[TF] Dobyuk Princess - Minusky

DOBYUK PRINCESS <<1>>

“welcome~!”

A young woman who works at one of the department stores in the mall greets Hannah eagerly..

Hannah smiles slyly at the bright young woman and slowly enters the department store

Hannah Choi20 yrs oldand second daughter of the owner of the hansol mall

[if you knew about what im about to do I wonder if you’ll still have that stupid smile on your face....]

After looking around in the department store Hannah goes toward the corner where there is a stack of pens and pencils

She takes a handful of colorful pens and quickly puts it in her bag while nobody is looking

“...hmm...another successful day for me isn’t it?..”

Hannah murmurs to herself

Hannah didn’t try to steal things because she needed it or wanted it..

She didn’t steal it because she didn’t have ne money either...

Actually she had a lot of money....

The only reason she wanted to steal things she didn’t need is because of the excitement that you can only feel wen you’re stealing something....the tingling sensation that you feel through your fingers

Hannah liked that feeling and that’s the reason why she steals things. She wanted to feel her heart race uncontrollably...and that was all

Things like money she had plenty of...her parents always gave her plenty but she never spent money...she didn’t want to use the money because of the way her parents earned it...it was dirty money to her and Hannah was afraid she’ll be dirtied by it

She steals in order to get excitement into her life instead of living the boring everyday routine her parents expect her to live

“...hehehe...these people are such idiots...”

As she was cautiously closing her bag those words came out of her mouth...and as she was about to leave the store.......

“..hmmm I think we have fix that dirty habit that yoyou’ve got there...”

Someone from behind her grabbed her wrist and gently whispered those words into her ear....the voice seemed slightly amused...

Hannah turned around with shocked eyes to look at the person that was talking...

Silver purple colored hair

A cold smile

No..rather then a smile it was just his lips turning upwards to his cold dark eyes

The more she looked at him the more she got an impression that this guy was a guy that was cold...and very distant to people

Hannah Choi looked at him with big surprised eyes with her brown shoulder length hair dangling by her side

..................................................................................................................


“..we have to fix this habit you’ve got...”

“dammit what is this????”- Hannah

The phrase ‘shit’ was repeating itself over and over again inside Hannah’s head while she looked up at the cold person in front of herand asked quietly...before sumthing warm and descent comes out of Hannah’s mouth...bad words always seems to fly out instead

She was trying to free her wrist from this cold person’s grip so she twisted and turned but the person only tightened his hold on her....

He looked at her with eyes that dared her to scream or do anything...

”You’re hurting me....if you have something to say then let go of my wrist and talk”- Hannah

“.............”

The stranger glares at her coldly

“..wha....what do you want? If you want to report me go ahead...Nobody’s stoping you!!...now let go of my wrist...YOU ASSHOLE~!!!!!!”

Trying to work out a compromise was what Hannah intended to do but it seems like her temper got the better of her and she only yelled and cussed at him instead....

People were starting to stare at those two and Hannah glared at them with eyes that could kill....

Hannah Choi could be easily described as a person that was cold...and twisted...

“...listen carefully and well to what I say Hannah....we-“

“HEY~!!! How do you know my name??..You’re not a stalker or something are you??”

“...LISTEN!...you and I will meet again in a couple of weeks....when we do...there is a small task that you have to do...”

“..eh??....what???”

“...when we meet again....all you have to do is say NO...that’s all!!..don’t say, do, or ask anything else...UNDERSTAND?!?!”

“.......?.......”

Hannah’s eyes grew more and more bigger in confusion as the stranger in front of her kept talking...

“don’t forget your line ...hehehe....dobyuk princess~”

“...what?!?!....why am I a dobyuk princess??”

“....because of that habit that you seem to have...”

With eyes that spoke of dislike the stranger looked Hannah up and down and then released his grip on her and slowly walked out of the store...

Hannah watched him walk out of the store while gently massaging her bruised wrist and was very confused from what just happened...

DOBYUK PRINCESS<<3>>

It has been exactly a week since That event at the mall...

Today Hannah’s so-called father invited HannahTo an important dinner meeting...

“...Hannah can’t u wear something moresuitable for a change??...it won’tkill you....”-hanli (Hannah’s older sister)

“I don’t want to...isn’t it enough if youlook nice and pretty??...why do you haveto butt into what I wear too???”- Hannah

Hannah’s father had bought her a nice blackdress to wear for the occasion but Hannahignored all of that and just put on sum tornjeans and a big shirt....

hanli was the opposite of Hannah..she was wearing a white dress and puther hair up with pretty pins...

Hannah looked at hanli up and downand then glared at her with dagger eyes andwalked away....

hanli Choishe was a girl who just wanted tobe favored upon by her parents...in the eyes of her parents hanliwas a nice, smart, plastic barbie dollthat u can dress up any way u wanted herto be.....

that’s why Hannah despised her...

“...ur sister is right Hannah....wearthat dress your father bought for you..today is an important day...”- Hannah’s mother

“...i never asked him to buy me that dressand even if it is an important day what’s it got to do with mee??”- Hannah

Hannah said these words icily with a hint of angerin her voice...then she walks to the car without knowing where she’s about to go....

....................................................................................

“it’s good to see you againhansol~!............come sit down......”

the short and friendly greeting that passed betweenthe two men, hansol Choi and mr. Lee, and right behindmr. Lee came another person....

“..hey~!!...you’re.........you’re.....”

the surprised Hannah jumps up from her seat and points her finger at the person that just entered...

and watching Hannahhe smiles...........that cold smile.....

he passes Hannah and says in a quietvoice that was meant for her to hear only....

“...it’s good to see you again DOBYUK princess..I hope that you haven’t forgotten your lines...”

“you....”-Hannah

Hannah looked at him with eyesthat glittered with anger...

[is this asshole playing some joke on mee orsomething???]

“....umm Hannah.....”

hansol Choi was Hannah’s father and Hannah seated herself again he cleared his throatand began to speak in a very buisness like voice..

“the reason I called you out heretoday is because I wanted to tell youthat you’ll be engaged with minwoo lee,son of Mr. Lee (the owner of the shinhwa mall)and also the vice president of the shinhwa mall...”

“..WHAT??????”

Hannah asks with big surprised eyes

and minwoo stared at her looking as ifhe expected this....

“...i’m sorry I couldn’t tell you ahead of time...”-mr. Choi

“...what about hanli??...isn’t she suppose to get married first??She is the oldest u know...”- Hannah

“you should know thathanli is expecting to go to america to continue her studies...”- mr. Choi

comprehension slowly dawned on Hannah’s face...shenow understood the conversation she had with minwooat the mall and why he told her to say no....and she also understood why her parents were doing this....

her parents didn’t want to marry of their preciousdaughter, hanli, who’s perfect and doeseverything that’s asked of her....but on the other handthey wanted to get rid of Hannah who never listens toanything they say....so the best way to do that is marry her offto the son of the owner of a big company that way her father andmr. Lee can join their two malls...AND get rid of Hannah at the same time....it’s like hitting two birds with one stone....

“...Hannah.....umm....are.......are you....okay with this??....it was just so sudden...”-mother

“....oh....umm...yeah....i’m alright....”

“...so Hannah....what do yousay to this??”- mr. Choi...

“......................”-Hannah

“............”- minwoo

<...when we meet again....all u have to dois say NO...that’s all!!..don’t say, do, or ask anything else...UNDERSTaND?!?!>

“...i guess....i should do what you say...”

as soon as Hannah said that her parent’sand minwoo’s parents look at her brightly..

...and a deep frown was forming on minwoo’s facehe just sat there....not knowing what to do...and Hannah watched minwoo’s face change withan amused look on her face...

[did you know.... I am a type of person thatdoes not do what other people order me to do...and I’m glad this chance came up...if my parents wantto sell me then it’s only fair that I play along...if I have to get engaged to a total stranger to get outof that damn household...then so be it....the only thing that’sbothering me right now is the thought that I have to live withyou....from now on.....and I don’t like that.....at all......]


[what is this girl thinking???]

that thought was all that was going through minwoo’s

head right now...he let out an exasperated sigh and sat still

[shit!!...why is she doing this???]

how was he going to live in a housewith only him and this girl???Everything was getting out of control andHe didn’t like that....He also didn’t like workOr his parentsOr the idea that he is expected to love one girlFor the rest of his life...

[are all my efforts going to waste because of this one girl??]

"I’ll do what u say...i will engage with this guy...but...I assume that I’ll have my own place to live???"- Hannah

[...i wish I can just shut her up...she’s messing everything up!]

she was shortwith a small skinny bodyand shoulder length hairthat seems to be flying everywhere right now

"...of course...u can move in right now if u want..."- mr. Lee

"then I guess I can move in today right?"- Hannah

".....yes...."- mr.lee

“...well...then If u will excuse mee Im going to go right now...mom can u bring my things later??”- Hannah

“...if you want...”- mom

“since Hannah says she is leaving y dun u escort her out of hereand take her to where you two will live and show her around or something...”

mr.lee looks at minwoo and gives him the look that saidminwoo was to escort Hannah whether he liked it or not...

“........”-minwoo

as soon as Hannah and minwoo were out of earshot frmthe adults....minwoo looks at her and says...

“...WHAT were you THINKING!!!?”

Hannah could tell how angry he was frm his tone of voice...

“...since im such~ a good obedient daughter the word no just wouldn’t come out of my mouth...”

“dun gimme that BS”

“...it has nothing to do with u so don’t misundertand thisas if I have some kind of feelings toward u....you were only the escape rope that I’ve been looking for to get out of my stupid house...”

“...HANNAH!!!”

“..thank you for giving me the chance I’ve been waiting for toget out of my house....let’s split up here...just give me the addressto the apartment and I’ll find my own way dere....”

“...we have to talk about this...”- minwoo

as he says that he grabs Hannah’s arm and takes her to his car...he opened the car door, threw Hannah in, then slammed the door shuthe was too angry to care much about what he was doing...

“...HEY!!...am I some kind of THING to you??...why are youthrowing me around and stuff?!?!?!”- Hannah

“..Hannah Choi....i heard that you are two yrs younger then mee...”

“so?”

“...show some respect...”-minwoo

“.......hahaha...don’t expect mee to go around calling u minwoo oppacuz I don’t do that sort of crap..”

“................................ listen to what I say”

minwoo started the car and headed toward their apartment....

“....i have no intention of living with you...I don’t like the very Idea of it...”

“the feeling is mutual”-Hannah

“shut up...u did all of this...anywayswe’re suppose to live in an apartment that hastwo rooms...one for you and one for me...from now ondon’t concern urself with my buisness....we just live togetherbut that’s it....nothing more....”

“.................”

“I wont care what kind of person you bring to the apartment and I hope you will do the same for me....we will get along fine as longas you mind your buisness and I mind mine...”

“...don’t worry....i didn’t come all the way here to care about youlet alone what you do...”-Hannah

after that Hannah and minwoo were silent until they reached the apartment

as soon as she got inside the apartment she went into the room that was hers and started to sleep

after Hannah went inside minwoo started the car again.....and just drove away.......

........................................................................

“...ahhh~~...^0^..” (yawn)

Hannah woke up and went over to the window and opened thesmall window to let the warm sunshine in...she stretched her bodywhile the sunshine warmed her body....

“...ughh...why is my body so stiff??...”

as Hannah tried to loosen up her stiff musclesshe opened the door and walked into the living room...

the apartment that she was suppose to live in from now onwas very pretty...and very clean...Hannah found this very weird since this was an apartment thatminwoo lived in by himself...until now...

“...is this jerk a gay person or something?...why is his house

so damn clean!?”

as she said this she walked into the kitchen and openedthe refrigerator to look for something to eat.....

**squeak!!** (the bathroom door opens~)

“.................”-Hannah

“.................”-minwoo

while Hannah opened the refrigerator door and pulls out a container of waterminwoo came out of the bathroom dressed in a beige colored suit they stared at each other without saying anything because they had both forgotten about their living conditions

[oh yea...im suppose to live with this girl from now on]-minwoo

[damnit!.....if that bastard wasn’t here everything here right nowwould be a wonderful dream come true~!]-Hannah

Hannah and minwoo stood there just glaring at each other in the eyethe atmosphere seemed to turn to ice as they both gave each other cold looks..

after what seemed like hours Hannah was the first to break eye contact

[don’t stare at me like that...i hate to say this but your eyes are too clean andbright....they’re too clean that I don’t want to see the trash-like me in your perfect eyes that mirror my reflection....]-Hannah

“..don’t you have to go to school??”-minwoo

as minwooo walked toward the front door he casually askedHannah a question...

“I thought you said that we don’t mind each others buisness...”-Hannah

instead of answering his question she just replied in a half annoyed voice

“waking up every morning and seeing your face isn’t exactly what I wantso I was planning to go to work after you went to schoolthat’s the only reason I asked you that question...”-minwoo

minwoo shrugged his shoulder and said everything in a careless tone of voiceHannah watched minwoo and started to get very angry

“..YOU!!!...”

“....im pretty sure that I told you to show some respect to me whenyour talking to me”

“...and im pretty sure that I told u not to ask me to do crap like thatcuz I don’t do it...also it’s been a while now since I’ve stoppedgoing to school and they say that im too stupid to go to college..notthat I actually want to go....so even if you don’t want to you’ll be seeingmee EVERY morning...........oh dear what SHALL WE DO??”

Hannah yelled at minwoo angrily in a saracastic tone of voice...

“..kuku..i see...well thank you for that little bit of informationabout yourself.....oh yea...and by the way...i consider myself a very open minded person but your hair right now is making mesick so if you will do me, the person who has to see you every morning, a favor try brushing your hair before coming out of the room every morning”

“....what?!..hey!!...you!!....you!!!”

after saying what he had to say he completely ignoredthe stuttering Hannah and left... slamming the door

“..damn...i lost to him this time didn’t I?”-Hannah

as Hannah glared at the door with an angry expressionshe thought about how hard it was to fight back wen he lookedat her with those cold eyes and that icy tone of voice...

[he makes mee so mad!!!!]

............................................................................................“..haha...was I always so mean??....all I had to do was ignore thatgirl and that would have been the end of it...”-minwoo

minwoo talks to himself in his car and smiles slyly at the thoughtof what just happened a minute ago with Hannah....

[Hannah Choi....you disturb my thoughts too much already...]

.........................................................................................................


“..goodmorning .mr.lee..”

“..mr.lee is dere somehting wrong?...your face doesn’t look good today...”

“..mr. lee your suit looks very good on you today..”

as soon as minwoo enters the his office theses were the firstthings he heard from his secretaries and other woman who workedin that building..

it was like this ever since he was little he didn’t havethe greatest personality and he wasn’t the mostcutest guy in the world....but girls seemed to like him anyways

he acknowledged their greeting with a smile

[I don’t want to have anything to do with loveI don’t believe in a thing called loveLove is nothing...Your heard changes and you feel something newBut then as time passes it goes awayLove is nothingIt never lasts and always changesAll we do is play with love and that’s itGirl do thatThey toy with love]

His face hardens from memories of the past and he slowly enters hisFather’s office....

“father..”

“...oh minwoo...did you and Hannah get home alright yesterday night?”

“...yes....when is the engagement/??”

“...we have decided to schedule it for next Sunday..”

“.....i see.....”

“...take good care of Hannah and help her with anything...”

“.........”

“...hmm alright then go ahead and do your work............oh WAIT!!”

minwoo was heading out the door but turns around to face hisfather ...

“..???..”

“...i know that this engagement was not what you wanted but now thatHannah is by your side....i hope you will.....ahem....get rid of all those otherwomen that you were seeing and focus more on your work and on Hannah...you...will have to take over this buisness once I retire...................”

“..........................im going to go now.........if youneed to say anything to mee just call me at my office....”

ignoring his father’s coment minwoo bowed and lefthis face was dark as he closed the door...

............................................................................................................................


“rrrrrrrrrrrrrr”-cellphone

since Hannah had nothing to do and she couldn’t take theboredom she decided to go to sleep but now the sound of hercellphone was waking her up....

“..ughhh.........what?!”

Hannah answered the phone in a half angry and half annoyed voice

-it’s me minju

“...oh...what do you want?”

Hannah’s one and only friend minju kim

as Hannah held the phoneshe started to kick away the blankets and got upfrom her bed

-I was bored so I just called....wanna do somethingtoday??

“...can’t...”

-why????

“I got sold~~”

Hannah said in a gloomy voiceas soon as minju heard this she startedyelling and screamingHannah gave an amused grin as she listened tominju’s complaints...

-you got SOLD?!?!?!...where are you right now??Is it a sool jeeb???

“are you crazy??...why would I be in a place like that??I’m just getting engaged to a complete strangerBut that’s the same thing as getting sold isn’t it??

-huh??...engaged????....puhahahahahahahahaur kidding right?????

“hmph!...do I SOUND like Im kidding?? I have to be engagedto a person that I have never met before and has the MOSTBIGGEST attitude problem I have ever seen ....i feel likeIm gonna die of frustration and you think Im JOKING?!”

-...seriously??

“yES!!”

-hmm...i believe you...i guess....but why an engagement??...it’s soo old and tackypeople now-a-days just get married...

“...i don’t know......”

-what about ur sister?

“the angelic and obedient Princee Hanli wouldnever be sold like mee~~.................aish.......my head hurts now.....i’ll talk to youlater...”

Hannah snaps the flip to her cellphone shut

“...shit this is so frustrating....im in the same situationI was in before I moved out of the house~!!!!”

There was no more sleepiness left in Hannah so she couldn’tForce herself back to sleep.....she just sat dere on her bed....listeningTo the continuous ticking of the clock on her bedstand...

[im so BORED!!!!!]

whenever Hannah was bored...she stole things.....but she couldn’t do that now

“ughhh....i am sooooooo bored~~~ isn’t there ne thingFUN to do???”

[...hmm if my perfect older sister was in my shoes what would she do??Oh yes I know!....she would take out a book and read while listening toClassical music.....]

*sigh*

[it’s so boring you would wanna commit suicide~!!!!]

suddenly thought of this morning’s argument entered Hannah’s head

{your face isn’t exactly what I want to see every morning

but your hair right now is making me sick so if you will do me, the person who has to see you every morning, a favor try brushing your hair before coming out of the room every morning}

[that stupid jerk....hmmm....i don’t like the way hecan just make me so mad and then ignoremee after he says what he had to say...

since we have to live together forever anywaysI think that I should find your Weakness.....That way I’ll be getting rid of my boredomAnd finding some kind of way to make you mad and piss youOff....

Since you call mee dobyuk princess so muchI should live up to my title shouldn’t I?...heheheI’ll find your weakness....because everybody has a weakness]

And thinking that Hannah walked out of her roomAnd slowly enters minwoo’s room..........................................................................................................................


“...is this jerk even krn?!?!...why is there so many damnbooks in his stupid room that’s all written in english??!!!”

Hannah frowns as she goes throught minwoo’s room and only finds english books

“...ughh....my head hurts from all these english words~~”

it has already been half an hour since she’s been going through minwoo’s room and she hasn’t found what she was looking for...all she found were books....bunches of books that she didn’t understand...

the only thing that Hannah found out about minwoo that she didn’t know about himbefore was that he was a major player

in his drawers were many cards and presents that looked like he received them from different women he had went out with...Hannah also found a list of names and phone numbers of women in his wallet...

Hannah didn’t know how to use this informationagainst him....if she asked him if he was a player or nothe would most likely say...

‘no matter what kind of player I amI would never go out with a girl like you’

And that would only lower Hannah’s self-esteem andShe didn’t need that right now....

[I need to find something that’s valuable to him....................hmm..........kekeke.....now that I think about itthis is more fun then stealing..........]

“...ughh doesn’t he have anything that’s valuable to himand could serve as a weakness of some kind~~~~~~??”

*thump* (sound of something hitting the floor)

while Hannah was going throught minwoo’s desktopshe accidentally knocked something over....

“???”

Hannah picks up whatever she knocked over curiouslyand as she looked at the picture her eyes grew bigger then usualhalf from shock and half from curiousity...

resting in Hannah’s hands was a small picture framein the picture was two people that looked as if they werehappily in love....and the guy in the picture was her fianceeminwoo lee...

but

even though it was him....he seems like a totallydifferent person in this picture.....he wasn’t wearinga buisness suit that Hannah has seen him wearhe was wearing some baggy jeans with a big yellow shirtand he was smiling....not that cold smile that Hannah hasseen from him so far.....but a warm happy smile....

and

next to him is a girl

with long black hair and she had on awhite dress....she was very pretty.....the girl was smiling slightlyand her and minwoo looked happy together

minwoo was hugging the girl from behind andthe scenery was so beautiful that it looked like somekind of painting....

this picture was a big shock to Hannah sinceshe had come to think that minwoo doesn’t evenknow how to smile warmly.....

“..oOh...he seems like a totally different person...”

Hannah turned the frame around and saw something written very nicely on the back of the frame

.........nalae.........

her name fits her image....she looks cleanand innocent...

[this nalae girl......her style in things and her tastein clothes seems to be similar to my sister’s]

“...hmm...it would have been perfect if thatjerk was engaged to my sister instead of me”

Hannah just kept staring at the picture and wasn’t able totake her eyes off of it....

with no reason at allHannah seemed to get sad as shewas staring at the picture in front of her

Hannah had a feeling there was a sad story behindthis picture....and as Hannah kept staring at the pictureshe felt an unexplainable sad feeling come over hera feeling that came from the deepest part of herand the inscription that was on the back just made her even moresad.............

it was the first timefeeling the way she did right now

she was confused....

and as Hannah kept staring at the sad pictureshe didn’t hear the front door open and closeand that of course was a big mistake on her part....

*bang* (the sound of the door opening)

“what the hell are you doing?!?!?!”

Hannah heard minwoo’s voice that was mixed withsadness and anger

Hannah turned around and facedminwoo’s cold glare.........

...................................................................................................................


“what the hell are you doing!!!!?”

minwoo looked angrier then he did when Hannahsaid yes to the engagement...

minwoo glared at Hannah and waited for her togive him a reasonable explanation to be inside hisroom holding that picture in her hand....

it was a big mistaketo come into minwoo’s room and lookthrough his things and not even hear him come throught the front door

and the only solution that Hannah could thinkof right now was to apologize and slowly goto her own room....

“...oh ur home~...uhh...im really sorry that I just came intoyour room without asking...”

Hannah said this in a small shaky voice and tried to get out of the room as quickly as she can withoutattracting too much attention from minwoo

“....i asked you a question....what were you doing in here?”

minwoo grabbed Hannah’s wrist so that she couldn’t escape toher room....he tightened his grip on her and turned her aroundso that she faced him and asked her again in an angry voice

[..his grip on my wrist hurts...it hurts...]

it felt like minwoo was pouring all his strengthinto his hand that was holding her wrist and Hannahwas in so much pain that it took every strength she hadnot to cry out...

“...can we talk without you holding on to my wristlike this??”

“don’t change the subject and just answer the question”

“..shit...im in too much damn pain to answer you so LET GO!”

Hannah yelled at minwoo because she didn’t knowhow much longer she could stand the pain butit had no effect on minwoo and he kept his gripfirm on her wrist...

“..answer me....why were you in my room and whatwere you doing with that picture in your hands!!!??”

“...there is no reason alright!?....i was just bored and I just cameinto your room so that I can get rid of my boredom....im sorry alright?!I won’t ever do it again....so let go of my damn wrist!!!!!!!!!!”

“I’m pretty sure that I told you that we wouldn’t mind each other’sbuisness....are you that stupid you can’t remember that?....or is itbecause of that bad habit u seem to have with your hands??”

minwoo asked her in a sarcastic voice as he pulled her closer to himand tightened his grip on her wrist....

“..im SORRY!...you asshole!...yea I am what u call a dobyuk princessif I don’t steal my hands just won’t stay still.....this is what you wanted to hear right??...are you satisfied now with my answer??NOW will you let go????”

“......Hannah.........”

minwoo called her name softly but Hannah

didn’t want to listen to what he said....

“...hmm...minwoo lee....since my dirty habit broughtme here into your room I found out that there were a lotof women in your life....”

“...what is it that you want to say??”

“...so at first I figured that you must be a big playerthat just takes girls for fools and just plays around with them...but then I saw this...umm....shocking...pictureand now I change my mind....i don’t think that you are aplayer.....”

Hannah said this in a voice that was dripping withsaracasm...since he was already as mad as he canpossibly be at her for intruding his privacy Hannah figured that she might as well say what she’s got to say and get it over with...

“................................”-minwoo

“...and then I started using my stupid brainand began to think....and I have come to the conclusionthat.....well......this nalae girl was your first love huh?That’s wh-“

“shut up......i never gave you permission to talkabout me and that subject.....”

as the name nalae came out of Hannah’s mouth....minwooturned angry eyes at Hannah and quietly talked to her in his coldvoice....and in his eyes was a hint of sadness and regret...but Hannah didn’t recognize what she was seeing in his eyes soshe just kept talking without much consideration on what she was doing to minwoo while she talked...

“...i told you not to tell mee what to do...anyways your first love, an angelicand innocent girl named nalae, dumped you huh?And you were hurt very deeply huh?....and to takeCare of that pain you just started dating different womenHuh?....and you don’t believe in a thing called love anymoreAnd you will most likely despise all women because of whatHappened between you and nalae...it’s just like what happensIn a cheezy love drama....isn’t it?..”

“...you win....i give up.....so stop”

“.............”

Hannah quieted once she finally recognizedthe pain and sadness that was mixed in minwoo’s voice...

and an uncomfortable silence began....

“..Hannah Choi....you seem to know a lot aboutcheezy love dramas....so I’ll show you what they dobest in those dramas....”

“what??”

Hannah looked at minwoo with a confused frown on herface

since minwoo was holding Hannah’s wristthey were already too close for comfortbut minwoo started getting even closerand Hannah finally understood what his intentionswere.....

“..hey!!...you pervert!!!...let go of mee!!...and back off!!! Or else- hmm!!!!”

minwoo slowly covered Hannah’s mouth with his ownthere was no feeling behind this kiss...it was just a cold kisscoming from a cold person....Hannah tried to pull away but minwoo’sgrip on her was firm....it wasn’t as if minwoo’s lips were cold butinstead was warm and soft...but it didn’t matter because dere was nomeaning behind it.....

and as the kiss deepened Hannah began to panic

but after a few seconds minwoo finally pulled away from herhe looked at her and said

“....my buisness is none of your buisness...i’ll tell youfor the last time you have no right to talk about me or nalaeso don’t do it again....i’ll let you go on this one....”

“...chi.....OoH thank you sOo~~ much for your mercifulness...NOW can you let go of my wrist?!?!?!”

Then minwoo finally loosened his fingers from Hannah’s wristAnd sat down on his bed no longer paying attention to her

Hannah wanted to say something to him and pretend she wasn’t shaken byWhat he just did to her but she couldn’t....when she opened her mouthher voice didn’t even come out...

[damn...]

Hannah rubbed her bruised wrist and glared at minwoothen she walked out of minwoo’s room and went into her own

“...that bastard....i’ll never forgive him for this...”

she looked at her wrist and before she even finished hersentence a tear slowly fell from her eye and slowly rolleddown her cheek......

.........................................................................................................................


[I hate the human race...Even if you’re hurting insideYou can still cover it up by smilingOnly humans can act like thatOnly humans can pretend everything’s alright at times when it’s not

Like right now.....

Here I am with my fianceeActing like nothing’s wrongLike we’re friends....in front of my motherPicking out an engagement ring and choosing what weShould wear.......]

Hannah and minwoo were putting on a fantasticShow to assure minwoo’s mother that nothing was wrong

Hannah wasn’t in a good mood after getting herFirst kiss stold by minwoo....Minwoo and Hannah had avoided each other until now

Minwoo wakes up early in the morning and goes to workAnd comes home late at night...And Hannah wakes up late and stays in her room the whole daySo even though they live together under one roof

They never saw each other......

After a week of avoiding each otherThey had to pretend that they liked each other in front of minwoo’s momIt was too much for both minwoo and Hannah and it made them VERY uncomfortable

“....isn’t this one pretty Hannah??”

“...umm....mrs lee?....do I have to wear a dress??”

“...yes of course!...it’s an engagement...isn’t it obvious that u have towear a dress??”

minwoo’s mom handed Hannah a light pink that was simple but formal dress

“...minwoo....won’t this dress look good on Hannah??...go inthere and try it on dear....”

Hannah looked at the dress with dislike butwent into the dressing room to try it on...

minwoo had on black sunglasses to go alongwith his silver hair and was sitting on a couch in the storeflipping throught magazines.....

“...ughhhhh...why does she want me to wear this????!”

Hannah asked herself quietly while she stood in frontof the mirror in the dressing room...

Hannah opened the door and stepped outshe tried to avoid minwoo’s mocking gaze on her

[...plz...i dun need to hear your saracasm voice today...]

“...ohhhh....you look so pretty~~!!...Hannah looks good in this dressdoesn’t she dear...?”

minwoo’s mom directs her attention to minwooand asks for his opinion...

“...Hannah....i think u need to get some fat on yourselfwhat can you do in that fragile body of yours??........minwoosay something.......”

minwoo’s mother keeps asking for minwoo’s opinion and so he finally looks up from his magazine and looks Hannah up and downthen slowly opens his mouth and says.....

“..whatever...”

suddenly the atmosphere turned to ice and minwoo’s mother frowned

the ladies that worked in the store looked at minwoo with shocked eyesand Hannah just stood there looking as if she expected to hear that from him

“..minwoo lee!!...what kind of answer is that?!?!...takeoff your sunglasses and look at Hannah again!!!”

minwoo’s mother yells at minwoo for his rude answerand minwoo took off his sunglasses and looked at Hannah...

“...it’s good...i like it..”

“....it is isn’t it??....well of course it is since I have such goodtaste in clothing...*^^*....okay...we’ll buy this one...”

anybody could tell that minwoo had looked annoyed and botheredwen he answered his mother...he only answered it to make his mother happy...

and

of course his mother bought it...

[this dress...the rings....this engagement....

what is it for???

You and I don’t even LIKE each otherWe don’t care for each otherSo what is the point of this??]

As Hannah thought about the engagementShe got mad and angry at herself for what she startedBut it was too late now to do anything...

..............................................................................................................


“..i feel so much better now that we bought yours and minwoo’sclothes for the engagement and also the ring....don’t u??”-minwoo’s mother

“..yea...”-Hannah

“...are you hungry??..”

“...a little...”

Hannah and minwoo’s mother walked out together from the clothes storeand was walking behind minwoo.....

Hannah noticed that....minwoo was wearing another one of hisbeiges buisness suitsand even though Hannah doesn’t want to admit ithe looks very good....

“...why don’t u two eat dinner and then head home...?”-minwoo’s mom

“...but what about you??..”-Hannah

“...i wouldn’t want to intrude...you two just go ahead...I’ll be heading home now...”

“...bye!!!!”-minwoo

minwoo smiles brightly for the first time that dayand says bye to his mother.....

Hannah was also happy that minwoo’s mother was going homenow they didn’t have to keep on acting like they were...

“...okay then....good bye~”-Hannah

Hannah also says good bye as minwoo’s mother steps into her car

and

as soon as the car disappears around the cornerHannah turns around and faces minwoo...

“............”-Hannah

“......what?!.......”

minwoo looked uncomfortable under Hannah’s steady gaze but

he looked back at her with his pale eyes that were covered by his sunglasses right now....

“...i was staring cuz u act sooo well in front of your mother thatit fascinated mee....”-Hannah

“...hehehe...that’s the most nicest thing that you’ve ever said to mesince we’ve met....i’ll take it as a compliment...”

“...don’t go as far as taking it as a compliment cuz it’s not....i was only wondering how a person like you that’s so well behaved infront of his mother can be a totally different person when his mom isn’t looking....I’ve never known anyone who can just kiss a person that they barely likeAnd then pretend everything is just peachy in front of their mothers........................................anyways im going to leave now......i’ll tell your mother that I hada wonderful dinner........”

Hannah talked to minwoo in a careless tone but turned away as soon as shecould so that minwoo wouldn’t see her face turning read at the subject of minwoo’skiss.....

and as minwoo listened to Hannah his face slowly changed fromsurprised and then to amusement.....

[to be honest I still get mad thinking of that day....I lost my first kiss to you.....and it makes mee even more mad that I dint do anything to you....if I had slapped you maybe I wouldn’tFeel so miserable as I do right now........but I didn’t slap you.....Why didn’t I???........was I always so slow????]

“...why Hannah~!...thank you!....i didn’t think that youwould still remember that kiss...but I guess you do....haha...so im assuming that it was your first kiss that I stole from youisn’t it???”

minwoo looked at her and started talking to her in a teasing tone of voice...

“...what.......what?!?!.....hey!....minwoo lee!!!...you~~!!!!!”

“..if it’s not true then all you have to do is say so....there’s no need to get all worked up about it....”

minwoo starts to tease Hannah again...

minwoo waited for hanah’s comeback butHannah decided not to fall for his bait

“...damn...forget it....talking to stoopid asses like youis just plain dumb.....i’m going to leave now....”

Hannah sighed and gave up....sheturned around and started walking in the opposite directionof where minwoo was standing....

[why is it that I can never win with you????!I hate youI hate youMinwoo lee!...i HATE u!!!]

“..Hannah Choi get in....”

minwoo pulls his car over to Hannahand tells her to get in quietly...

“..forget it....im going to take the bus so go away”

“....get in...NOW.......i have something to say to you..”

“...i said no....if you and I are within 10ft of each otherthen we alwayss fight and I’m not in the mood for that...

so let’s just walk away from each other in peace...”

“...i’m warning you........get in!”

“...dammit I said NO...it’s so obvious that we’re gonna start fighting againand im sick of it right now...so just leave..”

“..don’t make me waste my breath on you..just get in..”

“...no sir!!!...good bye mr. Minwoo lee...”

minwoo started to get mad

“...shit Hannah...i told you to get in!!!...now don’t make meget out of the car and actually throw you into my car....”

“.........”

hearing minwoo’s threatening voiceso Hannah gave up and got inside his car...

as soon as she got in....minwoo’s car startedspeeding down the freeway......

.........................................................................................................


“where are we going...??”-Hannah

Hannah asked minwoo in a loud voice so that he could hear her over the loud music that she didn’t recognize since it wasn’t a korean song...but....it seems as if her voice wasn’t loud enough because he didn’t answer her..

minwoo had the stereo blaring and his hair was flying everywherebecause of the open window....Hannah noticed they weren’t heading for theway home and was curious as to where they were going......

but minwoo just lifted his face to the opened window and drank in the fresh airinstead of answering her question...he tapped his finger to the rhythym of the musicand Hannah was positive that he didn’t hear her question....

“..where are we going??”

Hannah stared at minwoo and asked the same question againbut her voice just mixed in with the music and minwoo just kept driving...

*click*...(sound of the music turning off..-.-;;)

“hey!!!”

“..didn’t you hear my question??”

Hannah had turned off the music and she now had minwoo’s full attention...

[you know what?...i HATE it wen people ignore me...]

minwoo turned his head toward the window and said in an annoyed voice...

“...what did you ask me..??”

“...i asked you TWO times WHERE ARE WE GOING?!?!?!”

“..to have dinner..”

“...did I ask you to buy me dinner?...forget it and turn the car around...I’m not hungry....”

“...stop whining...my ear hurts from all your talking...shiet...i don’t want

to eat dinner with you either but there’s something I haveto tell you so will you just shut up!”

after saying that he focused his attention to driving and ignored her

Hannah was getting a little mad and annoyed at minwoo’s cold andsaracastic voice....

“...do you act the same way to other girls as you do to me?..and if u do...thosegirls still like you??.....”

“...i don’t look at you and see you as a girl.....”

minwoo grins and answers Hannah

“..then what am I??”

“...a person that has issues......a person that can’t stand still without stealing...a person with a nasty habit with their hands...a person that’s known as thedobyuk princess...”

“WHAT???!”

Hannah yelled at minwoo after hearing his answer and minwoo stopped thecar in front of a pretty restraunt made out of wood...

“..we’re here....i don’t want to go around the car and open you door and flatteryou like I do with most girls so just get out...”

“????....!!!!!....hey!!!!”

[why does he treat me so differently from other girls??..oh yea...cuz im a dobyuk princess...damn...another person to lower my self esteem...]

Hannah was very mad now so she slammed the doorshut and walked ahead of minwoo to the wooden restraunt...

and minwoo watched Hannah walk up to the restraunt...then he slowly began to smile...

[getting you mad is more fun then I thought]

...............................................................................................................................


Hannah stood in the doorway of the restraunt that she and minwooHad come to.....she stood there and looked around in awe...the restrauntBuilding was beautifully constructed and it was very elegantly decoratedinside and outside.....

the restraunt was very homey and Hannah felt immediately comfortable...she couldtell how much the owner of this place loved this restrant by looking at the money and thetime that he/she put into it....

“....welcome....”

a young girl that was sitting at the counter greets them warmlyand minwoo goes over to her.....

“..where’s hyesung..??”

“..oh...the owner?...umm wait a minute please...”

the girl smiles and goes into the kitchen...

“...hey~..minwoo lee..what’re you doing here?”-hyesung

“u doing good??”

finally a person comes down the stairs from the second floor and greets minwoofriendly....and Hannah watched all of this in silence....

the person called hyesung looked like a friendly and lovable personto be honest he looked much more like a girl then Hannah did...he had ivory skin with small rosy lips....it’s a shame that god made him aboy because he would have made a beautiful girl....

“..ummm...who’s that?....”

after a little bit hyesung notices Hannah and asks minwoo who she is...

“oh...my fiancee”

“really?...hi my name is hyesung...i’m minwoo’s friend...it’s nice to meet you..”

“oh”

hyesung waited with expectation for Hannah to introduce herselfbut she didn’t and hyesung looked at minwoo with disappointmentand eyes that silently asked...[what’s wrong with her?]

“..don’t worry about it...she’s always like this....i’ll introduce her...she’s the girl im getting engaged to in 3 days and her names is HannahChoi...”

“oh..”

*ssu lung hae...-.-;;;*

“..i came for dinner...my table is available right?”

“...of course that table is always reserved for you....”

hyesung and minwoo both smile brightly...

[that smile....that was the smile that he had in the picture...with nalae...he looks so comfortable...]

“..follow me..”

minwoo says to Hannah and they both follow hyesung up the stairs to the secondfloor of the building...

“...what is it that you had to say??”-Hannah

Hannah asked minwoo while she was eating spaghetti

“..oh my father gave me plane tickets for you and me....so thatwe can go for a little trip after the engagement....so-”

“?!!...what??...a trip??..”

as soon as the minwoo said the word “trip” Hannah spit out the coke thatshe was drinking and gives minwoo a surprised look....

“..yuck...this is disgusting...you’re a girl and you DO these things in frontof guys???”

minwoo frowns and asks Hannah...

“you don’t look like a guy to me”Hannah looked at minwoo and mimiced the voice that he had used earlieron her....and minwoo only smiled and asked....

“then what am I?”

“..hmm depends....when your at home you seem like a gay fag...and when I was in your room your room you seemed like a playerand wen you caught me in your room you seemed like a short tempered bastard..and days like this when you buy me dinner you seem like a decent person..”

“..haha..”

“..anyways...where are we going for the trip??”

“oh...we own a house in england....we’re going there...”

“..damn...can’t you just say that we don’t want to go??”

“..i can’t do anything now we already have the plane tickets and everything is ready”

“....shit...i don’t want to go though~~~~”

Hannah mumbled to herself while she started playing with her food..

“..of course I don’t want to go with YOU either but we have no Choice..”

“...i don’t like moving around....i hate being uncomfortable....and I hate muscle crampsand that’s what im most likely going to get from the stupid plane ride there!”

minwoo and Hannah both frowned and showed each other how much they disliked the idea of taking a trip together....

[I had thought that I could just ignore you...but now I see that our parents are making that a little difficult..]-minwoo

“.........”

“.........”

minwoo waited for Hannah to say something but Hannah was thinking aboutsomething very deeply...

“minwoo lee!”

“........?..........”Hannah suddenly breaks the silence by calling minwoo’s name and minwoo looks at her questioningly

“since we have no Choice but to go to the trip we might as well make the best of it right?...so let’s make a truce...from the day of the engagement till the day we come back from that stupid ass trip that we have to go to....alright??”

“..hmm....make a truce?....”

as soon as Hannah said truce minwoo’s mouth twitched with amusement and he looked at her with laughing eyes...

“don’t just automatically think that it’s stupid and not worth your time...because.... well....honestly.....whenever you and I talk to each other we always fight...so let’s not test each other’s patience until AFTER the trip........?”

“...hahaha...fine...i dun care as long as you keep your mouth shut everything will go fine..”

“..yea right....and you have to fix that saracastic voice of yours cuz it pisses me off”

“...ha...”

minwoo looked out the window of the second floor in the restraunt.....it had a beautiful view of a lake that was nearby...and since it was getting pretty dark....the lake looked almost magical in the moonlight.....

and Hannah sat in front of him eating her spaghetti

they were both content with themselves and didn’t want to be bothered by each other’s presence....

“Hannah Choi..”

“...?...”

minwoo kept looking out the window while he called Hannah’s name...

his voice was deep and soft.....and his face had a serious expression on it...

[what is he gonna say now?]


“Hannah Choi...”

“....?....”

“life your sleeve..”

minwoo quietly told Hannah to lift her sleeve in a low voiceand Hannah obeyed and pulled both her sleeves up...

as soon as she pulled her sleeves up she saw her wristher small skinny wrist was now bruised black and blue....

then Hannah began to understand why minwoo had just randomly askedher to pull up her sleeves....this bruise was made when he grabbed her wristin his room last time....

[but....what does he care??...from his personalityhe probably doesn’t even know the definiton of the word sorry]

“....did I make that bruise?...”

“.........”

“....answer me....is that bruise because of me?”

“...yes....”

that day when she had secretly went to his room and looked through his thingsthat day when minwoo got mad and grabbed her wrist...that day when Hannah found out a lot of stuff about minwoo...the memories of that day was still fresh and clear in both their heads...

“...............don’t you know how to be careful???”

“.????”

Minwoo asked Hannah a question And she had absolutely no clue of what he was talking about

Minwoo just stared at Hannah’s wristHe couldn’t take his eyes away from it...

And Hannah felt a little bubble of hope starting to swell in her mind...

[maybe he’ll be a descent human being and actually apologize..]

“...did you just have to come out in a dress that was totally sleeveless with that bruise on your wrist??....can’t you be more careful than that??”

“.............what?!.....are you mad at me for wearing that dress with the bruise showing? The bruise that YOU made???....well you should know that I did NOT want to wear that dress but YOUR MOTHER MADE mee!!!!”

Hannah got very angry and started yelling at minwoo for what he said...

[I was being totally stupid for actually hoping for an apology from him.....I can’t believe I actually believed you could be a descent person....but I was wrong minwoo lee, you are and always will be a cold person....]

She yanked down her shirt sleeve and just sat there angry at minwoo and at herself for believing that he might apologize...

Minwoo watched her and didn’t say anything for a long time...then he opened mouth and started to talk to Hannah in a low voice...

“....let’s stop this...i saw your wrist at that shop and I felt really guilty because of the guilt that I felt I asked you to pull your sleeve up so

that I knew for sure that what I saw was real.....i’m sorry about that day......i know that I overreacted and im sorry...”

“..........!!!!!!!.........”

Hannah’s eyes got big as she stared at minwoo disbelievingly....she couldn’t believe her ears.....she just couldn’t

[....did you just.....say sorry to mee??.........did you just...............................apologize??]

“...oh and sorry for EVERYTHING that I did to you that day.....i wasn’t thinking straight”

“../////..”

[your sudden apology is so...shocking...geez if you come out like this...then I’ll start feeling guilty....I have no idea what to do or say now....Haha...i guess your not that bad of a person after all minwoo lee!]

..................................................................................................................


*ding dong-ding dong-ding dong*

it was a lazy Sunday morning and Hannah was sleeping soundly with comic books thrown everywhere....it was 10:00am and Hannah heard the annyoing sound of the doorbell...

[damnit!....who the hell is here and bothering me on this beautiful(?) Sunday morning???]

Hannah didn’t bother getting up but instead pulled the covers up and tried her best to ignore the doorbell......then she slowly drifted off to sleep again...

she sighed happily as her breathing slows down to a regular rhythym and goes back to sleeping....but still .......she could hear two familiar voices.......

-huh?....oh hello.....umm is there a problem?.....i’m sorry you just came here with no call or anything.....(minwoo)

-today is the engagement....we must take care of Hannah....she probably won’t even put on any make up.....we’re here to get her prepared....(Hannah’s mother)

-...oh....i see.....umm....come in.......plz...

-where’s Hannah?

-umm....hehe...i think she’s still sleeping..-.-;;....wait here I’ll go wake her up for you

Hannah heard this conversation as if from far away.....but it didn’t matter....cuz she still couldn’t wake up from her sleep....

[does Hannah know today is the day of the engagement?]

*..creeeeeeeak....*...(sound of door opening...-.-;;)

“...ughh why is this room so dirty??...Hannah Choi get up!!”

minwoo looks around Hannah’s room with disgust.....he saw comic books thrown here and there and as he looked at the bed he saw a clump of blankets and under all of that Hannah was sleeping....minwoo goes toward Hannah and talks softly to wake her up...but Hannah doesn’t wake up....

“..Hannah I said get up..”he tries waking her again by raising his voice a little but it was no use.....Hannah was still asleep....

minwoo was starting to get annoyed snce Hannah won’t wake up and her mother and sister is waiting for her in the living.....

“..hey!...get up!...your mom is here!”

minwoo poked the blanket but still Hannah doesn’t stir from her sleep....

“..OMG!...what kind of person doesn’t wake up at this hour???...”

minwoo brushes his hair aside and looks at Hannah with a frustrated face..........then suddenly as if he had a great idea he grinned mischievously...

“..hey Hannah....wake up.....it is precisely 1:25 minutes 48 seconds and counting..the engagement is in 35 minutes and I don’t want to drag you there like that....”

minwoo whispers this into Hannah’s earsarcasm was dripping from his voice....the sarcastic voice that Hannah hates so much...

“..ughh....minwoo lee....lemme sleep a little more...it’s only 1:25 so just....WHAT?!?!.. 1:25????”

Hannah suddenly opens her eyes and scrambles off her bed...she quickly looks at the clock on her dresser........10:08

“..shit....do u wanna die???....why the hell are you waking me up??...and why are you even in my room??”

Hannah was yelling at minwoo for waking her up but minwoo just ignored her....

“..clean up your room!!...what kind of girl lives in a room this dirty??....look at all those comic books!!!”

minwoo just yelled back at Hannah telling her to clean up the room and it looked like he didn't even hear what Hannah had said....

“..ughh...will you just.....shut up with your nonsense???...i don’t know who it is but I feel extremely sorry for whoever is going to be you wife....”

Hannah said had said this in anger but as soon as she realized what she had said it stopped her cold....

everybody already knew who was going to be minwoo’s wife...it has already been decided that it would be Hannah.........

then suddenly she remembered the engagement and Hannah realizes for the first time since she had agreed to get engaged with minwoo...that she would have to live with minwoo for the rest of her life.....

“...come out of your room......your mom is here because of the engagement....”

“...o............k”

[he and I both know that we can’t do anything about it now.....we just have to live with each other....day by day]

“...eh?...why are you here mom??....you’re here too unni??”

as soon as she came out of her room she saw two figures on the couch....one was her mother....and also her sister in a pink blouse and a white skirt......

“...do u have any idea what time it is???....why were you still sleeping??....i got up early in the morning just to help you...........hurry up and wash up........we’re gonna go to a salon and get you hair and make up done.....”- unni

“............i don’t ever remember asking you for any kind of help.....”

it was always like this between Hannah and her sister....hanli would always act like an angel but only if there’s something in it for her...........she’s always saying... “I do this for you...”....and she always seems to make me look bad and her look good....

[....you the perfect angel hanli Choiand me the devil Hannah Choi....]

Hannah frowned with dislike as she looked at hanli

“ hanli and Hannah...stop fighting.......why are you always picking a fight with your sister Hannah?”-mom

“...mom......you’re always-”

[even thought we both fight with each other at the end the person that gets in trouble is me and the person who gets away with it is unni]

“...whatever Hannah...let’s just stop this........lee suh bang......you should hurry and get ready too....”-mom

“........??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!.........................yes...of course...”-minwoo

“...why is this person lee suh bang??....im pretty sure that we ARE NOT MARRIED YET!”

minwoo’s face was an expression of surprise from hearing Hannah’s mother calling her lee suh bang....

and

Hannah was yelling at her mom saying that they weren’t married yet so he shouldn’t be called that....

“..even though you two aren’t married YET.....you two will soon.....so it doesn’t matter if I call him lee suh bang now or later cuz im going to have to call him that sooner or later...”

as minwoo and Hannah heard her mom’s explanation as to why she can call him that they both let out a small sigh.....so many different problems just because of an engagement....

and the thought that entered both their heads right now was this....

[this...is a nightmare...]

.............................................................................................................................


“..hmm...since you have such short hair I think we might have to use a wig or put on some extensions.....”

right now Hannah, minwoo, hanli, and her mother were at the salon and a gay hair stylist was touching Hannah’s hair and talking to her.......his voice was oily and it made her uncomfortable...

“...long hair that’s put up is always the best for engagements or weddings so put on some extensions for her hair....”-mom

claiming that they were there to help herHannah’s mother and unni was sitting on the couch flipping through magazines....

Hannah’s mother asked the gay hair stylist to make her hair longer so that they could put it up....but Hannah cut off what her mom said and talked to the gay hair stylist in a cold voice....

“...just leave it like this.....don’t listen to them because they’re NOT THE ONES GETTING ENGAGED here”

the gay hair stylist put on a hopeless expression and shrugged at Hannah’s mother....then he started doing whatever was possible that made Hannah’s short hair look nice....

“...how would u like me to do your make up??”...-hair stylist

“...just do whatever you want mr. Gay hair stylist....i dun care but if I look at myself after your done and I don’t like what you did you’re gonna regret it...”

“..puhaha-...”-minwoo...

minwoo was standing next to Hannah and when he hear what she said he gave a short burst of laughter but tried to contain it and not laugh out loud since what Hannah had said was rude

the gay hair stylist’s face turned bright redand Hannah couldn’t tell if it was because he was offended that she called him mr.gay hair stylist or if it was because he hated how minwoo was trying to contain his laughter after he heard what Hannah had said to him...

“..then.....then....would......would.....////////......you....umm.... like.....me to do a....nude make up style on u......???”

“...whas that?”-Hannah

“...eh??...”..-hair stylist

[if I had ever tried make up on I would know what I want and stuff.....but I never tried make up before.....-.-...]

the hair stylist looked surprised at Hannah’s question and he looked at her to see if she was joking but there was a genuine look of confusion on her face.....he looked down trying to cover his red face and began to explain....

“...uhmm....you see.......uhh...nude make up is when you can’t really tell if a person has make up on....just a little bit of make up here and there.....so that it gives you a natural sort of look.....”

“..ohhhhhhh..”

Hannah nodded her head up and down as she began to understand what the hair stylist

[..ughh...i can’t believe im a girl and I dunno these things... -.-]

“..do whatever you think looks good on me”-Hannah

Hannah told the stylist to do whatever he feels like smiling brightly

“..hmm...i think that since Hannah’s skin color looks a little bit pale today we should put some make up on her that will make her skin color look alive and healthy...then after that try putting on some of you nude make up...”-hanli

hanli tells the hair stylist her opinion on what to do with Hannah’s make up but as soon as Hannah hears hanli’s opinion on what to do with her....her bright smile suddenly faded away and a deep frown was creasing into her face.....

“..should I do it like that??”-hair stylist.

“..NO!...i just thought of what kind of make up I would like to do and I decided that I want EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT MY UNNI said.....put a lot of make up on me so that I can’t even recognize who I am when I look in the mirror!!!....do the EXACT OPPOSITE of what unni said...”

as soon as everybody hears what Hannah says....minwoo.......the hair stylist.......and hanli all look at Hannah with disapproval and a deep frown...

“...but......still.......on your face......real.....dark make up......”

“...i dun care....i want real make up on me not nude make up so do it....NOW”

the hair stylist once again put on a helpless expression and started to on dark make up on Hannah....

“....Hannah.......i don’t think that......this type of make up....is..”-hanli

“...unni....if u don’t want to see mee go to the engagement looking like an idiot will you please just go over there next to mom and sit quietly and flip through the magazines like a good girl??....i don’t want to do ANYTHING that you tell me to do so as long as you’re here im going to do exactly the opposite of you want me to do....so just...GO AWAy”

“what??”-hanli..

“...im asking you nicely....will you please go over there and flip through some magazines princess hanli!”

hanli looked at Hannah’s face that was filled with dislike.....and her eyes were full of hate toward hanli.....so Hannah just turned around and faced minwoo....

“..umm....minwoo?...aren’t you going to do your hair also??”-hanli

“..umm...yes...of course...i should..”-minwoo

hanli smiled gently at minwoo and he responded with a look of uncomfort and a hestitant smile....

“....Hannah Choi......whas wrong with you??....you seem to have a lot of issues for a girl..”-minwoo

“...shuddup and go away.....don’t worry about me cuz I handle my own problems”-Hannah

as soon as hanli returns to her seat nex to her mother on the couch minwoo bends down and asks Hannah quietly and since she had her eyes closed so that the hair stylist could put on eye shadow on her she couldn’t glare at minwoo..... so she just quietly talked back to him with a voice filled with annoyance....

“...what did you do last night that made your skin color look so pale??...”-minwoo

“...i just read my comic books till about 3 in the morning.....and when I woke up this morning this was how I looked like....”

minwoo looks at Hannah’s skin with amusement...

“..keke...did you even know that today was the day of our......ahem.....engagement??”

“..well....i tried to forget about it of course......would you try to remember the day where you’re supposed to get engaged and live happily ever after but instead feel like you’re going to a funeral??”

“..kekeke...”

“..don’t laugh....im already in a bad mood because of this stoopid make up that looks really bad on me...!”

“..you look like a clown...kekeke...”

minwoo looks at Hannah and talks to her in a voice filled with laughter...

“WHAT?!?!?!....hey!!!....you!!!!.....you just called me a clown didn’t-”

“...ummm....miss.....please don’t move”-hair stylist...

as Hannah yells loud enough so that the whole salon echoed what she said the hair stylist tried to calm her and make her sit quietly.....

and watching her minwoo grinned with amusement twinkling in his eyes...

[....in 4 hours....

our engagement....

will start.....and you and I

are now....stuck....with each other.....]

.............................................................................................................


“the engagement is at 5:00 pm and only family members are attending...”-minwoo

“...whew...that’s a relief...”

“..why is it a relief?..”

after Hannah was done with her hair and her make up minwoo and Hannah spilt up with hanli and her mom....now minwoo and Hannah were on their way home

minwoo just cut a little bit of his bangs since it had grown to cover his eyes....and now they were just right above his eyebrows....

“...just think about it.....with this make up....and that dress.....today would have been the day where my reputation goes down the drain....thank god it’s only family members....”

Hannah bit her small lips that was colored in a wine colored lipstick....

Hannah seemed to have smaller lips then regular girls.....and since she had a wine colored lipstick on her right now...plus...all that powder....and her long stiff eye lashes.....she looked like a barbie doll....

and Hannah kept muttering to herself....expressing her dislike of how she looked.....it looked as if she was really regretting what she said back their in the salon about her make up....

“..keke....you look prettier then I thought u could ever be...so don’t frown so much”

minwoo kept turning to Hannah while he was driving and told her that she was pretty but Hannah only glared at him....

“...don’t laugh at me”

“...whatever....anyways....as soon as the engagement ends we’re gonna board the 7:00pm flight and go straight to england...so as soon as we go back to the apartment pack enough clothes to last you 2 weeks...”

“...whew...........alright...”

Hannah sighed deeply and answered minwoo.....then she slumped down in her seat and tried to get into a comfortable position...

but since she had all those different pins in her hair and she had to keep her hair looking nice until after the engagement she couldn’t get comfortable.....Hannah was already annoyed and cranky for not getting enough sleep from not getting enough sleep but now that her hair was testing her patience she began to get a little angry...

Hannah twisted this way and that but she just couldn’t find a comfortable position in her seat while she kept her hair from messing up.....after a few unsuccessful tries she gives up and cusses then sits up straight taking her back off the seat.....

during this whole time that Hannah kept moving around minwoo paid no attention to her and just kept driving

since minwoo had only trimmed a bit of his bangs and that was it he had a comfortable look on him.....

but on the other hand...since Hannah’s mother and unni had insisted that she get her hair and make up done Hannah came out of the salon looking like a barbie doll....

Hannah just didn’t know what to do....she felt so uncomfortable that she was getting very angry....and to relieve all that anger she turned her attention toward innocent minwoo and started to pick a fight with him...

“...aish....this is so stupid!...hey minwoolee!....did you put any make up on??...or did you put gel in your hair??”-Hannah

“.what??”

minwoo turns surprised eyes toward Hannah.....

“..ughhh....i don’t like it............i don’t like u.........and I don’t like me.......”

“...what’s the problem now...-.-;;”-minwoo

[Hannah Choi.....i think im getting used to you now.....i think I can tell when you’re trying to pick a fight with me and I can tell when you’re sincerely being stoopid.......im really used to you now...]

minwoo kept his eyes on the road but talked back to Hannah in a half annoyed voice as he listened to her complain in a disgusted voice....

but the annoying feeling that he felt soon disappeared as he looked at Hannah once again and saw her make up.....his mouth slowly curved up and he chuckled lightly at her...

[...Hannah Choi....seeing you with all this make up makes you seem like a totally different person.....and even though you look pretty.....even though you look like a little doll....this make up doesn’t suit you.........it just makes me want to laugh.........]

“...there is no problem....im just curious as to why is it if guys put make up on they’re considered weird and if girls don’t put make up on they’re considered weird?...okay I admit that they invented a thing called make up for a women to use.......but why do girls have to put on all this thick powder and all this eye make up just to look pretty for a guy??....i will never understand why anybody would do that......AND I will never understand why guys like girls that want to hide what they truly look like with make up....haven’t you ever thought about this??.....didn’t you ever feel like you should do something to yourself so that you can look good in front of girls??”

“...nope...never...”

minwoo looked at Hannah with eyes full of laughter after hearing what she said and he answered her question in a short two-word answer.....

“..then lemme ask you something?....why is it guys don’t have to look good for girls but girls have to look good for guys by putting on all of that make up??”

“..look!...i never asked you to put on that make up stuff.....also I don’t really see why I should explain to you why guys have to do this and girls have to do that....but just in case yoyou’ve forgotten....you WANTED that type of make up on...you ASKED for it....because of that damn pride of yours....”

“hey!”

“...don’t get mad and stuff....cuz....in the words of our great parents....today is a day of happiness....and celebration.......it’s our engagement day....so let’s just spend a quiet day today with no fighting.......cuz im just as tired as you are....”

“........................”

“.......................”

Hannah just sat quietly after hearing what minwoo had to say....but a few seconds later...her crankiness returned from not being able to get comfortable in her seat....

“..ughh...stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid!...minwoo lee!!!...stop the car right now!"

“.....?!?!?!?!....”

Hannah wanted to go along with what minwoo said but it looks as if her crankiness won over and she told minwoo to stop the car....

minwoo was confused as to what made Hannah so cranky but he listened to her and stopped the car.....as soon as he stopped the car Hannah got out and slammed the door...

“...HEY!.....what are you doing??....where are you going??”

“to the backseat”

minwoo was shocked at what Hannah was doing...he put the window down and yelled at her asking her what she was doing....and Hannah just looked at him and took off her jacket and answered him in a voice that said it was obvious.....

then she got into the back seat and took her jacket and used it as a pillow so that her hair didn’t get messed up........then with her eyes closed she talked to minwoo

“.....don’t you dare drive harshly.....everytime that I wake up before we get to the apartment I’m gonna put scratch marks on your car so just remember that while you’re driving....”

“..haha...”

minwoo just looked at her and gave a short laugh from what she said....then he slowly started driving back to the apartment......


“...aww....our little Hannah looks so pretty~!”-Hannah’s father

“..im glad you like me like this...”

Hannah was at the engagement and she was in her dress sitting quietly at a table....and her father looked at her adoringly....

and as soon as her father moved his attention else where Hannah stopped smiling and frowned again making her discomfort obvious

[ you must be loving this right now....since this is the first time that I ever did what you wanted me to you must be overjoyed.....

since im wearing a pink dress instead of my usual hiphop style clothes and with my hair that I got done at a salon plus make up....i must be representing your precious hanli....you must be so happy.....this is the first time I heard you complimenting me and praising me...the praise and compliments always went to the cute and pretty hanli unni so you never even looked at me....but look at you now.....treating me as if you love me.............]

-after the the two fiancee’s put on their rings we will cut the cake-

it wasn’t even a wedding but there was the cake and the rings and the photographer....it’s been a while since Hannah stopped smiling and minwoo was in his seat just sitting there with no apparent expression on his face.....

[it’s weird.....how I wish this engagement was cancelled....if this engagement cancelled I would laugh and smile as if I was half crazy....i wish you people would cancel this engagement between minwoo and me....

at first....i agreed to this engagement so that I could get away from you people...but now I see that it’s not turning out how I expected it to....and im not sure if that’s necessarily a good thing....minwoo and I are going through hard times right now because of this.....]

“hey!...gimme your hand”-minwoo

after the speaker announced the two fiancees to put on each other’s rings minwoo waited for Hannah to give him her hand but seeing that she wasn’t responding he quickly whispered to her to bring her back from her deep thoughts....

and as Hannah heard minwoo’s urgent whisper she turned toward him surprised and confused at what was going on...but she caught on quickly and gave minwoo her hand..he took her long skinny fingers and put on the ring....

“...it won’t kill you to smile you know......you’re not the only person here who doesn’t want to be here....”

minwoo whispered into Hannah’s ear....his voice was small and low but you could hear the anger in his voice....

[...he’s thinking the same as me.....isn’t he?]

“...im trying to smile right now.....but don’t worry about me and worry about yourself...your not looking happy right now either.....”

Hannah whispered back to minwoo as she took his hand and put on a ring on one of his long fingers....

then after a lot of applause from the guests....they walked over to the cake and was getting ready to cut it....

****************************after the engagement*************************

Hannah and minwoo didn’t even remember how the engagement ended.....as soon as speaker announced the ending of the engagement that was wen minwoo and Hannah finally smiled and looked relieved.......

“whew~~~~~~”

“whew~~~~~”

Hannah and minwoo both let out a big sigh at the same time...they both stared at each other surprised and for the first time since they’ve met....they understood how they both felt at that moment....

“...have fun~~....and rest as much as you can you two!”

“....bye!...”

minwoo and Hannah both say good bye to both sides of the family and then try to leave as quickly as they could....

they got in the car and headed for the airport

“....ahhh~~~....it’s over...~!”

as both of their families got smaller and smaller from the rearview mirror Hannah let out a happy and relieved sigh....

“..keke...”

as he listened to Hannah’s happiness he himself felt relieved and happy too.....


It was dark inside the airplane....it has been six hours since the plane has been in the air and people were beginning to fall asleep.......and for the people who weren’t tired there was a movie playing on the huge tv screen that was there on the plane....

...minwoo was staring at the screen of his labtop...and then he would occaisionally write something in his notebook...and then type something into his labtop....he has been like this ever since the boarded the plane until now....

if they were like two regular fiancee’s they would be smiling and talking to each other right now.....but........Hannah and minwoo were not two regualr fiancees.....so minwoo just kept doing his office work that he could do wen he got back from the trip to england....

and

since Hannah could have care less about what minwoo was doing she just kept her gaze fixed on the tv screen watching the movie that was playing....

there was a pretty american girl on the tv screen with a good looking american guy...these two were the main characters of a beautiful love story.......it was one of those really good love stories that whoever watched it was guaranteed to cry in the middle and smile at the end....

but....

Hannah just looked at the tv screen with disgust...-.-;;;

then a few mintues later she pulled off her earphones crankily....

“..aish......how boring....”

“!!!!!”

.....minwoo had his attention on his labtop and was typing something but his fast moving hand stopped suddenly and now he focused his attention on Hannah

then slowly his eyes went to the tv screen where the movie was still playing....

“..aish...what kind of corny love story is that?!....ughh....my eyes!!....i’ve never seen such a stupid movie.....my poor eyes that had to watch it and my poor ears that had to hear it.....”-Hannah

Hannah started complaining about the movie ....and minwoo just looked at her and then started talking back to her in an exasperated voice...

“...Hannah Choi!....that movie made millions and millions of dollars in our country alone...”

“..that corny thing?...”

...Hannah’s eyes got big as she listened to what minwoo said.....and she looked as if she was really surprised.....

“...why is that such a corny movie...?”

“....it’s SUCH an obvious love story....the two lovers meet by fate...and somehow by fate they keep meeting each other and then fall in love...and right when they think that nothing could make them unhappy...something horrible happens..........but at the end it’s a happy ending............ughhh......how boring~~~~”

“..................................”

minwoo didn’t say anything because he honestly agreed with what she said.....so he just kept quiet......

seeing that minwoo wasn’t planning to say anything.....Hannah started twisting around in her seat looking around at other passengers on the plane.......then she suddenly stopped and sat in her seat with a look of disgust on her face......

“...shit....hey hey!...minwoo lee!...look over there.....look at those two couples in the front...why do they have to sleep in that sort of position??....hmph!...do they think that they’re the main characters of a stupid love story or something?.....ahhh...i wasted my eyes on looking at something stupid... once again!”

minwoo looked at where Hannah was pointing and saw a girl resting her head on her boyfriend’s shoulder.......

“...haha....don’t you believe in a thing called love between a girl and a guy??...or is that too corny for you??”

“...hmm...well...i grew up thinking that boys and a thing called love wasn’t worth all the trouble that they caused....i don’t exactly know why I came to that conclusion but Im ....pretty sure..... my ....father..... had..... something...... to........ do with it......”

“................”

as Hannah talked in a serious and a shaky voice minwoo was taken by surprise and didn’t know what how to respond to it....

since minwoo didn’t know how to respond to Hannah’s seriousness they were both stuck in an uncomfortable atmosphere.....

“....ahhh....im so bored......why can’t they show any good action movies instead of those stupid love stories~~??”

Hannah tried to change the uncomfortable atmosphere that she had created by complaining about the movie in a cheerful tone of voice again....

....and minwoo just returned his attention to his labtop and notebook.....

“......................”

“.....................”

Hannah started to twist and turn in her seat again.....but seeing that there wasn’t anything fun to do she sat back down in her seat and let her gaze slowly drift to minwoo’s labtop

“..................”

she stared at the labtop for a long time and stared at all those words that was on the screen in english.....then her head started to hurt

“...hey!!...isn’t there any games on this thing??”

“no”

“...eh?....none??.....there must be some kind of game......like minesweeper or solitaire....right??”

“....why??...”

minwoo took his eyes off the labtop screen and looked at her weirdly......it was unlike her to act so......childish.....

“...im just soooo bored.....so I was thinking maybe I could play some games on your labtop....you do have games on there don’t you??”

“...nope...none”

he made it clear to Hannah that there weren’t any games on his labtop then started working on his labtop again

“...aish...what kind of guy doesn’t have any games in a labtop??”

minwoo just ignored Hannah and kept working...“......................”

“......................”

“..................”

“....................”

what kind of guy doesn’t have any games?Why is this movies so corny?Why is this plane so freakin quiet??

Hannah complained about everything that she could possibly complain about and it has been exactly ten minutes since she had stopped talking...

When minwoo couldn’t hear Hannah’s whining voice complain about the most weirdest things he found it odd so he slowly turned his head around and looked to his right....

Then he gave a small grin at what he saw

Hannah had a blanket that said korean air on her all the way up to her neck and was quietly sleeping....

Anyone could tell by the way Hannah was sleeping that she really was tired today....

After reading all those comic books until dawn she had to wake up the next morning, get ready, and then put on a fantastic show at the engagement for both of their parents.....it was almost a definite thing for her to get cranky and annoyed.....

Minwoo stared at Hannah for a short while then he just grinned at her sleeping form and returned to his work....

*tahk*(sound of Hannah’s head falling onto minwoo’s shoulder..-.-;;)

minwoo felt something on his shoulder so he turned his head and looked at what was on his shoulder and saw Hannah’s head resting on his shoulder.....

“..hey.....Hannah Choi......lift your head...”

“......ehhhhhhh...”

minwoo was surprised at this and he tried to lift Hannah’s head but she just kept her head on his shoulder.....

he gave Hannah’s sleeping form an exasperated look and then slowly grinned...

“..kekeke....”

<“...shit....hey hey!...minwoo lee!...look over there.....look at those two couples in the front...why do they have to sleep in that sort of position??....hmph!...do they think that they’re the main characters of a stupid love story or something?.....ahhh...i wasted my eyes on looking at something stupid... once again!”>

minwoo remembered Hannah’s complaints about the couple in front of them and their sleeping pose and he tried to contain his laughter but he couldn’t help it and he quietly chuckled to himself....

[...Hannah Choi.....i don’t know if I should call you a hypocrite or what......you complain about people doing things and you seem to end up doing it yourself.........you told me how much you hate it when girls rest their heads on a guy’s shoulder and look at you now....]

since Hannah was sleeping on his shoulder minwoo couldn’t continue his work............and a few minutes later........minwoo also fell asleep.......


-we are about to land onto the frankfurt airport so will the passengers please put their seatbelts on-

as minwoo heard the announcement from the intercom he slowly opened his eyes

“...hey!...wake up....we’re here!!...”

“...hmmmmm....”

as minwoo shook Hannah’s shoulder to wake her she slowly opened her heavy eyes...

“...haaaa...i had a good night’s sleep.............huk!”

Hannah noticed the position she was in and she turned surprised eyes toward minwoo

[huk!.....where did I rest my head while I was sleeping?.....i couldn’t have............]

minwoo looked at Hannah questioningly after seeing her eyes go wide in surprise...

and Hannah just looks at minwoo’s right shoulder...then looks back at his face....and then looks down on his shoulder....and looks up at his face again

“...what?....”-minwoo

“...umm....i didn’t..........”“?”

Hannah looked at him

“....i didn’t rest my head on your shoulder or do anything corny like that while I was sleeping right?”

“...kuku....i don’t know...”

minwoo chuckled to himself as he finally understood why Hannah was so surprised...

............Hannah and minwoo........seems to be more closer now......more than they were before............

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“...so what do we have to do now?...”-Hannah

as Hannah got onto the escalator she asked minwoo what they were gonna be doing now

“..hmm...first we have to ride a train for 3 more hours.....”

“...ack!....you want me to ride a train???....”

“...??...”

“...shit....my butt is gonna turn into a pancake if we keep going like this!!...first we sit in the stupid plane for god knows how many hours and now a TRAIN?!?!”

“..if u don’t want to then you don’t have to...nobody’s making you...you can just go to any old hotel and spend your time there....we don’t want your poor butt to turn into a pancake~~~”

“...hey!...minwoo lee!!....you!!...huh?...hey!!....wait up....!!!....don’t go by yourself!!!!”

as Hannah heard minwoo’s sarcastic voice again she prepared herself to yell at him for it...but even before she got started minwoo began walking away and started getting mixed up with the crowd....Hannah started yelling at the top of her lungs to slow him down so that she can go after him...

[.....hey~~.....i dunno any other language then korean~~....T.T]

Hannah started to run toward minwoo

“...hah.....hah......hah......you piece of crap!.....you should know that the only language I speak is korean!!.....just wait until we get back to korea......i’m gonna kill you then...”as soon as Hannah got caught up with minwoo she bent over and started gasping for air..... and she glared at him for trying to ditch her....

and totally ignoring Hannah’s mean stares minwoo just kept grinning

“...where are we going??...”

“prybrook.......”

“...huh?...what brook??..”

“......-.-;;....prybrook...”

minwoo answered Hannah’s question with a patience of an adult explaining something to a child.....

....anyone can see.....that...Hannah and minwoo’s relationship had gotten better.....

........................................................................................................................................


After a few hours on the train Hannah and minwoo finally arrived at prybrook...

...prybrook was a town that was over 900 years old...there were about 200 thousand people living in this town.......the air and water is fresh and clean........and the english people loved to come to this town and would have loved to live in prybrook if they could because it was so pretty....

during the train ride to prybrook Hannah was mostly quiet and just kept gazing out the window in awe of the beauty as they got closer and closer to prybrook.... and different from Hannah’s reaction....minwoo’s face got darker and darker as they were approaching prybrook

“...wow....these houses are really pretty~”

as they were on their way to the house that they were supposed to spend their time at Hannah compliments the houses they pass by....

and then Hannah and minwoo arrived to his house........the house was 2 stories high and it was a light brown.........a very pretty house...........minwoo went to the front door and took his keys out to unlock the door....

“...come in...”

minwoo quietly calls Hannah to come inside the house....

since they’ve arrived to this house minwoo had not shown the slightest sign of emotion or facial expression....he just kept his face blank....

and

inside

that blank face of his

there was sadness...

a deep sadness

and noticing how quiet minwoo was with no sarcastic comments to her....Hannah kept quiet...........

she walked into his house and was blinded by all the whiteness that enveloped her.......

as soon as Hannah entered the house minwoo took the bags that were in her handsafter he set them down in the living room he walked over to her and talked to her quietly

“.....if you go upstairs to the 2nd floor that’s where your room is”

“...k....”

as soon as minwoo was done talking Hannah headed upstairs

bbeek bbeek (sound of the creaking stairs...-.-;;)

as Hannah carefully steps on the stairs the wood makes creaking sounds that echoed throughout the quiet house

and soon after Hannah was upstairs....minwoo sighed and sat down on the couch.... he leaned his head on the couch and just stayed like that.........

then he sighed again

“...hah...”

it has been exactly 3 yrs since minwoo has been here

minwoo got frustrated and got out a cigarette which was a habit to him now.....

then.....

minwoo pauses......and puts the cigarette back into his pocket....

the only reason....minwoo could put his cigarette away so easily was because minwoo could so easily recall what nalae did when he ever took a cigarette out....a picture of her taking his cigarette away and scolding him for it slowly formed in his head

[.....i thought I had forgotten you........i lived day by day telling myself that you were nothing to me............that I had forgotten you..........i worked in the office like I was half crazy........and I dated all those different girls................i thought I finally erased you....but I come back here............and even though it’s been 3 years...........your memory is still so fresh in my mind..............im still the same person that you left 3 years ago..........the only things that has changed during the 3 years is the way you feel about me now.......and the way time just passes by..........i was afraid I might feel this........i didn’t want to feel the sadness at the memories of you.............damn............i shouldn’t have come here with Hannah.........we should have gone to a hotel............i shouldn’t have come here......this place was where I spent the most happiest times of my life and the most saddest times of my life in..........................with you............................i shouldn’t have coe to this damned place...........]

“.....hah......minwoo lee.......what the hell are you thinking?...”

minwoo covered his face with his two hands and talked to himself in a voice that came from the deepest part of him

[....how am I suppose to stay here for 2 weeks in this house where I lived with you..?]

“...hey!!....minwoo lee!!!”

Hannah broke minwoo’s deep thoughts as she came running down the stairs yelling his name......

“???”-minwoo

“.........................i saw two beds in one bedroom...................does that mean that I have to spend 2 weeks in the same room as you?”

Hannah yelled at minwoo because she was so shocked at what she found out....

“....ionno...”

“....what kind of answer is that?!........shit.........tell me if I have to sleep in the same room as you!!!”

“...i don’t care.....it’s all up to you.......if you do want to sleep in the same room as me then u do......and if you don’t then you have to sleep on the living room sofa......”

Hannah’s shock turned to anger as she heard minwoo’s careless tone of voice...she looked at minwoo and tried her best to control her anger........then she talked back to him....in a too calm of a voice.....

“...how bout you sleep on the living room sofa??.....you told me that you were a bastard that treats girls good right??........so in order for you to keep that reputation you can’t make me sleep here on the sofa~.......”

“..Hannah Choi.....i want to sleep in the same room as you.....you’re the one who’s having a problem with it......so the simple solution to that is that you sleep on the living room sofa since you’re the one with the problem..........”

Hannah got angrier at his sarcastic voice.......

“...hey!!...”

“...let’s stop this.......im too tired to fight with you right now plus im not in a good mood...and I don’t want to bother a little girl like you anymore......so just do whatever you feel like......if you wanna sleep in the room then go ahead......and if you wanna sleep in the cold living room.....then you can go ahead and do that also.......”

as minwoo said this irritably he headed for the stair and left Hannah staring after him

Hannah knew there was something wrong with minwoo since all he did was frown and talk in a cranky voice......but she had no clue that the cause of his crankiness was because memories of the past he had spent here with nalae 3 years ago were coming back to him

[.....i will sleep in the living room........im not gonna just take down my flag and just go in after you and sleep in the same room......]

after she washed herself.....Hannah took blankets and pillows downstairs and layed down on the sofa

“....just to let you know.....there is no heater downstairs.......”

minwoo told Hannah as he was going upstairs after he had a drink of water from the refrigerator...

“...i don’t care!!....it doesn’t matter to me if I freeze to death while im sleeping here!!! So long as I don’t have to see your face~!!!”

Hannah yelled at minwoo’s back but minwoo just ignored her and walked upstairs and closed the door

as soon as minwoo closed the door Hannah pulled her blankets up to her chin and tried to force herself to sleep......

“.....ughh.......ish cold.........huk”

it was only november but as Hannah talked she could see her breath

Hannah tried to cover her whole body with the blanket and as she talked to herself she was surprised that she could see her own breath.......if it’s already this cold then it’ll be like a freezer down here by 2am.....

Hannah was beginning to have second thoughts about sleeping downstairs....

[...should I just throw away my pride and just go upstairs and sleep??]

“...no no....i don’t want to do that.....”

finally Hannah decides to just sleep downstairs because of her pride and she pulls her blanket all the way over her head and falls asleep shivering.........


“..ah choo!...ah shiet...i caught a cold....-.-..”

Hannah was sitting down at the table with minwoo trying to eat breakfast but she kept coughing and sneezing....

...and minwoo watched Hannah’s pitiful form with amusment....

“..ah choo!...aish....i got a runny nose....i need tissue!!....”

“..keke..”

“...don’t laugh....this is all your fault.......ah choo!.....ick....runny nose....aish...”

“...puhahahahahhaha...”minwoo’s laughter filled the house and Hannah stopped blowing her nose and looked up at him with surprised eyes....

[.....it was the first time....that Hannah had heard him laugh so openly and happily...they were always short laughs of amusment or chuckles....but this is the first time he laughed so openly.....]

“...keke....Hannah Choi.....just come into the room and sleep...”

“...n.....no......how can I trust you and sleep in the same room as you??...”

“...when you look at an elementary student....do you want to kiss them or anything??...”

“..no...”

“same here....when I look at you I feel like im looking at some elementary kid...”

“....wh......what????...”

[...i can’t believe you can damage my self esteem this way....T.T....]

Hannah put jam on her toast and was glaring at minwoo...wen all of a sudden she smiles evily and looks at minwoo with mischief in her eyes....

but.....minwoo who kept grinning because he had dissed her had no idea what was going on through Hannah’s head and did not recognize the dangerous glint in her eyes...

“...minwoo lee...”

“...??...”

“....this is revenge for dissing me...”

“...shit....hey!!!...Hannah Choi!!!...”

Hannah had called minwoo in a serious tone of voice and hearing her voice he had stopped laughing and turned his attention to her with a serious expression.....but.... as soon as he faced her....Hannah pasted jam onto his face and smeared it all over with her hand...

then Hannah sat back and looked at minwoo with laughing eyes as she saw the strawberry jam dripping from the side of his face...

...minwoo was so surprised at Hannah’s action that he just sat there for a second not knowing what to do....but then...he finally got his head straight and ran into the bathroom to wash off all of the strawberry jam....

“...just wait until I get out of the bathroom....Hannah Choi....you’re gonna die...”

minwoo took a few seconds from washing his face to glare at Hannah and then started washing his face again....

but Hannah didn’t even flinch at minwoo’s threats

[...it’s not like he’s gonna hit me or kill me...]

after a few more washes minwoo finally felt the sticky feeling go away and he came out of the bathroom drying his face with a towel....then he walked quickly over to Hannah’s side and grabbed her wrist.....

“...hey!!...whas wrong wit u??”

Hannah’s eyes turned into rabbit eyes as she stared at minwoo in surprise....

“...i told you....as soon as I get out of the bathroom...you’re dead...”

as soon as minwoo was done talking Hannah started shrinking away in fear...

[huk!...what was I thinking...this guy would hit me or kill me if he said he would...]

minwoo slowly smiled at Hannah and dragged her into the kitchen....

“..hey hey!...im sorry~~...please forgive me~~~...”-Hannah

Hannah tried to apologize to minwoo before he did anything but minwoo just ignored her and dragged her into the kitchen by her wrist...

Hannah looked at the jam on the table and started to be afraid

minwoo stared at the table and then he quickly picked something up....

“..hey hey!!....u cheap bastard....it was a joke....i can’t believe you’re gonna do the same thing on me!!....i said I was sorry~~....so don’t put jam on my fa-“

“..hey shuddup and take this...”

Hannah had her eyes closed and was yelling at minwoo thinking that he was gonna put jam on her....but he pushed some pills in front of Hannah’s face and wen she saw them her eyes got big with surprise...

“...what is this??...pills??...”

“...well duh!...now hurry up and eat them.....and from now on you’re gonna sleep upstairs.... alright?!...”

Hannah slowly nodded her head at minwoo’s question after taking the pills...

[ I can’t help it....when he starts being all nice and serious....i don’t know how to react..he acts like he cares for me sometimes....and I don’t understand why I feel so happy wen he cares for me.....]


“..hey!!..Hannah Choi!!!...get up!!...we have to go somewhere today!!”

minwoo had a white knit shirt on and was waking Hannah up who was sleeping on the bed nex to his....

“..again??...where are we gonna go now??..”

Hannah didn’t bother opening her eyes under the blanket but rather just asked minwoo in a whining voice where they were going this

time...

but....

nobody could blame Hannah for her crankiness....it has already been 4 days since they had arrived here and all Hannah and minwoo had done was go around meeting people that Hannah didn’t know ...

if Hannah had to go to another english person’s house and just sit there like a doll smiling and listening to conversations that she didn’t understand....she was sure that she would go crazy....

it was hard for Hannah to feel what normal girls her age feel.....it was hard for her to feel appreciative toward her parents....and it was hard for her to show any kind of love toward her fiancee....

and it was hard for her to smile so happily

“..just get up...”

minwoo talked to Hannah in a soft voice and he had a child-like smile on his face waiting for Hannah to wake up and get ready....

and Hannah listened to minwoo’s voice under the soft blankets not knowing what was reality and wat was a dream....she felt like she was lying on some fresh grass listening to the wind and feeling the warm sun against her cheeks....

“.......ahmmm.....alright alright....i’ll get up...stop yelling...-.-”

Hannah finally gave up sleeping at minwoo’s voice and started getting up....

[actually to tell you the truth....i didn’t want to keep hearing your voice and feeling all these different things that I’ve never felt before and keep getting confused....]

Hannah sat up on her bed and stared at minwoo who was sitting on the edge of her bed

since Hannah had only seen minwoo in black or brown buisness suits it was a shock to her seeing minwoo in a white knit shirt.....

she sat there for several minutes.....motionless.....and just stared at him....

“...Hannah Choi!!...”

“..huh.........huh??..”

“...why are you staring at me like that?...”

“...huh?....oh...just cuz.....you look different today....that’s all...”

“..ha.....go wash your face and talk.....”

Hannah murmured an answer to minwoo’s question while staring at his shirt...and minwoo smiled widely and hit Hannah lightly on her head....

“...aish....you hit me...”

“...hurry up and get ready~....we have to go somewhere...”

minwoo got off the bed and walked out the door giving Hannah privacy to change into her clothes.....Hannah stared at the door for a long time and then slowly started getting up to change....

“...hey!!!...don’t wear anything formal like you did before but wear something casual-.......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....”

suddenly the second floor got very quiet....minwoo had walked in on Hannah wen she was changing from her yellow hooded baggy shirt to a nice formal looking shirt......Hannah and minwoo stared at each other.....

under the yellow hooded shirt.....was a tank top in a very thin material.....so thin that it was almost see-through (also known as nahn neen goo)....minwoo saw Hannah’s small skinny body and her small waste....

Hannah was too shocked to think of pulling her shirt down which was up to her shoulders and just stared at minwoo.......for a few minutes there was no movement....

“..ah!....sorry sorry!....go ahead.....and...umm...keep dressing!...”

“...ahh.....you pervert!!....ughh....minwoo lee!!!....shit....you’re gonna die!...”

how much time had passed??

Minwoo...smiled slyly and walked out of the door as quickly as he could....

...as soon as minwoo walked out of the door.....Hannah forgot all about changing and started throwing clothes at minwoo’s back even though he had already closed the door and left.....

Hannah yelled at minwoo to cover up her embarassment but it only made her sound funnier to minwoo.....

“...keke...”

[I can’t believe I can laugh even though I was shocked as you were...........it was funny seeing how you reacted.......i don’t think seeing you so surprised and shocked was necessarily a bad thing.....seeing your bony body was not that shocking....but.....it was so funny watching you try to cover up your embarassment.........actually....rather then funny...it was cute........haha...i guess I’ve finally gone crazy.....or is it because.................]

bbeek bbeek

“...wh..........where......are.....we going??.....///////// ”

Hannah came down the creaking stairs in a big gray shirt and blue jeans.....she talked to minwoo awkwardly .........

[...shit.....why is my face turning red.....]

Hannah tried to hide her red face by not looking at minwoo in the face but instead looked down at her shoes....

and watching Hannah’s actions minwoo grinned widely in an amused way....

[...you’re such a child.....you don’t have to be so embarassed and shy about it...]

it has now become a habit to minwoo to call Hannah a child because of the way she acts....

[...you’re still a kid....a kid that’s selfish and rude...a kid that wants nothing to do with the rest of the world.....a kid that knows nothing of love........you’re just a ten year old kid...]

“...wh.....where are we going??...”-Hannah

“....oropha park...”

“....wh....what’s that??...”

“...an amusement park.....”

“....huh?.....really??”

Hannah suddenly lifts her head to stare at minwoo as soon as she heard him say amusement park.....

minwoo gave her a small smile

“....come on....let’s go...”

“................................”

“...hurry up and put on your seatbelt......”

“....................”

Hannah obediently put on her seatbelt without saying anything

“....why aren’t you talking??....”

“..........................”

“......is it cuz....of .....what....happened earlier??....”

“....i.....i don’t know...///////.....just drive....you jerk....”

Hannah’s face turned red again as minwoo mentions what happened earlier....

“...keke....i didn’t know Hannah Choi could be like this.....keke....you’re face is totally red.....how funny...”

“....shut up......////////.....”

Hannah turned her head around so that she was looking through the window and not at minwoo.....

“....you need to get fatter.......you’re too bony even for a girl.....”

“...wh.....what??...”

Hannah stared as minwoo was slowly turning the steering wheel....

“...i said you need to gain some weight.........gosh.....you’re not some kind of chop stick or anything.....so add some skin to yourself....”

“...shut up....i don’t have to do anything to myself so that I look good for you....why do you care if I’m skinny as a chopstick or fat??....it’s none of your buisness...”

“...i just thought that you were being really shy and stuff so I was just telling you so that you know that whenever I look at you I NEVER see you as a girl so don’t act stupid...”

“...hey!!!!”

for the first time in 4 days since they have arrived Hannah and minwoo were heading toward an amusment park to have some fun.....

DOByUK PRINCESS<<24>>

“...wow....this place is big~.... I feel like I’m at disneyworld....”-Hannah

there weren’t a lot of people at the oropha park yet and Hannah ran around with a bright smile looking around here and there......

Hannah had her hands in her pockets and ran around trying to look at everything at once

“...im gonna ride everything that’s in this park before I go home tonight!”-Hannah

Hannah took out a map of the amusement park and talked to herself while looking at it

it was new to minwoo to see Hannah so bright and happy.....it wasn’t like her......but after staring at Hannah’s happy face for a few seconds minwoo smiled to himself.....

“..hey hey!!!...let’s ride that one!”

“..........?...........”

Hannah was dragging minwoo by the arm to a scaring looking roller coaster

“....let’s ride that!!....go get our tickets~~”

“.....im not gonna ride it.....i’ll wait here while you ride it okay??...”

“....why??....”“...it’s stupid and a waste of time...”

“....-.-;;......be honest.....you’re scared huh?...”

Hannah asked minwoo in a taunting voice

“....yea that’s it.....im scared of it...”

“...chi....”

minwoo smiled and told Hannah that he was scared of the ride....he hadn’t fallen for the bait that Hannah had set but instead just

admitted that he was afraid of the ride..

“...hey~~....let’s ride it let’s ride it let’s ride it let’s ride it let’s ride it let’s ride it let’s ride it~~~....plz~~?”

“.....-.-....alright...”

Hannah whined in a small voice and minwoo gave her an exapserated look and finally gave in and went to go buy the tickets....

.....so.....the whole day....minwoo was being dragged around by Hannah riding everything that was in sight........but..........his face was just as bright as Hannah’s was....

“..hey.....let’s ride something that doesn’t go so fast anymore.....aish.....i’m gonna get sick if we keep going like this....”

minwoo was still getting dragged around by Hannah even thought it was starting to get dark and he finally pulled away from Hannah and asks to ride something that goes slowly in an annoyed voice......

“..why~~~?.....there’s still a lot of fun ones left!”

“...aren’t you tired??...”

“...NOPE....NEVER!”

“...geez...what kind of girl likes to ride every rollercoaster there is in this park?..... are you really a girl??”

Hannah looked at minwoo and started feeling a little sorry when she saw how tired he was

“...sorry....i forgot that you’re older then me....”

“........-.-.........it’s nice to know that you’re sorry.........if you know that im old then let’s stop riding these rides....”

minwoo smiled as he heard Hannah bring up the subject of their age differences....

“..........okay...............”-Hannah

Hannah looked down at her shoes and just kicked them around on the grass

...her face looked disappointed....

“...aish....get up.....why do you have to act like it’s the end of the world if you can’t ride some rides at this amusment park??”

minwoo couldn’t watch Hannah’s disappointed face any more so he grabbed her arm and pulled her up....

and Hannah immediately had a bright smile on her face

“...heh....”

Hannah smiled to herself and minwoo started to chuckle watching her

[Hannah Choi..............i don’t think I’ll ever be bored wen im around you]

“...but!....you have to ride this first!...”-minwoo

minwoo started heading toward the train that goes around the whole park

Hannah frowned slightly

“..hey look!...we didn’t ride that one.....aish.....”

Hannah and minwoo were inside the train and she poked at minwoo pointing to a rollercoaster that they hadn’t went on yet looking as if she was really disappointed that she didn’t ride it

“...hah.....is this the first time yoyou’ve been to an amusement park??...why do you act like it??...”

“...........................”

“...you seem like yoyou’ve been dying to go to an amusement park....”

“.....i guess.....you...can say that......”

minwoo was just teasing Hannah but Hannah’s face suddenly got dark and serious and she answered him in a low voice...

“.....???....”

“.....my perfect unni was afraid of almost everything....and thanks to her I never got to ride a rollercoaster before.......that is...before I went into junior high and went places with my friends....”

“......................”

“.....................”

“.........why do-...”

“...why do I hate my sister so much?...”-Hannah

Hannah cut minwoo off and looked at him as if she expected him to ask her this question

“...my unni was the opposite of me as soon as she was born......she was smart.......she was pretty......she had a great personality....so she was loved by my parents.....and then....1 year later I was born.....i was stupid....and I always caused trouble at school........my parents were always called to the office for counselour meetings....but of course they never came....not even once.....so...my parents never cared about me...they didn’t care what time I came home...or what I did....or how I was living my life....not even if I got sick or hurt......they never even came to my graduation.....they didn’t even ask to see my diploma.......i was just the person with the title of the youngest daughter in the family...i was just the common flower that gets looked at once or twice....but my unni was the beautiful rose....kuku....to sum it all up...no matter how bad I was no matter how stupid I was....there was once a time when I wanted to gain my parents’ love and affection too..... my jealousy toward my unni just turned into hatred over the years....”

“.................”

“...hey minwoo lee!!....don’t look at me like that!..cuz......im alright...”

Hannah force a smile because of the way minwoo was looking at her....but it only made it the atomsphere more awkward....

Hannah turned her gaze outside the window to look at all the rollercoasters again...but her face no longer had the bright happy smile like it did before....her face was dark.....

actually....

she looked.....

really

sad....

[Hannah Choi.......i didn’t know that you could look so sad....]

“..............”

“..................”

a soft silence surrounded Hannah and minwoo.....

and minwoo watched Hannah with sad eyes....

...Hannah avoided looking into minwoo’s eyes...

[...why did I tell you??.....i lived for 20 years not telling anybody and keeping it to myself.....i was being stupid wen I told you.......i shouldn’t have told you....i should have just kept it to myself....forever and ever....just to myself......i should have just kept acting like the trash-like devil Hannah Choi...why....why....did I tell you?......i guess.....it was because you are the first person that has ever treated me kindly like you have lately..... but.....your eyes look at me....full of pity now.....i shouldn’t have told you....]

“...wow.....we didn’t ride that one eith-..”

“..............................if you want to cry......then cry.........but don’t try to hold it back by acting all tough....cuz that’s stupid....”

Hannah tried to break the silence but minwoo cut her off in a soft voice while touching her short cut hair.....

....and....as if his voice was magically charmed......Hannah felt sadness over whelm her....she felt tears stinging her eyes.....but....like

always...Hannah tried her best to hold them back...

[minwoo lee........don’t make me cry....stop being so nice to me....cuz you might really make me cry.....stop it......if you keep doing this.........i.......might......just really.....come to trust you...................]

“...what are you talking about...?......i was........never sad...”-Hannah

“...........................”

Hannah stopped minwoo’s hand from touching her hair and gave him a small smile...

“...why don’t you wipe your tears before you talk??...”

the tears that Hannah tried to hold back were suddenly being wiped away by minwoo’s hand......

[...minwoo lee.......thank you...this is the first time I felt this toward you....actually...this is the first time I ever felt this toward another human being.......this feeling of gratitude... thank you....for helping me know what it feels like to be thankful.....]


A scar that’s been made to a heart.....goes long.....and makes the person who wears that scar miserable....it’s worse than a physical injury or scar.....a scar that’s been made on a heart is worse....nobody can see how much you’re hurting inside....you bleed invisible blood and you always seem to change for the worse because of all the pain......and....there never seems to be a person who understands what you’re going through and help you cope with the sadness.....

And when someone or something somehow helps you....even if it’s just a little bit.... it seems to just bring all your sadness out to the open.....and the tears seem like it won’t ever stop........this is a scar that has been made to a person’s heart......

“...hah......shit....get away from me..........im starting to cry because you keep touching my hair.........”

it’s been long since she has cried....

and once the tears started...it doesn’t seem to stop.......

hot tears fell down her cheeks....................and Hannah was disgusted with herself for crying in front of minwoo like this........even though her whole body was shaking...the tears wouldn’t stop.................part of the reason might be because of how minwoo was softly brushing her hair and was being so nice to her......

“....i don’t need your pity!.............get your hand away from me.......”

“.........................................”

inside the train that was riding on a long rail Hannah was crying uncontrollably and with her right hand she kept trying to wipe her tears away and stop them from falling and with her left hand she pulled minwoo’s hand away from her hair....

“...shit.......i’m fine........i’m fine.....................im................fine...........just.......fine”

“whew.......Hannah Choi.....you....really........”

............even though Hannah was saying that she was alright and was denying the fact that she was crying her body showed how much she had been hurt and how much she had been in pain

[your face

your tears.....

they tell of your sadness and pain.....

your body tells of how you purposely turned bad to get attention......whew........ are you hurting as much as me?..........]

“....crap.......you better not make fun of me because I cried.....”

“...keke....how am I suppose to let such an oppurtunity pass me by??”

“chi....you’re the one who made me cry......”

after the train went around the whole park it stopped at the station again....and that’s when Hannah stopped her tears and rubbed her swollen red eyes....

and Hannah punched minwoo lightly as she heard his teasing voice.......

then Hannah got off the train and minwoo followed her rubbing the spot where she had hit him...................he had a bright happy smile on his face.............................

“...hey...is my face all messy??...”

as Hannah got into minwoo’s car she turned her face toward his and asked him if her face was dirtied by her tears......

“...keke.....it’s bad~~...”

“...really??...that bad??”

minwoo pushed her away and chuckled.......and Hannah frowned at his answer

“....yup.....i have never seen a girl with your kind of face before....”

“......hey!!.....you’re the one who made me cry you jerk!!!........geez......by the way....is it really that weird that I cried?...”

“...yea....”

minwoo answered Hannah straight forward with no hestitaion...

minwoo’s car was already speeding out of the amusement park and was headed home....

“...chi......all girls cry alike...”

Hannah blinked because of the irritating feeling on her eyes....

“...nope never!.....even though I’ve seen girls with mascara dripping from their eyes...i’ve never seen a girl cuss while she’s crying....”

“...that..........that’s cuz....they want to look good in front of you......i don’t want to look good in front of you and I don’t really see why I have to.....that’s.....that’s why...”

“.ha...whatever...”

“.....aish......why do you keep laughing at me??”

Hannah yelled at minwoo for laughing at her.....she looked as if she was embarrassed because of the fact that she cried......then Hannah closed her eyes and tried to get comfortable in an attempt to sleep.....

[you know what..........minwoo lee I think that you’re a good person.....maybe that’s why so many girls like you........even though im a brat......you treat me with kindness and patience.....and im so grateful for that..............no matter how stupid I am no matter how bratty I am.....no matter how trash-like I am......i can always tell the difference between good people and bad people....

and........

I think.....that......

Out of all the people I’ve met........

You are

the.......

most...................]

“....hey! Hannah Choi!!....are you sleeping??..”

“...............”

“....hmm....you must be sleeping then.....”

“...no im not sleeping.......why?.....”

“....nothing......”

“......you idiot....this is why I cuss at you.........if you’re gonna wake up a sleeping person you might as well tell that person why you woke them up instead of saying ‘nothing’.....”

“....the reason why I called you was cuz...........”

“??”

“...just to say thanks...”

“......-.-......for what?......”

“...for crying....”

“...oh really?......you must be thankful since you have something to make fun of me about now....”

“...haha.....well...that and........i dunno.....i just feel thankful toward you for crying......i don’t know why.......”

“.............................”

[........minwoo lee...........

out of all the people I’ve met in my life........

you

seem like......

the nicest

and

the best.....]

..................................................................................................................................................


A place where there has once been a waterfall changes for the better so that it’s more beautiful and cleaner........

And just like that....

After Hannah had cried and let her sadness come out of her....she started to change.... but Hannah didn’t know that she was changing...she started going through thoughts and feelings that she had never felt before...and since she has never went through these things she became frustrated and expressed her frustration physically.........toward minwoo....

“..hey minwoo lee!!....let’s go out today!!”

after Hannah put up her short shoulder length hair in the best pony tail that she could manage she went over to minwoo’s bedside and started pulling on his shirt to wake him up....

“..i dun wanna.........go away............don’t bother me.......”

“...come on you jerk.....let’s go play~~~~”

“..go play with some guy that’s not a jerk........and leave a sleeping person alone so that he can sleep in peace.......”

minwoo slapped Hannah’s hand away from his shirt and pulled his blanket over his head

“..if this was korea I wouldn’t ask an idiot like you to play with me!...but this is england...T.T...and I don’t even understand what these people talk about!!!....so can’t you just play with me....a little~~ bit~~?”

“..........................”

“...hey~!!...i wanna go play!!...play play play play!!!”

“..aish..”

minwoo finally gave up to Hannah’s whining voice and pulled his blanket off of him

and then he glared at Hannah

“..hey....don’t..........look at me like that................ish scary.......”

“...if I scare you then just don’t wake me up...”

“..i won’t wake you up in the future but since you’re already up let’s go somewhere”

minwoo had no other Choice but to get off his bed......so he did and he headed toward the bathroom....

and watching minwoo’s actions Hannah bit her lip to stop herself from smiling widely

“...since we’re going out I wanna do something first.....”

“.....what is it?.....”

“....instead of taking a car we’re gonna go to the marketplace and on the way back we’ll buy something to eat for breakfast.....”

after washing in the bathroom minwoo came out and told Hannah what he wanted to do

“...marketplace??....we can go there later at night.....”

“......they only open till 6:00 here in england.....”

“...what a crappy country...”

“...haha..”

Hannah frowned at what minwoo said and he gave a small laugh watching Hannah’s reaction

one thing that korea and england had in common was the changing of the seasons....it was almost winter now....and the cold wind seems to get to your skin no matter what you wear....

“.........................”

“........................”

the street that led to the marketplace was quiet

Hannah glanced at minwoo from the corner of her eye and gave a small smile

[...i dun wanna admit it........but..........he is good looking....-.-;;]

straight nose

deep dark eyes..........and hidden within those eyes was the pain.......

not too small and not too big lips

silver colored hair

stubborn chin

“......stop staring at me..........”

did he feel her gaze on him??

Minwoo covered Hannah’s eyes with his long skinny fingers

His touch felt warm and soft......

[minwoo lee........i used to hate you........i used to think you were good for nothing...... but when I look at you now...............i don’t feel like that............i feel things that I don’t understand..........what am I feeling??]

“....let’s eat breakfast first.....”

as he said that minwoo led Hannah to mcdonalds

“.....what do you wanna eat?....”

“.....bulgogi burger!....” (..they really do have bulgogi burgers in korea.......ick!)

“...they don’t have that here......-.-;;”

“why?”

minwoo looked at Hannah with eyes wide with surprise

“....you’re stupid aren’t you?.....”

“...what?.....-.-...”

“....try thinking logically....what kind of food is bulgogi?...”

“....korean.....”

“....where are we right now?....”

“...england...”

Hannah answered minwoo’s simple questions

“...then do you think.....that they would sell korean food here?...in england?”

“...ohh yea...”

Hannah nodded in comprehension as she finally understood what minwoo was talking about...

....minwoo hit her on the head in exasperation

“...you really must be dumb.....haha”

“I don’t see anything funny..... you ass....”

Hannah rubbed her head and glared at minwoo for hitting her.....but after a few seconds Hannah relaxed and grinned along with minwoo

[......minwoo lee........whenever im with you

I feel..............so.............comfortable..............

And I like that.......

I like it

I like it

I

Like

It...........]


“...WOW....there’s a lot of yummy things here”

KAUFHAUS

As soon as they walked into kaufhaus Hannah went into the bakery store first....Hannah just stared at the different shapes and colors of the bread that they were selling....

“..minwooya~~....buy me this brea-..”

as she was about to ask minwoo to buy her bread she clamped her mouth shut in surprise

minwooya........the way she suddenly talked to minwoo in a friendly way scared her....

[....what’s wrong with me today?

This whole morning I felt weird things....

Weird....

Things....

Weird......

Something wrong happened at the amusement park........

Ever since we got back from there I started feeling confusing things......]

Hannah didn’t finish her sentence when she realized what she called minwoo.....but minwoo didn’t know that and just looked at her oddly...

“...what??....finish what you were gonna say..”

“...huh?...oh...i just wanted you to get me this bread...”

“..aigoo....you pig....is food all you think about??...we just came back from mcdonalds and you’re gonna-.....”

*-pUhK (sound of Hannah punching minwoo)

“...just shut up and buy the bread...”

Hannah punched minwoo with a strength that no regular girl could have and told minwoo to buy her bread....

“...you never even called home once since we’ve been here huh?”

“.................”

Hannah had a whole bunch of different kinds of bread in her arms and was smiling happily when minwoo asked her a question....

Hannah frowned

“...call.........call you’re house......they might be waiting for a phone call from you”

“..they’re not......i told you.........im nothing but trash to my family.....”

“....just call...”

“..no...........don’t tell me what to do....”

Hannah’s eyes turned cold

“...whew....let’s stop this..................are you gonna buy presents?”

“...no..........that’s so tacky........what person hasn’t been to england or to america yet?? Everybody’s been here....”

“...-.-.....well since im tacky I’m gonna buy presents.......so you stay here and play by yourself until I get back...........i’ll come back after I get all the presents.....”

“..hey!!...what am I suppose to do here by myself?”

“...if you don’t go back to your nasty habit that you have with you’re hands then there won’t be any problems...just stay here and don’t go anywhere else”

what presents is he gonna buy?

Hannah just stood in the center of kaufhaus and minwoo just walked off and disappeared among the crowds of people

[...damn......

this is gay

what am I suppose to do by myself?]

Hannah looked around here and there and then finally spotted a card store and headed toward there...

<“...call.........call you’re house......they might be waiting for a phone call from you”>

minwoo’s voice kept ringing in Hannah’s ear and she couldn’t forget what he had said

Hannah looked at the pretty cards and stationary that the store was selling

[......i was being mean and irritated with my sister for no reason on the day of the engagement...........should I send her a card?.............

that says hope you live happily ever after princess hanli?

Ha.....Hannah Choi.....what are you thinking?......there’s no point sending a card to that person....she wouldn’t even care......

Hanli Choi....

It doesn’t matter if I don’t send you a card since you get cards from so many other people right?

Since you’re such an angel you must get cards every day.......

Aish.........now im in a bad mood......]

Whenever Hannah thought about her unni she was always put into a bad mood.....and once again she frowned as she thought about her sister

“...what are you doing?”

Hannah had been looking at all the different cards and stationary for a long time now and somebody came up from behind her and tapped her lightly on the shoulder....

“...huh?...oh you’re back...”

Hannah turned around and faced minwoo

“...here!!...take these”

“..what is it?”

Hannah stared at the two shopping bags that minwoo put in front of her

“...these are presents for you’re parents...........and this is your unni’s present...”

“..i told you that this wasn’t necessary...”

as minwoo explained what each bag was for Hannah glared at minwoo angrily and spoke to him in a low voice...

“..i knew you wouldn’t like it if I bought it........that’s why I went by myself to pick them out.....just give these to you’re parents and you’re unni.........it’ll make you more comfortable with them.......”

“..i don’t want to get comfortable with them if this is what I have to do”

“..take it..”

minwoo looked at Hannah seriously and put the shopping bags into her hands

[....when you told me that you bought these presents because of me........i didn’t know what to do.......i didn’t know how to control my shaking heart........there has never been a person who was ever concerned about me or what I go through.........minwoo lee....don’t be so nice to me........don’t make me feel things that I don’t want to feel........don’t make me misunderstand your kindness for attraction............don’t........don’t...........]


The trip to england that Hannah had to go with minwoo was something that she had been dreading somehow went by quickly. In the mornings they walked along the streets and went to kaufhaus and did a little bit of shopping..........sometimes Hannah would whine that

she wanted to go somewhere so minwoo would drive over to different places just to please her....on the way home from these different places Hannah would beg for ice cream even though winter had settled in and it was freezing outside....

The two weeks that she had to spend with minwoo were spent like this and they were going home tomorrow....

“....we go to korea tomorrow.......”

Hannah said this as she chewed a piece of her bread during breakfast

“yea”

minwoo answered Hannah carelessly as his eyes looked over the newspaper that he held in his hands....

“...ughh.......i’m going to stay home and watch tv all day as soon as I get home!”

“why?”

“..what do you mean why??...so that I can listen to the beautiful korean language!... the past two weeks here have been really bad for my ears since I never understood a word that came out of anybody’s mouth except yours.....”

“...haha...”

minwoo turned his attention from his newspaper to Hannah and grinned at her...

“......................”-Hannah

[damnit..............watching you smile is just making my heart jump around........what’s wrong with me???]

Hannah had been frustrated with the feelings that had been overcoming her ever since their arrival to england...

whenever she looked at minwoo and he smiled at her one part of her heart would either shake uncontrollably or just stop......and Hannah had to put up with this for the past 2 weeks not knowing what the cause of this was............

“...huh?....it says here that there’s a wine festival today...”-minwoo

minwoo informed Hannah as he was reading down his newspaper

“..where?”

“prybrook........this place.....”

“...really??...since it’s called a wine festival there must be a lot of wine and beer right?”

“-.-....i can always trust you to take the literal meaning...”

as soon as she heard the word wine her eyes twinkled and came alive and Hannah asked minwoo excitedly about the wine festival

“...does it or does it not have wine and beer at the festival??”

“...well....yea....”

“..hmm....alright then!...let’s go there today!”

“where?...here?”

“...yep!”

Hannah threw away the bread that was in her hands and answered him in an eager voice with a determined look on her face...

“why?”

“....what do you mean why!!!...to drink of course!”

“...you...........drink beer??”

minwoo had always thought that girls didn’t drink beer because it was too strong for them.....and now listening to Hannah talk it was quite a shock to him that she does drink beer....

“..duh!...then...are there such people who can’t drink beer?”

Hannah looked at minwoo with eyes that said “you’re stupid” and answered minwoo in a bored voice as if she was stating the obvious....

“...this is the first time that I’ve seen a girl come alive at the mention of alcohol...”

“..is there a law that says girls can’t drink?!”

Hannah looked at him and he saw that she didn’t understand why he had said what he did......

“...of course there isn’t......but is there a law that says girls can’t smoke?”

“..of course not....why can’t girls smoke???....it’s a free country...”

“....-.-......you don’t....smoke do you??”

minwoo stared stupidly at Hannah.......it looks as if what she said to him had really shocked him....

“...not anymore...”-Hannah

“anymore??”

minwoo’s eyes got even bigger then they already were at the word “anymore” and he looked at her questioningly....

“...i once tried a cigarette just to go against what my parents said....but it tasted nasty so I quit...”

Hannah grabbed another piece of bread and stuffed it in her mouth as she answered minwoo carelessly

“........................”

[Hannah Choi...........you never fail to surprise me.......when I had thought that I had you all figured out you surprise me once again!.........i wonder when I will ever know all of you]

“...are you good at drinking?”-minwoo

“...let’s just say that I have never gotten drunk cuz there was never a time where I could drink until I wanted to stop....”

“...hmm...then I guess im going to be spending a lot of money today to see how much beer you can drink without getting drunk...”

“...keke...that’s a good idea......this is the first time since I’ve met you that I actually love and agree with what you said to me...”

Hannah looked at minwoo with fake loving eyes and brushed his hair with her hands......

and minwoo slapped her hands away jokingly and then grinned at her....

[minwoo lee......when you’re cold eyes smile along with your lips like it is doing right now your eyes turn so warm and loving that it actually fascinates me.........and it also makes me feel good inside....when I think to myself that your smile is for me.....that your smiling for me........it makes me feel so happy and warm inside...

is it because I have finally gone insane?]

the two weeks spent in england weren’t long....but they weren’t necessarily two short weeks either....

[the two weeks that I spent with minwoo

because of him I started to feel things that I didn’t want to feel again.......these emotions.... the last time I felt like this was when I was 9 years old....]

~when Hannah was 9 years old~

my jingyung unni that had worked at my house when I was young was my best friend....

I lived in darkness and confusion......confused as to why my parents didn’t love me like they did my sister......but.......jingyung unni always treated me with care and warmth...

On my birthday...

Unni worked hard......i might not know how hard she worked........but she worked hard and saved just enough money to buy me the most beautiful porcelain doll....

From that moment on the porcelain doll was the most precious thing that I owned from all of my belongings......

I was the daughter that nobody ever cared about because they had the pretty and smart hanli unni........but the small lips that never failed to smile.....and the big eyes that always looked at me kindly belonged to the porcelain doll and was the only reason I lived day by day

The porcelain doll

Was my only friendMy only familyShe was my other half...

I loved that doll........i loved it dearly.......

But one day......hanli unni offered to brush my doll’s perfect hair and took my precious porcelain out of my hands.............from that day on..i never saw my doll again........

w when she is 20~

[you are like that porcelain doll.....you understand me.....

but.....i might be making a mistake too....

I might be misunderstanding your warmth for something else.....

when you’re at a desert and you feel a cold breeze for the first time in a long while...you feel happy and wait for more since it’s been a long time since yoyou’ve felt something like that.......

and just like that

I’ve lived in hate and darkness for so long......that when I see you caring for me and I see you smiling at me brightly I can’t help but want more.....

For the 20 years that I have lived....i have never trusted anyone.....i never trusted anybody except jingyung unni who loved and cared for me....

I feel like......im beginning to trust you...........more and more........

I’m afraid of what might happen if I give my trust to you completely

What if I give you the love that I had given to my porcelain doll.....and somebody steals you away just like hanli stole away my doll?

If that happens.........

I..............

..........I...........

might fall into a black hole.........and I will never be the same ever again...................i’m afraid that might happen.... I’m so scare that might happen................

...................................................................................................................................................


“...aren’t you gonna have some??”

“..if I drink too then how are we gonna get home?!”

there were stands and stores that sold beer and wine since it was the wine festival....and Hannah was sitting on one of the provided chairs in one of the stores and was drinking beer....and watching Hannah drink minwoo claimed that he was the designated driver so he can’t drink....

“ugh...the beer tastes nasty”-Hannah

“do you want wine then?”

after cleaning out several beer cans Hannah frowns and throws away the last beer can in her hand and starts to complain...

“no no.....wine is too strong......and beer makes me feel full..........geez.......soju is the best....”

“............-.-;;;;............”

even though Hannah was complaining about the beer she grabbed another can of beer and opened it.....then she started gulping it down...

“..hey.....why don’t you stop drinking??....what kind of girl drinks this much beer???....”

“...it’s okay....this is nothing.....i’m not gonna get drunk with only this much beer...”

“..................”

Hannah blocked minwoo from trying to grab the can away from her and kept drinking...

minwoo didn’t know what to do as he watched Hannah drink......so he just sat there and let out a big sigh

“hey!!!.....minwoo lee!”-Hannah

Hannah woke minwoo up from his thoughts and he turned his head towards her...

“..........?............”

“....what was this nalae girl like???”

“.....................”

Hannah asked minwoo a question in a serious manner...........and minwoo just sat there silently....

[the way you said “what WAS this nalae girl like” makes me sad all of a sudden........is it because I still love nalae?]

“...hey...say something.......i’m really curious...”-Hannah

“...hummm.....nalae.....”

minwoo finally gave up to Hannah’s questions and slowly opened his mouth....

“...nalae....was just a pretty person.......when I first saw her it was when I first came to england.......i obeyed my parents wishes and came here to england to study.....but the day that I was suppose to be at school I couldn’t go because I didn’t understand where to go and I didn’t speak this language at that time so I walked here and there trying to figure out what to do by myself.... I ended up back at my house and I was looking around my neighborhood when a girl comes out of the house next door.....long black hair.....big eyes........white skin.........that’s what she looked like.......i don’t know why but I felt instantly comfortable....and I thought that maybe she was korean so I went up to her and asked her ‘are you korea?’.........and as soon as she heard me........that girl turned around... and smiled at me..............................and then.............................................”

[and then

I fell in love with her right away.......................and................i thought that maybe she loved me too.............but...............after a couple of years...........that girl left me......... saying that she found someone else.................and I haven’t been able to forget her..... I haven’t been able to forget her scent..........her essence...........and now here I am.........still in love with someone who has probably forgotten me by now.............]

“...............................”

“.............................”

“..ughhhh....the beer’s nasty here.......let’s go home....it’s getting chilly her anyways and it’s boring too......”-Hannah

as Hannah saw that minwoo couldn’t go on with his story she noticed how quiet the atmosphere got so she smiled brightly and told him that she wanted to go home as she playfully punched him lightly on his arm..........

[ I

cant see you like this............when I see you so sad and depressed like this......i suddenly

feel sad myself................]

“...minwoo?.....are you sleeping?”

Hannah and minwoo were in their dark rooms trying to sleep and the only sound that could be heard was their quiet breathing..............

Hannah opened her mouth and called minwoo hesitantly not wanting to wake him up if he was already sleeping.......

“...no............why?”

“........................................do............you.............still........like that nalae girl?”

Hannah waited for his answer......she tried not to feel nervous while she waited for his answer but she couldn’t help it.........

“.............................”

minwoo layed there quietly and didn’t say anything

[.......am I supposed to take your silence as a yes that you still do like that girl?.......if that’s the situation.........then...............i’m going to be..........very..........]

“........no............i’ve forgotten her......”

minwoo opened his heavy mouth and quietly gave Hannah the answer she was secretly hoping for..............

[.....the girl who left me and won’t ever return to me is forgotten.........]

after Hannah heard minwoo’s answer she turned her back toward him and opened her mouth...............

then in a voice barely above a whisper so that minwoo couldn’t hear her she she said..........

“......then.....is it okay if I like you?”


“...hey!!!!....hurry up!!!!”

“aish...alright!!!....stoopid jerk....even though I woke up a little late that doesn’t mean you have to keep clucking after me like a chicken!!!!”

“...i can hear everything that you’re saying...-.-++”

today was the day they return to korea....

after drinking all that beer yesterday and then finally realizing her feelings toward minwoo last night Hannah had not fallen asleep easily and because of that she woke up late this morning....

since it was a 1:00pm plane...they didn’t have to hurry that much....but Hannah was lagging when she was packing her things and when she finally started to come down the stairs step by step minwoo yelled at her to hurry up......

and hearing minwoo’s shouts and yells at her Hannah murmured to herself as she quickened her pace.....

in order to get from prybrook to frankfurt airport they had to ride 3 different train rides.....

minwoo suddenly remember Hannah’s complaints when they were riding on the train and then a sigh escaped from him....

[.......do I have to put up with your complains that your butt is gonna turn into a pancake?]

“..follow me...”

“..ah...this is heavy......hey!!....minwoo lee!!!!”

“............?..........”

they were passing by the markets that they had previously been to before on their way to the train station.......but as Hannah passed the ice cream store where minwoo had bought her ice cream several times she suddenly yells his name.....

“...........?..............”

Hannah was pulling along those bags with the wheels on the bottom of it.....and before they passed the ice cream store Hannah was murmuring to herself and complaining to herself.........but as soon as they pass the ice cream store and she yells his name minwoo turned around and looked at her.......he was curious as to what she was gonna complain about this time........

“...................................let’s..”

Hannah’s lips curved up and she looked at minwoo.......

“.......let’s get some ice cream before we go.....”

“..haha..”

minwoo looked at Hannah in an exasperated face but then soon turned it into a smile...

“...lets get some~~~”

“-.-........aren’t u cold??.........why do you want ice cream during the winter?”

“heh~~~.............im not cold one little bit..........so wait here okay?...i’ll go buy it...”

“...hey!!!”

Hannah deserted her bag and ran toward the ice cream store before minwoo could stop her....

“chocolate ice cream”

Hannah pointed at different ice cream flavors and told the person who works there what kind of ice cream she wanted......then she payed 5 dollars and came out of the store busy licking her ice cream

“...bye....”

Hannah said bye to the ppl that worked there with a small smile and then walked out

Hannah kept grinning to herself as she walked over to where minwoo was standing.....and watching her behavior minwoo began to chuckle....

“..keke....Hannah Choi....did you just speak english to them?”

“........-.-.............yes...”

“..haha....your accent was so bad I thought you were speaking korean to them”

“...shut up....”

kOoK kOoK kOoK kOoK

“...hey stop it!!!....”-minwoo

Hannah was so sick of minwoo’s teasing and saracasm that she began to poke his cheek with the end of her ice cream cone.....

minwoo frowned at her and yelled at her for poking him.....and as if Hannah expected this sort of reaction from him she ignored his complaints and kept poking him....

“.....heh......this is fun”

“.....-.-......stop it now cuz it hurts.....”

“...neva!”

“...if you keep poking me.....im gonna...”

“...gonna what?????”

Hannah ignored minwoo’s scary threats and kept poking....

“..i’m gonna..”

*-cRaCK

“eh????....hey!!!...minwoo lee!!!!”

“..hurry up...let’s go...”

minwoo bit off the end part of Hannah’s cone that she was poking him with and as soon as Hannah realized what minwoo had done her face began to water and she looked like she was about to cry..........but minwoo only grinned to himself with pleasure as he saw Hannah’s reaction and then walked off.....

they sat in a train for 4 hours and passed by different places that they had visited and then finally arrived at the frankfurt airport....

“...wow......we’re finally going home.....”

as soon as they stepped into the airport Hannah smiled brightly and talked with eagerness

“............................................why are you so happy??”

minwoo stared at her stupidly not understanding why she was so happy to go back home

“.......anybody who has lived where there are so many people with blonde hair and blue eyes will understand what I feel right now............YOU are the only person who doesn’t”

“..ha....”

the two weeks that they were supposed to spend together was finally over and they were going back home...............and in those two weeks a lot of things happened.........Hannah has realized what her feeling toward minwoo is.................................................................


It has been one month since they came back to korea.....and the seasons were coming and going......and just as the seasons were coming and going so did the weather....it was getting colder and colder everyday

“..ahh....i’m awake~!”

Hannah came out of her room as she was trying to do with her hair..........and her hair was no longer shoulder length.....but came down more......

Hannah had a cute mickey mouse pajamas on and was having a hard time finding the bathroom because her eyes still felt heavy and tired.....

“...haha......are you blind??....why can’t you find the bathroom?”

“!!!!!......eh?”

Hannah had thought that minwoo would already be at work in his office......but instead of what Hannah thought.........minwoo was sitting on the white couch in the living room and laughed at her.....

and.....as soon as Hannah heard minwoo’s voice her eyes opened in alert and looked straight at him.....

“....why are you so surprised?”

“...didn’t you go to work today?.........or...did I wake up early?.........no...that would never have happened......”

Hannah thought that something was wrong and walked into the living room and looked at the clock..........

10:30

“...huh?....it’s 10:30 aren’t you gonna go to work?..............did you get fired?”

Hannah looked curious and asked minwoo with a real sincere confused voice

“.....-.-.................Hannah Choi...........turn to your left and look at the calendar that’s next to you........what day is it today?”

“............................................................Sunday”

Hannah looked at the calendar and answered minwoo in a quiet voice....

“...since you already turned left..........turn your face a little more to the left....”

“.......why???.........!!!!!”

“.................................”

Hannah turned her attention to the big window and saw white things fall from the sky

it was snow..................and as soon as Hannah realized that she made a face

“...ugh~~....it’s snowing......shit”

“...???.....you don’t like snow??”

“EXTREMELY”

minwoo had expected Hannah to exclaim and jump for joy as soon as she saw snow like other girls would but he had forgotten that Hannah wasn’t a regular girl......

“why?”

“...i don’t like something that’s so white like that..........it looks like it’s saying that it’s the most softest cleanest innocent thing there is in the world.............but it’s not........to be honest it’s neither clean or soft.........”

“....................i see.................”

Hannah shrugged as she finished off her sentence and then walked into the bathroom

“..aish.............since it’s snowing I can’t even go outside......”

“.......................”

“...minwoo ya~~....let’s watch videos~~”

“whatever”

minwoo answered Hannah in a careless voice

“...................”-Hannah

“....what?”

Hannah was staring at minwoo......and since minwoo felt uncomfortable under Hannah’s gaze he shifted around in his seat and asked her what was wrong in an annoyed voice

“...i don’t wanna go outside...”

“......-.-.......are you asking me to go outside and get the videos for you?”

“..yea..”

Hannah nodded her head up and down at minwoo’s question

“..give me a good reason..”

“....i don’t like snow...”

“....do you consider that a good reason?....”

“aww....c’mon minwoo~~~”

“....-.-......aish....”

minwoo glared at Hannah and then finally got up and walked out the door of their apartment to rent some videos.......

and watching minwoo.....Hannah smiled


[...is it okay to like you?...........i’m not doing something bad when I feel like this right?]

Hannah found it difficult to pay attention to the movie because her eyes kept drifting to the silver colored hair person in front of her....

Hannah was curled up on the white couch....and minwoo was laying on his stomach on the carpet in front of her....

the whole apartment rang with the different voices of the actors that was on tv.....and Hannah just kept watching minwoo.......

“..hhehe...”

minwoo laughed to himself as he watched the video

“...is it fun?”

Hannah asked minwoo if the movie was fun in a small voice........she didn’t know because she kept staring at minwoo’s hair...and resisted the urge to touch it........

“-.-.....why are you asking me??...you’re watching the movie too...”

“...just cuz...”

“pay attention!!”

minwoo told her annoyed for making him pay attention to her instead of the movie....

“............................”

“...........................”

“....what color is your hair?”

“...MOLLA!”

Hannah asked minwoo as she touched his hair and minwoo answered her in an irritated voice

[...i didn’t know this jerk would be so into a movie..........and I didn’t know that he would laugh so much in a movie that wasn’t even funny.........]

Hannah touched minwoo’s soft silver hair and felt its softness at the end of her fingertips.......she had always thought that minwoo lee would always be a cold person and his hair was just there to emphasize that......but now....she looked at him...and saw a kind warm person...

why is it that she realizes this now?

Hannah couldn’t take her hands away from minwoo’s hair and just kept touching it....

[it’s been a long time since I’ve sit down and watched a movie....i was always busy going to work.............and also trying to forget her...........

when Hannah asked to watch videos I just gave in to her stubbornness and rented movies.....but... this is more fun than I thought it would be....

I’m very thankful toward Hannah for breaking my everyday routine and bringing some laughter into my life....

“...what color is your hair?”

I don’t know if Hannah is watching the movie or not but she asked me what my hair color was and started to touch my hair with soft hands...]

“..haha...”

“..........”

minwoo laughed and his laughter echoed off the walls....he expected Hannah to ask him why he was laughing even though it wasn’t funny....but she kept quiet and didn’t say anything...

the hand that kept touching his silver hair stopped

“..hey!!...why aren’t-!!!”

minwoo turned around curious as to why Hannah was so quiet and stopped in mid sentence

Hannah had fallen asleep on the white couch

“...haha...who asked to watch videos?!....hey!!...wake up”

minwoo tried to wake Hannah up in a voice filled with laughter but Hannah was in a deep sleep so she didn’t even move when minwoo was yelling at her....

“...............................”

minwoo stopped his actions and stared at Hannah for a second....

her brown hair that came down a little past her shoulders.....her face that was full of charisma....her body that was so skinny it seems like all you see is her bones and a small layer of skin....

he watched her sleeping and decided not to wake her up

so he picked Hannah up lightly and headed toward her room

then after he layed Hannah down on her bed he went back to the movie that he was watching and turned it off.........


“...do you wanna go out and eat tonight?”

minwoo was heading out the door but then turned around to Hannah who was trying to keep her eyes from slanting down and asked her a question

as soon as Hannah heard minwoo’s question she was suddenly wide awake

“..really?”

“..keke....geez.... I know that you’re a pig and all but you don’t have to make it all obvious”

“...you know what....you should make up your mind on what you want to call me...first it’s dobyuk princess...and now it’s a pig?”

“.....^^.....”

minwoo gave Hannah a pretty smile at her complaints

“..anyways...whatcha gonna buy me~?”

“..what do you wanna eat?”

“...california rolls! California rolls! California rolls! California rolls!”

“......haha......alright...”

minwoo smiled and touched lightly touched Hannah’s hair...

and as soon as Hannah heard minwoo’s answer she gave him a pretty smile

[it’s been almost two months now since we’ve gotten engaged and had to live together.... and during those two months..........i think that you and I have changed a lot.......you smile so brightly and freely at me now.....it’s okay if I’m expecting something from that right?.....it’s okay if I think that you’re smiling at me because you like me right?.......i can hope right?..........]

“...umm....”

Hannah’s confused voice drew minwoo back from the door to look at her

“???”

“...did I go into my room to sleep yesterday? I remember playing with your hair while watching the movie but I don’t really remember anything after that......then I woke up this morning and saw that I was in my room...”

“......heh......i dunno......i’m gonna go now...”

“....huh?...oh....okay”

Hannah played with her brown hair and looked at confused......

then right before minwoo walked out the door he said in an half amused voice...

“....you know what..........for someone so small you’re pretty heavy...”

“????????????”

Hannah didn’t understand what minwoo was talking about and just stared at minwoo stupidly...

then minwoo left

then after it’s been a while since minwoo left for work...that’s when Hannah understood what minwoo had said....

“...-//////- damn...”

Hannah’s face was suddenly red

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“...sir?....there was someone who was looking for you earlier sir...”

as soon as minwoo walked into the building where he worked a secretary came up to him and started to talk to him in a small voice...

“...who?”

“...some girl....”

“...a girl?”

“...yes....she had long black hair....a small face....big pretty eyes....she looked really pretty.....what was her name??...i forgot..”

suddenly minwoo stopped breathing.....

a small picture of a girl’s face entered into his mind....

but soon he just brushed it off...

[...it’s not her....it can’t be her.....she’s the one who left me...]

the secretary said that she made a memo of the girl’s name and then walked to her desk.....soon the secretary came back and said....

“...she told me to tell you that she’ll be waiting for you at the café down on the first floor.......she said that her name is nalae lee...”

“????..........!!!!!!”

minwoo’s face suddenly turned white and all the blood drained from his face

“............nalae............lee?”

“..yes...she’s probably waiting for you at the café right now...”

“.......................”

minwoo walked as fast as he could to where nalae was waiting....

[.......you’re back??..........

are you coming back to me??..................are you coming back to me because you miss me?...........]

*-tiNkLE

“..welcome..”

the waitress at the front counter greeted minwoo in a friendly voice as soon as he walked into the café but minwoo didn’t hear her...........because he was looking for one person

nalae

then he finally saw her........she was staring out the window and hadn’t noticed minwoo come in yet...

-oppa....my most favorite thing in the world is white snow-

[...you haven’t changed at all have you??....you always loved the days that snowed ]

“.......nalae ya.......”

it’s been such a long time since he’s called that name that his voice tightened with emotion

then nalae turned around surprised and looked at minwoo

“...............op.......pa..........”

as soon as she saw him..........her eyes quickly filled with tears...........

“......how are you?.....”

“......fine..............oppa............oppa...............”

hot tears fell down her cheeks...........then she opened her heavy mouth.............and began to tell minwoo her story................and why she left him so many years ago...............

.................................................................................................................................................


“...ehh....why is he so late??”

it was already 10:00 pm and Hannah was waiting for minwoo to come home

[aish....he said that he would buy me california rolls today...]

tick tock

tick tock

tick tock

the time seemed to fly by and all of a sudden it was 11:00....then it was midnight...

Hannah saw that one by one the lights that were in different homes were being turned off

Hannah was slowly getting angry and also getting worried as she sat on the white couch and waited for minwoo to come home

[....did something......happen?.............you never came home so late before....]

Hannah sat on the couch and stared at the tv program that was on.........but.........she didn’t even hear the noisy dialogue that came from the tv.............

she just sat there...........worried...............

*-CrEaKkK

“...hey!!!...why are you so late???”

it was almost 1 in the morning and minwoo finally opened the door quietly and entered the house......

“....................................”

Hannah looked at minwoo angrily.....but minwoo.....didn’t answer her question.....he couldn’t even look her in the eye....

sadness seemed to pour out of him.....

he slowly took his shoes off and then walked past Hannah............Hannah could smell................................

“....did you go out and drink today??....”

Hannah’s eyes got big as she grabbed minwoo’s arm and asked him

“............................”

“......say something........did you drink today?”

.........................................

minwoo didn’t bother answering Hannah’s question but instead turned around and then slowly hugged her...............Hannah was so surprised that her eyes got even bigger....

she could smell his scent................shampoo.......mixed with his own special scent of his own............and also mixed with alcohol.........

Hannah stood still as minwoo had his arms around her waist and rested his head on her shoulder......

“.........................”

minwoo didn’t say anything

“........minwoo...?........did.....something......happen today.......?”

Hannah asked minwoo cautiously

“...hah.......minwoo lee has finally gone crazy.......what am I gonna do now?...”-minwoo

minwoo slowly murmured to himself.....

“what?”

“.....it’s nothing....im sorry that I couldn’t keep my promise today”

minwoo let go of Hannah and after he apologized to Hannah he touched her head softly and then walked into his room....

even after he layed down on his bed and tried to sleep.....thoughts of his conversation with nalae kept entering his head....

[....nalae lee.........what is it that you want me to do?]

..................................................................................................................................................


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

forget me

please......just forget me.....

im a bad person........so.......before I get a place in your heart........please......just forget me.....

forget me.....and live happily.....

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“hey!”

as soon as Hannah walked into the baskin robin store she smiles brightly and yells hey!

“huh?....ohhh....Hannah Choi....what are you doing here?”

minju had a pink apron and a pink hat on and looked at Hannah surprised

“...what do you mean what am I doin here?....i came here because I thought u might be bored and since im sooo nice....i came here to play with you...”

“..-.-...oh reely??...well I feel sooo grateful for your thoughtfulness...”

“...-.-...shut up.......let’s go....i’ll buy lunch!”

****

“..is ur fiancee or whatever doing good?”

“.....yea.....”

as they were eating pizza minju asked Hannah looking very interested and curious

and Hannah answered minju in a hesitant voice

minwoo had come home drunk yesterdayand left for work before Hannah even got up

“..haha...families with money really are different....”

“...............”

“...did anything happen with that person?”

“....what do you mean?......”

minju looked at Hannah with narrow eyesand Hannah turned innocent eyes toward minju and looked at her confused

“....you know.......when two people of the opposite sex live together for a while....things might happen that you might see in rated R movies...”

“...-.-;;;;;.....i can always expect you to come up with the most stupidest questions.....no nothing happened...”

“...does that person like you?...”

minju asked Hannah in a serious manner

“...i don’t know...but I don’t think that he dislikes me...”

“...what about you?...”

as Hannah answered minju in a small voice minju took another slice of pizza and asked Hannah another question...

“...............”

“....i said what about you?.....do you like him or not?”

“...i.......think........i.........do......”

“......ohhh.......Hannah Choi is finally showing interest in the animals that we have to live with called men!”

“.....shut up.......”

minju looked surprised

[.....you were surprised at my answer weren’t you?......

I don’t blame you because I was surprised at my own answer........

I can’t believe that I can’t have such good feelings toward him

Toward a human being]

“..hmm...if that person doesn’t dislike you.....then.........................are you sure nothing happened?”

“...yes!!!......what do you wanna hear from me!?”

“hey!!...guys are animals that like to get physical~!!!...you never know....”

“...haha....he’s not that type of guy”

Hannah smiled at minju and hit her lightly on the head

[.....if he was like every other guy.....

then.....i wouldn’t like him like I do......

he’s different........that’s why.....i like him....]

after that Hannah and minju sat there in the pizza place while minju asked Hannah endless questions about minwoo and Hannah just answered them patiently....

=================================================================

minwoo didn’t know how long he’s been sitting at his desk.....he was just sitting there flipping through documents even though his thoughts were else where.........

he had left home at 8 am and he has been sitting in the same position since 8 until now...which is 12:30

-minwoo oppa......im sick......my body and my heart.....i wish that somebody would stay by my side and help me through this.......but I have nobody.......that’s why I came to you.........you know how much I love you right oppa?........but........it wasn’t easy for me to come here........i was afraid that I might get rejected by your mother.......but I came anyways.....to see you..............can you accept me again oppa?

[....nalae says that she didn’t leave me because she found another guy.......she left me because my mother asked her to leave me alone.....and after she left me her father died in a car accident.....she says that shes been having a hard time lately......she says that she misses the days that we spent together in england.......and that’s why she came back to me]

“hah”

minwoo let out a sigh and brushed his hand through his hair in frustration

[....when I saw you again I was so glad to see you...

when you told me that you didn’t leave me because you wanted to I was overwhelmed with happiness

when you asked me if we could start over.......the pain and grief that I had went through when you left me........all disappeared.......

but.....

in one corner of my heart...........i felt sadness too

how do I explain this?

Whenever I think of you im always happy.......but then Hannah’s face appears into my mind.......why is that?

It must be because I feel guilty having to leave Hannah in order for me to get to you......im just going throught the guilt trip.............that’s all..........

I can’t explain it in another way than this

I dun even love Hannah]

After sitting at his desk for 4 hrs and 30 mins minwoo finally got up and headed to his car with a determined face

-oppa...........if you can accept me........if you can take me back in........then come to the café that we used to meet at all the time at 1........i’ll be waiting........

[I can’t let you go...............even though you left me..........and I hated you for that........it doesn’t matter..........i love you..............i’ll go to you............nalae.......i’ll go to you]

minwoo’s car sped out of the parking lot and he was filled with emotion........but in the middle of it all.........Hannah’s face kept appearing to minwoo.......minwoo gave some effort and finally erased her face from his mind........

[......it’s okay if I leave you to find my love right?......it wouldn’t matter to you since you never wanted to get engaged with me let alone get married with me..........right??]


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The worst thing in the world is to fall into a one-sided love

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“...thank you for that yummy lunch.....kekeke....everything you do now-a-days seems to be just perfect!”

“..haha....do you have to go back in to work?”

as Hannah and minju came out of the pizza place minju thanked Hannah enthusiastically and Hannah smiled at her

“..yea...i have to so that I can pay for the student loan....”

“....so why’d you go to college if you’re gonna go through all of this?...”

“...hey....somebody in my family has to succeed so that we can still eat and sleep under a roof.....”

“...yea!!....study hard and maybe you can even be the first lady president!!”

“....-.-...don’t over do it....”

“...haha...i’ll go now...”

Hannah smiled at minju and then started to walk off

“...hey!!!...Hannah Choi!!!”

“???”

Hannah stopped and turned around to look at minju

“...did you know.....that yoyou’ve changed a lot?...”

“................................”

“...love really must be a good thing......it made you so much happier and brighter.....go thank the person that you’re in love with for me.......because im grateful that.....that person made a human being out of you......”

after Hannah and minju separated Hannah went around the mall by herself....

“...?....ohh that’s pretty...”

Hannah looked at the white knit top for men through the window and immediately thought of minwoo.....

“...hmm...it’ll look good on him....”

silver hairwhite knit shirtand a bright smile

*-tiNkLe

“...can I please get the white knit shirt in the window?....”

[.........you’re always in my mind now...........

minwoo.................i’m thinking about telling you today............telling you that I like you........will you accept me?............]

****

“......nalae........”

“...oppa?....”

minwoo had finally arrived at the café where nalae was waiting for him

she was drinking milk as white as her skin.........and seeing her like this......minwoo was reminded of the past and he knew that nalae hasn’t changed at all

“.............”

“......thank you for coming oppa......i didn’t think you would come......”

“...................”

“....................”

“.....do you and your mother have a place to stay?.......”

“...my mom’s living in pusan right now......and since I have to work here in seoul im living in one of my friend’s house....”

nalae couldn’t meet minwoo in the eye and so she told him all this information with her head down

minwoo’s heart ached for her

[......you must be working hard right now.......

you got so much paler and skinnier since yoyou’ve left me]

“...get up....”

“.......?........”

at minwoo’s words nalae looked up at him in surprise

“....let’s go to the apartment that I live in.......”

“.......oppa......”

minwoo led nalae out of the café.......forgetting about his living arrangements with Hannah...........

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


=============================================================================

when I miss someone so much that I could go insane

when I’m so sad that I could go insane

when my heart aches so much that I could go insane

what do I do?

After you leave me

How am I supposed to live my life like I used to?

==============================================================================

“..come in..”

nalae slowly entered the house

“....oppa......your house hasn’t changed at all......”

she sat down on the white couch and said to minwoo in a small voice

nalae slowly looked around the whole house and then her eyes fell upon a medium sized frame with the picture of minwoo and another girl

“.......oppa............are...........you.........seeing someone?”

nalae asked minwoo in a shaking voice

and minwoo’s eyes got big as he heard her question

“no”

“then.............then............that....girl.....”

“..oh...her name is Hannah Choi........she’s my fiancee”

memories of the nightmare-like engagement came flooding back to minwoo but he answered nalae as if it was nothing...

“.......fi.......fiancee?.......then.....what...... am.... I-”

nalae started to stutter at this new information

“...don’t worry about it....it’s not an engagement that I wanted......it was because of my parents......you......you....all you have to do is just stay by my side”

minwoo sat next to nalae and explained it to her as he brushed her long black hair

“..oppa...”

tears started to fall from her eyes again

“....don’t cry....we’re going to live happily together....”

minwoo wiped her tears for her and gave her a small smile

[......i’m just happy staying by your side like this........]

“......im...........just........so.........happy..........that.........you’re staying.......by my.......side like this..............”

tears kept falling from her eyes and nalae had her head down so that she wouldn’t have to see minwoo’s face.....

but minwoo slowly lifted her chin so that he could see her face

and then he looked into her eyes

she was so pale and weak

and then.......as minwoo was looking at nalae.........one figure formed in his mind.......

Hannah Choi

minwoo brought his face closer to nalae’s face to get rid of Hannah’s image.......then he covered nalae’s lips with his own.......

and like all the other good dramatic fics or dramas.........the one person that wasn’t supposed to see this scene came running through the door.....

“...minwoo!!...guess what?......today I went-.......!!!!!!!!!!!!.....”


when I was overwhelmed by sadness

and you asked me why

my answer was....

..................................just because........

“...minwoo!!...guess what?......today I went-.......!!!!!!!!!!!!.....”

Hannah walked through the door with a bright happy face but then as soon as she saw the scene before her she stopped talking....

minwoo and some girl were kissing

all thoughts fled from Hannah’s mind and she just stood there watching

she couldn’t do anything else......there was nothing that she could do......

*-jjANg (sound of glass breaking -.-;;)

after Hannah bought the white knit shirt she bought a glass vase to put flowers in

but.....since her hands and arms were shaking so badly the glass vase that was in her arms soon slipped and fell crashing to the ground

“.....!!!!!!!......”-minwoo

“.......!!!!!!!.....”-nalae

minwoo looked up surprised from the noise of glass breaking and his eyes got bigger and bigger as he saw Hannah

that is when he remembered

that he wasn’t the only one living in the apartment

there was also

Hannah Choi

his fiancee

“.......Hannah........Choi.....”

“..oh.....oh.....s.....sor....sorry......i didn’t mean to.....i mean.....go ahead with....wha....whatever......you.....you......were doing......”

minwoo said Hannah’s name softly

and Hannah apologized and bent down to start picking up the broken glass pieces....since she wasn’t thinking straight and her hands were shaking badly she didn’t pick up any glasses but instead hurt herself with the sharp points of the glass pieces.......her hands were soon bleeding

the sharp pieces of glass were cutting her small hands up badly

but.....Hannah didn’t see the blood that was pouring out from her hands.....she didn’t feel the pain that the glass pieces were causing her......all she could do and think about at that moment was picking up the glass pieces

and when the glass pieces were starting to get under her skin.....that’s when minwoo realized what was happening and tried to stop Hannah

“....Hannah....stop.....”

“....oh...........im....im alright....”

minwoo grabbed Hannah’s wrist and tried to stop her......and Hannah just looked at minwoo stupidly and said that she was alright....

[...i feel like I’m floating in the clouds for some reason....]

“...are you o...kay..?”

nalae came up to her cautiously and asked her if she was okay

Hannah was trying to stop her tears from falling by keeping her head down but as soon as she heard a girl’s voice she jerked her head up and looked at the owner of the voice

as soon as Hannah got a good look at the girl’s face she just froze....

nalae lee

[everything’s over now]

as soon as she saw nalae’s face Hannah knew that everything was over.....then she heard a voice in her head

-Hannah Choi it’s time for you to leave now

and that’s what the voice said

“...it looks like you’re hurt pretty bad....”

nalae’s small pretty face had a look of concern on it

and even though Hannah didn’t want to admit it

she was pretty

“....no.....i’m alright............your name is.......nalae lee right?”

Hannah tried hard keep her shaking voice under control

“..yes that’s right.....how do you know my name?..”

“.....i.......i just....do...”

“..Hannah.....get up and come inside....we got to put some medicine on your hands...”

minwoo told Hannah seriously as he saw that the blood that was flowing from her hands wasn’t stopping....

“...no it’s okay...”

“...what do you mean it’s okay?!....look at your hands!!!!”

minwoo yelled at Hannah as she tried to hide her hands behind her back

[.....i don’t know why......but I’m getting mad.....

I don’t know why but watching you bleeding like this is making me mad]

Minwoo practically dragged Hannah into the living room and sat her down on the couch and then went to go get the first aid kit

“..oppa....i’ll put the medicine on her.....you should go over there and pick up the broken glass pieces....”

as minwoo tried to clean up Hannah’s hands....nalae stopped him and told him to pick up the glass pieces as she softly cleansed Hannah’s wounds....

[.....i think.......i can understand..........why.........minwoo is so head over heels for this girl...]

it hasn’t even been a few minutes since she’s met nalae but she could feel how warm and caring this girl was....

“....ha.....don’t you think that you should introduce us minwoo lee??....even though I do know this girl....”

Hannah meant to talk in a cold voice....but her voice began to shake again

“ah!...introductions...as you already know..this is nalae....i don’t know for how long yet....but she’s going to be staying with us-”

“no!!!....”-Hannah

Hannah cut minwoo off as he talked to her in an apologetic tone of voice

minwoo’s and nalae’s eyes got round as they heard what Hannah said

“.....?!!?!!?!.....”

“.....i’ll leave......”

“..................”-minwoo

“.....i don’t think of this as you kicking me out of the apartment so you don’t have to feel guilty.........i..................didn’t like..................living.................with you.......anyways...... I’ll just take this oppurtunity to leave..............i will leave..............i know that you two would want to live together by yourselves.........i don’t want to intrude on that.........even though I can be slow sometimes............i’m not that slow.........”

“....................”

[.....damnit......the tears are so close to falling.....]

and even though Hannah had tried so hard to keep her tears in

tears began to wet her face

[.....i don’t want to hear you asking me to leave this house.....

I wasn’t like this before I met you....... if I had been in this situation before I met you then it wouldn’t affect me so much....

But I’ve changed

And if I had to listen to you asking me to leave.....i would die.......so I’ll just leave before you have to do anything

I’ll leave.........]

“......are .....you crying......?”

minwoo asked Hannah as he saw the tears that were falling down from her eyes

[......why do you pretend to worry about me if you don’t even care about me......]

“...cuz it hurts....”-Hannah

Hannah didn’t want to admit that she was crying because of him so she lied and told him she was crying because of her injury

[..........i don’t feel anything.........except the pain in my heart..........]

this felt like some kind of corny love story........a girl that has felt love for the first time in her life is getting nursed by the girlfriend of the guy that she loves....

“...i did the best that I could.....but I think that you should go to the hospital and get this checked up.....”

nalae was covering Hannah’s hands with a white bandage cloth

[.....pretty......your so pretty.....

is that why the trash-like me is always getting thrown away?....]

“...thank you for treating my injuries..................minwoo lee.....i’ll be back later to get my things......i’m going to go to my family’s home for now.....”

Hannah lightly touched the white bandage clothe that was wrapped around her hands and then got off the white couch

then she walked past minwoo and walked out the front door.......

and minwoo just stood there.....staring after her......


**************************************************************************

the thing called fate is so dirty

and unfair

that it makes a person want to die of frustration

**************************************************************************

“...hey~....are you sure you’ll be alright even though you’re hurt like that?”

“...!!!...”

minwoo grabbed Hannah’s arm while she waited for the elevator....

“...yes....i’ll be alright....so will you please get the hell away from me?”

“.................”

Hannah wiped the tears that kept falling from her eyes with her left hand and asked minwoo to leave in a cold voice...

“......it’s great...........that..........that...........*sniff*........i won’t have to look at you anymore...............................just.........great...............”

“............................”

“....i’m glad that I don’t have to live with a jerk like you anymore.............”

“......i’ll take you home.......”

“.....forget it....i don’t want you to escort me home after kicking me out of your house.....”

*diNG* (...sound of elevator )

the elevator finally got to the floor that Hannah and minwoo were on and the door opened....

then Hannah pulled her arm free from minwoo’s grasp and walked into the elevator

minwoo was staring at Hannah

then Hannah took the white knit shirt that she had bought with her heart filled with happiness just a few hours ago and threw it at minwoo bitterly

“....i hope you live happily ever after with nalae”

“.......han......nah.......”

minwoo looked at the shirt that had landed on his face and called Hannah quietly

then the elevator door slowly closed

“..mom............”

Hannah was skinny and had no fat to help keep her warm

and since she was in such a hurry to get out of the apartment she was only wearing a thin t-shirt.........and the cold wind that surrounding her made her shiver as she pushed the intercom button.....

her lips had turned blue

and the blood from her hands had bled through the white bandage cloth and the once white material was now red with blood

but......more cold and blue then her lipsmore red and bleeding then her handswasher heart

“...Hannah!!...what are you doing here in the middle of the ni-!!!!what’s wrong with your hands??”

as soon as Hannah stepped inside the house her mom greeted her in a cranky tone of voice but as soon as she saw Hannah’s bandaged hands her eyes got round with shock

“.....I........................”

her voice was shaking

“.....I don’t want to get married mom...........let’s pretend there never was an engagement plz mom?.....i don’t like that person.....”

[....acutally.....it’s not that I don’t like that person.....that person just doesn’t like me...]

“...Hannah...”

Hannah pleaded

and Hannah’s mom was so surprised that all she could say was Hannah’s name...Hannah had never asked her parents to do anything for her before

“..what’s going on here?...”

as Hannah’s father and sister come down the stairs their faces turn to that of surprise also

“...i don’t know...Hannah just came and she says-”

“...i’ll explain....father...i don’t want to get married to minwoo lee....can we please pretend that the engagement never happened”

“..what??...what do you mean?...what happened?...”-dad

Hannah’s father was slowly beginning to get angry

“I don’t want to live with that ass....let alone get married to him....he’s no fun and he’s boring....so I don’t want to do this anymore....can we ju-”

*-sLAP (dad slapping Hannah’s face)

Hannah’s face was turned to the right and her father was busy yelling at her

“...you brat....do you always do what you want??huh??”

“...let’s listen to Hannah first....there must be some explanation to this...plz...calm yourself...”

“..there is no explanation....this piece of shit just doesn’t want to cooperate!!!....do you really want to see our company go down the drain??....do you???”

[...so it’s the company that’s worrying you?...

I underestimated your mind father.....i didn’t think you could calculate what you would lose so fast....

I guess you don’t even care what happens to me do you?....

Shit.....]

“...stop it father...”-unni

“...look at your unni....she grew up so well.....but what’s wrong with you???....i never like anything that you ever did....”

“...i never begged you to accept and like what I do...”

“...you!!...”

“....don’t worry about me.....you have your perfect first daughter right next to you....well now that I think about it’s not as if you actually do worry about me....all you worry about is how much money I can get into your company...”

*-sLAp

her face was turned to the right again

“...get out of my house!!!...i don’t want to see your face ever again!”

she didn’t feel the pain coming from her cheek

but instead felt the pain from the newly hurt heart

[.....nobody wants me.........

damnit

why did I even come here?.....i should have known that I wouldn’t receive any care of help from this so-called home....

am I really just trash?...]

“...dammit....i’m the stupid one thinking that I could come here and expect a family....good bye my so-called father, mother, and unni...”

Hannah touched her swolled red cheek and bowed to her parents and then left the house

she could hear her mom and unni calling her...but she just ignored their cries and walked out of the house as fast as she could...

[......live your life....and I’ll live mine....

I wasn’t a part of the family anyways....just a mistake....]

After she walked out of the house she walked a few steps and then just sat down in the middle of the street

Her whole body was frozen

[...do you people know?....that the pitiful person in this situation is me?....

I never did anything to receive this type of treatment from you guys...

I’m the one.....

I’m the one......

I’m the one that got deserted

I’m the one who was thrown away

I never wanted to get rid of minwoo lee....but....he wanted to get rid of me....

It was the first time that I trusted someoneIt was the first time that I liked someone

And I just got played

Do you know how hard it has been living by myself?

I got thrown away so easily by minwoo......

Dammit

I never wanted to feel this dirty feeling....

This is why..........this is why......i never trusted anybody....

This is all my fault...

I should have never met you

I should have never fallen in love with you

I should have never trusted you

It was my mistake

What am I going to do?

I think I’m going to die because of all this sadness

What am I gonna do without you??

How am I going to get through this??..............]

Tears started to pour from her eyesAnd her whole body began to shake

[....no.....i can get through this...

even though you deserted me

even though you never loved me like I loved you

I can get over it

But

You have such a big place in my heart now.....how am I suppose to cover that up??

That’s the only thing that worries me....]

In the middle of the night.......on a cold winter street.....a small child cried at the feeling of being deserted and forgotten....


[.....I just walking..........i don know where I am.........and I don know where I going..........but it doesn matter..........i just walking..........]

...........................

[and........when I finally looked around to see where I was........i realized I was right in front of the apartment building of where he lives............this is so pathetic...............

I must have trusted you a lot to come all the way to your apartment without even knowing it..........]

Hannah leaned against the closed door and slid down

[.....if I went through this door I would be able to see you.......i would see you with that girl........

you know what?...........youe a jerk.............

if you hadn been so nice to me...............if you didn get me to trust you...........then I wouldn be going through this right now.......

It hurts me to think that you won be here next to me anymore to call me dobyuk princess or to tease me...........it hurts so much.............that why.........................]

Hannah slowly started to take the bloody cloth off her hand.......

....ah.........it hurts.....

Hannah finally started to feel the pain in her hands

[.......why......

........why.....

did you lie to me?

The last night we spent at england you said to me that you had forgotten her....why did you lie?

I believed you and I finally gave in to the thought of loving you

Why did you lie?

I never commited a sin against you........why???.......]

Tears began to form in her eyes once again

[....maybe.....even after father had hit me.....even after he had yelled and screamed at me....maybe I should have just knelt down and begged him to take me back in again... maybe I should have just told him that I would be the perfect doll that hanli unni is.....if he would only take me back....maybe I should have asked him to gimme one more chance........

dammit

I have nowhere and no one to turn to now

Im at a dead end]

-oppa~...let eat something~

-...sure...

Hannah could hear his voice through the door and Hannah smiled at the sound of his voice

[I always liked your voice....it was always.....soft....and low.....]

-eh?....there nothing in the refrigerator.....what have you been eating for all this time?

-...............

-let go to the local supermarket and get some food and then lets rent a movie!

-......alright...

[....you seem happy.....

hmm..that makes sense....i mean....you wouldn be sad about deserting me would you?....

even though....i knew that you would be happy after you left me.....hearing you like this.....makes me so sad.......]

soon Hannah heard the small laughter of the girl named nalae and the rustling of shoes from behind the door....

then Hannah quickly got up and hid herself behind the stairs....

[......i got pretty pathetic.....didn I?....i was never like this before....i was always so sure of what I wanted to do and what I wanted to say.....]

*-gGeEk

..ugh....it cold....hurry up and get your scarf....minwoo

...no it okay....it not that cold anyways....

.....hmm......what if I did this?......now youe not cold anymore huh?...minwoo

as soon as the door opened and minwoo and nalae stepped out minwoo slightly shivered and told nalae to go back in and get her scarf....

nalae just smiled at minwoo and told him that she would be okay and linked arms with him

but minwoo frowned with worry because of the weather and then helped nalae into her coat.........then minwoo hugged her tightly

..........................ah......Hannah

Hannah stopped herself from crying out loud........watching minwoo happy form her heart ached...........

Hannah tried to wipe her tears away with her left hand and waited for minwoo and nalae to get onto the elevator

[........the past 24 hours have been a nightmare for me.....

a nightmare that never ends....

nightmare.....

.....it just a nightmare right?....

I was just so happy.....god was just giving me this nightmare to remind me that of what pain feels like.....right????

....when I wake up from this nightmare

im going to seeyoue happy faceim going to seeyoue smiling faceright?

I will see you smiling at meRight?Minwoo lee?

Minwoo......don go into the elevator with that girl....but turn around and look at me..... .....me....who hiding behind the stairs.....

Please

I won ask you to like me

I already know that I don deserve to feel loved.....i was always rejected and thrown away anyways....

...it okay....if you hate me.....

but please.....just stay by my side......]

*-diNG

..are you sure that you won be cold?....minwoo

.yes yes....come on....lets get into the elevator before it closes....

..if you stand reeeeeally close to me...than you won get cold...

..ahaha....

minwoo hugged nalae again and went inside the elevator

Hannah called minwoo softly....but....it was too late.....he had already ripped her heart in two......and deserted her....like everybody else in her life.....

.......minwoo.............minwoo.......

as soon as the elevator door closed....she opened her thin lips and began to call for minwoo.....

the sad and pitiful

dobyuk princess

Hannah Choi


=================================================================

I want to feel happiness again

I don want my white pillow being dirtied every night by my tears

I wish I can be happy

=================================================================

.who is...!!!!!...

..minju ya.....you know what........-

*-pOoL SsUk (sound of Hannah falling to the ground)

..hey!!!....Hannah Choi!!!...get up!!!!.....get up!!!!

Hannah had spent hours looking for minju house and when she finally found it she fell to the ground as soon as minju opened the door....

she fell into a deep sleep from her day exhaustion

and while this was happening......

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

.oppa!!...let buy this one...

...................

ppa!!!

uh??....oh.....yea??...

...what are you thinking about???...ie been calling you and you don even answer me...

....sorry....

minwoo had been lost in his thoughts and his feelings of guilt and didn hear nalae when she called him....

nalae looked at minwoo with narrowed eyes and minwoo just gave her an apologetic smile

[........why.........is it that I can think of anything and I don see anything except the image of Hannah.......crying.......in the elevator?....

I sure that youe be happy to get away from me....but what is this feeling of guilt?

........why do I keep thinking that the reason you cried was because you were sad that you got kicked out of my apartment??.....

......why do you keep appearing in my mind???.....i have nalae here.......my lovely nalae here.........so why doesn your image go away?...........]

****

*-rRrRrRrRrRrRrRr

it was 2 am in the morning but that didn stop the noise of the telephone....

..huh?...who could it be at this time of night?...

nalae lifted her head off of minwoo shoulders and took her eyes off the TV for a second to look at the phone...

.......hello?......minwoo

-hello??....umm....is there a minwoo.....lee.....?....there??

..this is him....but...who is-...!!!

-this is Hannah friend.....my name is minju

..oh....why is it that you........called...?

-Hannah............

minwoo face turned darker and darker as he listened to minju.....and watching minwoo face change nalae mouthed the words ho is it

but

minwoo just ignored nalae for now and listened carefully to the girl named minju his eyebrows knitted together to form a frown and his face kept changing colors....

..where is she right now?.......................oh I see Il be right there...............no?.......... alright then Il go there tomorrow morning..........................yes............thank you..........

after minwoo hung up the phone and just sat there

..is....something.....wrong?

nalae asked minwoo with a look of concern

.....no...........i sorry nalae....but I tired right now so let watch the rest of the videos tomorrow and go to sleep tonight.....

..oh.......okay.......

nalae said in a disappointed voice

..i sorry........sleep tight....

minwoo said to nalae in a dull voice as he walked away to his room........

as soon as he entered his room he sat down on his bed and stared at the wall

[........Hannah Choi.........

youe friend just called me.........

........she told me what happened.......

but.......i still don understand how that could have happened...

didn you say....

with your own mouth?

with your voice?

That you were happy that you could finally leave me?....

Didn you say?...that you were going to have a better life without me there??

Then why..........]

.......hah.........

[..........then why........are you blacking out on me?.........]DOBYUK PRINCESS<<42>>

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Do you feel better now that you have hurt me and broken me?

You covered my eyes so that I could no longer see him

You covered my nose so that I can no longer smell his essence

You covered my mouth so that I can no longer call his name

You cut off my arms so that I can no longer touch him

You cut off my legs so that I can no longer go to him

Do you feel better now??

Was it such a crime that I loved him so?

Are you happy that I am so broken now???

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

“..mmm...”

Hannah pryed her eyes open and the first thing she saw was the whiteness that was all around her....

the walls were white and it was quiet

Hannah looked around wondering where she was at first.....and then she finally realized that she was at the hospital....

“...mmm.....ah....ouch!....”

Hannah tried to get up from her hard stiff bed but cried out in pain instead

then minju suddenly wakes up at Hannah’s cries.....Hannah looked at minju confused....

“...huh??...when’d you wake up?...”-minju

“..min......minju ya....why are you here??....actually....why am I here?...”

“..aish...you brat!....how can you come to me in the middle of the night and black out right in front of my doorstep making me worry to death!!!!!?....”

“.......i..........i............i fainted....?......”

that was when Hannah noticed the IV pole next to her and the tube that was stuck in her arm....then she saw her wrist had a patient identification band on it.....

“...yes!!!!....did something happen to you.....?...........oh yea!!.....and the doctor had a hell of a time getting those stupid pieces of glass out of your hands~!!!!...”

“..........................”

as soon as minju was done talking Hannah looked down at her right hand and saw that it was newly bandaged.....

and then yesterday’s nightmare slowly came back to her

nothing had changed

her heart had so many different scars from the people around her......and her heart was in more pain then her hand was....

“.....i contacted your fiancee person....”

“what?!”

Hannah’s eyes got big as she stared at minju disbelievingly

[....you contacted................him?]

“...why are you so surprised?....”-minju

“..what the hell???....whas your problem?!?!?!....why are you contacting that asshole?? Why are you doing things that I don’t ask you to do!?.....who the hell gave you permission to call him!!!!!”

“........Hannah..........”

minju was shocked at Hannah’s reaction

“...why did you call that jerk!!!!?...why?? why??...i don’t want him to see mee so weak and vulnerable like this!!!....i don’t want him to see me.....”

“...what’s wrong???...did something happen??...”

“...when I think of how he’s going to smirk at me when he sees my present state...my heart.........my heart......shit....”

tears began to fall again from her eyes

[.........dammit...........

I don’t want to get hurt anymore

Yesterday was enough for me

I learned my lesson

So please don’t make me look more pathetic than I already am

I don’t want to see your guilt-ridden face when you see me

I don’t want pity or sympathy

I don’t want to get hurt because of you.......ever......again

I don’t

I don’t

I don’t!!!!....................]

“.....han......Hannah ya....”

“...why am I always the loser??.....how come I can never find happiness??....don’t I deserve it too???....why is the world so unfair to me??”

“....did something happen between you and that person??...”

“NO!!.....why would anything happen???.......it’s not.....like....i even...liked that guy........what is there.........to like........what.......is......there.......to.......like?.....”

“...........”

minju looked as if she finally understood what happened and watched Hannah without saying anything

“..i’m going to leave right now...”

“what???...”-minju

Hannah said as she got off her bed........and color drained from minju’s face as she stared at Hannah dumbfoundedly.....

then Hannah took out the IV tube from her arm and started to take off her patient identification band....

“...no....you can’t......you’re sick........”-minju

“...what are you talking about??...i’m not sick....i’m perfectly fine...so move aside because I don’t want to be here right now....”

[.....if I stay here any longer......he’s gonna be here.......

I need to leave before he gets here......]

“...please no!!....you must stay at the hospital at least for a few days....”

“...it’s not your Choice whether I want to stay here or not........so don’t worry about me”

“....Hannah.....please....”

“....dammit!!...i said get away!!!!”

“...don’t be so unreasonable....if you don’t take care of this hand....then it can be scarred for lifee.......”

“...i don’t give a damn!!!....if my hand turns out scarred and ugly so what??....i just want to get out of here!!!...so move aside......i don’t want to make a scene....and I don’t want to cuss at you so just move away from me.....”

*-gGeEk

“!!!!!!!!!!!!...”-Hannah

one person stopped Hannah and minju’s shouts and screams

beige suitsilver hair

minwoo lee


“!!!!!!!!!.....”-Hannah

minwoo came in with his hands inside his pockets

[.......dammit...........]

“.....Hannah Choi....”

“....get out......i don’t want to see you.....get out!!!!!!!”

minwoo looked at Hannah in shock as she yelled and screamed at him while throwing a pillow at him at the same time

[........maybe.........if I yell and scream at you...........maybe............if I get mad........it’ll save us the pain..............]

“.......Hannah...........”-minwoo

“...i don’t know jerks like you so get out.......”

“........................”

“go away so that my eyes don’t have to look at you anymore”

Hannah tried hard to sound and look cold while she yelled and cussed at minwoo....but then....she couldn’t continue yelling at him...

because

of the stupid stupid tears that formed in her eyes....they were on the verge of falling from her eyes....

but Hannah didn’t want minwoo to see her cry

so she opened her eyes wide and kept them from blinking just to keep her tears in

soon dust was settling on her eyes and it began to sting and hurt

[....it’s okay.......i’d rather just go through this stinging feeling than to let him see me crying...]

“.......................”

“...i.....i don’t need jerks like you in my life......so......go to that girl named nalae!!”

“.....how’s your hand?....”

“...are you deaf???....i said leave!!!!.....GO!!!”

minwoo just ignored Hannah’s cold stares and screams and walked closer to her to look at her hand...

it seemed like the thing that minwoo was the best at doing was ignoring Hannah

watching him look at her hands with concern even though he doesn’t care and asking her how she feels even though he doesn’t want to know made Hannah’s heart ache because.....

even though she knew that he didn’t care

when he looks at her with those warm eyes of his....it looks like he actually does

“....i heard you blacked out.....”

“...............minwoo lee..........don’t do stuff that you don’t want to and get out of here....”

“....didn’t you say that you were gonna go home?....”

“............................”

Hannah would never...........over her dead body........admit to him that she got kicked out of her own home....so she just stood there in silence

“.......are you okay??....i mean....since you blacked out and all-”

“..im alright....i was so happy that I wasn’t going to live with you anymore I celebrated all night and maybe that’s why I blacked out......so you don’t have to pretend that you’re worried about me...”

“....................................”

“....should I say one thing though?.....you’re acting stoopid right now....is this some kind of charity or something?”

“...Hannah Choi!! You know that’s not tr-”

“NO!!...i don’t know!....i never knew you and I don’t expect to get to know you either so get the hell out of here!!!!”

minwoo listened to Hannah’s shaking voice and even though Hannah pushed his shoulders harshly he didn’t move but just sat next to her...

“.............................................................”

“.............................................................”

the warm sunlight was coming in through the window and hit Hannah’s face

and Hannah squinted at the brightness and warmth of the sun

[.........just a few days ago..........i used to think the sun that comes up every morning was soo beautiful.....which was so unlike myself

but........starting yesterday........everything changed for me........no.......actually......i just came back to my old self again........]

“...........................”

“.........................”

the atmosphere was full of tension and the two people in the room both felt very uncomfortable......but nobody was able to break the silence....

“.....Hannah......your breakfast tray is here.....”

minju who had quietly left the room when minwoo appeared came through the door with a tray loaded with food....

“.......ok...........”

Hannah took the tray from minju and put it on her lap....

then Hannah looked at her right hand that was handicapped at the moment and wondered what to do.......

finally she just sighed and picked up the spoon with her left hand and then while slightly shaking she put her spoon in the soup and then slowly tried to bring the spoon to her mouth....

but

before her spoon even got close to her open mouth the soup that was in her spoon spilled onto the tray

Hannah gave a small frown

one more time

she took her spoon to the bowl of soup then tried to get her spoon to come into her mouth so that she could eat it.....but.......it spilled onto the tray once again because of her shaking hand...

she brought her head down close to the tray and tried again.....although the spoon made it to her mouth this time.....there wasn’t much on the spoon to eat........

rather than eating.....she was just making a mess of her patient gown

“..................should.............i........help?...”

minwoo watched Hannah’s efforts with sad eyes

“.....oh.......you’re still here??.....i don’t accept help from strangers so don’t worry about it and leave.....”

Hannah told minwoo to leave in a cold voice and then picked up her spoon again and tried to get some of her soup into her mouth.....

but once again

the spoon spilled onto her clothes and tray

the bowl that contained the soup was now half way gone but only a few drops of the soup had entered Hannah’s mouth.....

minwoo finally gave up watching and took the spoon away from Hannah

“......hey!!!...give it back!!!...”

Hannah looked at minwoo angrily

“.....you can’t even eat it!!!.....”

“.....gimme back my spoon you ass.......i told you I don’t want your help.......”

“...shut up!!!....don’t test my patience Hannah Choi!.......”

“............................”

Hannah became quiet as minwoo started to yell at her angrily

[...why are you getting mad?......i didn’t do anything wrong......why are you yelling at me?.........i’m the one who’s supposed to be mad and yelling at you.......i’m the one who’s mad and sad here......]

Hannah started to blink because of the tears that are so close to falling and bent her head down to look at the floor

[.......this is when I envy people with long black hair.....

because.....if I had long black hair..........it could cover up my tears when I bend my head down like this.......]

“...say ‘ahh’.....”

“......................”

minwoo had raised up his sleeves and took the spoon that he stole from her and tried to feed her.....but Hannah just kept her mouth tightly shut

“open your mouth so that you can eat”

“......................”

“right now!!!”

as minwoo started to get a little bit irritated and annoyed that’s when Hannah finally gave up and opened her mouth

[......i had forgotten for a second......that you’re only here out of guilt and pity....i had forgotten that you’re not the minwoo lee that likes to have me around and is nice to me because you like to be.....

you think of me as an annoying person.....who always gets on your nerves......

you want to leave this room don’t you??.....i’ll cooperate with you so that you can leave like you want to......i'’l eat this food that your feeding me.....so that you can hurry up and leave.....

I don’t......even.......have the power to hold you back anymore......]

Suddenly tears started to slide down Hannah’s cheeks again...

“.........::sniff sniff::.........”

Hannah tried to eat the food that minwoo was feeding her and tried to pretend everything was fine....

but the tears that were falling from her eyes right now made it impossible for her so she turned her head around away from minwoo’s eyes

“.....Hannah Choi........turn your head around....”

“............i............i’m......not hungry anymore.........i’m full now.........so leave”

“.....i have something to say!!!!...look at me!!!”

“...............”

Hannah slowly turned to look at minwoo

“..........what?.........”-Hannah

minwoo wiped away Hannah’s tears.....and cautiously opened his mouth.....


==================================================================

I looked outside and I saw the clear blue sky

It looks....so.....clean and clear.....

I want to be like that............i want to be clean...........

==================================================================

minwoo fidgeted around uncomfortable for a few minutes and then opened his mouth.... and Hannah.....waited.....anxiously to hear what he had to say....

[.....can I hope?....

can I hope that the words that you’re going to ask me to come back and live with you?...can I hope that you are miserable with nalae and you want me to forgive you and live with you again?...............can I hope that you’ll tell me to hurry up and get better and never to get sick again?

can I hope?.........]

“....what?...”-Hannah

“......did you tell.......your parents........about what happened?....”

“...........................”

Hannah was so surprised of what minwoo said that no words came out of her mouth and she just sat there.......then she slowly started to realize the mistake that she made

[.....ha.......dammit......i shouldn’t have hoped like that......i was being stupid......why did I hope for you to tell me to get better?.......i’m so stupid......i should have known that I don’t deserve that kind of concern from you........]

“.......did you tell them?.......”

“...i told them that I left you because I didn’t like you anymore.....don’t worry about it....i got it figured out.....”

[.......this is making me even more sad........now that yoyou’ve said that.......i can’t hold onto you anymore....because I have to face the fact that you don’t like me at all............and I become the pitiful one......]

“......................”

minwoo was thinking quietly to himself with a serious expression on his face

[........are you like my father also??.........are you calculating in your head what you would lose and you would gain by having me handle this??..........]

“.....don’t worry about it minwoo lee........it’s over and done with when I become the person who takes the blame......plus..........it’s.....................true...............that I don’t like you.......so............it’s..........ok.........”

“............................”

“........go........i’m okay......”

[.........it’s okay..........i’m always the one that they point fingers to anyways....so it’s okay.....i’ll be ther girl who betrayed her father and the nice guy named minwoo lee....i’ll be the bad girl.......it doesn’t matter anymore anyways.....i have nothing to lose......i have no more reasons to feel pain anymore........i’ve fallen so deep that I can’t even dream of happiness anymore............

I’ll just return to the same old me that I was before I met you........i know it’s gonna be hard......but I can take it......i did well by myself ever since I was little.....nothing has changed.....i can do it again.....

I always endured the loneliness by myselfI even loved someone by myselfI endured the pain by myselfI endured everything by myself....

I handled it all well

I can do it again

So don’t worry

You’re just like the porcelain doll that I cherished so much.......i should have known that I would always be the bad girl.......

You’re just like the other human beings that live on this planet.....you’re no different

I know that I’m going to be in some pain for a while after you leave......but it’ll be okay.....it has to.......]

“....be careful....”-minwoo

“....there’s no reason for you to come here anymore....so PLEASE I am begging you do not come back here.....”

“................”

[........i am such a mean person........i’m not as nice as other girls who might have hoped that you find happiness if they were in my position........

just.....disappear to a place where I don’t have to see you anymore.....

so that I don’t know......whether you’re happy or sad.......just go.......

when the injuries on my hands are completely healed......that’s when I will completely erase you from my memory.....and completely forget you

I’m going to forget you

I’m going to erase you..........]

After minwoo left Hannah held her right hand tight and closed her eyes.....then the tears that she had been holding back while minwoo was there started to fall from her eyes

[........you know what?......

I hope that my right hand..............will never................ever.........heal..........]

DOBYUK PRINCESS<<45>>=================================================================

You’re next to me but then againYou’re not

I can smell your scentBut you’re not next to me

I can touch youBut you’re not next to me

I can hate youBut I can’t love you

What do you want from me?

No

Actually

What do you want me to do?

=================================================================

Hannah’s room was quiet and still

There was nothing but the stiff white bed and a small bathroom...but other than that there was nothing else to decorate the dull gloomy patient room....

The only sounds that could be heard was the sound of Hannah’s breathing

“.....................”

Hannah was sitting on the edge of the bed staring out the window numbly

The snow that Hannah hated so much kept falling ever since early that morning....she watched the snow fall onto the small wimpy tree that was next to her window

after staring out the window with eyes that had lost their focus she brought the hand that had an IV tube stuck in her wrist and rested it on the window

She felt the coldness of the window seep into her hand and spread throughout her body

even though Hannah hasn’t been outside yet she got the feeling that it would be very very cold outside......is it because.......her heart has turn to ice that she sees and feels everything as coldness?

[.....The world is such a crappy place to live in

......didn’t someone once say that death leads to a better life?.....

haha...

what a bunch of BS...

if they see me living this crappy life day by day just so that I can live and not die.... those words would never come out of their mouths...........]

*-cReAK

“...ughh....it’s cold...”

“...................you’re back?.....”

minju came in through the door brushing off the snow that was on her thick jacket

Hannah greeted minju with an annoyed and irritated voice

[...........minju ya...........i’m so grateful to you for coming here and visiting me.......i feel so thankful that you come visit someone like me...........

but

when you come here everyday........i always feel like I’m receiving charity.........and I hate that feeling................]

“...yes I am bak....-.-...geez....you’re bestest friend in the whole wide world spares her precious time to visit you and now all of a sudden you don’t need me??....i don’t want to come here and visit you either!!!”

“.......-.-...........then don’t come.........”

“....if I don’t come....then who’s gonna take care of you??....”

“....................”

Hannah frowned at minju’s joking comment

[........why is it that.......as soon as you said that.........i suddenly think of my father who kicked me out of his home...............why did I suddenly think of minwoo lee that had come here to visit me just a few days ago?........why?..........]

“.....anyways.......when am I allowed to leave this stupid hospital?........”

“.....in two weeks....”

“...........................”

after answering Hannah’s question minju bent down and started to take things out of the plastic bag that she had brought with her

“....i bought some chips and co-”

“..should I purposely hurt my left hand too so that I don’t have to leave the hospital and I can stay for a few more weeks?.......”

“.....????......why?”

minju looked up suddenly at Hannah with big round eyes

“.....i......have no place to go after I get better........so should I just hurt myself and stay at the hospital a little longer and spend the precious money that my father has saved up..”

“...Hannah Choi.......you’re not-”

“..hehe...i’m just kidding......it was a joke......you don’t have to take it so seriously...”

as minju started to talk to Hannah in a low quiet voice Hannah interrupted her and gave her a small awkward smile as she told minju that she was joking....

[......Hannah Choi........

why do you act so stupidly now-a-days??......how did you get so weak and vulnerable?

You walk around with a face that says ‘I have been rejected and I am a sorrowful child..’

The look in your eyes.....the tone of your voice......the way that you act.....it’s so sad.....

I want to see the old Hannah Choi

The Hannah Choi who was so sure of herself on what she wanted to do and what she wanted to say........that’s the Hannah I want to see in front of me.....

I don’t want to see you so sad and depressed anymore...i’m afraid that you might take a knife to your wrist when I’m not around....that’s why I come here everyday to see you...]

“Hannah ya.....hurry up and get well.....then you can do whatever you want~”

“...hehe...thanks...”

Hannah gave minju a grateful smile

“.....anyways......did you call your parents to let them know that your at the hospital?”

“...no...”

“...go ahead and call then.....i mean.....after all they are your parents.....”

“...it doesn’t matter....it’s not like they would care even if they found out I was at the hospital....”

“...just do it!....”

************************************************************************

after listening to minju’s lectures on why she should call her parents Hannah finally came out of her room and walked slowly to the payphone....

“..gosh...what’s wrong with her??....she’s like a chicken always clucking after me....-.-...”

minju had threatened everything there was to threaten Hannah about.....minju had even said that if Hannah didn’t call her parents then their friendship was over....so Hannah had finally given up and walked to the payphone...but she was still hesitant about calling her home....

it took all her courage to call her parents

*-cLiNG

after putting in the small cents into the phone she picked up the phone and dialed her phone number with heavy fingers.....

[........our phone number has always been the same........we never changed our number for as long as I can remember....but.....every time I call home........i feel........so awkward....... is it because I don’t belong in the family?......]

-hello?

“.......................mom......”

-Hannah?

“.......................”

-where are you right now?

As soon as Hannah’s mom heard Hannah’s voice she talked to Hannah in a worried voice

And Hannah felt like crying when she heard her mother’s concerned voice over the line........but before Hannah could say anything............she heard her father’s voice also over the line........

-who is it? (father)

-...it’s Hannah

-I don’t have a daughter named Hannah

-dear..........

-if you’re not going to marry minwoo then don’t you even THINK about coming home!!!!

Hannah could hear her father’s voice loud and clear on the phone

Then Hannah sadly hung up the phone

[.......i guess I won’t ever see your face again father......

...do you think people get married if only ONE person wants the marriage?.....

just because one person says that they like the other person it doesn’t mean they’re going to get married......

no matter how much I want to marry him.....he doesn’t want to marry me.....

there’s nothing in this world that’s more easier to explain then the rejection that I had received......

I loved him.....but he didn’t love me.....

End of story.........]


=================================================================

It’s hard to figure out my true feeling for you

Do I like you?Or do I hate you?

After you ripped my heart to piecesAfter you left that horrible scar in my heart

My feeling for you have become vague......and unfamiliar.....

=================================================================

[........whenever I fall asleep.....i always get the same dream........

the dreams won’t leave me alone........it just keeps appearing.....night after night....the same dream.......

and ironically.....the same dream that I keep having......is a nightmare....

I keep feeling this guiltiness....the horrible guiltiness.....in my dreams.....

It was a nightmare..........]

“....hah.......”

it was morning and minwoo got up from his bed....

usually he would have gotten up from bed with a free spirit and happy mind....but these last few days he has been feeling uncomfortable and was worried over something he couldn’t explain....

he touched his forward and felt that he had been sweating in his dreams again.....he stood up and headed toward the bathroom door

since he has been twisting and turning in his sleep lately his brown eyes had turned red and his shoulders drooped with no strength.....

as soon as he was about to go into the bathroom he smelled delicious aromas coming from the kitchen

minwoo’s eyes went round with surprise and he looked in the kitchen and saw one form

“...!!!!!!!!.....!!!!!!!!!......what are you doing?”-minwoo

minwoo asked nalae who was busy in the kitchen a question in a small awkward voice

“...huh?....you’re awake?...”-nalae

nalae turned around at minwoo’s voice and gave him a pretty smile

“...what were you doing?...”

“...oh...i was making breakfast....it’s not like you would make it yourself....”

“..is that why your up so early?...”

“...yea...”

nalae had a cute orange apron on and held up her spoon as she talked

minwoo went to nalae and touched her hair

long black hairbig round innocent eyesorange apronand a cute nice personalitynalae lee

and

short brown hairno feminine characteristicsa big shirt with the picture of mickey mouse drawn on itcomes out of her room yawning and slouching

<.huh?...it’s 10:30....why aren’t you at work?...did you get fired?>

rude way of talkingHannah Choi

[......dammit.........

why am I comparing nalae with Hannah?.....we were in a forced engagement....but

why

is she always in my head?

Why am I reminded of Hannah...... who comes out of her room rubbing her eyes and yawning with a mickey mouse shirt on??

She has nothing to do with me

We had despised each other when she used to live here

Why

Are you always popping in my head?........and as if that’s not enough....you’re always in my dreams now.....

I keep remembering the scene in the hospital

Where I was so mean to you

Dammit..................don’t you think this is a little too much for a guilty conscious?.....]


==================================================================

you’re so close to me I feel like I can catch you and keep you in my possession

but

I just can’t seem to get a hold of you

I give you hundreds of reasons on why you must stay beside me and why I need you

But you stand there and you don’t hear a word I say

==================================================================

love

is so easy to feelbut so hard to forget

the person who leaves doesn’t feel the pain of forgetting your loved one because they are leaving them

but the person who is letting their loved one go......can feel the pain of loss easily and clearly....

there are many people who have fallen in love onceand there are many people who have fallen in love twice

but

there is no such thing as true love

we as humans cause too much pain and grief that there can’t be something so good as true love.....

we don’t deserve it

“............................................”

Hannah sat in her patient’s room not knowing how to entertain herself

minju had dropped by earlier but then left saying that she had to go to work

so Hannah just sat on her bed staring outside thinking of one thing in particular

[........i think I’m going insane.........

I sit here by myself and think of the small amount of days that we had spent together and I laugh and smile to myself

But then I remember the rejection that I had received from you and my laughter turn to tears and I sit here crying by myself......

Pathetic

I feel so pathetic right now

But I can’t help it........even though I’m slowly going insane........i can’t erase the wonderful dream-like memories I share with you.............it’s not as easy as I thought it would be........]

“.....whew~......i’m so pathetic.....”

Hannah stared at her hand that was wrapped in white bandages and talked to herself in her empty room

her voice was weak and soft

[..........every night before I go to sleep I always promise myself that I’m going to hate you for what you did to me.............you’re a jerk for deserting me and leaving me..... I promise to myself that I’m going to hate you

even if I have to risk my life......i swear to myself that I’m not going to live a sorry and pitiful life because of you

I promise myself that I’m going to return to the old me.....the old Hannah Choi.....and slowly get my revenge on you....

But I guess my body is more honest than my mind is....

I have become so physically weak and vulnerable that it’s sickening to look at myself in the mirror....i look pale from all those nights that I spent crying myself to sleep........]

“.......ughh.....i should eat something.....”

Hannah got up and walked out of her patient’s room heading for the elevator so that she can go to the first floor of the hospital and get a snack at the snack bar....

since she was getting better and eating more the doctor had gotten rid of the IV pole that she was linked to but there was still a mark on her wrist where the IV pole had been linked to her....

[....just a few more days.....

and the injuries that were hurting me and the strong smell of medicine will soon disappear...

and I guess....there’s nothing that I can hold onto you with now....so I guess this is good bye to you too

bye

bye

bye

bye

...........................................good-bye.......................................]

Hannah murmured bye over and over again to herself..........even though she knew that she could never let go of him........even though she knew that she could never say good-bye to him.......she kept repeating the word bye over and over

[.......if I keep saying bye.......

will my heart listen to me and forget you?

As long as I keep my mind to it........i will forget you sooner or later.....right?.....]

“...ah jum ah....” (Hannah calling the lady that works at the snack bar)

“...aigoo....you’re back again so soon miss?....”

the lady that works at the snack bar greeted Hannah with a bright welcoming smile

and Hannah expected that from her.....because ever since Hannah had entered the hospital she has been buying most of the products from the snack bar

“...ah jum ah...can I get some popsicles please....”

“...of course of course...i’ve been saving one for you....”

since Hannah popsicles that nobody really likes the lady of the snack bar had no more worries on how to sell all of her popsicles she had in stock

after buying several popsicles she walked out of the snack bar and headed for her room while eating her popsicles one by one

“...mMm....yummy...”

Hannah didn’t know when she started to thisbut.....all of a sudden.....her main way of getting through her days was pretending to be happy and bright....

she felt as if all her pain and her sadness disappeared when she pretended to be happy but as soon as she stops doing her acting of being happy sadness overwhelms her once more

“....f***!!!!.....leave me alone!!!!...”

as Hannah stood waiting for the elevator and eating her popsicles she heard shouts coming from one part of the hospital

“....???......”

“....leave me alone!!!!...........leave me alone so that I can die!!!....”

“....!!!!!!.....”

“...leave me alone you bastard!! f***....i want to die so leave me the hell alone!!!!”

and as Hannah turned around to the area where all the noise was coming from she saw a shocking scene

a guy was coming out of the ambulance car with blood spilling out of his wrists and the blood didn’t seem like it was going to stop anytime soon

and he was screaming at them to leave him alone so that he can die

since the elevator was very close to the emergency room she saw this whole scene easily

“crazy bastard”

she brought her mouth away from her popsicle and stared after the cart that was rolling the suicidal guy to the emergency room and said the words ‘crazy bastard’ in a low voice

[......why.........

are you trying to kill yourself?

Even I am trying to get through this crappy thing called life

Even the trash-like me is going through life day by day

Why are YOU trying to kill yourself?...........]

After seeing this scene Hannah headed for her room....not knowing that she would see this person again by fate....

love

is so easy to feelbut so hard to forget

the person who leaves doesn’t feel the pain of forgetting your loved one because they are leaving them

but the person who is letting their loved one go......can feel the pain of loss easily and clearly....

there are many people who have fallen in love onceand there are many people who have fallen in love twice

but

there is no such thing as true love

we as humans cause too much pain and grief that there can’t be something so good as true love.....

we don’t deserve it

DOBYUK PRINCESS<<48>> {featuring choonjae park AKA junjin}

==================================================================

I crossed the sea

I crossed through the mountains

And went through a storm just to be with you

Just to be together with you

But I find myself

Back at where I started

==================================================================

“........what?....”

Hannah had been sitting on her bed when she heard some surprising news from the nurse that brought Hannah her dinner tray

and seeing that Hannah didn’t fully comprehend what she was saying the nurse touched the black rims of her glasses lightly and repeated what she said once more in an annoyed voice...

“...the hospital is pretty crowded right now so we were wondering if you would mind sharing your room with one other patient....”

“......................”

“.....do you mind?......”

“...............do whatever you like.........”

Hannah replied to the nurse in a careless tone of voice and brushed her hand through her light brown hair

[........i don’t care who comes in to share this room with me........

it has nothing to do with me......]

************************************************************************

even though Hannah had said that she didn’t care who came in to share the patient’s room with her........when her room mate arrived she couldn’t help but be curious as to who he was....

“...who is he??....he looks sort of familiar...”

they had placed one more bed in the small room

and Hannah sat on her bed staring at the guy that was sleeping on his bed

white skinstraight noseand even though he was guyhis face was prettier than most girls Hannah knew of

and sitting thereit didn’t take Hannah very longto remember who this guy was

<...leave me alone you bastard!! f***....i want to die so leave me the hell alone!!!!>

if Hannah’s memory was correctthis is the guythat she saw earliergoing into the emergency room with blood pouring from his wrist

“...aish.....what kind of room mate is this?....”

Hannah remembered all too well the blood that had been flowing from his wrist as he was going into the emergency room

then Hannah got up from her bed and went closer to his bed to look at his patient’s reference card

name: choongjae parkage: 18gender: male

and beneath the information in big letters was the words...

[intentional injury]

“..tsk tsk...suicide?......what is this world coming to?....young kids now-a-days will do anything to get attention.......”

[..........but............it seems to me............that you’re better off than I am.......

at least you decided on what you wanted to do with your life....whether you wanted to live or die...

you decided that you would go with suicide

but

I haven’t decided on what I want to do with my life...whether I want to keep living this nightmare....or just end it....

I think that you’re better than I am.....much better....]

“...hmm....he doesn’t look that bad though.....”

the guy named choonjae was asleep on his bed not knowing that Hannah was next to him staring at him.........

his wrist was covered with a white bandage cloth

his skin was whiter than of any girls’ and his hair was long for a guy and he had the same colored hair as Hannah

Hannah could tell right off that choongjae was a rebellious sort of kid

“...keke....you look pretty good to me....but....what kind of name is choonjae??..ahah...”

his name didn’t seem to go along with what he looked like and Hannah laughed to herself while looking at him

and because of the noise that Hannah was making choongjae was slowly starting to wake up from his sleep....but Hannah didn’t know that and she just kept chuckling to herself...

“...f***....who the hell is being so noisy....”

Hannah was surprised at the low voice that she heardand at the cuss words that was first to come out of choongjae’s mouth

“.................”-Hannah

“........who the hell are you?...”

when choongjae had finally pried his eyes open the first thing he saw was Hannah and he talked to her in a very irritated voice

[..........this...........this.......jerk........

he shouldn’t talk to me like that

he’s younger than me.........]

“...................”

“...i said who the hell are you!!!!!!!?”

choongjae raised his voice and started to get angry at Hannah

and because of choongjae’s attitude Hannah’s old personality and attitude slowly started to come back to her....

“...aish....who the hell are you to yell at me!?....i’m the person who occupied this room long before you came rolling in....”

Hannah gave a small frown and let her anger out for the first time in a long while

“...i don’t give a shit about that.....why the hell were you staring at my face?...”

“........-.-.........since this room is so plain and dull there was nothing to stare at so I just stared at your face to keep myself entertained......there!......are you happy?...”

Hannah was beginning to get more and more angry as she saw that choongjae was pretty fast at his come baks and smart ass comments

“...shit.....if you have nothing to f***in do then go sleep and don’t stare at my face....”

after seeing the bandages on his wrist choongjae’s face became blank and he talked to Hannah in a guarded voice

“................................”-Hannah

it was then when Hannah thought......

[............this person..............is so much like me..........]

and realized that it was true

his attitude toward people that he first meets and his way of talking to them was exactly the same as Hannah’s before she met minwoo

“............................you’re 18 years old right?....”-Hannah

“....that’s none of your damn buisness....”

as Hannah remembered reading his patient’s reference card she started to talk to choonjae....... who was lying down and covering his eyes with the arm that was in good condition......

and choongjae answered Hannah’s question with a voice that sounded like he was holding back his anger

“...........i’m 2 years older than you....”-Hannah

“....so?....”

“.......show some respect......”

this was the same conversation

that Hannah had with minwoo in his car the second day they had met

and Hannah gave a bitter smile at the memory of their conversation

[..........i think I’m slowly beginning to turn into you.......

just like the sunflower that follows the sun’s rays

I think that I’m following you in your words.......]

“.....shut up......don’t tell me what to do and get the hell away from me....”

[.........what am I going to do?..........

he reminds me of myself........this choongjae guy is so much like what I used to be................

and seeing this......i’m reminded of you again.........and I miss you more than I did before....

and I am also beginning to hate myself......me......who is starting to follow you in your words.....................

what am I going to do?.........]


=================================================================

Should I say one thing??

.......................there is no such thing as love in this world

=================================================================

“...do you want to go out and eat dinner tonight??...”-minwoo

“...really??...”

as minwoo was about to go outside and head for work he felt nalae’s hands working on his tie and he asked her quietly

“...what do you want to eat?...”-minwoo

“...hmm....what can you buy me??...”

nalae asked minwoo playfully and gave him a pretty smile

“......what about.........california rolls?.....”-minwoo

“................you know I don’t like california rolls................i want spaghetti!!...”

minwoo was surprised at himself for suggesting california rolls

[......what was I thinking??......why did I suggest california rolls??...i don’t even like california rolls and I knew for a long time now that nalae didn’t like california rolls either....

why did the words california rolls come out of my mouth??.............]

“...alright...then do you want to eat spaghetti and then go watch a movie afterwards?...”

“...yea!...”

nalae replied minwoo in a babyish voice and minwoo gave Hannah a bright smile

“...there’s a great action movie that just came out...do you want to watch that??...”

minwoo had known that nalae despised action movies

but.....those words just popped out of his mouth......

[.........why am I doing this??........am I going crazy??.......why do I keep asking her stuff when I already know the answer to them....]

“...i don’t want to watch an action movie on our date....let’s watch a love story...”

“.....................................okay.............i’m going to go to work now.....”

“.....okay....bye bye oppa!!....”

“........come outside when I call later okay?....”

“....alright....”

minwoo hugged nalae tightly and then walked out of the house

while he waited for the elevator to come up the vision of nalae’s smiling form disappeared and was replaced by another person’s face

---------------------------------------------------------------------“.......anyways...what are you going to buy me?....” “.....what do you want to eat?..........” “....california rolls! California rolls! California rolls!..” ---------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“..it’s SUCH an obvious love story..the two lovers meet by fate...and somehow by fate they keep meeting each other and then fall in love...and right when they think that nothing could make them unhappy...something horrible happens..........but at the end it’s a happy ending............ughhh......how boring~~~~”------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[..........the person who likes california rolls..........

and I couldn’t keep my promise to her because the day I promised to buy her california rolls I met nalae........

........the person who hates love stories.........

she complained about it throughout the whole flight to england...

.......Hannah cho-

dammit

what am I thinking about??....it’s just a coincidence that I suggested california rolls and an action movie.....i wasn’t reminded of california rolls and an action movie BECAUSE of Hannah....i was reminded of Hannah BeCAUSe of the california rolls and the movie

there’s nothing to worry about

nothing to feel so bad about

nothing to worry about.........................]

*******************************************************************

[..i should change my hair style....]

minwoo thought to himself as he looked at himself in the mirror that was provided in the elevator of his buisness building

his silver colored hair was slolwy fading away and his black roots were showing

his hair has grown long

“...mr. lee....your father wishes to speak to you right away...”

as soon as minwoo entered his office his secretary talked to him through the intercom

then minwoo got up and walked slowly to his father’s office

*********************************************************************

“...i got a short summary of what happened from mr. Choi.....what happened??...”

as soon as minwoo walked through the door his father questions him on what happened

and minwoo’s face turned dark

“..........................the truth is............”-minwoo

[......i have to tell him.......

I have to tell him that I kicked Hannah out because of nalae

That nalae is living in our apartment instead of Hannah

I have to tell him that I will never regret kicking Hannah out of our apartment

That I’m happy living with nalae

Sometimes

I feel sad and guilty when Hannah’s figure forms in my head

And it’s hard for me to go on with what I was doing

But it’s okay

Because nalae makes me happy...............]

“.........the truth is............na-...”

“.....is it true that Hannah just moved out of the apartment?! Without saying anything??...what’s going on here??....”

“.....!!!!!!!!!!!....”

at his father’s words minwoo momentarily lost his balance and his face turned blue

<“.....don’t worry about it minwoo lee........it’s over and done with when I become the person who takes the blame....>

[......she was telling the truth........

she really meant it when she said that she would take the blame for everything

I thought she had just said that so that I wouldn’t worry about getting in trouble by my father.....

But

She really

Really

Meant it

Did you really want to get the blame for this???

No

That’s not right

You’re not the type that would do take the blame for other people

Then what is it?? What was going through your head when you said this??

Did you want to make me feel even more guilty than I already am by taking on the blame also??.................]

A thousand questions ran through minwoo’s head

But no answers came with it

The more he thought about it....the more confused he got

“what happened??....”-father

“..................”

“is Hannah living with you right now??..”

“................”

[...........it was me.......

I kicked her out

She didn’t want to live with me anyways

And then nalae showed up...and I guess it was perfect timing

Dammit

Why am I feeling all this guilt??Hannah was the one who walked out of the apartment on her own

I never asked her to leave............]

Minwoo told himself this a million times but no matter what he tried to convince himself with.....he always felt the guilt fresh and clear

“....i should have suspected something when mr. Choi just handed Hannah over like she was nothing....”

“...................”

minwoo’s father talked in a slightly angered voice

it was obvious that minwoo’s father was mad because minwoo’s fiancee had run away and it made minwoo wear that sad/guilty expression on his face all the time

“.....i should’ve known that she was trouble maker....i’m sorry minwoo...i guess I made a wrong judge of character....but don’t be too disappointed....i’ll find a better girl soon...”

“.......................”

minwoo was slowly getting angered by his father’s words

especially the words....

minwoo would have told his father that he was the one responsible for this mess...that he was the one who kicked Hannah out...and that way his father wouldn’t hate Hannah so much....

but

he was more worried about what would happen to nalae

he was afraid that his mother might do something to nalae that would take her away from him again....

he didn’t want to lose nalae again

so he just swallowed his guilt and stood their quietly

without saying a word

[.........nalae and i........

have went through a lot

........we’ve endured a lot of pain......and a lot of hardships

it’s time for us to be happy

happiness.....is what I want.........

so in order for me to get to that happiness

is it okay if I don’t worry about you so much Hannah??

Please

I beg you

Don’t make me feel more guilty than I already am

I’m not a nice guy who does nice things in order to get rid of his guilty conscience

So please

Get out of my dreams

Get out of my thoughts

I don’t want to see your face appear in my mind anymore

Don’t make me feel

This pain that I feel whenever I think of you...for some unknown reason.............]


=================================================================

If I could go back in time to when I first met you

I have a feeling that I wouldn’t be like this right now

If I could go back in time

I would have tried hard to find a person better than him

So that I wouldn’t have to go through this pain

=================================================================

[......when I was little I used to have this dream.....

I used to dream that I was falling off a cliff..and I even remember how my body felt like it was turned off or something

People said that dreams like those are dreams that are telling you that you’re going to grow taller....

But....i’m 20 years old now....and I’ve grown all that I could...

I’m standing on a cliff right now....beneath my feet are some rocks but that’s all that I can see

Somebody....just pushed me

And now

I’m falling.....into the clear blue sky.....

I feel like my body is being turned off and that I have no strength in my body...

But strangely

I had enough strength...to turn my head around...and look up at the cliff

I saw two familiar faces

Those two faces were smiling cruelly at me

As I keep looking at those two faces

One part of my heart begins to shake and tremble

I hold out a hand and start to call them..........................

“....m...i....n...w...o....o............m....i.....n....w-”

“hey!...get up!!...”-choongjae

choongjae couldn’t sit there any longer watching Hannah call out some unknown guy’s name and sweating in her nightmare

so he yelled at her to wake up

then Hannah quieted down in her sleep....and slolwy pryed her eyes open

“................”

“.....damn!...what kind of girl has such bad sleeping habits!?...”

[......ha......

it was a nightmare

it wasn’t a dream that was telling me that I was going to grow taller

it was just

a

stupid

nightmare.........]

Hannah just smiled widely at choongjae

[......hmm.......didn’t I tell this jerk to show me some respect yesterday~?!....]

“....MR. CHOONGJAE PARK!....i remember asking you to show me some respect when you talk to me yesterday....”

“....are you taller than me??..”

“..........-.-;;;;.....no...”

“...than I don’t have to show any respect to you....anybody who is shorter than me is younger than me no matter what....i only show respect to people that are taller than me....”

“...-.-++...”

[.....this jerk has got some issues.....

what??....people that are shorter than him are younger than him no matter what??

This guy is either just as crazy as me or he just has a unique way of looking at things...]

“...i just dreamed that I was falling off a cliff so that means that I’m soon going to grow taller....so show some respect!...”

“...haha....did you just say that to me to make me laugh??..”

Hannah looked at choongjae’s laughing face and she smiled at him

[......Hannah Choi.......

your dirty habit has not died down yet...

you’re just having a bit of trouble right now

because of the thing called love..

but like someone said......time is medicine....

it’s going to be alright soon.....

.......i have to believe that.......

I have to believe that it’ll be alright soon....]

Hannah and choongjae sat there laughing

And then....suddenly....one guy comes through the door of the patient’s room....breaking the happy atmosphere....

And choongjae’s face....suddenly turned from a happy expression.....to a blank face....

“....................................”DOBYUK PRINCESS<<51>>

“................................................”

“........bastard.........”-jungmin

choonjae looked at the guy that just entered their room with surprised eyes

the guy had expensive looking silver glasses on that gave him a stern look

the intruder had a cold expression on his face and talked to choongjae in an even colder voice....

and Hannah sat in her corner of the room watching jungmin with big eyes

“..ha....aren’t you too busy to see me here hyung??...”

after jungmin slammed the door and walked steadily to choongjae’s side choongjae smirked at him and looked at him bitterly

*-pUhK

not even bothering to answer choongjae’s sarcastic question jungmin punched him in the face and blood came from choongjae’s busted lip

“....what the hell is wrong with you!!!!...........”

“.....there’s nothing wrong with me so get the hell off me...”

after hitting choongjae in the face jungmin lifted him up by the collar of the patient’s robe

after wiping the blood off his mouth choongjae glared at his brother

<.....what the hell is wrong with you!!!!!.....>

[...my father always used to say this to me....and it made me feel so bad and it pissed me off.......]

*-pUhK

jungmin’s fist found its way to choongjae’s face once more

“......damned bastard.....i warned you.....if you did something stupid again I would punish you.....”

“......punish me???.....haha.....and what would my punishment be??....killing me??....go ahead....i already tried and I didn’t succeed so maybe you can do the job for me...”

jungmin glared at choongjae

*-pUhK

jungmin aimed at choongjae’s stomach this time...

“....mother fainted because of you......”

“......................................................”

“....thanks to you our family is getting more messed up everyday....unthankful bastard.... shouldn’t you live quietly and be thankful that we actually picked you up and took care of you!?...”

“....you can stop there jungmin park.....”

picked you up and took care of you was the phrase that made choongjae suddenly turn quiet and scary

[......you can stop there jungmin park.......

I endured your verbal abuseI endured your physical abuse

For 18 years

Without fighting back...

Even though we didn’t have one drop of the same blood

I didn’t fight back....because you were a brother.....until now........]

*-pUhK

and jungmin ignored choongjae’s warning and punched choongjae again

“......after taking you in from the streets where you were left to die and taking care of you.....this is-”

*-pUhK

this time....instead of choongjae getting hurt it was jungmin who was on the ground

choonjae looked at jungmin coldly

“..........f****in bastard.......i told you to stop there....”

“..................”

“....why don’t you be a little more honest to yourself??....after I came into the family all the love that you had received came to me and you were just J E A L O U S.....”

“.......what!?.......”

“......please stop..........”-Hannah

as soon as jungmin heard what choongjae said he got up from the floor and clenched his fists getting ready to hit choongjae again but Hannah interrupted before anything got out of hand.....

[......i know this isn’t any of my buisness......and I know that if I butt in I’ll just get myself into crap that I don’t need.....

but

I feel like I should interrupt this fight

I understand basically what’s going on by listening to you and your brother’s conversation............i understand that you were taken in by a family that isn’t realted to you....

So I feel like I should help you instead of just standing by and watching your brother beat you up.....

I guess I should remind your brother that you’re a patient and that you have to get your wrist treated........

And I just can’t watch this fight anymore......you remind me so much of myself.......memories of my rejection from my family floods back to me....and I can’t bear it......]

“......this is none of your buisness so stay out of it......”-choongjae

choongjae told Hannah in a low voice

but....Hannah completely ignored choongjae’s words

“...umm....person who is choongjae park’s brother....?.........yea.....you.....that jerk over there isn’t the only person who is occupying this room......i am here too.....and I don’t really give a damn if you want to beat him to death or not...but do you mind doing it after he gets better???....and please leave now.....i want to get some sleep....”

Hannah talked to jungmin in a rude manner

but jungmin just stood there and didn’t say anything

“..........i’ll see you later..............i’m paying for the medical bills and leaving......................”-jungmin

jungmin stared at choongjae one last time and then left the room

“...haha...”

as soon as the door closed choongjae chuckled to himself

“........................”

“......you’re such a dumbass.....how can you butt into things that’s none of your buisness like that??.....”

“..............-.-..............”

Hannah just stared at him and said nothing

“.....dammit......i get a busted lip as soon as I open my eyes in the morning........”

“.......oh yea!!.....your injury.......”

“..................................?..............................”

choongjae softly touched his lip and that was when Hannah finally saw the injuries on choongjae

Hannah ran to his side and stared intensely at his lip and searched his face for other bruises or cuts

“......i better put some medicine on your lip......”

“.....-.-........forget it.....just do whatever it is that you have to do and leave me alone.....”

“.........i’ll go buy the medicine......you better be thankful that you got to share your patient’s room with a nice nuna like me.......”

“.......-.-;;;;;;;..............-.-++...........whatever......”

as soon as Hannah left the room choongjae stared at the door and said.....

“.....what a strange person.......”

======================================================================


====================================================================

I want to get closer to you

So don’t play any tricks on me

Please

====================================================================

“......why.......did you do it?...”

after taking care of his wounds Hannah went back to her own bed and questioned choongjae cautiously

it was a question that has been bothering Hannah ever since she saw this guy

why would anybody want to commit suicide?

“.....................”

but....choongjae just kept his gaze outside the window and did not respond to Hannah’s question

the sunlight hit his face perfectly making his face look radiant and healthy

“...hey!!!...CHOONG JAE PARK!...”

“...huh??...what??...”

Hannah called his name several time before choongjae finally heard her and gave her his attention

if you look closehe looks like a 15 year old boyfull of mischief and innocence

but mixed with thatis thesadnessthe griefthe stress

“...why did you do it~?...”

“....do what??...”

choongjae looked confused at Hannah’s question

“...attempting suicide........you know how people that always commit suicide have issues? It’s either because of their parents or...how the world has turned its back against them...or their friends betrayed them....is your reason one of those three??..”

“...ha...”

choongjae chuckled as he listened to Hannah name things that are usually the problems in soap operas or movies....

“...why are you laughing?...”

now that Hannah knew choongjae well she asked him questions and tried to pick a fight with him even though it was nothing...

but choonjae just ignored her bait and opened his mouth to answer her question on why he tried to commit suicide

“...........i didn’t have a reason.........that’s why I did it...”

“.......-.-?..........you have no reason?...”

[.......how can he just throw his life away without a reason??....

choongjae park....

you’re just as bad as I am

you’re just as lost as I am.........]

“....just....one day I wanted to die....and I saw a knife on the kitchen counter so I just took it and cut myself with it.....”

“..................-.-.......................”

choongjae even pretended to have a knife in his hands and pretended to cut himself with it....he acted as if it was nothing

Hannah just watched choongjae’s gestures without saying anything

she was too surprised to say anything

and seeing that Hannah wasn’t responding choonjae just kept talking

“.....there are a lot of things in this world that we can’t explain....just like the way the sun rises in the morning and the moon rises in the evening....we can’t control what we do...we just have to walk down the road that was made for us and deal with whatever problems we face the best we can.....that is what we call fate.....”

“.......................fate?.......”

“....some people’s fates are to just live a boring everyday life going through the same routine everyday.....with their eyes and ears closed to the senses of life....and they like that....they like to live their lives as boring as they possibly can....and i....i was bored with that....i didn’t like it....that’s why I chose to end my life...although it didn’t work...and that was my fate....”

[......at that moment I felt like someone hit me......

I can’t believe that there was a person who thought and saw the world in the same perspective as I did......

I couldn’t move or say something for a while...

Stealing vs suicide....

Although these were two VERY different things

We did them with the same thought in mind

I didn’t like the daily routine that I was expected to live and I was bored with my life...that’s why I started stealing......i wanted to feel those shivers of excitement run down my spine whenever I stole something....

You too......disliked the predictable and boring that life that you were living.....that’s why you chose death....to get out of it....

You and I.....are so alike.....

That’s why

That’s why

I pity you

I thought It was enough if I was the only person in this world who had to suffer and live a crooked life.....

But now that I know that there is another person like me in this world it makes me feel as if all my strength was draining out of my body and I just want to break down and cry....

The fact that you feel and see the world the same way I do

Makes me feel

Very

Sorry for you..............]

“.............................................”

“........ya!!!.......”

choongjae’s voice broke through Hannah’s thoughts....

“......ya!!....Hannah Choi!!!...”

“....i told you to call me nuna....”

“.....and I thought that I told you whoever is shorter than me is younger than me........don’t tell me what to do....”

“....haha.....”

[.........................watching choongjae’s disrespectful actions surprises me........but at the same time I’m reminded of how I acted towards minwoo when I first met him.....i did the same exact thing that choongjae did.....and it’s sort of funny how I’m surprised at choongjae’s actions after I’ve done them myself.......

I think

That if he was here with me right now

I would have said it

I would have said

Minwoo

...............oppa...............]

“....anyways....now it’s your turn to tell me your story....”-choongjae...


“.....my story?....”-Hannah

“...yes...your story.....you must have a reason for being here in this hospital room looking like an insane woman who has no life....”

“.....-.-^.....insane woman who has no life eh?....”

Hannah’s eyes turned to slits as she glared at choongjae...

“......all girls who have hair worse than a rat’s is considered an insane woman to me....so hurry up and tell me your story...”

[...............at the word ‘insane woman’ I suddenly got a sinking feeling.....

I don’t know why.......it’s so hard to go through the hardships that’s put to me now that I don’t even know what’s going on with my body or my emotions...

I think that the reason why I don’t know why I suddenly get this sinking feeling is because I’ve gone through too much that I can’t tell why I feel anything anymore......

Actually

I have to believe that......because if I think about the real reason........sadness will overwhelm me....and I don’t have the strength to handle that right now..........or ever.......]

“................................”

“...............................”

it was quiet as choongjae awaited Hannah’s reply and Hannah thought carefully on what to say.....

“................................”-choongjae

“......................I........”

after a while Hannah finally opened her mouth and began to tell her story

“.......................................”

“.................a few days ago I got hurt.......i was walking along a nice road where there was no stones to stumble upon and it was just perfect.....but I had forgotten....that roads like these always have a hidden ditch at the end......so I just walked that road....forgetting about the ditch and only knowing happiness.....then one day.....i just fell into that hidden ditch....and I got hurt......i got hurt so bad that I can’t ever heal from my injury....”

[.........ever since I fell into that ditch...............i can’t ever return to the nice sunny road.....my body can’t take anymore suffering.....and also because....the road is too high up from where I am.....i fell too deep in the ditch that trapped me.....]

“...................................”

“.....aish...i really do seem like an insane woman don’t I?....i don’t know what I’m blabbing on about...forget what I said...it was a whole butt load of bull shit anyways...”

Hannah forced a happy smile and then turned to face the wall and layed down...then the tears that she had been hiding from choongjae slid down her cheeks and she wiped them quietly with the sleeve of her patient’s gown....

[.....i should have know from the start.........actually.........i should have prepared myself.....if I had prepared myself.....then I wouldn’t be in the same position as I am right now....]

“.......................”

“.....you...............got......dumped by a guy didn’t you?......”

“...NO!....NEVER!!!........if you don’t know anything then shut your god damn mouth...”

Hannah glared at choongjae and yelled at him for asking such an absurd question...

“.....why don’t you get a little more honesT?It says ‘I got dumped’ written all over your face”

“.....................................”

[.....what am I supposed to say?

I can’t say that I was dumped because he and I were never an official couple....but then again....to say that I wasn’t dumped was too obvious a lie....because I truly was dumped and rejected....

Shit

If you ask me questions like these.....i can’t give you straight answers....]

“....it was just a one sided thing....i liked the guy from start to finish by myself......but I guess he got sick of me hanging around....i’m not so important that I have a right to be dumped....”

after thinking carefully for a few minutes...she finally opened up her mouth and replied to choongjae

[......dammit..........

please......give me some type of sadness that I can deal with.....some type of sadness that suits me.....i don't sadness because of love.....or anything like this......give me something that I’m used to......

something that I can handle.....................]


===========================================================

“...choongjae ya~~....this cool nuna is leaving the hospital today~”

“...oh yay!...finally the girl that talks non-stop is going to leave me alone~!...”

“....-.-....i’ll see you after I get my bandages taken off....”

Hannah raised her hand with the white bandage and gave him a threatening look

but choongjae just laughed it off

is it because they’re so much alike that they understand each other?

Choongjae had fallen into a black hole of despair and was lostHannah had also fallen deep into her own grief and sadness

But

Whenever they were around each other.....they shared a bright happy smile....and were always happy around each other...

Not fake

But...they shared a sincere happiness with each other

...........but.....when choongjae’s frenz comes to visit him.......or when minju comes to visit Hannah....they would turn cold and distant....

“...i’ll be right back....i need to get these bandages taken off....”

“..................”

after Hannah left the room to get her bandages taken off choongjae sits up on his bed and is lost in his thoughts...

[.....i finally met a person that actually seems human.....

and now she’s walking out of my life too soon

haha

what was his name?.....lee...m....in.....woo?...

the bastard that rejected Hannah Choi

it seems to me that he made a big mistakeeither that or he doesn’t know how to look at girls

if I was him

I’d never

Let a girl like her

Slip through my fingers

I would never have thrown her away

Minwoo lee

You made a mistake

And a very big one at that....]

============================================================================

*-knock knock

“...come in...”

Hannah heard the strict voice of her doctor and cautiously entered the room

“...umm....you said...that....i got to remove the bandages today.......................”

“oh!....please.....sit here...”

Hannah walked over to the chair that the doctor offered and sat down

then the doctor started to cut off her bandages in quick movements

“................”

“....okay we’re done.....you should be happy that there are no major scars left...”

“................”

[.......the words.... ‘okay we’re done.....’ somehow sounded like..... ‘okay....it’s time to forget him now...’ to me....

as I thanked the doctor and leave the room

only one thing is in my mind

.......it’s time to forget him.......

let’s forget him

.......but........i am only human.......and I can’t help but feel the sorrow...of forgetting him......]

“......JJAN!....your nuna has returned with two beautiful hands!....”

as soon as Hannah walked into the room she rushed over to choongjae’s side and showed off her newly healed hands

“...go away....”

choongjae slapped her hands away while trying to hide his laughter

[......when he laughs like that he just seems like a little trouble maker.....

it’s the first time

that I actually believe that a person’s laughter can make another person want to smile....]

whenever choongjae laughs

Hannah also smiles brightly along with him

.....the only thing that Hannah didn’t like.....was.....that........she herself.....was the only person that has seen choongjae’s pretty smile....only her...

“....nuna is going home today...”

“so?..”

“...aren’t you at least a little bit saddened?...”

“....hell no...”

choongjae tried to cover his face so that Hannah wouldn’t see that he really was sad to see her leave

even though it had only been two weeks since they’ve met it felt like they’ve known each other for 1 or 2 years

“...you’re going to miss nuna huh?...”

Hannah looked at choongjae eagerly expecting an answer

“...are you crazy?...why would I miss you?....i’ll just be able to rest more easily with you gone...”

[.....i know....that choonjae doesn’t mean what he says right now....

I know.....because I was like that too once.....

I used to tell myself that I was okay with all the attention my unni was getting....i used to pretend that I was okay and I didn’t need the love of my parents or any of my family members....

And what is saying to me right now

Is not true

He’s lying and pretending

Like I used to.............]

“...your nuna here will give you her precious cell phone number so call me whenever you get bored....”

“................................”

“...well....i am a very busy person....BUT...if you call...i will make time for you~....”

“....haha....what a whole bunch of bull shit...”

“....you....need to get a new vocabulary system into your head instead of all those bad words...”

Hannah just took any piece of paper and wrote down her cellphone number....then she handed it to choongjae....

[.........you seem.........to radiate.....some kind of refreshing smell........

I am thankful that I met you when I did.....it would have been hard for me to go through all that crap without you.....

Thank you

For making me feel so comfortable...

Choongjae ya.....thank you....]

Soon minju arrived to pick Hannah up and Hannah took her time getting her stuff and saying her goodbyes to choongjae which made minju frustrated and angry....

Then finally Hannah was done and she was walking out of the doorway

“....bye bye choongjae....you better call and keep in touch with me or else you’re dead...”

“...haha....bye...”

choongjae said a short brief goodbye trying to keep his voice controlled

but you can see the disappointment that he was trying to hide in his voice on his face

“...bye bye~~~”

minju was at the point of dragging Hannah out of the hospital room while Hannah went as slow as she possibly could....

Hannah waved to choongjae and said her last goodbye and gave him a pretty smile

“......hey!!!!....Hannah Choi!...”

“........?........”

at the sound of choongjae’s yells Hannah escaped from minju’s death grip on her shoulder and ran over to choongjae....

“.......why’d you call?....”

“....give me your ear....”

“..............”

choongjae pulled at Hannah’s ear and brought her head down near his mouth and then he started to whisper quietly to Hannah....

then Hannah’s face slowly changes to a bright happy expression

[...i can still hear the words that choongjae whispered in my ear....his words has buried itself deep in my heart....i will never forget what he said....his words are like a tree....it has grown roots in my heart...and it won’t ever die...i will always turn back to this tree when I get lost and I lose my focus...cuz this tree will help me...

and....after I had heard choongjae’s advice....only one thing has been on my mind....and heart

I must forget him

I must erase him

I must change..................]


============================================================================

There is no place on this earth that I can run to

It’s all the same...

It’s all messed up...

============================================================================

“...minju ya....”

Hannah was sitting cross legged on the couch when she softly called minju as she was getting ready to go to work....

“...huh?....what?...”

“...can you lend me some money?......”

“....what?....money?”

Hannah asked carefully and minju stopped herself from buttoning up her uniform and looked at Hannah questioningly....

“.......................”-Hannah

“.....what are you gonna use it for?....”

“....just.....stuff.....don’t ask me questions......can I just please borrow some money?....”

[.....i’m afraid that if I tell you what I’m gonna do with the money you won’t lend it to me.....

minju ya.....i’m going to change....i’m going to go back to my old self

the brat who had no manners and no respect for anyone.....the old Hannah Choi.....

*************************************************************************************

“....how would you like it done?...”

“............please....”

“....pardon me?.....”

“.....i said....can you please make me look so different that I wouldn’t be able to recognize myself in the mirror........”

minju had given Hannah the money she had asked for looking at Hannah suspiciously....and Hannah ignored minju’s looks and thanked her....

then she threw on any clothes on and walked to any salon she could find....

the lady started to wet Hannah’s hair with a water spray and then after a short while Hannah could smell the disgusting smell of hair dye....

the salonist’s skilled hands were swiftly putting hair dye onto Hannah’s hair....

Hannah didn’t even know what color her hair was being dyed....and she didn’t care....she just wanted to change....and that was all she cared about

[.......if pain and sadness was something that I could easily cover up with dye....then....i could handle it....i could go through with it....

I’m going to live life comfortable....just like choongjae said....

I’m not going to put up any efforts on trying to forget you....i’m not going to....]

“...it’s all done...”

how much time has passed?

At the sound of the salonist’s voice Hannah opened her eyes that she had closed during the process of getting her hair dyed and rose up to look at herself in the mirror....

“........................”

“.....how do you like it?........”

“....................................how............much?.....”

after a long silence the salonist carefully asked Hannah about her hair but Hannah just ignored her question and asked for the bill

Hannah went to the counter and payed for her hair

[.........it’s so weird..........

why does my reflection in the mirror seem so pathetic to me?

My short hair has been entirely dyed to a bright red....]

“....hah....”

people were buisily walking the cold streets shopping for christmas presents since christmas was so near....and people started staring at Hannah’s hair since it stood out from the white snow that was falling...

[........dammit.........]

Hannah let out a long sigh and wrapped her coat tightly around her to block the cold winter wind then started walking down the street

[....this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind....

but....it’s too late for that now....

my mind and body knows the truth now....

it’s time to forget....

and I will forget....]


============================================================================

you commited a sin

ever since you first smiled at me and made me fall for your smile

it’s your fault

you commited a sin

when you tried to win me with your stubborness

it’s your fault

you commited a sin

ever since the day we met

it’s your fault

============================================================================

“......yoyou’ve finally cracked.....”

after the sun had set and the cold wind started to blow harshly without rest

Hannah opened the front door and slowly walked in

and as soon as minju saw Hannah’s hair....the first words out of her mouth were {yoyou’ve finally cracked}

“....pu....puhahahhaa....”

Hannah started to laugh after seeing minju’s empty disappointed stare

Hannah purposely laughed loudly with a happy look

anybody could see that she was laughing

but.....Hannah felt more like dying then laughing at that moment

“...haha....why are you so surprised?...keke...”

Hannah passed by minju and hit her lightly on her head

she kept laughing until she reached her room

but....while she was laughing her eyes were saying something else....

tears had formed in her eyes...and were at the verge of falling....

*- kWaNG (sound of door slammed shut)

as soon as Hannah shut the door the tears immediately started to fall

“....heuk.................heuk.............” (sounds of her crying -.-;...)

Hannah sat down at minju’s desk and pulled out a tissue and wiped her tears away

but as soon as she saw her reflection in the mirror new tears started to fall

[.....what’s wrong with me?.......

why is it that whenever I look at myself in the mirror I seem so pathetic?...]

“...Hannah Choi!!!!!....what were you thinking!?!....what were you thinking when you dyed your hair like that?!”

since Hannah had locked the bedroom door minju couldn’t come in....but instead minju kept hitting the door and yelling at Hannah

“...are you crazy???...huh???....Hannah Choi!!!...open the door!...”

“...................................”

“......i should have suspected something when you asked me to lend you some money.....open the door now!!1......”

“..................................”

Hannah could still smell the nasty smell of the hair dye in her hair....and Hannah;s tears seemed to have stopped falling.....

it suddenly got quiet as minju gave up on banging on the door and leaned against it instead

“...you crazy brat....you’re not sane.....not sane....”

“......................................................”

Hannah just quietly listened to minju’s quiet murmurs

“....why don’t you just say it when you’re having a hard time?....why don’t you just talk about it when you’re in pain?........”

“.............................................”

[.........i can understand minju’s feelings and thoughts right now.......or at least some of it......

ever since I appeared everything was in chaos...............first I appear in front of her and then black out....then she had to take me to the hospital...and then there was that little meeting with minwoo in my patient’s room....

after that when minju brought me home I just stayed here doing nothing.....and now I come home with bright red hair.....it must be a lot of stress for her........]

“....Hannah Choi.....if....if you’re...”

“....................................”

“......if you’re doing this because of that minwoo lee person then-”

*-tAhK

“....minju ya....do you think you can find me a job?....”

“......!!!!!!!!!!!.....”

“....can you hook me up or anything?....”

as soon as the name minwoo lee came out Hannah opened the door and asked minju about something that was totally off the subject

minju’s eyes got big and round

but Hannah just ignored that

[.......that person and I have nothing to do with each other now...

minwoo leewill live his life however it was destined to him

and I will live mineas best as I can

and that’s that

minwoo lee and I never had anything in common since the first day we met

minwoo lee has probably forgotten about me by now

so it’s my turn now...

it’s my turn...................]


It was way past midnight and well into dawn...but since it was winter it showed now sign of that outside....

“...hah.....i’m sleepy....”

it’s been a few days since Hannah had started to work at a 24 hour mini market

and she rested her chin on the counter and gave a long sleepy yawn

even though it was a 24 hour mini market....after 11:00 pm people stop coming....

so Hannah was always nodding off to sleep around dawn....but....choongjae often called during her work hours to keep her company.....

*-tiNkLe

“...ya!....what kind of girl yawns so widely??...”

“...huh?...oOoOo...choongjae park!...what brings you here?...”

choongjae came to visit Hannah while she was working

even though it’s been a few days since choongjae had gotten out of the hospital there were still bandages wrapped around the wrist from the scar that was left...

“...what the hell happened to your hair?...”

“......heh heh heh.........do you like it...??...”

“...you look like a god damn tomatoe...”

“.....asshole....do you always have to talk to me like that?!....”

choongjae gave his honest answer to Hannah’s quiet question

“....here!....”

“....?....”

“drink it...”

“...are you buying this for me?...”

Hannah handed choongjae a warm cup of can coffee

and choongjae’s eyes turned blank at Hannah’s kindness

“...-.-.....of course.....this nuna here is buying this for you....”

“...where’d you get the money?...”

“...aish....even if I buy something for you, you complain!.....i can just take it out from my paycheck...”

Hannah started to yell at choongjae for his worries on her financial problems....

and as Hannah was yelling at him...choongjae covered his ears and gave Hannah a good smack on her head...

“...shit....my ear’s going to fall off...”

“...dammit....so what are you trying to say?...”

Hannah glared at choongjae and cussed at him

“...is it easy?...”

“...eh?....what?...”

“....this.....a job...”

“....oOo....of course....”

“....haha...”

they both opened their can coffees and steam rose up from their cups...

Hannah and choongjae were sitting on the curb in front of the mini market

“....hey!!.... i bought a present just for you....”

“..........????........”

“...it’s almost christmas.....”

“.....ohh.....”

Hannah gave choongjae her cup of coffee then ran into the mini market

and then

Hannah took out a nicely wrapped present from under the counter

“...JJAN!....”

“......-.-......”

“...what??....you don’t like it?...”

“......it....it’s....nice.....but how can you-”

“.....^^....presents all have a purpose...and the receiver should always use the presents they receive as much as they can.......you better wear your present this nuna gave you ....!!....”

“........dammit!!!.......-///////////-”

as soon as he took of the wrapping paper he saw that her present to him was a pair of boxers

his face turned dark in a matter of seconds

but he couldn’t say anything to Hannah since it was a present....but he couldn’t help wonder how she had thought of buying him underwear for christmas...-.-;;;;

and as Hannah kept asking choongjae for his opinion...

his face turned to a bright shade of red

[.....dammit.....i can’t believe this is what I have to go through at 3 in the morning....-.-....]

“....what do you want?...”-choongjae

“...no....it’s okay...this nuna of yours is a full grown adult and does not need to receive presents....”

“...then are you saying that you got me a present because I’m still a child?....”

“....you can say that.....or you could say that I’m the santa clause that goes around giving present to good little children....”

Hannah kept pushing their age differences to choongjae

“....what are you gonna do the day before christmas?....”

“.............?...........”

choongjae asked Hannah quietly

and Hannah’s eyes turned big and round at choongjae’s sudden question about her schedule on christmas eve

“...do you have any plans?...”

“...hehe....aww how sweet....you thought of playing with me on christmas eve?....it’s okay...go hang out with your girlfriend that night because this nuna has plans also...”

plans.........

they were plans that hasn’t even been arranged yet

but Hannah already knew how she wanted to spend her christmas

[.................minwoo lee.................

I’m going to meet you......

I’m going to see you and show you the newly changed me

After I meet you

That will be the last time I ever think of you

I want to see your expression when you see me

Actually no

I just want to see your face

Because the picture of your face in my mind has been fading....so I have to see you one last time to permanently stamp your picture in my head

I just want to see you one last time

I miss you so much

Just one last time...........]

“...hello?.....this is me....Hannah.....let’s meet.....i have something I want to say.....”

[...........i know..........i’m going to be in a lot of pain after my meeting with you is over.....but still.........]


===========================================================================

[....It’s been two weeks since I visited her from the hospital....and she called me and asked me to meet her

So I slowly walked to the café she asked me to meet at and saw a Hannah that I never expected to see....i never dreamed I would see her in this form...this....pitiful....form....]

“......................Hannah.......Choi....”

“...huh?...oh!...you came...”

[......what does she want me to say?....how does she want me to take this?....how does she want me to understand her strange actions??....what does she want me to do?....

bright red hairgrey contact lens

this wasn’t you....before....

her body had become more thin and pale then it was before......it looks as if there are only skin and bones left in her body....

are you truly...Hannah Choi?...

don’t smile at me brightly and pretend nothing is wrong....your new appearance is so...shocking...

“...........you...”

“...are you doing well after abandoning your fiancee and running off with your first love?...”

“.........”

Hannah bit her shiny lips and talked in a sarcastic voice..

her short red shiny hair was shining shimmering in the sunlight...

“...of course you’re doing well....you’d do anything for your first love wouldn’t you?....you can just throw anybody away and go to her can’t you?...”

“....................”

“...is your precious nalae lee doing well also?...”

her voice was harsh

[.....she has turned worse than when I first met her at the mall....she had turned bitter and cold....

Hannah Choi

....you didn’t...change so dramatically because of me....did you?...

you wouldn’t miss anything....you wouldn’t be sad....

so why have you changed so much?.....]

“...let’s stop...”-minwoo

“...what is there to stop with and what is there to go on with?....you cant tell me what to do...we aren’t like that...”

you couldn’t read any emotions in her eyes....not only because of her grey color lens...but also because...she had already tucked away her feeling and emotions...the only thing left in her eyes to read was the coldness...

“...why did you call me?...”

“...it’s exactly as I said...i just wanted to see you and your well brought up form...”

minwoo’s voice was icy and irritated

“...if you have nothing to say than I’m gonna go...don’t ever call me again if this is what you’re gonna say when you see me...”

[......should I be honest with you?....

Hannah Choi

you disappoint me

if you got out of our unwanted relationship then shouldn’t you at least live a more human-like life?...shouldn’t you at least try to do something with your life?....

dammit

why do I feel as I’m responsible for this....]

minwoo kicked back his chair and stood up...

he didn’t know why he was so angry...of course he got angry at Hannah’s sarcastic questions about him and nalae....but.....he also knew...that....that wasn’t the only reason why he was so angry...

“.......................”

“....................”

minwoo looked at Hannah with disappointment shining in his eyes...but Hannah just ignored his stare and kept watching minwoo’s moves...

Hannah’s lips curved up to a sour smile...

and her eyes.....shook......

minwoo stared at Hannah for a few more minutes...and then turned his attention away from her and turned his back on her coldly...

“..........................”

“...i’m leaving.....i hope that you don’t ever present yourself to me like this ever again....i don’t think I can be disappointed any more than I am today...but still.....i don’t like to be disappointed in you.........bye”

“....i just....”-Hannah

“....????.....”

as minwoo was walking towards the café door....he could hear Hannah’s small shaky voice...from behind

“...i just.......i just......wanted to ask you....”

“.........................”

“....if you’re doing well....if you’re happy......i’ve been in so much pain these past few weeks....but were you doing well?.....i hope you were....”

“....................”

Hannah’s eyes got foggy....and unclear

“...during the past few weeks....i’ve gone through a lot....but....were you having fun with the girl named nalae?....it got harder and harder to live day by day....but was it easy for you?

If it was.....if you were happy....

Then I just wanted to say thank you.....at least one of us was happy....

That’s what I wanted to say

I’m sorry....i’m not good at this kind of stuff....but...i guess...i just wanted to see you one last time...that’s all....”

Suddenly tears fell down Hannah’s eyes and rolled down her cheek...

The tears ruined Hannah’s face...

And minwoo just stood there staring at Hannah...

[......dammit........

why do I feel like I’ve just been punched in the face....]

“.....................”

“...ah!....did I tell you?...you’re a good guy....good enough to like....it’s a compliment so accept it...it will be the last compliment I ever give to another human being....”

“..........................”

“....this...is...”

Hannah went through her bag and got out a small paper envelope..

“...it’s my christmas present to you...they’re movie tickets....i noticed that you like funny movies...so that’s the tickets to the new movie coming out on christmas...go watch it with nalae...and have a good time...”

“.........................”

[......i remember when we used to rent movies and watch it......and you always laughed that heart warming laugh....

I guess now I can’t hear your laugh anymore...

But...nalae should at least hear your laughter and be happy.....

Your laugh...is too precious to just throw away...]

After Hannah was done talking she stood up from her seat and gave an awkward smile

Hannah purposely smiled so that she wouldn’t seem weak but instead seemed more tough...

But that didn’t work...she just seemed more pathetic...

Hannah rushed out of the café before minwoo could say anything

[....because of you...my determination of not trusting any humans has become even more stronger than it was before I met you...and the thing called love is something that is unknown to me now...

trust is something I don’t believe in.....

because of you......

...i have become so weak....but it’s okay....it’s okay...

because I saw your face...

even though I heard things that I didn’t want to hear from you....even though I became something that was annoying to you...

it’s okay

I will truly forget you now.........i swear.........]


==========================================================

I can forgive him now

I can forgive

The person who left me

==========================================================

“...shit!....”

*-gGeEk

minwoo slammed his fists down on the steering wheel of his car and parked it in a small corner

the tires made a squeaky sound as his black car that suited well with his cold personality screeched to a stop

*-pOoHk

as soon as the car stopped moving minwoo leaned his head against the steering wheel

his silver hair tickled his face as it slid down

and it seemed like...his hair was only adding to the frustration that he was feeling right then

the nice smelling shampooed hairtickled his nostrilsand the soft ends of his hair just added to the feeling

“.......haha..........”

it was not a situation to laugh in...but a small laughter escaped his lips

his eyes were heavy with exhaustion from thinking so hard

he was so surprised and shocked that he didn’t know how to react to it

his laughter was meaningless and was filled with confusion more than happiness

“........................”

his intensely complicated feelings made him feel like he was in a maze where you could not see the end

[.....i can’t see the end

.....i can’t see the end......

my mind has turned white and clear

the accidents that I caused after I met you still linger in my mind

after seeing your eyes full of sad tears

after hearing your voice full of pain

I’m lost and I have come to a dead end

I doubt that I will find my way anytime soon.....]

“....shit.....what is it that you want me to do?.....”

[......how do you expect me to interpret what you had said?......

thoughts of you liking me is trailing around in my head relentlessly

but the thought of you liking me just doesn’t seem right...

....i don’t know if I should abandon that thought...or accept it....]

“....hah.......”

[...no....thinking that you like me is bull shit....

from what I know you were a person who didn’t even believe in the word love

and plus

you despised me

so...

...so...

why did you stare at me with eyes so full of pain and sadness?......]

“...i don’t get you...........hah...........Hannah Choi.....i don’t understand you.....”

minwoo murmured to himself as he stared at the two movie tickets that Hannah had given to him as a christmas present...

[.........if.............if...........you did.........like me...............then why would you give me these movie tickets?....

and also

when you found me and nalae together....you acted as if you were free and you ran away from me....

if you did like me...then wouldn’t you have stayed?....’

“.....................”

[.....i’m beginning to get angry..........

but I don’t really have a reason to be angry

maybe it would have been better if I had never met you

then I wouldn’t be sitting here trying to analzye every word that pops out of your mouth

what is it that you want me to do?

How am I supposed to react to this situation?

What kind of decision are you expecting me to make?.....]

*---bRrRrrRrrRrr (..the sound of the phone on vibration mode...-.-;;...)

“....hello....”

minwoo flipped open his vibrating cellphone and answered it in a dull voice

he brushed his hair away from his eyes and leaned back against the driver’s seat

-oppa?...where are you?...why aren’t you home yet?!!...

“........................”

minwoo could hear nalae’s half worried and half irritated voice over the line

her voice brought minwoo away from his thought and back to reality

whenever Hannah’s name appeared for no reason he always turned to the name that was written on his heart

[nalae lee]

then minwoo turns cold and icy as he keeps thinking of nalae and Hannah and the situation he was in

-oppa....come home soon....k?

“.......alright...........”

[.....i can just forget what you said.....

but why is it bothering me so much?

Is it because I feel so guilty of what I did to you before?

Is it?......]

*-tAhk

minwoo snapped his phone shut and then started the engine

then his car started speeding home

[...yea....it’s because of my guilt that I can’t forget your teary eyes and painful voice...]


======================================================================

“is there something wrong?...”

when minwoo opened the front door and walked in nalae took one glance at his dark expression and knew something was wrong

“...no...”

minwoo just lightly touched nalae’s hair and opened his heavy mouth as she asked him what was wrong in a worried voice

his voice gave away how tired and exhausted he was from thinking so hard

[...i wonder what your expression would be if I told you what happened today....

I’m positive

You would take on a pitiful look in your eyes

And then feel as if you were responsible for hanah’s pain

I don’t want you to worry over something that you don’t have to worry about

This is my problem

My situation

It’s nothing

My heart will settle down soon...i don’t want to burden you with worries that are unnecessary...]

“...arent........you...hungry?...i made some food to give to you for dinner tonight...”

“..okay....i’ll go wash up and then we can eat...”

*- sSsSsSs ( shower sounds....hahaha...pretty pathetic huh?....-.-....)

minwoo stood in the middle of the shower letting the water wash over his face and body

he did not think of washing himself but instead just stood there soaking in the water

the warm water wet his hair so that the silver hair turned grey

::+:: ..during the past few weeks....i’ve gone through a lot....but....were you having fun with the girl named nalae?....it got harder and harder to live day by day....but was it easy for you?

::+:: If it was.....if you were happy....

::+:: Then I just wanted to say thank you.....at least one of us was happy....

[....there was so many things that was different

her once brown hair was dyed a bright red

and her hair was cut short

her already fragile body turned even more thin making her look like she was going to break at the slightest touch...

her feelings toward me had also changed...

her hate for me had vanished and was replace by love

she told me that she hoped I was happy instead of her

the old Hannah Choi was so prideful that if anyone lowered her self-esteem she was most likely going to kill them....she was so stubborn

the old Hannah Choi avoided getting hurt by people by hurting them instead

she told me she hoped I was happy in a watery voice

it hurt me to see her and hear her like that

::+:: ..ah!....did I tell you?...

::+:: you’re a good guy....good enough to like...

::+:: .it’s a compliment so accept it..

::+:: .it will be the last compliment I ever give to another human being...

I’m so surprised at the thought of you liking me

I had thought that it wouldn’t change anything if u do like me

I had thought that I would always love and stay by nalae’s side without hesitation

But what is this hesitant feeling that’s overwhelming me?

My head feels like its going to split from thinking about what to do so much....the blood that’s running in my veins feels like it’s frozen....i don’t know what this feeling is called...but I don’t like it....

My heart shakes whenever I think of the name Hannah Choi....i might be going through all this crap for nothing...i keep telling myself that I can take the easy way out

I can just forget what she said to me....and go on living my life with nalae

But

When I think about your fragile body....with your teary eyes...and shaking voice....my heart feels like it’s going to rip into two...

.........................................................That’s why..........................................................]


==========================================================================

I’m not going to be selfish any longer

I’m not going to hope you will stay by my side

And

I will no longer need your help

I don’t need help from you

When I’m trying to forget you

=========================================================================

she did not feel any regrets

she was actually happy with herself and what she did

“.......................”

[.....the fact that I’m breathing and living in this world.....day by day.....

the fact that I’m still living this pathetic life...

makes me feel large amounts of regret

.....but...

meeting him

and giving him the movie tickets...is not something

that I regret doing....

it was weird

I thought that when I see him

I would be overwhelmed with regret

But instead I just poured out buckets of tears in front of him...]

“.....whew.......”

Hannah wiped away her tears

and stood in front of a bus station that was close to the café in order to get to the grocery store she was supposed to work at

she did not even walk that much...but her legs felt like they were going to give out under her so she squatted down on the ground waiting for the bus to arrive

she let out a big sigh one after another

sighing had become something regular to her now....and if she didn’t give a big sigh at least once a day then there was something wrong...

“....eehk soohk hae jyu buh lyu ssu....nu lul eejt gae da go dah jeem ha nun eel.....ee jaen eel sang chu lum...”

the cold wind hit Hannah hard as she was sitting down in front of the bus stop...and Hannah just sat there singing a slow song

Hannah had never been interested in slow songs all her life

but right then she sat there humming to the song [guh jeet mahl chu lum] by park jung hyun

[.....people say that when you get dumped

it will seem like all slow songs have something to do with your situation

how is it that the words to this song is so perfect for the situation I am in right now?...

but...i didn’t get dumped

it was just some stupid act I put myself up to...

so why am I acting like a love sick puppy that just broke up with her bf?.....]

“...i should hurry and go to work...”

Hannah stopped singing her song and took out her cellphone to check what time it was

and

as she looked at the screen of her cellphone

she realized one thing

December 24th

Christmas eve

Tomorrow is

December 25th

The wonderful

Joyous

Christmas day

Without any effort one name appeared into her mind

Minwoo lee

[.....but.....you’re probably going to spend your christmas with nalae lee....

.........i.......

will spend my christmas

at a place

I think is the most memorable place...

It won’t matter if I’ll be sad once I get there

.....i can handle it.......]


==========================================

betrayal = grief pain sadness depression sorrow

==========================================

a bright orange light was shining upon a square shaped dinner table

the only sounds that could be heard at the dinner table was the sound of silver spoons hitting against bowls and plates

minwoo had come out of the bathroom with a towel lightly drying off his wet hair

and nalae had greeted him with a happy smile saying that she had made an omelette for him to eat...so he sat down and had been sitting down for all this time

minwoo just sat there staring at the rice pieces and moving it around with his spoon

“...is it good?...”

“......................”

“...OPPA!!...is it good?...”

“...yea?...oh yea...”

nalae sat across from minwoo and watched him eat/play with his food and finally asked him for his opinion on her cooking

but minwoo did not answer her because he was too deep in thought of something else

finally nalae yelled in order to get his attention and that was when minwoo looked up and gave her a dull voiced answer with a small fake smile

he had never ever dreamed that he would ever have to work up a fake smile in front of nalae...but here he was trying his best to keep his smile pasted in place

“...your weird today oppa...”

“...???...”

“...ever since you came home...you keep frowning...and you keep ignoring what I say...is there something wrong?...”

the confusion was so distracting

and minwoo couldn’t do anything...he was just sucked into the confusion...and didn’t know what was going on...

minwoo didn’t want nalae to know his distraction was because of Hannah so he kept cautious on what he said

so

he purposely gave a bright smile

but that only made the atmosphere awkwardly silent

“...oppa.....”

“......hmm?...”

“...you know...your fiancee person?....”

“...??...”

at the word fiancee minwoo’s eyes turned round and blood drained from his face as he looked at her

the spoon that was in his hand slipped and fell onto the plate that contained the omelette minwoo was supposed to be eating

*-jjENg

the sound was loud and clear in the silent room

he didn’t know what to expect from nalae

he was already afraid that nalae might think she was intruding on something that was nothing

and now her question was making minwoo’s mouth turn dry

“...is....your....fiancee....doing well?..”

“...................”

minwoo resisted the urge to give a sigh of relief as nalae just asked about Hannah’s well being

“...i don’t know...”

“...?!?!...”

“...she was a person that hated living with me...so she’s probably happy somewhere...”

[.....I’m probably going to regret

Not telling you

That her feeling for me had changed

I’m wondering if

I should tell you the whole story

And try to figure this problem out with you

...first....

.....first....

I’ll....

Try to solve this problem on my own

I will hurry

And try to bring myself out of the whirlpool of confusion that Hannah had sucked me into

And I will try to return to the old me

Oppa sohn uh loh hae gyul hal gae.....(your oppa will try to solve this on his own...)...............]


=====================================================================

the memories that we shared together

is now fading away

like an old picture

but just like an old picture

our memories are of great value

to me

=====================================================================

after eating his dinner

minwoo went to the white couch in the living room

to clear out his complicated mind

he reached over for the remote control

when

one thing

caught his eye

he stopped moving

and stared

the reason for his stillness

was because

his engagement picture with Hannah that had been resting next to the tv set

had disappeared

“...nalae ya...”

“...hmm?...”

nalae was in the kitchen clearing away what minwoo had eaten

[....you didn’t....

throw the picture away....

because of some foolish jealousy....did you?...]

“...did you clear away the picture of me and Hannah at the engagement party?...”

“...yea...i didn’t think we needed that picture anymore...”

at nalae’s careless answer...minwoo’s face turned into a dark frown

[...yea...

...you’re right...

the picture that I had taken with Hannah at the nightmare-like engagement party

is of no use to me

anymore

but

why do I feel

annoyed?..at the thought of you trashing it?...

if

Hannah Choi

still despised me...like she used to

then I wouldn’t care if u had thrown it away or not

but the problem is...she doesn’t despise me anymore...

her feelings toward me had changed

and that’s why I’m going through this frustrating confusion

and I can’t help but feel annoyed at the idea that you threw away that picture

ha

minwoo lee

you must be going insane.....]

“...why?...was it something I wasn’t supposed to clear away?...”

after seeing minwoo’s serious face nalae stopped what she was doing and asked quietly and carefully

“...no...it’s not that...it’s just....you should have at least asked me before you threw it away...”

nalae’s voice was filled with guilt and minwoo couldn’t say anything to her

so he just let out a shaky breath

and replied as if he didn’t care

“...i’m sorry...”

“..it’s okay...there’s nothing to be sorry about...”

“..but still....”

“...it’s okay...i...didn’t need that...picture.....anyways...”

minwoo accepted nalae’s apology

and told her that he didn’t need the picture

but when he said that

his heart shook...and hurt....

at the words

pictures of Hannah when he had first met her....up to today...went through his head like a slide show...

leaving happy memories in his head

[...Hannah Choi...

I just can’t figure it out

Not your feelings...

....but mine....]


====================================================================

The black darkness

Covers my eyes

I can’t see anything

And the darkness brings much fear inside of me

That’s why

I dream again today

For a bright light to save me

====================================================================

nalae was very sorry for throwing away Hannah and minwoo’s engagement picture

so she just quietly cleared away the dishes on the dinner table without saying anything

*-jjENg

“...ah~!...”

after staring at the empty space where the engagment picture had been for a while

minwoo was flipping through channels aimlessly in order to find a tv show that he liked

when he heard

the sound of glass breaking

and nalae’s small yelp

“......are you okay?...”

“...yea...it’s nothing...i just cut myself a little....but it doesn’t hurt....”

the glass pieces were in the sink

and red blood bled out of nalae’s hand

and onto the sink

after every drop of blood that fell

nalae’s face turned darker and darker

minwoo rushed over and inspected the injury

when minwoo had asked if she was okay

nalae scrunched up her face in pain

but assured him she was alright

after seeing that it was only a small cut...minwoo...began to relax

“..........................”

[.....i’m so stupid.....

I’m having dumb unnecessary thoughts again..

The question...{...how much was she in pain?...}

Went through my head

After picking up the broken pieces of the flower vase

And bleeding with cuts all over your hand

I can only wonder how much pain you must have been in

Even though it is a little too late to worry about that now

And

When you kept picking up those broken pieces

Without even realizing that your hands were getting cut up

I should have tried to stop you

But I didn’t

And that was my fault

You must have been hurting a lot if you had to go to the emergency room in the hospital

But still

Even at the hospital

I was being so distant and formal to you

You must have lost a lot of blood

The blood won’t stop coming out

Of nalae’s small cut

And you

You had cuts all over your hands

How much blood did you lose?

How much?

How much pain were you in?

How much...........]

“...................................”

[....the sudden thought of Hannah

is because I met her today

and I stressed over her so much

that’s why

she keeps popping into my head

but

I can’t explain this

Feeling of guilt and remorse wash over me...]

Thoughts of Hannah was occupying minwoo’s mind even though he was holding nalae’s hand

He felt bad and sorry as he thought of Hannah when she had picked up the broken glass pieces without any thought of what she was doing to her hand

[......you must have been in a whole lot more pain than nalae is in now

why didn’t I stop you when you started to pick up those glass pieces?....

why did I do something so stupid?.....]

“....................................”

[.....i’m sorry Hannah Choi.....

I’m sorry that I acted so cold to you at the hospital

When you were sick and being treated for your injury

I’m sorry that I just let you leave when you had so many wounds on your hands

I’m sorry............]

Minwoo didn’t know how to react

To this sudden wave of guilt that was washing over him

So he silently begged

For forgiveness

As he treated nalae’s hand.....


=====================================

If loving you...

...was a sin....

...if it was........................

=====================================

“...oppa today is christmas~~~~....”

“....yea....”

it was snowing outside as if to declare to everyone that today was christmas

nalae, who had just woken up, hugged minwoo from behind and talked with a happy tone

and minwoo just replied sullenly as he felt nalae’s body from behind

[.......is it because you and I are getting so used to each other?....

why don’t I feel the...excitement of christmas running through me like it used to...?...]

“...let’s go to some good restraunt and have a nice dinner...”

as nalae spoke of dinner minwoo suddenly remembered the movie tickets that Hannah had given to him

so he slowly turned around to face nalae and opened his mouth

“...nalae ya....”

“...hmm?...”

“...i happen to have two movie tickets.....do you want to go see it?...”

as the picture of Hannah’s crying form as she took out the movie tickets and handed it to him flashed in his memory...he carefully asked nalae if she wanted to see the movie

“.............movie?...”

nalae slightly frowned at the word movie and showed her dislike

“...yea....it’s a comical movie....i heard it was pretty good...”

“...NO!....”

at nalae’s defiant answer minwoo’s eyes went round with surprise

“....???....”

“...what? movie?...i wanted to spend my christmas with you at a romantic restraunt eating and talking...not spend half our day watching a big screen.....and also...you want to watch a funny movie???...”

at minwoo’s suggestion of watching a movie

nalae became angry and began to yell at minwoo...it was very unlike her to be angry...

“.....................nalae ya..........but still........”

[....but Hannah gave us these movie tickets.....

even though she likes me....she gave us these movie tickets thinking of you...and me..

Hannah Choi

was probably in a lot of heartache

when she was buying these tickets

if we don’t watch this movie

it’s like...sinning against her.......again

there are so many things that I did wrong to her

that I can’t afford to do it again

we have to watch this movie.....]

“.....no!...i don’t want to oppa!!....this is our christmas that we are going to spend together in a long time...and I want it to be perfect!...wh-”

“what’s wrong with watching a god damn movie!!!!!!!!!”

seeing that nalae was just ignoring minwoo’s pleading voice...minwoo yelled at her without planning to...

and minwoo’s eyes went big with surprise again

...it seems that now-a-days minwoo was always annoyed

or angry with nalae

“...why do you want to watch a movie so bad!?!?!?...”

“...because....i got these two tickets......”

“...movie tickets aren’t even that expensive!!!...you can just pretend that you never had them in the first place!...why are you being so stubborn!!!....”

“..........................”

nalae was surprised at minwoo’s angry voice...and so she started to yell back at him...with tears glistening in her eyes....

and minwoo was also surprised at nalae’s new form

[.....it’s the first time.....

that you have ever been angry with me....]

“...i don’t want to spend my christmas in front of a movie screen...i want to talk about things with you...i want to see your face...why are you be-”

“...let’s stop this....let’s go get some dinner like you said....”

as nalae wiped away her tears

minwoo just cut her off and talked to her in a tired and cold voice

[...responsibility...

It’s becoming a bigger question everyday

If I love you

Or not

I wonder if my responsible feelings for your happiness

Is why I just can’t let you go yet....

I know I shouldn’t be thinking these thoughts

But I can’t help it...

You’re becoming a bigger burden everyday...as if I’m responsible for you....

Do I really love you?

No..

Minwoo lee...what are you thinking...

I do love nalae..

I have to...]

========================================================================

that’s all for today~..


========================================================================

I walked all the way to the end

and even when I reached the end of the rode

there was no solution

on what to do about you...

========================================================================

“...what are you doing?...”

as minju walked out of her bedroom rubbing the sleep from her eyes

she saw Hannah sitting in the living room laughing out loud to herself

and minju curiously asked Hannah what she was doing

“...what does it look like?...i’m watching tv..!...hehe...”

“...hmm...that’s weird...you didn’t even smile once you came out of the hospital...what’s so funny on tv right now that’s making you laugh?...”

“...beavis and butthead..”

“........-_-........”

[...Hannah hasn’t changed as much as I thought she did....i can’t believe she still likes watching that show..]

minju thought as she slowly walked to the restroom

**********************************************************

“...what are you doing today?...”

“...what do you mean?..”

“....today’s christmas....do you have any plans?...”

“..............................yea......”

at Hannah’s weak answer

minju, who was drying her hair, turned around and looked at Hannah

and Hannah gave her a small smile to reassure her

“...what kind of plans?...”

“.....i’m going to eat lunch with someone...”

“......with who?....”

“....somebody you don’t know...so don’t worry about it...”

Hannah answered minju’s questions in a careless way

then turned off the tv and pranced off to her room

[.....christmas

a joyous day that only happened once a year

it was the same as hell to me

after inheriting the family’s buisness from grandfather... father had always been busy on christmas days...

I used to hang on to father and beg him to stay with me and play with me during christmas

but father had always refused and threw me a lame christmas toy and had told me to play with that for christmas

mother had always loved fancy things

so on christmas eve she would always go shopping and buy unni pretty dresses and pins to dress her up in on christmas

of course there were always my dresses also

unni always played the awful violin on christmas in front of grandfather

always earning praises

and I

I was always in my room

Watching tv

They always played funny cartoons on christmas

And that was how I used to spend my christmas

I would crouch in front of the large tv

Listening to the merry laughter of my family downstairs

The memories of the previous christmas’s that I’ve spent still goes through my mind

I always hated santa clause

I always asked why he made this horrible holiday called christmas

It looks like I’m going to despise christmas this year also....]

Hannah stood in front of the closet

And looked through her wardrobe to see what she would wear

She decided on a red long sleeve shirt

Red hair

With a red shirt

It went pretty well actually

She wore denim hip hop jeans under her red shirt

Hannah stared at her reflection for a long time

“.............................”

she saw how grossly pale and fragile she looked

and one thought entered her head

[......i have to gain some weight now..........]

***********************************************************

Hannah had to think hard and search her memory in order

to find that restraunt again

the restraunt that she had went with minwoo for dinner

that restraunt was so beautiful and elegant

that it was hard to erase it from her memory

before entering the restraunt Hannah peered in and looked at the clock

which indicated it was 1 in the afternoon

[....i’m positive that it was 12 when I left the house...so that means it took me an hour to get here...

but why is it that time seemed to fly by when I came here with you?

It seemed like we had arrived within 20 minutes

Why

Did time go by so quickly when I was with you?

From all the 20 years of my life

Why

Why

Did the time with you

Have to pass by so quickly?...]

The beautiful restraunt that was made all of wood

Was decorated with christmas decorations which made the restraunt look even more warmer and cozier

And just like the last time that Hannah had been here with minwoo

The person named hyesung that was minwoo’s friend greeted her brightly

And said “welcome” in a happy tone

And Hannah could only give a weak smile in return of the bright merry one that hyesung gave her

[.....minwoo lee.....

don’t get the wrong idea

I did not come here

To this restraunt

On this hateful day

Because I missed you

I didn’t come here because I felt this restraunt was somehow connected to you

I

Just

Came

Here

Because...i like the spaghetti that you bought for me last time that we came together

.......that’s all........

that’s

all

...............]

***********************************************************

“...oppa?....are....you......mad?....”

after the small fight that they had had

minwoo had stayed in his room with a dark face

and nalae who was beginning to feel bad

cautiously opened the door and asked minwoo in a guilty voice

“..........................”

“....oppa.......are......you.....really.....mad?...”

“.......................”

minwoo just ignored nalae’s words and kept his attention on the documents that were on his desk

then nalae’s face soon became teary with guilt

“...oppa....are you mad??...you’re not mad....right??...”

“...oppa isn’t mad....so don’t worry about it and stay outside...i have some documents that I must look over...”

nalae’s eyes quickly filled with tears and looked like it would fall any second

she placed her hand on minwoo’s shoulder

minwoo felt bad and didn’t want her to cry so he meant to talk to her in a warm comforting voice

but

instead

cold icy words popped out of his mouth without meaning to

[.....dammit.......

minwoo lee....why are you changing so much now-a-days?

The nalae that you had always wanted

The nalae that you had always wanted a second chance with

The nalae you had thought was your everything

Is standing right beside you

So what’s wrong?

........What’s missing?.....]

the nightmares still pass through minwoo’s mind

the nightmares of the meeting with Hannah in the café

and

everyday

second by second

a feeling of longing

grows within him

and he cannot find a reason as to why that is.....

[....am I getting.......sick......of nalae?....

is she not the one that I had thought that she was?

Or...is it....just....some type of....phase that I’m going through?

Will it pass away soon?

Every time I look at nalae

An image of Hannah

Floats into my mind.......]


=======================================================

Guilt more than gratefulness

Sadness more than happiness

Love more than logic

If I look at the ones that come first...

Does that mean I miss you?...

=======================================================

Hannah took a seat at the table where hyesung had said

{the table that is always reserved for minwoo}

and looked through the menu deciding on what to eat

“.......pardon me....”

Hannah had been concentrating on what to order

so when she heard a soft voice from above her

she looked up with a startled look on her face

“.....??.....”

and as she looked up she saw the person named hyesung hovering above her with a pleasant smile on his face

“...you’re the person...that...minwoo got engaged to...right?...”

“.........................yea....”

Hannah had paused for a moment wondering what she should tell hyesung

but decided to just answer {yea}

“..i was right~....where’s minwoo?...”

“...he didn’t come...”

hyesung asked in a kind and soft voice

making Hannah lose the guts to tell him that she wasn’t engaged to minwoo anymore

Hannah silently promised herself to only lie for one day...and that was all

“...why???.....it’s christmas....”

“...something important came up....so we just decided to eat lunch separately...”

“...oh...i see....”

even though Hannah’s voice was shaking

hyesung believed every word that she said

and Hannah thought again how hyesung is so pure and innocent

“...your...hairstyle has changed....”

“...yea...”

[...this person is so clean and pure...that I seem double the trash that I already am...]

hyesung had sat down in front of Hannah and tried to start a conversation

but Hannah just gave him feeble answers

“...i’ll go say something to minwoo about this....i can’t believe he’s letting you eat lunch by yourself on Christmas!...”

“...no it’s okay...”

“....^^....minwoo treats you well doesn’t he?...”

“...yes he does...at first I thought he was a person made entirely of ice...but when I looked closer I saw that he was full of warmth also...”

“...............^^*.....”

at Hannah’s dull answer hyesung just flashed a bright smile

[.....god......

please forgive me

just for today

....i know I said that I was going to foget him

but please

let me think of him just once...

with this person named hyesung here

I can’t stop myself from thinking of minwoo...

And also

Forgive me

For lying......]

“...would you like to eat something?...you didn’t eat lunch yet?...come on.....i’ll buy....” –Hannah

“..no~...it’s my restraunt...i should be the one who pays....you like spaghetti right?...”

“...yes....^^....”

Hannah and hyesung shared a casual conversation

while hyesung’s cook was making Hannah’s and hyesung’s spaghetti

“....umm....”

“...???....”

Hannah opened her mouth slowly and cautiously

“...how...do you know minwoo?...”

“...we were friends ever since we were little...my father and minwoo’s father were good friends..and they had an alliance between out two companies...so we always saw each other...ah!...you know that minwoo went to high school in europe right?...well....we went to high school together...”

“....oh.....what kind of person was minwoo in high school?...”

“...in high school??...are you asking me about minwoo when he was in europe?...”

“..yea...”

Hannah suddenly wanted to know how minwoo behaved in high school...so she asked hyesung without any shyness or hestiation

“...he was kind of like a tough guy....if he was in a good mood he would come in to class...and when he was in a bad mood he would ditch...and he would also get into fights like.....every other day...”

“...haha....i can imagine him like that...”

at hyesung’s words...Hannah smiles brightly and nods her head up and down as if understanding what he was saying...

[...i’m only listening to hyesung describe you...

but I can see you

so clearly...as if your high school picture was right in front of me...]

“...there was this one time when minwoo went to the restroom to wash his hands...and this white guy came out of one of the stalls and started to cuss and yell at minwoo saying that he should go back to korea where he came from...and minwoo got so mad...that he beat him up half to death...”

“........really?...”

“...yea....and minwoo got suspended for a long time because of that incident....”

soon the spaghettin arrived

and Hannah and hyesung shared a happy time eating and talking to each other

hyesung laughed happily at the past high school memories while telling Hannah different stories

“...hmm.....anyways....miss Hannah~...what is it that you see in minwoo that you got engaged to him?...”

“....................”

hyesung asked Hannah curiously

and Hannah couldn’t help but smile bitterly and pause at her answer

then after a while....Hannah finally opened her mouth and answered hyesung

“...comfortable....i feel comfortable when I’m together with minwoo....i don’t feel anxious or stressed or worried...i feel...comfortable..when I’m with him...”

“.......ohh........”

[....i had always thought that everybody in this world...was a money freak....and was always stressed and worried....like my father.....but...minwoo was different.....

and maybe...that’s why I gave my heart to his so easily....

.....without knowing what was going to happen in the end.....]

***********************************************************

“...thank you for the spaghetti....it was delicious....^^*...”

“......come again....and with minwoo next time~....”

“.........................................okay....”

Hannah thanked hyesung brightly as she walked out of the wooden restraunt

and at Hannah’s thank you hyesung...of course....smiled back cheerfully...

“...i’m afraid I took up some of your time on christmas....”

“...haha...it’s nothing....i was supposed to stay at the restraunt today anyways...”

Hannah looked down and talked to hyesung in a sorry voice

but hyesung only reassured her and said it was okay

it made Hannah think again

of how warm and kind hyesung was

“...enjoy the rest of your christmas...~~~~....”

“....you too Hannah!....and if minwoo doesn’t treat you nicely...then come back here and tell me~...i’ll talk to him~...^^*...”

[...no...

I don’t think there will ever be another time when I will come back to visit you

I’m not going to see minwoo again either

I don’t have enough strength for that anymore

....I even wonder...

if...i will...ever see you again......hyesung....]


===================================================

everything changed

but I wonder

do I still miss the past?

I miss you so much

But I wonder

Do I still want my past love? ===================================================

after meeting Hannah yesterday

minwoo was a mess

he got into fights with nalae

he started to think stupid thoughts

and

he had begun to feel a sense of longing

“.................whew.....”

[.....i had thought that nothing would change after Hannah left........

I thought I would just live at my own pace like I’ve been doing before I met her

But

Everyday

I get a feeling that something is wrong

Something is missing

It was something that I could not explain logically

But my heart cried out...that this was not right...]

“............................”

[....and also....

thoughts that I get every second are

questions about my feelings toward nalae...’

“......oppa~~....it’s 6:00....let’s go to eat dinner~~~~~~~”

“........ok....”

[......nalae lee......

that name had always made my heart shake

that name had always made me smile

nalae lee

I’m begging you

Change me back to the way I used to be

The way I used to feel when I heard your name

Save me from this nightmare that I’m going through

Help me endure this unknown pain that I’m going through because of Hannah

If you truly are the person that I love

If you are

Then please

Give me some reassurance of that........]

***********************************************************

“...where are we going?...”

as nalae looked at the white scenery we passed

she asked minwoo where they were going curiously

“...to hyesung’s restraunt...”

“.....hyesung oppa?.......has....a restraunt?...”

“...yea...”

“....oh my gosh....hyesung oppa didn’t inherit his father’s company but instead opened a restraunt?!...”

“......yea.......”

[......the time that we had spent together at europe was as bright as a rose petal.......

I had thought that everything I wanted....everything I needed...was right there in front of me

The person I love...nalae lee...

My best friend....hyesung shin

I thought it was going to be like that forever..

But it seems

That lately....the rose petal...that had shined so brightly....was slowly dying off

I had gotten engaged to a person I didn’t know

Because of my parents

And now I am going through much pain and hardships because of her

I couldn’t visit hyesung at his restraunt anymore because of all the work I had to do at the office..

And also

My love for nalae

Is slowly starting to turn to dislike

But

...................I don’t really know why..................]


=============================================================

Someone had once told me that the end was just the beginning

if I forget you

then there will be a new love waiting for me

it won’t be the end

but

the beginning

but what is this?

I seem to be going around in circles.....

==============================================================

the restraunt was decorated according to the holiday

it was almost 7 by the time nalae and minwoo arrived to the pretty restraunt

they even saw a christmas tree decorated and inside the restraunt

as they entered the restraunt

nalae gave a small squeal as she looked around in awe

“...welcome....”-waitress

“........where is hyesung........?”

“...oh....umm.....there was an important phone call...so.....”

“....ohhh....i see....well...can you please tell him that I am here when he comes back out...?...”

minwoo felt a little disappointed as he saw that hyesung wasn’t the person who had greeted him when he entered the restraunt

he led nalae upstairs to his “always reserved” table

“....i knew ever since we were in europe that hyesung oppa had a feminine side to him....this restraunt is so pretty....”

“....this is the thing that hyesung holds most dearly......this restraunt...”

“.....^^......well....it figures....since hyesung oppa’s one dream was to own a beautiful restraunt...”

minwoo and nalae shared a comfortable conversation about hyesung as they sat and waited for hyesung

“...what do you want to eat?...”

“....anything.....i’ll have whatever you have oppa.....i’m gonna go to the restroom real quick okay?...^^..”

“....alright....”

minwoo could tell by nalae’s happy grin

that she was enjoying herself today

but minwoo was the exact opposite of her

the movie tickets that Hannah had given him kept his mind busy

and the more he thought about it the more his facial expression turned sad

when minwoo was getting ready to go out and eat with nalae

he was thinking of ripping up the movie tickets

but at the end

he had left the movie tickets on top of his desk

and left the apartment with nalae

and one part of his heart

kept longing for someone continuously

“.....ya!....minwoo lee....why are you back?...”-hyesung

hyesung looks at minwoo surprised and yells at minwoo in a loud voice

hyesung thought it weird that Hannah had come to the restraunt for lunch and they were back again for dinner....

he couldn’t really complain...because it was pretty good toward his restraunt....but still...hyesung knew something was up

“..............i came here to see you.........^^........”

minwoo smiled

but hyesung felt that minwoo’s face seemed very dark and unhappy

and

minwoo had gotten very pale and worn-out looking

since hyesung and minwoo had been friends for a long time...he knew for sure now that there was something wrong in minwoo’s life right now

“...-_-;.......where is she?....”

“........who?.......”

hyesung turned around in a full circle searching for Hannah’s bright red hair

but of course

he did not see it

“......your fiancee.......”

“................................”

at the word fiancee minwoo’s face turn depressed again

but hyesung did not see that as he continued his search for Hannah and kept talking

“...today at lunch sh-...........!!!!!...”

“..i kicked her out because of nalae...”

“.........what??!!?!!.........”

minwoo told hyesung in a sad voice

and at minwoo’s sudden words

hyesung yelled loud enough for the words to echoe throughout his restraunt...

and minwoo looked up startled at hyesung’s sudden outburst

“.................”

“................”

“..................”

hyesung’s mind was in a mess

and he tried hard to think of a logical explanation to all of this

and at the end

he only found one answer:

Hannah had lied

she came to the restraunt because she missed minwoo

hyesung’s mood changed as he remember Hannah’s bright happy laughter as he told her stories of minwoo’s past

and as hyesung stared at minwoo dumbfoundedly

he realized

that minwoo was going through a lot of pain too

because of Hannah

minwoo had told hyesung that he kicked Hannah out because of nalae with a depressed look on his face

and that meant only one thing

“....are you happy?....”

“.............??.............”

“....after kicking out your fiancee.....are you living happily with nalae?..”

[......i know you too well......

minwoo lee

you can never pretend you happy when you’re unhappy

and I knew when I first saw your face

that you were everything but happy

and that certainly means that you are not happy with nalae

minwoo lee

if you truly loved nalae right now

you would be so happy that you wouldn’t be able to contain it

but look at you

you look so depressed and forlorn

...minwoo ya....your heart for nalae....has changed....

for sure...] (...just in case you couldn’t figure it out...these are hyesung’s thoughts...)

“....what is it that you want to hear?...”-minwoo

“...don’t get me wrong...i like nalae...and I think that you and nalae make a great couple...and of course nalae is everything that you would expect her to be...happy...bright...nice...pretty...but...”

“......?.....”

[.....one thing is for sure....

as your friend

I know this

You

Need

Hannah....] (these are also hyesung’s thoughts)

“...................right now....the person that you need the most.....is not nalae.....”

“...............what do you mean?..........”

since hyesung kept beating around the bush instead of getting right to the point

minwoo raised an impatient eyebrow and looked at him

“.....minwoo lee......why don’t you get a little more honest with yourself?...when I first saw you sitting here today your face wasn’t one that was happy....and you might not want to admit it to yourself...but your heart isn’t brimming with love for nalae....”

“.......................”

hyesung knew minwoo’s feelings right on the dot

and he helped minwoo finally sort out his confused emotions one by one

“...if your heart isn’t brimming over with love for nalae...then it isn’t true love...you might want it to be...but it’s not...”

“.......................................”

if this was back in europe

and hyesung had said this minwoo

then minwoo would have gotten angry at hyesung and would have even thrown a punch at him

but today

minwoo didn’t feel angry

he just sat and listened to hyesung talk

[.....i understand what you are saying.......

things have been complicated lately because I didn’t know my feelings for nalae

but..]

“...Hannah came here today for lunch...”

“.....what????.....”

at hyesung’s words minwoo’s eyes turned round in surprise

“.......she lied and pretended that she was still together with you right now....”

“..................”

“...she asked me about you when you were in high school....so I gave her different stories...and she laughed out loud happily....and so I thought that you two must really be getting along well....but....you....”

minwoo could easily picture Hannah’s happy form

but soon his picture in his mind erased

and the image of Hannah when she had given him the movie tickets replaced it

his heart felt as if it was being hammered upon

and he didn’t know how much pain he could take

“.......................did Hannah.............look................well?............”

[........Hannah Choi........

I’m worried about you

......i’m worried if you’re doing well.......

I know I saw you yesterday

.......but.......

would it be strange

if I said that I miss you?

Would it be strange

If I said

That I care for you?........]


“...She was totally different from when I first met her...do you get what I’m saying?...she was much weaker...when I first met her she was strong..and determined...but..now..she’s fragile...and weak....i could tell from just one look at her...”

“................hyesung ah.....”

“...i can sort of understand what your feeling....you must think that nalae is more important to you right now...but that’s not true...it’s just a responsibility type of feeling that you feel right now...it’s not love...”

minwoo’s head spun in circles

as he tried to sort things out“...i...”

“....minwoo lee~...why don’t you get a little honest with yourself...what is it that you want?...what’s making you long for something and what’s making you go through all these hardships?...don’t think that you should be happy because of nalae has come to you after all this waiting...just clear your mind and think about what you truly want....not what you used to want...”

“.....................................”

“...Hannah is a good person...almost too good for you to have....when I think of Hannah’s happy face when I was telling her about your high school stories.....you...really...”

minwoo could not respond to hyesung’s angry voice

he was slowly starting to begin to understand the source of his longings

of his heartaches

of his dreams filled with images of Hannah Choi

“.........................”

“..stop lying to yourself....as your friend I always knew what you felt....and right now...it’s not love you feel towards nalae....you just want to keep her because of all the waiting that you had gone through....and you’re just trying to convince yourself that you’re happy with her...but you’re not....you’re just in denial...”

“...........................”

“.....even though I haven’t gone through must to be lecturing you about love I know this much....love isn’t something you have to analyze and figure out....it’s something you feel in your heart...and that’s all...”

“....hyesung ah.....”

hyesung pointed out minwoo’s true feelings

and minwoo had the sudden feeling of being hit hard on his head

[...i think I know now...

what’s important.....]

“...huh?...hyesung oppa!!!!....”

“...hey~~~~....nalae lee....long time no see...”

“....how have you been?....”

“....fine....have a good dinner with minwoo~...”

“...okay~...”

after greeting nalae brightly

hyesung bent down and whispered into minwoo’s ear

“....i trust you to find your way.....the minwoo lee I know never fails to get what he truly wants”

************************************************************

[....I think that I’ve been searching for answers for a long time now....

answers to why

I felt such sadness

Guilt

And yearning

Towards Hannah

I didn’t even know why

And I went through all of this pain by myself

I kept denying to myself

That the emotions I felt for Hannah was everything but love

But the more I denied it to myself

My nightmares became more frequent

And my empty heart was always in pain

But I think I know now

I think I know who I need

I think I know...who it is I love...]

“...nalae ya....”

“...hmm?...”

nalae had been chattering to minwoo while minwoo was thinking of something else

and minwoo just cut her off and called her name

“...........................it’s not working......”

“...........what’s not?............”

at minwoo’s words

nalae’s eyes turned round

and expected the worst

“.......i had thought......that......if you were just by my side.....it would all be alright.....but that’s not true....even though you were always next to me....it always felt like something was missing.....and now I know what it is that I was missing....”

“................what do you mean...........?..........oppa~.....what are you talking about????.....”

[.......i have to find what is missing........

I don’t have the strength to keep pretending that I’m happy with you when I’m not....]

“.......i always thought that what I felt for you was love......i completely ignored the pain and sadness that had always taken up my heart .....and I tried to convince myself that I was happy with you....that I loved you...”

“.....oppa.....are you talking about Hannah Choi?......are you saying that you’re gonna go to her?.....is that it?”

“...........i’m sorry..........”

[.......i.......

never had a deep and comfortable sleep after the day I kicked Hannah out

the picture of Hannah when she was crying in the elevator always filled my head

it still hurts me to remember when she threw me the knit shirt with her bloody cut up hands...

I couldn’t ever sleep because of those images

Whenever I looked at you

I always remembered Hannah

Whenever I said or did something to you

I would remember how I had done something or said something to Hannah in the past

Let’s stop this pain

I can no longer pretend that I love you

And then get annoyed or be mad at you....]

“....what am I supposed to do?.....i only like you oppa......now what am I supposed to do?....”

“......................”

tears dropped from nalae’s face

and she let down her fork to wipe them away the best she could

“.....what is it that she has that I don’t?.....what does she have more than me?!....”

“.....i’m going to go now...........i’m sorry.........”

at nalae’s questions

minwoo just stood up and ignored her

“..........i.......just want........to ask......you one thing..........is your........ love .........for Hannah........more than it was for me.....when.......... we were back in europe?..........if it is.........then...........then............i won’t try to hold you back............”

“....i’m not sure.....i don’t even know for sure if I love Hannah or not.....but.....i need her.......the girl named Hannah Choi that always picked fight with me....i need her.....i don’t think.....i can ever sleep comfortably without having her by my side........”

[.....is this......what you call.....love?......]

minwoo left nalae who was crying uncontrollably

and left the restraunt

[.....i won’t......let you go through pain and hardships by yourself anymore Hannah Choi......]

************************************************************

“.....nalae ya......”

after minwoo left the restraunt

nalae couldn’t stop her tears

and hyesung slowly walked up next to her and softly called her name

“...oppa............oppa...........minwoo oppa.........he...........he........”

“......i know.......you have to let minwoo go now.......”

“....................................”

hyesung tried to comfort nalae the best he could

and one thought entered his mind

[..minwoo lee....will finally be happy now....]


=======================================================

if the rode that leads to you

is full of stones and ditches

I will take it

I will overcome anything that get in the way

To get to you

And when I do get to you

I will never let you go

=======================================================

minwoo opened the door of the restraunt and quickly walked over to his car

he hurriedly got into the car

without even taking a second to brush off the snow that had fallen on his shoulders

his car sped out of the parking lot in a dangerous speed

when minwoo stopped in front of a red light

he got out his wallet and looked through it

[.....i have to find minju’s number.....]

:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:I know what kind of personality Hannah has..and it seems likeYou two got into a fight...well...since you two are engaged it’s notLike you guys aren’t going to avoid each other forever...i know thatHannah can be really immature sometimes even though we are fullGrown adults....

I will let Hannah stay at my home for the time being...when you wantTo talk to her call this number...it’s my phone number...:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:

the day minwoo had went to the hospital to meet Hannah

her friend named minju had given him this phone number

[...i thought that I would never have to use this...]

minwoo finally found the crumpled up paper and took it in his hand and hastily dialed the number

[...i don’t know if I love you or not...

Hannah Choi....i can’t say that the emotions that I feel for you is love

but

one thing that I’m sure of..

is that I need you

I need you to be by my side and complain about everything there is to complain about

I need you

Who is different from any other girl that I’ve known

You weren’t fake... you were true and honest

You who put a handful of jam on my face

You who loved it when we went to an amusement park

You who almost cried when I took a bite out of your ice cream

You who had the most prettiest crying face...

...I need you....]

-hello?

“...hi...this is minwoo...”

-ohh...hi~....is there something wrong?..

“...is Hannah home?”

-...no...she’s at work

“..where would that be?...”

-excuse me?...where would what be?

“...where is it that Hannah works at?...”

[.....i’m sorry that I made you go through so much pain because of me.....

I’m

Going to ask you for your forgivness

So

Just...wait....i’ll be there.......]


“............Hannah Choi!!!...”

“....huh?...ohhh...choongjae ya!!....”

choongjae came to visit Hannah at her job on christmas

“....why didn’t you pick up the phone during lunch?...”

“....oh....i went somewhere.....why?....was there something important?...”

Hannah thought of the wonderful lunch she had with hyesung and gave choongjae a small smile

“..no...has there ever been a time where I’ve called you because of something important?...”

“....haha....figures...”

choongjae started a conversation with Hannah who was sitting at the counter

and Hannah just smiled at choongjae and did not have the strength to reply back because of the hard day she had today

“.....here!....”- choongjae

“...what is it?....”

“...since...you gave me those.....those......>//////<.....boxers....i decided to give you something in return...”

“...oOoOo....thank yooooooooooooou...”

Hannah looked at the cute gloves with a little kitty hanging on it

and smiled brightly

“...since I gave you a present and all...how about you buy me dinner?....”

“...you jerk...-_-....i should have suspected something when you gave me that present...since I’m on duty right now I can’t take you anywhere...so you can have one of the cup of noodles...alllllll the way over there...”

“.........^^........”

Hannah glared at choongjae as she told him to get a cup of noodles but choongjae only gave her a pretty smile and walked over to the aisle

“...what do you want to eat?...”-choongjae

choongjae walked over to the aisle with all of the cup of noodles and yelled at Hannah asking her what she wanted...

*-tiNkLe tiNkLE

“...me?....umm...i want-............!!!!......”

Hannah stopped midsentence

because her attention was focused at the person who just entered the store

a sigh of happiness and relief could be heard as he stared at Hannah...from the silver-haired...minwoo...

it was the minwoo

Hannah been longing for

her minwoo...was finally here....


===============================================================“.......get out.........”

“......Hannah.........”

Hannah could not say anything for the first few minutes she saw minwoo

but then her eyes went cold....and her voice was just as icy as she asked minwoo to leave

and minwoo just called her name making her wounded heart shake with even more pain

“.......i.....did everything......i possibly could......for you......i liked you......and now......i’m trying to put those feelings away........i....even bought you those.....movie tickets......for you.......for nalae.......completely trampling over.....my self esteem......my father called me trash and slapped me........but I didn’t.....tell him.... the truth....just so that....your name......would stay clean.......i lied....that I left you.....just so that.....you.... wouldn’t become a bad....person....in front of other people’s eyes......but......is there something more that you need......from me?........is there something else.......you would like.....to take.....from me?.......”

“...Hannah!...listen to what I have to say.....”

Hannah’s eyes turned misty with tears

and she clutched onto the gloves that choongjae had given her and tried to hold back her tears as best as she could

and minwoo turned weak at Hannah’s painful image

“.....no.....i don’t want to trust you anymore.....i don’t even want to like you anymore....i’m going back to the way I used to be....so just leave me alone and stop giving me so much hardships...i don’t want to feel so much heartache because of you anymore.....so....just.....leave.......please.......”

“....listen to me!!!...”

“.....NO!!!.....i hate you!!....i hate what you have to say to me.......i hate how-........!!!.....”

“.....i came here to see you!!!....i came here because I missed you!!....i came here....to take you home....”

Hannah’s tears had finally fallen and she screamed at him to leave...

but minwoo just yelled at her impatiently seeing that she wouldn’t give him a chance to speak

and minwoo finally shouted at his confession to her

the confession that had made him go through so much confusion and frustration

{...i came here because I missed you.....}

“.......??????......”

at the words that flowed out of minwoo’s mouth

Hannah just stared at him dumbfoundedly

[....minwoo lee.....what are you saying to me right now?....

are you insane?....where’s your nalae?....why are you saying these things to me?.....]

“..........i don’t even know what I’m doing right now.......i left nalae.....and I came here to you not knowing why......i had thought I could just live on a peaceful life without you.....but that’s not true.....i need you...come back to the apartment....”

“......i don’t want to play around with you anymore.....don’t make me weak and fragile again.....because that’s when I hate myself the most.....”

“.................”

[......i want to believe it......

I want to believe that you really do need me

But

I’m afraid

That if I do believe you

If I do trust you

And then you end up just leaving me again

I’m afraid I’m going to get sucked up into the black hole of despair again

I don’t want to do stupid stuff anymore

I had gone through enough pain

And when I used to think that you liked me as much as I like you

And it turned out to be a misunderstanding

You don’t know how much I cried

I don’t want that to happen again.......]

“....i don’t want to believe you.....and then lose everything again....after you left me.....i tried hard to get to what I am right now....i don’t have the strength left in me anymore to try again if you end up leaving me again....so just please.......”

“.........Hannah..........”

“....leave......i think I’m going to go crazy....so just leave.......please....i’m begging you....vanish from my sight....”

Hannah asked minwoo to leave in a watery voice

and all minwoo could do was watch Hannah

[.....thank you minwoo.....

I think....i’m going to be happy for a while.....after hearing those words from your mouth

Thinking that you might need me....will help me go through the next few weeks of my life

Thank you

I will savor your words forever....]

“......................”

“..............heuk...............heuk.................”

“........................................i’ll leave........”

minwoo stared at Hannah while she cried

and finally sighed and turned to leave

and as soon as minwoo left

Hannah just slumped down next to the counter and started pouring out her tears she was holding back

“......you’re a stupid ass.....”

choongjae finally came out of the aisle where he was pretending to be interested in reading the labels of the cup ramyun

he stared at Hannah on the floor...and said a few words...

“............heuk...............”

and at the words {you’re a stupid ass.}

Hannah just started bawling like a little baby on the floor

[.......i know.........

that I’m stupid

but

but

I don’t want to be thrown away any more....]

“....i know those were the exact words that you wanted to hear.......”

“...........................”

“.....i told you.....do whatever you want to......”

Hannah suddenly remembered the words that choongjae had whispered to her ear on the day she was leaving the hospital

but she just shook her head back and forth

“...i can’t.........heuk.......not this time......i can’t do whatever I want to.......not this time.....”

“......................”

“.....he’s just going to leave me again.......and I don’t want that to happen.........i grew up being thrown away by my parents....and I just want that to stop now....”

“....it doesn’t matter......do whatever you want to do.......”

choongjae ignored what Hannah said

and said

{ it doesn’t mater........do whatever you want to do}

“......???......”

Hannah’s eyes went round at what choongjae said and she just stared at him

“....go to that guy that just left......and try to catch him......i hate it when girls cry over guys.....it’s so stupid.....so leave so that I don’t have to see or hear you cry anymore......”

“...................”

at choongjae’s words

Hannah could feel her heart shake

but

she just kept her head down

“...if you want to keep contact with me you better go catch that guy named minwoo lee...”

“.................”

“....go Hannah Choi.....”

“.................”

“....it isn’t my job..and it isn’t your job to wipe away your tears......its his......so go.....”

Hannah finally looked up from where she was

and stared at choongjae

“.....go!!....i’ll stay here for tonigh and watch the store.....”

“.......................”

“.....freakin GO!!!.....”

“.....heuk...............thanks...........thank you.....choongjae ya.....”

Hannah finally stood up and grabbed her jacked as she said thank you to choongjae and left the store

[.....thank you.....thank you.....

nobody else can understand me but you....

thank you choongjae......]

************************************************************

“...haha....is this what I was meant to do?.....”

after Hannah left choongjae sat behind the cashier and smiled brightly

and as he stared at the scars that still remained on his wrist he gave a quick smile

[....Hannah Choi.....meeting you was a miracle.......]

==========================================================================

YES!!!!!...Hannah and minwoo finally get their acts together...and oh yes!...3 more chapters left...DOBYUK PRINCESS<<74>>

========================================

Is love worth it?

========================================

“...........................whew..........”

a sigh escaped minwoo’s lips as he drove back home

minwoo had driven to Hannah’s work place as if he was half insane

but he had nothing to prove for it

minwoo’s heart just became more frustrated as he thought about Hannah’s reaction to his confession

[.....you must have been shocked....

when you heard what I said to you

....yea....i guess I understand that the pain you went through because of me won’t erase from your memory in one day

I’m going to try

I’m going to give an effort

To bring back what we had a month ago

When we could smile at each other comfortable

And argue with each other in a friendly way

I’m going to try to heal as much as I can of your broken heart

I will try

If you reject me tomorrow

Then I will go back the next day and try again

And if you reject me again

Then I will go back the next day

And the next

And the next.....]

“....haha....”

a small laughter escaped minwoo’s lips as the phrase ‘and the next’ kept repeating itself over and over in his mind

[......humans are funny creatures......

just up to a few days ago nalae was the one for me

but now

I long for you day and night

Like a rejected lover]

“.......................................”

[.....i don’t think of it as a bad thing though.....

actually....i am beginning to believe that meeting you was fate...

I just hope

That having you beside me

Is just as destined to be as our meeting was.....]

************************************************************

“...huk huk...TAXI...huk huk...”

Hannah stood outside in the snow that she hated so much trying to call a taxi

as the white snow covered her red hair and her jacket

Hannah would have dusted off the snow if she wasn’t so busy on trying to catch a taxi

she had been running for a while thinking that she could catch up with minwoo

but like a dream....minwoo just slipped through her fingers

“...TAXI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......”

although Hannah calls a taxi with all the lung power that she could muster

it seemed like the taxi drivers were at home spending christmas time with their families because not a single taxi came into her eyes

and when one did...there was already a passenger in it

“.....shit......”

Hannah couldn’t do anything to get to minwoo

except

just wait for a taxi

and cuss while at it

“....TAXI!!!!!!....aish...are the god damn taxi drivers all dead!....what the hell....”

Hannah cussed about the taxi drivers

but that didn’t change the fact that she couldn’t catch a single taxi cab

“...TAXi!!!.....eh?....no one’s in there~!!...”

and

Hannah quickly jumped into the taxi that stopped in front of her and leaned forward to the driver

“....XX apartments.... hurry PLEASE!

[.....what do I say to you first when I meet you?......]


===================================================================

when minwoo arrived home

his front door was strangely already open

and as minwoo cocked his head back and forth and looked around he saw a piece of paper on the kitchen table

and he also saw that nalae’s room...was empty

and minwoo picked up the small piece of paper on the kitchen and saw small scribbly writing that said

oppa....i wish you luck...and I hope you’re happy...^^...

it was the only trace of nalae that was left

and at the small happy face that nalae had put at the end of her note made minwoo feel her sadness overwhem him

and minwoo quietly whispered to the note in his hand

“...i’m so sorry nalae ya....”

then he put the note in his pocket and walked to the refrigerator and got out a can of beer

“.............whew.....”

minwoo realized that the room nalae was using was once Hannah’s...and Hannah’s scent was slowly drifting away....

[....i must fill that room with Hannah’s scent again......]

was all that was in minwoo’s heart and mind

***********************************************************

“...this is it...thank you!...here’s the money...you can keep the change...”

as soon as Hannah reached the apartment building in which minwoo lived in

she threw a ten dollar bill at the driver and got out of the car and started running towards the building

[......i think I can say it now.....

I think I can tell you...that after you left me...i felt as if I could kill myself

That I don’t want to leave you

And I dread that more then death......]

***********************************************************

*-bAm bAM

at the violent noises that a person made as if they were trying to break the door down

minwoo put down his beer and angrily yanked the door open

and

the

one person he saw

“...you.....know....”

“.....??....”

“........if...........you...........truly........meant.........what........you.......said.......if..........you.......did.......”

“.................”

Hannah breathed heavily and tried to get out her words as fast as she could

and

as he heard

every word that came out of Hannah’s mouth

minwoo’s face turned brighter

and brighter

“.............i’m..............thinking..............whether..........i.......should......belie-........!!....”-Hannah

as Hannah brushed her red hair nervously and tried to get out what she was trying to say

minwoo interrupted her by pulling her closer towards him and hugging her fiercely

and Hannah sighed happily as she smelled minwoo’s wonderful scent

the scent that she had been missing for the last few weeks

and as Hannah stood inside minwoo’s warm embrace

the painful days that she had gone through all disappeared as if it never happened

and tears of joy spilled out of her eyes

the tears did not know how to stop

and Hannah’s shoulders shook

it was like the day at europe when she had went to the amusement park and cried herself out

and minwoo was there to comfort her

....minwoo was here to comfort her again.....

and as his warm whispers comforted her

he wiped away her tears

because it was his job

[....thank you....]

DOBYUK PRINCESS<<76>> *JJAN!!! The End*

==========================================================

“...Hannah Choi!!!...have you seen the money that was on my desk??....”

as minwoo got read to go to work

he searched his desk for the money that was needed at work and was on his desk

“.......................nope~......”

at Hannah’s innocent voice

minwoo frowned and looked up and down around his desk for the money

“...shit...where did it go?!...”

“........how much did you lose?........”

at minwoo’s irritated voice...Hannah came out of the room still in her pajamas and stood next to him as she asked in a worried voice

“.......i think it was a 100 dollars?....”

“...hmm....then that’s not it.....”

“.......??.......”

at minwoo’s estimated answer Hannah just frowned and said {hmm...then that’s not it...}

and minwoo just looked at her with a confused expression on his face

“.....i specifically picked up 120 dollars from your desk....hmm...it’s probably not yours then...well I had to go shopping today anyways...so I’ll just go shopping with this money that I found....^_____^........”

“......hey!!!.......”

as minwoo slowly began to understand what Hannah was saying he shouted out a {hey!} and glared at her

“.......heh heh......thank you Mr. Minwoo Lee~~~~~”

Hannah stuck out her tongue and ran out of minwoo’s room just to tease him and even called him Mr. Minwoo Lee

“......hey!!!...stop right there!!1....you.....you...DOBYUK PRINCESS!!!!!!!!!!!....”

“......................say that to my face.......................”

minwoo just yelled at Hannah in an angry voice

but his face was in a happy grin as he chased after her

and at minwoo’s words

Hannah stopped running from him

and turned around to face him as if angry at what he said

“..........what?..........”

“....what kind of princess am I?....”

“...a D O B Y U K princess of course....”

“.....aish....you’re dead....why do you keep calling me that?!!!?!....”

as soon as she was done saying that Hannah took a pillow that was close to her hand and threw it at minwoo as she yelled at him in an annoyed voice

“......why don’t you call me oppa now?!?!...we’re gonna get married soon and you still don’t show me the respect that I deserve!!!...”

“...N O ! ! !.....hmm...well...if you stop calling me dobyuk princess...then maybe I’ll take under consideration of calling you oppa or not....”

“....ok ok.....haha.....Miss Hannah Choi...will you please return my money now?....”

“..........^^.......minwoo oppa!!....thank you for the money....i’ll be sure to give you the change if there is any.....”

“.......-.-........”

minwoo finally gave in but Hannah did the exact opposite

then Hannah stuck out her tongue one more time at him and started to tease him some more

finally as if minwoo grew impatient with her he began to chase her around and around the living room

a game of tag on a Sunday morning

-.-

“.....oww......”

“...hurry up and gimme my money.....and stop with this bad habit you have with your hands....”

“...-.-...no....and why don’t you let go of the hand that’s holding my wrist?...”

“....................”

at the end minwoo finally caught Hannah and held her by the wrist as he talked to her in a fake threatening voice

but Hannah wasn’t afraid of minwoo and she only yelled at him for gripping her wrist

“.....aish......you’re hurting me....let go!....let g-...”

Hannah twisted her wrist this way and that way to escape from minwoo’s bear grip

but minwoo only tightened his holding on her

then he pulled her closer to him

and covered her lips with his

it was a short time

but the feelings of his warm lips still remained even after he pulled away from her

“....gimme my money......or else...i’m not going to work....and I’m just going to stay here and give you kisses all day.......^__________^.......”

“.......-//////////-........”

“....eh?....Hannah’s face is turning red~~!!!....are you embarassed miss Hannah Choi???....”

“...shut up you jerk!!...HERE!....take it and GO!...”

Hannah threw the money that were hidding in her pajama pockets as her face turned to a bright shade of red

and Hannah spoke to minwoo as if she were mad

but minwoo just looked at her as if she was the cutest thing in the world and smiled warmly

[....i can say it now...

without question or hesitation

I can say that

Hannah Choi

I do

Love you...............]

THE END

[TF] Dobyuk Princess - Minusky

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