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Book Review: Keys to Parenting an Adopted Child By: Kathy Lancaster

*Received the Parents’ Choice Silver Honor Award

Keys to Parenting an Adopted Child discusses important issues that adoptive parents may be experiencing, as well as many helpful tips to prepare future adoptive parents for the journey ahead.

Useful Sections include:

The most important predictors of a well-adjusted adopted child

Studies about the impact of heredity versus environment on personality

The importance of your child's privacy and who needs to know what details on your child's adoptive status

Appropriate adoption language and terminology What to expect at each developmental stage your child

goes through How to answer questions from the public regarding the

adoption

Larupa Green 1) How old were you when you were adopted?

4 years old.

2) Where were you adopted from?

Thailand

3) Do you know your birth parents?

No.

4) Do you have any brothers and sisters in your adopted family?

Or any that you know of in your biological family?

No, I see my adopted parents as my only parents. They were the

ones who were really there for me, and raised me. My real

parents only gave birth to me.

5) Have your adopted parents been open with discussing your

background with you?

Yes, they have been very open. They even took me back to the

orphanage I originally came from to visit.

6) Do you think it is easier to adopt from the U.S or overseas? Why

or why not?

Of course it is easier, because you don’t need nearly as many

legal documents, and the process is much faster since you don’t

have to deal with foreign governments, and their laws.

“I am very grateful for the life I have now. I do sometimes

wonder where I would be or know, or be doing had not my

current parents adopted me, or if my real parents had not put

me in the orphanage.”- Larupa Green

Interview with Mr. McDermott 1) How old were you when you were adopted?

4-5 months

2) Where were you adopted from?

I was born in Washington D.C. and that was adopted from the Parker Home at four-

five months.

3) Do you know your birth parents?

No.

4) Do you have any brothers and sisters in your adopted family? Or any that you

know of in your biological family?

I have an older sister, Megan who was adopted two years prior to my arrival.

5) If you do not know your parents, have you ever wanted to find them?

Only when I was mad at my parents for “grounding me.”

6) Have your adopted parents been open with discussing your background with you?

Yes, when I asked any question(s)

7) Have you ever felt different?

Yes, my situation is unique- My „adopted parents‟ are white, while my sister and I are

mixed.

8) Do you think it is easier or better to adopt from the U.S or overseas? Why or why

not?

I am a firm believer of domestic adoption due to the fact that I am a product of adoption.

“My parents are the ones who adopted me in 1978, they are the ones who

have provided me with more opportunities in life than I could ever

imagine. Therefore, the title of „adopted parents‟ has never been used as

term for describing them. I have always attempted to represent them in

the best way possible through my day-to-day activities. I have found my

personal plight to be vastly different than my older sister‟s. It goes to show

you there remains the debate of Nature vs. Nurture.” – Brian McDermott

Interview with psychiatrist Dr. Lowndes

1) In what ways do you think adoption affects children? What sort of emotional issues do

you think adopted children tend to deal with?

Positive Affects- Children get a well-balanced life they would be deprived of.

Negative- There may be a quest to know biological parents or lack of self-

knowledge. Kids who are adopted at a higher age are more aware of their lack of

self-knowledge.

2) How can parents help their child cope with these sorts of issues?

Adopted parents need to always make sure that they remind the child of how

lucky they are. They need to know that they are special.

3) After working with my sister, Ava, what sort of changes have you seen in her ever since

your first visit with her?

Positive- Ava’s emotional issues are unique to her. Her problems certainly needed

to be addressed. Also, her family members needed to learn how to cope with her

during this time. After Ava received help, there was increased awareness of how

family members needed to cope with her.

Negative- Behavioral problems could have come from her heritage (ADD). She

expressed most of her problems at home and at school. Negative comments from

authorities lead to negative self-esteem.

4) Do you think it is important for the child to continue to have a connection to the country

they are adopted from?

-Yes, but visits to the country should not be allowed until later on when they child

understand their situation. Visits should also depend on the country and the

country’s conditions and way of living. This is important because of what that

would say about self-worth to the child.

5) At what age do you think it is important for the child to learn that he or she is adopted?

- It all depends on the child. I would advise an early age so that the child can be

aware as soon as possible and it will always be a part of their self-knowledge.

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