The day I realized I was not (yet) an Agile coach...–Story teller: think of a topic ... Inspiring,...
Transcript of The day I realized I was not (yet) an Agile coach...–Story teller: think of a topic ... Inspiring,...
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T H E D A Y I R E A L I Z E D I W A S N O T ( Y E T ) A N A G I L E C O A C H
T H E J O U R N E Y A N D T H O U G H T S O F A N A G I L E
P R A C T I T I O N E R W H O D I S C O V E R E D H I S PA S S I O N
F O R C O A C H I N G
Sylvain Mahe
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WHO AM I?
• Entreprise Agile Coach
– Publishing, Telcos, Industrial Property, Banking...
– Startup companies and MNCs
• Leads the largest team of Agile coaches in Singapore at Palo IT, a boutique Innovation consultancy
• Life Transformation Coach (ACC - International Coaching Federation)
• Explorer, seeker, salsa dancer and cheese lover
Twitter: @mahe_sylvain
LinkedIn: https://sg.linkedin.com/pub/sylvain-mahe/2/275/8b0
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COACH
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CIRCA 2010
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CIRCA 2010
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AND THEN I MET A REAL COACH…
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POSTURESYou could
do X
I’ve done
X
Try Y,
because…
What else
could you
try ?
X, Y, Z…
X is…
Consultant Coach
Mentor Trainer
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3 THINGS THAT MAY HELP BRING YOUR COACHING TO THE NEXT LEVEL ( T H A T W O R K E D F O R M E )
1. Know yourself
2. Go beyond the words
3. Hold the frame
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LET’S HAVE A CHAT!
• Form triads: observer, story teller, listener
– Story teller: recall a good memory and share it with the listener
– Listener: engage in this conversation as you would normally do
– Observer: well… observe
• 3 min
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• What kind of questions did you ask?
– Open / closed
– Leading
– Did you make good use of the silence?
• Were you fully present?
– Did you catch yourself wanting to speak?
– Did you interrupt the story teller?
– Did you hijack the conversation?
• Internal state
– Listening? Judging?
– What was your intention?
(telling a diving trip story) - I was maybe 10m deep and could barely see.- Oh, that was scary, wasn’t it?
- I was maybe 10m deep and could barely see.- Oh yes, that reminds me of my diving trip last year…
DEBRIEF
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MY JOURNEY
• My realizations
– I talk too much – silence is key
– I want to convince
– My presence is on and off
– I’m the smartest and the world needs to know what I
have to say
• From now on
– I will know myself better
– I will try to be a role model
PRESENCE > NON JUDGMENT > SILENCE
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”“
TIP 1: SELF AWARENESS
Self-awareness is one of the rarest of human commodities. I
don't mean self-consciousness where you're limiting and
evaluating yourself. I mean being aware of your own patterns.
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COMMUNICATION ICEBERG
Facts
Emotions / Feelings
Values, beliefs, frameworks
• Chit chatCosmetic
• Self centered
• I (…feel the same, …want to ask, …want to know…)
Conversational
• Mirroring, paraphrasing
• Physical posture
• Body language, tone of voice
Active
• Keywords
• UnsaidDeep
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GO DEEPER
• Rotate roles in the triad
– Story teller: think of a topic that you need help with.
– Listener:
• Set your intention = be like water, explore
• Open questions
• Presence
• Be curious. Really. As much as you can. Make it artificial. Fake it. Play it. Focus on the
person. Let your curiosity guide you asking questions.
• Mirror
– Observer: well… observe
• 3 min
• 2 min debrief
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MY JOURNEY
• My realizations
– I’m Intellectual, Emotional
– I’m at ease with emotions
– I’m not (always) truly curious
– I (sometimes) take things personally
• From now on
– I’ll go out of my comfort zone and
experiment
FEEL > LISTEN > MIRROR > EMPATHIZE
Physical
EmotionalIntellectual
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“
TIP 2: GO BEYOND THE WORDS & FACTS
”If you change the belief first, changing the action is easier.
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C OAC H I N G
M O D E L S
• GROW
• Diverge / converge
• Many others…
HOLD THE FRAME
Reality Goal
Barriers
Options
Source: Executive Coach International
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C O A C H I N G C A N V A S
• By Martin Alaimo
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PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER ( H O M E W O R K )
• Coaching dojo: initiating significant conversations
• 6 ppl
– 1 person is the Seeker
– 4 are coaches
– 1 is an observer
• Try
– Have the model in mind. Connect questions with model.
– Ask open questions
– Be curious: Rephrase, Mirror, Explore
– Don’t provide solutions
– Use silence
– Feedback: True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind (THINK)
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MY JOURNEY
• My realizations
– I get lost in people’s stories
– I’m good at opening perspectives
• From now on
– I’ll bring more structure to the conversations
– I’ll improve my questioning: powerful questions
EXPLORE > ASK > STEER
convergediverge
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TIP 3: HOLD THE FRAME
“
”
Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water
into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it
becomes the bottle.
Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but
adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If
nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.
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AGILE COACH, A STRANGE BEAST
Consultant
Coach
Trainer
Change Leader
Expert
Mentor
Facilitator
Source: Agile coaching institute
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COACHING?
I have a
problem
What are
your
options?
I pay you to give
me answers, not
questions
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C O A C H I N G O R G A N I Z AT I O N S
• Is the client willing to be coached?
• Is coaching what the client need?
• What the client needs and wants are
2 different things
• Does the client know what coaching
is?
• What’s your preferred posture?
• Is it the right time for coaching?
THE RIGHT POSTURE AT THE RIGHT TIME
And you, in which organization do
you want to work?Source: Peter Green – Agile For All
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ASK > APPRECIATE
• Marshall Goldsmith
– “What Got you here won’t get you there”
• Feedforward
– Think of something you would like to change in your life
– Find someone
• A: Say your name
• A: Tell your issue (“Here is something I would like to improve in my life”)
• B: Offer 2 suggestions
• A: Say “Thank you”
– No explanations, no comments
– Rotate
– Shake hands
– Do the above with as many people as possible in the next 5 minutes
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TAKEAWAYS
• Mantras
– Presence > Non judgment > Silence
– Feel > Listen > Mirror > Empathize
– Explore > Ask > Steer
• Go further
– ICAgile, Agile Coaching Institute
– Coaching course
– Communication patterns: Non Violent Communication,
Transactional Analysis, Toltec Agreements, Core
Protocols
– Personalities: Process Communication, MBTI, 16PF,
Enneagram
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THANK YOU
“ ”Be the change that you wish to see in the world.
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FURTHER READING
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