The Countdown BONewsletter is on! BON’s...
21
The Countdown is on! BON’s 2013 23rd Annual Conference Change, Transition & Transformation Healing after Loss... October 16, 17, 18 Pre-Conference Retreat Day October 16 Geneva Park Orillia Early Bird Registration Extended Until September 30th! Don’t delay! BONewsletter September 2013 Inside this issue: BON information 2,3 Chair & Web Guys 4 Regional Reports 5-16 Book Reviews 17-19 CDN Virtual Hospice 20 Article ‘DSM-5’ 21 Geneva Park, Orillia
Transcript of The Countdown BONewsletter is on! BON’s...
The Countdown
is on!
BON’s 2013
23rd Annual
Conference
Change,
Transition
& Transformation
Healing after Loss...
October 16, 17, 18
Pre-Conference
Retreat Day
October 16
Geneva Park
Orillia
Early Bird
Registration
Extended Until
September 30th!
Don’t delay!
BONewsletter September 2013
Inside this issue:
BON information 2,3
Chair & Web Guys 4
Regional Reports 5-16
Book Reviews 17-19
CDN Virtual Hospice 20
Article ‘DSM-5’ 21
Geneva Park, Orillia
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Near North Region (Cochrane, Muskoka, Nipissing,
Parry Sound, Timiskaming & Timmins)
- Richard Paul ~ [email protected]
Niagara Region (Haldimand, Lincoln, Norfolk
& Welland)
- Janet Devine ~ [email protected]
North West Region (Kenora, Rainy River & Thunder Bay)
(currently vacant)
Ottawa Capital Region (Lanark, Leeds & Grenville,
Ottawa-Carlton, Prescott & Russell, Renfrew, Stormont,
Dundas & Glengarry)
- Margaret Burnside ~
- Linda Robillard ~
Peterborough Region (Haliburton, Northumberland, Peterborough & Victoria)
- Jill Sadler ~ [email protected]
Simcoe-York-Dufferin Region (Simcoe, Dufferin &
Durham County, north of Stouffville & York County, north of
Markham & Richmond Hill)
(currently vacant)
Sudbury-Sault Ste. Marie Region (Algoma, Manitoulin & Sudbury)
- Betty Ann McPherson ~
Bereavement Ontario Network
174 Oxford Street Woodstock, ON N4S 6B1
Telephone 519-266-4747
Email: [email protected]
Website: www.BereavementOntarioNetwork.ca
BON Regional Representatives
Belleville-Kingston Region (Frontenac, Hastings,
Lennox & Addington, & Prince Edward)
- Maggie Forsberg ~ [email protected]
Chatham-Windsor-Sarnia Region (Essex, Kent, Lambton)
- Sonia McMahon-Comartin ~ [email protected]
& Connie Manning ~ [email protected]
Durham Region ~ formerly GTA East (east
of Don Valley Parkway incl. Durham-south of Stouffville)
- Fran King ~ [email protected]
Grey-Bruce Region (currently vacant)
GTA West (north to Markham, Richmond Hill & Peel)
(currently vacant)
Halton-Hamilton Region (Halton-Hamilton-Wentworth)
- Bev Wilson ~ [email protected]
Huron-Perth Region - Eugene Dufour ~ [email protected]
Kitchener-Waterloo Region (Brant, Oxford, Waterloo & Wellington)
- Marny Williams-Balodis ~ [email protected]
& Beth Bailey ~ [email protected]
London-St. Thomas Region (Elgin & Middlesex)
- Thia Harrison ~ [email protected]
& Barb Saunders ~ [email protected]
Board of Directors
Chair
Janet Devine
Past Chair
Bev Wilson
Vice Chair
Betty Ann McPherson
Treasurer
Grant Churcher
Advisor to the Board
Susan McCoy
Administrative Assistant
Kelly Simmons
We greatly appreciate
the support of our
members in locating
new regional representatives.
Would you be
interested in joining
our team? If so, please
see page 3 for further
information.
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BON Mission Statement
Bereavement Ontario Network is a network of individuals,
groups, and organizations which, through the exchange of
ideas, resources, and energy, is dedicated to helping the
bereaved and the dying.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bereavement Ontario Network (BON) is a diverse group
of organizations and individuals across Ontario that work
in the field of grief and bereavement as professionals and
volunteers.
BON provides opportunities to access, in a reciprocal
manner, the knowledge, experience, wisdom, and
sensitivity of other members in Ontario. You can use
BON to access this support for your clients and yourself.
Membership in the Bereavement Ontario Network is
open to individuals, volunteer organizations, small
business, and corporations. If your work brings you in
contact with bereaved individuals, BON can help you to
help them.
BON offers an annual conference, a directory of
members, this newsletter, website, and the services of
volunteer regional representatives. These representatives
are available to answer questions and to refer you to
available resources within your region.
About the BONewsletter
Help us to help you! The BONewsletter belongs to you! We encourage
your contributions by submitting articles, book
reviews, and audiovisual reviews. Let us know
about news in your region, any upcoming events, as
well as your comments and suggestions. Tell us
about a great website that we can share with
everyone in the BON “Network” across Ontario.
We will accept previously published articles that
are accompanied by written permission to reprint.
BON reserves the right to edit all contributions for
clarity, punctuation, spelling, grammar and syntax.
The BONewsletter is published four times a
year - January, May, September &
November.
*Deadline for the Post
Conference edition is Friday,
November 1st. Please
submit on time. Thank you.
Please send your submissions via email to:
Newsletter Editor: Janet Devine
BON Regional Representatives are the face of BON in the 16 Regions of Ontario.
With the members of their region, they provide the vital service of finding and connecting people involved in bereavement
care and education in their part of Ontario. They bring the news of BON to its members and the ideas and concerns of its
members to the Board. Regional Reps help members get to know one another and share news (conferences, workshops,
new books, and highlights) with one another. They find ways to connect members of the public with the services of local
BON members. As the annual conference approaches, they ensure members and member organizations are aware of all of
the ways to participate, attend and enjoy the conference to the fullest. Regional Representatives ensure that the Network
that is BON is a vital force of connection to the people and resources that care for those who mourn in Ontario. Regional
Representatives are part of the BON Board and attend in-person (currently once-a-year + conference) and Skype conference
calls (as needed). Board members are able to attend the annual conference at cost. Being a Regional Representative provides
an opportunity to make a real contribution to the grief, loss and bereavement work in one’s region and the province.
You become part of a team of dedicated, passionate and visionary care providers. It is rewarding work.
We would like to know whether this is something that might interest you individually or as a team or perhaps you could help
put us in touch with some possible candidates in your region.
Thanks, Betty Ann McPherson
BON Vice Chair, Regional Rep Liaison
Email: [email protected]
There are Regional Rep openings available for the Grey-Bruce Region, the GTA West Region,
the North West Region and the Simcoe-York-Dufferin Region.
Please consider joining our great team!
BON Regional Representative Job Description
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Message from BON’s “web guys”
Website Links Button If you are listed on our links page please check to make sure that your link is current.
If you are a member and would like to be added to our links page please let us know.
Links info/queries should be directed to Grant Churcher - [email protected]
Website Calendar of Events Button Upcoming events will be posted on a regular basis. Informational material being submitted for the website
should be submitted in simple WORD format (Arial 14 point) to allow for easier input onto the website.
BON would like to maintain a uniform appearance on the calendar of events page.
Calendar of Events info should be sent to Richard Paul - [email protected]
Additional Note - Richard would appreciate it if the word “website” would appear in the subject
heading of the email so that calendar of event information will not be misfiled.
BON member Email Notices of Upcoming Events Members should contact the BON office directly at [email protected]
For Changes in Directory Information Members should contact the BON office directly at [email protected]
Please Note - The Website Directory will be updated on a regular basis.
Message from the Chair Hello BON members, and welcome new BON members!
It has been a busy summer here at BON! An enormous amount of time and energy have gone into preparing
BON’s new constitution. It has been a work in progress for several years and this week you will receive the final
draft that will be presented at the AGM during the Annual Fall Conference. Enormous thanks must go to the
constitution committee ~ Grant Churcher, Richard Paul and Bev Wilson ~ who created the first draft that you
received. William Cook was on the original committee and then was instrumental in arranging legal review of
this completed draft. Our final draft is one that the BON executive committee believes will serve both our
organization and members well ~ maintaining a firm foundation but allowing flexibility for change as we look to
the future and seek to move forward with new initiatives and ideas. Exciting times!
The BON board meeting in November will be the setting for dialogue and discussion on many topics ranging
from membership to regional boundaries to future rebranding. Your comments, ideas and suggestions are
important and welcome. What do you like about BON? What are we doing well? What could we be doing
better? Don’t be shy! We need to hear from you!
And last but not least ~ the upcoming conference! Marny and committee have been working long and hard!
We are pumped and ready to go! We would love to have you there! If you can’t make it for the full conference
please think about attending the pre-conference or coming for part of the conference. We do have several
options available and it is always great to connect face to face even if only for a brief period of time.
My “ritual of arrival” at Geneva Park is to unwind with a walk along the
lake to “the rock” ~ waves lapping, leaves rustling, breezes off the lake ~
what a wonderful way to begin the conference! Hoping to see you there!
Cheers! Janet Devine
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I am so excited about all the programs available in the Belleville-Kingston area. We are so fortunate to have so many
amazing volunteers in our area to run the programs. Our volunteers work very hard to provide compassion to all the
people they support. It is the volunteers who tirelessly work to ensure our programs, events, and fundraising endeavours
are successful.
On behalf of all our BON members in the Belleville-Kingston area we would like to say THANK YOU!
Bereaved Families of Ontario Kingston Region
I am very happy to announce the starting of a new program at BFO Kingston. We will be hosting an “Afternoon Grief
Share”. This program will run once a month and anyone who is grieving is welcome to attend.
This fall BFO Kingston will be running two “Teen Grief Programs” at two local high schools. We are very proud to be
returning to Regiopolis Notre Dame for a 3rd semester. We welcome Julie McIntyre to our team. Julie will be introducing
“Art Therapy” into our program. Arrangements are still being made with the other High School. We will also be running a
“Boys Teen Grief Program” at a later time.
September guest speaker Heather Decloux will talk about ways to deal with unwelcome and misguided advice when you are
grieving.
Please refer to our website www.bfo-kingston.ca for more info regarding these or the many other programs offered by
Bereaved Families of Ontario Kingston Region. 613-634-1230
Hospice Kingston
As usual our friends at Hospice Kingston are keeping themselves very busy this fall. They will be running a 7 week adult
bereavement support group. Hospice Kingston and James Reid Funeral Home will also be hosting a “Walking Through
Grief Nature Walk”. It is a time to walk and talk at a relaxed pace with others, to share ideas and support each other in
the outdoors. If you are lonely and unsure about the future and would like to make connections with people and be in
nature, this walk is for you. All bereaved individuals who have experienced the death of someone significant are welcome to
attend either program. Please see the website for more information www.hospicekingston.ca or 613-542-5013.
It’s that time of year again - Hospice Kingston is gearing up for their 23rd annual “Chili Fest”. You are never disappointed
when you sample all the different kinds of chili Kingston has to offer. This is an all-day event and proceeds benefit Hospice
Kingston. Please see the website for more details. www.chilifest.ca
James Reid Funeral Home
James Reid Funeral Home will host a Public Information Night once a month. They also provide individual or family
bereavement support. “Walking Through Grief” program takes place at Lemoine Point Conservation. This is a joint
program with Hospice Kingston. Please visit www.jamesreidfuneralhome.com or call 613-544-3411 for more details.
Hospice Prince Edward
Hospice Prince Edward is busy getting ready for their Autumn Leaves Gala “City of Lights”. This will be a wonderful
evening to come together with family and friends and form new memories. Have fun and help a great organization. The
proceeds from this event will go to a community residential hospice. For more details please visit
www.hospiceprinceedward.ca
Hospice Quinte
Hospice Quinte has numerous programs available to help support the dying and the bereaved. They provide support for
people caring for their loved ones as well as support groups for people who have had a significant loss in their life. There is
a Mother’s Group, a Day Program, as well as a Care Share Group and “start the conversation about the end of life”. For
more information about these and other programs and services please visit www.hospice-quinte.ca
Hospice Quinte and Camp Trillium will be co-hosting a golf tournament at the end of September. It will take place at the
Bayview Golfing Center. Proceeds will go to support Hospice Quinte and Camp Trillium. For more information visit
www.hospice-quinte.ca/news-events/upcoming-events/
BON News From Across The Regions Thank you to all Regional Reps who submitted the
following reports on time! You are the best!
Belleville-Kingston Region
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Hospice Lennox & Addington
Mourning Has Broken Bereavement Support Group - this group is confidential, caring and provides an opportunity to be
with people who know and feel the pain you may be experiencing.
Facing the Holidays - many who are grieving experience heightened emotional pain and uncertainty as special holidays
approach. Ideas and tips on how to get through holidays and other special days are shared.
The Bereavement Program assists families and friends grieving the diagnosis of a terminal illness, or those grieving the loss of
their loved one. Our programs, again, offer care and compassion at no cost to the client and through trained bereavement
volunteers. We want to support others in the community who are dealing with the emotions of grief.
For more information please visit our website www.landahospice.ca
The Edith Fox Life & Loss Centre
We provide a caring environment that recognizes and validates individual life and loss experiences to encourage healing
within the group process.
Through our federal non-profit charity we provide clinical grief counseling and therapy in a safe, creative and natural
environment, utilizing the human-animal bond, horticultural experiences and the arts.
We are committed to building better communities by fostering a natural understanding of loss as a part of life.
Often addressing a child’s very first loss experience is critical to normalizing the grief process and developing healthy and
positive skills for Life.
For more information on our programs please visit our website www.edithfoxcentre.org
Respectfully submitted by Maggie Forsberg
Belleville-Kingston BON Regional Representative
Email: [email protected]
Message from Maggie ~
Thank you to everyone in the Belleville-Kingston area for
working so hard to help the sick and bereaved in our
community. I would like to wish everyone at BON and all
our BON members a very Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving.
Chatham-Windsor-Sarnia Region
Greetings from Chatham-Windsor!
As Margie Kennedy-Reeves describes in GRIEF is a process not an event, “Grief can be analogous to waves hitting on
the shore. At first the waves are large and powerful, and may knock us down for a while. As we work through our grief,
the waves begin to subside. They batter us less often and they decrease in size and impact. When we haven’t noticed any
waves for a while, we know we are succeeding in looking forward and rebuilding our lives. It often happens that near special
days, or just a sentimental moment or memory, another wave will come along and make us cry or feel sadness again.
However, if we remember this is a normal part of our grief process, we can recover from the waves sooner and learn to
expect fewer of them in our future”.
As I enjoyed and explored the shores of various lakes with my family this summer, I reflected on the
reality how the pain of grief is so strong that it takes its toll on us. However, as each of us walk with
the bereaved, we help them to see the sunshine glimmering on the water once again...At times the light
is very faint, yet various loss experiences have made us aware that with hard work and maintaining
hope, it is possible to find happiness once again. As each of us enters the fall season, offering many
one-on-one sessions, workshops and support groups, may we continue to find strength in knowing that
we are helping others integrate loss into their lives, finding new meaning and growth opportunities.
Respectfully submitted by Sonia McMahon-Comartin
Chatham-Windsor BON Regional Representative
Email: [email protected]
VON Chatham-Kent Supportive Care Program ~ “Grieving Well”
Facilitated Grief Support Group
Every Tuesday beginning October 1st, 2013 for 8 weeks, Registration is required
To register or for more info please contact Jane Parr
519-352-4462 ext 5226 or email [email protected]
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Once again it has been busy here at the St. Joseph’s Hospice Children’s Program.
We always have programs running; illness support groups, bereavement support groups
and drop in. But in the summer we have Children’s Grief Camp. Three days of fun.
Yes, fun! We had 37 children and about 45 volunteers each day. This year the theme
was “Around the World in Three Days - How to care for yourself in grief”.
This imaginary cruise took us to a tropical island, the North Pole and then we traveled
back to Canada.
Day One - we learned to care for ourselves with a comfort box, yoga and relaxing breathing, and dunking the Captain
(the Captain is the E.D. of Hospice)
Day Two - we went to the North Pole. Talking about Special Occasions and how we are happy and sad during those
times. Then we made Christmas decorations, hug scarves and yes! Santa was here. We decorated Christmas cookies made
by the Hospice Volunteers. Presents for all the Children were donated by the community.
Day Three - we came back to
Canada. We looked at what we
are thankful for. Two police,
fireman and paramedics with the
ambulance were there.
And then a Butterfly release.
On the right, whispering a message to her Butterfly.
A wonderful three days.
The Children’s Program will continue in the fall with all our
regular programs. For more information call Connie at St Joseph’s
Hospice Sarnia, 519-337-0537.
Respectfully submitted by Connie Manning
Sarnia BON Regional Representative
Email: [email protected]
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Durham Region (formerly GTA East)
The weather this past August weekend was so glorious it is sad to think that our summer is almost at an end. I hope that you
have found the time to enjoy it and to renew your energies as the work that you do can sure be draining! I strongly
encourage you to attend our annual Bereavement Ontario Network Conference in October as it is a time to get together
with others who understand the work that you do in a healing setting so that you can focus on your own renewal and
professional development. I look forward to seeing you there!
Here is some information about events and resources that might be of interest to you:
Bereaved Families of Ontario Durham Region will be offering three Child Loss Drop-ins during the week and there will
be an Infant Loss Group as well as a Child Loss Group starting in the fall. They will also be holding an Adult Sibling Loss
Information Night with Dr. Brenda Marshall in November. Check out their website www.bfodurham.net for the dates and
full information.
Hearth Place Cancer Support Centre offers many innovative programs for families in the Durham Region
that are facing cancer. Go to www.hearthplace.org to check out all of their programs that are available free of
charge. BON member Tom Easthope will be starting the Namaste Grief Support Group at Hearth Place on
Tuesday, September 17th and it will run every other Tuesday for nine sessions concluding January 8th, 2014.
I just acquired the book by Patricia Morrisey, foreword written by Alan D. Wolfelt,
Companioning the Grieving Child Curriculum Book and am very impressed
by it. You can order it from www.centerforloss.com. You can download the PDF
files for activity handouts and worksheets by going to www.centerforloss.com.
Check them out and it will encourage you to order the book if you work with
children.
You can also download the PDF file of the article included on page 220 of the Alan D.
Wolfelt book Understanding Your Suicide Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones
for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart, for survivors who have friends and
family who want to help but don’t know how.
Go to downloads at www.centerforloss.com.
This summer I watched The Big C show finale and it was so powerful, touching, and amazing that I
hope that somehow you can watch the last 2 episodes. Go to:
http://www.hollywood.com/news/tv/55013932/the-big-c-series-finale-cathy-jamison-death
(Editor’s note - you can read Fran’s original review of The Big C on page 16 of the Winter 2012
edition of the BONewsletter - available on the BON website)
I would also recommend a beautiful song about loss sung by Beth Nielsen Chapman ~ on the loss of
her husband Ernest Chapman ~ Sand and Water.
It will take your breath away - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-kvYYPYWFg
Respectfully submitted by Fran King
Durham BON Regional Representative
Email: [email protected]
Grey-Bruce Region and GTA West Region
At the moment there are no Regional Reps in these areas.
Any suggestions for contacts in these areas would be greatly appreciated!
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Halton-Hamilton Region
This area is very rich in resources for supporting and working with the bereaved, with agencies offering outreach and support
such as Victim Services, Palliative Care, Hospices, Funeral Homes, and others. We would love to see your events and your
updates in this newsletter. Thank you to our current members for supporting BON in all the work you do. A warm welcome
to our new members, this newsletter is for you as we network together in education, support, and promoting our events.
The Grief of Suicide Loss Presented by: SafetyNet
Friends In Grief is pleased to have partnered with local agencies in providing facilitation
training for grief related to suicide loss. The second annual workshop was held in June at
The Coping Centre in Cambridge. This workshop is presented by SafetyNet. Friends In
Grief Hamilton, Suicide Prevention Community Council of Hamilton, Waterloo Region
Suicide Prevention Council, and The Coping Centre Cambridge. 30 registrants throughout
southern Ontario participated. Facilitation training is essential in offering quality support
groups, it is encouraging to know other agencies are eager to incorporate these skills into
their workplace. Another workshop will be offered in the spring of 2014. Friends In Grief
continues to support those bereaved by suicide through education, one-on-one support
and support groups.
Friends In Grief (FIG)
Offers one-on-one support, monthly and weekly support groups
Suicide Support Groups
Social events
Facilitation training
Contact: 905-318-0059, website - www.friendsingrief.ca, email - [email protected]
Hamilton/Burlington Bereavement Network
Monthly informal meeting with members of the community involved in the field of grief and bereavement
Sharing, networking, and awareness of local community activities and support for the bereaved
Contact: Julie Brooks at 905-574-5070
Respectfully submitted by Bev Wilson
Halton-Hamilton BON Regional Representative
Email: [email protected]
Hamilton
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Death cafes are part of a global movement
“To increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of our finite lives.”
We gather in a safe, relaxed setting to informally discuss death and celebrate life.
Coffee/tea and cake will be served.
For more information on death cafes go to www.deathcafe.com
Time: 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm (Doors open at 6:30)
Location: 14 Lennard Crescent, Dundas, Ontario L9H 6S5
Hosted by: BON member Rebecca Daum (Spectrum Counselling)
Please visit the Facebook Page: Hamiltondeathcafe
Space is limited & registration is required.
Please RSVP to: [email protected]
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Huron-Perth Region
There is a great deal of activity happening in Huron-Perth. There is a group from Perth County that is studying the idea of
creating a residential hospice. There are a few hospice palliative care services in Huron County that are completing strategic
plans. Some of this planning will be looking at the possibility of residential hospice. All of these developments will include
looking at ways to increase bereavement services. Very exciting time in Huron-Perth!
I would like to share a powerful experience that I had with a client last week. This gentleman’s wife died suddenly after 62
years of marriage. At one point in the session he said, “I cannot believe how much she took with her”. I have never heard
grief expressed that way before. What a beautiful compliment to his wife and to the 62 years that they spent together. It also
underlined the deep suffering he was experiencing, and that besides helpful suggestions, being present to acknowledge that
suffering is very important.
On a personal note, I would like to thank all of the BON members for all the support that I received over the summer as I
recuperated. On April 12th I had a heart attack and did not even know about it. It got picked up on my annual physical two
weeks after the event. So I had a nice visit to UH Hospital in London and had a stent put in for a blocked artery. Part of the
problem was “genetics” and my three sisters had to be tested and two are now on medication. I constantly remind them that
I saved their lives...yes...I am milking this for all I can. Thanks for all the support and good wishes. Back at work and doing
workshops.
(Editor’s Note - Eugene will be presenting a workshop at this year’s conference - Tool Time, Creating a Grief
Group and a Grief Education Session for Men)
Respectfully submitted by Eugene Dufour
Huron-Perth BON Regional Representative
Email: [email protected]
Wednesday, November 6th, 7:00 pm - 9:00pm
“The Blame Game” ~ Why do I feel so guilty?
Dr. Bill Webster
(inspirational speaker and talented writer)
Kitching, Steepe & Ludwig Funeral Home,146 Mill Street North, Waterdown
Please call to register: 905-689-4852 or email:
Alan D. Wolfelt ~ Author, Educator, Grief Counselor November 11th & 12th, 2013 ~ Hamilton, ON
Stay tuned for further info…….also just in
An Evening with Alan D. Wolfelt
Caboto Club, 2175 Parent Avenue, Windsor, ON Tuesday November 12th, 2013 from 6:00 to 9:00 pm
Free seminar sponsored by BON member Families First Funeral Home
Registration can be completed on-line at www.familiesfirst.net
“We look forward to having you join us for this evening of hope and healing.
This compassionate program will outline 50 practical touchstones that can assist you
as you mourn the death of someone in your life.”
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Announcement ~ Camp Widow® is coming to Canada!
Soaring Spirits International has announced that they are partnering with Rotary International to host the first ever
International Camp Widow® weekend! Rotary International has approved a funding grant, proposed by the Rotary Club
of Simi Valley and the Rotary Club of Burlington, that will provide program support to bring this one-of-a-kind weekend to
widowed people in Canada.
The Hummingbird Centre for Hope is thrilled to be working with the Soaring Spirits team
as we plan Camp Widow® Canada for September 26 - 28, 2014!
The Hummingbird Centre for Hope
is launching a new social media campaign!
Follow us on our Website, Facebook and Twitter where topics specific to the grief journey will be featured each month.
Useful blogs, websites and books will be highlighted, along with discussion questions, self-care tips and inspirational quotes.
All programming and registration information will be easily available too!
Upcoming topics will include:
September ~ Back to School, Routines and “Organization”
October ~ Men’s and Women’s Grief (or Instrumental & Intuitive Grievers) ~ Similarities & Differences
November ~ Supporting Grieving Children
December ~ Managing the Holiday Season
Please join us as we work together to build a community of support for widowed people and their children.
Widows’ Wellness Day
Saturday, October 26, 2013, 9:30 am - 4:30 pm, Islington Golf Club, for tickets visit
www.widowswellnessday.com
If you are a widow or widower, you’ll find something of value at Widows’ Wellness Day - an
inspiring day of fun and fabulous workshops designed to help you renew your energy and enthusiasm
and create a new roadmap for living.
Widows’ Wellness Day brings together an incredible network of expert speakers to share wisdom,
resources, practical advice and fellowship among people who share the life-altering experience of losing a
spouse. DON’T MISS THIS OPPORTUNITY TO GET INSPIRED Saturday, October 26th. Workshops,
materials, an elegant lunch, afternoon tea are all included for a nominal fee. Bring a friend or come alone -
you’ll be among friends the moment you arrive.
Workshop speakers include Marny Williams-Balodis,
BON member and co-founder of The Hummingbird Centre for Hope
Reminder
Glenn and Ros Crichton, BON members and co-founders of The Coping
Centre, Cambridge will be plenary presenters at this year’s conference.
They will be featuring work from their new book BLINDSIDED, a Game
Plan for Grief.
Respectfully submitted by Marny Williams-Balodis and Beth Bailey
Kitchener-Waterloo BON Regional Co-Representatives
Email: [email protected] (Marny) and [email protected] (Beth)
Marny & Beth
Kitchener-Waterloo Region
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Hello all! As the new representative for the London, Ontario area I want to extend a warm greeting to
all of our BON members and I hope to meet you in the near future. If you have any questions or
concerns please feel free to contact me and I will do my best to find you the answers or contacts you
need. I am working hard to familiarize myself with the London area and all the great resources this
beautiful city has to offer and I look forward to getting involved in community events and support
networks.
I am working towards my degree in Social Work and Thanatology, so my life at King’s is about to begin
with the start of the university year this week and will be busily filled with essays, exams and valuable
learning skills which I hope to be able to share in the community and beyond.
Here in London we are preparing for Children’s Grief Awareness Day which is the 3rd Thursday in November. You can
find information on how you too can honor and promote this day at the following link, which also includes a free toolkit that
you can use in your own communities. http://www.childrensgriefawarenessday.org/cgad/toolkit/index.shtml
Respectfully submitted by Thia Harrison
London BON Regional Representative
Email: [email protected]
News from St. Thomas ~ The area has been busy this past summer with a “Kid’s Grief Camp” and various Support Groups.
Fund Raiser: In benefit of Survivors of Suicide Loss Organization
Stories and Songs with Jamie Warren, Friday, October 25th, 2013, 8:00 pm, Dutton, ON
Contact Penny Knapp at [email protected]
www.rememberingnicholas.ca
“Healing a Heart’s Loss” has ongoing supportive grief workshops and support groups
Connect at http://www.healingaheartsloss.com/events/ for more specific information
November 8, 9 & 10 “Life after Loss” Grief Retreat Weekend, near Port Stanley
Contact Barb Saunders at 519-637-8458 or email [email protected]
Respectfully submitted by Barb Saunders
St. Thomas BON Regional Representative
Email: [email protected]
London-St. Thomas Region
Near North Region
The Near North Region of BON is one of the largest regions in the province. Yet, despite its vast size it
has very few members in BON in large part due to the small population and distances between
communities. Still, we have some very active pockets of bereavement related activities amongst the
members. And we are pleased to welcome back into the BON membership the Near North
Palliative Care Network (NNPCN). After transitions in staffing within both NNPCN and BON
over the last two years, the membership of NNPCN was unintentionally dropped but now it has been
renewed, and I welcome the organization back. NNPCN has been with BON since its inception under
its original ED Joan Burnett and now with the new ED Andre Cotterall. With a strong and dedicated
board and staff it is providing not only comprehensive palliative respite care and education but also
bereavement support within the wide area around North Bay.
NNPCN is offering two educational opportunities this fall. At its upcoming AGM Doris Howell will present Transformative
End-of-life Care: Attending to the Whole Person. In addition to her presentation there will be a panel discussion with
members of the palliative care community on pain and symptom management at the bedside.
Then a very exciting new field of palliative care will be presented as NNPCN is hosting an afternoon conference on the
health benefits of music for palliative care and dementia clients and their caregivers at Nipissing University Theatre, North
Bay on Saturday, October 26th from I pm to 5 pm (Registration in foyer 12:30 pm). Early bird $50 (to 4 pm Oct. 25) or $60
at the door. To register go on line www.nnpcn.com or phone 705-497-9239 (1-800-287-9441). See the BON Website
Coming Events page for more info.
I look forward to renewing contact with both old and new friends at the BON Conference this fall. Hope you can be there!
Respectfully submitted by Richard Paul
Near North BON Regional Representative
Email: [email protected]
13
As we gear up for fall here are some items of interest from BON members across the region:
Morse & Son Funeral Home (Niagara Falls)
is ‘under construction’. The Family Centre where their Support Groups are held is being renovated. The changes will be
great and will offer better handicapped access, as well as a special room designed for support groups with new audio visual
equipment. For now Morse & Son will be holding their fall groups in several different locations. Participants will be notified of
location upon registration.
In Niagara Falls support groups include; Loss of Spouse, Adult Loss of Parent, Loss of a Child, Walk & Talk, Next Steps
and Handling the Holidays. In Niagara-on the-Lake (Morgan Funeral Home) support groups include Loss of Spouse, Next
Steps and Handling the Holidays.
Their Holiday Memorial Service will take place on Tuesday evening, December 3rd. Everyone is welcome.
SAVE THE DATE ~ Dr. Alan Wolfelt, author, educator and grief counselor will be coming to Niagara
Falls for two seminars ~ sponsored by Morse & Son Funeral Home. On the evening of April 28th, 2014
he will speak for the general public on the ‘Journey of Grief’. The second seminar will be offered on the
morning of April 29th, 2014, for Caregiving Professionals. Stay tuned for further details.
Morse & Son Funeral Home ~ www.morseandson.com
Morgan Funeral Home ~ www.morganfuneral.com
Also on Facebook and Twitter
Marny Atkinson ~ [email protected], 905-356-3550, 905-468-3255, 1-877-3536-3550
Hospice Niagara, St. Catharines
Visit their website at www.hospiceniagara.ca for info on their bereavement support groups or contact Melissa Penner,
Bereavement Advisor at [email protected] or 905-984-8766 ext 233.
Daval Hospice, Niagara Falls
Visit their website at www.davalhospice.ca where you can learn more about their unique and innovative programs that are
currently underway or on the drawing board. You can also sign up for their e-newsletter. Email Daval Hospice “Niagara Falls
Own Community Hospice” at [email protected].
Weekend Retreats for Bereaved Mothers
Kelly Ryan, BON member in the Simcoe area, is offering another weekend retreat for bereaved mothers. Kelly is the retreat
hostess and facilitator ~ specializing in relaxation and meditation. The upcoming retreat will be held on the October 18th
weekend. For more details and registration information visit www.bereavedmothersretreat.com or email Kelly at
Hosting
Comfort and Care Retreats
For Bereaved Mothers
And in closing I would also like to send best wishes to Thia Harrison, a former BON member
in our area. Thia will be starting full time studies at King’s University College this week in
London. However, her connection with BON will remain strong as she has recently taken
on the position of BON Regional Representative for the London area! Yay Thia!
Respectfully submitted by Janet Devine
Niagara-Haldimand-Norfolk BON Regional Representative
Email:[email protected]
Niagara-Haldimand-Norfolk Region
14
The past few months have been a very busy time in the Ottawa Capital Region. Here are a few events that took place with
the assistance of the Ottawa Capital Region BON members.
May
Dr. Alan Wolfelt headlined at the Palliative Care Education Day conference and offered an evening public lecture
entitled “Understanding your grief - Touchstones for Hope & Healing” which was well attended by the bereavement community.
Kelly Funeral Homes by Arbor Memorial (BON member) was a Gold sponsor of this event.
Friends of Hospice Ottawa (BON member) - “Hike for Hospice” which is an annual event raised $66,000 for the local
hospice.
Kelly Funeral Homes offered a “Walk & Talk” bereavement walk hosted by Linda Robillard every Wednesday morning.
June
The first workshop offered by a new organization, Grief Resources Ottawa Workshop (GROW) which was developed
for individuals in Ottawa who work in the field of grief and bereavement as professionals, students or volunteers. These
workshops will give participants an opportunity to share knowledge, receive peer support, network, and learn through panel
presentations, discussions and workshops. BON members; Rita Myres/Therapy for Life Transitions and Margaret Burnside/
Kelly Funeral Homes were members of the organizing committee. Ian Henderson, President/Bereavement Support &
Education Ottawa, also a BON member, presented the topic of “What is Disenfranchised Grief?”
June was also the month the Butterflies came to town. Kelly Funeral Homes, in
support of Palliative Care in Ottawa, organized a live butterfly release at the newly
opened visitation center. Over one thousand people were expected to attend this
charity BBQ and participate in the release.
The event started with a BBQ lunch on the patio
while live background music was provided by our
harpist. John Laframboise, General Manager,
opened the release ceremony, offering greetings and
introducing Reverend Copeland who spoke
eloquently on the subject of loss and hope. Then
everyone was invited to pick up their live butterfly
pausing to share out loud into a microphone the
name of the person they were remembering.
The Butterfly Release raised over $12,000 for our local hospices.
June was also the month that the girls went out to play at the Friends of Hospice sponsored event “Girls Night Out”.
This annual event raised over $50,000 dollars for the hospice.
Fall is just around the corner and at Kelly Funeral Homes we are preparing for our 8 week bereavement sessions beginning
September 4th and looking forward to our very own labyrinth to be built on our cemetery property.
We are also looking forward to the BON Fall Conference to renew past acquaintances and to meet new ones!
Respectfully submitted by Margaret Burnside & Linda Robillard
Ottawa Capital BON Regional Co-representatives
Email: [email protected] (Margaret)
and [email protected] (Linda)
Linda & Margaret
Ottawa Capital Region
North West Region
At the moment there is no Regional Rep in this area.
Any suggestions for contacts in this area would be greatly appreciated!
15
Peterborough Region
Sudbury-Sault Ste. Marie Region
Update for Peterborough/Kawartha/Haliburton and Northumberland
Happy fall to all! I am excited to announce that I will be starting a Regional Bereavement Networking Group (RBNG).
This is something that I have wanted to do for some time and Fall 2013 is the time to launch this!
The idea behind the new RBNG is going to be an opportunity to meet together with other colleagues who work in the area
of grief and bereavement, share resources, provide education and of course, networking! Our first meeting will include
information sharing and developing a terms of reference for the group (ie. how often to meet, goals, etc.). The group will be
open to professionals and volunteers who work in a variety of settings, and can range from: private counseling practice,
hospice, mental health, funeral homes, spiritual care/pastoral care, and more!
In my own professional work at the Hospice in Kawartha Lakes, we often find ourselves at a loss for appropriate sources to
refer individuals who may require grief support in an area that we do not cover or have the expertise. In some cases we may
not be aware of another service provider offering a service to which to refer to, OR perhaps no one is actually supporting
people in this area. This group would be a great example of meeting others who may be able to fill the gaps and share/
strategize how we can better support grieving individuals in our region. Please come out and join us!
Our first Regional Bereavement Networking Group will be held:
WHEN: Friday, November 15, 2013
WHERE: Hospice Kawartha Lakes, 112 McLaughlin Road, Lindsay, ON KOM 2B0
TIME: 10:00 am - 12:00 noon
WHAT TO BRING: Information/pamphlets/business cards about the services that your business/organization offers, and be
prepared to give a brief overview to the group on what you do and where your interests lie.
RSVP by Wednesday, November 13th to Jill at [email protected] or phone 1-800-451-0327 ext 501 or
local 705-324-7323 ext 501. Agenda will follow to those who rsvp their attendance. Please share this information with
friends and colleagues! I look forward to meeting with you!
Respectfully submitted by Jill Sadler
Peterborough BON Regional Representative
Email: [email protected]
Simcoe-York-Dufferin Region
At the moment there is no Regional Rep in this area.
Any suggestions for contacts in this area would be greatly appreciated!
“Writing About Grief”
To learn more about Creative Writing Workshops
taught by award winning poet and journalist Jacob Scheier
visit www.jacobscheier.org
BON Members You are encouraged to post your upcoming event notices on our
website or have PDF flyers sent out to the BON membership.
Please refer to page 4 for details.
The BON office and BON’s “web guys”
will be only too happy to assist you!
16
Well the summer is now complete and we are heading into my favourite time of year, the fall - temperate weather, beautiful
colours and smells.
On reflection, it was, at times, a beautiful summer here in the north. However, with the summer time and with living in a
vacationers’ wilderness paradise, comes a lot of accidents and thereby many tragic losses that affect our families here in the
north and beyond. We have had our share of drownings, car accidents, plane crashes, ATV accidents, diving accidents,
motorboat collisions, etc. It seems that as soon as we are blessed with the sounds of summer, so too are we affected by the
challenges faced by our environment and our (sometimes) risky behavior in light of the sunshine and carefree behavior.
Loss comes in the form of many things. My wallet was stolen 2 weeks ago, along with all of my identification. My MasterCard
was fraudulently used (“maxed out”), and it is unlikely (given the busyness of our local police department) that the thieves will
be caught. While this is considered a small “c” crime I cannot help but feel incredibly violated. I guess this is the first time that
I have been a victim of theft, and it hits me hard - as I have an unfailing belief in honesty and compassion. Mostly I am
saddened and disappointed.
While it is difficult replacing all of my debit cards, credit cards, discount cards, etc. that took up space in my wallet, most if not
all are replaceable. However, I am more upset by the loss of one precious item that I will never be able to replace.
Those of you who have experienced the death of someone close to you may understand this. My daughter died in 2006 -
October of this year will be the 7th anniversary of her death from cancer. Her health card became the heartbeat of her
existence for the 15 months we were in and out of Sick Kids Hospital for treatment. It was her first-class “admittance” card
to health care. I am so grateful for our healthcare system in Ontario that provided my daughter with beyond excellent care,
compassion and treatment. There was not a day that went by that I did not appreciate what we have here in Ontario in terms
of our medical system, our healthcare professionals and our free access to one of the best healthcare systems in the world.
I had kept her old red and white health card (OHIP card) secure in my wallet since her death - close to me at all times -
knowing that this was another link to her. I know it is small - and probably relatively insignificant to most people - but this silly
red and white card was another piece of her that I had no control over losing. Silly, I know, but loss is loss - and these last
small connections to my daughter are the only links that I have left. Every piece, as you are well aware, is precious as we
continue through time on our journey of healing through loss.
The fall is ramping up with programs in the north - and along with those programs is the opportunity for those
who are grieving to reconnect, provide support to one another, and heal through the celebration of those who
once blessed us with their presence. There are some great bereavement programs and organizations here in
the north and I invite all of you to become BON members so that we can mutually share our talents,
resources and networking connections.
Sudbury
Memorial Services: Memorial Services, open to anyone, are provided by Warmhearts Palliative Caregivers on a
quarterly basis. Please contact Madeleine Sauve at 705-677-0077 ext 244.
Butterfly Release
Maison Vale Hospice and Warmhearts Palliative Caregivers hosted the
second annual live Butterfly Release at Fielding Memorial Park in Lively on July
21st. This exciting initiative was held in order to raise funds to directly support
operational costs of both organizations. The event was held as a unique
opportunity to honour loved ones who have passed away. These butterflies are
the acknowledgment of a life lived and a multicultural symbol of change,
transformation and the beauty of nature. Their release signifies freedom and
encourages those left behind to take another step in the healing process.
Saulte Ste. Marie, Elliott Lake and surrounding areas
For any other bereavement related supports in the north, please do not hesitate
to contact me at 705-560-2481 or at the email address below and I would be
pleased to point you in the right direction.
Respectfully submitted by Betty Ann McPherson
Sudbury-Sault Ste. Marie BON Regional Representative
Email: [email protected]
Sudbury-Sault Ste. Marie Region
17
BON reads…..
Adult Sibling Loss: Stories, Reflections and Ripples (non fiction)
By Brenda J. Marshall, PhD, CT, Baywood Publishing Company, Inc., c2013, 146 p.
Reviewed by: Fran King, B.A., B.Ed., C.B.E., C.G.T., BON Regional Representative, Durham
Brenda Marshall is a BON member who lives in Uxbridge, Ontario. I first met Brenda last
fall at the BON Geneva Park Conference as I attended her workshop about Adult Sibling
Loss and at that time I was very impressed with her work. When I heard about her new
book, I ordered it immediately from Amazon and after reading it, I recommend it highly!
Brenda Marshall’s book Adult Sibling Loss is certainly a work of heart! She embarks on a
sensitive narrative inquiry into the experience of adult sibling loss by telling the loss stories
of three siblings. In her detailed portrayal of their loss experiences she weaves her own
story about her younger brother, Brent, who died suddenly from a strep infection, on
September 16, 2006. She discovers that oftentimes adult sibling loss is minimized by others
and that the siblings become the forgotten grievers, a disenfranchised group. She outlines
the similarities in their accounts and chronicles the course of their grief journeys over time
in an honest, soul baring manner. She also emphasizes that each grief journey is a unique
experience. These three grieving siblings have allowed Brenda to share personal pictures
that make their stories even more vivid to the reader. Her book, in addition, reports on
the research that has been collected on adult sibling loss. Bereavement professionals can
learn much from Brenda’s book and bereaved adult siblings will be able to relate to and
learn from the loss stories.
On a personal note, my oldest sister Diane died August 12, 1986, at the age of 43 from the ravages of multiple sclerosis.
Coincidentally, today, as I am writing this review, is the anniversary of her death. She would have been 70 years of age this
year and I continue to mourn her loss. Upon examination, I realize that her death led me to my current career in the Grief
and Loss field as I continue to make meaning of her loss. When I began to read Brenda Marshall’s book I felt like I was
listening to a good friend who really understood my own loss and was able to touch my heart in so many places. She so
ably described many of my own buried feelings of unacknowledged loss and I found that I was able to personally relate to
what her subjects were saying. Her narrative inquiry allowed me to re-examine and better understand my own continuing
grief journey in a more insightful way.
The End of Your Life Book Club (non fiction)
By Will Schwabe, Published by Knoph Canada, c2012, 336 p.
Reviewed by: Fran King, B.A., B.Ed., C.B.E., C.G.T., BON Regional Representative, Durham
I just finished reading The End of Your Life Book Club and would highly recommend it to
other avid readers as well as palliative care and bereavement professionals. It is the story of a
mother and son who share a love of reading who begin an informal book club during her two
year treatment for metastatic pancreatic cancer. While her endless chemo treatments
proceed, and her disease progresses, the two make their way through books of all kinds.
Their extensive book list can be found in the appendix at the end of the book. The mother-
son book club not only serves to pass time, but it deepens their relationship and provides an
outlet for discussing uncomfortable end-of-life issues. They talk about many, many books but I
found their discussion of such books as Susan Halpern’s The Etiquette of Illness, Mary
Tileston’s Daily Strength for Daily Needs, Bernie Siegel’s Love, Medicine and Miracles,
Randy Pausch’s The Last Lecture and Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking, to be
particularly revealing. Their book club gives a wonderful gift to both Will and his mother.
They are able to celebrate the life that Mary Anne lived while preparing for her eventual death.
Both are dealing with anticipatory grief and their book club gives them the venue to discuss
these issues.
What are you currently reading???
We welcome you to share with fellow BON members what you consider “must reads” on the topics of life and loss - both in non-fiction and fiction material.
18
BON reads….. Lisa Genova - a fascinating author as she takes her ‘real life’ career experiences and knowledge and develops
a story line based on the neuro-science of the brain. Her 3 books explore the life and loss experiences of
Alzheimer’s Disease, Autism, and Acquired Brain Injury.
Still Alice (fiction)
By Lisa Genova, Published by Pocket Books, c2009, 293 p.
Reviewed by: Bev Wilson, BON Past Chair, BON Regional Representative, Halton-Hamilton
Lisa writes beautifully about the devastating diagnosis with the early onset of Alzheimer’s Disease.
Relationships, communication, loss, are all interwoven in a tale of sadness but strength. It is an
excellent novel, the reader learns about the disease from a first person perspective, and journeys
with the main character through her ongoing need for support and understanding in her marriage,
her family, with friends, and colleagues. It is riveting as the reader walks along with the main
character, needing to know ‘what happens next’.
A must read...
Love Anthony (fiction)
By Lisa Genova, Published by Gallery Books, c2012, 309 p.
Reviewed by: Bev Wilson, BON Past Chair, BON Regional Representative, Halton-Hamilton
This is a wonderful book about grief at many levels. Autism is highlighted, and the interwoven
path of two characters walking similar paths of soul searching. The author manages to touch on
all areas of dramatic changes in life: loss of relationships, the need for other people’s understanding,
society reactions, communication, self awareness, and self journey. The reader is left with an
intimate understanding of autism and the challenges a family endures with a loving relationship
with their precious son. As the mother of the child struggles with her meaning in life, serendipity
emerges with a young mother struggling with her relationship with her husband, and also searching
for meaning in her life. The author’s description of the beauty and challenges in the New England
Sates mirror the journey of these 2 individuals. Wonderfully written and captivating.
Left Neglected (fiction)
By Lisa Genova, Published by Gallery Books, c2011, 327 p.
Reviewed by: Bev Wilson, BON Past Chair, BON Regional Representative, Halton-Hamilton
An interesting and at times humorous book, reflecting the loss related to traumatic brain injury,
loss of self, health, relationships, roles of mother, wife, and career. All aspects are presented.
Truly an educational novel as the reader learns about the traumatic results of a unique brain injury,
which is the primary subject line of the book. A fascinating read, the author again captures the
experience of the character struggling with the will to live, the need for support and understanding,
and how key individuals in life get her through the most stressing challenges. The strength and will
power, and power of positive thinking are the tools that assist the main character to endure all
challenges. The reader is left in awe of the success accomplished, and absorbs the message of
strength in life.
Me Before You (fiction)
By Jojo Moyes, Published by Viking Penguin, c2012, 369 p.
Reviewed by: Janet Devine, BON Chair, BON Regional Representative, Niagara-Haldimand-Norfolk
Although I am loath to acknowledge that the summer is winding down I will admit that one of the
things I look forward to in September is the resumption of the monthly Book Club that I belong to.
Our Niagara Falls library system runs 7 monthly book clubs and their choice of reading material is
always a wonderful gateway to interesting and thought provoking discussions on a wide ranging
variety of related topics.
Me Before You is September’s book of the month. I’m not going to write a ‘spoiler’ - just know
that this book will make you stop and think and will compel you to examine your own beliefs about
the choices you might make if your life changed in an instant.
I can’t wait for this month’s book club discussion!
19
BON reads….. Widows Wear Stilettos, A Practical and Emotional Guide for the Young Widow (non fiction)
By Carole Brody Fleet, Published by New Horizons Press, c2009, 224 p.
Reviewed by: Marny Williams-Balodis, BON Conference Chair, BON Regional Representative, Kitchener-Waterloo
Written from her own experience after her husband’s two year battle with Lou Gehrig’s disease
and subsequent death, Brody Fleet shares both her personal insights and professional wisdom into
the grief journey of a young widow.
The first portion of the book is geared towards helping the widow through the first year or two
after the death. Brody Fleet discusses some of the practicalities that need to be addressed after
the death, and also focuses on how to recreate yourself. The second portion of the book talks
more about returning to the dating scene...a topic that many widows are curious about. The
thought of dating and intimacy often terrifies young widows and brings up more fears and
anxieties. I feel the author addresses dating from all angles; the good, the bad and the ugly! Brody
Fleet shows us how to navigate dating in a safe and “true to you” manner and shares with us some
of her bad, yet humorous experiences.
At the end of each chapter is an opportunity to journal and reflect on the questions Brody Fleet poses. Many of the
questions help the reader to make some decisions regarding their journey. The author also encourages the reader to come
back at a later date to answer the questions again and then to reflect on how your answers have changed over time. We
often don’t see our own progress in the grief journey and get stuck on the here and now. Having a tangible record to
compare with can sometimes be the morale booster that we need.
The journey of young widowhood is one that I can relate to; my husband died 11 years ago. I don’t believe there is one
book on widowhood that will offer all the answers to the many questions widows face, but this book is a great start.
Reading about death and grief is hard, so I appreciated the author’s humour that she has incorporated throughout. I would
certainly recommend this book to anyone who finds themselves in the foreign territory of being a young widow.
The 23rd BON Annual Fall Conference
An educational conference within a retreat setting and atmosphere!
Early Bird registration extended until September 30th!
4 Plenary Sessions ~ Workshops
Service of Healing, Hope & Remembrance
Mandala Book Shop ~ Labyrinth Room ~ Nature Walk
Social Night with Silent Auction, Entertainment, Refreshments
50/50 Draw & BONfire
Fabulous Food ~ Lakeside Setting ~ Networking Opportunities
And so much more…….
www.bereavementontarionetwork.ca for full conference brochure and registration
Don’t miss out on this wonderful opportunity!
The Silent Auction is one of the few opportunities BON has to raise funds.
We can’t do this without you! Your contribution will make a difference!
Items in the past have included artwork & small collectibles, garden and
home décor items, homemade gift baskets, CDs & books, wine, etc.
(Please Note - no used items - this is not a garage sale)
Connect with Barb Saunders for more info at [email protected]
20
Canadian Virtual Hospice/Portails Canadien en Soins Palliatifs
In Memoriam: Dr. Larry Librach
In August, Canada lost a national leader in palliative and end-of-life care. Dr. Larry Librach died at age
67 of pancreatic cancer. As the palliative care community mourns this tremendous loss, we also
celebrate a caring colleague and the legacy Larry has left all Canadians.
Larry was a builder, educator, mentor and, first and foremost, a very caring and dedicated physician.
His involvement in palliative care began in 1986 in Toronto where he helped develop a palliative care
home care service and served as Director of the Temmy Latner Centre at Mount Sinai Hospital. Larry
was a board member and former president of the Canadian Hospice and Palliative Care Association.
(CHPCA) and the Canadian Society of Palliative Care Physicians. As Physician Leader of the national
Educating Future Physicians in Palliative and End of Life Care initiative he was instrumental in bringing
palliative education to Canada’s 17 medical schools.
Larry was one of the palliative care leaders who came together with Dr. Harvey Max Chochinov 13 years ago to envision what
a “virtual hospice” could look like and how it would serve Canadians from diagnosis through bereavement. He was a member
of Canadian Virtual Hospice’s National Advisory Board for eight years and contributed to the site.
One of Larry’s final contributions to palliative care was a candid interview he did for the Canadian Partnership Against Cancer
on his own end-of-life experiences, in which he shared he was “scared as all heck of dying”.
This spring Larry was honoured with two awards: the Eduardo Bruera Award for Palliative Medicine by the Canadian Society
of Palliative Care Physicians, and the Balfour Mount Champion Award by the CHPCA.
Colleagues shared memories and tributes on the Canadian Virtual Hospice’s Take a Bow. The Honourable Sharon Carstairs,
former Minister with Special Responsibility for Palliative Care and a close friend, shared this:
“His compassion, empathy and outright love of his patients and their
families has not only made him a great practitioner of care, it has made
him an exemplary teacher. Those doctors and nurses and other health
care professionals who learned from him have learned from the master
of his craft.”
Our thoughts are with Larry’s family and his many colleagues and friends.
The Canadian Virtual Hospice is ranked by the Canadian Association of Health Libraries as one
of the best health websites in Canada. The website is easy to navigate and the many different
features and services are worth taking the time to explore. Visit www.virtualhospice.ca.
BON is pleased to have Canadian Virtual Hospice as a regular contributor to the BONewsletter.
Sadly summer is over, but for me - happily school has started!!! I am one of those people that enjoy the routine, no matter
how chaotic. I watched all the new parents who were sending their young kids off to school for the first time. Many eyes
were hidden behind sunglasses, but you can always tell, who is shedding silent tears! The Kindergarten teachers sent home
a tea bag with a note saying that our children are in good hands and that we as Mom’s need to take some time for ourselves
- to enjoy the tea! The message of self care is everywhere in society...I hope you are enjoying your cup of tea!
September always brings the excitement of our upcoming conference. We are almost 4 weeks
away. So I am asking all of you…
1. Have you registered?
2. Have you thought about submitting a piece of art for our Arts Room?
3. Have you picked your item to bring to the Silent Auction?
4. What about sponsorship? We would love to have your organization sponsor one of our workshop or plenary speakers.
Don’t hesitate to connect with me if you have any questions.
I am looking forward to seeing all of you on the banks of Lake Couchiching.
Marny Williams-Balodis, 2013 BON Conference Chair Email: [email protected]
Message from the 2013 Conference Chair
21
When Does a Broken Heart Become a Mental Disorder? The following statement was developed by a workgroup of concerned professionals at the meeting of the
International Work Group On Death, Dying and Bereavement
in Victoria, British Columbia on April 28 - May 3, 2013.
It was written in response to the release of the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and
Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5)
When does a broken heart become a mental disorder? Rarely, if ever. But don’t tell that to the American Psychiatric
Association, which has just released its fifth version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
The DSM is a catalog of mental disorders, hundreds of them, each trailing a listing of symptoms. The manual informs
selection of a diagnosis, which is required by U.S. insurance companies for reimbursement for mental health care.
There’s a major change in the newest version, DSM-5, with serious implications for the millions of people who are coping
with the death of a child, spouse, parent, friend, or other loved one.
But first, a quick glimpse of the history of this publication, often referred to as the bible of psychiatry. The very first edition,
published in 1952, didn’t even refer to grief, considering it an accepted and normal reaction to the death of a loved one.
The third edition added an exclusion statement under Major Depressive Disorder, referred to as the “bereavement
exclusion”. Under this exclusion, a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder could not be made for a full year after a death.
They recognized that normal and common reactions to the death of a loved one could look like the symptoms of depressive
disorder, for example, sadness, disturbed sleep, lack of concentration, changes in eating, and loss of interest in things that
were once pleasurable.
In 1994 the 4th version of the DSM reduced the bereavement exclusion to two months after a death, and this new version
removes the bereavement exclusion completely, meaning in effect that anyone can receive a diagnosis of Major Depressive
Disorder two weeks after the death of a child, parent, spouse, friend, or anyone.
Why does this matter? For at least three reasons:
First, normal reactions to the death of a loved one will be easily misclassified as the mental disorder depression. Grief is not
the same experience as major depressive disorder. It is not an illness to be treated or cured. It is a healthy response to a
painful reality that one’s world is forever altered, and will never be the same. Absorbing this loss, and adapting to all the
changes it unleashes, has its own unique course for every person, and will not be stilled or stopped by quick fixes or simple
solutions. Death is a life-altering event, but grief is not a pathological condition.
Second, anti-depressants are commonly and frequently prescribed. There is a strong likelihood that newly bereaved people
will qualify for a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder just two weeks after a death even though their reactions are
normal. Anti-depressants have not been shown to be helpful with grief-related depressive symptoms, and there is
accumulating evidence of long-term negative effects of being on anti-depressants. We need to ask why psychiatry is
pathologizing grief and therefore making inappropriate pharmacological treatment easier. And we should not overlook the
self-interest of pharmaceutical companies who see a new and substantial market for anti-depressants, currently a multibillion
dollar industry.
Third, about 80% of prescriptions for anti-depressants are written by primary care physicians, not psychiatrists. We have
the expectation that physicians, as well as psychologists, social workers, and clergy, to whom many of us turn for help after
losses of all kinds, have professional training, solid research backing, and supervised experience to guide them. Some do, but
in fact, a considerable majority of practitioners with these degrees have no professional training at all in responding to the
bereaved.
The caution here? Be wary of physicians or other medical professionals who rush to prescribe anti-depressants to address
your grief. Here’s a better prescription. Mourn the death of your loved one in your own way. There is no prescribed
formula. You may cry; you may not. Your reactions will be shaped by many things; the relationship you had with the
deceased, your personality style, and the support or lack of support you receive from others. Push aside those who tell you
to move on, that every cloud has a silver lining. What one person finds comforting might not work for another. Find
friends and family who understand, and with whom you can share your experience. If they won’t listen or help, or if their
help is not enough, search for support groups through your local hospitals, hospice or community organizations. Don’t be
afraid to seek professional help, but if you do, ask about the person’s training, qualifications, and experience with grief, loss,
and bereavement.
We grieve as deeply as we love. We can get off track with love, and we can respond to our grief in ways that aren’t healthy,
or don’t serve us well. But let’s not make love, or grief, a mental disorder.
(Editor’s Note - this article is used with permission and may be shared and distributed)
