The Dead Stars

8/9/2019 The Dead Stars

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The Dead Stars

Paz Marquez Benitez

THROUGH the open window the air-steeped

outdoors passed into his room, quietl

en!elopin" him, stealin" into his !er thou"ht#

$speranza, %ulia, the sorr mess he had made o& li&e, the ears to 'ome e!en now (e"innin" to

wei"h down, to 'rush--the lost 'on'reteness,

di&&used into &ormless melan'hol# The tranquil

murmur o& 'on!ersation issued &rom the (ri')-

tiled azotea where Don %ulian and *armen

were (us putterin" awa amon" the rose pots#

+Papa, and when will the lon" ta(le (e set+

+. dont )now et# /l&redo is not !er spe'i&i',

(ut . understand $speranza wants it to (e ne0t

month#+

*armen si"hed impatientl# +1h is he not a

(it more de'ided, . wonder# He is o!er thirt, ishe not /nd still a (a'helor2 $speranza must (e

tired waitin"#+

+She does not seem to (e in mu'h o& a hurr

either,+ Don %ulian nasall 'ommented, while

his rose s'issors (usil snipped awa#

+How 'an a woman (e in a hurr when the man

does not hurr her+ *armen returned, pin'hin"

o&& a worm with a 'are&ul, somewhat a(sent air#

+Papa, do ou remem(er how mu'h in lo!e he

was+

+.n lo!e 1ith whom+

+1ith $speranza, o& 'ourse# He has not had

another lo!e a&&air that . )now o&,+ she said

with "ood-natured 'ontempt# +1hat . mean is

that at the (e"innin" he was enthusiasti'--

&lowers, serenades, notes, and thin"s li)e

that--+

/l&redo remem(ered that period with a wonder

not unmi0ed with shame# That was less than

&our ears a"o# He 'ould not understand those

months o& a "reat hun"er that was not o& the

(od nor et o& the mind, a 'ra!in" that had

seized on him one quiet ni"ht when the moon

was a(road and under the dappled shadow o&

the trees in the plaza, man wooed maid# 1as he

(ein" 'heated ( li&e 3o!e--he seemed to ha!e

missed it# Or was the lo!e that others told a(out

a mere &a(ri'ation o& per&er!id ima"ination, ane0a""eration o& the 'ommonpla'e, a

"lori&i'ation o& insipid monotonies su'h as

made up his lo!e li&e 1as lo!e a 'om(ination

o& 'ir'umstan'es, or sheer nati!e 'apa'it o&

soul .n those das lo!e was, &or him, still the

eternal puzzle4 &or lo!e, as he )new it, was a

stran"er to lo!e as he di!ined it mi"ht (e#

Sittin" quietl in his room now, he 'ould

almost re!i!e the restlessness o& those das, the

&eelin" o& tumultuous haste, su'h as he )new so

well in his (ohood when somethin" (eauti&ul

was "oin" on somewhere and he was trin" to"et there in time to see# +Hurr, hurr, or ou

will miss it,+ someone had seemed to ur"e in

his ears# So he had a!idl seized on the shadow

o& 3o!e and deluded himsel& &or a lon" while in

the wa o& humanit &rom time immemorial# .n

the meantime, he (e'ame !er mu'h en"a"ed

to $speranza#

1h would men so mismana"e their li!es

Greed, he thou"ht, was what ruined so man#

Greed--the desire to 'rowd into a moment all

the en5oment it will hold, to squeeze &rom the

hour all the emotion it will ield# Men 'ommit

themsel!es when (ut hal&-meanin" to do so,

sa'ri&i'in" possi(le &uture &ullness o& e'stas to

the 'ra!in" &or immediate e0'itement# Greed--

mort"a"in" the &uture--&or'in" the hand o&

Time, or o& 6ate#

+1hat do ou thin) happened+ as)ed *armen,

pursuin" her thou"ht#

+. supposed lon"-en"a"ed people are li)e that4

warm now, 'ool tomorrow# . thin) the are

o&tener 'ool than warm# The !er &a't that an

en"a"ement has (een allowed to prolon" itsel&

ar"ues a 'ertain pla'idit o& temperament--or o&

a&&e'tion--on the part o& either, or (oth#+ Don

%ulian lo!ed to philosophize# He was tal)in"

now with an e!ident relish in words, his

resonant, !er nasal !oi'e toned down tomonolo"ue pit'h# +That phase ou were

spea)in" o& is natural enou"h &or a (e"innin"#

Besides, that, as . see it, was /l&redos last ra'e

with es'apin" outh--+

*armen lau"hed aloud at the thou"ht o& her

(rothers per&e't phsi'al repose--almost

indolen'e--distur(ed in the role su""ested (

her &athers &i"urati!e lan"ua"e#

+/ last spurt o& hot (lood,+ &inished the old

man#

6ew 'ertainl would 'redit /l&redo Salazar

with hot (lood# $!en his &riends had amusedldia"nosed his (lood as 'ool and thin, 'itin"

in'ontro!erti(le e!iden'e# Tall and slender, he

mo!ed with an indolent ease that !er"ed on

"ra'e# Under strai"ht re'al'itrant hair, a thin

&a'e with a satis&in" (readth o& &orehead, slow,

dreamers ees, and astonishin" &reshness o&

lips--indeed /l&redo Salazars appearan'e

(eto)ened little o& e0u(erant mas'ulinit4

rather a poet with waward humor, a &astidious

artist with )een, 'lear (rain#

He rose and quietl went out o& the house# He

lin"ered a moment on the stone steps4 then

went down the path shaded ( immature

a'a'ias, throu"h the little tarred "ate whi'h he

le&t swin"in" (a') and &orth, now openin", now

'losin", on the "ra!el road (ordered alon" the

&arther side ( madre 'a'ao hed"e in tard

la!ender (loom#

The "ra!el road narrowed as it slanted up to the

house on the hill, whose wide, open por'hes he

'ould "limpse throu"h the heat-shri!elled

tamarinds in the Martinez ard#



Si0 wee)s a"o that house meant nothin" to him

sa!e that it was the Martinez house, rented and

o''upied ( %ud"e del 7alle and his &amil# Si0

wee)s a"o %ulia Salas meant nothin" to him4 he

did not e!en )now her name4 (ut now--

One e!enin" he had "one +nei"h(orin"+ withDon %ulian4 a rare enou"h o''urren'e, sin'e he

made it a point to a!oid all appearan'e o&

'urrin" &a!or with the %ud"e# This parti'ular

e!enin" howe!er, he had allowed himsel& to (e

persuaded# +/ little mental rela0ation now and

then is (ene&i'ial,+ the old man had said#

+Besides, a 5ud"es "ood will, ou )now4+ the

rest o& the thou"ht--+is worth a risin" oun"

lawers trou(le+--Don %ulian 'on!eed

throu"h a shru" and a smile that derided his

own worldl wisdom#

/ oun" woman had met them at the door# .twas e!ident &rom the e0'itement o& the %ud"es

'hildren that she was a re'ent and !er

wel'ome arri!al# .n the 'hara'teristi' 6ilipino

wa &ormal introdu'tions had (een omitted--the

5ud"e limitin" himsel& to a 'asual "Ah, ya se

conocen?" --with the 'onsequen'e that /l&redo

'alled her Miss del 7alle throu"hout the

e!enin"#

He was puzzled that she should smile with

e!ident deli"ht e!er time he addressed her

thus# 3ater Don %ulian in&ormed him that she

was not the %ud"es sister, as he had supposed,

(ut his sister-in-law, and that her name was

%ulia Salas# / !er di"ni&ied rather austere

name, he thou"ht# Still, the oun" lad should

ha!e 'orre'ted him# /s it was, he was "reatl

em(arrassed, and &elt that he should e0plain#

To his apolo", she replied, +That is nothin",

$a'h time . was a(out to 'orre't ou, (ut .

remem(ered a similar e0perien'e . had on'e

(e&ore#+

+Oh,+ he drawled out, !astl relie!ed#

+/ man named Manalan"--. )ept 'allin" him

Manalo# /&ter the tenth time or so, the oun"

man rose &rom his seat and said suddenl,

Pardon me, (ut m name is Manalan",

Manalan"# 8ou )now, . ne!er &or"a!e him2+

He lau"hed with her#+The (est thin" to do under the 'ir'umstan'es, .

ha!e &ound out,+ she pursued, +is to pretend not

to hear, and to let the other person &ind out his

mista)e without help#+

+/s ou did this time# Still, ou loo)ed amused

e!er time .--+

+. was thin)in" o& Mr# Manalan"#+

Don %ulian and his un'ommuni'ati!e &riend,

the %ud"e, were a(sor(ed in a "ame o& 'hess#

The oun" man had tired o& plain"

appre'iati!e spe'tator and desultor

'on!ersationalist, so he and %ulia Salas had"one o&& to 'hat in the !ine-'o!ered por'h# The

lone piano in the nei"h(orhood alternatel

tin)led and (an"ed awa as the plaers moods

altered# He listened, and wondered irrele!antl

i& Miss Salas 'ould sin"4 she had su'h a

'harmin" spea)in" !oi'e#

He was mildl surprised to note &rom her

appearan'e that she was unmista)a(l a s ister

o& the %ud"es wi&e, althou"h Do9a /dela was

o& a di&&erent tpe alto"ether# She was small

and plump, with wide (rown ees, 'learl

de&ined ee(rows, and deli'atel modeled

hips--a prett woman with the 'omple0ion o& a

(a( and the e0pression o& a li)a(le 'ow# %ulia

was taller, not so o(!iousl prett# She had the

same ee(rows and lips, (ut she was mu'h

dar)er, o& a smooth ri'h (rown with underlin"

tones o& 'rimson whi'h hei"htened the

impression she "a!e o& a(oundin" !italit#

On Sunda mornin"s a&ter mass, &ather and son

would "o 'run'hin" up the "ra!el road to the

house on the hill# The %ud"es wi&e in!aria(l

o&&ered them (eer, whi'h Don %ulian en5oed

and /l&redo did not# /&ter a hal& hour or so, the

'hess(oard would (e (rou"ht out4 then /l&redo

and %ulia Salas would "o out to the por'h to

'hat# She sat in the low hammo') and he in a

ro')in" 'hair and the hours--warm, quietMar'h hours--sped (# He en5oed tal)in" with

her and it was e!ident that she li)ed his

'ompan4 et what &eelin" there was (etween

them was so undistur(ed that it seemed a

matter o& 'ourse# Onl when $speranza

'han'ed to as) him indire'tl a(out those !isits

did some uneasiness 'reep into his thou"hts o&

the "irl ne0t door#

$speranza had wanted to )now i& he went

strai"ht home a&ter mass# /l&redo suddenl

realized that &or se!eral Sundas now he had

not waited &or $speranza to 'ome out o& the'hur'h as he had (een wont to do# He had (een

ea"er to "o +nei"h(orin"#+

He answered that he went home to wor)# /nd,

(e'ause he was not ha(ituall untruth&ul,

added, +Sometimes . "o with Papa to %ud"e del

7alles#+

She dropped the topi'# $speranza was not

prone to indul"e in unpro!o)ed 5ealousies# She

was a (elie!er in the re"enerati!e !irtue o&

institutions, in their power to re"ulate &eelin" as

well as 'ondu't# .& a man were married, wh, o&

'ourse, he lo!ed his wi&e4 i& he were en"a"ed,

he 'ould not possi(l lo!e another woman#

That hal&-lie told him what he had not admitted

openl to himsel&, that he was "i!in" %ulia

Salas somethin" whi'h he was not &ree to "i!e#

He realized that4 et somethin" that would not

(e denied (e')oned imperiousl, and he

&ollowed on#

.t was so eas to &or"et up there, awa &rom the

prin" ees o& the world, so eas and so

poi"nantl sweet# The (elo!ed woman, he



standin" 'lose to her, the shadows around,

en&oldin"#

+Up here . &ind--somethin"--+

He and %ulia Salas stood loo)in" out into the

she quiet ni"ht# Sensin" unwanted intensit,

lau"hed, woman-li)e, as)in", +/musement++:o4 outh--its spirit--+

+/re ou so old+

+/nd hearts desire#+

1as he (e'omin" a poet, or is there a poet

lur)in" in the heart o& e!er man

+Down there,+ he had 'ontinued, his !oi'e

somewhat indistin't, +the road is too (road, too

trodden ( &eet, too (arren o& mster#+

+Down there+ (eond the an'ient tamarinds la

the road, upturned to the stars# .n the dar)ness

the &ire&lies "limmered, while an errant (reeze

straed in &rom somewhere, (rin"in" elusi!e,&arawa sounds as o& !oi'es in a dream#

+Mster--+ she answered li"htl, +that is so

(rie&--+

+:ot in some,+ qui')l# +:ot in ou#+

+8ou ha!e )nown me a &ew wee)s4 so the

mster#+

+. 'ould stud ou all m li&e and still not &ind

it#+

+So lon"+

+. should li)e to#+

Those si0 wee)s were now so swi&t--seemin" in

the memor, et had the (een so deep in the

li!in", so 'har"ed with 'ompellin" power and

sweetness# Be'ause neither the past nor the

&uture had rele!an'e or meanin", he li!ed onl

the present, da ( da, li!ed it intensel, with

su'h a will&ul shuttin" out o& &a't as astounded

him in his 'almer moments#

%ust (e&ore Hol 1ee), Don %ulian in!ited the

5ud"e and his &amil to spend Sunda a&ternoon

at Tanda where he had a 'o'onut plantation and

a house on the (ea'h# *armen also 'ame with

her &our ener"eti' 'hildren# She and Do9a

/dela spent most o& the time indoors dire'tin"

the preparation o& the merienda and dis'ussin"

the li)ea(le a(surdities o& their hus(ands--how

*armens 7i'ente was so a(sor(ed in his &arms

that he would not e!en ta)e time o&& toa''ompan her on this !isit to her &ather4 how

Do9a /delas Dionisio was the most

a(sentminded o& men, sometimes "oin" out

without his 'ollar, or with unmat'hed so')s#

/&ter the merienda, Don %ulian sauntered o&&

with the 5ud"e to show him what a thri!in"

oun" 'o'onut loo)ed li)e--+plent o& lea!es,

'lose set, ri'h "reen+--while the 'hildren,

'on!oed ( %ulia Salas, &ound unendin"

entertainment in the ripplin" sand le&t ( the

e((in" tide# The were &ar down, wal)in" at

the ed"e o& the water, indistin'tl outlineda"ainst the "ra o& the out-'ur!in" (ea'h#

/l&redo le&t his per'h on the (am(oo ladder o&

the house and &ollowed# Here were her

&ootsteps, narrow, ar'hed# He lau"hed at

himsel& &or his (la') 'an!as &ootwear whi'h he

remo!ed &orthwith and tossed hi"h up on dr

sand#

1hen he 'ame up, she &lushed, then smiled

with &ran) pleasure#

+. hope ou are en5oin" this,+ he said with a

questionin" in&le'tion#

+7er mu'h# .t loo)s li)e home to me, e0'ept

that we do not ha!e su'h a lo!el (ea'h#+

There was a (reeze &rom the water# .t (lew the

hair awa &rom her &orehead, and whipped the

tu')ed-up s)irt around her strai"ht, slender

&i"ure# .n the pi'ture was somethin" o& ea"er

&reedom as o& win"s poised in &li"ht# The "irl

had "ra'e, distin'tion# Her &a'e was not nota(l

prett4 et she had a tantalizin" 'harm, all the

more 'ompellin" (e'ause it was an inner

qualit, an a'hie!ement o& the spirit# The lure

was there, o& naturalness, o& an alert !italit o&

mind and (od, o& a thou"ht&ul, sunn temper,

and o& a piquant per!erseness whi'h is sau'e to

'harm#

+The a&ternoon has seemed !er short, hasnt

it+ Then, +This, . thin), is the last time--we'an !isit#+

+The last 1h+

+Oh, ou will (e too (us perhaps#+

He noted an e!asi!e qualit in the answer#

+Do . seem espe'iall industrious to ou+

+.& ou are, ou ne!er loo) it#+

+:ot perspirin" or (reathless, as a (us man

ou"ht to (e#+

+But--+

+/lwas unhurried, too unhurried, and 'alm#+

She smiled to hersel&#

+. wish that were true,+ he said a&ter ameditati!e pause#

She waited#

+/ man is happier i& he is, as ou sa, 'alm and

pla'id#+

+3i)e a 'ara(ao in a mud pool,+ she retorted

per!ersel

+1ho .+

+Oh, no2+

+8ou said . am 'alm and pla'id#+

+That is what . thin)#+

+. used to thin) so too# Shows how little we

)now oursel!es#+

.t was stran"e to him that he 'ould (e wooin"

thus; with tone and loo) and 'o!ert phrase#

+. should li)e to see our home town#+

+There is nothin" to see--little 'roo)ed

streets, bunut roo&s with &erns "rowin" on

them, and sometimes squashes#+

That was the (a')"round# .t made her seem less

deta'hed, less unrelated, et withal more

distant, as i& that (a')"round 'laimed her and

e0'luded him#



+:othin" There is ou#+

+Oh, me But . am here#+

+. will not "o, o& 'ourse, until ou are there#+

+1ill ou 'ome 8ou will &ind it dull# There

isnt e!en one /meri'an there2+

+1ell--/meri'ans are rather essential to mentertainment#+

She lau"hed#

+1e li!e on *alle 3uz, a little street with trees#+

+*ould . &ind that+

+.& ou dont as) &or Miss del 7alle,+ she smiled

teasin"l#

+.ll inquire a(out--+

+1hat+

+The house o& the prettiest "irl in the town#+

+There is where ou will lose our wa#+ Then

she turned serious# +:ow, that is not quite

sin'ere#++.t is,+ he a!erred slowl, (ut emphati'all#

+. thou"ht ou, at least, would not sa su'h

thin"s#+

+Prett--prett--a &oolish word2 But there is

none other more hand . did not mean that

quite--+

+/re ou withdrawin" the 'ompliment+

+Re-en&or'in" it, ma(e# Somethin" is prett

when it pleases the ee--it is more than that

when--+

+.& it saddens+ she interrupted hastil#

+$0a'tl#+

+.t must (e u"l#+

+/lwas+

Toward the west, the sunli"ht la on the

dimmin" waters in a (road, "lintin" streamer o&

'rimsoned "old#

+:o, o& 'ourse ou are ri"ht#+

+1h did ou sa this is the last time+ he

as)ed quietl as the turned (a')#

+. am "oin" home#+

The end o& an impossi(le dream2

+1hen+ a&ter a lon" silen'e#

+Tomorrow# . re'ei!ed a letter &rom 6ather and

Mother esterda# The want me to spend Hol

1ee) at home#+

She seemed to (e waitin" &or him to spea)#

+That is wh . said this is the last time#++*ant . 'ome to sa "ood-(e+

+Oh, ou dont need to2+

+:o, (ut . want to#+

+There is no time#+

The "olden streamer was withdrawin",

shortenin", until it loo)ed no more than a pool

&ar awa at the rim o& the world# Stillness, a

!i(rant quiet that a&&e'ts the senses as does

solemn harmon4 a pea'e that is not

'ontentment (ut a 'essation o& tumult when all

!iolen'e o& &eelin" tones down to the wist&ul

serenit o& re"ret# She turned and loo)ed intohis &a'e, in her dar) ees a "host o& sunset

sadness#

+Home seems so &ar &rom here# This is almost

li)e another li&e#+

+. )now# This is $lsewhere, and et stran"e

enou"h, . 'annot "et rid o& the old thin"s#+

+Old thin"s+

+Oh, old thin"s, mista)es, en'um(ran'es, old

(a""a"e#+ He said it li"htl, unwillin" to mar

the hour# He wal)ed 'lose, his hand sometimes

tou'hin" hers &or one whirlin" se'ond#

Don %ulians nasal summons 'ame to them on

the wind#

/l&redo "ripped the so&t hand so near his own#

/t his tou'h, the "irl turned her &a'e awa, (ut

he heard her !oi'e sa !er low, +Good-(e#+

..

/36R$DO Salazar turned to the ri"ht where,

&arther on, the road (roadened and entered the

heart o& the town--heart o& *hinese stores

sheltered under low-hun" roo&s, o& indolent

dru" stores and tailor shops, o& din" shoe-

repairin" esta(lishments, and a 'luttered

"oldsmiths 'u((hole where a 'onsumpti!e

(ent o!er a ma"ni&in" lens4 heart o& old (ri')-

roo&ed houses with quaint hand-and-(all)no')ers on the door4 heart o& "rass-"rown

plaza repose&ul with trees, o& an'ient 'hur'h

and convento,now 'ir'led ( swallows "lidin"

in &li"ht as smooth and so&t as the a&ternoon

itsel&# .nto the qui')l deepenin" twili"ht, the

!oi'e o& the (i""est o& the 'hur'h (ells )ept

rin"in" its insistent summons# 6lo')in" 'ame

the de!out with their lon" wa0 'andles, oun"

women in !i!id apparel <&or this was Hol

Thursda and the 3ord was still ali!e=, older

women in so(er (la') s)irts# *ame too the

oun" men in dro!es, el(owin" ea'h otherunder the talisa tree near the 'hur'h door# The

"ail de')ed ri'e-paper lanterns were a"ain on

displa while &rom the windows o& the older

houses hun" 'olored "lass "lo(es, heirlooms

&rom a da when "rasspith wi')s &loatin" in

'o'onut oil were the 'hie& li"htin" de!i'e#

Soon a dou(le row o& li"hts emer"ed &rom the

'hur'h and un'oiled down the len"th o& the

street li)e a hu"e 5ewelled (and studded with

"litterin" 'lusters where the saints plat&orms

were# /(o!e the measured musi' rose the

untutored !oi'es o& the 'hoir, steeped in

in'ense and the a'rid &umes o& (urnin" wa0#

The si"ht o& $speranza and her mother sedatel

pa'in" (ehind Our 3ad o& Sorrows suddenl

destroed the illusion o& 'ontinuit and (ro)e

up those lines o& li"ht into 'omponent

indi!iduals# $speranza sti&&ened sel&-

'ons'iousl, tried to loo) unaware, and 'ould

not#

The line mo!ed on#



Suddenl, /l&redos slow (lood (e"an to (eat

!iolentl, irre"ularl# / "irl was 'omin" down

the line--a "irl that was stri)in", and !i!idl

ali!e, the woman that 'ould 'ause !iolent

'ommotion in his heart, et had no pla'e in the

'ompleted orderin" o& his li&e#Her "lan'e o& a(stra'ted de!otion &ell on him

and 'ame to a (rie& stop#

The line )ept mo!in" on, wendin" its 'ir'uitous

route awa &rom the 'hur'h and then (a')

a"ain, where, a''ordin" to the old pro!er(, all

pro'essions end#

/t last Our 3ad o& Sorrows entered the

'hur'h, and with her the priest and the 'hoir,

whose !oi'es now e'hoed &rom the ar'hed

'eilin"# The (ells ran" the 'lose o& the

pro'ession#

/ round oran"e moon, +hu"e as a winnowin" (as)et,+ rose lazil into a 'lear s), whitenin"

the iron roo&s and dimmin" the lanterns at the

windows# /lon" the still densel shadowed

streets the oun" women with their rear "uard

o& males loitered and, ma(e, too) the lon"est

wa home#

Toward the end o& the row o& *hinese stores, he

'au"ht up with %ulia Salas# The 'rowd had

dispersed into the side streets, lea!in" *alle

Real to those who li!ed &arther out# .t was past

ei"ht, and $speranza would (e e0pe'tin" him

in a little while; et the thou"ht did not hurr

him as he said +Good e!enin"+ and &ell into

step with the "irl#

+. had (een thin)in" all this time that ou had

"one,+ he said in a !oi'e that was (oth e0'ited

and trou(led#

+:o, m sister as)ed me to sta until the are

read to "o#+

+Oh, is the %ud"e "oin"+

+8es#+

The pro!in'ial do')et had (een 'leared, and

%ud"e del 7alle had (een assi"ned elsewhere#

/s lawer--and as lo!er--/l&redo had &ound

that out lon" (e&ore#

+Mr# Salazar,+ she (ro)e into his silen'e, +.

wish to 'on"ratulate ou#+Her tone told him that she had learned, a t last#

That was ine!ita(le#

+6or what+

+6or our approa'hin" weddin"#+

Some e0planation was due her, surel# 8et what

'ould he sa that would not o&&end

+. should ha!e o&&ered 'on"ratulations lon"

(e&ore, (ut ou )now mere !isitors are slow

a(out "ettin" the news,+ she 'ontinued#

He listened not so mu'h to what she said as to

the nuan'es in her !oi'e# He heard nothin" to

enli"hten him, e0'ept that she had re!erted tothe &ormal tones o& earl a'quaintan'e# :o

re!elation there4 simpl the old !oi'e--'ool,

almost deta'hed &rom personalit, &le0i(le and

!i(rant, su""estin" potentialities o& son"#

+/re weddin"s interestin" to ou+ he &inall

(rou"ht out quietl

+1hen the are o& &riends, es#+

+1ould ou 'ome i& . as)ed ou+

+1hen is it "oin" to (e+

+Ma,+ he replied (rie&l, a&ter a lon" pause#

+Ma is the month o& happiness the sa,+ she

said, with what seemed to him a shade o& iron#

+The sa,+ slowl, indi&&erentl# +1ould ou

'ome+

+1h not+

+:o reason# . am 5ust as)in"# Then ou will+

+.& ou will as) me,+ she said with disdain#

+Then . as) ou#+

+Then . will (e there#+

The "ra!el road la (e&ore them4 at the roads

end the li"hted windows o& the house on the

hill# There swept o!er the spirit o& /l&redo

Salazar a lon"in" so )een that it was pain, a

wish that, that house were his, that all the

(ewilderments o& the present were not, and that

this woman ( his side were his lon" wedded

wi&e, returnin" with him to the pea'e o& home#

+%ulita,+ he said in his slow, thou"ht&ul manner,+did ou e!er ha!e to 'hoose (etween

somethin" ou wanted to do and somethin" ou

had to do+

+:o2+

+. thou"ht ma(e ou had had that e0perien'e4

then ou 'ould understand a man who was in

su'h a situation#+

+8ou are &ortunate,+ he pursued when she did

not answer#

+.s--is this man sure o& what he should do+

+. dont )now, %ulita# Perhaps not# But there is a

point where a thin" es'apes us and rushesdownward o& its own wei"ht, dra""in" us

alon"# Then it is &oolish to as) whether one will

or will not, (e'ause it no lon"er depends on

him#+

+But then wh--wh--+ her mu&&led !oi'e

'ame# +Oh, what do . )now That is his

pro(lem a&ter all#+

+Doesnt it--interest ou+

+1h must it .--. ha!e to sa "ood-(e, Mr#

Salazar4 we are at the house#+

1ithout li&tin" her ees she qui')l turned and

wal)ed awa#

Had the &inal word (een said He wondered# .t

had# 8et a &ee(le &lutter o& hope trem(led in his

mind thou"h set a"ainst that hope were three

ears o& en"a"ement, a !er near weddin",

per&e't understandin" (etween the parents, his

own 'ons'ien'e, and $speranza hersel&--

$speranza waitin", $speranza no lon"er oun",

$speranza the e&&i'ient, the literal-minded, the

intensel a'quisiti!e#



He loo)ed attenti!el at her where she sat on

the so&a, appraisin"l, and with a )ind o&

a!ersion whi'h he tried to 'ontrol#

She was one o& those &ortunate women who

ha!e the "i&t o& uni&orml a''epta(le

appearan'e# She ne!er surprised one withune0pe'ted homeliness nor with startlin"

reser!es o& (eaut# /t home, in 'hur'h, on the

street, she was alwas hersel&, a woman past

&irst (loom, li"ht and 'lear o& 'omple0ion,

spare o& arms and o& (reast, with a sli"ht

'on!e0it to thin throat4 a woman dressed with

sel&-'ons'ious 'are, e!en ele"an'e4 a woman

distin'tl not a!era"e#

She was pursuin" an indi"nant relation a(out

somethin" or other, somethin" a(out *ali0ta,

their note-'arrier, /l&redo per'ei!ed, so he

merel hal&-listened, understandin"imper&e'tl# /t a pause he drawled out to &ill in

the "ap; +1ell, what o& it+ The remar)

sounded ruder than he had intended#

+She is not married to him,+ $speranza insisted

in her thin, ner!ousl pit'hed !oi'e# +Besides,

she should ha!e thou"ht o& us# :ana

pra'ti'all (rou"ht her up# 1e ne!er thou"ht

she would turn out (ad#+

1hat had *ali0ta done Homel, middle-a"ed

*ali0ta

+8ou are !er positi!e a(out her (adness,+ he

'ommented drl# $speranza was alwas

positi!e#

+But do ou appro!e+

+O& what+

+1hat she did#+

+:o,+ indi&&erentl#

+1ell+

He was suddenl impelled ( a desire to

distur( the un!e0ed orthodo0 o& her mind#

+/ll . sa is that it is not ne'essaril wi')ed#+

+1h shouldnt it (e 8ou tal)ed li)e an--

immoral man# . did not )now that our ideas

were li)e that#+

+M ideas+ he retorted, "oaded ( a deep,

a''umulated e0asperation# +The onl test .

wish to appl to 'ondu't is the test o& &airness#/m . in5urin" an(od :o Then . am

5usti&ied in m 'ons'ien'e# . am ri"ht# 3i!in"

with a man to whom she is not married--is that

it .t ma (e wron", and a"ain it ma not#+

+She has in5ured us# She was un"rate&ul#+ Her

!oi'e was ti"ht with resentment#

+The trou(le with ou, $speranza, is that ou

are--+ he stopped, appalled ( the passion in his

!oi'e#

+1h do ou "et an"r . do not understand

ou at all2 . thin) . )now wh ou ha!e (een

indi&&erent to me latel# . am not (lind, or dea&4. see and hear what perhaps some are trin" to

)eep &rom me#+ The (lood sur"ed into his !er

ees and his hearin" sharpened to points o&

a'ute pain# 1hat would she sa ne0t

+1h dont ou spea) out &ran)l (e&ore it is

too late 8ou need not thin) o& me and o& what

people will sa#+ Her !oi'e trem(led#

/l&redo was su&&erin" as he 'ould not

remem(er e!er ha!in" su&&ered (e&ore# 1hat

people will sa--what will the not sa 1hat

dont the sa when lon" en"a"ements are

(ro)en almost on the e!e o& the weddin"

+8es,+ he said hesitatin"l, di&&identl, as i&

merel thin)in" aloud, +one tries to (e &air--

a''ordin" to his li"hts--(ut it is hard# One

would li)e to (e &air to ones sel& &irst# But that

is too eas, one does not dare--+

+1hat do ou mean+ she as)ed with repressed

!iolen'e# +1hate!er m short'omin"s, and no

dou(t the are man in our ees, . ha!e ne!er

"one out o& m wa, o& m pla'e, to &ind a

man#+

Did she mean ( this irrele!ant remar) that he

it was who had sou"ht her4 or was that a 'o!ert

atta') on %ulia Salas

+$speranza--+ a desperate plea la in his

stum(lin" words# +.& ou--suppose .--+ 8et how

'ould a mere man word su'h a plea+.& ou mean ou want to ta)e (a') our word,

i& ou are tired o&--wh dont ou tell me ou

are tired o& me+ she (urst out in a storm o&

weepin" that le&t him 'ompletel shamed and

unner!ed#

The last word had (een said#

...

/S /l&redo Salazar leaned a"ainst the (oat rail

to wat'h the e!enin" settlin" o!er the la)e, he

wondered i& $speranza would attri(ute ansi"ni&i'an'e to this trip o& his# He was supposed

to (e in Sta# *ruz whither the 'ase o& the

People o& the Philippine .slands !s# Belina et al

had )ept him, and there he would ha!e (een i&

Bri"ida Samu had not (een so important to the

de&ense# He had to &ind that elusi!e old woman#

That the sear'h was leadin" him to that

parti'ular la)e town whi'h was %ulia Salas

home should not distur( him undul 8et he was

distur(ed to a de"ree utterl out o& proportion

to the prosai'alness o& his errand# That inner

tumult was no surprise to him4 in the last ei"htears he had (e'ome used to su'h o''asional

storms# He had lon" realized that he 'ould not

&or"et %ulia Salas# Still, he had tried to (e

'ontent and not to remem(er too mu'h# The

'lim(er o& mountains who has )nown the (a')-

(rea), the lonesomeness, and the 'hill, &inds a

'ertain rest&ulness in le!el paths made eas to

his &eet# He loo)s up sometimes &rom the !alle

where settles the dus) o& e!enin", (ut he )nows

he must not heed the radiant (e')onin"#



Ma(e, in time, he would 'ease e!en to loo)

up#

He was not unhapp in his marria"e# He &elt no

re(ellion; onl the 'alm o& 'apitulation to what

he re'o"nized as irresisti(le &or'es o&

'ir'umstan'e and o& 'hara'ter# His li&e hadsimpl ordered itsel&4 no more stru""les, no

more stirrin" up o& emotions that "ot a man

nowhere# 6rom his 'apa'it o& 'omplete

deta'hment he deri!ed a stran"e sola'e# The

essential himsel&, the himsel& that had its (ein"

in the 'ore o& his thou"ht, would, he re&le'ted,

alwas (e &ree and alone# 1hen 'laims

en'roa'hed too insistentl, as sometimes the

did, he retreated into the inner &astness, and

&rom that !anta"e he saw thin"s and people

around him as remote and alien, as in'idents

that did not matter# /t su'h times did $speranza

&eel (a&&led and helpless4 he was "entle, e!en

tender, (ut immeasura(l &ar awa, (eond her

rea'h#

3i"hts were sprin"in" into li&e on the shore#

That was the town, a little up-tilted town

nestlin" in the dar) "reenness o& the "ro!es# /

snu('rested (el&r stood (eside the an'ient

'hur'h# On the outs)irts the e!enin" smud"es

"lowed red throu"h the sinuous mists o& smo)e

that rose and lost themsel!es in the purple

shadows o& the hills# There was a oun" moon

whi'h "rew slowl luminous as the 'oral tints

in the s) ielded to the dar)er (lues o&

e!enin"#

The !essel approa'hed the landin" quietl,

trailin" a wa)e o& lon" "olden ripples on the

dar) water# Pe'uliar hill in&le'tions 'ame to his

ears &rom the 'rowd assem(led to meet the

(oat--slow, sin"in" 'aden'es, 'hara'teristi' o&

the 3a"una la)e-shore spee'h# 6rom where he

stood he 'ould not distin"uish &a'es, so he had

no wa o& )nowin" whether the presidentewas

there to meet him or not# %ust then a !oi'e

shouted#

+.s the abogado there Abogado!"

+1hat abogado?" someone iratel as)ed#

That must (e the presidente, he thou"ht, and

went down to the landin"#.t was a poli'eman, a tall po')-mar)ed

indi!idual# The presidente had le&t with Bri"ida

Samu--Tandan" +Binda+--that noon &or Santa

*ruz# Se9or Salazars se'ond letter had arri!ed

late, (ut the wi&e had read it and said, +Go and

meet the abogado and in!ite him to our house#+

/l&redo Salazar 'ourteousl de'lined the

in!itation# He would sleep on (oard sin'e the

(oat would lea!e at &our the ne0t mornin"

anwa# So the presidente had re'ei!ed his &irst

letter /l&redo did not )now (e'ause that

o&&i'ial had not sent an answer# +8es,+ the

poli'eman replied, +(ut he 'ould not write

(e'ause we heard that Tandan" Binda was in

San /ntonio so we went there to &ind her#+

San /ntonio was up in the hills2 Good man, the

presidente2 He, /l&redo, must do somethin" &or

him# .t was not e!er da that one met with

su'h willin"ness to help#

$i"ht o'lo'), lu"u(riousl tolled &rom the (ell

tower, &ound the (oat settled into a somnolent

quiet# / 'ot had (een (rou"ht out and spread

&or him, (ut it was too (are to (e in!itin" at that

hour# .t was too earl to sleep; he would wal)

around the town# His heart (eat &aster as he

pi')ed his wa to shore o!er the ra&ts made &ast

to sundr piles dri!en into the water#

How pea'e&ul the town was2 Here and there a

little tienda was still open, its dim li"ht issuin"

&orlornl throu"h the sin"le window whi'h

ser!ed as 'ounter# /n o''asional 'ouple

sauntered (, the womens chinelasma)in"

s'rapin" sounds# 6rom a distan'e 'ame the

shrill !oi'es o& 'hildren plain" "ames on the

street--tubigan perhaps, or +haw)-and-

'hi')en#+ The thou"ht o& %ulia Salas in that

quiet pla'e &illed him with a pitin" sadness#

How would li&e seem now i& he had married

%ulia Salas Had he meant anthin" to her

That un&or"etta(le red-and-"old a&ternoon inearl /pril haunted him with a sense o&

in'ompleteness as restless as other unlaid

"hosts# She had not married--wh

6aith&ulness, he re&le'ted, was not a 'ons'ious

e&&ort at re"ret&ul memor# .t was somethin"

un!olitional, ma(e a re'urrent awareness o&

irrepla'ea(ilit# .rrele!ant tri&les--a 'ool wind

on his &orehead, &ar-awa sounds as o& !oi'es

in a dream--at times mo!ed him to an oddl

irresisti(le impulse to listen as to an insistent,

un&inished praer#

/ &ew inquiries led him to a 'ertain little tree-

'eilin"ed street where the oun" moon wo!e

indistin't &ili"rees o& &i"ht and shadow# .n the

"ardens the 'otton tree threw its an"ular

shadow athwart the low stone wall4 and in the

'ool, still midni"ht the 'o')s &irst 'all rose in

tall, soarin" 5ets o& sound# *alle 3uz#

Somehow or other, he had )nown that he would

&ind her house (e'ause she would surel (e

sittin" at the window# 1here else, (e&ore

(edtime on a moonlit ni"ht The house was low

and the li"ht in the sala (ehind her threw her

head into unmista)a(le relie&# He sensed rather

than saw her start o& !i!id surprise#

+Good e!enin",+ he said, raisin" his hat#

+Good e!enin"# Oh2 /re ou in town+

+On some little (usiness,+ he answered with a

&eelin" o& pain&ul 'onstraint#

+1ont ou 'ome up+

He 'onsidered# His !a"ue plans had not

in'luded this# But %ulia Salas had le&t the

window, 'allin" to her mother as she did so#

/&ter a while, someone 'ame downstairs with a



li"hted 'andle to open the door# /t last--he was

sha)in" her hand#

She had not 'han"ed mu'h--a little less slender,

not so ea"erl ali!e, et somethin" had "one#

He missed it, sittin" opposite her, loo)in"

thou"ht&ull into her &ine dar) ees# She as)edhim a(out the home town, a(out this and that,

in a so(er, somewhat meditati!e tone# He

'on!ersed with in'reasin" ease, thou"h with a

"rowin" wonder that he should (e there at all#

He 'ould not ta)e his ees &rom her &a'e# 1hat

had she lost Or was the loss his He &elt an

impersonal 'uriosit 'reepin" into his "aze#

The "irl must ha!e noti'ed, &or her 'hee)

dar)ened in a (lush#

Gentl--was it e0perimentall--he pressed her

hand at partin"4 (ut his own &elt undistur(ed

and emotionless# Did she still 'are The answer

to the question hardl interested him#

The oun" moon had set, and &rom the

unin!itin" 'ot he 'ould see one hal& o& a star-

studded s)#

So that was all o!er#

1h had he o(stinatel 'lun" to that dream

So all these ears--sin'e when--he had (een

seein" the li"ht o& dead stars, lon"

e0tin"uished, et seemin"l still in their

appointed pla'es in the hea!ens#

/n immense sadness as o& loss in!aded his

spirit, a !ast homesi')ness &or some immuta(le

re&u"e o& the heart &ar awa where &aded

"ardens (loom a"ain, and where li!e on in

un'han"in" &reshness, the dear, dead lo!es o&

!anished outh#

/nalsis o& +the Dead Stars+

/n analsis o& the short stor +Dead Stars,+ a

stor o& +what i&+ as a married mana"ain meets

the woman he &ell in lo!e with man ears

earlier while en"a"ed to his wi&e#The stor is

(asi'all a 'ompilation o& the 'ompli'ated

'ir'umstan'es that e!er man has to"o throu"hin li&e#

/l&redo was on'e in lo!e with $speranza, no

dou(t, (ut there 'omes a time whenlo!e &ades,

and the onl thin" holdin" ou to"ether is the

!ow ou "a!e our &ian'>e, thatwhi'h ou

'annot ta)e (a')# 1h 'ant ou ta)e it (a')

.ts (e'ause ou are a&raid o& whatwill (e the

rea'tion o& the people around ou, spe'iall

durin" the time o& the stor# 1hats!isi(l

wron" a(out this is that most o&ten than not,

men re&use to listen to their ownearnin"s andsimpl su(mit to &urther dehumanization#

3o!e here, thou"h perhaps "enuine to a point,

&or /l&redo, is seemin"l wea) andpurposi!e#

1ea), (e'ause it is e!entuall o!er'ome (

propriet, and purposi!e (e'ause itwas merel

a tool to 5usti& his desire to "o a"ainst so'iet4

that &or on'e he will not (e apuppet, (ut the

master o& his own &ate# .n the stor, /l&redo

&alls drasti'all in lo!e with%ulia e!en as he is

en"a"ed to $speranza, (ut in the end &or"oes

the idea# He )ept onholdin" on to that "limmero& +what 'ould ha!e (een+ throu"hout the ears

o& his marria"eto $speranza, (ut upon meetin"

%ulia a"ain, he realizes that what he thou"ht

was there,had now "one &or more than one

reason#

6irst, it is possi(le to sa that a&ter what so'iet

has done to him <dehumanizedhim=, he &ound at

pea'e in his pla'e, and sou"ht no more that

illusi!e dream o& esterda#He understood,

a&ter meetin" her a"ain, that it was nostal"ia

that was ta)in" hold o& hisheart, and not the

+lo!e+ that he on'e &elt &or her# .t is said in the

stor that he is notunhapp with his marria"e,

(ut a part o& him alwas slips awa &rom the

world in order todream o& another li&e that'ould ha!e (lossomed, had he 'hose %ulia o!er

$speranza# On theother hand, it is possi(le that

there was no real lo!e to spea) o&, (ut a desire

&or somethin"else# He desired outh# /lthou"h

relati!el oun", he desired the qualities that

the outh&ulpossessed; !i"or, passion, !italit#

These are a &ew thin"s that he la')ed as a

person and to&ind these in %ulia "a!e him a

sense o& 'ompleteness# .t was a wel'omed

'han"ed in his li&e,and he wanted to hold on to

it &or as lon" as he 'ould, sin'e e!en i& he

'ouldnt (e li)e %ulia,he is 'om&orted ( the

thou"ht that he was a(le to meet someone who

is di&&erent &rome!er(od else, and that she

'ould ha!e (een his wi&e# He is noted to (e o& a

'ool and 'almdemeanor, whi'h is wh it seems

out o& 'hara'ter i& he suddenl (ursts with

ener"#

Dead stars sm(olize thin"s that are present (ut

are le&t unspo)en o&# The lo!e(etween /l&redo

and %ulia seemed real, (ut loo) 'loser and one

'an state that it was hardlmutual, and that it

was impossi(le to last# $speranzas de!otion to

/l&redo also resem(leslo!e, (ut sin'e she

(elie!es in the +re"enerati!e !irtue o&

institution+ more than true lo!e, itis sa&e to sa

that she is in the relationship, (e'ause o& moral

o(li"ation# So what onethou"ht as real <or

present= is now nothin" (ut an illusion#



The stor re!ol!es around /l&redo Salazar, a

(a'helor o!er thirt, and two women;

$speranza, his &ian'>e o& &our ears, and a

oun" "irl &rom out-o&-town named %ulia Salas#

$!erone ta)es it &or "ranted that /l&redo will

e!entuall marr $speranza# But althou"h he isashamed to admit it, the intensit o& his passion

&or $speranza has &aded and he is attra'ted to

%ulia, whom he meets at a dinner part# But he

is aware that all his lo!ed ones-in'ludin" %ulia-

would disappro!e o& his &ailure to honor his

understandin" with $speranza# So he and

$speranza "et married and ha!e a &amil# Then,

ei"ht ears later, he "oes on a (usiness trip to

the town where %ulia, still unmarried, li!es# He

"oes to !isit %ulia, whom he has ne!er

&or"otten# But he is surprised to &ind that he no

lon"er &eels attra'ted to her# He 'ompares the

memor o& his lo!e &or her to dead stars, whose

"low is still !isi(le &rom the earth &or ears

a&ter the are "one#

Dead Star is a lo!e stor a(out a man named/l&redo Salazar,who has his &ian'e in the

person o& $speranza and the ha!e (een

en"a"ed &or quite some time# So'iet !iews

them as an ideal 'ouple# Their weddin" is a(out

to ta)e pla'e in the near &uture# Prior to the

weddin" howe!er, he sees another "irl, when

he "oes with his &ather to a 5ud"es house# He

tries to see) lo!e in her, (ut she )inda de'lines#

in that wa, /l&redo (e'ame a little (it 'on&used

in his up'omin" weddin" where he is a(out to

'hose (etween two options4 to do what he

should do ( marrin" $speranza as pres'ri(ed

( his parents or to do what he wants to do (

ha!in" %ulia Salas, his dream - the dead star in

his li&e#

.n the stor, dead stars sm(olize a dream &orsomethin" that is none0istent# The "u lo!ed

the "irl# She was his dream, his star# He thou"ht

there was lo!e there# But li)e a dead star whi'h

is so &ar awa, and whose shine 'ould a'tuall

(e the le&to!er tra!elin" li"ht &rom it, he was a

lon" wa &rom "ettin" the "irl, and the lo!e he

thou"ht was possi(le, ne!er was#

The Dead Stars

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