The Best Dog I Ever Had 9-11-09 ND

8/14/2019 The Best Dog I Ever Had 9-11-09 ND

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This is a sad/happy story. That may sound contradictory but when you consider that people cry atweddings and when babies are born, you realize there is a close line between sad and happy.When I was writing the story, I asked myself, “Why am I writing a sad story.”

I thought about it. I decided that feeling sad or even crying is good for people. We go throughour busy lives hardly ever crying when we should. However, the emotions are suppressed and

build up. Finally, when we cry, we let it out and cleansed.

At such times, we are crying not just for the story but for all the times we should have cried allthrough our lives. I should have cried more in my life on hundreds of occasions (like when my

brother died) but couldn't for may reasons. Sometimes it would have been socially inappropriate behavior. At other times I was too busy or acting too brave, or inhibited and so on. After we cryover a "dog story", after we get over it, then we are new people and are better able to love andexperience a wide range of emotions again.

So remember the story is sad but it will be good for you.

The only note of caution I will express is, "You have taken the cure and are enduring thesymptoms. Your mind is undergoing the cleansing whether you know it or not. You will feel likea new person soon. [I have a feeling you are going to write me and say, "Bullshit, I feel lousy."However I still say it is temporary and good in the long run.]

Again-however I concede that you should wait a while before you read the new story.

I hope to hell I am right. I must be. Why else would Shakespeare, etc. have written really sadtragedies?.

I Cried When I Wrote This

This is Bruce, I want to tell you a story aboutthe best dog I ever had. I will for the most partlet my dog tell the story. It is much moreinteresting from his viewpoint.

This is a sad/happy story. That may soundcontradictory but when you consider that peoplecry at weddings and when babies are born, you

realize there is a close line between sad andhappy. When I was writing this, I asked myself,“Why am I writing a sad story.”

I thought about it. I decided that feeling sad or even crying is good for people. We go throughour busy lives hardly ever crying when weshould. But the emotions are suppressed and



build up. Finally, when we cry, we let it out emotions and cleansed. Then we are new people and are better able to love and experience a wide range of emotions again.

So remember this story is sad but it is good for you.

The Puppy

Well, the story began when I was a 38 years old. I just got married. I had a ranch housei0n the suburbs. All we needed was a dog. Peggy and I were planning on having kidsand I figured having a good dog would be great practice for motherhood and fatherhood.Dogs bring out the best instincts in people - especially the ability to nurture. What kindof dog to get? I had worked for a veterinarian for eight years during high school andcollege. I pretty much liked all dogs but German shepherds were my favorite. Peggyliked the idea so I looked in the classified ads. I found an ad that said:

German Shepherd puppies. Champion lines. Three months old. All shots. $550203-812-0250

I made a phone call and we were on our way.

We drove to a house far out in the suburbs. We talked to the lady who was a professional breeder. She said she breeds her pups carefully choosing the mother and father for temperament, intelligence and looks.

As we walked back to the kennel, she warned us not to pick up any of the puppies because the mother was very protective. Upon stopping in the kennel, we saw a beautifulsight. The mother was lying on her side and six puppies were sucking at her teats. Shelooked at us suspiciously.

We picked out a male sable Shepherd (more brown and less black). He didn't like being

taken away from his mother and was very nervous.We gave the lady a check, shook hands, and he was ours. On the way home he wastrying to crawl all over me and lick my face. It seemed like he was nervous and he felt hecould not get close enough to me. He was licking my face. I guessed he missed hisfamily and needed the reassurance of my affection.

But let me tell you the story as I imagine he would tell it. His name was DJ.

The dog’s name is DJ, This is DJ telling his story as I imagine he would:

I am a very happy puppy. My mother is furry, soft, warm, huge and strong and alwayswatches over me. I feel very safe with her. I have nothing to think about but coziness

and drinking warm milk that makes my stomach feel good. She is with me almost all thetime. Now and then, she goes outside and I feel very nervous. I huddle with my brothersand sisters for comfort when she is gone but I feel a little cold and frightened until shereturns. Sometimes when she is gone, my brothers and sisters just lie down in a big pile

practically on top of each other or we rest our heads on each others backs. Life is grand.

Today was a horrible day that I will never forget. I was all snuggled up next to mymother when the lady who gives my mother food came in the kennel with two other animals who always walk on their back legs. It is kind of scary looking way up at the big



heads of the people. Their feet are big too and seem to be always moving too near me.I’m afraid they are going to step on me. Do they really know we are down there on thefloor and are they be careful?

My owner bent down and picked me up. I suddenly went way up in the air and mystomach felt funny. The world seemed to spin as a big hand swept me through the air Why me? The day before my sister got picked up and carried away. She was squealing

but they ignored her crying. They walked away with her and I haven’t seen her sincethen. All day long today I was waiting for her to come back. I have bad feeling aboutwhat is happening. I can’t imagine how my mother feels. Does she know where her

puppy went?

My owner handed me to the people I had never seen before. I was scared to death. All Iremember seeing is two big faces staring down at me at me. Were they going to bite me?More big hands came at me and I wasn’t sure if the hands were going to hit me or justtouch me. I was getting ready to bite them if I had to. Believe me, my mother waswatching too. She stared at the two new people watching their every move.

They did not hurt me at all. They people talked for a while. The animal with short hair on his head handed my owner something and they held hands for a few moments. Thenext thing I knew they turned their backs on my mother so I couldn't see her anymore andheaded for the door.

Fortunately just before leaving the man who was holding me turned and I had one lastglimpse of my mother. I thought and hoped she was going to come and get me. Shelooked concerned, scared and confused as though she did not know what to do. Shemust've seen me squirming to get away from the hands of man. I'm sure she heard mewhimpering and felt sorry for me.

I looked at my mother’s beautiful face. She was laying half on her side and all the puppies were snuggled up to her and she had to stay put. Her head was raised and shewouldn’t take her eyes off me. I will never forget that last look I had of her. Never. Allmy life I knew whenever I was afraid, I could picture her. She was there somewhere andI knew she would always be there for me to come back to. There was always going to bea furry warm mother somewhere for me to snuggle up to.

But she did not growl.

Why me? Where were they taking me ?

Later I learned that such is a dog's life. People are the bosses. Dogs have no say, noteven when it comes to having their puppies abruptly taken from them.

I will say that the man made an attempt to hold me and pet me as they walked outside.They talked in soothing high-pitched gentle voices but I struggled in vain to get out of their grip on me. At one point I almost managed to jump to the ground but the mancaught me by the neck and wrenched me back in his arms. It hurt and I yelped.

They bent down and crawled into a small room with low ceilings. Then the room seemedto growl and then purr. And then the whole room moved down the black pathway to a

bigger black pathway. I felt sick.



I was scared to death. I was all alone except for them. They were all I had now. Theywere warm and soft and I tried to be near them. I had to make friends with them so theywould not eat me. They keep on talking in gentle voices. I kept on going up on my back legs and licked at their faces the way my mother and my brothers and sisters licked ateach other's faces. The shorthaired one didn't pay too much attention to me. He was

looking straight ahead out the front window and brushed me aside a couple of times.The room we were in kept on going faster and faster and things streaked by so fast Icouldn’t even see what they were. It was horrible. After a while, I got used to the

purring sound of the moving room and calmed down, even to the point where I got a littlesleepy. The animal with long red hair put me in her lap and began petting me. Itreminded me of how my mother licked me. I pushed my nose against her stomach andtried to bury my face.. I didn’t want to see anything. I felt better but I could not stopshivering.

Eventually the room stopped moving. We got out of the room and walked across a hugearea of smooth grass. They carried me up some steps and into something that had lots of

rooms. The two humans sat next to each other and I lie between them. They keep onlooking at me. Their voices were quiet and eventually I felt sleepy. . I was very glad to be sleepy and feel my eyes shut.

When they got off the huge chair, I walked around on the floor. Boy did I have to pee. I peed on a big soft thing that was on the floor.

Well, you would think I did something wrong. The lady jumped at me and made a NOsound loudly. “What was she doing that for?” I wondered. She carried me over to a

piece of paper and put me on it. She looked at me like I was supposed to do something. I just looked at her and wagged my tail. She waited. I tried to walk off the paper and she put me back on it. What was this game she was playing?

The next day was the worst day of my life. They ran around in the morning doing allkinds of strange things and I followed them. At one point each one of them stepped intoa white container and water poured out of the wall. I tried to get in the container withthem but they only laughed at me and wouldn't let me in.

But then they walked out the door. First he left and then she ran out.

I was all alone. For the first time in my life I was totally Alone. I just stood therelooking at the door and waited for them to open it again. I waited. I kept watching thedoor and listening for any sound…. Nothing…

I didn’t ask, “Were they ever going to come back? Was this it?” Why would I ask thatwhen it was obvious that I trapped there for ever all alone? There was no way to get outof there and get back to my mother

I walked over to the door. I saw light at the bottom of the door and I sniffed there. Therewas a smell of outside air. I had to get out. My instinct was to paw at the door like I wasclawing my way out. The door was hard and I was getting nowhere. All I could do wasscratch the door. But I didn't want to die there so I just kept on scratching and scratching.I don't even know how long I was doing that. Then I stopped for a second.



Then I started hearing noises. I wasn’t sure if the noises were near or far. The noisesstarted to seem louder and louder. Who was there it protect me? No one. I lookedaround for a place to hide. I went under a bed but I didn’t feel safe there. Somethingcould attack me from any side.

I thought of the small room with the water that came out of the wall. Perfect! I went inthere. I saw a curtain and pushed it aside with my head. Behind the curtain was a nice

big container that my people sat in with water. But there was no water in it now. I jumped in and prepared to defend myself from whatever might attack me, that is if theycould even find me.

I was scared and shaking. Then I got tired and fell asleep.

Then I heard a boom. It was a door. Dare I go out and see what it was?

No. Not on your life. I heard movement. Footsteps came nearer and nearer. I was sure Iwas going to be dead soon. I could feel my heart pound.

I heard footsteps walking all through the house. Maybe the creature was hungry and was

looking for something to eat. I stayed absolutely still. Something pushed the curtainaside. I heard a happy sound and saw big white teeth. It was the short haired man. I wassaved. I almost went nuts with relief and joy. I wagged my tail so much I peed.

It took a long time before I finally realized that they left in the morning and wentsomewhere but would come back at night.

Speaking of pee, that night I learned that every time I peed or pooped, they would yell“No” and put me on the paper. Would I have to go through the rest of my life like this?It was really kind of annoying. I pictured what a pain it would be to spend the rest of mylife getting yelled at every time I peed or pooped. How would you like that? They peedand pooped sitting on top of a white thing that they sat on but they did not yell at each

other when they did it. Strange.One day I just happened to be on a newspaper when I had to poop. I remember thinkingwell at least they won't have to put me on the paper after pooping because I was alreadythere. Much to my surprise, they ran over to me and just when I thought I should put my

paws over my ears, they started saying, “ Good dog!” And then they petted me and madea big deal of it. I figured maybe from now on it was okay to poop! No more yelling!Why did they change their minds? People certainly were strange.

Later that night before I went to sleep, I pooped on the thing that they called a rug. Andoh no ! Not Again. They yelled. I guess they changed their minds back again! Whatcraziness!

One day when the long-haired redhead was out of the house, the shorthaired man saw melift a leg like I was going to pee on the big chair. He's just about jumped at me and liftedme up and put me on the paper. I had to pee but I was afraid to. Then he unfolded thecloth he wore on his lower part and pulled out something that looked like a finger. Muchto my surprise, he peed a tiny bit on the paper. I don't know what got into me. I justwalked over and smelled his pee and before I knew it, I peed where he did. He made afunny sound that sounded like crying but he looked happy so I don't think he was crying.



He smiled and picked me up and said good dog. Then my mind made a connection. Hecan pee on the paper and so can I! Why didn't he just tell me that a long time ago?

Eventually I saw that he moved the paper outside the house. When I wanted to pee, Iwent to the door and he always let me out. Later on I realized that no matter where I peeoutside he would say good dog.

Our relationship was less puzzling after that. I was no longer condemned to a life of getting yelled at for peeing and pooping.

Things were getting better. They bought me a round thing that rolled. They threw it andwhen it rolled or bounced, it kind of looked like a little animal so I would chase after itand catch it. They always said , “ Now bring me the ball.“ but I had no idea why Ishould bring the ball back to them. To me that game should be that I get the ball and thenthey should chase after me to get it back. I didn't like giving them the ball. What fun wasthat? Eventually I gave in and played their silly game. I tried to train them to chase meand they tried to get me to give them the ball. Oh well. I will admit that now and then, Imade them play the game my way, much to their dislike.

My lady used to take me out for a walk on a leash. One thing that I really liked was that Itrained her to walk next to me. She was pretty good at keeping pace with me andwalking next to me as I wandered around my yard. When she walked next to me andsaid, “Heel,” that was a sign she was catching on. Sometimes I even let her decide wherewe were going to walk. I thought maybe red heads are very trainable and smart and Ithink that is true. They make good pets for dogs. I would tell any dog I know to get a re-head.

The two of them bought me all kinds of things to chew on. My mouth often hurt and Ireally liked chewing because it made my teeth feel better. I had hard rubber or leather mice, balls, rings, and bones.

One day my lady gave me an old shoe to chew on. I really liked that because it had thesmell and taste of her feet. One day, they had a visitor who came in and took off her shoes and put them by the door. Yummy, yummy. I heard a lot of NOs for that one.Actually I didn't like those shoes that much. They were brand-new, hardly worn. anddidn't have much of a good human foot smell. I don't know why they made such a dealof her shoes that didn't even have a good smell to them yet. Boy was she mad though.Their visitor gave me dirty looks whenever my owners weren’t looking. I would muchrather chew Bruce’s shoes that have a nice salty sweat taste.

Life just got better and better. I learned the names of my so-called owners. The man wasBruce and woman was Peggy.

They got to like me more and more and I got to love them more and more. I trained themto come when I barked. Peggy bought me all kinds of presents. She talked to me like Ihave seen women talk to babies in baby talk.

She bought me a doggie bed that was round and soft. The bad part was that they stoppedallowing me to sleep on their bed with them at night. The good part was how Brucesettled me into my bed every night. He always walked me to my bed. I would lie downand he would sit on the floor next to me and pat me and say, ”Good dog. You are a



champion. You are the best dog I ever had.” He had a great knack for knowing just howto rub my ears which were often kind of itchy. Then he gently put his hand on my headover my eyes and gently push the loose skin of my forehead forward so that in effect myeyes were forced shut. With my eyes comfortably shut, I just listened to his soothingvoice and fell asleep. That was the life.

One bad thing was that we lived on a very busy road with cars speeding past. They never let me out on my own. The good part of that was that Bruce took me on walks three or four, sometimes even five times a day. We had acres of woods in back of the house thatwe could walk around.

Bruce never put me on a leash. He would walk with me but let me roam around in thewoods. When I walked in the woods, I felt like I could be myself. I could just be a dogand do dog things. I could smell all kinds of things in the woods. There were animalsmells all over. Once I saw a rabbit and chased after it. I could have caught it but I let itrun away because I didn’t know what I would do with it if I caught it. I just wasn’t thetype who liked to bite anything.

The three of us were very happy.One day I noticed that Peggy was looking very different. She had a huge belly. I tried tonotice if she was eating more than usual but she wasn't. She spent less time at work andmore time at home with me.

One day she and Bruce left very early in the morning. Bruce came back but I didn't seePeggy for a couple of days. When she arrived, she was carrying a new tiny creature withred hair just like hers. I looked at the tiny baby. I looked at Peggy. I smelled the baby. Ismelled Peggy. Yep, it was a little Peggy. She made a copy of herself. Not very big but itwas a pretty good copy.

After that I didn't get as much attention as before. But that was all right because I lovedthe baby too. We dogs can have fatherly instinct too. I also enjoyed watching the threeof them. They were very happy.

After all, I was a grown dog and not a puppy anymore. I enjoyed my afternoon naps likeany other good dog. That game with the ball that they played was getting a little old. Imean there were times when they would bring me outside and throw the ball and I would

just sit there. They would look at me with surprise and say, “Well get the ball.”

If I could talk I would've said, “Get it yourself. I’m tired.”

Bruce and I still had our five walks in the woods every day. I still enjoyed that. It wasour time and it was a good time.

I could tell they were afraid that, being such big dog, I might hurt the baby. At first,when I went near the baby they screamed, ”Watch out. DJ,” and jumped up and movedthe baby. What did they think, that I was stupid or something? We dogs don’t go aroundstepping on our puppies or their babies. I was a calm dog and was always careful,especially when the baby started crawling around on the floor. Later the baby startedwalking and liked to walk over to me. If I walked past the baby, I was careful not to

bump into her and knock her off her feet. I let her poke me in the face and pull my ears



and tail. If she got to be too much I gave her a big wet lick and she would move away. Iwas a model dog. Bruce and Peggy eventually trusted me completely.

It was around this time that Bruce started calling me a champion. I always seemed toknow how to behave. If they had a party, they could put food on the coffee table rightdown at my level and I would not even look at it. Of course the reason I didn't look at itwas is that if I looked at it, I would for sure gobble it all up. However they didn't knowthat. If someone knocked at the door, I would bark and growl and jump at the door sofiercely that no one uninvited would dare to come in. But after a guest was let in thehouse, I always sniffed their pants a little to get to know them and then sat calmly.

Back to Me – This is Bruce speaking

Everything was going fine for about four years. Then came the beginning of the end. Myfather broke his hip and Peggy, my four year old daughter, Maurade and I all moved tomy father's house. Peggy hated the house, the old furniture, the faded worn rug, the

décor in general. Peggy and my father did not get along. They argued and often I wascaught in the middle. Thus began a cycle of tension that led to the decision to move outof my father's house. Ultimately that tension grew and grew and destroyed our relationship.

So after a year we moved out of my father’s house and into our own, a fairly large houseon an acre of land on a dead-end street. After a second child was born – a boy we namedRoss - we got really busy.

Things still went well for a while. The kids loved DJ. I’ll never forget the night theydecided to slide down the stairs on the crib mattress! They put the mattress at the top of the stairs as if it was a sled and then slid down the stairs. DJ jumped on the mattress withthem. They thought it was thy funniest thing. The three of them and the mattress woundup in a big pile at the bottom of the stairs – all laughing hysterically.

Gradually Peggy got more and more involved in raising the kids to the point where I hadto take over everything else. She was really stressed out. She was attempting to work full time and be a mother too. She spent a lot of time chauffeuring the kids around.Maurade who was about five years old had ballet lessons and ballet practice. Peggy alsohad her take violin lessons though Maurade hated it.

With Peggy so busy, I had to do all the shopping, cleaning, laundry, paying bills, mowingthe lawn, painting the house, doing dishes, cooking - pretty much everything.

I was often depressed. I was constantly exhausted – so tired that I almost fell asleep on

the way to work. I remember one night with the kids. I used to treasure the time withthem but I was so tired, it was difficult just staying awake when I read to them.

Around that time, Peggy decided it would be great for the kids to have their own puppy. Iknew what that would mean. I would be the one who would have to take care of the dogand clean up after the dog.

With that in mind I begged her, “Please don't get another dog. You know I am going tohave to clean up after the dog and I just can't do anymore than what I'm doing.”



She bought the dog anyway.

Sure enough when the dog peed and pooped, she left the mess there for me to clean up. Itold her the location of the messes so she could clean them up. She resented my notcleaning up and left those stinking messes on the floor. This was a constant aggravationto me especially in my exhausted condition. We started arguing more and more aboutthis and then about lots of other little things. It seemed the romance was over We started arguing about many things. She decided she wanted a divorce. She thought itwas bad for the kids to see their parents arguing. I was against divorce. I thought that itwas better for kids to have two parents who argued rather than one parent in the home.My parents used to argue all the time but they stayed together for the sake of my brother,sister and me. I loved them both and though the arguing did bother me, I was glad tohave both of them around. I can't imagine what life would have been like without thetwo of them. The funny thing was that despite the arguing they did love and take care of each over.

After the divorce, I had to pay $900 in child support and did not make enough money to pay for my own apartment. My sister offered to let me stay at her house in an extra bedroom for practically nothing. Only problem was - I could not bring DJ with me. Itwas nice enough of her to offer to take me in and to ask her to also take my dog wasunreasonable.

Peggy gave me a deadline.

“I want you out of here by April 1 st.”

I had to leave our house to go to my sisters on April 1, April Fools' Day. I packed theabsolute necessities that I would need for two weeks and figured I would come back for the rest every weekend when I came to pick up the kids for weekend visits. I had a verylarge old Lincoln town car. I filled it up with mostly clothes and the types of things onewould take on a two-week vacation.

As usual, on the night of my departure, I read stories to Maurade and Ross with butstopped reading earlier than usual at 8:00 PM in order to make it to my sisters at 9:30.

I wrote the following poem that night before I went to bed at my sister’s.

April 1995

Here I am divorced at age 52

I usually read to Ross and Maurade until 9 PM but I stopped at 8:00 because I had it finish packing and go to my new “home “ at my sister’s.

I was at the door between the family room and the garage

when Ross who was four years old came down with a book.

He stood in the doorway blocking my path.

He said, “ Read me another story.”

I said, “I can’t. I have to go to my sister’s.”

He said, “ Are you re-vorced.”



“Yes” I said, ”I have to go to Maureen’s house to live. I will see you nextweekend.”

“Can I go with you?” he asked

I replied, ”No, you have school tomorrow.”

“I don’t like school anyway I want to go with you, ”Ross said.“Does that mean you aren’t going to read to me in bed anymore.?”

There was a silence because I could not talk.

“I will read to you every weekend when you come to my sister’s “ Imanaged to say. I tried to get past him.

He clung to my pants.

When I continued walking, he let go.

He then followed me around like a little puppy dog

While I packed he talked the whole time.

He wouldn’t go inside though it was chilly.

He said, ”I want to wait until you leave.”

Finally, I got in the car.

I was exhausted from carrying things to the car.

Ross was right outside the car door.

Go in the house, Ross. It’s cold out here.”

“I want to watch you leave.”

“Stand back. I have to back out,” I said.

He took a couple off steps backwards, not taking his eyes off me.

He had a sad serious look, almost like anger.

He stood and watched the car back up.

Then he came running.

I thought of trying to backup quickly, throwing the car in drive and takingoff fast but I could just picture him running down the street after mecrying.

I stopped the car.

This was not an appropriate time to get angry.

I had to be gentle.

I said, “ Okay, I'll walk you upstairs to your room. I want you to look outthe window and wave to me when I leave… Okay?”

I bent down and picked him up and carried him up the stairs.



When I got back to the car,

I saw my poor dog DJ watching me.

He must have sensed something.

When I went to get into the car,

he tried to scoot past me to get in.

I caught him by the collar and dragged him back

He gagged a little.

I felt bad that I might have hurt him.

“Sorry DJ. You can’t go.”

He just looked at me.

“Not that it made any sense,” I thought, but

he understood less than anyone.As I pulled onto the street, I saw Maurade and Ross leaning out

and watching and waving from the window.

Someone had taught Maurade how to blow kisses and she did it in herchildlike way.

If it weren't so sad, I would have thought it was cute.

She shouted, “Bye daddy -- I love you.”

Ross said what I always said to him before leaving his room for the night,

“Sleep tight: don’t let the bed bugs bite. I love you.”I looked over at the lawn and saw DJ had run over to the hill of the frontyard to watch my car for as long as it was in sight.

He turned his head, slowly following the car.

I tooted the horn as I drove away,

towing a trailer with my meager possessions.

I felt like sobbing but I knew that I could not drive if I started crying.

I gripped the wheel hard and stared at the road.

I thought - and so it has come to this…after eight years and two children it has come to this…

I never thought it would come to this

Here is what happened from DJ’s viewpoint.

Something funny is happening.



Bruce is putting things in his car the way he does just before the family goes away anddoesn’t come back for a while. But this time he is not putting any of the kid’s things inthe car, and Peggy is not putting her things in the car. The car is completely filled withthings. He even attached a trailer to the back of the car and filled that.

He is acting very funny. He talked to me in a gentle way as though he was trying to saysomething. He had tears in his eyes. Something bad is happeningI don’t like it when he goes away.

I tried to get in the car when he was leaving. He had to drag me out by the collar. I knowI wasn’t supposed to fight him but I braced myself against the seat and wouldn’t budge.He jerked my collar really hard and I let out a yelp. I finally gave in when my neck hurtso bad I couldn’t stand it. Bruce was nice to me after that as though he was sorry he hurtme. It was OK though – It was my fault.

When he pulled down the driveway, I ran over to the hill overlooking the road to watchthe car leave. Bruce waved to the kids and shouted I love you.

As he pulled away, I could see him turn his head toward me.I thought, ”I am going to wait outside on the front lawn tonight until he comes back. Iwill sit up on the hill where I can see his car lights coming back. I can always tell when itis his car. I know the sound of the car.”

As the night grew darker and colder, I felt very alone. I thought of the times when he andI would sit outside at night together just before bedtime.

I was thinking, ”Usually when he goes away in the morning, he comes back at night. Iwill be here tomorrow night waiting for him to return.”

When it got late Peggy let the beagle out to pee before bed. Stupid dog – he probably

already peed in the house just like he always did. Once outside, he ran around like anidiot with his nose in the air barking constantly.. Then Peggy came to the door and calledhim. I headed to the door also. I figured if Bruce wasn't there, I would sleep in one of the kid’s rooms. The beagle ran in with me right behind him.

Peggy let him in but blocked my entry by positioning her knee between the half opendoor and the door jam. As I tried to go in the door, she got me good by wedging my neck against the door frame.

She said, “No, DJ ! Out!”

As always, I obeyed and turned toward the dark night. I walked over to the middle of thefront yard and sat down where I had been sitting when Bruce left. It was bad enough thatBruce left but what now?I heard voices inside the house. I usually liked being outside at night but somehow thesky seemed bigger and darker and I felt very small. I wanted to go in and sleep in my

bed next to Bruce just as I always had. I wanted Bruce to kneel down next to my bedand pet my head and rub my ears, saying in a soft voice over and over, “Such a good dog.You’re the best dog. Good dog. Sleep tight, good dog.” Over and over he always said



that until I felt very sleepy. He always seemed to know when I was half asleep and thenhe would slip into bed and I would know he was there. It was such a good feeling.

I heard a car coming up the road and I turned my ears in the direction of the sound. Wasit Bruce? As the car came nearer, I knew the sound was not the quiet rumble of Bruce’scar.

He wasn’t going to come back tonight…..maybe tomorrow night. But why did he take somuch stuff with him and leave so late at night? The whole world was different now and Ididn’t like it. I felt totally alone in the world. I thought of my mother and my brothersand sisters. That was a nice feeling too. I wondered if they were still back at their houseand if I could go there. I looked up the road and felt like just trotting off but I had no ideawhere they were. Anyway I wanted to wait for Bruce

At that point I heard the garage door open. I thought, “Oh goody. She is letting me gointo the house in through the garage door.” I ran to the garage just in time to see her throw my round shaped doggie bed onto the cement floor. I caught a glimpse of her andthen the door slammed.

We dogs are a domesticated lot. All the anger was bred out of us. When insulted or beaten, we just say, “Yes sir” or, “yes ma'am.” Then we wag our stupid tails like idiotsand pretend to be happy. But times like this were trying. Some instinct in the past welledup within me and I could picture how it would taste if I could just bite the calf of her leg.It would be just a little bite. I wouldn't want to hurt her badly but the idea of a nice neatrow of slightly red marks on her white skin appealed to me.

I knew I could not allow myself to think that way. Humans have ways of dealing withdogs who do such things. They take you for a ride in the car and you never come back.Then they tell the kids that they found a home for you on a farm.

The next day, when I sensed that it was time for Bruce to return home from wherever hegoes most days, I stationed myself on the hill overlooking the road listening for his car. Iheard a couple of cars that sounded like his but when the cars came around the curve -not him. It got dark. I thought maybe he was getting home late. I kept waiting.

The food situation was getting bleak. Most nights Peggy would place a sparse helping of dry dog food in the bowl on the garage floor. Sometimes that noisy crazy Beagle wouldeat some of my food. I thought of growling at him but he was too stupid to get themessage. Nothing short of a dog fight would work. And then - Off to the farm I wouldgo.

Sometimes Peggy would forget to feed me and I hated that. I would stay up all nightthinking of food and if I was lucky enough to fall asleep, I would dream of food. In thesedreams, Bruce would make his special recipe for me. Sometimes he would cook chickenlivers and rice. It was fantastic. Anyway in the dream, I just kept on eating and eatingand no matter how much I ate, I was still starving.

Water was the same problem. I would lick my water dish until it was dry. Sometimes Iwould use the trick I used when I wanted more water. I would sit right next to my empty

bowl and figure that someone would notice I was in need of something. But Peggy wasoblivious and so were the kids. (Ross was four and Maurade was eight so I kind of



expected that.) At least with the water, I could go around and search for puddles. Thatwasn't too pleasant though because most of the puddles were in the road and the water smelled funny and tasted like black oil.

Since we dogs don't count numbers, I do not know how many days Bruce was away. Butone day, from my position on the hill in the front yard, I heard a car just like Bruce's. Myeyes were half open because I had just about given up and then - sure enough - it washim. It was early in the afternoon and the kids were playing in the front yard.

When they saw his car, they did their usual routine. They ran to the road. Bruce stoppedthe car and rolled down the windows. They dove in and drove around the block.

Then the car pulled in the driveway. When Bruce got out, I was hoping that he wouldnotice me right away. I knew I just would not be able to take it if he just ran past meheading for the kids swing. He always pushed the kids on the swing as soon as he camehome.

He got out of the car and saw me. He knelt down on the ground, held out his arms, and

said, “Co’mere DJ.” He still remembered me and loved me! He petted and hugged meand I felt so good and happy. I was wagging my tail so much my whole back end wasswinging. I kind of knocked him over from his kneeling position and he wound up sittingon the ground with me in his lap over exuberantly licking his face so much that helaughed. He said, “Poor dog, DJ, did you miss me?”

If he only knew how much I missed him, it would break his heart.

As expected he swung the kids on the very high swing he had made by hanging two ropesfrom a maple branch 40 feet up the tree.

Later when they came through the garage to go into the house, I ran over to my emptywater and food dishes. I knew that there was no food or water in the dishes, so I ran there

hoping he would notice. Sure enough he did.He got two very big buckets. He filled one to the top with water and one to the top withfood. He wanted to make sure that I would have enough food and water for at least mostof the week. He begged Peggy and even the kids to make sure the buckets were alwaysfilled with food and water.

Then Bruce noticed that my doggie bed was in the garage. He walked in the house withme and the kids. Peggy immediately grab me by the collar, led me to the door, openedthe door and pushed my rear end out the door. Things got very loud after that especiallyto my sensitive ears. But nothing changed. I guess she was the sole boss of the housenow.

I heard her say, ”He is your dog, not mine. You buy his food. I’m not paying for it.”That hurt me. Since when did she divorce me? Why do people act so strange and screamlike that?

Then much to my disappointment, he had the kids gather some clothes and a few toys and put them in the car. Then they drove away. What ? I only saw him for a little while.Why couldn't they take me? Where were they going?



I was stuck at home alone with Peggy even though I was not her dog. I drank plenty of water and ate plenty of food, but I was so sad. I went to my spot in the front yard and justlie there like I was dead. I did not even have the pleasure of hearing happy children'slaughter and voices inside the house that night.

That night the air was brisk. The moon was out and the stars were bright. I had a strongdesire to do something that I had heard my father do. I howled at the moon. I put myhead way back and pointed my nose was straight up at the sky and let out a long sadhowl. It made me feel better. I felt like my mother could hear me and maybe my father and maybe even my sisters and brothers.

“How do you like that?” I thought to myself looking up at the light in the window.

Guess what? She didn't like it.

The window opened.. Peggy shoved her head out and screamed, “Shut up, DJ.”

I never knew a dog as mean as her. I couldn't talk words but I had an answer for her. Iwaited a while hoping she would be half-asleep. Then I let out the longest and loudest

howl I could muster.I did it a few more times until I got bored.

Sometimes people think we dogs are really dumb. But we have our ways.

I waited all night that night and the next night for the kids and Bruce to come back butthey did not come back until the third night. I only got to see Bruce for a little while.Before he left, we played the ball game that I trained him to play. I was nice. I didn'tmake him chase me. I brought the ball back to him every time.

This all seem to go on and on week after week. Bruce would come. The kids would getin the car and disappear for a few days and then come back.

The kids kept on getting bigger and bigger so though I could not count the days I think alot of time passed. I DO know the weather turned cold. Sometimes I slept in the garage

but many nights I slept in the front yard and waited for Bruce. If it was very cold, I likedthe garage. One time when Peggy was not around Bruce put a heating pad under my bedand plugged it into the wall. After that at least one side of me was warm.

I walked around the neighborhood and tried to find someone to be with. I do not knowwhy but people seem to be afraid of me. Maybe it is because I am so big. I once walkedup to some children playing in their front yard. They did not seem to be afraid of me buta man came out of the house and screamed,” Go away. Get out of here!”

I just looked at him and wondered why he was acting that way. He picked up a stone andthrew it at me. It did hit me but it didn't hurt me very much.I just walked away and spent more time than ever walking in the woods and fields aroundthe neighborhood. I mean; I have a dog's life and that's good and bad. I could have agreat time just exploring the woods and just seeing it, hearing it, and smelling it. Humanshave two worlds, one of sight and one of sounds. I had an extra one, the world of millions of interesting smells.



I did have good days and bad days but fortunately I am a dog and not a human. I couldnot really get depressed. I did not think things like, “ Oh my life is so depressing.” Ididn't really think about whether I was happy or not. I was not in the habit of countingdays. I did not spend all my time thinking of past days or days that might come in thefuture. But there was a constant emptiness in my heart. I wanted someone to love.

Later..A lot has happened. We moved to a smaller town that is even more in the country. Thereis a pond down the street and a small stream across the road. Now whenever I am thirstyI can go to a pond or the stream and drink water that tastes good. It is difficult in thewinter when the pond freezes up. I can usually find some water near the beginning of the

pond that hasn't frozen.

Something else is new. Peggy got another dog. He is a brown Labrador retriever. Thedog is very lively and very cute. But he is almost totally about love ,with a tiny bit of intelligence. He is a really wild dog. When the kids let him out he runs around andaround the lawn going nowhere particular, sometimes in circles. He is not at all obedient.He doesn't come when he is called. If the kids or anyone are holding food, he jumps andgrabs it out of their hands. He even bites them out of stupidity in the process. If theyhold food out for him, he goes for it and winds up biting their hands. But he is friendly tothe extreme and it so lovable that they forgive him no matter what he does.

The funny part is. Here I am - perfectly obedient and a good dog and I have to sleepoutside or in the garage, and this crazy dumb dog gets to go inside the house and sleep ina nice warm bed. The Beagle is a extremely friendly but totally untrained. When Peggylet this him out at night, he barks constantly and is so loud that the neighbors complainedan animal control police officers came here. Now when she lets him, she has to put amuzzle over his mouth and nose so that he can open his mouth to bark. Also Peggy never

could stop him from peeing and pooping in the house so she leaves the basement door open and the beagle pees and poops down there. I wouldn't mind but that is where I haveto sleep… and it stinks! To make things worse, Peggy doesn't even clean up that mess.Bruce has to clean it up on weekends so it stinks most of the time.

Later

More time has gone by. Where my fur was black is now speckled with gray. No onecombs me and my hair is matted in places. The kids are still totally enthused about thetwo new dogs. They play with the two younger dogs and don't pay much attention to meat all. One time Maurade threw a ball and I fetched it. But she was playing with the lab.She yelled, “No DJ.” Then she pointed to the distance and said, “Sit down.” I just

walked to the side and lay down with my head on the ground and watched them play. Ifelt so useless. Why didn't anyone like me anymore? I tried to be good. I know I am agood dog but no one likes me anymore.

There are no other dogs in the neighborhood. One night I tried it be friends with ananimal I saw in the front yard. It was kind of cute - a fairly big black animal with a whitestripe down his back. He had a big fluffy tail. I ran over to him and just as we dogsalways do, I shoved my nose up to him to check him out. Bad idea. I got sprayed with astink like you would not believe. It burned my eyes and made me smell so much I could



hardly stand myself. At first I tried to run away from the smell but no matter where Iwent the smell went with me. That night Peggy locked me out of even the garage.

I am feeling old. My bones are always sore and I can't get around like I used to. My back hurts a lot around the area of my back legs and it seems like I can't run like I usedto. I have a hard time walking around especially when it is snowing or when the groundis icy. When I walk to the pond to get water, my back legs hurt a lot.I am alone in this world except when Bruce comes to pick up the kids to take them for theweekend.

Back to Bruce

Peggy, my kids and the dogs live in Wilton about 30 miles from my house. I don't getdown to their side of the County too often.

However one wintry January morning I had a doctors appointment in Wilton.I had some extra time before I had to be at work. I was thinking DJ is really getting oldnow and I really feel sorry for him. He was getting old and I was afraid that I detectedthat he seemed to be getting a congenital condition that affected his hips and spine.German shepherds in particular are susceptible to this disease.

I decided to drive to the house to check on him, make sure he had enough food and water and be with him for a while. I was always coming and going when I was with the kidsand I knew we would both enjoy being together alone. It had snowed a few times in thelast week and the ground was covered with a foot of snow. We could not go for a walk inthe woods but we could walk together on the road.

After I pulled into the driveway, I saw him walking across the snow in the front yardtowards me. I was shocked. He was soaking wet and caked in ice. I thanked God thatsomehow I was there to help him.

I could not believe the timing of my arrival. It was unbelievable that somehow I had picked this day and had arrived just at the exact moment when he needed me more thanhe ever had. I swear to God this is a true story and it happened just as I am describing it.It was totally unlikely but it happened

Despite the pain he must have been in, he approached me wagging his tail oblivious tohis condition. He was shivering.

I pet him saying, “What happened, DJ? Did you fall through the ice on the pond? Comein the garage - I will dry you off.“

I dried him off with towels and put a warm blanket over him.

A few minutes later, a police car pulled up the driveway and stopped right outside thegarage. When I opened the door, I saw it was the town animal control officer.

He said, “ We had a report that there was a dog caked in ice walking in the road. I sawdog prints across the yard.”



“Yes, it's my dog. He must have fallen through the ice on the pond. I am drying him off and warming him up now. He’ll be all right.”

“Dogs are not supposed to be running loose. He should be in the house or on a leash being walked. Can I see the dog ?” he asked.

“Sure I said.”The officer came and the garage and saw DJ.

“How old is he?” he asked.

“He’s about 11 years old, “I said.

“Old dog like that shouldn’t be allowed to roam around on cold day like this. Should bein the house.”

I made up some excuse as to why he was roaming free that day and I assured him that Iwould take care of him and dry him off and warm him up.

I sat next to DJ and had a lot of thinking to do. I just couldn't allow this type of thing tohappen again. DJ stopped shivering and I thought it would be good if he got outside andwalked around to get his blood circulating to get warm. I also wanted to check to see if he was able to walk alright.

I said, “ Come on, DJ. Let's go outside.”

When he attempted to stand up, I could tell he was having a hard time controlling his rear end. From years of working for the veterinarian, I had seen this condition in Germanshepherds often. It was a congenital defect common in shepherds.

Once outside, I opened the trunk of the car and found a ball that I always carried aroundto throw to him when I visited. I stood in front of him and asked, “ Want to play ball?”

He lowered his head and readied his front legs as though ready to spring in either direction depending on which way I threw the ball. I threw it to his right. His front feet

propelled him in that direction but his back legs kind of collapsed and he had to pullhimself back up to go in the direction of the ball.” He limped back to me with the ball.

I thought I had better bring him to the veterinarian to have her check him out.

“Want to go in the car?” I asked. His ears stood up and he looked alert. He headed to thecar. When I opened the side door, he propelled his front feet to the seat and attempted to

push with his back feet to hop into the car. He couldn't do it. I had to lift his rear end andswing him into the front seat.

I will let him tell the rest of the story.

This is the way I imagine DJ would tell the story:

I sure am an old dog now. I was thirsty and headed for the pond to get some water. Thesnow was deep and I had a hard time walking across it. My back end hurt like crazy.

When I got to the pond I saw the whole pond was frozen. I walked around the pondtoward where the stream trickled in. Next thing I knew, I fell through the ice. The water was so cold, it was a shock and I could hardly breathe. I pawed at the ice to climb back



up and the ice just broke again. I kept on moving forward trying to make it out the water.Finally I got to a spot where I could feel the bottom of the pond. I had to break throughthe ice to get to the shore. At that point I felt so weak that I felt like I could not move.But I had to. If I could only make it to the garage, I figured I would be alright.

I could not even feel my legs and paws. My ears stung with cold. Along the road a car stopped and someone looked out the window at me and then kept going.I started walking across the snow in the front yard toward the garage when I could not

believe my eyes. I saw Bruce's car in the driveway and then I saw him next to the car.This was too good too be true. I knew somehow I was going to be safe and warm soon.Bruce always took care of me.

He brought me into the garage dried me off, wrapped me in a blanket, and warmed meup. Then he called me to go outside. He got a ball from his car. Whenever I saw a ball, Ifelt like a puppy again. I lowered my head bracing myself to run to the right or the left.When I saw the ball go to my left, I sprung in that direction. My front legs moved allright but my back legs couldn't push me off in that direction. I pulled myself up, movedmore slowly and carefully got the ball. Bruce looked at me kind of funny. Was hedisappointed by the way I almost fell over? I wished I hadn’t been so clumsy. Why was Iso clumsy all of a sudden. I was really sorry and I waited for him to throw the ball again.

But Bruce just looked at me and put the ball in his pocket. Was he disappointed in methat I wasn't as fast as I was when I was a puppy. I wish I could say. “Throw it again.. I'lldo better next time.”

But then he said, “Want to go in the car?” I liked that idea. I hadn't been in the car withhim for a long time.

We drove for a long time and then pulled up to a big white building. It was theveterinarian’s office. I thought, “ Oh no. I am going to get stuck with a needle just likealways.”

Bruce talked to the veterinarian lady for a long time. He lifted me onto the table and theveterinarian felt my back and my back legs. She looked carefully at my paws.

She talked in a quiet sad voice. Bruce looked really strange. Tears were dripping downhis face and when I licked the tears, he got worse and he made funny sounds like he waslaughing but I know he wasn’t laughing. He acted like he couldn’t talk and theveterinarian had to wait for him to be able to speak again. I felt like I did somethingwrong. What was wrong with me?

This is Bruce again

I explained to the veterinarian what had happened that morning. I told her about DJ'sweak rear end and how he seemed to have trouble controlling his back legs. She felt hisspine, his hips and his legs. She looked at his paws. The front of his nails had scratcheson them. She explained that he apparently had the congenital defect I was worried about.The scratches on the front of his nails indicated that he was having trouble lifting his

paws when he walked. He was dragging his back legs because he had trouble lifting the



legs when he walked. She said he could probably get along for a while but not for verylong. It was just a matter of time.

I explained how my ex-wife would not let him in the house and that he spent a lot of timeoutside in the cold and snow. The veterinarian said that he needed to be in a house andwalked on a leash when outside. She said under those circumstances, he was bound tohave problems with cold, snow and ice. She said in any circumstances it was only amatter of time until he would be in bad pain and unable to walk.

I tell you this in a matter-of-fact way but it was hardly that way. Once she threw out afancy medical term and said that he would not be able to walk for long, I felt my throattighten and close as though someone had a rope around my throat and was tightening it. Ihad trouble talking and had to stop and try to pull myself together. Of course when I triedto speak I just started crying. Poor DJ didn't know what was going on and was feelingsorry for me and trying to lick my tears. The veterinarian put her hand on my shouldersand said, “I know…. It is hard…”

“What would you do if he were your dog?” I finally asked.

“He doesn’t have much time. He is probably in pain now and it is only going to getworse. If someone were there to watch him – to walk him - it might be OK. But tohave him be alone all the time, he is eventually going to….” She hesitated.

I said, “ I am really afraid that if I bring him back, sooner or later he is going to fallthrough ice on the pond again or fall in the snow or slip on the ice or and just lie thereand freeze to death. It's not like there is anyone home to take care of him. I think for himthe best thing to do is to put him to sleep.”

The veterinarian had to wait a while before I could talk again. “I want to bring him back

out to the car and go to a hamburger place and buy him a good lunch. Then I’ll come back…”

At this point, I could tell that the veterinarian was struggling to remain the composed professional.

“Want to go to the car? “ I asked DJ. He perked up.

On the way out, I knew I had to summon all my strength and make this a good experiencefor DJ. I didn't know how I was going to do it but I was determined.

I tried to just concentrate on the present moment, not look back and feel sad at what usedto be, and what was lost, and certainly not to think of what was going to happen.

I went to a good hamburger place and bought three double hamburgers to go. I drovedown to the local beach and parked overlooking the water. I broke off pieces and gavethem to DJ who ate them hungrily and seemed to enjoy them immensely.

Then I rode back to the vet’s and walked back in with DJ. DJ always got nervous being placed on the examining table so I asked if I could sit Indian style on the floor and holdDJ while she gave him the injection into his heart.



At this point a scenario popped into my head. Over the eight years that I had worked for aveterinarian I had seen numerous dogs put to sleep. The way I remembered it theveterinarian would stick a needle into the dog’s chest. The vet would then inject ananesthetic into the dog’s heart. Then the dog would become more and more peacefulover the period of a minute and then would fall asleep. I figured I would pet DJ and talk

soothingly to him and say goodbye. I wanted it to be just like when he went to sleep inhis doggie bed when he was a younger dog.

I had DJ lay down with his head in my lap. I just petted his head and rubbed his ears justlike when I put him to bed when he was a young dog. I said over and over, ”Good dog.You are a champion. You are the best dog I ever had.” I held my hand over the looseskin on his forehead and pushed it over his eyes effectively shutting his eyes just likewhen he was a young dog and I was putting him to bed.

The vet put the needle into his heart, I could see blood flow backward into the syringe.

Then she squeezed the syringe and the contents went into his body. I thought he wouldrelax more and more for a minute and then die. I was prepared to keep on talking to himand say goodbye but all his muscles relaxed and he went limp.He did so quickly. I wanted to pet him for a while and say goodbye but before I knew ithe was dead.

I couldn’t talk. I just headed for the door. The two vet technicians were in the waitingroom. They looked at me but said nothing. They looked away as if they were signalingthat they did not expect me to say anything.

Let me let DJ tell you what happened.

This is DJ:

Bruce took me to a big white building. I recognized it right away. It was the house of thelady with the stinging needle. Bruce lifted me up on the examining table. Theveterinarian felt all the bones in my back, hips and legs. All the while Bruce was talkingto the veterinarian, I was figuring that this visit was going to be like all the other visits tothe vet. She would stick a needle in my rear leg. It would sting and then we would be onour way home.

But this was very strange. The veterinarian and Bruce kept on talking and talking. Theveterinarian kept on feeling my bones and pointing to my hips. I was staring at Bruce'sface while they were talking. I could see tears streaming down his face and I licked thetears. Sometimes Bruce acted like he was trying to talk but nothing was coming out of his mouth.

And then to my surprise, Bruce said to me, “Do you want to go to the car?”

What - No needle? Sure I wanted to go to the car.

Bruce drove to a big building. A girl opened a window and asked something. The nextthing I knew I could smell some awfully good smelling food.



I figured this would be the same old thing - Eat in front of dogs and gave them a fewscraps. Oh well…

Bruce drove the car down to the beach that he used to take me to when I was young. Wegot out of the car and walked to where the water makes noise on the sand. Then we went

back to the car.

Bruce opened the bag of food and this time was different. He didn't eat anything. He just broke off pieces of meat and gave them to me. It was such a surprise. I never had such agood meal in all my life. This was the greatest! My stomach felt nice and full and I felt

peacefully tired.

We got back in the car and instead of driving home Bruce drove back to the veterinarian building. I thought to myself I guess Bruce realized that she forgot to stick my back legwith a needle. When we got into the building, the vet asked Bruce a question and hestarted to answer and again he acted like he could not talk.

They led me into the room with the table that they always put me on. But another surprise ! Bruce sat on the floor and pulled me down toward him like he wanted me to liedown in his lap. He pulled my head to his lap. I was kind of tired. He patted my headand talked to me the same way as when he put me to bed when I was a young dog.

It was kind of strange - him sitting on the hard floor with my head in his lap. I think Iwas tired because I was so cold earlier in the day and now I was inside a building now,not outside. It was so warm and I was feeling full and cozy with my head in Bruce’s lap.I was hoping we would stay there for a long time.

It was such a horrible day but I was really lucky that he happened to be there when I fellthrough the ice. Now I was afraid to go on without him. I did not want to leave him ever again. I didn’t ever want to go through any more horrible experiences like that cold, coldwater and that ice that froze and caked on my fur.

I felt for sure that Bruce was going to take care of me forever now. Every day he would buy me hamburgers and every night he would put me to sleep with gentle soft soundingwords. Things were going to be the best ever.

I saw the veterinarian bend down with the stinging needle in her hand. That was all Iwould have to put up with. One little stinging needle and we would be out of there.Then I figured, when Bruce brought me home and then threw the ball again for me tofetch, I would do better. I would not disappoint him ever again. No more stumbling…

It was going to be a new life from now on – no more being alone in a stinging cold basement, no more falling through the ice, no more struggling to walk through the snow.

I wouldn’t let the pain in my back slow me down. I would ignore it.Bruce had his hand on my forehead and my eyes were shut. I could hear his voice softlysaying, ”Good dog. You are a champion. You are the best dog I ever had.”

I felt the sting of the needle. Then, I felt all my tense muscles relax completely.Everything seemed still and quiet.



Wow… I felt funny a little dizzy and numb. I felt a warmness spread through my body.It was as though I was in a very glowing place like a big room. Now and then I heardBruce’s soothing voice but it was fading out and I could hardly hear him.

I looked ahead of me in the distance. I could see my mother exactly as she was when Ilast saw her. I looked at my mother’s beautiful face. She was laying half on her side andall the puppies were snuggled up to her and she had to stay put. Her head was raised andshe wouldn’t take her eyes off me. .

I walked toward her. I was so used to the pain in my whole back end that I braced myself for the pain. But there was no pain. I walked lightly with a springy gait just like I didwhen I walked through the woods with Bruce when I was one year old. I was gettingcloser and closer to her and it seemed like I was drifting off the ground in slow motion.

I knew all along she was out there somewhere and here she was. I knew it. She wasalways there. Always… I was going to be with her again….

The Best Dog I Ever Had 9-11-09 ND

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Transcript of The Best Dog I Ever Had 9-11-09 ND