a very simple reason: presencebringsuspleasure andwe lovepleasure.This pleasure, repeated several timesduring the day, will reveal that there is neither triviality nor repetition in ourdaily life. Even if we shower everymorning, each shower is totally differentfromtheothers.Evenifwedrinkthesameteainthesamemugs,theexperienceis new every time. This discovery will make us content to be alive, willreconnectusandwilldispelourwaitingforsomeeventthatmightnotbringuspleasureorhappiness.Wewillspendalotlesstimefantasisingaboutobjectsthatwethinkmakeushappy.Andthisisagoodmeasureofthequalityofpresence,since it allows for the disappearance of hope, a form of fear and anacknowledgementofourinabilitytobepresent.Presencealsoenablesustocomeoutofsolitude.Itgivesrisetocuriosityand
interest in others. Presence is a rare form of beauty. Every human being issensitivetoit.Itislikebeinginlove.Didyounoticehowanunusualcuriosityandinterestareawakenedwhenyouareinlove?Presencehasthesameimpact.One could say that presence is a state of loving that does not need a uniqueobject. It is an opening to themanywonders of theworld in a radiantmentalsilence.
TestingPresence
Whensomebodyspeaks,doIlistenordoIthinkofmyresponse?
HowmanysecondscanIconcentrateonasingleactionwithmentalinterference:drinkingtea,showering,eatingfruit,listeningtomusic,reading
onepageinabook,lookingatthelandscape?
DoIhavetheimpressionthatIcanhearmyinternalsilence?
Whensomeonemakesanunpleasantremarktome,howlongdoIbroodoverthewordsIheard?
AmIawareofmyocularmovements?DoIblinkoften?
DoIsometimeshavethesensationofmybreathing,ofthemovementofmydiaphragm,oftherelaxationofmytongue?
WhenIaminadifficultsituation,doIconfrontitordoItrytodistractmyselfinordertoforgetit?
Whensomeoneasksmeaquestion,orwhenanactionneedsareaction,howlongdoesittakeformetoanswerortoact?
Aremyanswersclearordotheydenotealackofspontaneity?
DoIhavetheimpressionthatItastethesmallthingsinlife,oramIalwayswaitingforimportanteventstowhichIattributethepowerofchangingmylife
andbringingmehappiness?
CanIsaythatlifeoffersmealot?
DoIsometimesfeelthatmybodyandmymindareinperfectharmony?
Whentheyareinopposition,whichonemakesthedecision?
WhenIfollowmyinstinctsormyintuition,istheresponsefasterthanwhenIaminmyusualmentalspace?
IfIweremorespontaneous,wouldIcreatemorechaosormoreharmonyaroundmyself?
Whichmakesmoremistakes,themindorthebody?
WhenImakeamistake,howlongdoIthinkaboutitandhowlongdotheinternalcommentarieslast?
DoIfeelguilty?
DoIsometimessimplybecomeconsciousofmymistakeandimmediatelyrecapturemymentalsilence?
WhenIamspontaneous,doIregretit?
DoIrestrictmycapacityforlifeinordertoavoidhurtingothers?
IfIrelaxedmyattention,wouldmyfreedomenableotherstobemoreopen?
13.
Joy,TowardsaGreaterPerfection
ANTONIOR.DAMASIO,INHISessay‘SpinozaWasRight’,wrote:
‘OnecanagreewithSpinozainsayingthatjoy(laeticiainLatin)isassociatedwithatransitionoftheorganismtowardsagreater
perfection.Withoutanydoubt,[thisisso]inthesenseofthegreatestfunctionalharmony,andalsointhesenseofincreasedpowerand
freedom.’
This functional harmony arises from a deep acceptance of our unconsciousprocesses.Theacceptanceofthisinternalalchemymeansthatalargepartofourinternal processes are directly correlated to our awareness. Our consciousnessunjustly appropriates the idea of choice, when in fact choice is completelysubjecttothemysteryandwhimsofthemind.Whatwecallconsciouschoiceisonlyabelatedvalidationofathousandunconsciousoperations.Neurobiologistsaffirmthatthebrainneedsonly23hundredthsofasecondto
carry out the operations that precede action and that the conscious part of thebrainonlychooseswhattheunconscioushasalreadychosen.Thisshedslightonthe inordinateprideweholdabout the ideaof choice.Ourconsciousnessonlythenreachesaconclusionandin thebestmomentsofspontaneity thishappensseven or eight seconds later. In this case, spontaneity would only be theimmediate acceptance of unconscious choices, without a theoretical, moral orsocial opposition. One could almost say that to be spontaneous means to beunconscious.ThisiswhatwecouldrefertoasConsciousness.Throughtheirknackofmentalsilenceandconcentration,someZenmastersor
practitionersofmartialartssucceedinsubstantiallyreducingtheirreactiontimesbysevenoreightseconds.Thisiswhatcomesintoplayintheformalencounterswhere themasterproposesakoan to thediscipleandexpectsan instantaneousresponsewilldecidetheadvancementofthediscipleinmeditativepractice.
ThestoryoftheChinesemasterXiangYan,wholivedintheninthcentury,isanexample.Hetoldhisdisciple:‘Supposethatyouareholdingontoabranchlocatednear the topofa tall treebyyour teeth,and thatyoucannotuseeitheryourhandsoryourfeet.AfollowercomesbyandasksyouwhatistheultimatemeaningofZen?Ifyoudon’tansweritmeansyouareavoidingthequestion.Ifyouanswer,youfallandloseyourlife.Whatwillyoudo?’More than one second of hesitation is considered evidence of confusion. It
resultsinanimmediatereturntomeditation.Thebeautyofthispracticeisthatitisimpossibletoconceiveofagoodanswer.Onlyspontaneitycansaveusandifthe student is bright enough to provide an answer, the master will certainlyriposteunlessheisabsolutelyconvinced.Following this example and without needing to practice Zen or any other
discipline, we can test our capacity to respond not only to questions that areaskedofusbutalsotothespontaneouseventsinlifethatrequireanimmediateresponse.Thiswillgiveusaclearviewofourcapacitytobealerthumanbeings.
TheEffectsofJoy
Whenyouarefeelingjoyous,areyouundertheimpressionthatyouowethisjoytoanimportantevent,ordoyoufeelanorganicjoyindependentofanyfactor?
Whenthereasonforthejoydisappears,doesjoystayinyou?
Whatistheimpactontheabdomenmusclesandonbreathing?
Doesyourbodyexperienceagentlevibration?Doyourfacialmusclesrelax?
Doyoufeellikesmilingorlaughing?
Doyouthinkofsomethingelsethatcouldbringyougreatersatisfaction?
Doesyourheartrateslowdown?Doyousalivate?
Doyouexperiencethesamesignsaswhenyouareinlove?
Haveyoueverexperiencedblissfulnesswithoutbeinginlovewithsomeone?
Doyouhavetheimpressionthatthebodyextendsbeyonditsboundaries,thatitdilatesandfluctuates?
14.
ABalanceBetweenAutomaticPilotandConsciousness
IS ITPOSSIBLETOBECOMEcompletelyconscious?Themultiplicityandspeedofour unconscious processes is such that our consciousness would probablyimplode ifwe had that possibility. Is it also possible to avoid being absent tosuchanextremethatwecanspendhoursandwholedaysonautomaticpilot?Forourultimatewell-beingandtheblossomingofjoy,certainlynot.Wecanachieveabalancebetweenthesetwoextremitiesand,withoutgettingtiredortense,wecanslowlyadvanceontheterritoryofunconsciousness.Wecangainaccesstocreativitybyobservingourdailyroutines.Whydowe
havetheneedtorespondendlessly in thesamemanner to thesamesituations?For instance, thehabitof saying ‘no’ toanything thatkeepsus inourcomfortzone.Wearenotriskinganythingbydoingthatsinceallthegivensareknownandundercontrol.The‘no’istheguardianofoursecurityandtheguarantorofourultimateboredom.Itgivesusthetimetoengageinourfavouriteoccupation,thecriticismanddenigrationofothers,of theirboldness, their errors and theirfollies.Theproblemisnotsomuchourinclinationtorepeatouractions,butthefact
thatwearenotconsciousofthem.Ahabitofwhichweareconsciousisonitsway todisintegration.Weoftenworry thatothersprogrammeus–our friends,loversorsuperiorsintheworldofwork.Wegladlyaccusethemofmakingourlives difficult. If we look at this more closely, we will discover that we arealmosttheonlyonesimposingthecontrolonourselves,limitingthepossibilitiesof change and creativity. In the final analysis, others only play with thelimitationsthatwerevealtothemthroughthefrivolityofouractions.The more joy establishes itself within, the more we will realise that it is
inseparablefromfreedom.Andthemoreawarewebecomeandputanendtoourdefensive routines, the freerwewill be. Joy also increases ourwillingness totake risks and the desire to venture into unknown territory. The bodyimmediately feels charged by a quiver of excitement giving the sensation thateverything is functioning at full efficacy. The body emerges as a vibrating
instrumentoutofastagnantanddullmass.Wefollowanewpathwithoutbeingdisturbedby thebeaconsofwarningposedby thosewhofearreality.Weclearthe unknown as if with a machete and even the wild beasts look at us withamazement.OnewhoknowsjoywillnotceasetheexplorationoftheReal.
TakingRisksanditsConsequences
Doyoubelievethatyouaretakingrisksintheprofessional,emotionalorphysicalaspectsofyourlife?
Areyoureadytocallyourwaysofthinkinganddoingthingsintoquestionifsomeoneshowsyouabetterway?
Howwouldyouwelcomethechange?Inyouremotionallife?
Inyourrelationships?
Doyouleaveenoughspaceforotherssothattheycanmodifytheirvisionofthings,theirwayofactingorthinking?
Whenyouareabouttoengageinanewbehaviour,doesyourmindpresentyouwithnegativeprospectsaboutthischange?
Orisitsilentandallowsyoutoenterimmediatelyintoaction?
Doyouexpectthatotherswillbehaveinthewaythatyouhopedorimagined?
Wouldyousaythatyourapproachtolifeiscreative,thatitpushesyoutoinventandallowotherstosurpriseyou?
15.
CreativeJoy
IFWETURNOURATTENTION tothecreativeprocessofapainter,amusicianorawriter, we discover that creation springs up during a state of mental silence,wheneverythingthatdoesnotneedtobethoughtisallowedtoarise.AclassicalChinesepainteroncebuilt a studio forhimself in the shapeof aboat:Abunkwith a slit for his arm was hanging on top of the paper, at the height of hisstretched out arm extended by the brush. As he allowed the boat to floataccordingtothecapriciousmovementsoftheriver,hewouldletgoofhisarmandhishandandthemostbeautifullandscapewouldemergeonpaper.Creativityisnottheexclusivityofartistsorofthosewhothinktheyareableto
inundate theworldwith their productions. It is accessible to allwho discoverpresenceandenterintoadeeprelationshipwiththeworldthatsurroundsthem.Creating one’s life means constantly exploring reality and developing a
greateracuityinperception,inrefinementandingrace.An artist worthy of that name always explores the unknown. He does not
reproducetheworkofothers,norhisown.Heisinconstantmovementtowardstheunknown.Hedoesnotpayattentiontowhatothersexpectofhim,sinceevenhedoesnotknowwhereheisgoing.Hecreatessohecandiscoverwhereheisbymovingforward.Let us see if we follow the same roads in similar situations. Habit always
makesus take thesameroad.Changingour itinerary inacitycanhelpusfindnew ways of behaving. We will become more conscious of the circular andobsessive routines, of the infinite repetitions of our gestures,words, thoughts,andphysicalsensations.Themindneedsnovelty,needstoperceivemoreandingreaterdepth,needstonotgetusedtoanything,soasnottofallintoastateoflethargy.Sensory creativity is not repeating the same gestures or movements; it
introducesdifferentwaysoftouching.Mental creativitymeans becoming immediately aware thatwe have already
travelled along certain paths; attempting to open new mental paths whenever
possible;becominganadventurer!Emotional creativity is not lapsing into the circular grooves that our lazy
habitsautomaticallypresenttous;lettingoneselfgo;dismissingfearandmentalforeshadowing;recapturingtheinnocenceoftheonewhodoesnotknow.Creativity slowly empties our memory, and an empty memory does not
expressapictureoracomparisontosomethingelsewhenaneventoccurs.Everymomentisincomparableandofaluminousfreshness.
AmIanArtist?
Inyourdailylife,doyouexperiencejoyincreatingsomethingsimple:aspaceforanobject,arecipe,asensorydiscovery?
Howimportantisyourcontactwiththearts:music,literature,philosophy,painting,sculpture.Doesitbringyoufulfilment?
Doyouliketodiscovernewcreations?Areyouafraidofinnovations?Doyouseecreativityinchanceencounters?
Inyourrelationships,doyouallowforcreativityoradifferentapproach,ordoyoufeelmoresecureinrepeatingoldpatterns?
Areyouawareofmomentsofwonder?Howoften?Inthesemoments,doyoufeelcreativeaboutwhatyouobserve?
Haveyoualreadyhadtheexperienceofconsideringtheinanimatematterthatsurroundsyouascreative?
Doyoueverwonderifmatter,theelementsandthevegetalandthemineralkingdomscouldhaveconsciousness?
Areyouawareofthevibrationofmatter,ofthedanceofatoms?
Doyousometimeshavetheexperienceofenteringanecstaticmoment,whenthereisnodifferencebetweenyouandwhatyouperceive?
16.
TheReintegrationofChaos
THE FEAR IN WHICH OUR present society lives pushes us to forget about thecreativeaspectsofchaosandtoseeonlydisorderandcatastrophe.IfwegobacktoGreekmythology,wewillbeable tosee thecreativityofchaosandthenbeabletoreintegrateitintoourlives.Chaoswasherebeforeanythingelse,akindof floatingandundifferentiated
magma filled with suspended energy. Then Gaia – the earth, sprang up, thenEros–love,Nyx–night,andErebusjoinedandgavebirthtothedayandtotheether.Thenloveandhateappeared,toforeshadowthereturntochaos.Byperceiving chaos as energy,we reduce both the fearwe have of chaotic
statesandourdesiretosuppressourstrategiestoavoidthem.Periodsofchaosaremarvellouslycreative.Theyaretheendofadeceptivelyorganiseduniverseandbringtheemergenceofanewforce.Ifwedarenottorunawayfromchaos,andnottocloseoureyes,wewillgettheimpressionoffloatingamidstanoceanofaquiveringenergy.Thebodyabsorbsthisenergy,thespiritisnourishedbyitandgoesthroughaphaseofwithdrawalandrestfulemptinessoutofwhichtheseedsofcreativitygerminate. It is theendofoneorderand thebeginningofarevitalisation.Thereis,inharmony,asortofsoporificsoftness.Thedesiretostayandsettle
initisthesimplestexpressionoffear.Piercingtheharmonybubbletopenetratethechaosinwhichharmonyseemstofloatisthebeginningofagreatadventure.Meetingwithuncertaintystimulatesourmindandbodysoparalysedbyhabit.Thereissomethingsuspectinouradorationofharmony.Icanseeapointin
time in which an altar containing the statuette of Caesar, representing chaos,wouldreplacethatoftheBuddha.Everymorningwewouldpresentanofferingofourabandonmentofharmonybymeditatingon thebeautyof thechaos thatinhabits us, and its infinite possibilities. Situations are not chaotic, only ourreactionstothem.Accepting chaos, floating on it as on a benevolent ocean, is a joyous state
from which fear has been vanquished. By ceasing our desire to control
everything we will feel stimulated, encouraged to desire things to emerge.Controlemergesoutofthefearoffeelingfullyalive.Thereisnoauthenticjoywithoutencounteringchaos.
MyIncursionsintotheCreativityofChaos
Areyouafraidofeverythingthatseemslikechaosinthearts,relationships,materialmatterornaturalcatastrophes?
Doyouavoidcomingnearoropeningyourselftochaoticsituations?
Doyouperceiveemotionalchaosasadangerorasasourceofdiscovery?
Areyouafraidorattractedtochaoticbeings?
Doyouresistthatattraction?
Forthelastfewyears,ourplanetseemstobeinrevoltagainstourlackofecologicalconscience.Doyouexperiencethismultiplicationofnaturalcatastrophesasasignthatweneedtodevelopourconsciousnessorasa
fatality?
Areyoutemptedbytheideaofleavingyourluminousside–theoneinwhichyoumovewitheaseinordertoexploreyourowndarkside,thedarksideofyour
desires,emotionsandfeelings?
Whenotherstellyouaboutdivingintotheirselvesandencounteringchaos,doyoufeellikerunningawayordoyoufeeldrawntosuchanadventure?
17.
Consciousness
CONSCIOUSNESS ISTHEPLACEWHEREall theunconsciousforces,all thecosmicinfluences and the activities of conditioning manifest themselves. To defenditself, it creates a moral consciousness and a consciousness of the world thatrevolves around an illusion of the unity of the ‘I’ separate from the whole.Consciousnessisdeterminedbyaclusteroffactorsfartoovasttobeunderstood.The ego is the creation of this multiplicity that completely escapes analysis.Could there be another way to discover a consciousness that would not beconscious of any particular thing, one thatwould be an empty consciousness,spaciousandluminous,thatwouldincludeeverythingwithoutaneedtonameit?The practice of meditation, regardless of the form or approach, is able to
revealthatawareness.Likethesky,itcontainseverything,wherespecificobjectsfloatlikethestars.Thismeditation,wheretheonewhoperceivesisatonewithwhat is being perceived, is called Samadhi (a non-dual ecstasy). It provides adeep,essentialandlastingjoy.This joywill help us understand that this infinite space is present in every
object,everybeingandeveryparticleofmatter.Onecansaythatthisperceptionisthefoundationofjoy,since,likejoy,itisnotattachedtoaspecificobject.Wecancomparethistoamovieprojector.Thereisthefilm,withtheimages
representingtheawarenessonehasofoneself,themoralconsciousness,andtheillusionoftheego.Thenthereisthelightthathasnoformandislimitless,butrevealstheframesofthefilmandgivesthemanappearanceofcontinuity.Ifoneweretoremovethefilm,allthatwouldbeleftisthelightandthewhitenessofthescreen.Butthroughthepictures,onecanalsoseethelight.Toseethelightofthefilm,oneneedstoknowitbeforeitgivesbirthtoforms.
ThePracticeofConsciousness
Consciousnessmanifestsitselfaspresence,andtoworkwithpresenceissimilartolearningamusicalinstrument,thebodybeingourinstrument.Ifweknowhow
todevelopourattention,itcanharmonisewiththeworldandvibratespontaneously.Inordertodothis,itisbettertopractisemanyshortexercisesoffifteentotwentysecondsratherthanalongerpractice.Doingthisthirty,fortyorfiftytimesadayallowsustoenterintodeepcontactwithasensation,likewaterstreamingoverourbody,thecontactofourbarefeetontheground,smellingandthentastingacupoftea,lookingatthesky,touchinganobject,listeningtoabird,makingeyecontactwithastranger.Enterdeeplyintothecontact,breathebyrelaxingyourabdomen,andafterfifteenortwentyseconds,consciouslyleave
thiscontactandreturntoyourhabitualmode.Afewminuteslater,chooseanothersubjectofattentionandpresence.
Ifyoupractiseforseveraldays,youwilldiscoverthatthemoreyourattentionandpresencedevelop,themoreyourpleasureofbeingintheworldwill
increase.
Itdoesn’ttakelongtodiscoverjoy.Thisdiscoverywillcureyouofwaitingforanexceptionaleventthatwillmakeyouhappy.Themorepresentyouare,thelessyouwillbehypnotisedbyhope.Whatispresent,inthismoment,infrontofyou,
containsallthatisneededtobringyoujoy.
Thesimplefactofbeingabletomove,taste,feel,listen,touchandseeisamiraclewhosebeautyescapesustoooften.
Afterafewweeks,thebodywilldesiremorepresencefromyou.Itisaninstrumentofpleasureand,asitunderstandsthatthereisimmensepleasurein
presence,itnaturallyreturnstoit.
Youareentitledtolivefully.
18.
Love
IFWEHADLOVEWEwouldnotneedanythingelseandanyproblemwouldseeminsignificant. Its scarcity sometimes precipitates a crazy impatience in us.Ourdesirefor lovefreezesusandblocksourdynamismcompletely.Wefeelalone,isolated,inaneffectivecoldness,withonlythehopeofbeinglovedsomeday.Toreceive lovedependsonotherswhocandepriveusof it.There isavery
simplesolutionthatwedonotalwaysthinkabout:givinglovedependsonus.Togive love is, first of all, amanifestation of being present in theworld, of thepresenceof theother,of theability to listen in a stateofphysical,mental andemotionalrelaxation.Sincewearenotaccustomedtoothersbeingpresent,itisnatural for us to succumb to this absence that characterises our socialrelationships, leading to deception games, superficial connections andavoidance.But ifwe give a fewminutes of real presence and attention, the process of
avoidancedisappears.Presencecalls forpresence.Weexperiencepleasure.Anauthenticcommunicationflourishes.Wearenotfarfromlove.Whenonegives,onereceives.Itisassimpleasthat.Inourloverelationships,weoftenconfusegiftandpossession.Acreativelife
implies that we give to others all the space they need in order to blossomcompletely.Butoncetheenthusiasmoftheinitialconnectionpasses,arestrictiveprocessestablishes itself:we limit thebreadthof investigationofourpartners;wewantthemtochange,toconformtoourideas.Lovelanguishes,changingtobitterness.Wedonotcutthewingsoftheotherwithoutpayingaprice.Loveisaconstantcreation.Ifwedonotconfineotherswithinthelimitations
ofourownconcepts,ifwedonotfreezetheminapicture,theywillbeabletoevolvefreelyand,byappreciating their freedom,wewillbeable torediscoverthemdayafterday. It is theonlypowerful tie thatcanestablish itselfbetweentwohumanbeings.Alleffortstolimitorcontrolwillresultinthedeathoflove.Inthisreciprocal,creativebond,joywillmanifestitselfandbindpeopleina
fardeeperwaythananypromisesandlimitations.
QuestionsonLove
Whatismydefinitionoflove?
Accordingtothisdefinition,wouldIsaythatIbothgiveandreceivelove?
WhatisthepartofpossessioninthelovethatIgivetoothers?
AmIreadytogiveallthespaceneededfortotalfulfilmenttotheoneIlove?
Doesthisgiftcoverallareas:money,time,tastes,artisticandpoliticalopinions,andsexuality?
Doesfearofabandonmenthaveaplaceinmyrelationship?
AmImoregenerousinthoughtthaninaction?
AmIjealouswhenIlove?
AmIjealousinlife?
DoIbelievethatthehappinessofanotherpersonrobsmeofapartofmyhappiness?
Isthehappinessofgivinglovethesameformeasreceivinglove?
HaveIalreadyexperiencedalovethatwasnotcentredonanobjectorahumanbeing–afeelingoflovethatincludedtheworld?
19.
BodyandMind
IN CHINESE, THE SAME IDEOGRAM represents both body andmind.Westerners,familiarwith a cultural and religious split, have a difficult timeunderstandingthis.Tonegate,eventotorturethebodyisthewaywechoosetopurifythemind.Unifyingthebodyandthemindisthepathtojoy.Tofindthebodyagainisdifficult.Givinguptheconstantinternaldiscourseis
evenmoredifficult.Thepointhere isnot tonegate themarvellouscapacityofthemind,nor todevalue it in relation to thebody,but to re-establish the rightbalanceandstopmakingthebodytheslaveofourthoughts.Whattakesusawayfrompresenceistheconstantandrecurrentcommentary
of our desires, acts and mental fixations. If we could record a single day ofmental discourse, we would have as much as fifteen to sixteen hours ofcontinuouscommentaryofouractionsandgestures.Bycomparison,readingthisbook only requires an hour. Ongoing discourse is not life; it is only thecommentaryofapossiblelifethatwedonotreallylive.Bypractisingattentionandpresence,thiscommentarywillfadeanddisappear.
There will only be spontaneous action; no fear beforehand, no hesitation, noexplanationaftertheact,butsimplyrestinthesilenceofthemind.ThisiswhatChanpractisesandteaches.Yearsofpracticearerequiredtoachievethisspontaneity,butwecanallreach
abeneficialbalanceinwhichthemind,withoutbeingcompletelysilent,willbeable to generate open spaces, resulting in our actions becoming simpler andmoredirect.To live in joydoesnotmean thatwewillbehypnotisedbyanartificial joy.
Wewillcontinuetobesensitivetothefluctuationsoflife,butitsmanifestationwillseemtobesuspendedinaspaceofjoy.Abodythatisopenandmorefluid,alongwith amore openmind,will not cling to suffering,which itselfwill bedissipatedinarelativelyshorttime.To reach a state of joy requires the courage to ask oneself questions and to
answerthemwithauthenticity.
Theonlygoalofthissmallguideofinternalnavigationistocreateaprocessthatallowsforjoytoflourish.
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