The Count of D'Bonaire - Canto I

7/28/2019 The Count of D'Bonaire - Canto I

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T HE C OUNT OF DB ONAIRE

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THE STORY OF


OR

T HE C OUNT DB ONAIRE

(IN OTTAVA RIMA )

W ITH THE MEETING OF THE YOUNGER COUNT FELIX ALEXANDER DB ONAIRE

AND DON JUAN

BY F ERRICK G RAY


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C ANTO I

.1. Now in a land not common to us all,

A place, the strangest name it seems to beIts very mentions sure to start a brawl

Since its a name despised (tween you and me).Yet in this foreign land, plantations tall,

There lived a rather prosprous family,Some thought their acquisitions most unfair,The wealthy famly of Count DBonaire.

.2.This Count, he loved to count with pure delight

His money and his wealth, it seemed to growWith fervor near unbounded in his sight

To have it multiply (and not too slow).It seemed to him it was his first-born rite

To build a massive fortune (dont you know).And evrything he did, he did with flair This most flamboyant Count of DBonaire.

.3.They called him Count, but Count was not his name

Though evrybody thought it was at first.Thats all they heard and so you couldnt blame

Them for all thinking that he had be cursed,Cause with this name his actions where the same

And in his selfish pastime was immersed.The Midas touch and one would never dareTo cheat the greedy Count of DBonaire.

.4. No matter where he was, this wealthy Count,

Theyd always greet him ever so polite.In dealing they would ask a just amount

(To him it was, for them it wasnt quiteWhat they would like, but take into account

The man he was, it wasnt worth the fight.)So in the end with all considered fair,They knew how he became a millionaire.

.5.Hed haggle and hed barter for a price

To suit himself, his price considered rightAnd though his mean expression wasnt nice

Hed always take the bargain and despiteTheir noble efforts, tempting to entice

An extra coin or two met with a fight.Then off he went again without a care This penny-pinching Count of DBonaire.

.6. Now evryone agreed the day would come

When DBonaire (the Count) would finly meetHis match and this was entertained by some;

His massive fortune would one day deplete.But DBonaire knew evry rule of thumb

And honesty gave way to his deceit.With loss of fortune never entertained,His wealth sided with wealth and thus remained.

.7.The house of DBonaire, Villa Belaire

As stately mansion as theres ever been,Constructed to withstand all wear and tear

Amid plantations tall, so lush and green.To see this house, theres nothing to compare

It with or any other thing youve seen.The Count considered big and bigger bestAnd lived his motto well: Be damned the rest .

.8.But very few were welcomed on the grounds;

A sanctuary and a haven tooAnd often he would take to make the rounds

To see if there was anything to do.A shot-gun ready for the foreign sounds

Of strangers (or of anyone he knew).These trespassers; to prosecute or not At any rate, survivors would be shot!

.9.But often in the evning he would rise

To walk along the balcony and stare,Or was it gaze? Though I can still advise

You were not welcomed with the Count up there.And if perchance you did not realize;

The stare (or gaze) would turn an icy glare.For as a king would sit upon his throne The Count also preferred to be alone.

.10.Oft in his solitude hed contemplate

The future of the fortune that he hadAnd sometimes it appeared to be too late

For him to start a famly and to addAnd heir to take control of his estate;

This feeling deep inside would make him sad.But never fear, the Count would no more tarryTo seek a women with intent to marry.

.11. Now there were many girls in DBonaire

(Though girls is not an apt word to describe;Correctly women and theyre evrywhere)

But was there one for him (without a bribe)?Was there a bride for him, a woman fair

Who satisfies the traits he would prescribe?One thinks that such a mate does not exist For sure there is! Lets play the optimist!

.12.The Count himself was sure that there would be

A maiden to his liking somewhere here,But would there be the one able to see

Through his daunting disguise and hold him dear?His cruel demeanor we must all agree

Would stop a maiden venturing too near.He will not be discouraged or despair This egomaniac of DBonaire.


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.13.But people change, you say, Its not too late.

The Count, a little older, can affordTo make an effort to be more sedate

And act more like a man than like a lord.To gain a wife, he now must dedicate

His life to gentleness and not the sword.But is this man prepared to make a changeTo all those things which made him seem so strange?

.14.Amazing as it was, he did resolve

To curb his wicked ways and to impressA maiden fair. But what would this involve

If his thoughts were to love and to caress?Perhaps his marriage would help to dissolve

His feelings, yet that comes with great duress.For many years, hes been so much aloneAnd now hell have to share what was his own.

.15.With all these things to do, he needs a drink

To settle all his thoughts of what will be,So up onto the balcony to think

And make a plan; perhaps one, two or three.But with each glass, the further he would slink

Into a melancholic stupor weHave seen before when many men would dareTo contemplate their fate in this affair.

.16.Yet what has he to lose? he thus supposed.

And thinking loud, it soon became quite clear That he was selfish and had oft opposed

The sharing of the life he held so dear.So what would life be like if he proposed?

And then there came the awful dreaded fear What if the one he sought to love and knowGave him the answer to his question NO!

.17.He hadnt ever thought of this before,

No-one had ever dared to tell him no.Hed always had his way; and thats for sure

But if this was to happen What a blowTo him and could he possibly endure

The shock deflation of his huge ego?So there he sat with ego feign to nurse,But with each drink it made the matter worse.

.18.Recovery was not a pleasant thing.

The sight of sun was painful to the eyes,His head was thumping and his ears would ring

Wheneer he moved his head (or when he tries).But as we know, all alcohol will bring

A certain feeling that we all despise.Our stomachs often seek revenge thats due He rose and to the water closet flew!

.19.In truth, he didnt make it all the way

And running didnt help his final goal;With puffed out cheeks, a little spurt and spray

And hopes to thrust his head into the bowl.The bowl he didnt reach (I have to say)

And heaving, couldnt stop to save his soul.With stomach still convulsing in a fit,He couldnt yet decide to stand or sit.

.20.Oh what a day! He prayed for heavens sake

That he might sleep the rest of this cursed day,But not a chance, his head began to ache

And to the Virgin Mary he did prayFor his redemption and a pact to make

With all the saints to never go astray.And from that day he never had a drink Sobrietys more favored than we think.

.21.The next day when he rose, a better sight

No blood-shot eyes to give his binge away.His memories of such a better night,

With dreams to recollect (or so they say).But now to business, how to solve his plight;

To find one who will honor, love, obey.So with a keen resolve to find a wife,He now must look more closely at his life.

.22.I guess his life was not at all that bad,

All creature comforts that were meant to beA sign to all, the riches that he had

Were more than merely for prosperity.Some thought him odd, perhaps a little mad.

(Eccentric some have said tween you and me)He had it all he thought, but thats not true Rekindle thoughts of family renew.

.23.For with a famly he would have an heir

To what he did accumulate for years,And so he thought a loving wife would bear

A son or two, and now it so appearsThat hes resigned, this Count of DBonaire

To find a wife and now his conscience clears.Through all the years hes lived here growing old,His conscience nagged and now he has been sold.

.24.For some ideas its hard to ascertain

Whether its right or wrong; a truth or lieAnd many thoughts we do not entertain,

As quickly as they come, we kiss good-bye.But other thoughts will tempt to drive the sane

Into insanity with all awry.Yet others will remain with us for goodReminding us of things we could and should.


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.25. Now I have said before in DBonarie,

There lived a lot of women not yet wed;Some are so gorgeous (some are not so fair

And with this, better off that less is said).The Count, he had in mind a lovely pair

(A pair of what you ask), a pair well bred.And from this pair he had a mind to choose It didnt matter which, he could not lose.

.26.But just because he has decided who

Might be his perfect match and be his spouse,This girl may not choose him. So what to do?

Ah ha, he thought, Ill offer her my houseAnd land and jewels and theres my money too!

A sweet idea with very little nouse.To lavish her with gifts would best describeA clear intention Win her with a bribe!

.27.Yes at a prior time he did decide

That bribing one was not the way to go,But then again, it wouldnt hurt his pride

To be called; well a wretched so-and-so.But mores the problem How is he to hide

His crafty plan so that she does not know?Though wicked in intent, its not the man,But he will try to instigate his plan.

.28.Some thought the Count was devious to sway

A woman who was prim and proper bred.Though not a wicked man, hed have his way

Regardless what the socialites have said.To gain a wife, hed woo her or hed pay

And guarantee his victory instead. Now why should he be subject to their whim? Be damned the rest , theyll be subject to him!

.29. Now of this lovely pair we said before,

The one he chose with striking features fair Was none and other than the sweet Lenore

Known all throughout for her outstanding pair Of earrings that the Count did so adore,

And when she walked, twas at the pair hed stare.Theyd wiggle and theyd jiggle, up and down

No better pair had ever graced the town!

.30.But sweet Lenore was not an easy catch

And many men had tried to win her eye,(I say an eye, another was to match)

But she would simply walk away and sigh.You see her father hurried to dispatch

His eldest daughter to a single guy.Lenore was very steadfast and refusedTo marry. (twas the hint of being used.)

.31.Lenore had often seen the Count around,

But didnt really know him all that well.Although shed heard the stories that abound,

She thought it best to listen, not to tell.For there has been some cases that she found

That made the Count appear he was from hell.Her curiosity had piqued a bitAnd wished to find out more. (I will admit.)

.32.It wasnt long before the rumor heard,

(But as we know, a rumor it was not)The Count was looking (well that is the word)

For someone well prepared to share his lot.To some around it seemed a bit absurd

That he would be prepared to do this. What?The Count has changed his ways? He wants an heir?How curious, this Count of DBonaire.

.33.As chance would have it (tends to be the way),

Count DBonaire did meet the fair LenoreAnd love must have been in the air that day

(Well something was which wasnt there before),Their eyes did meet and yes, it seemed they may

Stop and chat. They did! Then they talked some more.And evryone around them stood and gazed.(Im very sure that you could say amazed!)

.34.Well! Evryone could scarce believe their eyes

The Count and fair Lenore together andWhat would come next begot some gasps and sighs

As she curtsied and offered up her hand.It didnt take him long to realize

That it was time for him to take his stand.He kissed her hand and that kiss set him freeAnd then he whispered, Will you marry me?

.35.A clever girl, not wet behind the ears,

At twenty-five (and cunning by the way),Her age was only half the Counts in years,

But love makes no distinction some may say.Yet was this love? Not all is as appears

What was it that was in her mind that day?(The answer to that question, I confessI know already) Oh! - She answered yes!

.36. Now with her answer Had he heard it right?

Did she say yes? Perhaps it was a no But then it dawned upon him with delight

That what she said was something all should know.He swept her off her feet, my what a sight!

(And what we saw is normly not for show)We all concurred, it was a mighty swing;Lenore for her mind, thought another thing.


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.37.With all the town bein suitably surprised,

When fair Lenore gave to the Count a yes,They thought the situation would arise

As whether Lenores father would impressUpon the Count for money (some surmise)

To pay the pretty penny for her dress.Although her father was a wealthy man,To part with money wasnt in his plan.

.38.Her father, though he was a loving soul

Was overjoyed that she should now be wed.For years this was his unrelenting goal

To match her with a wealthy man insteadOf to a lowly citizen or troll.

Who weds for money. That is what he said.Has father led this sweet Lenore astray?A daughter just like father, one might say.

.39. Now evrything that glitters is not gold

And if its too good to be true its not.The wisest sayings that have eer been told

When chasing those possessions for our lot.Lenore, she is no diffrent; rather cold

And calculating, plans a cunning plot To fleece the Count of his entire wealthAnd stealthily to change his state of health.

.40.The Count, of this cruel plan was unaware

(and just as well for certainly hed run)But of the wedding dress, he didnt care

And so he had all preparations done.The Count agreed the cost of this affair

Would all be paid before it had begun.Her father thought the Count was very kind The money wasnt his; he didnt mind.

.41.With preparations more or less complete,

The Count was looking forward to the dayWhen sweet Lenore would finly come to meet

His household of his home above the bay.His servants running here and there; how sweet

To see them bow and curtsy on their way.The servants hoped this marriage would embraceA better atmosphere within the place.

.42. Now servants do what servants always will

And used to say all sorts of things behindHis back and sometimes gave them quite a thrill

To gossip on about oh never mind.They did not like the Count but they would fill

The house with laughter of a sordid kind.The poor old Count was in for a surpriseAnd one he would not want to realize.

.43.By marriage to the Count it would appear

Lenore would stand to come into a lotOf money, land and evrything held dear

By DBonaire, the Count and that is notThe only thing shell take when time is near

As things unfold to amplify the plot.Whod think Lenore, so beautiful and fair Would aim to kill the Count of DBonaire.

.44.The problem was how would she do the deed,

When people would be round her evrywhereShe went. Of course there was a certain need

To not alert the Count of DBonaire.Lenore is fair? Her soul is cursed by greed,

But then she had a very handsome pair Of dueling pistols hidden in her trunk A ball between his eyes when he is drunk!

.45.But unbeknown to her, he drank no more

(Of spirits that is, water was quite fine,Youll recollect the mess upon the floor

A combination of the booze and wine.)The chances are Lenore will fail to score

A bit when she finds she cannot combineThe Count with alcohol, those dreaded drinks His death is not as easy as she thinks.

.46. Now onto pleasant things, we now defer

The contemplation of a bitter endOf marriage celebrations Id prefer

And for the final nuptials to attend.I think that you and I can both concur

Lenores intentions are but to pretend.So she will grin and bear it for a whileAnd hide her motive sweetly with a smile.

.47.The day arrived with evrything arranged

According to the Counts evry requestAnd yes it didnt seem that things had changed

Too much. Lenore was at her very bestTo not give way, a hint or act estranged

And worked to put her patience to the test.For if she could, this marriage carry through,Shed topple the old man before he knew.

.48.The wedding was so beautiful, its true

As each one took their vows with perfect words.Of course to one and other said I do

And thus a happy union was conferred.Well that was how it was to those of who

Had come to check the rumor they had heard.At last Lenore was now the Counts wed wifeAnd unbeknown, his penalty was life.


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.49.Well evrything went off without a hitch

With all and sundry taking up the chanceTo party on or sing with higher pitch

The songs that people sing or try to danceWhen alcohol behaves the tardy bitch

We think with booze, abilities enhance.Yet poor Lenore, she tried so hard to makeThe Count enjoy, but he would not partake.

.50.You see the Count remembered his last binge

With alcohol, twas not a pretty sightAnd with his face a paler sort of tinge;

He farted, crapped and hurled all through the night. Not only that he found more than a singe

From his attempts to snuff a candles light.A noble beard that once had grown in place,

No longer on his younger looking face.

.51.It seems Lenores first plan has gone astray,

But tell me this Why would you do the deed?To kill your husband on his wedding day

Would seem suspicious wouldnt it? To pleadAll innocence when putting him away.

Perhaps thats not her plan. We must concedeThat she is smarter than at first we thought;Oh yes to do it now, she would be caught.

.52.Perhaps it is, that we have been unfair

Assuming that Lenore would straight awayDo in the wealthy Count of DBonaire

Right there and then and on his wedding day.You do recall the Count, he wants an heir,

But she may not want children, then she may.Yet then again, it could suspicions quell Hmmm , kill the husband, ditch the child as well.

.53.You ask me why this sweet Lenore was bent

(Though sweet is probly not the word to use),But bent she was on what was heaven sent,

A famly fortune that she cant refuse.To be a loving wife was never meant

(And if it were, was only to amuse)For once the Count was gone and child had grown,Shed build a massive empire of her own.

.54.Why was it that Lenore was so transfixed

With all the trappings that would come with wealth?It wasnt merely fun or just for kicks

That she might be the downfall of his health.A plan more sinister; yet older wicks

May still produce a child. To move with stealthAnd with her cunning nature to dispatchThe Count of DBonaire, a wealthy catch!

.55. Now plans of his disposal took a back

Seat for a while, there wasnt any rushTwas more intelligent to wait than lack

The timing of the great surprise. O hushYou say, such wicked plans are hard to track

And being caught would make the Countess blush.For Countess was the title that she soughtWhen marrying the Count. Twas not for nought!

.56.So she gave way to sunny days of rest

And relished oft the lavish way of lifeAnd evryone who knew her did their best

To treat her well (she was the Counts new wife).But evry now and then, as if to test

Shed do a little to create some strife.To play of little games, the Countess knows Twas always good to keep them on their toes.

.57.At times there was some romance in the air

And she with Count in arm would thence departInto the bedroom (and what happened there

Is really not our business, if were smart,But what did carry on sent to despair

Those servants which did have a weaker heart).With practice comes perfection, day and nightAnd after weeks of this, the Count was right!

.58.Though weary after this activity,

The Count was more excited than beforeAnd though some questioned his virility,

The Count would soon succeed with more and more(Lets keep it civil, say variety

And should we pity? Oh, that poor Lenore.)But after months, some meek and some were wild,It was quite clear that sweet Lenores with child.

.59.The Count was overjoyed! Could not believe

That he would soon be cradling his heir,A son or daughter, Oh lets not deceive

Ourselves with thoughts and feeling quite contraire.Lenore would like a daughter to receive,

But for the Count, a strong male DBonaire!For men will wed and carry on the nameAnd chances are a son will do the same.

.60.When all of DBonaire received the news,

The people there, could scarce believe their ears.Theres even those who simply would refuse

To say its true, for after many yearsOf tyrant rule this news would now confuse

Them all and since the day of birth now nears,They couldnt really flat deny the factOr propagate that all was just an act!


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.61.From one thing comes another (so it goes)

And evrything was very well prepared,But when a mother says she knows She knows!

(And count your blessings for how well youve fared).Her screams in childbirth, so intense they rose

To levels that would shock hearing impairedPeople. Let me just say her screams were loud,Attracting quite a busy-body crowd.

.62.The Count was there, his duty there to be

To see this precious moment, but he stares For what he thought he didnt want to see

Was there in all its glory. No-one cares?A head? Too late! He faints by mans decree

To never interfere in these affairs.But after all the pleasantries were done,They woke him up and handed him his son.

.63.He nursed the babe and tears came to his eyes,

So too Lenore, but now she needed rest.To see the Count, you could no more despise

This man who with a smile, kissed and caressedHis new born son, whos now the cherished prize,

For now its clear this father had been blessed.His name to be and baptized with a prayer Is Felix Alexander DBonaire!

.64.As it would be, of sons hed have no more,

In fact, no daughter either (by-the by),The act of birth was too much for Lenore

And not long after giving birth she died.Thus ends her wicked plan with what she bore,

(We may be sympathetic, hence a sigh),And never did the Count find out her plan.(And just as well, the thought would kill the man.)

.65.The Count was devastated and to mourn

The loss of his young wife, for it was right He chose to spread her ashes on the lawn,

A little ceremony in the night.A place where roses grow and greet the dawn

And Felix could admire the lovely sight. Now for some time, the Count was not preparedTo entertain a soul and no-one cared.

.66.Its strange that when a tragic thing occurs

That people act in very diffrent ways.For some the knowledge of it ner deters

Them from their work and often will amazeAnother of a diffrent view. Oh sirs!

(And maams) think of the questions that you raise For condescending views are quite unfair,Especially if youre a DBonaire.

.67.The Count had heard of all the stories too,

The gossip circulating round the townAnd though occasnally his temper grew,

He tried to never let them get him down.For him, important people; only two,

Himself and Felix (destined for the crown).And for this purpose he will dedicate,Felix, his son to preen and educate.

.68.A man possessed! A man newly inspired!

A lease of life as never felt before The question was: Who was it to be hired?

Though young he was, the Count could not ignoreThe fact that Felix often had desired

To go investigate all that he saw.A curious young fellow, thats a factAnd ner enthusiasm had he lacked.

.69.To say young Felix was adventurous

Akin to saying people like to eatAnd all adventures soon notorious

As he attempted and performed each feat.Yet sometimes he would think it glorious

To boast about the people he could beat.It seemed that Felix (as the older Count)Was partial, yes! To boast a great amount.

.70. Now boasting was a speciality

For DBonaires, they flaunt their own prowessAnd had they thought of the reality,

May not have caused their neighbors such duress.It seemed to them no practicality

In not pursuing that which they obsess. Needless to say, the young lad wasnt liked Perhaps to quantify Greatly disliked!

.71.Of course young Felix loved to play at sport

But this was not his only use of time,A passion for his books created thought

To feed the brain while he was in his prime.(Well may be not his prime, youths what I ought

Have used instead but prime and youth dont rhyme.)Although he had all energy to burn,Young Felix recognized the need to learn.

.72.The problem still remains: Oh who to find

To tutor Felix in this finer art? Necessitates a one with such a mind

That may have all this knowledge known by heartAnd with that, all the sciences combined

Indeed this person must be very smart!Perhaps theres one like Descartes who could comeTo clarify cogito ergo sum !


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.73.What puts a teacher up above the rest?

Ist what they know or is it what they do?Most surely though, the Count, he wants the best,

The best that money buys, besides that tooThey must be one who Felix welcomes, lest

He may have to start his search anew,And then it came to mind, the one to try.(To put it more correctly One to buy!)

.74.The Count resolved (for he was always right,

And even when he wasnt, still he was)He sent for one whose name was Lillywhite,

But of the gender wasnt sure becosTwas never mentioned. Thus the Count did write

A letter of request to fill the pos-ition that was offered, in truth, twas fair A letter from the Count of DBonaire.

.75.In secret, the Count had suspicions that

This Lillywhite was not a manly nameBut then, he didnt mind a woman at

His house of Villa Belaire, just the same.Its been some time since in the study sat

A woman blessed with academic fame.So having sent the letter, all was rightTo patiently await for Lillywhite.

.76. Now Felix was aware his father had

Arranged a tutor (one was on the way)And though a little peeved (oh just a tad)

He knew that he would still have to obeyHis fathers wishes else he would go mad

To make his point. So Felix thought that theyShould get along; a little take and give,His aging father hasnt long to live.

.77.So many years had passed since Lenore died

And with these years the Count grew very frailBut when young Felix asked, the old man lied

And brushed away the question and detail.Though with the years, effects were hard to hide

As cancer took the wind out of his sail.To see him struggle now, its so unfair This poor old dying Count of DBonaire.

.78.The Count was not as active any more

And he was seldom seen about the grounds,He chose to sit and think about Lenore

And often you would hear his sobbing soundsWhen reminiscing what he had before

And in his mind, his love for her abounds.For till this day he never realizedThat his Lenore of him, greatly despised.

.79.Well onto better things, a little cheer

To brighten up our story so it may Not dwell on thoughts of death, though coming near

The dying Count regardless what hed say.The circumstances of his health arent clear

And so he lives his life from day to day.Lets hope he doesnt suffer too much painAnd with that done; our story once again.

.80.You would recall a tutor on the way,

A tutor by the name of LillywhiteAnd she was coming soon, in fact today

(and now you know that hes a she, thats right) Now when she did arrive What can I say?

Both Lillywhite by name, the same by sight!She had two attributes almost the same;Her knowledge and her academic fame.

.81. Now Lillywhite (her Christian name was Claire)

Was quite a beauty welcome to the eyesAnd at her sight Felix was unaware

A certain part of him had grown in size.(Now let us not be crude in this affair

tis nough to say that Claire did realize.)The young Felix surmised she was impressedWith his hirsute and well developed chest.

.82.The reason that she noticed his physique

When she arrived today on DBonaireWas that he was then swimming in the creek

That flowed beside the house Villa BelaireAnd though he had been waiting for a week,

Her chanced arrival caught him unaware. Now Felix wasnt fussed on this before,But now he wants his lessons even more!

.83. Now Lillywhite (oh, Claire) was bought to see

The Count and make acquaintance straight awayAnd as she curtsied, nodded to agree

That she may pass on lessons for the day.But when the Count saw her, his heart grabbed he

And then to stand, but all he did was sway.Her beauty was too much, the die was castAnd falling in a heap, he breathed his last.

.84.Both Claire and Felix stood there in dismay

With neither moving, for the sense of dreadAnd no-one said a thing. What could you say?

Its quite apparent that the Count was dead!(With evrything that happened on this day

Its better off that nothing else is said.)The son inherits all Villa Belaire Count Felix Alexander DBonaire.

The Count of D'Bonaire - Canto I

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