The Cyclist - Curb Your Enthusiasm Spec

THE CYCLIST

Written by

Jay Pee

[email protected]

(Printed with an unregistered version of Fade In)

INT. CAR - DAY

LARRY drives his prius with JEFF in the passenger seat.

JEFFI never realized how slow you drive. We’re going to be late.

LARRYI’m a careful driver. Always have been. You knew that when you got in the car with me.

JEFFTee time is in ten minutes.

LARRYSlow and steady wins the race my friend.

Jeff is literally sweating. He positions all the AC vents within reach to blow directly on him.

JEFFAny progress on the dating front?

LARRYCan I tell you something? My dating life is now so pathetic that I can’t even get a woman in my dreams. Can you believe that?

JEFFLiterally in your dreams?

LARRYLast night I dreamed I was at the super market and this beautiful woman was in the same aisle as me.

Jeff blasts the AC. Larry pauses and stares for a moment.

LARRY (cont'd)So I walk up to her and I notice that eggs are on sale for twenty five cents a dozen. I couldn’t believe it. Could not believe it. So I started stacking eggs in my cart, to stock up before the sale ended.

JEFFAnd the woman?

(CONTINUED)


LARRYI don’t know she left or something. That’s my point, my mind didn’t even make her a relevant part of dream sequence after the egg sale price was revealed.

JEFFMaybe you went to bed hungry.

LARRYI wasn’t eating the eggs! Just buying them.

BANG! Larry SLAMS into something and the windshield cracks. Larry STOMPS on the breaks.

JEFFWhat did you do?!

LARRYWhat the hell was that?

The two get out of the car.

EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS

Larry and Jeff discover a CYCLIST and a mangled bicycle in front of Larry’s car.

JEFFYou hit somebody!

LARRYHe was riding on the wrong side!

JEFFHe was on a bike.

LARRYSo? That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have to obey traffic laws!

Jeff kneels down beside the cyclist.

JEFFHelp me get him up. (To the biker) You okay?

CYCLIST(Dazed) What? Yeah I think so.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:2.


LARRYSee? He’s fine.

CYCLISTI think I need an ambulance?

LARRYAn ambulance? You just said you were fine. Which is it?

Jeff helps the cyclist limp out of the road over to the sidewalk.

CYCLISTCan you call an ambulance please?

LARRYYou look fine. You’re fine. Jeff we’re going to be late here.

JEFFLarry call a damn ambulance!

Onlookers begin to gather at the scene.

LARRYTell you what. Get in the car and I’ll drive you to the hospital. It’s on the way.

CYCLISTYou just hit me, I’m not getting in the car with you. You’re a reckless driver.

LARRYI’m not reckless! I’m reck-full if anything. You were riding the wrong way!

CUT TO:

INT. CLUBHOUSE - DAY

Larry, Jeff and MARTY FUNKHOUSER dine at the golf clubhouse.

MARTYYou guys really screwed me today.

LARRYWe said we were sorry--

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:3.


MARTYReally screwed me.

JEFFI didn’t do anything, Larry almost killed somebody.

LARRYThey should have let us push back our tee time. Extenuating circumstances.

MARTYThey’re putting me on probation. One more missed tee time and they’ll consider kicking me out.

LARRYJust consider?

MARTYYes Larry, consider.

LARRYSo not for sure then?

JEFF(To Larry) You going to visit him in the hospital?

LARRYNah I don’t think so.

MARTYYou’re not going to visit him?

LARRYNah I think I’m good.

MARTYYou should visit him Larry.

LARRYListen. I’m not going to go. I did nothing wrong. If anything he should visit me here at the clubhouse and apologize for hurting Marty’s club status.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

The cyclist lays in bed aggressively changing the channels on the TV. Jeff walks in the room carrying flowers.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:4.


JEFFHey! How you doing? They said you were doing great, should be out today.

CYCLISTHey you’re the guy who helped me--

JEFFJeff. It’s Jeff.

CYCLISTJeff. Right. Thanks for coming by. That’s really nice of you. You didn’t have to do that.

Jeff puts the flowers on the bed side table.

JEFFAre you kidding? It’s nothing.

CYCLISTAre you alone?

JEFFWhat?

CYCLISTThe guy who hit me. Is he with you?

JEFFUh, he was, uh busy but he wanted to come by. He said he would try to later.

CYCLISTBusy huh?

JEFFYeah.

CYCLISTI had plans today too, and now I’m here.

CUT TO:

INT. RESTAURANT - DAY

Larry sits alone at a table reading the menu. Jeff walks in and sits across from him.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:5.


LARRYHey Jeff-oh. How you doing?

JEFFLiving the dream.

LARRYWhat’s that?

JEFFWhat?

LARRYWhat does that mean? Why would someone say that? What dream are you living exactly? Are you in some kind of fantasy world?

JEFFWhat? Forget it. It’s just a thing people say.

LARRYWhere do you even pick up such lingo? Is there a school for pretentious colloquial greetings?

JEFFThere is actually, I tried to get in but they rejected my application.

Larry continues to flip through the menu.

LARRYLook at this menu. No food descriptions. It’s like a gamble with what you order or you have to quiz the waiter about each the item.

Jeff picks up his menu.

LARRY (cont'd)I like as little conversing with the waiter as possible. This is practically forcing me to converse. Chicken carrot something? What is this? Chicken and carrots I would imagine, but what else? I can’t be sure. Is there seasoning? If so what kind? What about sauce? They give me nothing here.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:6.


JEFFI have news.

Larry looks up from his menu.

JEFF (cont'd)He wants to sue you.

LARRYWho?

JEFFWho?! The guy you hit. I visited him today.

LARRYYou visited him? Why the hell would you do that?

JEFFI felt bad.

LARRYYou have nothing to feel bad about. He should feel bad. All bikers should feel bad. Why do they continue to bike? Do they not know that the car was invented?

JEFFThat’s not the point.

LARRYThat’s exactly the point! They won’t let go of their outdated mode of transportation.

JEFFIs it mode?

LARRYIs it not? As that word came to me I wasn’t sure that it was right. IT’s one of those things I’ve always heard people say. I know things that are a la mode usually come with chocolate. Right?

JEFFI don’t know.

LARRYI guy of your uh--

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:7.


JEFFYes I’m fat Larry.

LARRYRight well I would think this would be your area of expertise.

JEFFIt hasn’t come up at my weekly fat person club.

The waiter comes over to the table.

WAITERAre you ready to order drinks or do you two have any questions about our menu?

LARRYI do have a question actually.

The waiter looks to Larry.

LARRY (cont'd)What does “a la mode” mean?

WAITEROh, I’m not sure.

LARRYYou’re not sure?

WAITERYes I’m sorry. Where do you see that on the menu?

The waiter peaks over Larry’s shoulder to see the menu.

LARRYWell I’ll be honest, it’s not on the menu but I feel like it’s general knowledge.

JEFFYou don’t know what it means.

LARRYThat true, but I’m not a waiter. I’m not in the profession.

WAITERI’m sorry-- I can come back after you’ve had a few minutes?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:8.


LARRYNo that’s okay, we’re ready to order. Tell me about this chicken carrot bull shit.

EXT. RESTAURANT - DAY

Larry and Jeff walk towards their cars. They stop at Larry’s car.

JEFFYou going to me follow me back?

LARRYNow?

JEFFYeah you still want to watch the game right?

LARRYIt’s not for another hour. What are we going to do for an hour?

JEFFI don’t know. They have a pregame show.

LARRYForty five minutes of commercials with footage of the players stretching is not much of a show.

JEFFI think Susie’s home.

LARRYYou’re not helping your case.

JEFFI mean she could make us snacks.

LARRYWe just finished eating!

Jeff starts walking towards his car.

LARRY (cont'd)Fine I’ll see you there.

CONTINUED:9.


INT. JEFF’S HOUSE - DAY

Larry lets himself in. He can hear SUSIE yelling at Jeff in the kitchen.

INT. JEFF’S KITCHEN - DAY

SUSIEYou see? You see this?

Susie waves a dirty glass in Jeff’s face.

SUSIE (cont'd)You rinse Jeff. You rinse. Otherwise it doesn’t come clean.

LARRYHey.

SUSIEHey Lar.

LARRYTrouble with the dishwasher?

SUSIETrouble with the idiot loading the dishwasher.

Jeff shrugs.

LARRYCan I tell you something? I’m a masterful dishwasher operator.

JEFFOh really?

LARRYAbsolutely. She’s right Jeff, you must rinse. It’s one of the major tenants of my dishwasher loading philosophy.

SUSIEYou see?

Larry grins in agreement.

SUSIE (cont'd)And he stacks shit on top of everything. Nothing is clean.

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

10.(Printed with an unregistered version of Fade In)

I’m going to have to run all of SUSIE (cont'd)

this again. Two runs for one load.

LARRYYou can’t over stack, Jeff. Cannot over stack.

JEFFIt’s not a big deal.

SUSIEYES IT IS JEFF! Now Sammy has to drink juice out of a wine glass. The neighbors are going to think we’re crazy people.

LARRYI once broke up with a woman who couldn’t load a dishwasher.

JEFFWhat?

LARRYI couldn’t take it anymore and she didn’t show any potential for improvement.

Jeff and Larry start to walk towards the living room as Susie reorganizes the dishwasher.

SUSIEHey Larry what’s this about you not visiting that guy in the hospital?

Jeff and Larry stop and turn around.

LARRY(To Jeff) You told?

Jeff shrugs. Larry turns back to Susie.

SUSIEOf course he told. Larry go visit that poor man in the hospital, you ruined his life.

LARRYNothing was ruined other than Funkhouser’s status at the club.

SUSIEWhat?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:11.


LARRYWell they said “consider” but Marty seemed concerned.

SUSIE(To Jeff) What?

LARRYHe’s milking it. He was dancing around with Jeff seconds after it happened. Then he saw who I was and figured he was in for a big pay day.

SUSIEHe’s in the hospital Larry, he’s not faking it!

LARRYHe’s faking it. He wants to pull a scam on me. In Russia they dive out in front of cars for money all the time. I’ve seen it on the internet. He’s pulling that scam on me here. I’m not falling for it!

JEFFHe was writhing in pain when I saw him.

LARRYIt’s an act! What you saw was what I can only assume was fake writhing in fake pain. The writhing was not genuine.

INT. HOSPITAL LOBBY - DAY

The Cyclist wears an arm brace (no cast, just the brace) and signs paperwork.

CYCLISTSo I’m all set?

NURSEYou’re free to go. No fractures. Take some ibuprofen if you feel you need it.

CYCLISTGreat thanks.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:12.


NURSEFeel better!

INT. LARRY’S OFFICE - DAY

Larry sits behind his desk. His phone RINGS. Larry picks it up.

LARRYHello?

JEFFYou ready for lunch?

LARRYIt’s eleven in the morning. Who’s hungry at this time. I could get soup or something small I suppose.

CUT TO:

INT. RESTAURANT - DAY

Jeff sits at a table eating bread. Larry walks in.

LARRYYou order?

JEFFNot yet.

Larry sits down.

LARRYYou seem to be struggling with the bread.

Jeff makes a mess as he attempts to butter the role.

JEFFThe butter was frozen or something it’s like a brick. How am I supposed to spread this?

Larry stabs a brick of butter with his knife to closer examine it.

LARRYWhy do they freeze this stuff? At least microwave it a bit before you put it out.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:13.


Larry observes Jeff struggle some more.

JEFF(With a mouthful) Hey, look over there. Recognize anyone?

The two look over to see the Cyclist, wearing the arm brace sitting at the bar talking to a BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.

LARRYCome on let’s go.

JEFFWhat? Why?

LARRYI don’t want there to be a whole thing with him. If he sees us then he’s going to come over and yell at me in front of everyone.

JEFFJust go burry the hatchet.

Jeff continues to aggressively butter his bread.

LARRYI’m not apologizing.

JEFFFine. Don’t apologize, just go ask him how he’s doing.

LARRYThat woman he’s with is gorgeous.

JEFFOut of his league.

LARRYHow’d he get her?

JEFFYou can ask him when you go talk to him.

Larry begrudgingly gets up and walks over to the cyclist.

INT. RESTAURANT BAR - MOMENTS LATER

Larry approaches the cyclist and his date.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:14.


LARRYExcuse me. Uh, yes hi, remember me?

The cyclist turns to Larry then back to the woman.

CYCLIST(To woman) I’ll call you later alright?

The woman smiles and walks away. The cyclist turns back to Larry.

CYCLIST (cont'd)Sorry about that. Yes I remember you. You’re the guy that hit me.

LARRYAccidently hit you, and you were going the wrong way if you remember that as well.

CYCLISTListen I’m not mad anymore.

LARRYCyclists should obey the same laws as-- What’s that?

CYCLISTI’m not angry with you.

LARRYMy associate said you were going to sue me.

CYCLISTThat was before. This accident was the best thing to ever happen to me.

Larry sits down at the seat next to him, perplexed.

LARRYWhat?

CYCLISTThis might be hard to believe but prior to the accident I was not doing so well with the ladies.

LARRYWhat? A guy like you? I don’t believe it.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:15.


CYCLISTIt’s true. But this accident; I don’t know if it makes me interesting or they have sympathy for me but they hang on my every word.

LARRYMaybe it’s their natural instincts to want to nurse people back to health? Like a motherly instinct?

CYCLISTI don’t know what it is but it’s working and I have you to thank.

Larry motions “no problem” with his hand gestures.

LARRYSo the sympathy angle really works?

CYCLISTOh it’s great, really great.

LARRYCause I mean biking is an outdated mode of transportation. Do any of them bring that up?

CYCLISTIs it mode or moat?

LARRYI’m not sure. I thought mode.

CYCLISTI thought moat.

LARRYMoat? That doesn’t make sense. Like a castle?

CYCLISTYeah. People travel over the moat to get in the castle. They transport over the moat. Moat of transportation.

LARRYThat makes more sense than chocolate.

CYCLISTWhat?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:16.


LARRYWell I’m happy for you, sincerely and I, uh, hope your luck continues.

CYCLISTThanks, uh--

LARRYLarry.

CYCLISTLarry, right.

LARRYWell I’ll leave you to it.

Larry walks away with a big smile.

INT. RESTAURANT - MOMENTS LATER

Larry returns to the table.

JEFFSo?

LARRYHe’s grateful I hit him.

JEFFHe is not.

LARRYHe’s using his fake injury to get women.

Jeff looks perplexed.

JEFFYou know that’s not a terrible strategy.

LARRYWhat? It’s dishonest!

JEFFSo what? All of dating is dishonesty. You think Susie would have married me if she knew half the shit I did? He found a loop hole and exploited it.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:17.


LARRYIt’s disgusting. Making a fake injury to get sympathy? Who does that? It’s manipulative is what it is.

JEFFI think you’re jealous.

LARRYI am not jealous. I just don’t like liars.

Jeff roles his eyes while continuing to butter bread.

INT. MOVIE THEATER LOBBY - DAY

Larry and DIANE, an attractive woman in her 40s leave the theater with a crowd of other theater goers.

LARRYWhat’d you think?

DIANEI thought it was really good. Did you?

LARRYEh.

DIANEWhat? You didn’t like it?

LARRYEh. I wasn’t buying it.

DIANEWell I thought it was cute.

The two exit the theater to the street.

EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS

Larry and Diane stand out front of the theater.

LARRYWhat do you want to do now?

Diane laughs.

LARRY (cont'd)What?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:18.


DIANEIs that your pickup line?

LARRYWhat? There’s no line. It’s not even a pickup. More of a question albeit open ended.

DIANEOh, um, no I think I’ll get going.

LARRYThat’s it?

DIANEHuh?

LARRYNo reason; just “get going”

DIANEI had a very nice time tonight Larry.

LARRYBut not nice enough to continue the evening, is that what you’re saying? So more of a medium nice time than a very nice time?

DIANEI have to go Larry.

Diane walks away.

LARRYIs this because I didn’t like the movie?

INT. GOLF CLUB LOCKER ROOM - DAY

Larry and Jeff get changed after playing golf.

JEFFNo reason?

LARRYNone?

JEFFDid you ask why?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:19.


LARRYI did.

JEFFAnd?

LARRYNothing.

JEFFThat’s brutal.

LARRYAt least make something up for me. That’s the least she could do. It’s common courtesy.

JEFFYou’d rather she lie?

LARRYYes!

JEFFI thought you didn’t like liars.

LARRYWell in this case it’s okay. She’d be lying for a good reason.

Marty Funkhouser walks in the locker room.

JEFFHey Marty!

LARRYWhere were you?

MARTYI was late. Okay Larry?

LARRYI gathered that much.

MARTYI got into an accident.

JEFFAre you okay? What happened.

MARTYIt’s fine some guy rear ended me.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:20.


LARRYCar okay?

MARTYThe car is fine Larry.

LARRYI must say I’m sensing a little hostility from you.

MARTYThey’re suspending my golf privileges.

JEFFWhat?

MARTYBecause I missed our tee time.

LARRYI don’t understand. Jeff and I made it so why would they suspend you?

MARTYThey said I’m hurting the integrity of the course.

JEFFThat’s bull shit!

MARTYI need you to fix this Larry.

LARRYWhat? Why me? I didn’t rear end you.

MARTYThey wouldn’t have suspended me if you two weren’t late last week. Now they’re saying there’s a pattern of behavior with my conduct.

LARRYPattern? What pattern? There’s not pattern.

MARTYJust fix it Larry.

Marty storms out of the locker room. Jeff gives Larry a look like “I don’t know what that was about”.

CONTINUED:21.


INT. BAR - NIGHT

Larry talks with BRENDA, an attractive woman in her 40s.

LARRYSo the system works!

BRENDAIt might but it’s not the only system that works.

LARRYThat’s true but it does work the best therefor it’s the best system.

BRENDABut if you have one of those high powered ones you can stack everything and they’ll still come out clean.

LARRYYou would think that but they don’t, they don’t get as clean as they could be if the system wasn’t followed.

Brenda looks bored.

CUT TO:

INT. BAR - NIGHT

Larry talks with AMY, a woman in her late 30s.

LARRYAnd I thought it meant chocolate.

AMYNo that’s only for dessert.

LARRYWell I know that now.

AMYSo why would you think--

CUT TO:

INT. BAR - NIGHT

Larry talks with Diane.

(CONTINUED)

22.(Printed with an unregistered version of Fade In)

DIANEWhy would it be moat?

LARRYLike a castle.

DIANEThat doesn’t make sense.

LARRYI think it does if you think about it. It makes a lot of sense.

CUT TO:

INT. BAR - NIGHT

Brenda gets up and leaves Larry much to his dismay. He gestures “What?” With his hands.

CUT TO:

INT. BAR - NIGHT

Amy gets up and leaves Larry.

LARRYWhat? Come on--

CUT TO:

INT. BAR - NIGHT

Diane leaves Larry.

LARRYWhat? No reason? Nothing?

INT. GOLF CLUB LOCKER ROOM - DAY

Larry and Jeff get dressed after a round of golf.

JEFFYou going to go talk to them?

LARRYI’ll smooth it over. I can be very smoothing when I want to be.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:23.


JEFFGood luck. Don’t piss them off and get suspended too.

Larry makes a face at Jeff “Who? Me?”.

JEFF (cont'd)How’d your date go last night?

LARRYCan I tell you something? I don’t understand women.

JEFFShocking.

LARRYI’m offering up interesting conversation and a free dinner and they won’t even pretend to look interested.

Jeff finishes tying his shoes and gets ready to leave.

JEFFSo it didn’t go well?

LARRYNone of my dates have been going well. I’m not into it. The whole dating thing. I want to be the woman, get the free meal and not have to add input to the conversation. That’s the ticket. They got a whole racket on the dating thing.

JEFFSee you tomorrow.

Jeff leaves.

INT. GOLF CLUB OFFICE - DAY

Larry walks into a tiny office. GERRY, a man of self proclaimed importance leans back in his chair.

GERRYLarry.

LARRYHey! Gerry. How you doin?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:24.


GERRYI’m doing well Larry. What can I do for you?

Larry looks at Gerry’s name plaque on the desk.

LARRYIt’s Gerry with “G”?

GERRYThat’s right.

LARRYHuh. I always thought “J”.

GERRYNo.

LARRYBecause I knew a Gerry with a “J”.

GERRYIt’s always been a G.

LARRYShort for Gerald perhaps?

GERRYNo.

LARRYOh.

GERRYIs there something I can do for you Larry?

Larry sits down across from Gerry.

LARRYI heard that Marty got suspended.

GERRYOh, I won’t discuss the conduct of other members.

LARRYListen I don’t think that’s reasonable. He made a tee time for the morning and Jeff and I were still there. We played at his time. Why does it matter if he was there or not?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:25.


GERRYWell members can’t make tee times for others.

LARRYIt wasn’t on purpose he was in a car accident.

GERRYAh yes. Apparently a lot of our members have been missing tee times due to car accidents lately.

LARRYIs that aimed at me? What are you implying?

GERRYA missed tee time is a missed tee time. I’m sorry Larry there’s nothing I can do. We have a zero tolerance policy.

LARRYWell there is something you can do. You could lift the suspension.

GERRYI can’t do that.

LARRYYou can do that. You won’t do it, but you could. It’s literally within your power to do it, you just won’t.

GERRYI’m sorry Larry we won’t be lifting the suspension.

LARRYOkay.

Larry, suspiciously stares at Gerry, inching closer to his face.

CUT TO:

EXT. GOLF CLUB - DAY

Jeff loads his clubs into his car. Larry approaches.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:26.


JEFFThat was quick. How’d it go?

LARRYNot well Jeff. Not well.

JEFFThe suspension stands?

LARRYOh no, I got Marty’s suspension lifted.

JEFFThat’s great.

LARRYExcept now I’m suspended.

Jeff gives Larry a “What did you do” look.

INT. BAR - NIGHT

Larry sits with TINA, a woman in her mid 40s.

TINAHe was grateful you hit him?

LARRYGrateful!

TINAWhy? That doesn’t make sense.

LARRYWell he said--

Larry sips his drink, it looks like an idea just occurred to him.

LARRY (cont'd)Actually he said he was happy he got the same doctor I have.

TINASame doctor?

LARRYThis is hard for me to say, I don’t really like talking about it but I, uh, had cancer, still do actually.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:27.


TINAWhat? How could you not have told me that? That’s awful.

LARRYYou know something? It is awful. But I don’t like to dwell on it. I do not dwell, I’ve never been a dweller. I don’t like the sympathy-- Cannot stand the sympathy looks I get.

TINAI feel so bad I wish I would have known.

LARRYOh it’s nothing.

TINAWhat kind of cancer is it?

Jeff walks over.

JEFFHey!

LARRYJeff this is Tina.

JEFFHey Tina how you doing?

LARRYJeff’s my manager.

TINAHi Jeff.

JEFFHow you doing?

TINASorry I’m a little off. Larry just told me about the cancer.

JEFFCancer?

Larry makes a face at Jeff and nods.

JEFF (cont'd)Ohhh the cancer. Right.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:28.


Jeff gives a judgmental look to Larry.

LARRYI was just telling her that it was touch and go but they say I’m a fighter. Who knew? I never really fought as a kid but I guess I had it in me.

Jeff glares at Larry.

LARRY (cont'd)Well it was nice seeing Jeff.

Larry motions Jeff to move along.

JEFFOh. Alright nice meeting you Tina.

Tina waves goodbye to Jeff.

LARRYSo you want to get out of here?

TINAWhat?

LARRYI’ve got a new cappuccino maker at my house. Best cappuccino you’ve ever tasted.

Tina looks distraught.

LARRY (cont'd)Well okay, maybe not the best but pretty damn good.

TINASure.

LARRYReally?!

TINAOkay sure. That sounds nice Larry.

INT. CAR - NIGHT

Larry drives his prius with a grin on his face, clearly pleased with himself. Tina sits in the passenger seat.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:29.


LARRYHow you doing over there?

TINAOh I’m fine.

LARRYFine is good. Very good.

TINAActually I’m really cold all of the sudden. I think I’m coming down with something.

LARRYYou’re sick? Like vomit sick? Should I pull over?

Larry aggressively pulls over.

TINANo not like that. I think I have a cold or something. Feel my hands they’re freezing.

Tina touches Larry’s hand and he noticeably cringes.

LARRYThat’s not so bad. Maybe you have bad circulation.

TINAI think I should go home. I don’t want to get you sick.

LARRYWhat? You’re fine. The cappuccino will warm you up.

TINAI’m sorry I’m just not feeling well. Maybe some other time?

LARRYYou want me to drive you home?

TINANo I’ll get out here I live two blocks away.

Tina exits the car and quickly walks away. Larry leans over the passenger side seat to yell out the window.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:30.


LARRYI’ll call you.

Tina waves without saying anything.

As Larry leans over he realizes he’s being blasted in the face with the AC, that Jeff adjusted.

LARRY (cont'd)It’s freezing over here.

Larry continues to drive and passes a super market with a sign reading “Fresh Farm Eggs On Sale - Today Only!”

Larry looks intrigued. He pulls into the parking lot.

CONTINUED:31.


The Cyclist - Curb Your Enthusiasm Spec

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Transcript of The Cyclist - Curb Your Enthusiasm Spec