Teaching Boy Writers

8/3/2019 Teaching Boy Writers

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Supporting boy

writerS

an initial diSSemination report from an emC projeCtwith mayfield, Seven kingS and wanStead SChoolS

funded by the teaCher development agenCy


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ContentS

Ac k n o w l e d g e m e n t s

b b

es m C, 18 C tc,

l, n1 2un 2009

C o n t e n t sf

ic 3

j as 5

m mch 11

a ds 19

f C 34

as b 47

j ws 53

Reections on the project 62

Boys and writing an overview 64

Bibliography 68


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foreword

F o r e w o r dA ty a J Ya fm

Ii f ecai

The research undertaken in this project is

cs:

a commitment to improving ones own

c cc-s q

understanding how an improvement

cc s s

understanding of childrens learning

a willingness to consider alternatives to

c cc

the importance of a framework for

researching practice, guiding reection

and analysing ndings.

The kind of learning community that this group

cs css, s cx

ss

and the supporting of writing. The questions

cs s c

csss

and from the teachers desire to meet the needs

of specic individuals with difculties. From the

cs c c

sharing of their ndings, the teachers are feeling

s ss

s

cx sc qss s: s

xc s; s c

c csss; s

?

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cs sc s s

and outside the discourses of schooling. They

css cs c s

s s qss sc scss

as targets, levels and ability; but there are alsos qss cs

that have come to be seen as supportive for all

ss: s; ;

collaborative writing; talk and writing.

t cs c c

complexity of what they are investigating. Theirccs s c ss

struggling boy writers must always attend to

: s s

may not work for another (p.28). In considering

s sc cxs c

tasks are set and supported, the teachers

c c csss

scss c

ss s cxs c

s cs csss

as well as of teachers and pupils. They are able

c cs c

s s s s

class (p.28). Its possible that some teachers feel

s cs s cs

s c s c

in their accounts of a developing condence in

s cs s

cs s ss

to themselves and to each other. When they meet

they are able to share and sharpen their ndings

(John Hickman, p.63) and this process allows

c cs

discussed in potentially fruitful ways. There is little

ss cs c s

s s: ss==>==

>cure trajectory.

t cs specically the kinds of reection and enquiry that

pgCe css

pressures and excesses of everyday teaching

have reduced the opportunities for this. Where are

s s ss nQts

xc cs? i ss s

s s ss

within English studies at this time. We think that

this project could be seen as a model for the ways

c cs cs sslead the research while at the same time work


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emC/tda writing projeCt

with professional bodies, subject associations

and advisers. The project is a strong argument for

s Cpd c,

from teachers practice and are supported and

sustained over time.

A ty a J Ya


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3

introduCtion

t h e

P r o J e C tIntroduCtIon

i j 2008 es m

C s tc d

Agency (TDA) to set up a short CPD project for

teachers on Struggling Boy Writers, with the

ss s cs sc css c

manageable personalised learning with specic

reference to low achieving boys in years 7 and 8.

The project was born out of EMCs sense that this

s s c cs

cs c c s

s ss s

cc s s

whole class routines and procedures. The skillsof sensitive ne-tuning of the teaching of writing,

to meet the needs of individuals with difculties,

seemed to have been eroded. We wanted to

cs

s cs s c

x s

cc c

of writing in the light of these tensions. A pair of

cs r scs

participate.

For the project each teacher selected two

cs s ss y 7

Year 8 class. Initially the teachers interviewed

ss cc ss

, sss

underachievement in writing. They then met

cc es m

C , c cs ss, s

experiences and nd out about recent research

on struggling writers (see Boys and writing on

page 62 for a brief list of some key ndings from

a literature search conducted by EMC staff). They

xc ss

getting students started on writing (a set of ideas

, sc

cs sc s s

cs c sstrategies and role-play as well as free writing.)

t c c

ss c

their case studies.

o cs , cs,

supported by John Hickman (a Redbridge

LEA consultant) and EMC staff, tried out the

cs cs c

s c, cs s s s csss s

help struggling writers. They maintained contact

with EMC and each other via basecamp,

a web-based tool that allows projects to be

managed and tracked. Lessons were observed

, cs cs ss,

cs cs- c

ss ss

strategies.

i j, r,

cs c

had been doing to share with the whole group.

ts c s cs

c scss, s

observations. Sharing their experiences not only

cs s c

c s s

to try out each others approaches as well.

i j, cc ,

met for a nal conference at EMC. John Hickman

presented his reections and observations about

the impact of the Project on the participants and

the outcomes in terms of CPD. The teachers

scss s cs ss

csss, s cs s

struggling writers and the project as a process of

CPD.


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4

introduCtion

S scs cs :

h c ?

C s ?

h c ss

s ? t ss c

s ; c

s ss ?

os ss

sc sss

writing and create a writing workshop

atmosphere.

Sc ss sss s

c

m s s

s c? h c

c ?

vs cs

s s?

Finding out more about students work in

other subjects what light can this throw s s es sss?

b sc cs

sccss c

w s css? h

cs s

writers t the needs of other students?

w c s

ss css s ?

Css s s Cpd

how does reecting about your practice,

cs ss,

c? C s

kind of reection help you become more

exible, attuned to students individual

s ss sc?

g s c

s os s s

good practice.

d S s, cs

began to write up their projects as the reports

which form the basis of this booklet. They held

ss s ds,

c s sc

most signicant new approaches to offer to theircolleagues. They raised important new ideas

cs s

about how the project had impacted on them as

reective practitioners.

t s s c sc

accounts of six teachers work with twelve boys

s s

writers. We hope that their approaches as well as

the processes of trialling and reecting that theysc s cs

c s

of students.

t cs s s s s

c :

Jill Anderson, Mayeld School

Matt McHugh, Mayeld School

f C, ws

Sc, Q ks

a ds, ws

Sc, S ks h Sc

as b, S ks h Sc

j ws, S ks h Sc

w S m ts

scs s j

hc s c

project.


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5

jill anderSon, mayfield

J I l l

A n d e r s o nMel School College

ov e r v i e w

This was a project about struggling boy writers. I

s s s y 7 css

who were underachieving in their writing. After

cs ss,

s sss sboys writing. At the workshop we also explored

ss c s

teaching writing. On the same day we were asked

to identify strategies to use with our students.

Towards the end of the project, the students were

interviewed again.

MY CAse studIes

a b q ss css ,

outspoken boys. The boys are both well behaved

css

dominating assertive boys. A is a Black English

s C es s s

rst language. His KS2 English SATs score at

the beginning of the project was 3.5, although

his writing score was lower than his reading.

Bs ethnic background is Indian and his rst

language is Panjabi. His KS2 SAT score was 4.3,

however his writing again is lower. Evidence of

writing in both of the boys English books showed

consistent level 3 work. Both boys conveyed a

s sccss, b c

s ss s c

s s ss s

expectations for him. At the start of the project I

s

ss s c css, i

would be good candidates for the project.

Iiia ii a am

At the start of the project we were encouraged to

interview our students individually. The interviews

were lmed and transcripts made. The initial

s s ss positive attitudes towards writing and English.

b a xss c

ss s, ss s

s ,

i s ss ,

of the students were able to provide me with this.

b ss s s

s s, s

their writing.

a b xss s s

s s s

where they need to improve their writing. Although

s c s

s s , i s

s s

c cs s ss

ss s s

writing.

The boys writing initially seemed to sharesimilar weaknesses. When looking at A and Bs

i s ss , s

sc s x s s

problems. As a result, I identied shaping and

sc s i cs

s , s

project began to unfold, providing opportunities

for sustained writing became more important.

os s

c ssc , ss s

ss c

sustained piece.

The extracts from A and Bs exercise books (see

page 6) highlight the issues of structuring and

ss s s sss s

c, c

student interview.


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6

one sunny day there was a family the lived

on albert rode so the day started usually but

thir was one quit boy when ever he gos to

school he gets piked on his name was Jacob

people would pick on him and all Jacob wouldsay in his mind I wish I had a comic book that

characters would come to life

A, Story draft, 17th November, 2007

I am scared and fritened of my new home there

are lots of people here and I hope to see you

soon. How are you doing

B, Empathetic letter home from a character in a

flm, 28th March, 2008

strAtegIes

Over the course of the project I decided to

incorporate several new strategies. First I used

s cs

ss s

to sustain their writing. Another strategy was toprovide opportunities for paired work. I was hoping

s c cs ss

be forced to reect on their writing through the

discussions that would occur. I also felt I wanted to

nd out more about their writing in other subjects

s c

their writing.

col l Abor At i ve wr i t i n g

i c s c cs

s scss cs

place at the initial workshop at the EMC. A range

cs ,

c ,

visual approaches and collaborative writing. In the

cs scss s i

that collaborative writing might be benecial to A

and B. Although paired work is frequently used in

sss s s, i s students were writing a sustained piece of work.

b s s s s

as a question of making choices. They wrote

s ,

often putting down the rst idea that struck them.

i c c

s ccs s s

evaluate them.

i, i a b cs q

c s i cs

s

ss

the discussion about writing. Without intervening

i s s

and I found that the more condent student, B,was dominating. Students were asked to write the

i

c s

the strongest section of writing in the piece. B

c ss s

s

together in comparison with the rest of As writing.

t s :

The rabbit proof fence is a moving lm aboutthree brave girls who get taken away from their

mother by mr. riggs, mr nevilles assitant. But

then the three girls try to ascape travilling over

1500 miles the girls face hard times together.

Following this paragraph the boys nished the

piece on their own. Bs subsequent writing on

s cs c s ss

powerful.

.This lm is rated at 5 star..

Again, As writing in comparison does not sustain

the purpose of the writing (to review) and he

essentially retells the story.

then molly and grasy went Back But then mr

Neville came and took daisey away and they

never saw her again


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7


o, xc s c

by the boys reects a strong sense of purpose

cs ss

vocabulary. There is also a more powerful and

engaging voice in the collaborative piece.

f s s xcs c

writing, the benets are evident in the writing.

t s q

s c c , s

compared with what they could do on their own.

t x i

ss c, i c a

student who was a much stronger writer. This did

s s

able student was eager to just start writing and

get on with his work whilst A lacked condence in

expressing and sharing ideas.

Towards the end of the project, when I interviewed

the students, B said that he did not enjoy writing

s cs s

cc s s s

s s s s s

writing more. In contrast, A said he enjoyed the

s s sideas. When asked what kind of partner he enjoys

s, s,

helps me a lot.

Reecig o collborive wriig

This work highlighted a few worthwhile points.

The rst thing I noticed from this collaborative

s ss

s, s cc

collaboratively. Prior to working on this project

I overestimated the students ability to work in

s ss ss

acquired the skills in primary school. In addition,

as Bs comments reect, students with writing

difculty might not respond in the same way

to the same strategy. However, the sample of

c a b ss

s c

s ss s

, s

s sss scss

writing. In a short project like this and with so

many different strategies being used its difcult to

judge the impact of just one.

su st Ai n ed wr i t i n g us i n g

v i s u A l Ap p r o A c h e s

Towards the end of the project I decided to ensure

i ss ,

s s sc c

work. The students were placed in mixed ability

s ss c

story around. Each group had to complete a story

board that told the story around their picture. The

story board would form the basis of their planning.

Ssq sss s

story. Following each writing lesson my planning

was informed by the students work.

bcs s

s, a b c

i

able to write for a sustained period of time. After

s s s

s s scs,

ccs sentences. This was an area that several students

css , i

s x sss ss

ss scs c

a more shaped and structured piece of writing.

The impact this had on the boys writing was

, s s ss

c cs s s

s cs s s

can be taught and learned in couple of lessons.

in vest i gAt i n g th e i r wr i t i n g

i n ot h e r su b j e c t s

i c s

picture of what was happening with B and As

writing in other subjects. I found it very interesting

that when I looked at a sample of Bs writing (As

was unavailable) from his Science lessons, hiswriting style seemed different. It seemed more


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8

condent as it included detail and the sentences

were complex and used a variety of connectives.

Overall, it was well structured and more uid.

ts ss s

describing a process. The samples also included

diagrams. In the nal interview however, B saidthat he prefers writing stories.

The following extract from Bs Science book

ss ss c s

structure. In addition he uses complex sentences,

connectives and punctuation more condently.

is xc s

s s xc c

letter included above. The extract also included

diagrams of the processes being described.

When you have

indigestion pain is cased

by your stomach acid

rising up your gullet.

This is cased by acid

reacting with your body.

To solve this pain you

will have to take antacid

because in this tablet it

has alkali. When acid

and akali is together the

chemical react and then

when heated up it turns

to crystel of salt abd the

water evaporates.

B, 28th March

Analysing Bs writing from a different subject

s s s

c b s s s

interesting questions.

ts css s s s

c ss s

skills from one subject to the next. It would be

s s , s

s ss c s

s s c cs

s ss, s cs

c s sc, s

cs scc - s s s

s cs b s s the subject.

Appendix 1


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9


wAtching th e m wr i t i n g

e a

cs c s s

ss , c ss

in this particular piece of writing. During one ofs sss j hc s

s sc ,

A writes and the way he holds his pen. He is

cs c

s, s cs

difcult for him to see what he has just written

c s sss s

punctuation in his writing.

F i n A l in t e r v i e wDuring the nal interview with the boys I asked

s

nished to read the entire piece over. Interestingly

a s s c

check for his mistakes when he is nished a piece

of writing. B also responded that he waited until

he was nished. I think this, in addition to the way

a s s s, s cfactor to his struggle to improve in writing. This

s , c c

discussing with students the process of reecting

and reading over as they write instead of just

when they nish their work.

In the nal interview I also spoke to the boys

s

given. Despite giving the boys a variety of targets,

s s s s

with their writing. Through the discussion I had

b, s

s s, s s

exactly what to do about them. Not surprisingly,

s xss

comments from their teachers and enjoy having

their work read and commented on by peers.

the IMPACt oF

the ProJeCt

th e impAc t o n t h e bo y s

In the nal interview, I asked the boys if they

felt their writing had improved. A was positive

and felt he was improving. B however did not

feel that his writing had improved over the year.

a i c s ss cs

writing, as mentioned earlier I think As condence

improved and both boys seemed to enjoy being

a focus throughout the course of the project. Thes s ss cc

about and reect on their writing which I feel has

been a positive outcome for the boys and myself.

tim imiai

as i s sss i s

s

ss, i s

cs s

s ss s ss

available to undertake sustained writing. I did not

s ss q ss,

s, s c s s ss

i s ss

c s

students had an opportunity to write. Despite this,

c s sss s s

ss

when they were given the opportunity. In the nal

, a c s

he enjoyed it because he felt he had lots of ideas

s sc s

writing.

th e impAc t o n me

Professionally, the project had a great impact

on me and encouraged critical reection on the

impact my teaching has on students writing.

fs, s s cs ss ss b a,


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10

css cs

quietly and are undemanding of attention. In

addition, my perception of both As and Bs

condence in the lessons was that they seemed to

develop and to enjoy the extra attention they were

receiving.

Furthermore, I have enjoyed the experience as I

i ss

s c c s

c s ss

to be made in developing writing skills. There

s ss

ss sccss s

ss s

c s writing and analyse it over a period of time. This

project has also made me reect critically on the

amount of time actually spent in lessons writing. In

s i -s

provided for students to do sustained writing.

The project has also made me aware that if

c s sccss

reective discussions, it must be practised and

modelled. Finally, it has also highlighted for me

ss s reect on and read over their writing as they

produce it.


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11

matt mChugh, mayfield

M A t t

M C h u g hMel School College

ch o o s i n g t h e cAse st u d i e s

i i s sc ss

i

project. Many of the boys in the group were

achieving Level 4 or above and those that werent

were identied as being EAL or SEN students.e i s C , s

l 4 s Sats c l 3

, d, s

working at a very high Level 2.

Irocig he cse sies

C s s s,

slowly as the project has progressed. At the

i c

c cs s q

cs s

work. Early pieces of writing that he completed

s s ss cs

c cqs s c,

any writing produced was very short in length.

m s s c

C. Even at the beginning of the year he seemed

to be switched off identifying what he described

as easy work like watching videos as hisfavourite part of English.

i s s c cs, s s

s , C s

s s ss

was unmotivated. He complained about producing

x cs sc s ss

scs, s s

tired. He also expressed frustration at being

dictated topics for writing. When asked how writing ss:

Dont make us all do the same story let us

change the teachers ideas. This was one aspect

of boys motivation presented in an overview of

research of boys underachievement at EMC.

D was far more optimistic (or perhaps just lessdiscerning) than C in his outlook to English.

i c c s

ss , s

identify any parts of English that he didnt enjoy.

is, s c

s c s c

s c s

s! ds

student, D seemed to be quite vague (blissfully

unaware?) in regards to any problems with hiswriting. He identied punctuation and vocabulary

s ss s cc,

interviews it became apparent that he didnt really

understand what these words meant. In general

he felt alright about writing.

By comparing the two boys writing it became quite

s ss s

to produce sustained and developed writing. Ds

c s s

paragraph produced in a space of thirty minutes.

a, s

sss s, c

s c cs

more able students.


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12

Eviece of he bos wriig he

a f pjc

Below are extracts from each of the boys books

cs c s s

of a story based on the short lm Between Us.as , css

s , s d

c -- s lSa

much of this time. The class were also provided

s sc

which D has used.

It was so boring there was so much trafc.

There was so much smoke comming out of the

exhaust pipe. As I opened the window I couldsmell nasty petrol and cigaretz, It was cold

outside and I could hear loads of horns like

people were swearin at each other. The rain

made me feel stuffy.

C

the morning suns light struggled to break

throught the thick huddle of grey clouds. Below

on the motorway you could hear the roaringsound of the car engine. On the long motorway

you can hear beeping. I can feel the rain driping

in my arms.

D

ts s qs cs

inuencing this lack of stamina. C had expressed

s :

h ss i

sc?

i s, s c

the students had was thirty minutes.

ws s ss

x cs?

ws i s, s,

their creativity with objective driven pre-

ss ?

ex t e n d e d wr i t i n g le s s o n s

At some point during the projects rst meeting

x sss s

forward. Given the boys struggle with time and

sc ss, i ssswhich would overcome these problems. The

css s ccs

reading lessons and seemed to enjoy the

regularity and independence that these brought.

t css , sc

the rst ten minutes, and then spend the rest of

the lesson reading.

i s c

s ss s

c s s s

ss c c

with. I decided that I would designate one period a

sc ss,

rules to accompany these. These were:

There would be no talking. Like a reading

ss, q s c,

ss, q

take place.

Ss sc s

the end of the lesson.

Rafe tickets would be distributed to

students who worked well. At the end of

ss

chocolate as the prize.

Qss ss

limited to the start of the lesson. I

c ss c,

c cs

checking if they were getting it right.

For the reason above, I wouldnt check

s

working.

Cssc sc s s

wrote.

Ss c

wanted (story, report, blog, poem


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13


anything!) as long as it somehow related

to the topic/s for that lesson (the rst

topics were War and The First Day

based on the novel were reading in

class).

i cc ss

ss

c s x

writing lesson.

Exee wriig lessos wh

app

The rst lesson was an undoubted success

in regards to its execution. Despite my feeling

s ss -

the day, the classs behaviour was impeccable and

s s s

of writing.

D almost lled a complete A4 sheet of writing

with a rather dramatic story about his rst day

of school. C produced a rap about the rst day

sc: w s,

cafes.

e s sccss i

the point of marking. At this point, I realised for the

ss sccss i -

one pieces of writing each fortnight. This became

q sc i

spent marking the rst round. On Cs piece alone

I took at least fteen minutes deliberating over my

comments and ended up lling the remaining half

of the A4 page he had written on.

f, sc

, i c s c j

Hickman, our mentor in the project. He pointed out

two things to me: rstly that in trying to develop the

students independence in regards to their writing,

s css c ss

s , qs cs

could be used to help elicit the students own

s ss sss

writing. Secondly, I could lessen my burden by

restricting the space I used to write my comments.

w scss s ,

i c c i s

students second round of writing (see appendix

1). This proved to be an asset to the lessons. Not

ss s ,

s ss s

chronological record of each others musings onthe writing taking place.

Perhaps a point of interest thats worth discussing

s s c

a certain element of ceremony. When I decided

ss, i s cc

s c , s

might effect the students behaviour. Perhaps

s s, i s ssc sc

, s i ss c sc ,

s cs

reecting. This meant that I would plan the lessons

s

beginning of the lesson. I knew that being Year

7s, the students would have difculty not talking

s , s i

s ss

s cs

s csswas settled and silent. Again, my main aim in

doing this was ensuring that students wouldnt be

distracted while they were reading the comments.

h, j c s ss

he noticed another interesting effect this had.

m ss s

ss c ss, s

c ss, s s

ss c c

more. This point of the lesson had become almostxc ss, s s

for them to look forward to the lesson.

a s , ss

seemed to be a success. The kids were enjoying

sss; s-s s s

;

been taken care of. It was time to shift the focus

c s s

lesson format in the rst place.


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14

CaSE Study 1 C

C s ss ss

he seemed to enjoy the lessons. However the

sss

wrote poetry or raps. This was frustrating in the

ss s

what he was capable of as a writer. My reection

on his rst piece of work had focused on his

s c, s s c

understood the errors he was making. Beyond

s , cs s

cs cx c

something other than poetry. Interestingly, in one

s s C s

poetry because it usually meant that he didnt

s c s s

story for example. In his mind, poetry involved

careful consideration (particularly when thinking

about rhymes) but didnt require length.

To me, Cs insistence on writing poetry seemed

s s, s i s

stopped him from developing as a writer. However,

upon reection I realise that the writing lesson andmy tracking of him did have a positive impact. For

the rst time all year, C appeared to be genuinely

engaged with his work. He enjoyed the writing

lessons and he was proud of his work. Whenever

i ss s s s

i s , s

of feedback. And even though I found it difcult to

c s , i s

s s scs s , s

s s c s towards English. I feel perhaps that if the lessons

s ,

x C s

, s s

poetry.

Cs nal piece of work allowed me to question

his understanding of audience and purpose. He

c ss

lessons theme, revenge.

All of you people are wasting your time,

running around and starting crime,

If you hate someone dont mean you have to

shoot your Hater,

you know your Brain is much more greater,

stop the guns if you want to breath with your

lungs,

Your more likely to get stabbed if your carrying

a knife,

It will take away your life, That means no job,

no money,

no wife, unless you run away your more likely

to survive,your meant to be home an hour ago But you

never arrive,

your mum gets worried she calls the cops,

every bodys

shouts his heart beat stops, he is dead, they

reveal his body

bleeding in a hospital bed. He had his death his

head got slayed

off like Macbeath


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15


CaSE Study 2 d

d, C, s ss ss

sss s es

something to look forward to. Prior to these

sss s s d s

ss , s

one lesson was little more than four lines. Clearly,

cc

css d s s

expressed in interviews. It also evident in the

increase in length of his writing.

Ds last piece of work entitled Revenge At

Teachers!!!! was a narrative he wrote in responseto, again, the theme of revenge. As the following

extract shows, while the work wasnt of the highest

quality, in just two lessons D was able to write

a4 s,

s

scs s

structure and paragraphs. Previously his writing

s s sc

dialogue about it, or intervention from me.

Once there was a group of boys called the

Revengers. And they do lots of stuff they

revenge on people. And may be teachers

asswell. They were the only boys that can

reveng. People they picture of them stick it

up on the wall. On the middle of the night

the group join together to look on teachers.

They get inside school. They be spies and

look for the teacher and see what they do

or rob something. They have all there spiesequipment. So they are all around to start

3 2 1 go go go. The revengers get in with

a big action. Every thing when bang and

broken.

the imporce of feebck

l C, d s s

guarantee of regular feedback. On his second

c ,

Teachers Comment at the bottom of his work,

encouraging me to write something.

h, s s ss c

this feedback, D didnt seem to benet from it the

s C , s s

to. D struggled with responding to prompts and I

feel as though written comments werent enough

to help him reect on his writing. For example, s c w

an interesting ending for the reader?, D wrote,

I will have a good ending to my story. And to

Why do we need paragraphs when we write?

he responded, ill make about two paragraphs.

After the third lesson D (and C) responded very

s c

after school and briey discussing his writing in

a one-on-one appointment. Although I did have

-- s s ss sss, s s cs

c c s

students were writing. Unfortunately, while the

boys expressed interest in them, I didnt organise

the after-school appointments perhaps its only

now on reection that I realise how benecial they

c ss d

c x s s qc

cs s

can progress in their learning. This is something

Im determined to try next year with my new

classes.

i s s d

wasnt making the progress he may have been

capable of, this didnt effect his enthusiasm

towards the lessons. At the end of each lesson, D

always reected positively:

I enjoyed the writting this lessons and ss

punctuation.

i s ss cs c

music and I can cosatrate with m work.

I liked it and i was joing very well what i

need to write i can image it.


18/70


16

the IMPACt on

the ClAss As A

whole

Importantly, the benets from these lessons were

s C d, s

positive impact on the rest of the class. The class

s s s s

ss cc s

met with a collective groan. And, like D and C,

students who normally wouldnt write very much

c s , ssof their ability. In fact, ability seemed to be non-

issue for the students. Perhaps the freedom of

s s s

c ,

s c s ss

enjoyment, not to please the teacher. At one point

i s ss q

s , s

never became a point of interest. What particularly

s s ss

talented students in these lessons. I often feel this

s i c,

sss ss

, g&t ss s

to benet from the comments and reection more

than any of the other students in the class.

t s s

particular benet in allowing me to give highly

personalised comments to students. Prior tos , c i

ss c s

, s c s c

as the questioning used in writing lessons. Unlike

s, c s cs

students, questioning required more reection

on the students part for areas to improve. It was

this reection that put the topic at the front of the

students minds while they continued to write.

ps s s qss x s

of their writing. To one student, Sha, who was

s -ss, i s:

d s -ss

everywhere you should be?

Sha touched on this in his response:

i i s

more full-stops.

i s c s s -ss

s s s

continued to write.

as c s c

s, qs s sc

students understanding of particular aspects of

their writing. Another student, Janet, was making

unnecessary use of apostrophes. When I asked

s s s , s c: o

yeh I use a () because its easier to read because

it looks like one word! Whereas a target wouldnt

j cc c c,

ss qs c s

didnt have sound understanding of apostrophes, s c ss

continued dialogue.

Qs s

ss s s s

academic progress. Milan, a student who was

css s qss

ss c s

c: i s c s

cs s

stop or capital leters.

Students use of questioning also proved

benecial for me in helping them to progress. One

of my rst comments on Justines story (one of my

G&T students) focused on the idea of verb tense.

S c :

Thankyou for the comment Mr McHugh.

What does verb tense mean?


19/70

17


i ss, i c s xs

s s s, s

:

o, S, i s s

means now. And I like giving descriptions!

i s s q sss

marking the kids folders such a pleasure. Another

g&t s, d, cs

s :

I went ne with new great ideas this time.

Cant wait till next writing lesson. I love it!

(Responding to my comparison of his writing tothe style of an episodic TV series):

I think it is a good thing. Also I made up a

theme tune for it! IT RYHMES!!!

It went ne and Thomas got a robot arm.

AWESOME!!!

t c i s s

ss s -- i c

s, ss s c c s

sc cs

way. For many students, I touched on simple

s sc s c

the technical accuracy of their writing. However,

g&t ss, i s cs

cx s, sc,

purpose and audience.

ConClusIon

f s c, s ss

being in the project, apart from feeling a closer

cc ss, s

scs c s c

s c x,

reected on. Too often I feel much of the effort I

s c s cs

results. In some ways, perhaps quite cynically,

teaching can feel like working in a factory. As

c s cs s

c s, css,

xs, css szs ss

curriculum objectives means that teaching turns

into something resembling a production line. We

cs s s

process and quality. Focusing on the two boys felt

s s css:

s,

s q c

than something which serves a purpose for data.

f , s s c s

completing the job with passion so that both

myself and the students can enjoy not just the

results, but the process as well.

t x s s sss

cs x

with them. Next year I plan to have a writing

lesson with all of my classes, both KS3 and KS4.

Im particularly interested in how this Year 7

groups enthusiasm towards writing might translate

kS4 csss , , s

s csss csof the exam. I would also like to experiment with

the format of the lessons. Can pair and group work

sss? h c i

q c scss

ss, s s ? ts

s qss c i ss

in the coming academic year.


20/70


18

Appendix 1


21/70

19

albany davieS, wanStead

A l b A n Y

d A v I e swaa sc

ov e r v i e w

This project was about struggling boy writers,

l 3 c

their potential. The idea was to identify two

ss y 7 y 8 css x

ways of supporting and motivating them. A by-c s x cs

ss c

about whole classes, to nd ways of integrating

any strategies developed into future teaching. The

project was investigative and we were encouraged

sc

s c s s

cs

have an impact on our boys.

CaSE Study 1 E

ra f ci

When I started the project E was working at

l 3 s s s

around writing was poor. E is a vocal character in

css s s s s

imaginative ideas. There was a clear gap betweenhis spoken ability and his writing. I wanted to focus

on E for the project, as he was clearly enthusiastic

xss s

s s s ss

within written tasks.

hs sss s

s s s ,

often a bit whacky and lacking any attempts to

use suitable vocabulary or structure. For example,he would create obscure scenarios for ctional

ccs x s sc s

John Boynes The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas.

h s s

cc s js c

s

strong London dialect without any punctuation. Atthe start of the project I conducted an interview

with him about his reading and writing. During

s , sc s s n

type of thing but he does read a lot of non-ction

such as Horrible Science. I thought it might be

interesting to see how this thirst for non-ction

c s css

particularly in the context of writing.

h s c sscs c cc

c

amount of effort so that it was out of the way. He

c c s

poor self-image and his views of his inadequacies.

Although he often expressed this in a jovial

manner (Ha, ha I know my spelling is bad Miss!),

i s s s c s

failure. This attitude was somewhat explained at

a Parents Evening where his mother expressed ss s

c s s s s s

has passed on to her son. Several weeks later,

s s s sc s

- !

e s xss s c

xs s

s sss x s

Primary School had not helped him. Research

s s emC

c c

struggling boy writer. I felt that his attitude towards

s c s cc ;

however, I wanted to focus more specically on his

self-perception and organisation. He is very willing

s i i c, ,

ss , cs

ss s c s

writing.


22/70


20

wa I a im aci

1. For E to have enough motivation to

c ss c

s

in his work.

E would regularly lose work and forget to

complete written homework. When I spoke

s

interview, he clearly felt that it was not very good.

t s cc

was getting it wrong especially when using

paragraphs, commas or when writing essays. I

s s

s s cc c s

about expressing ideas and developing skills.

ec c cs

c c s

be essential. This would ideally manifest itself

in an increased amount of class work and nal

assessed pieces of writing.

2. For E to organise his writing clearly and

appropriately.

e s c s sc

stories and exploring ideas within essays. His

s c

another without explanation or development. I

e s s

cs s

should go in. This would be in direct contrast to

s c s s

complete it or to simply ignore it.

i s

s

c cs s

s, s c s

self-image and motivation.

ps s

s c s

s s

thoughts. During the interviews, he did express

s sss s c cs s s,

Its your answer. It isnt right and it isnt wrong.

ts s ss

more freedom to express ideas (another theme

identied in research on what makes a difference

to boys). I have attached an example of a frame

that I had used with him in the past (see appendix1) and on reection, it is clear why he follows it

unquestioningly and does not challenge it. The

s s sc s s

and uncondent student to assume that it is the

onlyway to write the essay. I needed to nd an

alternative method of developing his skills. This

sc s

emC c ss

sc s c s

c sc c ss

independent ideas. I posed myself the question,

e?

w scss s cs,

c c :

frames often serve as evidence to other teaching

sss s c

c

students themselves. I wanted to move away froms cc c s cs

for my work with E in this project, to explore what

difference it might make to him.

eay ic

The following question from the student

c s s s

:

Q: w cs with ideas?

F: Asking a teacher gives you more ideas.

h s c ss p

One and Paragraph Two also helps

especially when beginning my sentences.

Throughout the year, the students

c ssss cs

work, each consolidating a unit of study.

e s s cs

s s, ss

simple indifference. This clearly indicates


23/70

21


s s

assessments.

His class book was messy and lacking in

organisation (see example in appendix

2). Writing was often left incomplete or s c l

Objectives over that of the work itself.

This made me realise that students in Es

s c s c

board, using it as a way of staying safe

within the classroom. I began to question

cc s ss

down the days objective. Realising this

c i

s css c ss

a pointless copying activity that caused

more harm that good. I felt that this linked

s

frames as proof of teacher support; was

I using L.O.s as proof that lessons were

? w s cs

parents checked students books so that

s ss

c s c ss s c

tackled the work.

My pa ii

In the light of my reections on E, the student

c

s , i c cs ss

improve his writing.

1. Using oral work (whole class, group andpaired) to develop appropriate ideas and

to prioritise information.

2. The use of rewards with specic emphasis

on oral praise and postcards home.

3. Implementing strategies to structure ideas

s sc

writing frames.

o , ss cs c

the question of writing frames.

in t e r v e n t i o n 1

Mrch 2008 the rs emp

t css s s

cc cc The Boyin the Striped Pyjamas. Everyone was provided

/ s

was made clear that this was optional. The rst

s c css css

discussion and mind map. The class was asked

to write up their work as a nal draft and submit

during the following week.

f s s s sccss

e s s s splan most of which were appropriate. Although

i s s e cs s xc

s i s x,

he did hit all the success criteria. Why did he

cs xc s c

c x? i ss

e

c s s c

was too much for him. In future work, I decided to

s s s : s

s e, sc

s s c

more able students in the class.

i s /s s, i

s i s c s s

the next step did not undermine his work so far.

When the rst draft was complete, I modelled

the process of proof-reading using his work. Es c c s

- s

c ! ts

c/ e

identied all the errors which he promptly altered.

He even began marking other peoples books!

The method clearly energised E as the cloak of

the teacher gave him the added condence to

make judgments that he would otherwise have

ignored or thought may be incorrect. He enjoyed c i s


24/70


22

factual/ opinion work that he claims cant be right

or wrong or where The answer is clear.

Unfortunately, E failed to complete his nal

s

the plan. When asked why, he avoided thequestion and dismissed it as forgetfulness. I

s s s

c cs

progress that he had made in the rst draft

stage. He did not appear to be able to make the

cc ss

an essay. Only when I warned that I would need

s , e cqsc

work was submitted. In addition, he had evidently

ss s c s -css

writing. This had a detrimental affect on accuracy.

w i s ss, s

c s s

s c s

til 10 oclock nishing that for you Miss. The nal

sc

on his second target: taking pride in his work. He

c s s c

of his work, but simply to avoid trouble. While this

s e c

opinion to make this nal push, I must admit that I

felt very disheartened by this end result. Initially, I

felt that I had given a lot of extra attention to E (to

the detriment of others?) but he seemed to have

s x ss

supportive and positive opportunity. However, I

cs s e

s s

my approval may be a reasonable rst step

towards nding his own motivation. On the ip

side, the former-school nerd within me nds it

ss

ss x s s

c ss s cs

they are quiet and get on with what is expected. I

felt that I needed to nd a way to encourage the

s s ss ssc

from completing work that doesnt revolve aroundthe teachers praise.

smmay

us sc

information for writing was successful.

Sccss - ss

developed. There was a need to continue

c s

accuracy.

w css

accuracy of his spelling etc. He obviously

cc -

in class with the nal write-up using a

computer.

S css s c c

work was needed. It is difcult to get the

balance correct. How can I use more able

ss s s css?

C sc s

feel successful.

p s/ ss

ss s

any independent improvement.


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23



april 2008 Seco ssessme

t ssss s s

ss sThe Boy is the Striped Pyjamas

children under 12 years old. The students

s

s ss

book is/is not suitable for under 12s. In class,

sc c sss

s s ys n cs

onto the IWB. Each student then had to

c sc

c c them of their argument. Using the feedback

on the IWB, each student had to select ve

s c

essay, based on their opinion and argument.

ts s s s-

s , S c

how to structure ideas (including counter

arguments), the class had to organise their

s- s c

writing frame.

As previous use of oral work had beneted E and

sc

I wished to continue this. However, the use of

s c

in his work so I decided to abandon their use.

t sccss c css s

inuenced by Es targets. E contributed well to

the class feedback of homework ideas. Once thes- s cs , s

had to justify their organisation. E had made one

potential error (counter-argument was his nal

s scsss s

be inappropriate in an argumentative essay).

When questioned, he identied this and moved it.

t ss s s- c

ss cs

they had to include: Point (post-it notes), Evidence

(quote or close reference), Link to the Question

(How this proves my argument). E was happy

s -s c

and completed the rst draft on time. We had

c s s sc

c c e s

reected this with it factual and scientic analysis

of the book.

Success! E handed in the nal draft on time and

to a good standard. It was typed and had a few

s s c s

work. I was surprised to see that he had moved

s c- back s s

s scss s

made him move it. This suggests that E moved it

within the rst draft without really understanding

why. I awarded the essay a secure level 4,c s s

assessment.

The whole class thoroughly enjoyed the new

css sc g

t ss

own ideas and express them with condence.

The project was inevitably having a positive effect

on the class and my overall teaching. This was

s sc s i

s sss cs s c

boys. Even GCSE and A Level classes I have

used this with have ourished whilst using this

approach to planning. This reafrms my belief that

teachers should be given more time for reective

study and build in time to study specic aspects of

tc l s

during their PGCE study. The pressures (and

excesses) of everyday teaching have inevitably

c cs

can dedicate to such work.

smmay

us sc

information for writing was successful.

o s s ss

ss s, es s

subject for this. How can we promote oral

css cc

s ss?


26/70


24

t c s

sccss ss sc

made students condent to experiment.

S css s s

e

responding well to increased condence

s s c, c s

consolidated through praise.

t s c c

s s ss

(factual, opinions etc). Will this continue

y 8 c?

t sc ssss e s

s s s s c

information (see Reasons for Selection) to

formulate his essay. The kinesthetic approach to

s s c css

and his sometimes haphazard approach to

writing. Surprisingly, the removal of writing frames

had a very benecial affect on the whole class

and all ranges of abilities. Even the more able

students beneted from the ability to branch out

, c

c cc c xideas. As this was done at the end of Year the

ss s ss

cc y 7

ss

to me.

It has undoubtedly affected my future teaching. I

-c

on writing frames for all ages and abilities. It has

c cs

sc

ccs s

enough. I denitely felt this way. However, we

cc s a l

ss sc ss

xc? ts s s css

-: ss

s

? e s c

ss s

know why.

CaSE Study 2 F

ra f ci

f s q s css s c css scsss

ss s 100% s cc

reluctant to complete written work of any form. His

sss c z, s

and often unrelated to the task at hand. Accuracy

is poor (sentence structures can be very confused,

s c s s cc,

punctuation is rare) and he is unwilling to proof-

read work that he has completed. During the

s s cc the project, he confessed to being Someone that

is lazy and doesnt put effort into work whilst

, s c ss

make me feel stupid. He had not expressed or

s s css s

covered it with a look of indifference and boredom.

ts s s

css lSa s c

naughty in most of his other classes. When she

s s s c, css s, f s sc mss ds

so he behaves for her. While initially a potentially

s ss, s

ss , sss s

, ss c

and tolerant teacher in his eyes. Obviously, this

needed to be addressed.

Fs feelings of frustration and stupidness about

spelling sheds some signicant light on his lackof motivation and effort. He also mentioned in

s c

s s x c s

i s s s

s i ?


27/70

25


f c ss cs

c cc /

or motivation. Discussions with other teachers

s s s s s

s

feedback on the matter. This is surprising asf c cs

motivation from his parents at home. During

s s, c s s

c s c

j as! h c

s c s s

writing.

I wanted to focus on F for this writing project as

ss rst few months of Year 7 yet he seemed to have

ss ss

x s s, s ccs

spelling.

b css , f s

c c

before. However, it soon became apparent that he

i s s

ss s s csss,

perhaps trying to cover up insecurities. This shows

s s css,

c s s

knowledge to his peers. I wanted to build upon this

during the period of the project.

Q: w ?

f: S s z, s

doesnt put effort into work. Doesnt do

homework.Q: i i s ss s

are doing writing what is the rst thing

cs ?

f: l Ss

whole term.

Q: w i s

s?

f: n c, i s ss

might be boring.

wa I a aci

1. For F to understand and focus on the task

s s c

work.

f s sc

s c c ,

whether it is a written task or not. This obviously

cs s cssc

c s

or studying a subject. I wanted to encourage F

ss s s

c s , c

assist him when engaging in specic tasks. If this

failed, I thought that the use of a Classroom Only

xcs s s

rst EMC project day would be a good idea. I

also wanted him to be more condent to ask for

s s

improve the appropriateness of his responses.

2. For F to begin to express his ideas

c

f - s ,

xs errors. He did not enjoy writing tasks and would

s s c s

minute without any consideration. This inevitably

resulted in a large number of errors. F often

s xss s s ss

thinking time and conversations with him were

s s s xss

himself without becoming muddled. I felt that this

needed to be addressed in order to inuence his

writing.


28/70


26

eay ic

His exercise book was messy, disjointed

and had a lot of incomplete work in it.

e s s

dates were neglected. There were manydoodles within the book.

t s sss ssss

pieces of work due to lost books or

homework, forgetfulness or indifference.

The LSA allocated to the class identied

cs s s

subjects outside of English especially

when completing written work.

My pa ii

Providing him with a Classroom Only

xcs s s

promote consistent class work. I would

c css, s

that nothing was lost.

tc - cqs

c

s c ss

m s s

c sc

his ideas.


Mrch 2008 the Firs aemp

t css s s

cc cc The Boyin the Striped Pyjamas. Everyone was provided

/ s

was made clear that this was optional. The rst

s c css css

discussion and mind map. The class was asked

s

week.

f s ss s c s

s sc cc c simagination. He decided to stick with the format

that I had given to him at rst but then made

small adjustments. His ideas were original and

appropriate although accuracy was very poor.

I repeated the teacher role play proof-reading

technique that I had used with E. F completed

- s ssc c s

get on with it. Evidently, he was unable to see

s

discussion. I asked him to ensure that he repeated

the task when he completed the work at home. He

was very keen to complete the work at home.

t s s s s

least one draft of his work. I felt very disappointed

c c ss s sss

to explain what had happened. F was given a

sc cs ss

lSa c s s

skills. We made it very clear what his targets

: s , s

accurately. These clear boundaries obviously had

s c s

s rstpiece of assessed work in Year 7. The

ssss s cc s c s c cs

worked hard at proof-reading within the classroom.

h, s ssss

c

punctuation etc. F seemed unable to connect

css sc

his independent work. At this point I wondered

ss s

c x

in the future.

t s ssss s s

cc x

s s c

his writing did. His interpretation of the character

s sc s s c

s ss s x

illustrate his points, for instance the Star of David.


29/70

27


smmay

t s -

ss s sccss

s ss s css

s c accuracy. It left me questioning how we

ss s s -

going skill? I think teachers modelling

cs - s q

consistently across the curriculum.

dc s css c s

c

c s

be needed.

p s/ ss

s

ss

would see any independent improvement.

The need to focus on students individual

ss, css c

s c i

s s

ss?


april 2008 Seco assessme

t ssss s s

ss s The Boy is the

Striped Pyjamas for children under 12 years old.

(For full details see page 23.)

Q: w s s

?

F: Essays. Its long. Takes an hour or

two just to do it. Its hard. You have to

count the words.

F denitely maintained this view of writing,

despite all planned interventions. However one

s s s

difference, the use of the book that didnt leave theclassroom.

Fs Classroom Only book meant that he nally

s c s

help him nalise his ideas for the activity. He

enjoyed collecting the book at the start of each

ss c s

css his book, had nally disappeared. This highlighted

ss s

adapting to Secondary school could benet from

this provision.

f , , s s-

s c s c s cs,

c, s s-s sc

peoples backs. He didnt understand why the

s s s s ss , c s

that of the LSA. This problem generated difcult

qss

s cs ss; s

c s

s, s ss ?

i s s f

c s css

to weigh up the benets. Due to the experimental

nature of the activity, I felt that I was unjustied s f s

point, as he was refusing to work. There were

outside factors inuencing his behaviour he

c xc s

closely monitored by his Head of Year. I felt that

f s x

i s s cc s

punishment. The research we looked at when at

emC ss s s c

sometimes benet purely from having attention s s

who cares, watching over what they are doing. In

the case of F, the opposite seemed to be the case.

h s

supportive.

He progressed very slowly and the nal draft

s s

encouragement. I felt annoyed with myself (and

rightly or not, with him) that he had not made asmuch progress as E. However, it does highlight


30/70


28

c s ss ss s s

below the average. It highlights for me the

cx ss s

boy writers and shows how individual the process

s s s

for another. It also made me think hard aboutc s s s

needs of the class.

smmay

The use of the Class Only book was the

i

s s c, s

f s s

s

x ss z s

ex s cs

sss s

students and not others. Individual

students prejudices can be hard to break

down, as was evidenced by Fs reluctance

c -

approach to essay planning.

dc s css c s

can be helpful, depending on the students

state of mind but this is also inuenced by

external factors and inuences, beyond

the individual classroom. How do we offer

s ss

s c ss

?

Motivation for F is a major difculty.

Making use of Fs artistic skills is often

s s

task. This could have contributed to his

reluctance to engage with it. But I wonder

if I can justify changing every task on

s ss? ts ss

would poorly equip him for future tasks.

This is a signicant dilemma in addressing

ss , s cs

of F.

f sc

level and this did not seem to upset him. I have

discovered a strange conict between my dislike

for students over-enthusiasm/ obsession for their

levels and others disregard for their academic

progress, like F.

i s c c s s cs

ss ss f

ss c s

s s

sure that over a long period of time (and with

changes of teacher) the student is developing fully,

rather than being allowed to remain unchallenged.

t s lSas s c c

when supporting F. I believe that the attention

from two separate teachers diluted his sense

s sss

s css ss

the role of the LSA very difcult. However simply

sc f s

c sss

sc s sc

his achievements in writing in English.

m s xcs f x s

unwillingness to work. In some ways, not

ss s s s s

c ss , s cx s

problems means that there is no quick x or easy

solution. Focusing attention on a student with such

cx s sss ss

from other students. This project has forced me to

ask myself the difcult question that if F had not

been targeted for this project, would I have been cc s

s?


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th e impAc t o F t h e pr o j e c t

t impac my ca

m css s s cs c

meant that time was a huge factor. It was difcult

to juggle he needs of the class and the focus of

the project. CPD and professional research is

s s, c

s s, s cs s cs

reecting on their work without it becoming a

chore. I am very grateful for the support of the

emC lSa

easier. Again, it highlights the need for teachers to

c scs

their support properly. I dont believe that teachers

s

in terms of outside resources such as the EMC.

Simple encouragement and objective ideas about

the issue was incredibly helpful. In my experience,

I think that a lot of teachers (especially recently

qualied teachers who feel the need to prove

their independence) can resist outside intervention

cs s s xcss sss

and workload of everyday teaching.

t s lSa s cagain, I dont feel that new teachers in particular

are taught how to use LSAs. I very rarely quiz

s ssss ss

in other classes why? Why shouldnt LSAs

be involved in CPD projects that help their own

understanding of the children and their inuence

? h lSa

day at EMC was one small step towards this. The

project has made me realise that I am wasting a

very useful resource.

Whs vle i wriig

ac, ppi a

mke jgemes o echers

w cs s ?

t s c c

ss ss s

of this becoming entirely associated with levels.

t c c cs of value on tests and levels but is this benecial?

This project focused on underachieving boys

3 s

s c s

xc ss

time. Therefore, how valuable is it to continually

s s s? ts s s , cc

ss - ss

improving their writing.

o sc s s s

sc s

cs s s

skill and interest in. E displayed a talent for non-

ction reading and when this was tapped into,

s s style. His essay had a distinctly scientic and

c s c cs

of the girls essays which had a much more

expansive and almost sentimental mood. As a

c, i ssss s

and what I consider to be the correct approach. I

s

c s cs

ss, sc f s

c sc-based learning.

f s s

judge us as teachers, for instance, Senior

Management or OFSTED. I found myself

ofSted c ss

ss

frame. Positive? Suspicious? Interestingly, through

scss emC cs i

qs sss

ofSted xc, c

c c S s

cc s minimum

sc ss c s,

than the maximum. The climate in which we

cc s sc s

ss, s c c

promotes this.


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the bees of he projec for m

whole clss echig

ps ss, cs s

s c c

whole class. For example, I asked the children tos ssss,

the intention of using E and Fs answers, and the

results were interesting. Three to four students

expressed confusion at the term proof-reading

s

meant or involved. It is easy to forget as an adult

- s s s

to develop. Many boys simply responded to the

grade (thanks for my good level) which is a pet

hate of mine and conrms the mixed benets ofconstantly referring to levels. Further investigation

c- s

to my own development as a professional.

f s d w

ss s afl c-

s

me.

He also highlighted the way that a lot of teachers

duties are made more difcult thanks to thepressure of appearing to be supportive and

fullling what are perceived to be the correct

responsibilities of a teacher. This links clearly

s cs s

frames as evidence of supporting our children.

Beig reecive prciioer

as c i scs

during the project that I know I will implement

s c c, c -c s

c ss-

on the fact that other more exible strategies

can be offered. However, from the perspective

ss i cs , i

c css ss

c

writing frames (as I was) and then the class will

s ss

developed with me. I feel very strongly that I now

ss cc

encourage people to experiment as I have. The

scs c cs s

, , ssss

however make it difcult for everyone to reect

and improve their teaching. This is something

that stands in the way of teachers ability tobecome reective practitioners. I am hopeful that

sc, S ks,

teachers were involved in the Project, we will be

s s

c s s

strategies that seemed most useful.


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Ap p e n d i c e s

a ess how o pl or

cmpai f Pi Pip a

t lay f sa.t p p t l S

w s ?

w

ccs

sc?

pc s

particularly effective.

w s

?

pc

s s

sc s

onomatopoeia. How

s s

?

h c y ay

Ici

You will need an introduction. This will say what

a ballad is and what they try to do to the reader.

Introduce the poems that you will be studying.

pss sc ss:

A ballad is a poem that tells us .

I will be comparing the two poems ..

Firs prgrph:

Look at the moral behind The Pied Piper. Explain

what it is and how we can learn from it. Use a

quote to support your ideas.

Seco prgrph:

Look at The Lady of Shallot: what is the moral

c ?

pss sc ss:

I think the moral of the poem is . because.

The reader is warned that .

thir prgrph:

Look at the way that The Pied Piper uses

imagery to describe what is going on. You must

say WHY its effective. You may use this model to

:

P- The poet uses imagery to describe the .

E- We can see this in the line

e- ts s c cs s s c

the . And forces us to feel

Forh prgrph:

Look at the way that The Lady of Shallot uses

imagery to describe the events. You can use the

same model if you wish.

Appendix 1


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Fifh prgrph

l s s t

Pied Piper. For example, we have studied

onomatopoeia, repetition and emotive words. Pick

one of these and explain why it is good.

pss sc ss:

t ss sc

b s , ss s

..

Sixh prgrph

l s s t

Lady of Shallot. We looked at emotive words and

adjectives. Pick one of these and explain why it isgood.

pss sc ss

The poet describes the ? using adjectives.

ts s c cs c s

the

Cci

ts s s s

what you have learned from them.

us pee c :

Point is a statement that you must prove (The

ss s

us feel sorry for the character)

Evidence: this is a quote from the text (We can

see this in the line the distraught woman)

Explanation explains your idea- says how or why.

The word distraught is very strong and it makes

us realise that she is incredibly upset. This makes

us feel bad that she lost her true love.)


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Appendix 2a

Appendix 2b


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F A t I M A

C o n t e hFmy waa scCy Qii Kya, wmi

Aimt s s s

between the identication of boys perceiving

ss s sccss s c

of motivation towards writing.

t s s s cc,

s s s

writing.

stAge 1

d i A g n o s i n g t h e p r o b l e m s

Cse s 1 G

G is a lively character in class. He is very vocal

and imaginative in expressing his ideas orally.

The main issue that I identied in his writing was

s c s s

css scsss,

c s s s s,

if anything at all (appendices 1and 1b). He also

has poor handwriting and doesnt like the physical

process of writing. At the start of the academic

year (October 2007), before starting the project, I

s css c w pc

Survey (appendix 2). Some responses that stood

out are included here.

a c c

s sss, s c s

c s

c s lSa sc

the remainder of his responses for him. Before

s i

c s

cs s, s s

perfect case study.

Q: Do you enjoy writing? Why?/Why not?

G: No because I cant be bothered.

Q: Is there anything you dont like about

?

G: Yes I hate it is so boring.

Q: a ?

G: No

Q: C c

c ? w

s ?

G: No.

Q: w c

says: Today were going to do somewriting.?

G: Oh crap. I hate writing.

Cse s 2 H

h s c s g: s, ss

and very serious. The responses to the writing

perception survey didnt show a negative attitude

to writing but more the perception that he wasnt a

good writer. Another interesting thing I picked outwas his focus on levels. This immediately made

cs c

has in motivating boys to write. Some responses

that stood out are included here.

Q: a ?

H: Im not that a good a writer

Q: C c

c ? ws ?

H: Yes. I did a test and got a high level

mark in it.

Q: w c

says: Today were going to do some

writing?

H: I thought that I couldnt wait to nish it

to try to get a high level mark.

The main issue I had identied in his writing is

his struggle with structure. He has difculties in

shaping ideas, paragraphing and demarcation.


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fatima Conteh, wanStead

stAge 2

th e be g i n n i n g o F t h e

jo u r n e y

The rst meeting of the EMC TDA Writing project

s s s

s i cs

studies. Sharing knowledge and understanding

about the difculties of writing for struggling boys

cs s

case studies more focused.

p , i s - emC, c ss

factors identied as accounting for the poor

performance of boys in writing. There were several

s s ,

cs i c cc

s s

struggling with.

t ss s

s cc s; ss

sssss , s

g, s

substantial amount of writing to be produced. The

s s s

marginalised made a lot of sense; it encouraged

me to be more condent in focusing on the

process ss

their ideas more independently, rather than just

the outcome.

i s c s ICT to enhance boys writing interesting. Again,

c g, cs s

, -c -css

s

i c cs

: s s

of the physical process of writing.

ls, s

was also intriguing. The idea of boys perceiving s cs

s c ss

it is important to plan. I began thinking about the

cs i i c

css

students to independently nd strategies that suit

them best. The importance of avoiding over-csc c c c,

s cs

process.

a scss ccs

, i cc s

two case studies. This was videoed by the EMC

to help study the ndings closely. The following

sss s :

g

Q: w i ,

?

g: y cs

assessment..(on his handwriting)

Oh yeah its actually quite bad not

that good. Im not very good at writing.

My familys not very good at writing

neatly. Its got a bad reputation for

writing

h

Q: What are you not so good at or nd

cs?

h: pc cs,

put them. Nothing else. It makes my

grades go lower than they should be

Says he likes writing in maths: Its easier to

write than English. You have to think less about

it


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stAge 3

id e n t i F y i n g ne w st r At egi es

After reecting on what the students had said

s s s

s, x s s

strategies that I hadnt already tried, or wanted

to try in different ways. A follow-up meeting was

sc emC s, scss

reect ndings with the other teachers involved in

the project. Once more, it was very useful to share

ccs c c

cs ss the writing of the targeted boys in our studies.

digosis iiil sregies

g

ps: a s sc css

, s c

produce substantial pieces of writing.

Ss

Re-writing for display/presenting to

s

Model good handwriting

Use 2 books, one for notes and rough

work, the other for polished writing.

h

ps: a s sc s

ideas.

Ss Experiment with a variety of writing

s/s cs

Model proof-reading (highlighting

sentences that lack clarity)

Follow-up marking

b s c c s-s

, c s cc

and perhaps the most signicant problem to try toovercome.

stAge 4

An obser vAt i on lo g28.04.08

I spoke to G at the beginning o the lesson today

about the act that I would be monitoring the

amount o writing he produces at the end o

every lesson and that I would be ocussing on his

handwriting presentation. He accepted this act

and ocussed all through the lesson.

It was interesting watching him write as he had one

hand supporting his orehead and was ocussed

or the whole lesson.

At the end o the lesson he voluntarily came to show

me his book and I wrote an encouraging comment

at the bottom o the page and a target to ocus on

or the next lesson (appendix 5). It was interesting

to see how positively G responded to this extra

attention, and the eort he put in knowing that his

work would be immediately discussed at the end

o the lesson.

12.05.08

Having checked Gs book at the end o the lessonagain today, he is surprisingly still on track! He is

making a real eort to make his work neat and tidy

(appendix 6) .

13.05.08

I set up the end o unit assessment in todays

lesson. I usually give all the students a support

sheet to prompt ideas, and the weaker students

a writing rame to structure their writing/motivate

them to write.G would normally have been given a writing rame

and usually asks i he can ll in the gaps on the

worksheet as this means less writing. On this

occasion I only gave G the prompt sheet, which has

a list o questions to generate ideas. He surprisingly

wrote a lot more than usual and really got stuck in.

Giving him this independence really encouraged

him, as I made a point o telling him I didnt eel

he needed it because he had demonstrated a lot

o mature ideas about the novel we had been

studying. I explained that I wanted him to have

more reedom with his writing.


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fatima Conteh, wanStead

Perhaps writing rames are not as useul as we

think especially the guess what I want you

to write next ones, which appear to limit the

students in thinking or themselves (and in the

process rustrating them) rather than aiding the

composition process! This was a concern I hadduring the initial stages o the project, ater looking

at actors identied as accounting or the poor

perormance o boys in writing.

19.05.08

I had the opportunity to mark Gs and Hs end

o unit assessment with them during the lesson,

whilst other students were working. Both boys

had produced a signicant amount o writing in

the previous lesson.

G usually word processes his assessment piece

with an LSA as he lacks motivation to physically

write his ideas, so this piece o writing has been

a real achievement (see appendix 7a). Beore we

started going through his work he told me he was

eeling unwell and that he wanted to go to the

medical room an excuse he usually gives when

becoming tired o writing. I convinced him to stay

and he actually seemed to enjoy the dialogue we

were able to have and the attention he was given.

I marked the rst two paragraphs with him andgave him a pencil to mark the rest using the targets

I had given him, which he did very well. Again, this

highlighted the benets o giving extra attention to

struggling students: positive relationships, trusting

relationships are built.

H appeared to nd the dialogue we had about his

work helpul, as he has a problem with structuring

his ideas. I used the same process I used with G,

giving him targets to improve the rest o his work.

The other students accepted the act that I spent asignicant part o the lesson with the two boys and

ocussed on their work, as guided writing has been

regularly integrated into lessons.

Guided writing provides an additional supported

step towards independent writing. Through guided

writing, children are supported during the dierent

stages o the writing process. It allows the teacher

to work closely with a small number o students to

develop dierent areas o writing at a personalised

level.

20.05.08

Meeting with Albany and John Hickman was

really encouraging as it was a chance to really

refect on progress made. I eel that perhaps I am

ocusing more on G than I am on H however. It

was interesting looking back at the boys WritingPerception Survey responses G starts o stating

how much he hates writing and then towards

the end the LSA which supports the class had to

complete his responses or him!! Hs responses

reminded me that we really need to do more

creative writing. I plan to have un ater hal term

with a creative writing unit. It is important to ensure

that students enjoy writing and not only view

writing as something to be judged and assessed. I

cant wait in act I think I will join them and get

my creative juices fowing too!

Also, I ound out that G was sent home ill yesterday

ater my lesson. It wasnt an excuse ater all! I eel

slightly bad, however the act that he chose to

persevere in my lesson does say a lot. Perhaps it is

because o the attention given and the relationship

we have built throughout the year. Or maybe, just

maybe, he now loves writing so much he wanted

to stay to nish his piece!!!

9.06.08G volunteered to work in the library so that he could

ocus on re-drating his literature essay without

distraction. I have told him that he doesnt have to

re-write all o it, and that he should select his best

bits (I dont want to kill motivation to write as

pointed out by John in our last meeting). I gave

him a handwriting rame (a sheet o plain paper

with guidelines to help him orm his letters properly

see appendix 7b) , which has really helped his

presentation perhaps it is worth investing inexercise books which oer this support.

14.07.08

To ocus on Hs diculty with structure and his

diculties in shaping ideas, Michael Simons

rom EMC worked with him and another student

on Movie Power. This sotware oers the

opportunity or students to create short moving

image sequences, with scripted voice-over. The

genre the pair ocussed on was documentary,

combining movie clips and a script reporting on

the environment (see appendix 8)


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Watching the video clip was very interesting. The

ollowing observations were made:

H is a little less passive than usual, but still appears

to need prompting or modelling o how to drat

ideas. He appears to lean back in his seat at times

and put his head in his hand happy or X (not parto case study) to take the lead. H has to invite him to

negotiate his ideas/write ideas down. Perhaps I am

reading too much into this, but his body language

suggests that the task o having to structure ideas

is too much to handle. It is only when X begins to

break the sections down/suggest possible ideas or

them to negotiate that he appears more relaxed.

Post-its spring to mind, as perhaps an eective tool

to help a student like H structure ideas oering

limited space to write and the option to move ideasaround. Also, it is interesting that when H is typing,

he accepts exactly what X dictates he should type,

however, when X is typing, he re-drats their initial

ideas beore noting down their nal script. This is

interesting as H tends to write exactly what pops

into his head he doesnt appear to stop and edit

his thoughts to make them clear. This I believe to be

part o the problem preventing H rom struct

Teaching Boy Writers

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