Texas Twister October 2009

October, 2009 Texas Twister

Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. During lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars, and see if they slow down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It “In.”

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write “ For Marijuana”

7. Finish All Your sentences with “In Accordance With The Prophecy.”

8. Don t use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is “To Go.”

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don’t Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream “I Won! I Won!”

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling “Run For Your Lives, They’re Loose!!”

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner , “Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.”

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DOCTOR’S ADVICEQ: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don’t waste on exercise. Every-thing wear out eventually. Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving faster. Want live longer? Take nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. What are these? Vegetables. So, steak nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give 100% recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take water out of fruity bit; get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made out of grain. Bottoms up! Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?A: If you have body and you have fat, ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, ratio is two to one, etc. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?A: Cannot think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No Pain...Good! Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?A: YOU NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetables be bad for you? Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only do sit-ups if want bigger stomach.

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Reprinted with permission from:


Howdy to all! Hope this finds all of the Texas Twister Fans doing great and enjoying the cooler weather, we sure are here in Pitts-burg. Only had time for 2 recipes this month, been put-ting up squash relish, thanks to my neighbor(Jean) and her recipe and pear relish. Also been making pear bread. Will have to share those with you next spring when they get ripe again. Sure hope you enjoy these two recipes.Take care now and see ya next month. Aunt Pat*********************************************Crispy Oatmeal Cookies servings: 36 Prep Time: 15 minutes Cook Time: 12 minutes Ingredients 1/3cup canola oil 3/4cup unpacked light brown sugar 3/4cup sugar 1eggs 1egg whites 1tsp vanilla extract 1 1/2cup white all purpose flour 1tsp ground cinnamon 1tsp baking soda 1 1/2cup Oats, rolled, old fashioned 1/2cup chopped pecans 1cooking spray Directions 1 Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.2 Use a large bowl, and stir together the oil, brown sug-ar, sugar, egg, egg white, and vanilla.3 In a separate small bowl, combine the flour, cinna-mon, and baking soda.4 Add the flour mixture to the sugar mixture. Add the oats and pecans, mix well.5 Coat a cookie sheet with non-stick cooking spray and drop cookie batter by rounded teaspoonfuls onto baking sheet.6 Bake for 10 to 12 minutes, or until lightly browned. Remove from oven and let cool on wax paper.Nutrition FactsMakes 36 servings Amount Per Serving Calories 92.2 Total Carbs 13.6 gSugars 7.3 gTotal Fat 3.6 gDietary Exchanges1 Fat, 1/2 Other Carbohydrate, 1/2 Starch ********************************************All American Fried Chicken Boneless chicken breast coated in pecans and lightly fried. Servings: 4 Prep Time:15 minutes Cook Time:10 minutes Ingredients 16oz boneless skinless chicken breasts, butterflied and lightly pounded (4-4 oz. pieces) 1/2cup chopped pecans, divided, 1/4 cup finely ground

and 1/4 cup coarsely ground 1eggs, beaten 4egg whites, beaten 2pinch black pepper, freshly ground, to taste 2pinch salt, to taste (optional) 2tbsp safflower oil (oil for frying) 1 Season the chicken with salt (optional) and freshly ground black pepper. Combine the eggs and egg whites in a bowl.2 Dip the chicken into the finely chopped nuts and coat.3 Next, dip the chicken into the beaten egg mixture, and then into the coarsely ground nuts, coating evenly.4 Fry the chicken on medium heat until golden brown, ap-proximately 4 minutes per side.5 When removing the chicken, handle with care, and place on a paper towel to drain excess oil.6 Season with salt (optional) and pepper to taste, and serve.Nutrition Facts Amount Per Serving Calories 338.3 Total Carbs 2.4 g Sugar 0.9 g Total Fat 20.6 g Dietary Exchanges3 1/2 Fat, 4 1/2 Very Lean Meat

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MORE DOCTOR’S ADVICE

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?A: You crazy? HELLO ... Cocoa beans! Vegetable!!! Cocoa beans best feel-good food around! Q: Is swimming good for your figure?A: If swimming good for figure, explain whales to me. Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?A: Hey! ‘Round’ is shape!


1880 - Most state laws provide for capital punishment,

usually by hanging. Unfortunately, hangmen’s igno-

rance produced horrific scenes of slow strangling deaths

and gruesome decapitations.

1881 - Dr. Albert Southwick, a dentist and former

steamboat engineer, sees elderly drunkard touch termi-

nals of electrical generator in Buffalo, New York. He is

amazed at how quickly and apparently painlessly the

man is killed and describes episode to friend State Sen-

ator David McMillan.

March 29, 1889 - William Kemler kills his lover Matil-

da (“Tille”) Ziegler with an axe in Buffalo, New York,

which was then known as :the “Electric City of the Fu-

ture.”

Spring, 1889 - Joseph Chappleau, convicted for poi-

soning neighbor’s cows, is first person sentenced to

death under Electrical Execution Law. His sentence is

commuted to life imprisonment.

May, 1989 - William Kemmler is sentenced to death.

1889 - 1890 - Westinghouse funds appeals for Kem-

mler on the grounds that electrocution is cruel and un-

usual punishment. Edison and Brown are witnesses for

the state. The appeal is denied, as are two subsequent

appeals to the U.S. Supreme Court.

1890 - Edwin R. Davis, Auburn Prison electrician, de-

signs an electric chair model which closely resembles

our modern device, as well as elaborate testing proce-

dures involving large slabs of meat.

August 6, 1890 - Kemmler is executed in the electric

chair at Auburn Prison, the first person ever to be ex-

ecuted by electrocution. The first application of current

is botched and Kemmler does not die until the current is

fired up a second time.

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Playing it SafeParents reminded of flu prevention tips

While there have been no reported cases of H1N1 Virus (Swine Flu) in Greenville ISD, the district is beginning the school year by reinforcing some time-held tips for preventing this and other, more common ill-nesses. An outbreak of swine flu last spring caused the U.S. to issue a public health emergency. While there were

no known cases in the district last year or now, the district is doing everything possible to protect the health of our students. The Hunt County Health Department remains watchful along with regional, state and national health authorities, and information is constantly being provided to local medical community partners and schools. Parents can help out in prevention efforts, too, by taking everyday steps to help prevent the spread of all flu viruses. These include:• Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze. Throw the tissue in the trash after you use it. • Wash your hands often with soap and water, es-pecially after you cough or sneeze. If soap and water are not available, alcohol-based hand cleaners are also effec-tive.• Avoid touching your eyes, nose and mouth. Germs spread this way. Teach your child to take these actions too.• Try to keep your child from having close contact (about 6 feet) with sick people, including anyone in the household who is sick.• Keep surfaces like bedside tables, surfaces in the bathroom, kitchen counters and toys for children clean by wiping them down with a household disinfectant accord-ing to directions on the product label.• Throw away tissues and other disposable items used by sick persons in your household in the trash. Symptoms of seasonal flu and novel H1N1 flu include fever, cough, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue. Some people also may have vomiting and diarrhea. Anyone experi-encing these symptoms should contact their family physi-cian/health care provider.

GHS Cheerleaders earn honors at national camp Members of Greenville High School’s Freshman, Junior Varsity and Varsity Cheerleading squads earned honors at the recent National Cheerleaders Association Camp held in Denton. All three squads earned bids to national competition, scheduled for December, and the Freshman and Varsity squads also won Performance Top Team in their divisions. The Junior Varsity squad won the NCA Spirit Award. The competition was held at the University of North Texas. Numerous team members were nominated for NCA All–American. Team members can earn nominations from ar-eas such as tumbling, jumps, motions, dancing, stunting and leadership. Scoring high enough to make the All-American squad were Lacey Tenney (freshman squad), Hannah Himes, Sarah Kym and Chandler Bigby (junior varsity squad) and Taylor Put-man, Alicia Antoine, Jessica Vowell, Lauren Shepherd, Jocelyn Hawkins, Emma Hollingsworth, Stefanie Sliger and Natalie Jenkins (varsity squad.) Monica Malone won All-American Mascot. The National Cheerleading Association serves as the sanctioning body for cheerleading.

Members of Greenville High School’s Freshman, Junior Varsity and Varsity Cheerleading squads earned honors at the recent National Cheerleaders Association Camp. Participating were, front row from left, Stefanie Sliger, Natalie Jenkins, Jessica Vow-ell, Alicia Antoine, Taylor Putman, Morgan Driggers, Nichole Draude; second row from left, Gabby Tucker, Lacey Thibault, Jocelyn Hawkins, Emma Hollingsworth, Sam Blakemore; third row from left, Chandler Bigby, Sarah Perkins, Hannah Himes, Sarah Kym, Jordan Gray; fourth row from left, Jasmine Sand-ers, Ashleigh Hall, Keri Porter, Mandy McKamie, Kaye-Lin Doty; fifth row from left, Cheyenne Little, Crystal Ramirez, Lacy Tenney, Hailee Tennant, Sara Matlack; sixth row from left, Haley Meador, Rosa Castillo, Alexandria Hall, Pamela Moore. Mascot Monica Malone is in front. Not pictured are Lauren Shepherd, Lindsey Carter and Lindsey Shepherd.

GHS Junior Attends “G.A.T.E.” Program

Lacey Thibault, a junior at Greenville High School, recently attended Texas A&M University’s G.A.T.E program in Cor-pus Christi and was also awarded a $600 stipend to selected candidates. Thibault attended the program July 12- August 1. GATE is a free three-week

summer educational pro-gram for talented high school students who are interested in teaching careers - especially in the fields of mathemat-ics and/or science at the elementary or secondary levels. Participants spent three weeks on the campus of Texas A&M University-Corpus Christi enriching their educa-tional skills, interacting with other talented teens, and learning from experienced master teachers. Students participating in GATE enrolled in a full-credit university-level teacher education course, which can give them a head start on earning college credit and preparing for the professional world. The pro-gram included field trips, films, guest speakers, mentor-ship from exceptional educators and firsthand teaching experience in “Kid’s College,” a summer program for elementary students. GATE was held on the island campus of Texas A&M University-Corpus Christi. The campus is home to state-of-the-art facilities, recreational opportunities, and a nationally-known and respected college of education.

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QISD Homecoming 2009Come One…Come All! One School…One Team – The Panthers!

Bring YOUR Lawn Chairs!!!! All Wednesday & Saturday Events are NOW FREE to Attend!!!

Wednesday, October 21, 20092nd Annual FHS Community

Bonfire and HomecomingPep-Rally! FHS Parking Lot -After Local Church Services

Friday, October 23, 2009JMECC Homecoming Parade – 9:00 AM at Lytal Field! Come celebrate with our EarlyChildhood Center!!! 2nd Annual QISD Hall

of Fame Induction Luncheon! Invitation

Only – FHS Band Hall

Friday, October 23, 2009FHS Pep-Rally – FHS Gym 2:45 PM

Pre-Game Ceremony – Lytal Field 6:45 PMFHS Panthers Vs. Rains Wildcats 7:30 PM

Former Belles Perform at half-time!!!

Saturday, October 24, 20092009 Homecoming

Parade - Parade Line Begins – 8:30 AMParade Start Time – 11:00 AMCalling All Groups, Graduating

Classes, Former Queens and Kingsand all Former Teams! FREE To Ride &

Funfor ALL! Go through Butler Dr. that leads

toCannon! Parking at Cannon and Butler

campuses! Hall of Fame Inducteeswill serveas Grand Marshals.

Parade RouteStarting at Cannon Elem, travel north on Spur 264, turnright on SH 276 through

downtown. Turn right on PicadillySt. (by QISD admin. bldg.). Turn

left on Richmond St. Turn right onClardy Dr. and back to Butler campus.

Contact [email protected] for

BBQ Cook-off and Parade forms. Contact

[email protected] to play Flag

Football or to reserve a booth for the Fall Fes-

tival. Call (903) 356-1222 or 1602 for more

information.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

1st Annual HometownBBQ Cook-Off, FHS Parking Lot!

12:00 Noon – 2:30 PM$10 Entry Fee for Each Category!

Best in BBQ Meat (any kind), Beans & Sauce! Trophies & Prizes! BBQ Plate Lunches! All Pro-

ceeds Benefit the QISD EducationFoundation! (Foundation and Museum only

groups to sell items at cook-off area before alum football game)

1st Annual Alum FlagFootball Game! 3:00 PM

Odd vs. Even years! Registration starts @ 1 pmPre Game – 2:30 - Alum T-Shirts on Sale (Spon-sored by FHS cheer) FHS Practice Field at FHS

(behind Multi-Purpose Facility)Cheer will be only group to sell drinks & more

during Alum Games at the fields.1st Annual Alum Tug of War

Games! Current and Former students band Vs. choir, basketball even vs. odd years, volleyball

vs. basketball girls, athletes vs. non athletes and more! Meet at the practice Fields behind the Multi-purpose facility at Ford High School! 1

– 2:30 PM

73rd AnnualQISD Fall Festival – 4:00 PM

FHS Parking Lot – Rent Your Booth Today! Games, food, prizes, and MUCH MORE! Raise money for your organization – Rentals are $25school groups & $35 non-school groups! Spon-sored by the Quinlan FFA. Cheer is only group

to sell cold drinks – others can sell water!

1st Annual HomecomingStreet Dance/Concert

FHS Coach Parking Lot! 6:00 PMFeaturing Quinlan Alum artists

including Nashville Singer –Tommy Joe Wilson ‘90

& QISD’s Own Derek Sneed!!!!

October, 2009 Texas TwisterTHE LEGEND OF STINGY JACK

(Or why we call them Jack O Lanterns!)

As the story goes, several centuries ago amongst the myriad of towns and villages in Ireland there lived a drunkard known as “Jack the Smith” or “Stingy Jack”. Jack was known throughout the land as a deceiver, ma-nipulator, and otherwise dreg of society. On a fateful night the Devil overheard the tale of Jack’s evil deeds and silver-tongue. Unconvinced (and envious) of the rumors, the Devil went to find out for himself whether or not Jack lived up to his vile reputation. Typical of Jack, he was drunk and wandering through the countryside at night when he came upon a body on his cobblestone path; the body with an eerie grimace on its face turned out to be the Devil. Jack in a somber mood realized this was his end, the Devil had finally come to collect his malevolent soul. Jack made a last request: he asked the Devil to let him drink ale before he departed to hell. The Devil finding no reason not to acquiesce the request took Jack to the local pub and sup-plied him with many drinks of alcoholic beverages. Upon

quenching his thirst Jack asked the Devil to pay the tab on the ale, this to the Devils surprise. Jack convinced the Devil to metamorphose into a silver coin with which to pay the bartender (impressed upon by Jack’s unyielding tactics). Shrewdly, Jack stuck the now transformed devil (coin) into his pocket, which also contained a crucifix. The Devil, unable to escape his form (bound by the cru-cifix) agreed to a demand of Jack that his soul be spared for ten years (in exchange for the Devil’s freedom). Exactly ten years senior to the date upon which Jack originally struck his deal, he found himself once again in the presence of the Devil. Same as the setting before, Jack happened upon the Devil and seemingly ac-cepted it was his time to go to Hell for good. As the Devil prepared to take him to the underworld, Jack asked if he could have one apple, with which to feed his starving belly. Foolishly the Devil once again agreed to this last request. As the Devil climbed up the branches of a nearby apple tree, Jack surrounded its base with crucifixes. The Devil, frustrated at the fact that he been entrapped again, demanded his release. As Jack did before, he demanded that his soul never be taken by the Devil into Hell, the Devil agreed and was set free. Eventually the drinking and unstable lifestyle took its toll on Jack, he died the way he had lived. As Jack’s soul prepared to enter Heaven through the gates of St. Peter he was stopped. He was told that due to the lifestyle he had led, the life full of deceit, drinking, and sinful behavior, he was not permitted entrance into Heav-en. Jack in a dreary state now went and stood before the Gates of Hades and begged for commission into under-world. The Devil, fulfilling his obligation to Jack, could not take his soul; to warn others he gave Jack an ember, marking him as a denizen of Hell. From that day on till eternity’s end, Jack is doomed to roam the world between the planes of good and evil, with only an ember inside a hollowed Turnip (Jack’s second favorite food, after ruta-bagas) to light his way. (Some countries still use turnips, but pumpkins are larger and more readily available in the U.S.) (taken from wikipedia.com)

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Thank you for the many hours that each of you devote in making Caddo Mills ISD a Great District!

CADDO MILLS SCHOOl BOARD

The Caddo Mills High School Band and Drill Team have been busy showing off their new uniforms this month. A combined Pre-Game show with Quinlan-Ford High School in honor of September 11 included the Band, Drill Team, Choir, Flag Corp, and Cheer-leaders at the September 11 football game in Quinlan. The Caddo Mills High School Band also performed at the Cotton Bowl with the Texas A&M Commerce Band for the Harvey Martin Classic. In October look for the band to perform at the Mesquite Marching Festival, the NEXTEX Marching Contest, as well as the Region 3 UIL Marching Contest.

About 150 Senior Citizens of Caddo Mills were honored Friday night, August 28, 2009 before the first home football game between the Caddo Mills Foxes and the Gunter Tigers. The evening started with a delicious meal prepared and served by the FCCLA sponsored by Mrs. Lacey Mills. Entertainment was provided by the CMHS Band, Flag Corp, Drill Team, and Cheerleaders. Each senior citizen left with a Senior Citizen Athletic Event Pass and a Caddo Mills Fox Cap. A great evening was had by all.

Photo (right):Over 50 parents, firemen, police officers, and commu-nity members attended an informative session by Car-los Cruz regarding drugs and their warning signs.

Photo (left):Middle school students all dressed up and lined up for the Middle School Dance sponsored by Middle School Student Coun-cil.

Photo (right):Over thirty students in grades 9-12 particpated in a PSAT/SAT workshop pre-sented by Knel Gandy.

Photo (left):3rd grade teachers, Principal and counselor meet with the parents’ of Griffis Elementary 3rd grad-ers.


Solution on Page 35

Homecoming Court 2009

Front Row: Left to Right- Sophomore Prin-cess - Danielle Benavidez, Junior Princess -Jayci Nelson, Freshmen Princess - Kyla Sim-mons2nd. Row: Left to Right- Queen Candidates - Amanda Boudreaux, Rheannea Howerton, Jocelynn Denham, Camille Flores3rd. Row: Left to Right- Freshman Prince - Gerard Whetstone, Sophomore Prince - Zach Posey, Junior Prince - Ryon Phillips4th. Row: Left to Right- King Candidates - Preston Corbin, Myrick Mosque, Mason Hartung, and not pictured Trey Crutch-field

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Ruth Cherry Intermediate School DedicationSeptember 13, 2009

Norris Ruth Cherry Norris Ruth Tanton was born on October 13, 1943, into a fam-ily of educators. Her father, Norris Tanton was superintendent at Com-merce ISD for 16 years and her mother, Charlean Tanton was an elemen-tary school teacher at Campbell ISD for 30 years. Ruth graduated from Commerce High School and went on to receive her Bachelor and Masters Degrees from East Texas State University in Commerce. Ruth majored in English and Business Education, earned her Masters in Elementary Educa-tion and completed post graduate studies for her Supervisor Certification. Miss Tanton, began her teaching career at Royse City ISD in 1965, where she taught high school Business, English and elementary Math for four years. Ruth left Royse City to marry Ben Cherry and taught thirteen years in various school districts as she followed her military hus-band. Mrs. Cherry returned to Royse City ISD in 1983, as our high school business teacher. Ruth was promoted to Browning Primary Principal in 1984, and then eighteen months later moved back to the high school where she served as principal until her retirement. Ruth led our high school to receive our districts first “Recognized” status rating from the Texas Educa-tion Agency. After retirement, Ruth worked for five years at Dallas ISD as a consultant to low performing secondary schools. Mama Cherry, as she was affectionately named by students, spent 19 years impacting the life of each child she taught at Royse City. Ruth loved her students, wanted them to succeed, and went the extra mile to help her students, especially those less fortunate. At the close of an-nouncements each morning, Mrs. Cherry would smile and remind her stu-dents and staff, …”remember Mrs. Cherry loves you.” After a total of 28 years in education, Ruth Cherry retired in June of 1998. We wish to thank you, Ruth Cherry, for making a difference for Royse City students and always remember Royse City ISD loves you!“Our children are a gift from God and should be cherished each and every day.”


Red Neck Bank LoanNever underestimate A Texas Redneck cowboy.

A Redneck from Sweetwater, Texas walked into a Bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Paris on an international red-neck festival for two weeks and needed to bor-row $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.

The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the redneck handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The redneck produced the title and everything checked out.

The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest.

Later, the bank’s president and its of-ficers all enjoyed a good laugh at the redneck from the south for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank’s pri-vate underground garage and parked it.

Two weeks later, the redneck returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07.

The loan officer said, ‘Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this trans-action has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found that you are a highly sophisticated investor and mul-timillionaire with real estate and financial inter-ests all over the world. Your investments include a large number of wind turbines around Sweet-water, Texas. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?

The good ‘ole Texas boy replied, ‘Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?

His name was BUBBA....

“You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without re-ceiving. The government cannot give to any-body anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any na-tion. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.”

Adrian Rogers 1931

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Buffalos of the PastThis year the Lone Oak Varsity Cheerleaders planned a retro pep rally to “Honor the Buffaloes of the Past”. The 13 cheerleaders on the squad bor-rowed cheerleader uniforms from community members (many of whom currently teach in the district) and wore them to the pep rally. The oldest uniform was owned by Sulane Norton Fannin in 1958. It is a handmade, reversable, wool uniform and was borrowed by JV Captain Haley Hinson.

Senior Marilyn Anderson is wearing Susan Gen-try’s 1984 LOHS Football Sweatheart Varsity Cheer Uniform.

LOHS cheerleaders and LOISD alumni employees.

At this year’s MTV Video Music Awards, Beyonce’ earned Best Video of the Year for her “Single Ladies” video. At a Lone Oak Pep Ral-ly, Senior Football Players Trey Malone, Trenton Overly and Travis Harvey performed their version of the “Single Ladies” video.

Lone Oak Middle School at Quitman 7th Grade won 24 – 8. Scoring for the Buffaloes were Nick Goodwin on a 30 yard touchdown run. Devin Shaw ran in the 2-pt conversion. Andrew Nichols completed a 30 yard TD pass to Jacob Lemieux. Goodwin ran in the 2-pt conversion. Nichols also completed a 26 yard TD pass to Lemieux. Nichols ran in the 2-pt conversion. Jonah Carson added an interception for the defense.Record 1-0. Next game will be Thursday in Lone Oak vs Winnsboro at 4:30.

8th Grade won 14-0 Scoring first for the Buffaloes was Ethan Fite completing a 5 yard TD pass Sawyer Zachary. The 2-pt conversion was no good. Next was a 25 yard Fite pass to Jon Moore. Moore also ran in the 2-pt conversion. Record 1-0. Next game will be Thursday in Lone Oak vs Winnsboro at 6:00.

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EVEN MORE DOCTOR’S ADVICE

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nu-trition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflict-ing nutritional studies: 1. The Japanese eat very little fatAnd suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fatAnd suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 3. The Chinese drink very little red wineAnd suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 4 The Italians drink a lot of red wineAnd suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fatsAnd suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. CONCLUSION..... Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.


WHAT DO THEODOREROOSEVELT AND FISHING

HAVE IN COMMON?

A. Fishing License.

I guess I’ve been mad that people had to buy fishing license for as long as I can remem-ber. It just didn’t make any sense to me. Driv-er’s license, sure! I get it. We have to make sure that people (as best we can) know how to drive. And, there are obvious expenses that go along with that process So, I never had a problem with paying my hard earned money for that. But, a fishing license? That was just wrong. Until now.

Apparently, Theodore Roosevelt had the forward thinking that when the population ex-ploded from 1880, 50 million people, to 1910 92 million people, our natural resources were going to take a beating if there weren’t restrictions put in place. Daily and size limits were eventually put into place and the fees we pay are for those

restrictions to be enforced, restocking, and many other services. So, the next time you grumble about hav-ing to purchase a license to fish or paying the fee, remember that fishing licenses not only help pre-serve fish populations, but better your chances of successfully landing a fish as well.Fishing Licenses A valid fishing license with a freshwater or saltwater stamp en-dorsement is required to take fish, mus-sels, clams, crayfish or other aquatic life in the public waters of Texas. A hunting license is required to take turtles and frogs.The first Saturday in June of each year is the annual Free Fishing Day and no person is required to have a fishing license or stamp endorse-ments while fishing on that day.A fishing license and stamp endorsement are not required if fishing from the bank in a state park or in

waters completely enclosed by a state park. All other fishing regulations, such as length and bag limits, remain in effect.Recreational anglers must have a Texas fish-ing license and saltwater endorsement to bring any fish taken in federal waters ashore in Texas. (from www.tpwd.state.tx.us)

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Best Comeback

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman’s credibility...

Q: ‘Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?’ A: ‘No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the of-fender, running several blocks away.’ Q: ‘Officer -- who provided this description?’ A: ‘The officer who responded to the scene.’ Q: ‘A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?’ A: ‘Yes, sir. With my life.’ Q: ‘With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?’ A: ‘Yes sir, we do!’ Q: ‘And do you have a locker in the room?’ A: ‘Yes sir, I do.’ Q: ‘And do you have a lock on your locker?’ A: ‘Yes sir.’ Q: ‘Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?’ A: ‘You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes law-yers have been known to walk through that room.’

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The of-ficer on the stand has been nominated for this year’s ‘Best Comeback’ line -- and we think he’ll win.

October, 2009 Texas TwisterUPDATE!!

CAMERA FOUND!!

If there is anybody out there who doesn’t know the tragic story of a tiny angel called home a bit too early for us. Here is a recap. This story begins almost a year ago. There was an accident on the 515 Bridge over Lake Fork between Emory and Yantis on December 15, 2008. Alanna Jisha, 14 months old, did not survive the tragedy. The car was submerged in water, and a camera was in it. This camera was very important to Alanna’s parents because it contained the pictures and videos of the last six weeks of their daughter’s life. Since the accident there have been people hand-ing out posters, volunteer search parties and a dive team devoting their time and effort to bring this camera back to her family. And, last week Texas Twister received this!

LETTER TO TEXAS TWISTER FROM RAMY JISHA. The camera was found by a fisherman in the tournament last weekend (9-19-09). His name is Leslie Wood and he lives in Kemp, Tx. Because the water was rough, and he has a small boat, he was fishing along the shore. He likes to look for “stuff” wherever he goes and is always find-ing things. He thought the bag might be someone’s fanny pack when he saw it, but realized it was a camera when

he picked it up. It was right at the edge of the water on the concrete embankment at the west end of the bridge, (about a mile from the site of the accident). He had not heard about the accident or the loss of the camera. He took everything out of the bag and laid it out to dry. Later, he stopped to visit a friend, Tom Evans, who is a fishing guide on Lake Fork. They got into a conversa-tion of, “Well, what have you found lately?” and when he told Tom about the camera, Tom realized that it could be mine. He did not know how to contact me, but a friend of his did, and she called my clinic Monday morning and gave me Tom’s name and number. I sent the SD card to a computer forensics company in Arlington, and they are working on extracting the data from the card. There was too much corrosion on the

contact points, so they have had to take the card apart. They say the inside looks good, and they give me a 75% chance of being able to get the data off. I might have an answer today, but it will probably be Monday.Thank you so much for everything you have done to help with this. We really appreciate all the effort, concern, thoughts, and prayers. When I get some pictures, I will share them.

NOTE FROM THE GANG AT TEXAS TWISTER!We also want to thank everyone involved in the search for this camera! It was all the people who pitched in with fly-ers and search parties and just talking to one another that led to its recovery. You have to think about the miracles that took place:The camera floating a mile away to land in plain site. The rough waters that day that kept Leslie Wood, a man who likes to ‘find’ things, fishing along the shore. Leslie knew nothing about the treasure he found that day. He just happened to stop by to talk to Tom Evans. And, on that day, what made Tom ask Leslie, “Well, what have you found lately?” I have to say God was handing out the miracles!

Anybody needing a guide service? Give Tom a call at Tom Evans Lake Fork Guide Service. His phone number is 903-383-3059. Just a little thank you to Tom for caring enough to get the camera back to the owners!

888-355-5263 October, 2009


WEIRD FACTS! Here are some weird facts I bet most of you don’t know! I tried to check on the validity of some of them, but most are both confirmed - and denied on the internet. There is a lot of controversy in the trivia world whether Marilyn Monroe had 6 toes on one foot or not. Really, who cares? *It is impossible to lick your elbow. *A crocodile can’t stick its tongue out. *A shrimp’s heart is in its head. *In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand. *It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky. *A pregnant goldfish is called a twit. *More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call. *Horses can’t vomit. *The “sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick” is said to be the tough est tongue twister in the English language. *If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. (If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.) *Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants. *If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citi zens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their ve hicles? *Walt Disney was afraid of mice. *Pearls melt in vinegar. *It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs. *A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why. *The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight stair cases. *Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name contains all the letters from the word “criminal.” The sec ond was William Jefferson Clinton.

As I said, Texas Twister is not stating these as facts, but we will bet there were a whole lot of you out there trying to lick your elbows!

888-355-5263 October, 2009


It’s almost fall weather again. It will be nice to have some cooler weath-er. The rains we have had are really good too. Only trouble is that the grass will really grow now. More mowing to do before that first fall frost. If you happen to have a pear tree or if a neighbor offers you pears (like Mine did!) take them and make you a pear pie. You make them just like you make a fresh apple pie. They are really good and an excellent way to use those pears! These pork chops will be really good on a cool day. Hope you tried “The Chicken Crescent Rolls”? They are not only as easy as they sound but a great treat as well.

No Fuss Pork Chops4 Boneless Pork Chops (3/4 inch thick) 2 T. Olive Oil2 T Cider Vinegar 2 Medium Onions, Chopped½ C. Pineapple juice ½ t. salt 2 T. Brown Sugar In a skillet, cook pork chops in oil until browned on both sides, about 8 minutes. Add onions and cook until the onions are tender. Combine pineapple juice, brown sugar, vinegar and salt; pour over pork chops. Cover and simmer until the pork chops are tender, about 15 more minutes. You can serve them over noodles. Makes 4 servings. Enjoy!

This is another good slaw recipe that is colorful for a fall table and deli-cious.

Apple Carrot Slaw4 C. Shredded Cabbage 2 C. Shredded Carrot1 ¾ C. Unpeeled Chopped Red Delicious Apples 2/3 C. Fat-Free Mayo 2 T. Sugar 1/3 C. White Vinegar 1 t. Celery SeedsCombine First 3 ingredients in a large bowl. Combine mayo and next 3 ingredi-ents in a small mixing bowl or measuring cup. Pour over cabbage mixture toss-ing gently to coat. Cover and chill. Serve on Cabbage leaves if desired. This is wonderful with the No Fuss Pork Chops and warm, buttered French bread. Enjoy!! Since I started this article, we have had over 8 inches of rain. Many places have had a lot more. I said the rain was good, but now a little sunshine would be great.

888-355-5263 October, 2009 Smile: Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with ‘Guess’ on it. So I said ‘Implants?’ She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go ‘skinny dipping,’ now I just ‘chunky dunk.’

Don’t argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press ‘Ctrl Alt Delete’ and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !! Why is it that our children can’t read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Wouldn’t you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?


Q. Can you tell me how the Egyptians mummified their dead and is it still possible to have this done today?Jordan C. (Royse City, Texas)A. The Ancient Egyptians mummified as a direct result of their belief that the physical body survives death and will need personal possessions in the hereafter. In order to survive the next life, they believed that they needed to adhere to the strict rules of mummification at the end of this life. The Egyptians believed that there were six important aspects that made up a human being: (1) The physical body, (2) the shadow, (3) the name, (4) the spirit, (5) the personality and (6) the immortality of the person. Each one of these elements played an important role in the well being of an individual and each was necessary to achieve rebirth into the afterlife. Mummification is a preservation process, just as embalming is but they dif-fer greatly. Some mummies are preserved wet, some are frozen and some are dried. This can be a natural process or it may be deliberately achieved. The Egyptian mum-mies were deliberately made by drying the body both inside and out. By eliminating moisture, you eliminate the source of decay. The body is dried by using a salt mixture called natron that pulls moisture from the tissues. The process itself is relatively simply though barbaric in its nature and (in my opinion) boarders on abuse to the deceased. The process began with washing the body with a solution of natron and water. In order to dry the body completely, the internal organs must be removed. The first organ removed was the brain. The brain was extracted by poking a hole in the thin bone at the top of the nostril called the ethmoid bone. A large bronze needle with a hooked end was used to perform this procedure. The brain is pulled from the nose in pieces and then palm wine and frankincense was used to flush and clean the cranial cavity. The next step was to remove the internal organs. A sharp black stone (made of black volcanic glass called obsidian) was used to cut a small incision on the left side of the abdomen. The heart, believed to hold the essence of the person was the only organ left intact. All other organs were removed and washed in frankincense, myrrh and palm wine and then dried using natron. After being individually preserved, the organs (liver, stomach, intestines and lungs) were place in special canisters called canopic jars; to be place later with the mummy at the time of entombment. After all organs with the exception of the heart were removed, the abdominal and thoracic cavi-ties were rinsed with palm wine and myrrh. The hollow body was then stuffed with small bags of the natron solu-tion to dry the corpse from the inside out. While this act technically was the end of the ‘embalming’ or ‘surgical’ procedure; the complete process was far from over. In the next issue of Ask the Director, we will continue the procedure of the full mummification and let you know if this is still practiced today. Read next month- you may be surprised by the answer. (If you have a question that you would like answered in this column, please write to ASK THE DIRECTOR c/o Ingram Funeral Home P.O. Box 2218 Quinlan, Texas 75474).

888-355-5263 October, 2009

HAVE A HEALTHY HALLOWEEN!Ginger Lane

Oops! I’m pretty sure you can’t even say those two words in the same sentence. Or, may-be you can. I can’t imagine Halloween with all that candy, but there are ‘treats’ that won’t spin your child into the worst sugar rush of the year. So, if you’re one of those moms, dads, or grandparents who recognize that the kids will be getting plenty of sweets without you contribut-ing to their loot, you may want to hand out some Halloween treats that lean toward the healthy side without compromising the spirit of the holi-day for the kids. Try some of the following: Roasted pumpkin or sunflower seeds Granola bars Raisins tie them in individual packets to save some Popcorn - pop and wrap in paper or net-ting and tie with a string If you don’t want to provide food, try giving the children some of these fun items: Halloween pens/pencils tied together with a black and/or orange ribbon Halloween stickers Coins wrapped in orange netting tied with black ribbon Hair clips or ribbons for little girls Trading cards for the boys; Spiderman Cards, Batman cards; baseball cards Stickers – All children love stickers! Coloring books or crayons Mini Books And, make sure you examine all treats. Better Safe Than Sorry!

Have aSAFE

Halloween!

Solution on Page 35


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Thanksgiving Holiday Box $36.00Available for Pre-order September 1st-October 28th!!!!This year we have an exciting menu that we think your friends and family will enjoy and will make a nice gift for anyone that you believe needs a little uplifting around the holidays. This will not affect the normal November order period. This is a special order in addition to your regular order and no Holiday Box orders will be accepted after the October 28th deadline. This Holiday Box will ONLY be shipped during the November distribution period and not beforehand. SNAP benefits cannot be accepted with this order until 35 days prior to the delivery date and cannot be accepted online.7 lb. (avg.) Perdue Roaster 2 lb. Frozen Green Beans4.5 oz. Brown Gravy Mix2.5 lb. Boneless Netted Ham1 lb. Frozen Cranberries1 Dessert Item (Pie or Cake)

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888-355-5263 October, 2009

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Sensible Observations 1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.” --Author Unknown ======================================================= 2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: “Take two aspirin” and “Keep away from children.”

--Author Unknown =========================================================== 3) “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” --Drew Carey ======================================================== 4) “The problem with the designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.”

--Jeff Foxworthy =========================================================== 5) “If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there is a man on base.”

--Dave Barry =========================================================== 6) “Relationships are hard. It’s like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks’ notice. There should be severance pay, the day before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.”

--Bob Ettinger =========================================================== 7) “My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, ‘Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.’” --Paula Poundstone

888-355-5263 October, 2009

Faith is a LifestyleBy Pastors Dean & Ruth Remmers

[email protected]

Raymond C— had made the decision. He was going to end it all. His marriage was in shambles. His job was a joke—he sold life insurance and talked about death all day. He didn’t even know what real life was all about. He had no purpose, no reason for living. He had decided to take his life. With the decision firmly planted in his heart, Raymond decided to put his affairs in order. He wanted to make sure his children would be provided for when he was gone, so he delayed his final actions for a few days… …At that very time, a group of young Bible col-lege students were in the “wrong” place at the right time. A large group of them had come to our church for a week-end of ministry. On Saturday morning, they had divided into groups and began to cover an area near the church. However, this small group ended up on the “wrong” street in a neighborhood past the specified area. Those few stu-dents found themselves in front of Raymond C’s house. Raymond and his wife listened intently to the young peo-ple’s testimonies and cried as they realized that God loved them so much that He sent His only Son to die for them. They felt God’s overwhelming love flood their spirits, and together they knelt before the Creator. “Dear Jesus, forgive me of my sins. God, I be-lieve in my heart that You raised Jesus from the dead. Je-sus, I receive You now as my LORD and as my Savior. Thank You for coming into my heart—I AM SAVED!” When they had knelt down, they were steeped in sin, their lives in shambles. Then Jesus came into their hearts and forgave them from every sin they had ever committed. They arose “new creatures in Christ Jesus” (2 Corinthians 5:17). Their faces were washed by their tears, and their hearts cleansed by the Blood of the Lamb. New life had sprung up from within them, and they were filled with joy. Their world was forever changed, and they set out to change others. Some months later, Raymond came to church weeping and very broken. That week the LORD had led him to visit in a home on the Poteet Highway. There he explained the Gospel message to a man and his wife and urged them both to surrender their hearts to God. The man clearly wasn’t interested, but his wife was ready to

accept Jesus as her LORD and Savior. Just as she was about to pray the Sinner’s Prayer, her husband stopped her—He told her he didn’t want her to have anything to do with what Raymond was preaching. As Raymond was leaving, the lady asked him to come back and talk with her again…but he never had another opportunity. Neither Raymond nor the man nor his wife knew that in a few fleeting hours the woman would be killed in a car accident near their home. Her life here had ended abruptly, and she would forever be in eternity. It would be too late for her to get saved then, too late for her husband to beg her to call on God, too late to listen to God’s warning that came through a

young Christian. Even though Raymond had gone back and led the man to the LORD, he was heartbroken because he did not know if the lady had made peace with God. He had given her the opportunity, the LORD had dealt with her heart, but she had listened to her husband instead of the heavenly Father. Raymond had to leave it all in God’s big, capable hands. After all, God is merciful. He’s not trying to keep people out of heaven; He’s try-ing to get them in! The lady had just had the Gospel message preached to her and even in the last seconds of her life, she could have called out the Name, Jesus!, and she would have stepped from this life into the everlasting arms of our Savior (Romans 10:13). Saved from sin and damnation—Saved to heaven and everlasting joy and peace. Now, Raymond’s testimony is in your hands. What will you do with Jesus? Will you accept Him as your LORD and Savior or will you put it off? The choice is yours—for now. “Choose you this day whom you will serve” (from Joshua 24:15).


A blonde meets up with a friend as she’s picking up her car from

the mechanic. “Everything ok with your car now? “”Yes, thank

goodness,” the blonde replies. “Weren’t you worried the mechanic

might try to rip you off? “”Yeah, but he didn’t. I was SO RE-

LIEVED when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!”

888-355-5263 October, 2009

A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, “Your fee is several times more per hour then we

get paid for medical care. “”Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model,

it hasn’t changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming

every month. “

AND NOW A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE!

Morris the loudmouth mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a

car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey, who was standing

off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes. Mor-

ris shouts across the garage, “Hey DeBakey! Is that you? “Come on over here a minute!”

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Morris the mechanic was

working on the car. Morris straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argu-

mentatively, “So Mr. Fancy Doctor, look at this here work. I also open hearts, take valves

out, grind ‘em, put in new parts, and when I finish this baby will purr like a kitten. So

how come you get the big bucks, when you and me is doing basically the same work?

“Dr. DeBakey leaned over and whispered to Morris the loudmouth mechanic. . . “Now

try doing it with the engine running!”

Puzzle on Page 14Puzzle on Page 29

Texas Twister October 2009

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Transcript of Texas Twister October 2009