Texas Sports Pro- December 2010

TEXAS

Austin’s Original Sports Magazine

Sports & Entertainment for the Austin Man

FREEDEC 2010

...because you'll use the bathroom at some point today.

BECOMINGCOLT McCOY

PLUS:BEARS ON TOP

JASON GARRETT STEPS UPAGGIES TURN IT AROUND

www.TexasSportsPro.com Available at all Exxon Tigermarket locations in the Greater Austin area 03TEXAS

austin’s original sports magazine

BLITZTHE

Publisher/Editor: Heath "The Kid" SamplesFor editorial comments/suggestions, email [email protected].

Contributing Writers: Lyman Surface, Corey Poche, Lee Eddins, TSP Mama, Brian Bartlett, Norm Keltner, Sean Rima, Todd Stern, Bobby Jones, Taylor Gaspar, Erin Hogan, Jonathan Welch, Bobby Kelland, Andrew J. Hewett, Sam Baiocco

Art Director: Abby [email protected]

Cover and cover story photos courtesy of The Plain Dealer.

To advertise in Texas Sports Pro, call 512.689.2717.

Volume 1, Edition 9Copyright 2010 Texas Sports Pro. All rights reserved. Texas Sports Pro is published monthly. Views expressed in Texas Sports Pro are not necessarily the opinion of Texas Sports Pro, its staff, or advertisers.

Texas Sports Pro does not knowlingly accept false or misleading editorial content or advertising, nor is Texas Sports Pro responsible for the content or claims of any advertising or editorial in this publication. No content (articles, photographs, graphics) in Texas Sports Pro may be used for reproduction without permission from the publisher. Texas Sports Pro is available free of charge.

Contact Us:Main Number 512.689.2717Fax Number 512.782.8527PO Box 2496Round Rock, TX 78680

Photo credits:pg. 3-Ryan Tannehill- Getty Images Colt McCoy- nfl.compg. 6- Jason Garrett- meonews.compg. 7- Gary Kubiak- xtrapointfootball.compg. 16- Corey Joseph and Tristan Thompson- statesman.compg. 17- Mack Brown- bleacherreport.compg. 18- Robert Griffin III- soonerfootballticket.com Tommy Tuberville- supermediablog.compg. 19- Scott Drew- barkingcarnival.fantake.compg. 20- Rodrigue Beaubois- topgelato.com Yao Ming- onemanfastbreak.compg. 21- Carl Crawford- macksmets.blogspot.com

TEXAS


the line-upThe BliTzTSP APPROVeD/TRuTh SeRumTSP mAmA/COOl V. CRAPNFl512 ROCKS- el New GOAl POSTNASCARmeN'S heAlThADVeNTuReS iN RuNNiNGCAleNDARmuSiC CAleNDARThe BeCOmiNGlONGhORNSBiG 12 FOOTBAllBiG 12 BASKeTBAllNBAGOlF/RANGeRSNOSeBleeDS

Raise your hand if, come November, you

thought that the Baylor Bears’ football squad would raise its banner

as the best college football team in Texas...

-Lyman Surface, pg. 18

IN THIS ISSUE:

At TSP, we are so proud of our star that we have hidden it in one of our ads. We are asking you to find the hidden TSP star, and you may win a prize! Not some lame crap either, like a freakin' one year subscription to Better Homes and Gardens. No, TSP cares about you, our loyal fans too much to subject you to that...That's why we will let the 20th reader who correctly identifies the ad with the TSP star pick from a list of cool prizes worth a minimum of $50 ...and if you're a TSP Player, we'll even have a a Twin Peaks girl deliver your prize personally! Visit www.texassportspro.com and identify the ad with the star to win!

Don't Hate the Player...

He’s too short. He’s not big enough. He doesn’t have a pro-style arm. He can’t make all the throws. He’s going to get killed by the Pittsburgh

Steelers. Colt McCoy has a lot of doubters in the football world. This led to the most accurate passing quarterback in college football history lasting almost three

full rounds in the 2010 National Football League draft. From Seattle to New England and everywhere in between, football scouts and personnel people looked to each other and said, “You’re telling me this 6-foot-nothing, a feather over 200-pound quarterback, has the physical tools to be a starting NFL quarterback?” But, with the 8th overall pick in the draft, Cleveland Browns president Mike Holmgren took a flier on McCoy, and it’s played out better for Cleveland anything sports-wise in almost six months (see LeBron, The Decision). McCoy has survived the onslaught of the vaunted Pittsburgh defensive front - not to mention keeping a scrappy Browns’ team respectable against the Steelers with 281 passing yards in his first action since pulling a Houdini in the BCS National Championship last January. A less-horrendous-than-expected start appeared to signal the arrival of Colt as a potential serviceable—if not above average—signal caller. The next week (McCoy’s 2nd ever NFL start) the Cleveland Browns beat down the defending champion New Orleans Saints to the tune of a 30-17 at New Orleans. While Colt himself only threw for 74 yards, he efficiently led an ineffective offense that committed zero turnovers compared to the Saints’ four giveaways. In McCoy’s 3rd NFL start, he again led a nearly mistake-free offense, going 14 of 19 for 174 yards and, most importantly, zero interceptions, as Cleveland dispatched a daunting New England Patriots team that seems a shoe-in for 10-plus wins every season. Is Colt McCoy the next coming of Peyton Manning or Tom Brady (who he has actually already beaten)? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. In spite of all those out there saying Colt lacks the physical tools to make it in the NFL, McCoy’s early success serves as a sharp reminder of how size isn’t everything. Look at the quarterback Colt beat in his first professional win, another Austin name, Drew Brees. Brees is listed as one inch shorter than McCoy officially, but that probably has more to do with Drew’s receding hairline than anything else. Brees lasted until the 2nd round of the 2001 NFL Draft because of concerns about his ability to physically cut it with the big boys of professional football. Nine short years later, Brees sits atop the football world with a fat ring on his finger proving his arrival as an NFL Super Bowl champion. It’s too early to anoint Colt the second coming of Brees, but it’s also too early to count him out completely as a viable NFL quarterback. Stay tuned to see how this reality drama plays out over the next few years… but Colt McCoy sure seems the part of a recurring character.

Lyman Surface

Meet Teresapg. 8

Leadership Change...?

With all the uncertainty surrounding the "beloved" Longhorns, maybe Mack should take a few notes from "lowly" A&M. With no doubt the toughest

schedule in the Big 12, Texas A&M made a mid-season quarterback change and have not lost since, winning four straight. Yes, Coach Sherman benched his heralded starting quarterback Jerrod Johnson (who many had predicted to be the pre-season Big 12 player of the year) after losing three straight games. Recognizing the lack of leadership, and their season on the verge of imploding, Coach Sherman went with his back up QB, Ryan Tannehill, who had only completed a total of five passes in two years. The reward has been an unheralded leader that hasn’t lost yet as the starting quarterback. In this day and age where the hype of high school athletes matches the egos that follow them, many coaches and fans need to remember that leadership doesn’t always come from the best athlete with the biggest arm. A final thought, in the words of the great John Wooden: “Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

Todd Stern

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Gift ideas for the Special Girl in Your life

The Healthy Chick- What does she see in you fat boy?

The Executive Woman- Hear Her Roar...

SUPERMOM- Show your absolute appreciation.

TRUTHSERUM

with Corey "The Truth" Poche

I Found the Solution for the Cowboys:

Jerry Jones Fires Himself!!

[email protected]

They are supposed to be “America’s Team.” They had a hole in the old stadium and

created a hole in the new one so “God could watch his favorite team.” With a retractable roof now, they should just always close it because I don’t even think God wants to watch this loose definition of a football team. Here was a team that had major success with the trio of Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith, and Michael Irvin. However, with Jason Garrett taking over the helm, we are now at six coaches over the last 14 years. So the question is: Who is at fault? If you read the title to this, then you should already know.

The last coach that had any form of General Manager power was Jimmy Johnson. Jerry hired him the same year that he took over the team from Bum Bright in 1989. In 1991, Johnson traded away Herschel Walker for five veterans and SIX draft picks. Within that draft, he took six players that would be starters on the 1993 Super Bowl Champions squad. He then proceeded to add three more starters to that team in the 1992 draft. Even more, he took Jimmy Smith in that 1992 draft, who later on became one of the better receivers in the 90s.

Jerry proceeded to let Jimmy go after the 2nd Championship in a row in 1993. Right there was the end of the Cowboys franchise; it just took a couple years to notice it. From then on out, Jerry named himself general manager, and hired puppets to run his team. The most ridiculous thing about Jerry’s confused state? He hired all of Phillips’ assistants before he hired Phillips. When he comes down to the sidelines, does he really think that it motivates the team or something? Hey Jerry, these players don’t give a crap about you; they just want you to keep signing their paychecks. All you have is a lot of money and you think that can just buy your championships like the Yankees do it. I don’t know if all the Botox has gotten to your head or something, but here’s some advice to help you out:

1. Quit acting like you’re knowledgeable about football.

2. Keep signing those paychecks and just stay up in your luxury suite.

3. Close the roof all the way, every game. Trust me, God doesn’t want to watch what happens on that field. Just follow those steps and success should follow. If that doesn’t work, let me and Heath take over the team. You should see the work that we do in Madden.

VS.Christmas Family Dinner

Serving at a homeless shelterHaving the family over for Christmas Dinner is always fun…well, at least it is a time

to visit with your family…Okay, so it is a necessary evil right? Your grandmother is there to tell you how fat you’re looking and how your belly looks like you just swallowed two of your three children. The sister you cannot stand is there to tell you for the thousandth time about little Timmy, who is in Kindergarten, and his award winning science project that proved Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, all while your little Johnny just took a piss in the Lowe’s display toilets yesterday…and he is in the second grade! Your wife is all frazzled because she has been preparing her house for weeks to impress the family. Arrrrgh! Okay, so this year, why don’t you forgo the Christmas Dinner to go to the local shelter and serve those less fortunate than you are? I assure you that you will be forever changed by this experience. And, it will give you an excuse to leave early from whatever Christmas Dinner you are attending with the relatives you don’t really want to be hanging out with anyway! Serving those less fortunate than you takes the cool spot this month!

Hello there boys…and I presume some girls. What a great fall we have been having. The weather has been

pleasant, making the outdoors just lovely to be enjoyed! In December there is so much going on! This is when the Christmas parties start happening, the eggnog, the mistletoe…hmmm, maybe I’ll see some of you handsome young men out and about sometime this month; and since in December I carry around mistletoe in my dentures case, I’ll be sure to get me a kiss when I see you.

Wondering what to do this month? Let Mama help you out. The First Thursday on Congress comes to mind; a place to see and be seen. Outdoor booths, wine, beer, refreshments, and stores open late, make for one big ol’ Christmas block party! And yeah, there are plenty of hot young chicks to look at, but Mama better not see you being disrespectful to one of them…or I’ll put you in a headlock.

Want to see some Christmas lights too? Then maybe you

should check out the lights on 37th Street, just north of the UT campus. Think about what it would be like if Clark W. Griswald bought an entire block in Austin, and you’ll have a mental picture of what to expect. Mama says, park somewhere close to the Starbucks on 38th and buy you and your lady a Venti-Peppermint Mocha and take a stroll down 37th street.

Don’t forget that Christmas is the season for giving and there is a greater reason for this season! Find a way to give this season to someone less fortunate than yourself. Have fun boys…see you next year.

TSP Mama will gladly give you advice on anything, from what kind of oil to fill your car with to what to buy your girlfried or secretary. Submit your questions to [email protected].

Don't Forget!

First Thursday on Congress

37th St. Lights

Buy your girl a present from TSP Approved

Do something for someone less fortunate

Love, Mama

www.TexasSportsPro.com 05TEXAS




As the sun began its descent on the 2010 season for the Dallas Cowboys,

at the halfway mark, reflection was difficult as the team stood 1-7. This wasn’t a beautiful sunset like one would see at the Oasis, surrounded by family or friends and good memories. Rather it was like one that you might see looking out of your hospital room window as you struggle with the fact that you’ll be in traction for awhile. Your girlfriend comes by holding the hand of your former best friend, giddily announcing their engagement, while breaking it to you that your dog died last week…. Ok, maybe not THAT bad, this Cowboys season. As with failed relationships, time gives you strength and you get up again, boldly determined to turn misery into triumph, you’re back on the scene, you get in shape, refocus, and life begins to have hope! For a pitiful NFL team, hope comes in the form of a great pick in next year’s draft. Barring a miraculous turnaround, the Dallas Cowboys should be drafting in the top 10, perhaps top 5 of April’s NFL Draft. Failure’s great dividend may have the Cowboys choosing from athletes like RB Mark Ingram from Alabama, OLs Anthony Castonzo (Boston College) or Derek Sherrod (Mississippi State), CB Prince Amukamara of Nebraska, LB Bruce Carter at North Carolina, solidifying a ‘need’ position with a potential Pro Bowler. Early in the second round, perhaps you’ll find a suitable replacement for Tony Romo, someone like Jake Locker from Washington, Andrew Luck of Stanford, even Ryan Mallett at Arkansas… or Cam Newton, perhaps, if Jerry’s got a duffel bag full of cash for him. What made the Cowboys the team of the 90s was partly their success in the early rounds of the draft, where they stocked up on the talent that carried them to the three Super Bowl titles. They got Troy Aikman in 1989 because they were dreadful in the prior year and picked early.

The recent Dallas teams have been incredibly frustrating, they have no playoff success to speak of, yet have drafted in the middle or back of each round. Another beautiful byproduct of a dreadful team performance is a much easier schedule in the following season. The NFL does their best to make teams competitive, giving the worst teams the chance to play equally bad teams in the following year. The 2010 schedule finds last year’s Super Bowl teams - Saints and Colts - as opponents. 2011 could bring this year’s duds like the Bills and/or 49ers. The Cowboys have not only these things to look forward to in 2011, but the blissful fact that the Wade Phillips era is over. New coach, great draft pick, easy schedule, and some good players at key positions on the roster going forward. Next year looks great (if there is an NFL next year, that is—hello collective bargaining)! The only thing that can mess this up is if Jason Garrett starts winning games and this team ends up 8-8, usual consequences—mid-round picks, average difficulty schedule, no playoffs. Jason, go back and watch the 14th round of Rocky. Mickey begs Rocky to stay down. He gets up, fights valiantly, loses with dignity, but still loses, adding an additional round of pummeling. We’ve earned the benefits of a despicable season beginning. We’ve accepted it, haven’t we? Jason, stay down!!!

Brian Bartlett

DALLASCOWBOYS

Will the Saints go marching in? That is the question. Last year the Saints

blew everyone away with their Super Bowl win. I remember talking with Justin, an old friend and former colleague of this here venture called Texas Sports Pro, about who was the better quarterback, Manning or Brees. I assume a lot of people would agree with Justin who said that because of Manning’s acute ability to read a defensive line resulting in changed plays at the line of scrimmage, in his opinion, Manning was the better quarterback.

So my question and analysis was simple. What ultimately gives you a “W” at the end of a game? Is it the accuracy of the dead-on balls reading of a defense, or accuracy in being able to make plays and follow through, with dead-on balls accuracy? Anyone who knows me would say that I am not a sports fanatic, nor do I profess to be one. I do know one thing, though. The “W” is what it is all about at the end of the day.

I was surprised to see that after my conversation with Justin (who is absolutely the most knowledgeable person I have ever met in regards to sports) that in the Super Bowl, it was those two quarterbacks we were comparing and disagreeing on, regarding who was the best QB in the National Football League. Time will ultimately tell who ends up with the most “W’s”. I was happy to see the Saints come away with a victory that evening. I usually like to root for the underdog, and after Dungy’s comments that (in a nutshell) the Colts would walk all over the Saints, I was happy to see them win.

Who knows what the Saints will do this year? Or who will ultimately be right about these two quarterbacks years down the road when we can look back and compare both after their carrers are over? But that’s alright with me, because I am still grinning from the “W” we got last year and hoping those Saints of mine do it again. I hope to hear the sweet music from the angels in the city as they go marching in…oh yeah, did I mention the Saints are my team? In your face Dungy! Booya!

Lee Eddins

Don't Spoil My Misery, Jason Garrett

Will the Saints Go Marching Again?



HOUSTONTEXANS

When Kubiak inherited the Houston Texans, the team had only been

around for four years, where it just sputtered around with no progress under Dom Capers. Since Kubiak has arrived, all three of his full years in Houston have been better than Capers’ best. He is a coach that is loved by his players, highly appreciated by the Texans Front Office, and a person you can’t help but cheer for.

Gary Kubiak didn’t have much time to get comfortable in his office before he was given his first tough decision: Mario Williams or Reggie Bush? The general consensus was that Bush was going to be the 1st pick, and that his speed and athleticism was too good to pass up. Gary was thinking differently though, and took Mario with that 1st overall pick. While Bush has suffered through numerous injury-riddled seasons, Mario Williams has become one of the best defensive ends in the NFL. He wasn’t done there, as he drafted middle linebacker DeMeco Ryans in the second round. All that he has become is the captain and the leader on the defensive front. He traded for Atlanta Falcons back-up quarterback Matt Schaub the next year, giving wide receiver Andre Johnson a quarterback to throw to him.

Before Texas A&M went and hired Mike Sherman, the Aggies were looking into Gary Kubiak, and before the Aggies could try their hardest to hire him, Kubiak shooed them away. He has the job that he’s always wanted, and his team gives him that resounding endorsement that coaches look for in their line of duty. “I’d take a bullet for him,” Joel Dreessen said. “And I mean that. He’s a great man to play for, a fair man.” There are coaches that are generally hard-asses that players enjoy winning, but they fail to receive that connection between the coach and themselves. “It’s his respect for the players, his respect for the game, his respect for his coaches,” safety Bernard Pollard said. “You want to play for a guy like that.” Even the owner of the Texans, Bob McNair, has given his encouragement to Kubiak, signing him to a contract extension through the 2012 year.

Even with the love that Kubiak has received from his peers, there is still a good bit of work left on this team. The Texans got lucky and found a diamond in the rough at running back with Arian Foster. He has continuously exceeded expectations and now has a spot that Steve Slaton once thought was his for good. Andre Johnson is an amazing receiver, possibly the best in the game currently, but he needs others to take the attention off of him. Kevin Walter is there, but he won’t be around for too long. They also need some help along the defensive line to give Williams a lot less double teams. Finally, the secondary is a patchwork quilt that just isn’t coming together well.

With all that said, the Texan faithful could care less about those needs right now. It usually takes a much longer time for an expansion team to rise to relevance in the NFL. With Kubiak at the helm, this team has been rising fast, missing the playoffs last year on a tiebreaker. When that extension runs up in 2012, you better believe that a new contract will be heading to the coach whom has put the Texans on the map.

Corey Poche

For Kubiak, It Could Be Worse



512-ROCKS

There’s a place in Round Rock that has been around since the 80’s where the beer is cold,

the staff is friendly, and you can catch your favorite Cowboys or Longhorn Football game on television. El New Goal Post on Mays St. is a Round Rock icon and since 2003, when the new owner Sergio Sanchez took it over, it took on an attitude all its own.

Does El New Goal Post have a specialty? According to Sergio, the Goal Post endearingly termed by many locals is just one of the few truly “tejanos” bars around. They don’t have all the fancy stuff, like the internet juke boxes…nope, the music they play is too hard to find and well, that’s just the way they like it.

El New serves food most weekends on their back patio, but the one thing you won’t do is pay for it. They offer free food for their patrons when they serve it. What would you expect from a Hole in the Wall where that family attitude is plentiful and 90% of their business comes from regular customers. I guess that hard to find music keeps em’ coming back for more free food and the coldest drinks in town. In fact, they have a specialty drink called the "Goal Post Tea." “It’s a four liquor concoction. We serve it in a frozen patron bottle...it tastes just like Kool-Aid!!! After you’re done, you get to keep the bottle…it makes a cool piggy-bank,” Sergio tells us. We promise we did not drink two, I mean one; I mean it sure would be unprofessional to drink a Goal Post Tea while “working.”

So I was curious to know how Sergio got into the bar business anyhow. It started when he was up and coming in the semi-conductor business. He had moved up the ranks at the company he was with, and his dad just happened to work with him and had been working with him in the sheet metal business since he was 16. After moving up the ranks to manager of the company, he was commissioned to lay off his own father! “That’s when I decided to pursue something

else. I wasn’t quite sure what, but Goal Post came up for sale and I said ‘what the heck’ and jumped right in!” He told me it has been great and he gets to meet a lot of people from many walks of life.

I wanted to know why I should visit this bar; and furthermore, why should I tell all of you, my adoring fans…eerrr readers, that they should give the Goal Post a try. I’ll let Sergio tell you on his own words. “You know, every bar claims to have the friendliest staff and the nicest looking bartenders, so I can’t say that. I won’t bore you with the typical answer, but what I can say is that our staff is simply the best . We truly take care of our customers! We have an awesome patio, plenty of

parking and one thing I guarantee is the very cheapest drinks! We have pool tables, plenty of seating, flat-screens everywhere, good music, and we keep our place clean.”

Well, that’s enough for me…and the Goal Post Tea really does taste like Kool-Aid….”Sshhh, don’t tell my boss.”

Lee Eddins

ESPN Game DayHorns v. UCLA

Twin PeaksCalendar Signing

Owner Sergio Sanchez





Meet TeresaHow long have you been a Capital City Dancer?

Do you have any hobbies?

How do you like spending money?

What is your favorite restaurant?

What is your favorite part about being a Capital City Dancer?

They say you end up being like your parents, right? Well, that might not

be the case for all of you, but there are parts of our lives that we have to give credit where credit is due. For us guys, think back to when you were a child and you were sitting in front of the “boob tube”(as my dad called it) watching sports. Most of you probably recall football, baseball, or golf. For me, it was auto racing. That’s right, my dad made me watch NASCAR, FORMULA 1 AND INDY CAR RACING as a kid. But he didn’t have to force me because I thought cars were cool, and the wrecks were even better!

Fast forward about 20 years to 2006, or my first trip to Texas Motor Speedway in Ft. Worth, TX. I wasn’t sure what to expect. It was a beautiful April afternoon and I had come across some tickets to the Samsung 500. I invited one of my best friends, Cody, and we traveled out to TMS “just for the hell of it.” You talk about hooked! Nothing can describe the experience of your first race. Your five senses are put to the extreme test, with the smell of Sonoco racing fuel, the sound of 43 engines roaring down the backstretch, the rubber from the tires flying into the grandstands and hitting you in the face, the sight of a B-52 Bomber performing the flyover before the race,

and best of all…….the cold ass beer being consumed from your own cooler. Oh yeah, it’s the only sport that lets you bring your own beer!!!!

I haven’t missed a race since. In fact, I now enjoy them with about 20 of my good buddies. We all share an infield spot and watch the race from atop a school bus sporting our favorite driver’s colors. That’s right; you need to have “a driver.” Once inside the speedway, you will notice that everyone

has one and if you don’t, well… you are alone. Choosing one takes time and it can come down to a driver’s personality, his sponsors, or just the fact that he goes fast.

Founded in 1948 by a bunch of ex-moonshiners in North Carolina, NASCAR has arguably become one of the most popular sports in America. I urge every one of you out there that have yet to see a race live in person to do so before it’s too late. Perhaps it was the years of watching it on TV as a kid that led me here, or maybe, just maybe, it was the simplicity of turning left and hauling ass with a beer in my hand that kept me coming back. Either way - get out there and watch a race; that’s what good ‘ole boys do.

Sam Baiocco

Fast Cars and Cold BeerA Family Tradition



Obesity goes by a lot of names, to wit: big-boned, chubby, chunky, corpulent,

full-figured, heavy, hefty, husky, mature, overweight, plump, portly, pudgy, stout, thick, or as we sometimes say in our heads, just plain fat. Furthermore, we are using these terms more and more with cause. Let me illustrate with a simple trip to pick up a prescription.

Last week, while waiting for a prescription at Walgreen’s I sat trying to think of a topic for the Men’s Health column. I was sitting in an end chair in a seating arrangement where three chairs (each with armrests) were connected, when a woman sat down on the opposite end and literally jarred me as she rocked the entire platform. I looked over briefly to see a 50ish woman, about 5’2”, who weighed about 250 lbs. The eyes quickly adverted back to the floor as I studied the tile pattern much more closely. That mesmerizing image was soon disrupted by a man, about 5’7” who must have weighed about 270 lbs. He had a shopping cart and was so tired from walking around the store that he needed to lean over it for support. He held his pose over the cart for about 10 minutes - then eyeing the middle seat still empty -plopped into it.

Lastly, a huge woman came in for a prescription. As large as the other two people were, they paled in comparison. I was in a dilemma. I would have been glad to have given her my seat - I was raised better than to sit down when there were no chairs left for a woman who was standing. On the other hand, there was no way on earth that this woman could fit into the chair in which I was sitting. My dilemma: If I offer the chair it will embarrass her if she tries to sit down. If I don’t offer the chair it will seem that I am being ungentlemanly or worse, knowing she won’t fit. What to do? I offered her my seat. Thankfully, she declined, stating that she was not waiting for the prescription and had other errands to do in the store.

At this point, having gone 3 for 3, I started looking everyone in the store. My unscientific survey revealed that over half of the people in the store were overweight, if not obese, supporting national statistics. I then looked down at my pot belly and thought ‘maybe there is something to this so-called obesity epidemic.’ Well, of course there is!

There is probably no way to soft peddle the above. Obesity is real and these comments are candid and a tad judgmental. We are in

a battle - the battle of the bulge as some have said- and we are losing. The rest of the article will briefly answer a few questions, highlight stats, and point at complications of being too fat. It will be brief because you have already heard it all before.

What is the difference between being obese and being overweight? Obesity is defined as a Body Mass Index (BMI) of over 30 while a BMI of 25-30 is considered being overweight.

Well then, what is a BMI? The BMI is a standardized way of looking at the obesity issue. You can calculate your own BMI by dividing your weight in pounds by your height in inches squared. Then multiply by 703. For instance, I am 179 pounds and stand an intimidating 5’9” (69 inches) OR 179/4761 x 703. By BMI is 26.4. I am a little overweight with much of that extra weight being contained in the aforementioned pot belly. The BMI system is not perfect but it is helpful and revealing, nonetheless.

What causes obesity? Taking in more calories than you are burning.

What are the national statistics on obesity? There are many statistics and not enough space here to list them. A few highlights; however, might be interesting. The most obese state is Mississippi with over 34% of its adults meeting the criteria for obesity. Colorado is the least obese state. Texas is in the top third for obesity.

What are the medical effects of obesity? Obesity increases the risk for many health problems including type 2 diabetes mellitus, coronary artery disease, high blood pressure, and stroke. There are more, but this gives you a good idea of what the consequences are. Please note that I have not even touched upon the effects of what being too big to fit into a chair in the Walgreen’s waiting area does to your self-esteem. Without wanting to overstate the obvious, it is reported that many obese people are depressed or anxious, or both.

How can I lose weight? Just like packing a moving van or cooking on a grill, every man I have met has the answer for this question. There are a lot of programs and most will probably work. They typically involve eating less and exercising more.

Letters to Dear Norm:

Dear Norm,I am a 25 year old vivacious young woman and I am obese by your definition. However, I have very intricate fingernail polish, have my hair done up in a simply fabulous way, have really cute tattoos that seem to scream “I am woman hear me roar,” and have an expensive lip ring that lets people know I am an independent thinker. Don’t you think these compensate for me being a tad overweight?

Signed… A Hottie that Likes to Eat.

Dear Hottie: NO.

Dear Norm,Give me a break. Eating is about the only thing I really enjoy in life. Would you deny me that pleasure?

Signed… Fat, but Happy.

Dear Happy:I get it. It’s a trade-off. Eating is fun. I love Cokes and have tried to quit a hundred times. Every time I get back on them, my belly gets bigger. When my belly gets big, I stop them for a while. Then I order something to eat that seems tasteless without a Coke (e.g. pizza). I’m back. It is a battle for many of us. Unfortunately, the gain to be had is down the road while the temptation is in front of us now. Wait….are we still talking about food?

For more information: http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/GettingHealthy/WeightManagement/ Obesity/Obesity-Information_UCM_ 307908_ Article.jsp

Norm KeltnerNursing Instructor,

University of Alabama at Birmingham

MEN'S HEALTH



Antelope don’t get shin splints. Wolves don’t ice pack their knees. I doubt that 80% of all wild mustangs are annually

disabled with impact injuries. -- Chris McDougall (Born To Run)

Since I left you last, I’ve had my nose to the grindstone embracing a slew of

all new daily aches and pains in my body. With a new workout schedule that consists of Tuesday/Thursday beach volleyball technique and plyometric workouts, Wednesday sand-yoga and sand-sprints, and a Friday grass or pavement run, new body awareness has begun to develop within me, and has added complexity to this journey as the weeks pass. TUESDAY NOVEMBER 2ND, 2010My roommate Micah Davidson (a new team member at Whole Foods, 5th St.) and I decided to use taking a movie back as an excuse to strap on the running shoes (I’m in new Saucony Vitaras, thin-soled training flats) and tackle a 6.2 mile round trip run to Guadalupe’s I Heart Video from our respectfully quaint Enfield apartment. As we crossed the Enfield bridge just before hitting West St, my legs were having an exceptionally hard time falling in to a rhythmic stride. As my mind worked feverishly to evaluate the amount of energy my body would require to complete this journey (which was already beginning to intimidate me), my legs were busying themselves experimenting with various foot falls and ground striking techniques to help alleviate the bullying pain now shooting up through my hips from my heels and the balls of my feet. As I tried to regulate my breathing and remove myself from the mental hurricane that was a-brewin’, I passed 24th street and (literally) almost kicked my shoes off and left them on the corner to try my hand at barefoot distance running. For someone far braver than I, embracing the anxiety and enigmatic pain of distance pavement running might eventually fade into a blissful splendor. As for me, I’m about ready to strap on a [Tarahumaran] leather running moccasin and go for broke. Over the course of the entire run, I felt as though my shoes were somehow working

against me. I felt unconfident in my gate and, with each ground strike feeling like a manual transmission muscle car, there was one thought that kept repeating in my head….”I can’t wait to run barefoot again.” WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 10TH, 2010We begin each Dynamic Sand Training™ workout with a 10 minute warm-up consisting of:1. Light warm-up run2. Plyometrics (90 degree lunges, A-skips, single leg bounds, straight leg bounds, etc.)

3. 5 minutes of Yoga Sun SalutationsAfter that, we dive into a mid-distance sprint workout which accommodates our runners who log 4 to 10 miles a week on the trails. This workout is designed to push the runner’s endurance and build posture strength.1. 8 x 300m sand sprints (Zilker Park’s beach volleyball courts offers 100yd straightaways)2. Attention to chest out posture with elbows coming in close to the sides and hips rotated forwards. The feeling should be one of “falling forward” with the toes and ball of foot striking the ground.3. Abs after each 300m run: 20 toe touches. 20 left elbow to right knee. 20 right elbow to left knee.4. 600m grass run directly after the last set of Abs Going into my last straightaway, I remembered back to my track coach, Coach G at Southwest Texas State, yelling, “Eyes up! Look to the horizon! Don’t look down!”

As my feet struck the sand, I felt buoyant, as if my feet were only catching sand for just long enough to pull my hips through - firing me off into the next step. No pain, no confusion, simply running. The 600m grass run, I must admit, was Micah’s idea. I thought I was done. I thought, “To that tree and back is 600 meters. I’m gonna pass out at 450; yep, 450.” But as we broke out of a trot and into a gallop, the grass stretched out in front of me like a sea of emeralds beneath my feet. My toes struck the pillowy surface of the ground with a sure-footedness that regular guys like me just never get to experience. My head slid back onto the platter of my neck and as my chest expanded, my hips rotated forward giving me the feeling like I was falling into each step with the greatest of ease; my legs merely rotating beneath me. TUESDAY NOVEMBER 16TH, 2010It has been almost a week since the last sand workout and I feel a strength and youthfulness in my legs that has been absent in my body since my late 20’s. Each step up and down the stairs feels, somehow, lighter and easier. I keep catching myself stretching at the most inopportune times (in line at Randall’s with strangers behind me) but I’m able to articulate my body now in ways that I’ve never been able to. My “regularity” has also been more in check for a few weeks now (too much information, I know) which has kept me happier and more sensible about what I eat. As the Turkey Trot approaches, along with tons of other “mudders,” extremes, races for cures, bi’s, tri’s and Olympic tri's coming this spring, I am wondering “How deep does the rabbit hole go?” and exactly how much do I have to “bite off,” before it officially becomes “more than I can chew.” I’m in love with running now and I have to figure out a way to find a great shoe that simulates what I feel on the grass and sand. By the way, if you ever get an opportunity to head down to Zilker Park to the volleyball courts, chuck the expensive running shoes and try running your distance workout in the sand. You’ll thank me, I promise.

Bobby JonesProject Serve Volleyball

Adventures in Running



5

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MONDAY WEDNESDAY 6 7

14

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27 28

TUESDAYSUNDAY

7:30pmvs.

3:15pm, FOX @

127:20pm, NBC

vs.

7pmvs.

12pm, FOX 6:30pm, FSSW @

6pm, KTXA

@ @

137:30pm, ESPN

@

7:30pm, FSSWvs.

6pm, FSSW7pm, FSSW

7:30pm, FSSWvs.

TWIN PEAKS- ROUND ROCK100 Louis Henna Blvd.Round Rock, TX 78664

512.238.7325

DECEMBERSports Calendar

vs.7:30pm

7:30pm, FSSWvs.

vs.

vs.6pm

vs. @

7:30pm

vs.

7:30pm, FSSWvs.

7:30pmvs.

7:30pm, FSSWvs.

7pm

vs.

Mavs vs. Minnesota, 7:30pm FSSW Spurs @ LA Clippers, 9:30pm FSSW

Spurs vs. Golden State, 7:30pm FSSW Aggie Hoops vs. PRAIRIE VIEW A&M, 7pm

2:30pm, FSSWvs.

Rockets @ Oklahoma City, 7pmMavs vs. Portland, 8:30pm FSSW Baylor Hoops vs. Bethune-Cookman 7pm

Texans @ Tennessee, 12pm CBSRockets @ Sacramento, 5 pm

Rockets @ Golden State, 9:30 pm Spurs vs. Phoenix, 7:30pm FSS

Rockets @ L.A. Clippers, 9:30 p.m.Spurs vs. Denver, 7:30pm FSSWTech Hoops vs. UT Arlington 7pmBaylor Hoops vs. San Diego, 4pm

Tech Hoops vs. New Mexico, 7pmAlamo BowlTexas Bowl

3:05pm, CBS @

Toros-7:30Cedar Park Center


6pm, FSSWvs.


4

1817

24 25

WEDNESDAY

1

8

15 16

22 23

FRIDAY SATURDAY

29 30

BuffaLO WINGsComes with your choice of

signature sauce:

-Red Hot-Habanero

-Green Chili Parmesan-BBQ

THURSDAY

8:30pm, FSSW Sun Bowl

7:30pmvs.

7pm

97:30pm, FSSW

vs.

7pm

Christmas Day

6:30pm, NFLN

TWIN PEAKS- SOUTH AUSTIN701 E. Stassney

Austin, TX 78745512.383.9699

107:30pm @

7:30pm, FSSWvs.

113:30pm

vs.

7:30pm, FSSWvs.

9:30pm @ 8:30pm, KTXA

vs.

7:30pm

vs.3pm

vs.

6pm

@ @

7:30pm

vs. @

327:20pm, NFLN

@

9:30pm, FSSW @

6pm

vs. @

7pm

vs.

Mavs vs. Minnesota, 7:30pm FSSW Spurs @ LA Clippers, 9:30pm FSSW

Rockets @ Memphis, 7:00 pmSpurs vs. Minnesota, 7:30pm FSSW

Mavs @ Sacramento, 9:00pm FSSW Aggie Hoops vs. PACIFIC, 7:00pm

Spurs vs. Golden State, 7:30pm FSSW Aggie Hoops vs. PRAIRIE VIEW A&M, 7pm

Rockets vs. Cleveland, 7:30 p.m.Mavs vs. New Jersey, 7:30pm FSSW UT Hoops vs. Texas State, 3pm

Rockets @ Oklahoma City, 7pmMavs vs. Portland, 8:30pm FSSW Baylor Hoops vs. Bethune-Cookman 7pm

Spurs vs. Memphis, 7:30pm CW35Tech Hoops @ UTEP 9pmBaylor Hoops @ Gonzaga, 3:30pmAggie Hoops vs. Arkansas, 1pm

Rockets @ L.A. Clippers, 9:30 p.m.Spurs vs. Denver, 7:30pm FSSWTech Hoops vs. UT Arlington 7pmBaylor Hoops vs. San Diego, 4pm

Tech Hoops vs. New Mexico, 7pmAlamo BowlTexas Bowl

Rockets @ Toronto, 6 pmUT Hoops vs. Coppin State, 1pmAggies vs. McNeese State, 7pm

31



Armed Forces Bowl



DECEMBERTrans-Siberian

OrchestraFrank Erwin Center, 8pm

Blonde Redhead La Zona Rosa,

Doors at 8, $22

Sam Adams

La Zona Rosa, Doors at 7, $15

What Made Milwaukee Famous

Antones,Doors at 9:30, $10

StoryvilleAntones,

Doors at 9pm, $20

MerryChristmas!

Cold War KidsThe Parrish,

Doors at 8, $25

Reckless KellyAntones,

Doors at 9, $18

Andy Dick's Stocking Stuffer

Music & Comedy ShowEmo's,

Doors at 9, $20

CakeAustin Music Hall,Doors at 7, $50

Compiled by Chad Shaw



He set every passing record imaginable at the University of Texas. He recently got his number retired at Darrell K. Royal-Texas

Memorial Stadium not even a full year after he left the college. Who was once a legend was then drafted way in the 3rd round to a team that had just signed two quarterbacks that same offseason. With the Cleveland Browns season going downhill quicker than the Dallas Cowboys year (Surprising huh?), the Browns finally turned to Colt McCoy to get him some experience. The Dawg Pound had already given up on this season, so why not let the rookie quarterback get some time to see if he’s capable of performing in the NFL. What happened next was something that the Longhorn faithful were used to with him, and something Mack Brown has always preached: Colt just knows how to win.

His first four games: two of the best defenses in the NFL (Pittsburgh Steelers and New York Jets), the reigning Super Bowl Champion New Orleans Saints, and a Championship caliber team New England Patriots. Most rookie quarterbacks, given that situation, would have been found later on curled up in the fetal position in their hotel bed.

The BecomingFor Colt McCoy, it was a challenge that he would never think about backing down from. Despite being sacked five times and getting knocked down all game long, Colt still went 23 for 33 for 281 yards against the Steelers. After that, the Browns defense must have told Colt to take the next game off as they somehow caught Drew Brees on a bad day, picking him off four times, returning two of them for touchdowns. Next week, outperforms Tom Brady, throwing for 174 yards on 14 for 19 passing, and puts in a 16 yard touchdown run in the 3rd quarter that snatched the game away from the Patriots. Finally with 2:42 left in the 4th quarter of the Jets game, Colt led the Browns down the field, throwing a touchdown pass with 44 seconds left. The Browns lost the game in overtime, but the power of Colt had already been felt.

Do you know who the two leading receivers are for the Browns? If you guessed Ben Watson and Peyton Hillis, you win. As you can obviously see, Colt doesn’t really have the talent around him to excel as well as he would want to. While Peyton Hillis has become a powerhouse as a running back, he isn’t really counted on to be a receiver. That isn’t to say that Colt McCoy isn’t the best passer in the world either, but he can make most of the throws. The best attribute about him is the same thing that Vince Young has, as well as pretty much every quarterback has had under Mack Brown’s tutelage at Texas: that ability to win. To have that ability, you have to be smart and a good decision-maker. It’s why Vince Young, after all his bad transgressions, was able to pass up Kerry Collins and lead the Titans somehow to a .500 record last year. That same reasoning is why Colt McCoy took over the starting job from two veterans and somehow found a way to come out 2-2 against four of the best teams in the NFL. When you draft a quarterback in the 3rd round, you are usually looking at a project: a guy that you bring in and let him develop a number of years. Drafting a guy with the leadership ability that Colt possesses, the Browns organization knew they had gotten a steal that late into the draft.

Are the Browns going to be relevant this year? It is highly unlikely, but their future is starting to look promising. With Mike Holmgren as the president of the Browns, the Dawg Pound should be comforted in

knowing that their organization is in good hands (and no, it’s not Allstate; sorry for the cheesy joke there, moving forward now). With Joe Thomas, one of the premier left tackles, covering McCoy’s blindside, it would appear that McCoy’s career won’t be injury prone. The Browns’ last time to win a playoff game was WAY back in 1994. While the Browns are still not close to reaching that mark, having a good quarterback is always the first part of it. The Cowboys built around Troy Aikman, the 49ers built around Joe Montana, and the Broncos built around John Elway. Colt McCoy’s will to win brought success at Texas, it has brought hope to the Cleveland Browns, and it’s put just a little more faith in Colt’s head that he can succeed in the NFL. Be ready folks, the Browns finally have a quarterback.

Corey Poche



We’ve heard it week in and

week out, “Texas football is bad”; “Fire Greg Davis”; “Put in Case McCoy”; “How

did they lose to them?” etc. The 2010 Texas Football season has been one of the most interesting displays of college football that I have ever witnessed. In case you missed it, my August Taylor Talk column focused on the different elements of the 2010 Texas Football program, The Good; The Bad; and The Light at the End of the Tunnel. Did I make some judgments that were way off? Of course. Were there some parts of my preseason analysis that were spot on? You bet. Rather than breaking down the 2010 Longhorn season position by position, I am going to revive the August Taylor Talk column to show the questions that were never answered, and the positives that never surfaced.

Taylor Talk August 2010The Good- “Will Muschamp’s ‘Legion of Boom’ defense lost three key players, however, I still believe that the Texas defense will be dominant. D-Linemen Sam Acho and Keenan Robinson should have no problem replacing Sergio Kindle and Lamarr Houston; and as for the Texas secondary, have you seen those animals on the field? Sure, the loss of Earl Thomas placed a void in the backfield, but Blake Gideon, Curtis Brown, and Aaron Williams are one of the most destructive secondary units in the conference. I have no doubt that the defense will once again be referred to as ‘The Legion of Boom.’”

Post Season Comments: The Texas defense has not been the weakest link on this team. One

aspect that I clearly dropped the ball on was the lack of consistency on the line. Outside of Kheeston Randall, the middle of D-Line has very little depth. Sam Acho and Keenan Robinson have put up some solid performances against their opponents, but it takes more the three players to stop an offensive attack. Overall, the Texas defense has done an exceptional job picking up the slack from the underperforming Texas offense, but they are nowhere comparable to the 2009 “Legion of Boom” defense.

Taylor Talk August 2010The Bad- “I would be lying if I said I have no concerns with the Texas offense. The O-Line was the weakest link on the 2009 Texas football team, period. Charlie Tanner, Adam Ulatoski, and Chris Hall were the few players that had some successful attempts at keeping Colt sack free (let me repeat the word SOME in this context), but with them history, the Texas O-Line may once again be one of the weakest link on the 2010 team.”

Post Season Comments: I don’t even know if I have enough energy to begin to describe how disappointing this offensive line really is so I’ll just end my statement in the words of Anne Josephine Robinson: “You are the weakest link. Goodbye!”

Taylor Talk August 2010The Light at the End of the Tunnel- “Garrett Gilbert, Garret Gilbert, Garrett Gilbert. Critics were out to get Gilbert for his slow starting 1st half of the 2010 BCS National Championship, but let me give you some facts about this Longhorn. Prior to the National Championship, Gilbert had taken 26 snaps. Let me repeat that, 26 snaps ALL season. Yet, he enters the biggest game in College Football and comes within 3 points of the Crimson Tide.

Even though Gilbert could not bring the Horns a victory in Pasadena, he proved to be victorious in who will best replace Colt McCoy.”

Post Season Comments: Even though Gilbert is getting all of the criticism in the world for his lack of efficiency this season, I am not giving up on this kid. Let’s look at the offensive game plan for 2010: There were 3 different starters at running back the first 3 games of the season; the preseason “quality” receivers constantly dropped balls that hit them in the hands and were outshined by a true freshman, who didn’t even start half of the games; and the offensive line looks lost on just about every play. Sure Gilbert has made some errors in some plays and has thrown a number of interceptions, but what does he really have to work with? I still believe that Gilbert is the future of this organization, now let’s just get him some blocking and a consistent offensive game play.

Prior to sending the August column into our editor, I did include Texas receivers in “The Good” and the Texas running game in “The Questionable”. Needless to say, the Texas receivers have been a big disappointment and the running game was a constant question mark all season. Overall, the Reconstruction Era of Texas football will continue into 2011 with a number of large voids that need to be filled on this roster. For the fans sake, let’s just hope the Texas Football Reconstruction Era does not last as long as the Reconstruction Era of the United States.

Taylor GasparCheck out Taylor TV on 1049thehorn.com

Follow me on Twitter: @Taylor_Gaspar

The Year That Was...Reconstruction

WWho would ever think that two basketball players from Canada, Cory Joseph and

Tristan Thompson, could be responsible for putting the Texas Longhorns back on top of the Big 12? They followed each other from Ontario, Canada to Findlay Prep in Nevada, played on the same AAU team during the summer, and they attended the same college. Now Rick Barnes is smiling, knowing that he has two guys to replace cornerstones Damion James and Dexter Pittman, and the flashy guard, Avery Bradley.

When given a free pass to leave Oklahoma, Damion James took that opportunity and came to Texas. He then became one of the best in Texas Longhorn history. In a time of players being “one and done” or leaving after their junior year, Damion stayed at Texas all four years. Texas also transformed a 366-pound guy into a 290-pound monster, better referred

to as Dexter Pittman. Insert Tristan Thompson, who helps alleviate the 28.4 PPG and 16.2 RPG that are now gone. He lacks the versatility and jump shooting ability that James possesses, but Tristan is your athletic big man who loves

blocking shots and throwing down dunks.

While Avery Bradley didn’t have the camaraderie that James and Pittman had, Bradley still had a very effective one year at Texas. Cory Joseph is a good point guard who will be able to take over Bradley’s role easily. It will also help Joseph that he will have his running mate, Thompson, to help his game excel. Joseph will likely take over Balbay’s spot at starting PG as he recovers from an ACL surgery, but expect to see both of them in the backcourt at the same time, once Balbay is healthy.

Canada doesn’t really produce the basketball talent (except for Steve Nash), but it has produced two great freshmen that will keep the Longhorns in the top 25 this year. Whether they are “one and done” or stick it out, Canada has come full force in the state of Texas, and Rick Barnes likes it.

Corey Poche

You're From Canada, eh?

Whodunnit?



That annual rite of passage is underway – my 3 kids putting together their Christmas wish lists. Actually, to call what they

construct - a list, would be unfair. They have decided taking the toy store sale pages from the Sunday paper and pasting their favorite things to sheets of paper is the way to go – “so that Santa has a visual aid and doesn’t get confused as to exactly what they want.” For the record, my oldest has a Dell Mini atop his, #2 wants a Razor Pocket Rocket; the little princess Daughter has her eyes a new drawing apparatus for the WI. I told them bluntly to get those to Santa ASAP and cross your fingers.

With all of this “wishing” going on… I decided it was high time to put together my December “Wish” list for the sports world.

Item 1 I wish Mack Brown would take a step back from the miserable 2010 season, re-evaluate everything going on in his program and make dramatic changes to turn its course. The Offensive staff needs a complete over-haul. Major Applewhite can stay to mentor a demoralized Garret Gilbert, but beyond that

-- start from scratch and bring a new attitude to the offense and bring it into modern day College Football. Will Muschamp should have a strong voice in any and all changes, including an intense look at the Strength and Conditioning Dept.

Item 2 I wish Jerry Jones would hire a strong football Team President or Director of Football Operations to help bring the Cowboys back to respectability. Jason Garrett has a real chance to become the type of aggressive young coach the organization needs, but he will need a shrewd right hand man to lean on for personnel decisions, whose initials are not J.J.

Item 3 In 9 years, the Houston Texans have had 2 head coaches – Dom Capers and Gary Kubiak. The 1st was a glorified defensive coordinator the 2nd a glorified offensive coordinator -- this Holiday season I wish the Texans would hire a true head football coach, a leader of men, who can lead a very talented, but under achieving team to the next level. 1st choice is Bill Cowher.

Item 4Far be it from me to tell Nolan Ryan anything, but I wish the Texas Rangers would let Cliff Lee sign a monster deal someplace else, and spend the big cash they would have given to Lee – to the Ultra athletic Texan, Carl Crawford. The speedster would give the Nolan Ryan and co. another young stud building block, the best defensive outfield in MLB, and the top 3 of Andrus, Crawford, Hamilton would be the most dynamic in the league for many years to come.

Item 5I wish all of you would listen to 104.9 the Horn all day – everyday. 11 hours of top notch sports talk and infotainment by the best line- in Austin.

Happy Holidays – I hope all of your wishes, sports included, come true.

Around the Hornwith Erin Hogan

The 2010 Texas Longhorns football season recently became a game of Clue, fans looking

to pin the blame for the crime of the team’s death on one person or group in particular. Was it Mack Brown in the locker room with his fire and brimstone message after the Iowa State loss? Perhaps Will Muschamp killed it, on the sidelines of the UCLA game, with his inability to coach a team to stop just the run? Or was it Garrett Gilbert, the drive killer with his horrible decision making? Seriously, the Commodores’ hairstylists in 1975 had fewer picks than Garrett’s put out there this year. There are other culprits, but as suspicious-looking and acting as they might be, there just wasn’t enough evidence to file charges. On November 13, ABC Analysts Sean McDonough and Matt Millen nailed the issue down. McDonough and Millen were discussing Texas’ success in recruiting, citing the fact that Oklahoma State had a roster with many players that UT had no interest in approaching. Mack Brown had gotten the players he sought, OSU and other teams got the leftovers. They then asked the critical question—the playmakers who WERE recruited – “Where are

those guys?” Exactly Sean and Matt. Where? The Texas Longhorns have no playmakers. Think about it. We’ve always had them. Last year, McCoy, Shipley, Earl Thomas, Kindle, Houston. They replaced names like Young, Sweed, Griffin, Roy Miller, and on and on… Every good program, which certainly includes Texas, has a revolving door of immense talent that steps up after others have left. When you needed a first down, a defensive stop on third down, a momentum breaking score, you knew someone would do it. The team knew it, which is why the Horns have always had that swagger. The 2010 Longhorns have no identity because no one has filled the role by making things happen on the field. This may be a one year fluke. Gilbert has potential, and WR Mike Davis showed flashes of ability, though he’s been dinged up for a good part of

the year. The defense has some names like Hicks, Jeffcoat, Okafor, but they’re not ready for prime time. Another year may be the answer for whole unit to develop into ballhawks.Next year brings a new crop of top national recruits like Malcolm Brown, the nation’s top ranked RB, speedster Quandre Diggs, and of course Jaxon Shipley, who some say will be better than his brother. One thing you cannot dispute—Mack Brown can recruit. Let’s hope this year he has recruited a bunch of playmakers and we don’t have to live through another season like 2010 anytime soon.

Brian Bartlett

Erin HoganESPN Austin



It’s a little kid’s dream come true: mom and dad decide

to let you open up just one Christmas present on Christmas Eve. For Mike Sherman, he got a gift a whole two months in advance: the quarterback play of

Ryan Tannehill. Texas A&M was 3-3 with their 3 victories coming against cupcake opponents. A bowl game was looking bleak, and you could feel the heat coming from Sherman’s seat from miles away as he was updating his resume. With a number of tough games still left and Jerrod Johnson struggling, Sherman rolled the dice and gave Tannehill the start. Since then, as of press time, the Aggies have been undefeated at the helm, including one very significant win.

65-10, 66-28, 42-14No, those are not your lucky lottery numbers. It didn’t matter where the game was played or who A&M had coaching, Bob Stoops had A&M’s number, and he had a good hold on it. When Oklahoma came around, A&M fans knew what was coming: a good ole fashioned ass stomping by the feet of the Sooners. Either Tannehill missed the memo or wasn’t fazed by it, but A&M was tired of losing and beating high school caliber teams (yes, that is a shot at Texas Tech). While Tannehill didn’t have the best of games, they did enough in a very even matchup, beating Oklahoma 33-19.

Been All Over the FieldHe has lined up as a quarterback first, then practiced at tight end when Jerrod Johnson progressed, and was finally placed at wide receiver. Tannehill provided 609 receiving yards

last, preceded by 844 yards the year before, and was very formidable at the position. With the production from Uzoma Nwachukwu and Ryan Swope, along with the consistency of Jeff Fuller, this gave Sherman the opportunity to take Tannehill and transition him back to quarterback. Now that he has been all over the field, Tannehill is throwing the ball all over the field. No one receiver is getting a majority of the love, and the offense has been a lot more balanced as well.

Cyrus Back At ItWhen Christine Michael arrived in College Station, Cyrus Gray knew what that entailed: he would be getting less carries. He took it in stride and they became a good 1-2 punch. However, when Michael was lost for the season to a broken tibia on October 30th, Cyrus showed that he hadn’t lost a step at being the go-to running back. He put up 102 yards and 2 TDs in pretty much a half against Texas Tech, followed it up with a 122 yard 1 TD performance against Oklahoma, and then exploded for 137 yards and 4 TDs against Baylor. They haven’t missed a step with Michael being out, and this gives Cyrus the chance to show he can be the big man in the backfield.

This team has come together and is pushing at a huge late season run. While it would take a miracle for A&M to see the Big 12 title game, they have achieved something this year: they’ve given new life to Sherman’s tenure at A&M. So, have yourself some eggnog, even alcoholic if you’re risky Mike, it looks like you’ll be in College Station a little longer.

Corey Poche

The Past and Present

It’s official. Tommy Tuberville’s first year as head coach of the

Red Raiders produced the exact same conference record (3-5) as Mike Leach’s inaugural campaign

did back in 2000. So what’s the difference? On paper those two records are identical, but the reality is that expectations for 2010 were much higher than they were in 2000. Following in the footsteps of the winningest coach in the program’s history has proven to be quite an unenviable task indeed.

Inconsistency at quarterback was almost unheard of under Leach; that is, until the 2009 season when injuries and poor performances led to a carousel at the position. That trend continued to plague the team this year with Taylor Potts’ masterpiece against Missouri being the only conference game in which he appeared to be comfortable and in control of the offense. Ironically, it also marked the first time that he started the game on the bench in 2010.

Regardless of who was taking snaps, outcomes of most games lost were a foregone conclusion

due to mammoth holes dug by the defense that was statistically among the worst in all of college football. If Leach’s name is synonymous with offense, Tuberville’s is with defense. Perhaps Leach’s bend-don’t-break defensive philosophy lingered a bit this year - logic says Tuberville turns this side of the ball around quickly.

The FutureTech fans hope a steady leader emerges to replace Potts at quarterback from the pack of four candidates set to compete this spring. That group includes four-star prospect Scotty Young, and Lake Travis’ Michael Brewer who is on track to enroll in Lubbock this January. Whoever wins that job will inherit a weapon which hasn’t been featured by a Tech offense in quite some time - an elite, receiving tight end. Jace

Amaro (2011 TE commit) has established himself as the most highly-touted recruit to pledge to the Red Raiders in over a decade. This addition to the Air Raid package should be very fun to watch.

Jonathan Welch

BIG XII FOOTBALL

Raise your hand if, come November, you thought that the Baylor Bears football

squad would raise its banner as the best college football team in Texas. Outside of Waco, nobody else did, either. But, with impressive wins at Texas, and at home against Kansas State, the Bears have garnered national recognition for their achievements on the football field, a rare feat for Baylor.

On the arm and legs of quarterback Robert Griffin III, Baylor’s offense has scored 33.7 points per game, through a loss to Oklahoma State, and with 3,000 yards passing through those 10 games, the Bears boast the 12th best aerial attack in all of college football. Griffin has a strong connection with two young wide-outs, junior Kendall Wright and sophomore Josh Gordon. Wright (59 catches, 780 yards, 6 TDs) serves as a safety-valve possession receiver, playing primarily in the slot, while Gordon (31 catches, 616 yards, 7 TDs) provides Griffin with a true big-play deep threat with incredible size (6-3, 220lbs).

The day before Halloween, Griffin led the Bears into Austin against a Texas Longhorns team desperate for a win and almost single-handedly outscored Texas, throwing two touchdown passes and running in another . Down 19-17 to start the 4th quarter, the Baylor quarterback snuck into the end zone with a 1 yard run one second into the period, and then sealed the win with a 30 yard strike to his favorite target Wright. The 30-22 victory marked the first time Baylor has won at Texas since 1991.

Big wins this season have been somewhat marred by some rather embarrassing losses, 45-10 to TCU on September 18th and a 55-28 snoozer to Oklahoma State on the 6th of November. Still, that Baylor has managed to fight off most of its competition is impressive, considering this program usually serves as the doormat of the Big 12 South. Losses to big time powers this season, like Texas Christian and Oklahoma State, don’t loom nearly as large as the Bears’ mid-season loss to Texas Tech—who’s on a down year, too—on October 9th. By the time the holiday season rolls around, we could see a Baylor team with 9 wins and a shot at the Big 12 title game, or one with a 7-5 record, but either way, this team is no longer the laughing stock of Texas.

Lyman Surface



BIG XII FOOTBALL

Last year, it was Derrick Roland going down with

a gruesome injury that I still can’t get out of my head like the Shaun Livingston one. Roland is currently on the defending D-League

Champion Rio Grande Vipers in case anyone was looking for an update on him. Unfortunately for Texas A&M, they had to deal with a far worse tragedy than what happened to Roland. After leaving the Bellaire Party, an after-prom party held at Dave & Busters for students, Tobi Oyedeji passed away after a head-on collision at around 6:00 in the morning. He was a kid who was one of the hardest workers on the team. Mark Turgeon had already stated that he would see significant playing time, possibly even start. Now, A&M has to figure out a way to rally around themselves to continue a streak, five years in a row winning at least one tournament game, which only Pittsburgh holds with them.

When Derrick Roland went down last year early in the season, a lot of A&M fans wrote off the season. However, Coach Mark Turgeon had his team better prepared than to falter at an injury. This year, along with the passing of Oyedeji, A&M has to find a way to replace their top two scorers as well. Donald Sloan and Bryan Davis were cornerstones for this team since they stepped on the court. What Turgeon preaches, hard work and defense, these two praised those attributes. A&M will rely on the rest of their recruiting class to bring forth that hard-nosed style: Keith Davis, Daniel Alexander, and Kourtney Roberson. While

Davis and Roberson are the down low bangers of the group, Alexander has the inside-outside offensive capabilities. They will learn quickly what Turgeon wants from them, as he is a very stern individual and gets the best out of all of his players.

These three recruits will join a solid group of players currently on the team. Ray Turner, David Loubeau, and Nathan Walkup are the only low-post returnees from last year. Walkup has had some identity problems, coming into Texas A&M as a shooter, who is now a strong rebounder and defender, but just lacks the offensive game. The backcourt is held up by Dash Harris, B.J. Holmes, Khris Middleton, and Naji Hibbert.

This is a solid group of players who can quickly turn a tragedy into motivation. When Billy Gillispie arrived at A&M seven years ago, he inherited a team that didn’t win a single game in conference play. Now this team, like mentioned earlier, has done something that teams like North Carolina, Duke, and Kansas can’t claim: winning a tournament game in the past five years. A&M will have to work to achieve that this year, but that’s right where Turgeon wants them.

Corey Poche

Following a run to the quarterfinals of last year’s

National Invitation Tournament (NIT), expectations are the highest that they've been for the Red Raider men’s basketball

team under head coach Pat Knight, and the young coach doesn't seem to be shying away from the pressure. In fact, he appears to be fanning the flames.

While speaking at the Big 12 Conference media day in October, Knight attempted to tie his fate to the team’s 2010-11 performance by calling this season one that will likely earn him an extension or get him fired. Which begs the question, does he really believe that or is he simply blowing smoke? Given the way he earned the job, it's a fair question.

Not many coaches are lucky enough to land their first head coaching gig at a Division I program, much less in a major conference such as the Big 12. Had Knight's predecessor not been his father, the legendary Bob Knight, he probably wouldn't have been that lucky either. When also considering the fact that the Knight family has close ties with current Texas Tech athletic director Gerald Myers, it seems highly unlikely that Knight’s job is in any real jeopardy.

Tech fans have wanted more from Knight ever since he was handed over the reins of the team in 2008. He was forced to learn on the fly in front of thousands how to become a head coach – and at times it has been awkward to watch. He admitted that often he found himself trying too hard to please others and acting like he thought his father might, instead of trusting his instincts and leading from within. It wasn’t until the end of last season that he finally began to show signs that he was comfortable in his own skin and the team responded with a strong showing in the postseason.

The 2010-11 team returns six seniors including unquestioned leaders and primary scoring threats G John Roberson and F Mike Singletary. Knight will rely heavily on those two, as well as F D’wayln Roberts and F Brad Reese to get the team off to a hot start. Don’t be surprised if freshmen G Javarez Willis and F Jaye Crockett become household names in their first year playing. They will both come off the bench but can be electric with the ball in their hands.

It is impossible to estimate the value of the education that Knight received from his father, but we have seen flashes of the potential. If he can continue to use what he learned instead of pretending like he belongs, we may just find that Bob Knight’s greatest gift he ever gave Tech was his genes.

Jonathan Welch

BIG XII BASKETBALL

Do you know the last time the Baylor basketball team made it out of the first

round of the NCAA Tourney before last year? That would be the 1949-1950 season, when Baylor went 14-13 that year. Last year they went 28-8, and this team is re-loaded for another run. The Baylor athletic department has stuck it out with Coach Scott Drew and is now reaping those benefits. Drew’s first three years at Baylor he went 21-53 and was on the hot seat. However, Drew came into an awful situation caused by former coach Dave Bliss:

· No postseason play for the 2003-04 season· Two key players left the team: Lawrence Roberts and John Lucas III· Scholarships were reduced for the 2004-05 and 2005-06 seasons· Baylor was barred from playing any nonconference games for the 2005-06 season· The NCAA reduced Baylor's paid recruiting visits from 12 to 9 for the 2006-07 season

Most coaches would just laugh off a position like that; but for Scott Drew, he saw an opportunity. His first season past all of the sanctions imposed on him, 2007-2008, he went 21-11, made the NCAA tourney, and Drew put the pedal to the metal.

Scott Drew now has taken over the Big 12 basketball scene by storm. He got commitments from Tweety Carter and LaceDarius Dunn from Louisiana. He’s given the Texas Longhorns a run for their money and snatched up Perry Jones. This is a coach that brings in the top talent and knows how to coach them to victory.

This team lost play-maker Tweety Carter and big man Ekpe Udoh, but with a guy like Perry Jones coming on, they won’t miss a beat. He had an Elite 8 team last year, and with the duo of Dunn and Jones, should be there again this coming year. He already has top commitments for his next two classes, Deuce Bello and Quincy Miller for 2011, and Isaiah Austin for 2012. Drew seems to be reloaded for the next couple of years as he continues to take over the Big 12.

Corey Poche

OvERCOmINg TRagEDy...agaINSCOTT DREw-:

ONE Of THE BEST IN THE NCaa?

gOOD KNIgHT, PaT?



NBAHe wasn’t a household

name last year’s draft. He was thought to be another foreign player that would stay

overseas for so long that by the time he made it to the NBA, you would have forgotten your team even drafted him. However, Rodrigue Beaubois had another agenda. Taken 25th overall by the Oklahoma City Thunder (could you imagine a backcourt of him and Russell Westbrook?), he was then traded over to the Mavericks with a 2nd round pick for B.J. Mullens.

Beaubois played sparingly for most of the first couple of months, finding spurts of 10+ points here and there. Then March came around and I guess Coach Rick Carlisle came down with a bad case of Spring Fever because he started giving more playing time to Beaubois. This time resulted in two 20+ point games, and then against the Golden State Warriors, he went off for 40 points, including 9 for 11 from beyond the arc. Unfortunately, Beaubois must have told Carlisle that the Easter Bunny wasn’t real because he saw a lot of bench time all through April and most of the playoffs. Finally, in the last game of their playoffs, Beaubois got to see

time in a losing cause, putting up 16 points when everyone else had gone ice cold.Throughout the off-season, Carlisle has finally started to realize the potential of Beaubois. He even stated that he was considering starting him at shooting guard, having the ability to have Shawn Marion come off the bench. Those plans fell through when Beaubois broke a bone in his left foot practicing with the French National team for the FIBA Championships. The injury was considered minor at first, with many thinking he would be ready for the start of the regular season. However, a pin had to be put in his foot to fix it for good, and it was stated that he’d likely be out through November.

The Mavs can’t wait to get him back in the lineup as Beaubois is an athletic marvel. At 6’2”, Beaubois has elite speed that is matched by very few in the NBA. What is the most surprising aspect of him is his 6’9” wingspan, which is unheard of for a guard of his height. While he doesn’t have the full grasp as a leading type point guard, he can score in bunches. With his 3 point range and good jumper, it’s hard to stop him with his combination of speed and shooting.

With the addition of Beaubois, the Mavs will be sporting one of the deepest teams in the NBA. Dallas will be sporting guys like Jason Terry, Shawn Marion, and Tyson Chandler or Brendan Haywood. Watching the Mavs right now, you can tell that aspect of Beaubois is missing. When he does come back at full strength, the Mavs will definitely be a team to fear as the season goes on. They’re just going to have to take baby steps at first.

Corey Poche

Well here comes another season of NBA basketball Houston style..! The biggest

question surrounding this team is not the talent but the health of its players, and if the early going is any indication of this season, it is going to be a long one.

For starters, the 7’6” big man Yao Ming (who was injured all of last year) is already injured just six games into the season. According to Coach Rick Adelman, he isn't sure what his plan for Yao will be when he returns from a sprained left ankle that's cost him four games so far. "I don't know what his doctors are going to say," he said. "It's so up in the air. Probably the only thing I can say: My biggest concern is he was

working himself, trying to get in condition. Now, he's missed this time. Where is he going to be when he comes back?"

To add insult to injury, starting point guard Aaron Brooks is out indefinitely after getting injured against long time rival San Antonio on November 6th. With depth lacking at the point guard position already this was an injury that may have doomed what many thought could be a breakout season for the Rockets. If they have any hope of the post season they had better turn it around quickly. Currently the Rockets are in last place of the South West Conference standings with a record of 3-8.

Todd Stern

Taking It One Foot at a Time

The NBA is a different NBA these years. Teams are looking for speed, athleticism,

and youth. For some reason though, the two teams that don’t abide by that the most are two of the better, more consistent teams in the NBA. The Spurs current producing youths are only two players, George Hill and Dejuan Blair. Outside of them, it’s the oldies that are pushing this team along to one of the best records in the NBA right now. The trio of Tony Parker, Manu Ginobili, and Tim Duncan has been on the Spurs for their whole careers. Surrounding these three players with good, smart role players, the Spurs have been a constant playoff name for over a decade.

With teams loading up on draft picks or trading their old veterans for younger athletes, the Spurs and Boston Celtics have stuck to their veterans. Going this route has led the Celtics to a championship and the Spurs are constantly threatening to do the same. Since getting the trio, the Spurs have added veterans in the form of Richard Jefferson, Antonio McDyess, and Matt Bonner. The Spurs have run the same offense, run basically the same plays for a good 7-8 years, and yet no one has really been able to consistently stop them. When your best player on your team is nicknamed “Mr. Fundamentals” you know you have a solid, sound basketball team.

At the time I wrote this, the Spurs were 8-1, tied with the New Orleans Hornets for the best record in the NBA. While time is starting to run out on this Spurs team when the main three are getting closer to retirement, they are still currently a formidable team. If Kevin Garnett is truthful when he yelled, “Anything is possible”, then you might want to watch out for the Spurs this year.

Corey Poche

The Celtics of the West

Rockets Under Repair



The Texas Rangers accomplished more than the Rangers fans ever thought. Even

before the playoffs started, the group led by Nolan Ryan and Chuck Greenberg outbid Dallas Mavs owner Mark Cuban for the reigns of the Rangers franchise. The fans had been begging for Tom Hicks to go away as it looked as if he would never spend the money to get the Rangers into the playoffs. It would just so happen that the year that Hicks gives up the team is when General Manager Jon Daniels pulls off a trade to reel in Cliff Lee, and help propel the Rangers to win their division for the first time since 1996. Led by the recently acquired Lee, the Rangers proceeded to knock out the Tampa Bay Rays, and then dismantled last year’s World Series Champs the New York Yankees. How great was that? Unfortunately, the Rangers met their match in the World Series against the San Francisco Giants, whose young pitching led the way to a title.

Despite not winning the World Series, Rangers fans are just excited for what they’ve accomplished this year. What makes them more excited is that this team has a young nucleus, with new owners willing to bust out the checkbook that could stick around for a long time. However, there is still work to be done preparing this team for another World Series run:

1. Re-Sign Cliff Lee: It’s pretty self-explanatory: you need to re-sign one of the best

pitchers in the MLB right now. After knocking out the Yankees, you know the Yankees are going to write out even more expensive pay-checks to try and bring in Lee and make sure the team who knocked them out gets their just revenge. With Lee, the Rangers would have a great 1-2 lefty punch with C.J. Wilson to help out the boomsticks that the Rangers carry around. Without Lee, that would force Tommy Hunter to be the #3 starter behind Lee and Lewis, which we will get to shortly.

2. Sign Carl Crawford: I know what you’re thinking: Corey, the Rangers have plenty of outfielders and adding another is only going to create a larger cluster out there. Here’s the thing: Vlad’s option wasn’t picked up due to it being too expensive; but he might be signed back. If not, that opens up the DH spot, which may not have to be filled in by someone else. Josh Hamilton and Nelson Cruz both suffered injuries a number of times over the season. By rotating Crawford, Hamilton, Cruz, and David Murphy you would less likely have to deal with injuries occurring. Crawford is the type of player that the Rangers covet: Speed, a good hitter, provides decent power, and is just a smart ball-player.

3. Find a #3 or #4 Starter: He started off the year 8-0. He was 11-2 through August, but then something came over him the rest of the way. Tommy Hunter went 2-2 through September and then fell apart in the playoffs.

He pitched a total of 11 1/3 innings in three games in the postseason, which in case you don’t know - that’s not good. Hunter started the season off in the minor leagues, and I think as the season progressed, teams started to get the book on Hunter. If Lee is not re-signed, the Rangers will have to sign someone else because Hunter is not ready to be a #3 starter.

While the bullpen was a problem in the playoffs, over the regular season they were one of the most dominant during the regular season. They have a lot of young guns who are only going to get better. With those three things in place, the Rangers will be even more primed for yet another run at a potential World Series trophy.

Corey Poche

Thank you, Heath and Lee, along with all of the wonderful writers, and staffers. Thank

you for having me on board - it’s an honor and a privilege. (“OH, SHUT-UP!”) Alright, if that’s the entire intro you need, I’ll get right to it. Golf, and golfers. Who’s hot? Lookout P.G.A. Tour, the 2008 Longhorn Jhonattan Vegas received his first PGA tour card for the upcoming season. The 26-year-old Venezuelan earned $336.334 last year, which ranked 7th on the Nationwide Tour money list.

Another ex- Longhorn, Lisa DePaulo, came up big this fall and won the L.P.G.A. Teaching and Club Pro sectional down in Humble (That’s pronounced “umble” to you just visiting). The victory has earned Lisa a spot in the LPGA Championship for 2011. Ya’ gotta’ like a Cali Girl by birth that chose the Burnt Orange and still lives in Longhorn Country, or A-Town to Lisa and our Homies. What’s new in equipment, you ask. How about a $650 driver? Cobra-Puma Golf is releasing a limited edition driver, the “ZL Driver” which is scheduled to debut in pro shops on December 15th. With only 500 in production, the club is made of advanced multi-material construction and Adjustable Flight Technology along with a high performance Fujikura Motore Speeder

Shaft. Wait a minute. Are we talking about a golf club or an F-16 fighter jet, here? Ian Poulter was the first tour player to pull it out of his bag this fall. I’m sure. He can afford it. For my money, that club better tickle my balls while I drive, too.

It’s time now to take a closer look at one of our many fine golf courses in central Texas. I would like to start the year off with one of my favorites, Grey Rock Golf Course. Formally known as Circle C Ranch, this daily fee public track is not the hardest course around, nor is it full of breathtaking scenery, as are some of our lake country courses; but the charm is in a landscape that we Central Texans have come to love and admire. The fairways are lined with big oak trees and the signature clusters of mesquite. Mogul type mounds dotted with bunkers often surround the greens. The course is well-maintained and I seldom run into slow play. It’s an easy access, with a drive of 20 minutes tops from downtown, south on MoPac (Loop 1). I suggest you use “GOLF512” online to book a tee time; and with the web discount, the price is right. Oh, and the burgers in the clubhouse are pretty darn good too!

Grey Rock Golf Course stats:Age: 19 yrsPublic 18 holes at par 726,859 yardsRating: 72.7Slope Rating: 122Designer: Jay MorrishGreens: BermudaFairways: BermudaContact: 7401 State Highway 45, Austin 78739(512) 288-4297 We hope you enjoy golfing Central Texas, and remember: When you swing with grace and ease, the golf gods you will please; when your swing is hard and fast, your game will never last.

Bobby Kelland

22 www.TexasSportsPro.comAvailable at all Exxon Tigermarket locations in the Greater Austin areaTEXAS


new

s

bizarreunusual&WEIRDby Andrew J. Hewett ChewedNews.com

The Egyptians did not limit their mummifying to just fellow humans, but also prepared animals and birds. Egyptologists have opened tombs to find baboons, cats, bull cattle, crocodiles, scorpions and fish. One tomb, in fact, contains an estimated one-million mummified birds.

In 1947, a Bedouin boy looking for his goats on a cliff overlooking the Dead Sea, tossed a rock into a cave and heard something shatter. Crawling inside to see what had broken, the boy found large clay jars containing the famous "Dead Sea Scrolls," with versions of the Holy Bible 1,000 years older than any copies known before.

David Flick of The Dallas Morning News reported in June of 2007, that Ken Giddens, 75, of East Tawakoni, Texas, had sold his phone number, of many years, to pizza parlor entrepreneur Montra Land. That occurred because Mr. Giddens' last five digits (74992) spelled out the word PIZZA. He agreed to $500, plus two free pizzas monthly, for life. (Giddens' new phone number ends with 4646, which spells HO HO.)

THEY GOT REALLY

WRAPPED UP IN THEIR

TALENT

WONDER IF THE KID EVER FOUND HIS GOATS?

WHEN HE EATS HIS 600TH PIZZA HE'LL BE OVER 100 YEARS OLD

the nosebleeds

Visit TexasSportsPro.com

and wiN!each month, TSP is giving away gift certificates to Twin Peaks, 620 Cafe & Bakery, and Smokey Mo's BBQ.

Teravista Golf Course in Round Rock is also giving away a free foursome

of golf. Details can be found at www.TexasSportsPro.com.

These are the words I repeat in my head every single morning, just before I pull my

butt-cheeks out of bed. It’s a matter of faith for me. In this way, as the day begins, I make a choice not to ruminate over whatever the hell happened yesterday; and conversely, not to stress out over whatever the hell may happen tomorrow. Can’t do a dang thing about either, and the fact is, such concepts as “yesterday” and “tomorrow” really don’t exist at all, not in real-time. All you ever have, and all you ever are, is who you are in this one moment you’re in. For the moment, your entire existence is reading my blog. For the moment, my entire existence is writing it.

Not that “keeping it simple” is an easy thing to accomplish these days. We live in a cluttered world like an attic stuffed to the rafters with useless crap we’ll never actually use or need. Politics, agendas, opinion polls, talking heads, blogs and blogs and blogs, global warming, recycling, immigration, vaccination, voting districts, conservatives, liberals, libertarians, plasma screen TV’s, laptops, high-speed connections, downloads, uploads, airbags, abortions, tea parties, anti-tea parties, anti-anti-tea parties, stem cells, prison cells, gun rights, gay rights, midget rights, gender reassignment, childhood obesity, adulthood obesity, restless leg syndrome, manic depression, moderate manic depression, attention deficit disorder with a side of schizophrenia and hyperactivity, drug rehab, sex rehab, gambling rehab, texting rehab, jerk rehab, presidents, senators, representatives, special needs, comedians, actors, Sean Penn, 3-D Imax interactive experiences, low-sodium popcorn, diet pills, Bowflex machines, Sham-Wow’s, Moon Sand, Truthers, Birthers, Mormons, evangelicals, Catholics, atheists, vegans, Glenn Beck, String Theory, Quantum Mechanics, creationism, evolution-ism, and more a-holes than non-a-holes, which, like opinions, are usually following close behind you no matter how fast you run. Indeed. It is a most noisy and cluttered world, stuffed to the rafters with noisy and cluttered minds.

The problem, I think, is that most of us have reconfigured the reality of this life into a straight line, with a beginning and an end, and the deeply-flawed notion that it’s a contest of some sort, with Winners and Losers and no one

in between. The clutter piles up as we race towards the end of the line, with each runner believing to their bones that the clutter itself represents some level of “success.” The clutter is whatever we think we need or deserve, based upon how well we’re running the race. Wealth, material possessions, awards, college degrees, social standing, big breasts, six-pack abs, and perfect hair. Even the populist concept of Heaven is a contrived bit of clutter, a celestial country club where only the most devout “winners” are allowed past the rope line and onto the red carpet. The “losers” go to Hell, where they sit and wallow in a bubbling deep fryer for all of eternity. Man. It sucks to be a loser, all the way around.

The thing is, after 42 years of a mostly hard-luck life on Planet Earth, I have observed no evidence in the natural world - or in the teachings of my Christian faith, for that matter - to lead me to believe in this “contest” theory. As far as I can tell, life is…simple. It’s an experience, nothing more. You wake up in the morning, you do a bunch of stuff, and then you go to bed. The only Winners I have met in my life were those odd characters who “succeeded” in grasping the momentary wonderfulness of the sound of an April rain on the patio. The only Losers I’ve known were those cluttered fools who didn’t, or wouldn’t. Too busy running the line.

An old priest friend of mine once said, “Do less; be more.” Wow. What a perfectly cut diamond of workable wisdom! How much of our precious lives do we waste “doing” and not “being?” Brothers and sisters, I have wasted many, many years running that line…which is why, I suppose, I am now so self-protective of the simple stuff. Because it’s all simple stuff. Every single atom of it.

Take some time to de-clutter yourself today. Have a yard sale of the soul, and let it all go for free, no matter the Blue Book value. Trust me. The only one keeping score is you.

Sean Rima

Sean Rima can be heard Monday - Friday from 4-7pm on 98.9 The Big Talker

Texas Sports Pro- December 2010

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