THE ABC* OF JOSS WHEDON WARNER

*Asylum Bachelor Challenge

Part Two!

Last time on the ABC of Joss Whedon Warner, we met our bachelor and the eleven lovely contestants who are all vying for his heart. Some more literally than others. Since this is an asylum bachelor challenge, the points are a little different than in a normal challenge.

Positives:

Firsts = 1 point a piece

Children = 5 points a piece

ACR the one = 5 points

Negatives:

Dying = - 5 points (even if successfully plead for)

Fight with Bachelor = -5 per fight

Peeing self = -1 point

Passing out = -1 point (includes plate naps)

Nervous Breakdown = -1 point.

Also meet our really put upon caretaker, Andrea “Drea” Shin Fitzhugh. Her aspiration is in the red and she’s forced to macro-garden incessantly. This is what you get for having the LTW to have 6 grandchildren. If you wanted to have a job LTW I’d be forced to care about your aspiration. Since you don’t, I don’t. I bet she’s regretting pissing me off all those years ago now isn’t she?

Let’s get back to the action, already in progress.

It’s Wednesday of the first week. Remember that. It will be important later.

Joss climbed into bed for some much needed sleep next to the first of his baby mama’s Rachel C. She won’t be the last. Seren would like to make sure she knows that.

Then, like her mother before her, she goes on to pick a fight with one of the other inmates. Poor Rose, Rachel C. just felt the need to rub it in that she got to Joss first.

Sigh, this is sadly not going to be an uncommon occurrence with the way enemies are forming here. So who is it this time?

Oh, it’s Joss and Eve. She clearly thinks he rocks the black and blue combo and should wear it on his skin.

As for Joss, he’s clearly missing a photobooth date with Rachel C. to get his fight on.

And now Joss knows what it was like to get his ass kicked. Drea approved. I did not approve of Drea approving.

And Eve gets a first, but not a good one, she’s Joss’ first enemy. Well done, girl. Minus all the points.

Joss: I got my ass kicked.

Marina: It wasn’t that bad.

Joss: It was horrible.

Marina: At least you didn’t piss yourself.

Joss: True. You want to know what will make me feel better?

Marina: What?

He showed her what.

Bear in mind, this is HIM pulling HER into the photobooth, not the other way around. All of the other woohoo he’s had, the girl has been doing the pulling.

Joss felt much better about losing his fight and Marina got another first, Best Friend.

Followed almost immediately by Rachel A. becoming besties with him.

We interrupt your photobooth spam to show that Mal is now throwing down with Marina.

Then kicked her to the floor. While Eve looked on approvingly.

And now Marina matches Joss by having a Vetinari enemy.

Speaking of Joss, he’s back at the photobooth. Rachel finally got a crush on him, he’s had one on her for ages.

I think Rachel’s blaming Rose for Marina getting two of Joss’ firsts. She was on a roll there for a while racking them up.

The stalking of the bachelor continues.

Meanwhile, Drea continues to garden. That is all.

Rachel C. popped into pregnancy. She’s totally excited because if she has the kid fast enough she could get pregnant again.

Joss: So woohoo?

Marina: Sure! But do you think we could invest in some drapes? I’m not cool with Drea watching.

Joss: But think about it this way, you’re getting what she can’t have. Marina: Leave ‘em open!

I missed it, but Marina got another first along with getting pregnant here. She’s the first that Joss has fallen in love with.

Seren: You’re hot when you’re falling in love.

Joss: Thanks. Do I glow?

Seren: Yes, but I think that’s the glitter someone sprinkled in the bed.

Joss: Oh. I’d better go take a shower then.

Molly: Wait, before you do. Let me kiss you.

Joss: Are you going to poke me afterward? Molly: Only if you want me to.

And Molly and Joss fall into mutual crush with each other.

Joss: This isn’t poking.

Molly: I’m poking you with my lips. Isn’t it nice?

Joss: Much nicer.

Joss: Now I really need a shower and a nap.

Showered and napped, Joss continued his antis in the photobooth room. Apparently he finds Rachel C. hot. But then again, she’s pretty much only ever worn her underwear the whole time. So I can’t blame him for being a guy.

Still, Rachel A. is not going down without a fight.

And Rachel finally joins the best friends club. Apparently talking to the bird helped her a lot last time, she might need to talk to it again to get herself back in the game.

Joss: I totally rock the blue hair more than you do.

Eve: That’s it you’re going down!

While Joss and Eve threw down, Rachel A. solicited the bird’s opinion. Hey, if it worked for Rachel C. right?

Rachel C.: *Butt grab!*

Joss: *Butt is grabbed*

Eve: *stalks*

And apparently the bird gives good advice, because Joss and Rachel A. are now in love.

And Joss goes back to throwing down with Eve while the doodads float over his head.

And this time Eve kicks his grabbed butt again.

Marina: Hi Molly! Good Luck!

Rachel A.: Aren’t you rooting for the competition?

Marina: I’m not worried about it.

And now there’s another girl pregnant.

Molly: My love for you is not insubstantial although apparently I am!

Joss: Oh my heart. Please don’t do the patented kidney grab ear nibble.

Molly: You are the wind beneath my wings!

1: I’m free! I’m free!!!

Joss: That was the best Bette Midler I’ve heard.

Molly: So you liked?

Joss: I loved.

Molly: Yay!

Hi Genie! I swear that I never saw that sim. Considering that this hood is my “Dead Realm” she’s acting pretty ghostlike. What? Did you think I was taking a picture of the fight and Joss getting out of the shower?

And she’s gone.

Sigh. Mal and Marina again. You’d better believe I’m keeping track of how many fights we’re having.

And Rachel A. is now showing.

Less than five minutes later, Joss and Eve threw down again.

I really wasn’t sure if this was a bachelor challenge or a steel cage death match. Welcome to Thursday of the first week…

Eve kicked Joss’ butt again, but this time Molly was there to cheer him up.

And it looks like Rachel C. is sporting a bit of a muffin top.

Joss: In the midnight hour she cried “more, more, more” With a rebel yell she cried “more, more, more”

Seren: I’m hungry for more Joss.

Molly: I’m hungrier.

Seren: I’m still hungry.

And Rachel channels Elizabeth and passes out in the doorway next to her own pee puddle. Minus two points there. She’s really losing the edge her being ACR’sthe one gives her.

Outside Drea’s finally starting to feel a little foggy. It’s now Friday morning on the first week…

Drea: I’m green.

Drea: I’m really green.

Drea: I feel the need to shake my head.

Say hello to little Drew. He’s got the exact same personality as Drea. Not that we care because the timer starts now. In three days (aka Sunday night) he ages up and can spawn the six plant babies I need to get Drea’s LTW. That’s seven commands (grow up and grow plant baby.)

It’s like the girls all knew the timer was on because they all started to stalk Joss even more.

And now Marina is sporting the ever popular baby bump. It’s the hottest thing this season.

Marina: I approve of this.

Drea: Eeeeee!

Marina: Now do it again!

Drea did.

Seeing Drea’s humiliation seemed to make Marina amorous because she hunted Joss down for some smooch time.

Rose: Nice job getting with Joss. Do you have any pointers?

Marina: Talk to the bird. That seems to work.

Rose: Maybe I should just kiss him.

Marina: That works too, but you’re going to need to initiate it.

Rose: Um… Can’t I just follow him home on the bus?

Then, as you do, it was photobooth time.

Seren becomes girl number five to get knocked up. Go her!

Then she started following Joss around primping. She must follow the Rachel C. camp of underwear stalking.

Did you know that Plantsims gain water motive from fixing plumbing? They do. Good to know. Now Mush Drea, Mush!

Marina: Thank you, Joss for making us food that sparkles. My portrait was very orange.

Joss: No problem, my dad always taught me a man takes care of his woman. Uh. Women.

Rachel A.: Nice Save.

After spending half of the challenge avoiding Joss, Joss finally takes matters into his own hands and talks with Elizabeth. Dude, they were a strong three bolt couple in my hood. I guess being dead changes a girl.

Gratuitous shower slide is gratuitous.

Rose: Oh my god! Joss is naked. In the shower!

Joss: That’s normally how you shower.

Rose: But it’s you!

Joss: I have no words.

Feud with Marina well in hand, Mal moves on to Seren as her next target. Probably because Seren is as neat as she is and cleaned something Mal wanted to clean.

Rose: How dare you clog the toilet while cleaning it. Flushing paper towels is a no-no.

Mal: But they were dirty.

Rose: No excuse.

Joss: Would you ladies mind having your lecture somewhere else. I haven’t peed or passed out and I don’t plan on doing it now.

Rachel A.: You’re sexy when you’re cranky.

Joss: Really? I should be cranky more often.

So he decides to be cranky at Katmiester. Sorry, he was trying to impress a girl.

And I don’t know what is up with Mal. The only explanation is that there are too many neat sims and she doesn’t have enough to clean.

Drea wasn’t rocking the green so I put her back into her other outfit. It suits her more.

Elizabeth has been amusing me. She is the only person in the challenge getting aspiration. She’s been plat several times this asylum.

Joss: I find plat aspiration sexy.

Elizabeth: Well, I plan on being plat a lot lately.

Joss: Sexy.

Rose: *Stalks*

Molly, orange is really not your color.

It’s just a popping good time in the asylum tonight.

Elizabeth: I’m going to get lots of aspiration points for kissing you.

Joss: Aspiration points are sexy.

Following the kiss again it was a quick visit to the photobooth to make a deposit.

And Liz is the sixth girl currently pregnant in this challenge. That’s half of them.

Drea: This place sucks.

Drew: Don’t care. Sing to me, woman!

Seren: I’m feeling a little queasy about my chances. I need to do something.

And she does.

Not to be undone, Marina also steps up her game.

Marina: You know there’s a pee puddle in the bedroom doorway.

Joss: You know the way to my heart.

Marina: I know how neat sims like to clean.

However Joss didn’t make it back there to take care of it since it was timer going off time for Rachel C.

And now Joss is in love with her. Making her number 3.

Although I don’t know how much of that is due to her rampant refusal to wear clothes.

Molly, not one to take things lying down. Steps in to claim her man. While Rachel C. thinks about how much she loves being at the head of the pack.

Although the other girls aren’t about to let her win without a fight.

Rachel C.: I kissed him first.

Molly: You’re not kissing him now.

Rachel C.: I will be.

Molly: Not unless I get to him first.

She got to him first.

So I think this is a good time to cut this short. Molly is beginning to feel a little annoyed at all of the other girls going after her man. Besides I like to keep the tension high

Zane: This place looks a little nuts.

Mmm just the way I like it! . So Scores!

(names in bold are pregnant and one of them is scanning twins. I am not saying who.)

1. Rachel C – +5 points (First Friend, Crush, Kiss, Woohoo, Pregnancy) = 5pts

2. Rachel A - +5 points (The ONE!) – 2 points (Potty Accident) – 1 point (pass out) = 2pts

3. Marina - +2 points (First Best Friend, First Love) -1 points (Potty Accident) = 1 pts

4. Molly - +1 points (3 bolts) = 1pts

5. Katmiester - 0pts

6. Seren - +1 points (3 bolts) – 1 point (Potty Accident) = 0pts

7. Rose – 0pts

8. Genie – 0pts

9. Mal - -1points (Food Nap) = -1 pts

10. Elizabeth - -1 points (potty accident) – 1 points (Food Nap) = -2 points

11. Eve - -30 points (Fights) = -30 pts