J. Suzanna LaurentAssociate Fellow

STC First Vice President

Director-Sponsor Region 5

Bylaws Committee Manager

120 Sessions, Programs, Workshops

35 Leadership Articles Published

Region 5 Conference Manager

Distinguished Chapter Service Award

Oklahoma Chapter Achievement Award

ABWA Top Ten Business Woman of U.S.

Our Agenda Today

What is influencing and why does it matter?

Do you have high Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?

Evaluating your influencing style and what it means

Push and pull levers

why does itmatter?

What is

influencing,

and

What is influencing?

Successful influencing means:

Getting a result that meets the

legitimate

needs of both sides!

What is influencing?

Consider these situations:

Asking a boss for a raise

Presenting your side of the story

Dealing with a team member who is underperforming

Persuading a colleague to accept your ideas

Why does influencing matter?

Because organizations

are managed

differently now!

How is management different?

The middle manager disappeared

Lean is mean

The rise of the customer

Working across organizations

The death of authority

Control is pointless

Leadership in modern,

successful organizations is

about persuading,

not about telling people

what to do or giving orders

What makes

an exception

al manager tick?

Influencing and Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

What makes outstanding

performers?

A study done by the Bell Labs

“think tank” at Princeton

How do you know when your influencing is successful?

It meets the legitimate needs of

both sides

It gets results that stick!

influencingstyle?

What is YOURYOUR

typical

Typical influencing styles

Style A: Dominance

Style B: Partnership

Style C: Others First

Style D: Bargaining

Style E: Withdrawing

Style A: Dominance

Put your own needs first and take less heed of the needs of others

It means speaking up, for example, for a cause that you support

Let others know where you stand Use when there isn’t time for debate

Style B: Partnership

Place a high value on collaborative approach

Outcome meets the needs of all sides Listen to other views Creates long-term relationships Goals defined and important to both

Style C: Others first

Place the needs of others high Lose-win style Helps develop other’s confidence Unselfishness in preserving relationship Does not involve deeply held values Creates harmony

Style D: Bargaining

Compromise style, give and take Usually a short-term relationship Goals may be unclear 1970s industrial relations—neither side

can identify common ground Style for a natural troubleshooter

Style E: Withdrawing

Danger in making hasty decision without enough information

Able to raise doubts about any proposed solution

May see dangers others don’t see Style for naturally cautious influencer

How can you improve your influencing skills?

We can tame the savage

“persuasion beast,”

but like a jungle safari,

that change can be scary!

The “pull” skills of influencing

Creating rapport

Genuine listening

Asking questions

Creating rapport

Body language says it all Negative Positive Mismatching and matching the other

person

Genuine listening

Put your effort into understanding the other person first

Be prepared to be influenced before you try to influence the other person

Asking questions

Lots of questions

Open-ended questions

Closed questions

The “push” skills of influencing

Asking for what you want

Saying “no” when appropriate

Giving feedback

Asking for what you want

Formula for making requests Use the person’s name State your request in a straight-

forward manner, using the word “I” Explain why you want it

Asking for what you want

Formula for making requests, cont’d.

Invite their comments and solutions

Ask what resources are needed to make the request happen

Agree on the length of time

Saying “no” when appropriate

Formula for saying “no” Acknowledge the person’s right to

make the request Say “no” straightforwardly Explain your feelings; then give your

reasons Suggest an alternative

Giving feedback

Feedback is not the same as

criticism Giving effective feedback

Receiving feedback

To be effective at giving feedback,

you must also know how to receive feedback well

Let’s review YOURYOUR

questions

Resources

Golden influencing tips on what to do

and NOT to do

Reading list

Amanda Bradley

Within our reach lies every pathwe ever dream of taking.

Within our power lies every stepwe ever dream of making.

Within our range lies every joywe ever dream of seeing, and

Within ourselves lies everythingwe ever dream of being.