November 2016

The Caring LineLOGO

Mission House offers families time together when it matters most

One of the many meaningful things about hospice care is that it is typically provided in the home, where people can live out their lives in a comfortable, familiar setting, surrounded by loved ones. But for some patients, staying at home is simply not an option.When we opened our new hospice house in October 2015, our goal was to expand end-of-life options in the San Mateo County area. Mission House is a place for people in the last weeks of life ...continued on page 3

Hospice House Campaign

who need intensive, round-the-clock care that cannot be provided at home. With just 10 bedrooms, Mission House offers a peaceful, homelike environment for people who might otherwise be in the hospital. Our focus at Mission House is on the whole family.In the past year, our hospice house has become an integral part of the services offered by Mission Hospice & Home Care. We are honored to have already cared for more than 100 people – and their families. Here are a few of their stories.At 95, Eddie was suffering from end-stage cancer and bouts of delirium. After his final hospitalization, it became too difficult for his wife Jean to care for him at home, and they could not afford round-the-clock caregivers. Once Eddie was at Mission House, our professional staff monitored his medications carefully to be sure that he was safe, comfortable, and present for his wife and family. They visited frequently; Jean often slept in a rollaway bed beside him.After a volunteer hairdresser gave him a haircut, Eddie pronounced himself so handsome that his wife would have to worry that he’d be attractive to other women. On the couple’s 49th wedding anniversary, the Mission House team gathered with cake and cider. Eddie sang love songs to his wife, and the staff created a photograph album for Jean to keep. Weeks after his admission to Mission House, Eddie passed away, peacefully, his wife at his side.

Hospice House Campaign Seeking public support

Last fall, we took a leap of faith and purchased a property on San Mateo’s 16th Avenue. Thanks to extraordinary support from the community, we can now care for people and their families in Mission House, San Mateo County’s only hospice house.Adding Mission House to our continuum of care ensures that we can offer compassionate end-of-life support for patients at any stage of a life-limiting illness.To fund the opening of the house, Mission Hospice launched an ambitious $6 million fundraising campaign. We’re thrilled to announce that local leaders and our community partners have already invested more than $4.3 million.We are now asking everyone in the community to join us in supporting our Hospice House Campaign. Together, we can

raise the remaining $1.7 million necessary to give patients the gift of compassionate end-of-life care at Mission House – and support for the entire family. To find out more about our hospice house campaign, contact Marsha at 650.532.2550 or MEddleman@MissionHospice.org.

Mission House has peaceful, comfortable places for families to gather, knowing that their loved ones are receiving the best care possible.

The opportunities we have to care for one another – at any stage of life – can be the most rewarding things we do. Taking care of others can also be exhausting, frustrating, and stressful.Our Mission Hospice teams know that care for the family caregiver is just as important as the care we provide for our patients. Often, family members suffer emotionally, spiritually, and even physically as they watch their loved one progress through the final year of life. Our continuum of care includes wraparound support for these family members throughout the illness and after death. This support allows the family to be more fully present for their loved one – something that benefits the entire family. Family members often let us know that we make it possible for them to make the most of their time together, and we are honored to do this.Families are the center of our work at our hospice house, where we see every day the value of this comprehensive support network. While our compassionate staff and volunteers provide round-the-clock symptom management, families can focus on what matters – and our team can provide emotional and spiritual support for all of them.Thanks to the enormous generosity of our community, we opened Mission House in October 2015, and in the past year, we have cared for more than 100 people who cannot receive hospice services at home. We are now officially launching the public phase of our fundraising campaign, seeking to raise the final $1.7 million to support the hospice house. I hope you will consider donating to the campaign, knowing that your gift will help provide a peaceful, homelike setting, where people can spend their final days surrounded by family. – dw

2 Mission Hospice & Home Care It’s about life

Caring for the caregiver

Dwight Wilson, CEO

Upcoming eventsMovie night: Honor FlightThursday, November 10, 2016 • 6:30pmMission Hospice & Home Care, 1670 South Amphlett Blvd., Suite 300, San MateoIn honor of Veterans Day, we close our film series with this heartwarming film chronicling the journeys of thousands of WWII veterans on their final mission to visit Washington DC. Free tickets at MissionHospice.eventbrite.com.

The Art of Saying GoodbyeSaturday, November 12, 2016 • 9:30am - 5pm Peninsula Jewish Community Center, 800 Foster City Blvd., Foster CityA hands-on workshop about using the creative arts to express grief. Registration is $80 (sliding scale) including all art materials and lunch. Call Susan at 650.532.2396 or register at MissionHospice.eventbrite.com.

Light Up A Life Remembrance CeremonySunday, November 13, 2016 • 2 - 4pm San Mateo Senior Center, 2645 Alameda de las Pulgas, San Mateo Our annual interfaith ceremony celebrates the lives of those who have died, and offers comfort to those who remember them. RSVP to 650.554.1000.

Grief and the Holidays Support GroupMonday nights, November 14, 2016 – January 9, 2017Mission Hospice & Home Care, 1670 South Amphlett Blvd., Suite 300, San MateoThis semi-structured nine-week group will help grieving people manage the holiday season. Facilitated by Isabel Stenzel, LCSW. Free, but registration is required. To sign up, contact Roby Newman at 650.931.8236 or RNewman@MissionHospice.org.

• 38th Anniversary Celebration •Sunday, January 29, 2017, 4 - 7pmSharon Heights Golf & Country Club, Menlo Park Celebrate 38 years of service to the local community. Tickets go on sale in December. For more information, call 650.554.1000.

Drop-in Grief Support GroupsTuesday evenings from 6 - 7:30pm, led by Roby Newman, LCSW Mission Hospice & Home Care, 1670 South Amphlett, Suite 300, San Mateo1st and 3rd Saturdays, 10 - 11:30am, led by Tracie Pyers, MSW Mission Hospice & Home Care, 1670 South Amphlett, Suite 300, San Mateo2nd and 4th Saturdays, 10 - 11:30am, Group for Young Widows and Widowers, led by Tracie Pyers, MSW and Meechal Hall, LCSWMission Hospice & Home Care, 1670 South Amphlett, Suite 300, San Mateo2nd and 4th Thursdays, 4 - 5:30pm, led by Bethany Berkowitz, RN, BSN and Dawn Fitzpatrick, LCSW (from Coastside Adult Day Health) Coastside Adult Day Health Center, 925 Main Street, Half Moon BayEn Español: Miércoles en la noche, 6 - 7:30pm, Dirigido por la Maestra en Trabajo Social Sara Martinez Redwood City Fair Oaks Community Center, 2600 Middlefield Road, Redwood CityOur free drop-in bereavement support groups are open to the community. The schedule may change around the holidays; for details and to confirm the schedule, visit MissionHospice.org or call 650.554.1000.

For details on all our events, visit www.MissionHospice.org.Through the We Honor Veterans program, Mission Hospice is committed to respectful and compassionate care for our veterans, recognizing their unique needs at life’s end.

www.MissionHospice.org Compassionate care and comfort when needed most 3

Robin was a well-educated 51-year old woman with kidney failure. After eight years of self-dialysis, the treatment became less effective, and Robin felt she had no quality of life. She made the decision to discontinue dialysis, and was admitted to Mission House.Recognizing Robin’s emotional anguish, the Mission House staff and volunteers spent hours listening to her stories, offering companionship and affection. Our caregivers prepared her favorite meals (her first request: pepperoni pizza). A nurse arranged a Valentine’s Day dinner for Robin, and coaxed her into dancing – something she had not done for years.

As her organs inevitably failed, she needed more pain medication, and became less responsive. Having helped ease her physical and emotional pain, the staff and volunteers at Mission House accompanied Robin until her last breath.A lifelong bachelor, Barry, 60, lived alone in Belmont. His older siblings cared for him until the symptoms of his end-stage cancer became too much for them to manage. Once he was admitted to Mission House, his family gathered at the house every day to be with their baby brother. On St. Patrick’s Day,

the family brought in corned beef and all the trimmings; the Mission House cook prepared the meal, which Barry and his family shared with staff and volunteers. When Barry needed rest, he would send his family out of his room so he could sleep. They spent time together as a family in the living room, dining room, and garden of the house, knowing that Barry was in good hands.After Barry’s death, his family expressed their enormous gratitude – not only for the compassion and care Barry received, but also for the welcoming, warm environment of the house, which allowed them to retain their sense of family.

Many thanks to event co-chairs Martha Melton and Yoli Crosby and their committee for hosting the Mission Hospice Auxiliary’s 2016 Fall Gala. The festive evening – with a rocking band and a delicious dinner – raised a record $174,000+ to support our Hospice House Campaign!

Stories from Mission House ...continued from front Meet Tracie Pyers,

Medical Social Worker

Born: Cleveland, Ohio With Mission Hospice: 1999-2004; returned in 2011How I came to hospice work: It was a good job for a young motherMission Hospice in three words: Caring – Amazing – CompassionatePassions: Hiking and taking photos Little known fact: I love to cookReading: Fire Shut Up in My Bones, by Charles BlowDesert island album: Anything by PrinceFavorite food: Chile relleno – made by my husband

Special thanks to our major sponsors: Mills-Peninsula Health Services

Marilyn Porto, Realtor • BC NetworksGlenda Carney • Dr. Stephen & Nancy Weller

CHME, Inc. • Crosby N-Gray & Co.Photos © 2016 Carl Ward Photography. More at www.MissionHospice.org/photo-gallery and on our Facebook page.

LOGO

Nonprofit OrganizationUS Postage

PAIDPermit No. 63

Burlingame, CA1670 South Amphlett Boulevard, Suite 300, San Mateo, CA 94402

Mission Hospice & Home Care serves patients and families in the San Mateo County area with quality care and compassionate end-of-life support. Founded in 1979, we are a local, independent nonprofit that has provided more than ten thousand patients and their families with physical, emotional, and spiritual support throughout the journey from a life-threatening diagnosis through death and the process of bereavement. www.MissionHospice.org • 650.554.1000Board of DirectorsJudy DiPaoloChairDr. Stephen WellerVice ChairKevin GilmoreCo-Treasurer Michael TeutschelCo-TreasurerDebbie GoodinSecretary

Sally BergmanAndrea BoltsLisa BurrisDr. Karen CheeMary ChigosDr. Adil DaudSteve FickJane LennonDr. Robert RoeSheila Young

Honorary Lifetime MemberAdella HarrisAuxiliary Co-PresidentsAnn NolanMarilyn Porto

To add or remove your name from our mailing list, please call 650.554.1000.

facebook.com/missionhospice

INSIDE: Mission House offers families time together From the CEO: Caring for the caregiver Photos from our Fall Gala

Comprehensive support available for those who are grievingAt Mission Hospice, our compassionate care extends to the whole family – before, during, and after a death. We also offer grief support for the entire community: our free drop-in bereavement groups are open to anyone who is grieving.

Our expanded bereavement programs now include groups for Spanish speakers, young widows and widowers, those who are grieving the loss of a parent, and a twice yearly “writing through loss” workshop. One of our writing workshop members shares her experience in this honest poem.

You can find information about our grief support inside, online at MissionHospice.org, or by calling us at 650.554.1000.

In Between

— Sandi Kahn

Brain Fog has set in, while staring at a blank page, teasing me to fill up its emptiness with this week’s prompts

There’s been a surprising interior seismic shift,

where my vocabulary of grief and loss evade me New words for acceptance, journey, serenity have snuck in as an unfamiliar, embryonic language

Now what am I supposed to do? Making changes is a slow, lifelong character flaw of mine

Motivation sits by the roadside hoping to hitch a ride on a solo pilgrimage of reinvention

Instead, it becomes stuck in its safe, and familiar home where sometimes dishes get washed clothes get put away phone calls get returned, condolence cards get written

This is not to say that I haven’t done my share of traveling to foreign lands, been surrounded by the Best Family and Friends, Yet this living on my own is just plain strange…. For now Motivation to change has gone AWOL, waiting for me to jump start my stalled engine waiting for me to make friends with Living, rather than Loss

Save the date!

38th Anniversary Celebration

Sunday, January 29