The Big Bang Theory - 6x01 - The Date Night Variable.en

7/30/2019 The Big Bang Theory - 6x01 - The Date Night Variable.en

1/34

100:00:00,847 --> 00:00:02,631Previously onThe Big Bang Theory...

200:00:02,737 --> 00:00:05,738We now pronounce youhusband and wife!

300:00:08,937 --> 00:00:11,189I love this part!

400:00:11,191 --> 00:00:12,774Me, too!

500:00:12,776 --> 00:00:16,244I have strongly mixed feelings!

600:00:18,013 --> 00:00:20,998

So, Howard's reallyin space, huh?

700:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,900Mm-hmm, InternationalSpace Station.

800:00:22,902 --> 00:00:25,002250 miles that way.

9

00:00:25,004 --> 00:00:27,789Right now, Howard'sstaring down at our planet

1000:00:27,791 --> 00:00:31,342like a tiny Jewish Greek god.

1100:00:31,344 --> 00:00:34,412Zeusowitz.

12

00:00:34,414 --> 00:00:35,697I must admit,

1300:00:35,699 --> 00:00:38,249I can't helpbut feel a twinge of envy.

1400:00:38,251 --> 00:00:41,936


2/34

He can look out the window andsee the majesty of the universe

1500:00:41,938 --> 00:00:44,055unfolding before his eyes.

1600:00:44,057 --> 00:00:47,759His dim, uncomprehending eyes.

1700:00:49,812 --> 00:00:53,865It's like a catin an airport carrying case.

1800:00:53,867 --> 00:00:56,951You know, it's not exactlyglamorous up there.

1900:00:56,953 --> 00:00:58,986The water that

the astronauts drink

2000:00:58,988 --> 00:01:01,539is made from each other'srecycled urine.

2100:01:02,791 --> 00:01:04,225Must be nice.

2200:01:04,227 --> 00:01:07,128

Nobody wants anythingthat comes out of me.

2300:01:11,967 --> 00:01:14,919I wonder what he'sdoing right this very second.

2400:01:14,921 --> 00:01:17,805Mm, conducting experimentsin zero gravity.

2500:01:17,807 --> 00:01:20,258Peering through his telescopeat the birth of the cosmos.

2600:01:20,260 --> 00:01:23,694Whatever it is, we know hislife will never be the same.


3/34

2700:01:23,696 --> 00:01:27,732Howard! Can you hear me?!

2800:01:27,734 --> 00:01:31,519I can hear youwithout the phone!

2900:01:31,521 --> 00:01:32,970Don't be snippy.

3000:01:32,972 --> 00:01:35,606I'm just excited to talkto my baby!

3100:01:35,608 --> 00:01:38,109I'm excited to talk to you, too.

3200:01:38,111 --> 00:01:40,995

So, what's this mishegasabout you moving out

3300:01:40,997 --> 00:01:44,165to go live withthe little Polish girl?!

3400:01:44,167 --> 00:01:46,868How about calling her my wife?

35

00:01:46,870 --> 00:01:49,670Wives don't take boysfrom their mothers.

3600:01:49,672 --> 00:01:52,924They do.That's why we marry them!

3700:01:53,876 --> 00:01:56,660I just hope I'm not deadfrom a broken heart

3800:01:56,662 --> 00:01:58,546before you get back.

3900:01:58,548 --> 00:02:02,934Ma, please. Everyone from NASAis listening to this phone call.


4/34

4000:02:02,936 --> 00:02:06,687Good. They should knowwhat a horrible son you are!

4100:02:06,689 --> 00:02:09,891Okay, Ma, great talking to you!Gotta go!

4200:02:12,028 --> 00:02:15,179Well... space is ruined.

4300:02:18,367 --> 00:02:22,019Our whole universewas in a hot, dense state

4400:02:22,021 --> 00:02:25,339Then nearly 14 billion yearsago expansion started... Wait!

4500:02:25,341 --> 00:02:26,908The Earth began to cool

4600:02:26,910 --> 00:02:29,527The autotrophs began to drool,Neanderthals developed tools

4700:02:29,529 --> 00:02:32,146We built the WallWe built the pyramids

4800:02:32,148 --> 00:02:34,832Math, Science, History,unraveling the mystery

4900:02:34,834 --> 00:02:36,751That all startedwith a big bang

5000:02:36,753 --> 00:02:38,719

Bang!

5100:02:38,744 --> 00:02:42,744The Big Bang Theory S06xE01@LIO_OFFICIAL

5200:02:42,745 --> 00:02:46,745corrected by


5/34

@LIO_OFFICIAL

5300:02:51,741 --> 00:02:54,576This is so exciting.

5400:02:54,578 --> 00:02:57,329Soon, my upper lip willbe the same fake blonde

5500:02:57,331 --> 00:02:59,414as my beautifulbest friend.

5600:03:00,249 --> 00:03:02,634Hey, this ismy natural hair color.

5700:03:04,354 --> 00:03:06,972Now.

5800:03:06,974 --> 00:03:09,141So, does Sheldon haveanything special

5900:03:09,143 --> 00:03:10,926planned for youtomorrow night?

6000:03:10,928 --> 00:03:13,595

Oh, yes. According to theRelationship Agreement,

6100:03:13,597 --> 00:03:15,447on the anniversaryof our first date,

6200:03:15,449 --> 00:03:18,617he must take me to a nicedinner, ask about my day

6300:03:18,619 --> 00:03:20,569and engage in casualphysical contact

6400:03:20,571 --> 00:03:24,039that a disinterested onlookermight mistake for intimacy.


6/34

6500:03:24,041 --> 00:03:25,991That's hot.

6600:03:27,293 --> 00:03:29,628You kids better use protection.

6700:03:29,630 --> 00:03:32,247How long doesthis stay on?

6800:03:32,249 --> 00:03:33,382Just a couple of minutes.

6900:03:33,384 --> 00:03:34,666You've really neverdone this before?

7000:03:34,668 --> 00:03:37,219

Once in high school,but I dozed off

7100:03:37,221 --> 00:03:40,439and woke up with second-degreechemical burns on my face.

7200:03:40,441 --> 00:03:42,257Oh, my gosh,that's awful.

7300:03:42,259 --> 00:03:43,842The other kidsmake fun of you?

7400:03:43,844 --> 00:03:47,146No, I had a cover story;I told everyone it was herpes.

7500:03:48,565 --> 00:03:50,849So, how's everything going

with you and Leonard?

7600:03:50,851 --> 00:03:52,968I don't know,it's still kind of weird.

7700:03:52,970 --> 00:03:55,254We haven't really recovered


7/34

since he proposed to me

7800:03:55,256 --> 00:03:56,622in the middle of sex.

7900:03:56,624 --> 00:03:59,241Oh. Boo-hoo.

8000:03:59,243 --> 00:04:01,143If Sheldon proposedto me during sex,

8100:04:01,145 --> 00:04:04,913my ovaries would grab on to himand never let go.

8200:04:09,335 --> 00:04:13,839Leonard, where do you standon the anthropic principle?

8300:04:13,841 --> 00:04:16,542Interesting question. On theone hand, I always thought...

8400:04:16,544 --> 00:04:19,828You don't even knowwhat it is, do you?

8500:04:19,830 --> 00:04:23,048

The anthropic principle statesthat if we wish to explain

8600:04:23,050 --> 00:04:25,551why our universe existsthe way it does,

8700:04:25,553 --> 00:04:28,503the answer is thatit must have qualities

8800:04:28,505 --> 00:04:30,889that allow intelligentcreatures to arise

8900:04:30,891 --> 00:04:33,058who are capable ofasking the question.


8/34

9000:04:33,060 --> 00:04:36,528As I am doingso eloquently right now.

9100:04:36,530 --> 00:04:39,565I know whatthe anthropic principle is.

9200:04:39,567 --> 00:04:41,950Of course.I just explained it to you.

9300:04:41,952 --> 00:04:45,520Now, where do youstand on it?

9400:04:45,522 --> 00:04:47,656Where do you stand on it?Strongly pro.

9500:04:47,658 --> 00:04:50,425Then I believe that Godcreated the world in six days,

9600:04:50,427 --> 00:04:53,128and on the seventh,he made you to annoy me.

9700:04:56,916 --> 00:04:58,500

Hey, guys.Hey.

9800:04:58,502 --> 00:05:00,419Yeah, wait, Raj,where do you stand

9900:05:00,421 --> 00:05:02,054on the anthropicprinciple?

10000:05:02,056 --> 00:05:04,206I'm all for it.Attaboy!

10100:05:04,208 --> 00:05:05,540Well, hang on.Why do you believe


9/34

10200:05:05,542 --> 00:05:07,259that he knowswhat it is and I don't?

10300:05:07,261 --> 00:05:09,978Oh, Leonard.Let's not take a saw

10400:05:09,980 --> 00:05:12,547to the branchwe're sitting on, shall we?

10500:05:12,549 --> 00:05:14,099Hey, uh,if you guys

10600:05:14,101 --> 00:05:17,186are free tonight, I heard abouta spa where you soak your feet

10700:05:17,188 --> 00:05:18,737in a pool full of little fish

10800:05:18,739 --> 00:05:20,772that eat all the dead skinright off them.

10900:05:20,774 --> 00:05:22,557I don't need

to tell you,

11000:05:22,559 --> 00:05:26,578in Los Angeles, sandalseason is year round.

11100:05:26,580 --> 00:05:29,031Actually, I'm hangingout with Penny.

112

00:05:29,033 --> 00:05:32,417Oh, okay. Sounds likeit's me and you, Sheldon.

11300:05:32,419 --> 00:05:35,237How about we sic some guppieson those puppies?

114


10/34

00:05:36,289 --> 00:05:38,840As I've stated beforeon numerous occasions,

11500:05:38,842 --> 00:05:41,843the only sea creature I wouldeven consider being eaten by

11600:05:41,845 --> 00:05:45,047is the Kraken, becausethe last words I would hear are:

11700:05:45,049 --> 00:05:47,382"Release the Kraken."

11800:05:47,384 --> 00:05:49,184That never gets old.

11900:05:49,186 --> 00:05:52,587

"Release the Kraken!"Oh, chills.

12000:05:52,589 --> 00:05:55,440Besides, I'm havingdinner with Amy.

12100:05:55,442 --> 00:05:58,277Oh, okay. I'll just go homeand be alone.

12200:05:58,279 --> 00:05:59,427W-Which is cool.

12300:05:59,429 --> 00:06:03,148I eat alone, I sleep alone,I cry alone, so...

12400:06:03,150 --> 00:06:05,083Cool.

12500:06:06,819 --> 00:06:10,872Darn. If you weren't busy,I'd ask you to join us.

12600:06:11,624 --> 00:06:13,959Really? I cancome? Thanks!


11/34

12700:06:13,961 --> 00:06:16,461Sheldon, are you sureyou want to be bringing Raj

12800:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,080on your date nightwith Amy?

12900:06:18,082 --> 00:06:19,831Oh, absolutely.

13000:06:19,833 --> 00:06:24,452I have a contractual obligationto provide Amy with conversation

13100:06:24,454 --> 00:06:26,338and casualphysical contact,

13200:06:26,340 --> 00:06:28,006but nowhere is it specified

13300:06:28,008 --> 00:06:31,143that I can't outsource thatto an Indian.

13400:06:35,798 --> 00:06:38,150Howie?

13500:06:38,152 --> 00:06:39,184Howie?

13600:06:39,186 --> 00:06:42,271Hey, there's my beautiful bride!

13700:06:42,273 --> 00:06:43,572Can you see me?

138

00:06:43,574 --> 00:06:45,907I can.How are you?

13900:06:45,909 --> 00:06:47,075I'm amazing.

14000:06:47,077 --> 00:06:49,528


12/34

I mean, this iseven better than I dreamed.

14100:06:49,530 --> 00:06:54,249I look out the window, and...it's all so unbelievable.

14200:06:54,251 --> 00:06:55,617Good for you.

14300:06:55,619 --> 00:07:00,088I just had a seemingly endlessdinner with your mom.

14400:07:00,923 --> 00:07:03,258Oh, yeah? That's nice.

14500:07:03,260 --> 00:07:05,961It was. Until I found out

you never told her

14600:07:05,963 --> 00:07:07,446we're not gonna live with her.

14700:07:07,448 --> 00:07:10,882Let's talk about thatfor a minute.

14800:07:11,768 --> 00:07:15,003

Hey, look, this pen is floating.

14900:07:15,005 --> 00:07:18,056How crazy is that?

15000:07:21,227 --> 00:07:23,695You said you told her,but you never did!

15100:07:23,697 --> 00:07:27,182

Okay, okay, I knowyou're upset, but...

15200:07:27,184 --> 00:07:31,620let me share somethingI've learned since I got here.

15300:07:31,622 --> 00:07:33,455


13/34

You realize

15400:07:33,457 --> 00:07:35,857how small your problems are

15500:07:35,859 --> 00:07:38,710when you're looking downon them from space.

15600:07:39,963 --> 00:07:42,180Now, come on, that's gotto make you feel better.

15700:07:42,182 --> 00:07:45,350How clear is the imageof me on that screen?

15800:07:45,352 --> 00:07:46,885Pretty clear.

15900:07:46,887 --> 00:07:49,688Do I look like I feel better?

16000:07:49,690 --> 00:07:54,476I mean, it's not, like,HD quality.

16100:07:54,478 --> 00:07:56,228Listen, mister, you're

gonna talk to your mother

16200:07:56,230 --> 00:07:58,463and you're gonna fix this,or that thing I said

16300:07:58,465 --> 00:08:00,866I was gonna do to youthe minute you got home,

164

00:08:00,868 --> 00:08:03,819you can do to yourself.

16500:08:05,888 --> 00:08:08,774Like he's beendoing since he got here.

16600:08:13,896 --> 00:08:17,416


14/34

Sheldon, this placeis so romantic.

16700:08:17,418 --> 00:08:19,034Oh, I'm glad you like it.

16800:08:19,036 --> 00:08:20,419Raj picked it out.

16900:08:20,421 --> 00:08:24,456Well, when you see him,tell him I say thank you.

17000:08:24,458 --> 00:08:26,174Tell him yourself.

17100:08:26,176 --> 00:08:28,009Yoo-hoo!

17200:08:28,011 --> 00:08:29,678Over here!

17300:08:31,431 --> 00:08:34,066I don't understand.What's he doing here?

17400:08:34,068 --> 00:08:35,133I invited him.

17500:08:35,135 --> 00:08:37,302On our date?

17600:08:37,304 --> 00:08:39,137Sheldon, that's not okay.

17700:08:39,139 --> 00:08:40,689Yes, it is.

178

00:08:40,691 --> 00:08:43,825There's a loopholein the Relationship Agreement.

17900:08:43,827 --> 00:08:45,594You found a loophole?

18000:08:47,780 --> 00:08:50,682


15/34

Sorry I started without you.I'm a little nervous.

18100:08:50,684 --> 00:08:53,452It's been a long timesince I've been on a date.

18200:08:53,454 --> 00:08:57,906I can't believe I bleachedmy mustache for this.

18300:08:57,908 --> 00:08:59,157You should goto my girl.

18400:08:59,159 --> 00:09:01,293She'll knock outthose sideburns for free.

185

00:09:11,375 --> 00:09:13,441You know, Amy,I don't even think

18600:09:13,443 --> 00:09:15,710you and I have hada real conversation.

18700:09:15,712 --> 00:09:18,830Let's use tonight to get to knoweach other a little better.

18800:09:18,832 --> 00:09:20,532You start.

18900:09:23,402 --> 00:09:25,320Go home.

19000:09:25,322 --> 00:09:27,505I don't understand.

19100:09:27,507 --> 00:09:30,375Sheldon, how could you do this?It's our second anniversary.

19200:09:30,377 --> 00:09:32,110It's your anniversary?!

193


16/34

00:09:32,112 --> 00:09:35,113Oh, my God, I had no idea.

19400:09:35,115 --> 00:09:37,632Amy, please,let me make this right.

19500:09:37,634 --> 00:09:38,783Thank you.

19600:09:38,785 --> 00:09:40,118My pleasure.Waiter?

19700:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,721A bottle of champagneand three glasses.

19800:09:43,589 --> 00:09:44,789

Oh, boy,

19900:09:44,791 --> 00:09:47,258isn't this romantic?

20000:09:47,260 --> 00:09:49,461Oh, I hope that'sa rhetorical question,

20100:09:49,463 --> 00:09:51,629

because I have no clue.

20200:09:53,649 --> 00:09:55,934This is great.What's the occasion?

20300:09:55,936 --> 00:09:57,769No occasion. You know,things have been

204

00:09:57,771 --> 00:10:00,605a little weird between us,so I wanted to throw together

20500:10:00,607 --> 00:10:01,940a fun nightjust for you.

206


17/34

00:10:01,942 --> 00:10:04,192That is so sweet.I got all your favorites.

20700:10:04,194 --> 00:10:05,360Beer, wings, sliders.

20800:10:05,362 --> 00:10:06,995We can watch thefootball game.

20900:10:06,997 --> 00:10:09,197I even painted my stomach.

21000:10:10,833 --> 00:10:12,984"Go sports"?Well...

21100:10:12,986 --> 00:10:15,003

in case you were inthe mood for baseball,

21200:10:15,005 --> 00:10:17,922I didn't want tolook ridiculous.

21300:10:17,924 --> 00:10:19,323This is awesome.I love it!

21400:10:19,325 --> 00:10:20,324Good, I'm glad.

21500:10:20,326 --> 00:10:21,910Gosh, I workedmy ass off today.

21600:10:21,912 --> 00:10:23,344This is exactlywhat I needed.

21700:10:23,346 --> 00:10:25,096Great. Just relax and enjoy.

21800:10:25,098 --> 00:10:26,581Tonight is all about you.

219


18/34

00:10:26,583 --> 00:10:28,216Ah, thank you!

22000:10:30,821 --> 00:10:34,606So, where exactly are wein this relationship?

22100:10:35,441 --> 00:10:36,641Oh, come on!

22200:10:36,643 --> 00:10:38,810I just told youI had a hard day.

22300:10:38,812 --> 00:10:40,562You're right, I'm sorry.Let's watch the game.

22400:10:40,564 --> 00:10:41,913

Great.

22500:10:43,250 --> 00:10:46,117I just know the longerwe wait to talk about it,

22600:10:46,119 --> 00:10:48,186the weirder it gets.

22700:10:48,188 --> 00:10:51,873

Sweetie, can I just bethe girl tonight?

22800:10:51,875 --> 00:10:53,875Absolutely.You're the girl, I'm the guy.

22900:10:53,877 --> 00:10:55,393Now, you watchyour football game

23000:10:55,395 --> 00:10:57,395while I make you alittle plate here.

23100:10:57,397 --> 00:10:59,230Thank you!

232


19/34

00:11:01,468 --> 00:11:02,634Oh, I'll get it.

23300:11:02,636 --> 00:11:04,886Go sports!

23400:11:06,422 --> 00:11:08,840Hello-lo-lo.

23500:11:08,842 --> 00:11:09,974What are you doing here?

23600:11:09,976 --> 00:11:11,760I thought you were outth Sheldon and Amy.

23700:11:11,762 --> 00:11:12,894I was, but it'stheir anniversary

23800:11:12,896 --> 00:11:14,779and I didn't wantto be a third wheel,

23900:11:14,781 --> 00:11:16,064so I figured I'd come over here

24000:11:16,066 --> 00:11:18,382and hang out with you

and Penny on your date.

24100:11:18,384 --> 00:11:20,769Well, it's not reallya great time.

24200:11:20,771 --> 00:11:22,654Penny and I have some thingswe need to talk about.

243

00:11:22,656 --> 00:11:24,439No, we don't!Come on in!

24400:11:24,441 --> 00:11:26,224Sweet!

24500:11:26,226 --> 00:11:30,612


20/34

I can't believeI shaved my stomach for this.

24600:11:36,051 --> 00:11:38,336Hey, Froot Loops.

24700:11:41,423 --> 00:11:43,458You got a phone call.

24800:11:43,460 --> 00:11:44,609Who is it?

24900:11:44,611 --> 00:11:46,594A woman who saysshe's your mother

25000:11:46,596 --> 00:11:49,013but sounds likeyour father.

25100:11:52,685 --> 00:11:54,752Hey, Ma.

25200:11:54,754 --> 00:11:56,855You know, we couldsee each other

25300:11:56,857 --> 00:11:58,773if you turn on the computer.

25400:11:58,775 --> 00:12:01,109I'm not going nearthat fakakta thing.

25500:12:01,111 --> 00:12:04,028I'll catch a computer virus!

25600:12:04,864 --> 00:12:08,116You can't catch

a computer virus.

25700:12:08,118 --> 00:12:12,954Oh, so now you're an astronautand a doctor?

25800:12:12,956 --> 00:12:16,241What do you want, Ma?


21/34

25900:12:16,243 --> 00:12:20,044Your wife says you havesomething important to tell me.

26000:12:20,830 --> 00:12:23,882Okay, here it is.

26100:12:23,884 --> 00:12:28,336Bernadette and I are startinga life together and...

26200:12:28,338 --> 00:12:31,289Oh, God!You are gonna leave me!

26300:12:31,291 --> 00:12:32,456Ma...

26400:12:32,458 --> 00:12:33,791It's okay.

26500:12:33,793 --> 00:12:36,261Your father left me,you left me--

26600:12:36,263 --> 00:12:39,814I guess I'm just the kindof person people like to leave.

26700:12:41,433 --> 00:12:44,235It's not... definite.

26800:12:44,237 --> 00:12:46,404I'll talk to Bernadette.

26900:12:46,406 --> 00:12:47,572Don't bother.

27000:12:47,574 --> 00:12:49,858I'll just go sit in a holein the ground

27100:12:49,860 --> 00:12:52,643so I'm no trouble when I die.

272


22/34

00:12:53,529 --> 00:12:55,246Stop it, Ma.

27300:12:55,248 --> 00:12:58,983I'm sure I can getBernie to come around.

27400:12:58,985 --> 00:13:00,652I knew it!

27500:13:00,654 --> 00:13:02,287I knew she was behind this!

27600:13:02,289 --> 00:13:04,923You listen to me,if you want to be a man,

27700:13:04,925 --> 00:13:08,710you can't let a woman

tell you what to do!

27800:13:08,712 --> 00:13:09,878Okay,

27900:13:09,880 --> 00:13:11,763okay.

28000:13:11,765 --> 00:13:15,166I can't believe these people

won the Cold War.

28100:13:17,169 --> 00:13:20,471Now, can we pleasechange the subject?

28200:13:20,473 --> 00:13:21,606Fine.

28300:13:21,608 --> 00:13:23,741

Explain whyyou've been gone so long

28400:13:23,743 --> 00:13:25,810and I haven't gottena single letter.

28500:13:25,812 --> 00:13:29,280


23/34

Not even a lousy postcard!

28600:13:33,186 --> 00:13:37,021You know, I'm growing to likeAmerican football.

28700:13:37,023 --> 00:13:39,057Yeah, it's fun, isn't it?Well...

28800:13:39,059 --> 00:13:41,910it's not the balls-to-the-wallaction of badminton or cricket,

28900:13:41,912 --> 00:13:44,028but hey...

29000:13:44,030 --> 00:13:46,264what is?

29100:13:47,399 --> 00:13:48,866All right, who's readyfor another beer?

29200:13:48,868 --> 00:13:50,435I'm good.No, thank you.

29300:13:50,437 --> 00:13:51,970

Girls.

29400:13:52,805 --> 00:13:55,573I am havingthe nicest time.

29500:13:55,575 --> 00:13:57,709You guys are likefamily to me.

296

00:13:57,711 --> 00:13:58,910You know that, right?

29700:13:58,912 --> 00:14:00,895That's great.Get out.

29800:14:00,897 --> 00:14:02,430


24/34

What? Why?

29900:14:02,432 --> 00:14:04,682Penny and I have some issueswe need to talk about.

30000:14:04,684 --> 00:14:05,650Oh...

30100:14:05,652 --> 00:14:07,902pish on your issues!

30200:14:08,771 --> 00:14:10,838You guys are fine.

30300:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,890Yes, you hit some bumpsalong the way.

30400:14:12,892 --> 00:14:14,158I mean, Penny,

30500:14:14,160 --> 00:14:17,095you've always known how this manhas felt about you,

30600:14:17,097 --> 00:14:19,614but you made himgrovel for affection.

30700:14:19,616 --> 00:14:20,748Okay, hold on...

30800:14:20,750 --> 00:14:21,950Now, don't blame yourself.

30900:14:21,952 --> 00:14:24,252He was a groveler from way back.

31000:14:25,671 --> 00:14:29,641But the point is,the two of you got past it.

31100:14:29,643 --> 00:14:31,442And, Leonard,you go and propose


25/34

31200:14:31,444 --> 00:14:33,628to this poor girlin the middle of sex?

31300:14:33,630 --> 00:14:36,464That was some weak tea, dude.

31400:14:37,299 --> 00:14:39,183Some people mightsay it was romantic.

31500:14:39,185 --> 00:14:40,918Yeah, no.

31600:14:40,920 --> 00:14:45,256But yet, here you two are,still together.

317

00:14:45,258 --> 00:14:48,426And that's even after you and Ihad our crazy naked night.

31800:14:48,428 --> 00:14:49,677Okay...That's enough.

31900:14:49,679 --> 00:14:51,212I'm just saying

32000:14:51,214 --> 00:14:52,930that after everythingyou've been through,

32100:14:52,932 --> 00:14:55,066you get to lookinto each other's eyes

32200:14:55,068 --> 00:14:57,735and say "I love you."

32300:14:57,737 --> 00:14:59,754And that's beautiful.

32400:15:02,574 --> 00:15:05,793Actually, to this day,she's never really said it.


26/34

32500:15:06,729 --> 00:15:09,263Oh, Penny!That's ridiculous!

32600:15:10,299 --> 00:15:11,265You know you love him!

32700:15:11,267 --> 00:15:12,800You look him in the eyesand you say it.

32800:15:12,802 --> 00:15:13,801Raj...Oh, come on,

32900:15:13,803 --> 00:15:15,887you know you want to say it.Say it.

33000:15:16,555 --> 00:15:18,823Say you love him.

33100:15:20,676 --> 00:15:23,127Say it!

33200:15:26,815 --> 00:15:29,367I really thoughtshe would say it.

33300:15:36,492 --> 00:15:41,295Have I ever told you you'relike a sexy praying mantis?

33400:15:42,147 --> 00:15:45,416Every time you drink alcohol.

33500:15:45,418 --> 00:15:48,486You know what's wonderfulabout the praying mantis?

33600:15:49,288 --> 00:15:52,173They devour their mate.

33700:15:52,175 --> 00:15:53,975Your point being?

338


27/34

00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:03,568Dessert is served.

33900:16:04,403 --> 00:16:07,105I just had cobbler.

34000:16:07,973 --> 00:16:09,607You know what?

34100:16:09,609 --> 00:16:11,392I'm done with this.

34200:16:12,945 --> 00:16:14,345W-Where areyou going?

34300:16:14,347 --> 00:16:15,947I'm leaving.

34400:16:15,949 --> 00:16:17,532You can't leave.

34500:16:17,534 --> 00:16:18,966I need you.

34600:16:20,819 --> 00:16:23,004You do?

347

00:16:23,006 --> 00:16:24,722Yes.

34800:16:24,724 --> 00:16:26,958You're my ride.

34900:16:28,327 --> 00:16:31,662Sheldon, you either saysomething meaningful

350

00:16:31,664 --> 00:16:35,183and from the heart,or you and I are done.

35100:16:36,802 --> 00:16:38,252All right.

35200:16:39,371 --> 00:16:42,223


28/34

Please.

35300:16:45,094 --> 00:16:47,678Amy...

35400:16:47,680 --> 00:16:50,181when I look in your eyes

35500:16:50,183 --> 00:16:52,383and you're lookingback in mine,

35600:16:52,385 --> 00:16:56,270everything feelsnot quite normal,

35700:16:56,272 --> 00:16:58,806because I feel

35800:16:58,808 --> 00:17:02,660stronger and weakerat the same time.

35900:17:02,662 --> 00:17:08,566I feel excited and,at the same time, terrified.

36000:17:08,568 --> 00:17:10,901The truth is,

36100:17:10,903 --> 00:17:13,838I don't knowwhat I feel, except...

36200:17:13,840 --> 00:17:18,009I know what kind of manI want to be.

36300:17:19,511 --> 00:17:21,345

Sheldon...

36400:17:21,347 --> 00:17:23,181that was beautiful.

36500:17:23,183 --> 00:17:24,348I should hope so.


29/34

36600:17:24,350 --> 00:17:26,734That's from the firstSpider-Man movie.

36700:17:31,473 --> 00:17:34,325I'll take it.

36800:17:35,144 --> 00:17:36,561Good.

36900:17:36,563 --> 00:17:38,946Now, I assumewe're splitting the check?

37000:17:43,285 --> 00:17:44,435Hey, Stuart.

37100:17:44,437 --> 00:17:47,572

Oh, hey. I was actuallyjust about to close up.

37200:17:47,574 --> 00:17:48,906Oh, I'm sorry. I'll leave.

37300:17:48,908 --> 00:17:50,491No, no. It'sokay. Hang out.

374

00:17:50,493 --> 00:17:51,576You sure?

37500:17:51,578 --> 00:17:54,045Yeah, you'remy first customer today.

37600:17:54,047 --> 00:17:56,197All right. Great.

377

00:17:56,199 --> 00:17:57,615I'm, uh, having a nightcap.

37800:17:57,617 --> 00:17:59,116You want to join me?

37900:17:59,118 --> 00:18:00,284What are you drinking?


30/34

38000:18:00,286 --> 00:18:03,287Coffee liqueurin a Chewbacca mug.

38100:18:03,289 --> 00:18:06,140I call it a sad-tini.

38200:18:06,142 --> 00:18:08,726Perfect for the nightI'm having. Thank you.

38300:18:08,728 --> 00:18:11,979Hmm. Nice notto drink alone.

38400:18:11,981 --> 00:18:13,631Amen to that.

38500:18:13,633 --> 00:18:15,316Sometimes I pour

38600:18:15,318 --> 00:18:18,152a little chardonnayinto my dog's water bowl.

38700:18:18,154 --> 00:18:20,321You're kidding.

38800:18:20,323 --> 00:18:23,407She's kind of a mean drunk,but what are you gonna do?

38900:18:23,409 --> 00:18:24,692Cheers.

39000:18:24,694 --> 00:18:26,143Cheers.

39100:18:26,145 --> 00:18:27,912A little music?Sure.

39200:18:31,584 --> 00:18:34,168Mmm. Bossa nova.

393


31/34

00:18:34,170 --> 00:18:37,755You listen to that withyour hips as well as your ears.

39400:18:37,757 --> 00:18:39,156Mmm.

39500:18:40,542 --> 00:18:42,677Oh.

39600:18:42,679 --> 00:18:44,762Something about...

39700:18:44,764 --> 00:18:47,181Latin music justmakes me feel like

39800:18:47,183 --> 00:18:50,268I'm on a white sand beach

in Rio.

39900:18:51,803 --> 00:18:53,137Yeah.

40000:18:53,139 --> 00:18:57,225The sun, the waves,the beautiful bodies,

40100:18:57,227 --> 00:19:00,861

tanned and glisteningwith sweat.

40200:19:15,994 --> 00:19:17,695I should go.Yeah.

40300:19:18,530 --> 00:19:20,831Uh, thank youfor the drink.

40400:19:20,833 --> 00:19:23,334No problem.

40500:19:24,220 --> 00:19:26,170Hey, Stuart.Yeah?

406


32/34

00:19:26,172 --> 00:19:29,390Do you want to...hang out tomorrow night,

40700:19:29,392 --> 00:19:32,059maybe grab a bite to eator catch a late movie?

40800:19:32,061 --> 00:19:35,879Yeah, I-I'd like to,but I'm a little tight on funds.

40900:19:35,881 --> 00:19:37,398No problem. My treat.

41000:19:37,400 --> 00:19:38,983I'll swing by after work.

41100:19:38,985 --> 00:19:40,268

Okay.

41200:19:40,270 --> 00:19:41,902Okay.

41300:19:45,724 --> 00:19:48,609I could do worse.

41400:19:57,304 --> 00:19:58,840Aw, that's such

good news, Howie.

41500:19:58,841 --> 00:20:00,240Thank you for telling her.

41600:20:00,242 --> 00:20:03,360Hey, I'm a grown man;I'm gonna live with my wife.

41700:20:03,362 --> 00:20:07,781

My mother's just gonna haveto learn to make do on her own.

41800:20:07,783 --> 00:20:09,566Was she upset?

41900:20:09,568 --> 00:20:12,936Who can tell?


33/34

She yells everything.

42000:20:14,489 --> 00:20:16,740She might have been upset.

42100:20:16,742 --> 00:20:19,376She might have been hungry.

42200:20:19,378 --> 00:20:21,829Thanks for fixing it.

42300:20:21,831 --> 00:20:23,330I love you.

42400:20:23,332 --> 00:20:24,581I love you, too.

42500:20:24,583 --> 00:20:26,583

Sweet dreams.I'll talk to you tomorrow?

42600:20:26,585 --> 00:20:29,453Good night, Rocket Man.

42700:20:29,455 --> 00:20:32,122To infinity and beyond, baby.

42800:20:34,692 --> 00:20:36,126

Loops.

42900:20:36,128 --> 00:20:38,629You realize you justlied your ass off

43000:20:38,631 --> 00:20:40,731to your wifeand your mother.

431

00:20:40,733 --> 00:20:42,099I know.

43200:20:42,101 --> 00:20:44,218What are you gonna dowhen you get back to Earth?

43300:20:44,220 --> 00:20:45,569


34/34

Oh, I'm never going back.

43400:20:45,571 --> 00:20:49,571corrected byFOLLOW US: @LIO_OFFICIAL

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The Big Bang Theory - 6x01 - The Date Night Variable.en

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Transcript of The Big Bang Theory - 6x01 - The Date Night Variable.en