The Coach I Parent I Athlete Relationship
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The port
Psychologist 1987
1
151-160
The Coach Parent thlete Relationship
JonC Hellstedt
University of Lowell
Coaches often have difficultyworking with the parents of their athletes. Com-
munication problems, conflict, and sometimes power struggles over who has
control over the child's training occasionally develop. Based on an integra-
tion of sport psychology and family systems theory, a model for understand-
ing the coach
/
parent athlete triangle is developed. Three types of parents
are described.. overinvolved, underinvolved, and moderately involved,
s
well
as goals and strategies for working with each type of parent.
Organized youth sport programs are fertile areas of research and inter-
vention by community oriented sport psychologists. It is estimated (Smith Smoll,
1978) that more than 20 million children in the United States are involved in youth
sport programs. The potential value or harm from these programs is a subject
of debate (Coakley, 1986; Martens, 1978) and seems to depend on two key vari-
ables: the quality of adult supervision and coaching, and the amount of parental
pressure placed on the young athlete to perform (McPherson, 1978).
typical complaint of coaches is, I love working with the kids, it's the
parents I can't stand, or, That kid would be a great athlete if her parents would
get off her back. Most coaches do not feel equipped to work with parents and
therefore are reluctant to deal directly with them. They feel their main area of
responsibility is with the athlete. They often block out the parents, and if they
view them as problem parents they refuse to deal with them at all This is unfor-
tunate because coaches can be a very useful resource in improving the parent1
athlete relationship. This change may facilitate the athlete's performance and have
lasting effects on his or her development.
Development of the Model
The existing sport psychology literature (e.g., ~ o u l d ,982) stresses how impor-
tant it is for the coach to educate parents and maintain open communication. An
excellent format for conducting a parent orientation program is presented by Mar-
tens, Christina, Harvey, and Sharkey (1981) in
Coaching Young Athletes.
Their
ideas and suggestions are helpful and essential for coaches to utilize in any ath-
About the Author:
Jon
C
Hellstedt is with the Department of Psychology at the
University of Lowell, Lowell, M
01854.
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Coach Parent Athlete Relationship 153
and often problematic. It is my hope, however, that this model might be useful
to coaches in a variety of youth sport settings, and to sport psychologists who
counsel and consult with coaches and parents of young athletes.
The Parental Involvement Continuum
The amount of involvement that parents have in the athletic activities of their
children falls on a continuum from
underinvolved
to
moderate
to
overinvolved.
Underinvolved refers to a relative lack of emotional, financial, or func-
tional investment on the part of parents. Indications of underinvolvement in youth
sports would be lack of attendance at games or events, a minimal financial in-
vestment in equipment, few volunteer activities such as car pooling or other as-
sistance with transportation, minimal interest in conferences with the coach in
regard to the quality of their son s or daughter s participation or skill develop-
ment, and little or no assistance in helping the athlete set realistic outcome and
performance goals.
Moderate levels of involvement are characterized by irmparental direction,
but with enough flexibility so that the young athlete is allowed significant involve-
ment in decision-making. Parents are supportive, but ultimate decisions about
participation and levels of achievement are made by the athlete. Parents of this
Figure
Key people
in
a eoachlparentlathlete relationship.
rom
Ieff:
Clark Colon
coach; Brett Hellstedt athlete; Jon Hellstedt parent.
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54 ellstedt
type are interested in feedback from the coach about their children's skill de-
velopment, they have the ability to set realistic goals for their children, and they
support their children's participation financially without being excessive. The ath-
lete is often asked to contribute a portion of the cost through work or other finan-
cial arrangements. Moderate parents often volunteer and participate in supporting
the organization that sponsors the athletic programs, but they are generally able
to leave the athlete's skill development to the coaching staff.
Overinvolved parents have an excessive amount of involvement in the
athletic success of their children. They have a need that is satisfied through their
children's participation, or they have a hidden agenda, hoping the children's suc-
cess will provide later opportunities in education or career. They are not able
to separate their own wishes, fantasies, and needs from those of their children.
Overinvolved parents are characterized by excessive attendance at practice
sessions, standing next to the coach, yelling, frequent disagreements with game
or race officials, excessive financial support without requiring the athlete to share
in the cost, and frequent attempts to coach the child.
An
excessive amount
of their own self-esteem is tied up with their children's success on the field, so
they emphasize winning and are not willing to settle for improved performance.
They tend to set unrealistic goals for their children and communicate disapproval
to them if the goals are not met. They often become angry and disapproving if
their children do not perform well.
Th e Coach Parent thlete Triangle
The interpersonal relations between coach, parent, and athlete will now be
described for each type of parent. The coach's relationship with the athlete and
the athlete's parents can be understood using the diagram and relationship sym-
bols shown in Figure
2
Coach parent athlete
relationship with moderately
involved parents:
Coachlathlete overinvolvement
with parental conflict:
Coachlathiete overinvolvement
with parental isolation:
COACH P RENT
Figure2 Coach s relationship with athlete and parents. Note: Broken line con-
flict; straight line underinvolvement; double line moderate involvement; triple
line overinvolvement.
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16 Hellstedi
Martens,
R.
Christina,
R.
Harvey,
J.,
Sharkey, B 1981).
Coaching young athletes.
Champaign, IL: Human Kinetics.
McPherson, B. 1978). The chid in competitive sport: Influence of the social mileau.
In R. Magill, M. Ash, F. Smoll Eds.),
Children in sport:
A
contemporary an
thology
pp. 219-249). Champaign, IL: Human Kinetics.
Minuchin, S. 1974).
Families and family therapy.
Cambridge, MA: Haward University
Press.
Smith,
R.
Smoll,
F.
1978). Sport and the child. In
R.
Smith
F.
Smoll Eds.),
Psychological perspectives in youth sports.
Washington, DC: Hemisphere.
Manuscript submitted:
November 21, 1986
Revision received:
March 26, 1987