The Balanced Male

JASON FIERSTEIN, MA, LPC

COUNSELOR FOR MEN

PARADISE VALLEY COMMUNITY COLLEGE

NOVEMBER 17, 2008

THE BALANCED MALEHEALTHY FROM THE INSIDE OUT

JASON FIERSTEIN, MA, LPC

COUNSELOR FOR MEN

PARADISE VALLEY COMMUNITY COLLEGE

NOVEMBER 17, 2008

What does balance mean to you?

What We’ll Talk About Today:• Balancing Your Relationships

and Communication

• Your Keys to a School Life in Balance

• Your Health: Inside and Out

• Beat Stress

• Food and Mood

• Good Mental Health for Men

• The Messages That Hold Us Back from a Balanced Life

Understanding Your Values

The Relationship Balance

• Needs and feelings instead of...

• Men don’t talk to other men this way! Are you crazy?

• The link between anger and depression in men

• Picking the right people for you that help balance your life

• Dropping masks and being real

• Conflict with others - How Not To Communicate

• Avoid the problem/stuff your feelings

• Fighting/criticizing to get what you want

• Linear vs. Circular: Men vs. Women’s Communication Styles

• Technology and Communication: Help or Hinderance?

The Communication Balance

Physical

Emotional

Behavioral

Signs of Stress

Physical

Emotional

BehavioralHeadaches

Stomach ProblemsMuscle Aches/tension

Flushed/warm faceIncreased heart rate

Decreased/increased appetiteDecreased/increased sleep

Increased muscle/joint painBeing ill more than usual

Signs of Stress

Physical

Emotional

BehavioralHeadaches





Increased Substance Use (cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, caffeine)

Isolate/Withdraw from peopleMore aggressive/yelling, swearing

Throwing things, fightingIncreased/decreased eating

Decreased activity levelTalking more/less

Signs of Stress

Physical

Emotional

BehavioralHeadaches





SadAngry

Impatient, irritableFeeling guilty

Nervous/anxiousLose interest in thingsHard to concentrate

HopelessnessThoughts of suicide/homicide

Increased Substance Use (cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, caffeine)

Isolate/Withdraw from peopleMore aggressive/yelling, swearing

Throwing things, fightingIncreased/decreased eating

Decreased activity levelTalking more/less

Signs of Stress

Tips on Dealing With School Stress

• Stay Organized! Pace Yourself and Plan Ahead

• Exercise (It’s Free)

• Your Body Speaking Stress

• Time Management Is The Key

• Know your Tipping Point

• Why You Don’t Ignore Your Stress After You’ve Recognized it

Tips on Dealing With School Stress

• Take Advantage of school resources, such as Counseling, Academic Advising, Tutoring, or your professor’s office hours.

• Grab Your Goals and Reward Accordingly

• $tre$$ Management

• Study What You Enjoy: Choose 1 Class To Provide An Outlet

• The Work-School Balance

What you consume may be stressing you


❖ Caffeine, sugar, alcohol and chocolate are “food stressors” that make stress worse on the body. Salt contributes to fatigue through dehydration, and high-fat meals raise stress hormone levels and keep them high.



❖ “Food supporters” include fish and its oils, fruits, vegetables, water, complex carbohydrates, protein and B-vitamins.




❖ Don’t smoke: People who smoke are likely to be more depressed than non-smokers.




❖ Don’t smoke: People who smoke are likely to be more depressed than non-smokers.

❖ Exercise! Certain endorphins and other brain chemicals released in response to exercise also produce a natural “high” and reduce stress, pain and depression.

AMERICAN MALE ICONS

Internalized messages are given to us at an early age. We then create certain ideas about what it means to be a

man based on them.Messages can be social, cultural, religious, parental or even self-

created.

How can you become aware of the messages that propel your

thinking about being a man? Are they healthy or unhealthy

messages, and do they work for you?

Messages (and Myths) About Being a Man

• Not “being a man” by asking for help

• “I’m weak if I have to ask for help.”

• Reducing your “image” to friends, family

• “Strong, silent type” of man (Tony Soprano)

• The OWC Philosophy (“Only Women Cry”)

• “I can handle it myself/I’m in control of it.”

What Works?

• Living lined up with your values

• Positive relationships and effective communication

• Healthy living

• Practicing stress management and good self-care techniques

• Creating school balance for yourself

• Asking for help when its needed

• Staying true to yourself, your wants, needs, and desires

And What Doesn’t Work?

• Bad relationships: friendships, family and romantic

• Poor communication with others

• Eating an unhealthy diet and bad lifestyle choices; poor sleep patterns

• Not asking for help when you need it most

• Not listening to yourself and doing what’s best for you

• Believing cultural messages and myths about “being a man” that prevent you from seeking help

Good luck during your final exams!Thank you for coming today.

The Balanced Male

Health & Medicine

Transcript of The Balanced Male