TAVY DISTRICT U3A NEWSLETTER

Issue No 100 November 2019

OUR 100th U3A NEWSLETTER

Self help means that we organise ourselves in

to learning circles, or groups, covering as wide

a range of interests as we wish. Tavy District

U3A has more than 50 groups so we are

certainly achieving that. However, many groups

are full and unable to accept new members.

This is an on-going problem that your committee

cannot solve on its own. The principle goes on

to remind us that groups are organised by the

members for the members, that no qualifications

are required and that we are learning for the

pure pleasure of learning. There is no distinction

between the learners and the “teachers”. We all

learn from one another. So if the group you

would like to join is full, consider forming a new

group. The group co-ordinator, Pippa Gardner,

will help you to get started and existing leaders

of full groups should consider encouraging and

supporting the development of “daughter”

groups to make their topic available to more

members.

Each U3A is a mutual aid organisation, and a

charity in its own right, confederated to the Third

Age Trust and adhering to its principles.

Members give their services to their U3A

voluntarily and are not paid. This includes,

among others, committee members and group

leaders. Our U3A is self-funded and we keep

our membership fees as low as possible so that

it is affordable for all. We do not seek financial

assistance from outside bodies. We can only do

all of this, and provide the range of activities that

we do, if members get involved and offer their

services.

Tavy District U3A is your U3A. It relies on

members helping one another to achieve its

aims of promoting life long learning,

companionship and fun. To borrow a well known

saying from JFK: Ask not what the U3A can do

for you; ask what you can do for your U3A.

I look forward to seeing as many of you as

possible at our next speaker meeting on the 6th

November.

Paul

Message From the Chair

This is Tavy District U3A’s 100th newsletter. On your behalf I want to say thank you to our newsletter editor, John Noblet, for consistently producing such an interesting and professional publication. I have seen a number of other groups’ newsletters and few, if any, match ours for presentation and content. John’s dedication, conscientiousness and skill are to be greatly admired and valued. The newsletter is a remarkable achievement and John is to be heartily congratulated. I will call for a round of applause at our next Wednesday meeting.

The newsletter’s continuing success depends

on group leaders and members providing John

with material for inclusion. Whenever you take

part in a U3A activity please think about writing

a short text and taking a few photographs to

include in the newsletter or post on our website.

If you take pictures that include members you

must ask them if they are happy for their images

to be published. In these days of enhanced data

protection it is important that people be given

the chance to refuse. Those who do not want to

appear in a photograph can then step outside of

the frame before the shutter release is pressed.

Your committee is happy that verbal consent is

sufficient. Hilary O’Neill, who looks after our

website, is going to delete historical

photographs where we cannot be certain that

verbal consent was granted. In future it will

assumed that all members depicted in new

photographs offered for publication will have

given their consent. I’m sorry if this sounds

officious and politically correct but having

studied the General Data Protection

Regulations your committee believes this to be

the correct way forward.

On a different subject I was recently reminded

of the guiding principles underpinning the U3A

movement. These are the “Third Age Principle”,

the “Self Help Principle” and the “Mutual Aid

Principle”. I will not dwell on the Third Age

principle, which refers to the eligibility criteria for

joining U3A, but I would like to reflect on the

other two.

100 Newsletters

This is our 100th Newsletter and we thought such a milestone in the story that is

Tavy District U3A should not pass unnoticed.

Nostalgia may be a thing of the past but you must have noticed that this edition is

produced in the style of our very early newsletters. They were so long ago, that

John Noblet was not even the editor back then!

Issue 1 was in November 2002 when it was a single page and our membership

stood at 53 and annual subs stood at £11.00. Amazing to think that it costs only

£15.00 now, seventeen years later, and we have a membership of over 400.

Issue 2 was a single sheet of paper but now double sided.

Issue 8 in February 2004 had the first photo. That was of the Bridge group playing

in the Mayor’s Parlour when Norma Woodcock was Mayor.

Issue 15 saw the first article other than an editorial by the Chair or various notices

of speakers or dates. It was written by Ivor Williams (who also has an article in

this Newsletter).

Issue 34 in June 2008 saw John Noblet take over as editor and the number of

pages increased to three.

Our 40th issue was celebrated in June 2009.

The style changed to a more modern format from issue 44.

The 50th issue passed unnoticed in March 2010 but was 12 pages.

Listing of the Group diary dates and leader’s contact details were dropped from

issue 71 (because of difficulties in keeping the information up to date).

Issue 74 saw the first full page photo on the cover.

Issue 81 in September 2016 had the first colour cover (with a photo of the Man

Engine when it visited Tavistock).

January 2017 saw the change to full colour and 20 pages.

Thanks to Mary Brock for loaning me some of her copies of early Newsletters. A

few covers of these are reproduced in the centre pages of this newsletter. The

originals must be worth a fortune on eBay now.

John Noblet

It was rather hoped that this would be a bumper Newsletter, the 100th edition and

the last of 2019. Sadly this was not to be and the Newsletter can only be as good

as the contributions sent. Thanks to all who have done so and perhaps an early

New Year’s resolution might be to write an article, however short, or send a photo

for the January 2020 issue. (which will be back to the colour format of the last few

years).

The Heritage & Historic Houses of Sussex

Thirty-one of us departed from Tavistock to travel to Sussex on the Friday morning. We had a full itinerary with a stop en route to our hotel in Eastbourne at Petworth House. The house holds the National Trust’s largest collection of pictures including works by Turner, Van Dyck, Reynolds and Blake. Charleston House was our next port of call on the Saturday morning. We had a very good guided tour of this Arts and Crafts property which was the home of artists Duncan Grant and Vanessa Bell. Charleston became the country meeting place for writers, painters and intellectuals known as the Bloomsbury Group. The interior of the property was unique, many of the surfaces having been painted in their own decorative style. We were told about the complicated relationships within the group and following the guided tour around each of the rooms, we went out into the garden to explore. It was glorious. Such a variety of colour with the plants growing in profusion. Charleston was a joy to visit and the memory of both the house and garden will stay with us all. Beachy Head was our next stop that day with Mark, our coach driver, suggesting we also visit the National Trust stop at Beachy Head. This suggestion proved excellent as we had a good view of the Head itself to our left and the chalk cliffs stretching along to our right. We were then driven to Beachy Head itself. Rye was our outing for Sunday, where we had a two hour guided walk with the Town Crier in full uniform leading us around. He was a font of knowledge and regaled us with tales of witches, smugglers and the like. We were able to visit Rye’s Grade II listed 18th century town hall with its infamous gibbet cage and murderer’s skull.

Lewes was our port of call for Monday where we were met by two guides, split into two groups taken to see the castle, told about the battles that had taken place and shown various other notable buildings. Lunch was in Lewes before we boarded the coach and headed off to Bateman’s, a 17th century manor house, the home of Rudyard Kipling from 1920 to 1936. Most of the rooms in the property were displayed with artefacts much as Kipling left them. Kipling enjoyed Bateman’s where he could enjoy family life and the property in the Sussex Weald provided him with a tranquil sanctuary. Tuesday dawned, this being the last day of our holiday. En route back to Devon we visited Polesden Lacey. The walk down to the house from the entrance to the estate is wonderful; the view across the park superb. Some of our group visited the house, where the guide spoke regarding the history of the family; we were also told about the history of various items on show. The house contains a collection of Dutch Old Master paintings, together with a collection of both Chinese and European ceramics, majolica and silverware. Others from the group visited the gardens where they had a guide talking to them about different aspects of the garden. The Rose Garden, Lavender Garden and Herbaceous Border were impressive and much praised by all. The estate’s 1,400 acres comprise part of the Surrey Hills Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty. After visiting the café for yet another cake and cup of tea/coffee! we boarded the coach for the final leg of our journey back to Tavistock. Thanks to the organisers for a very successful and enjoyable few days in Sussex. Liz Purcell

The deadline for the next Newsletter is 20th December. Save the mince pies

until after you have sent your contribution to

johnnoblet@tavydistrictu3a.org.uk

Life Skills

Are you finding life today getting more and troublesome for so many people? Young children seem to have so many problems, schooling, gender problems and bullying etc. It seems normal life that our own family members are stressed from all that goes on in their lives. How do we cope with it? How do we "be there" for those going through difficult periods in their lives. How can we talk to someone who is overcome by the death of a relative or friend?

If you would find it useful to learn some skills then I can help you. I trained as a Counsellor at Plymouth University and worked for some years for Relate. In the four sessions I am planning you will not become a Counsellor but will feel much more able to be of help in these difficult situations.

It will be more beneficial to you if we meet weekly starting Friday November 22nd, then Nov. 29th, Dec.6th and 13th.

Linda Elliott

German Group 1 We have been together as a group for a very long time, so we are very sad that we will not be together as a U3A group any longer. Renate who has been so patient and helpful is moving to be nearer her daughter. We do hope to meet up with her from time to time to continue to speak German . We thought a walk would be a good thing to do to celebrate our being a group for so long. Dartmoor Rescue were holding a charity walk so we signed up for the shorter version, (not the 11 Tor challenge) We will miss Renate so much. We have had great fun together, learned some German, gone on holiday and even got a little drunk together. Thank you so much Renate and good luck with all you do in the future. Caroline Lorenzi

Current Affairs Group

Criminal upskirting, prostitutes on the NHS, delivery robots from Amazon/food takeaways. Hmm. Bet you weren’t expecting those topics from our Discussion Group.

Nor were we! 😯 More usually, it’s Brexit inside

and out (please spare us any more), the Russian influence on the rest of the world, Fracking, NHS nurses paying to be trained, the Ofsted grading system, Cyber Security. All of these have been discussed at length too. But what our group does is allow individuals to bring anything along for discussion, allowing us to give our opinion and/or present a wider view of the issues. We’re up for anything. And we learn. No heated discussions. No unwavering opinions. Just us sitting on Caroline’s sofas telling it as we see it. Perfect. Did someone mention a democratic society? Yay! Shirley Smith

U3A Wine Appreciation 2

Cheers! wine lovers Chris and Tony Rose welcomed us to their beautiful home and had selected a range of wines around a theme. That started the guessing but we then blind tasted 6 wines, all very different in character, and the guessing continued. It was a most enjoyable afternoon finished off by some cheese and a special bottle of white port, that Tony and Chris had saved for a special occasion. That was very generous. They revealed that their chosen wines were all from Portugal, purchased from the Wine Society. We chatted about our plans for the future. We want to be an open group welcoming any U3A member who would like to join the group. Each event will be open to the first 12 members who respond to the informatory Email, but we may in future organise group visits to vineyards hopefully using coach transport. Sheila Naybour

The Lost Gardens of Heligan

Our group visit, by coach, to these gardens on the 21st September was a wonderful experience. Although the weather was changeable it did not spoil the collective enjoyment. The one and only downpour happened whilst we were all under cover listening to a talk given by one of the official guides.

Originally the Heligan estate was established over 400 years ago, when it was owned by the Tremayne family, but today it is much smaller down to about 200 acres, but nevertheless needs quite a lot of hard work done to maintain it to its very high standard. These gardens, and the surrounding fields, valleys, lakes and farm areas were brought back to life in the 1990’s by Tim Smit (now Sir Tim Smit KBE ) who had been introduced to the estate by John Willis, a descendant of the Tremayne family,and John Nelson. They could see the potential in bringing it all back to its original splendour, and Tim Smit was smitten with the task and it became his future work. He also developed the Eden Project.

Its demise had been caused by the First Great War when patriotism drove thirteen of the gardens work force to volunteer to fight, but unfortunately nine lost their lives so that following the war years of neglect and the ensuing depression the estate fell into disuse. Heligan House was used as a convalescent hospital for wounded soldiers during and shortly after the war.

Upon entering the estate and passing the large restaurant, the first impression was one of walking through a dense forest. Even the atmosphere had that jungle feeling, particularly when proceeding down the “Woodland Walk” where there were dozens of giant North American Redwood trees all standing in rows like soldiers on parade, and then on to the “Jungle” created down a valley with quite steep pathways. All very impressive.

The Garden area, which was only a small part of the whole estate contained the “Kitchen Garden” where there were areas for the propagation of all types of vegetables, beds of flowers which provided a great splash of colour with a lovely scent too.

The remainder of the estate consisting of open areas with good views, hidden valleys where one can stumble upon a “ Giants Head” peeping out from behind foliage, or a “Grey Lady” formed from trimmed bushes, and small ponds almost completely hidden among more trees.

There is a sawmill and a workshop, and close by the Stewards House and a short distance away fields containing rare breeds of sheep, goats and geese, but by this time the visitor realises that walking becomes more difficult due to the undulations of the pathways, but if one is lucky the views and interest of the whole place makes one forget those tired feet.

Finally, in part of the garden called “Flora’s Green” there is a collection of Camellias and Rhododendrons, some dating back to the 1790’s where some have grown so large that the branches are as big as some tree trunks and have become so heavy that they have dropped down to the soil and rerooted again producing more bushes. It was strangely eerie walking among that jumble of twisted branches.

I am sure that everyone enjoyed that day at Heligan, and thanks should go to the organisers, namely Janet Hunt and Norma Woodcock.

Philip Cazaly.

Concert in the Church

The Recorder Group will be giving a concert in St Eustachius’ Church on Thursday 5th December at 11.00am.

This will form part of the Christmas Tree Festival, so you can either sit and listen or stroll round and enjoy the Christmas trees while we play. Music will span a wide variety of styles, from Renaissance and Baroque to 20th century and jazz.

There is no charge for the concert but you will have to pay the normal entry fee for the Christmas Tree Festival.

Elephants and Eliots

In the words of Kyle Minogue (!) I wonder why "I should be so lucky". Since joining the U3A five years ago, I have enjoyed several tours of local areas led by Jane, our favourite Blue Badge guide, each one being informative and totally absorbing. Our recent tour of St. Germans ticked all the usual boxes, especially excellent.

The day was marred a little by the grey wet

weather initially, but not for long as the company

and interesting "walk and talk" lifted our spirits.

We met at St. Germans railway station. It was

built in 1859 and is the oldest preserved station

building in Cornwall - now available for a holiday

let, as is the nearby Victorian railway carriage!

St. Germans was a small fishing port until 19th

century and expanded with the advent of the

railway, being at the west end of the St Germans

viaduct, a 13 arched stone-built crossing of the

River Tiddy. The viaduct is one of the 43 built by

Brunel, for the line to run 62 miles from Saltash

to Penzance - interestingly converted from

broad to narrow gauge in 1892, over a period of

24 hours! The port used to trade coal and

limestone and up until WW2 was still being used

to bring in road stone.

From AD 931, St. Germans had a Cathedral up

until the 19th century, at which time Truro

became the seat of the Bishop of Cornwall. The

Augustine Priory of the 12th C fell into disrepair

after the Reformation, until the buildings and

land were bought by the Eliot family in 16th

century and renamed Port Eliot.

The family invested in the impressive church buildings, which nowadays are well maintained by the community, having lovely William Morris windows, a re-claimed 4th century font and retaining one of the finest examples of Norman architecture at the West door. It also has an imposing Lych gate where the departed lay overnight prior to being interred.

The beautiful house of Port Eliot was their family home continuously until 2016. When Peregrine 10th Earl of St. Germans died, it became necessary to gift the house and 6,000 acre estate to the nation to cover death duties and is at present held in trust for 11th Earl, who is 15 years old. In recent years, some income has been generated by the Port Eliot festival but unfortunately the house is not open to the public at present.

The Eliot family have been prominent in St. Germans since they chose to live there in 16th century. In 1563, St. Germans was created a Parliamentary borough, being represented by the Earl of St Germans, and in spite of a population of only 2,400 in the Parish and only 247 males eligible to vote, managed to have two Parliamentary seats, whereas the city of Birmingham had none - thus becoming known as one of the Rotten Burroughs. In 1832, St. Germans lost both the seats in the Commons in one of the narrowest votes of the Reform Bill.

At lunch time we rested our bodies and brains .

Some sought the warm hospitality of the Eliot

Arms and the company of hundreds of

elephants, others chose the company of more

illustrious souls in the peaceful surroundings of

the Lych gate.

After lunch, we looked at the lovely estate

cottages and buildings around the village,

finishing with the spectacular almshouses " The

Galleries" built in 1583. In spite of "interest"

being voiced in these "des res", the obvious

answer of Waiting List dashed our hopes.

This report would be incomplete without a very

sincere thank you to the splendid, hard working

Social committee - where are we going next?

Liz Hough

Theatre News

We continue to offer tickets from the Theatre Royal but recently I was contacted by

Laughable Entertainment (you can look on their website at www.laughablecomedy.com),

who set up dates for well-known personalities/comedians to visit this part of the world. They

perform in the Red House Theatre at the School of Creative Arts in Plymouth and in

Launceston Town Hall.

I have reserved seats (unallocated, rather like The Drum) for the following shows;

Michael Portillo ‘Life – a game of two halves’. Tuesday 10 December 7.30 at Launceston

Town Hall. £19.25. Deadline November U3A meeting.

Gyles Brandreth Sunday 26 April 3pm at Launceston Town hall. £22.

Generally these performances are in the evening and I understand transport could be a

problem for some. For a few shows I will gauge the response and sort car sharing, so the

signing up form is different – please fill in all the sections. I will also have maps so you can

see where to park, it will not be as easy as going to the Theatre Royal but I am sure we will

manage it successfully!

Other news

Tickets to collect - We will Rock you, Mousetrap, Mamma Mia! and Griff Rhys-Jones

You will need to pay for Priscilla Queen of the Desert and An Inspector Calls tickets at

the November meeting

Here is the full list of shows on offer;

Michael Portillo ‘Life – a game of two halves’. Tuesday 10 December 7.30 at

Launceston Town Hall. £19.25. Deadline November U3A meeting

Priscilla Queen of the Desert on Thursday 23 January 2020 2.30. Circle row B £36. Deadline November meeting.

Acosta Danza Revolution Friday 27 March 2020 7.30. Tickets in circle rows A, B and D £35. Deadline January ’20 meeting.

The Marriage of Figaro on Wednesday 15 April 7pm. Tickets in circle row B and C £54. Deadline January ’20 meeting.

Gyles Brandreth Sunday 26 April 3pm at Launceston Town hall. £22. Please remember you can always send me a cheque payable to Tavy District U3A to 6

Hessary View Tavistock PL19 0EZ if you are not going to be at the deadline meeting, and

you can always pay in advance of the deadline.

The Theatre Group send congratulations to John Noblet on his 100th edition of the

Newsletter.

Janet Hunt 613088 janle.hunt47@gmail.com

The deadline for the next Newsletter, which will be back to the more

usual colour format, is 20th December.

Please send any contributions to johnnoblet@tavydistrictu3a.org.uk

Walks

Tuesday 12th November

Walking some of the Tamar trails. 5 miles. Please bring a drink and either a snack or lunch. Diana

Tuesday 19th November

Walk from Plym Bridge through the autumn woods

on old tramways, railways and riverside paths.

7 miles. John

Thursday 28th November Walk from Pound Junction to the Garden House and enjoy the Autumn colour on the public footpath which runs through the garden. Return to the Long Ash Cafe for coffee/lunch. Easy walking, maybe a little muddy in parts. 4-5 mls. Chris and Jennie Thursday 19th December

Walkers Stroll and Christmas Lunch

A gentle stroll from Yelverton Golf Club on the

edge of Roborough Down (about 4 miles) and

back for lunch at 1.00pm

Pre booking essential and numbers limited. Menus

will be circulated to those interested. Deposit of

£5pp required to secure your place. Cash to

Jennie at the U3A meeting on November 6th. If

you won’t be there, reserve your place by phoning

Jennie on 01822 854792

Events

Thursday 7th November Guided walk round Barbican and Sutton Harbour. Meet Mayflower Steps at 11.00 am. Tuesday 12th November Skittles at the Blacksmith’s Arms, Lamerton followed by optional lunch. Meet at 11.00 am. Tuesday 10th December Skittles (as above)

National Trust Visit

The next outing will be to Cotehele House on

Friday 15th November.

They will be putting the finishing touches to the

garland. Come and see how it is “built”.

Meet at Tavistock bus station for the 10.20 bus to

Calstock. A pleasant walk alongside the River

Tamar (about 1½ miles) to the house.

Time to see the garland, have a coffee or lunch

and stroll back.

“At The Bar”, a sculpture photographed by Rod Taylor at the

Delamore House sculpture exhibition in May

Playreading Group 2

I write after a hilarious afternoon reading Noises

Off – a farce by Michael Frayn. This was a bit

ambitious as the action is fast and furious and

can be confusing, but we had fun.

Unfortunately, it was too long for one afternoon

so unusually we will hold Act III over to next

month – the normal aim is to read a whole play

in an afternoon in my sitting room, with a break

for tea and biscuits to revive the throats and talk

about the play, or just gossip. We meet once a

month and have read a wide variety of plays in

our afternoons – from Harold Pinter to Chekov

to Noel Coward. The Frayn was a reaction to

two rather serious offerings - Our Town by

Thornton Wilder and An Inspector Calls by J B

Priestley – the call was for something light and

funny.

Our choices tend to be dependent on the

playsets available from Exeter Library, who

send the requested set of books along to

Tavistock Library for collection. This means that

the plays tend to be classics rather than up to

the minute, though we also have borrowed sets

of Stoppard and Ayckbourn to call on.

We are an open group and happy to welcome

new members who sign up at the monthly

meetings. Although there are seventeen on my

list for regular email updates, luckily for the size

of my sitting room, people have other calls on

their time and holidays and illnesses, so we

rarely overflow the number of chairs even if

some are folding garden ones! We have a book

each to read a member of the cast so that

characterisation can emerge as we go along,

and can swap around so that everyone gets a

go. At the moment we meet on the third

Tuesday of the month, and if you would like to

join us for a trial run do sign up at the monthly

meeting or ring me on 01822 611005 for the

details of dates and how to find us.

Rosy Griffith

Art Appreciation

Since taking over the co-ordination of the group in March we have delved into the muted palette of Wilhelm Hammershoi, a Danish painter celebrated for painting interior scenes and taken a turn through the Renaissance period covering Bellini, Donatello and Masaccio. At the last meeting we found ourselves absorbed in the early life of Pablo Picasso born in Spain in 1881.

As many of you will know Picasso made his first trip to Paris in 1900 at the age of 19. There he met his first Parisian friend, journalist and poet Max Jacob who helped Picasso learn the language. Sharing a very small apartment in Montmartre with only one bed, (Max slept at night while Picasso slept during the day and worked at night), they experienced severe poverty, cold and desperation which meant that much of Picasso’s work was burned to keep the small room warm. Despite this they enjoyed the life in Montmartre amongst the artisans, tradesmen, petty criminals, performers and prostitutes. Picasso was fascinated by the music halls painting many pictures of the dancers and audiences.

One of his most beautiful early portraits is the one dedicated to his mother, María Picasso López, who he was always close to and whose maiden name he adopted. In 1904, Picasso met a glamorous artist’s model called Fernande Olivier. Undeterred by the disarray of Picasso’s ash-strewn studio, she became his lover and most important early muse.

The programme took us as far as Picasso’s Blue Period of which ‘Old Beggar and Boy’ is an example. Picasso became a favourite of American art collectors Leo and Gertrude Stein at this time and Gertrude Stein became Picasso's principal patron, acquiring his drawings and paintings and exhibiting them in her informal Salon at her home in Paris. At one of her gatherings in 1905, he met Henri Matisse, who at this point he saw as a rival.

We have elected to continue watching these fascinating programmes on the Modernists. We look forward to hearing more about how the initial antipathy between Picasso and Matisse influenced each other’s work.

Liz Heaton

Do you have convenience functions?

Those of you who lived happily back in the time when fish and chips wrapped in week-old newspaper was 1/6d, do you remember cars having an instruction book? Did you need one to tell you the choke knob was marked ‘C’ and you mustn’t leave it out too long? I now have a second-hand four-year-old model. It came with a magnificent instruction manual. It was ¾ inch thick and over 500 pages long – 495 of which were in foreign languages. I opened it carelessly: ‘Before using your vehicle for the first time,’ it said on the first page, ‘please read and observe the information in this owner’s manual.’ I was sitting in the dealer’s car park at the time so I turned a few more pages then skimmed through to the end. All 533 pages were about this car. All 533 pages were in English. If I’d been the sort of chap to do what I was told I’d still be there. First mention of the handbrake was on p.277. Fellow veteran drivers, what are they doing to our much-loved free-roaming multi-purpose transport facility? I’ve submitted (unwillingly) to technological progress by purchasing a smartphone. Now if ever there was a device that needed a 500-page manual, it’s this phone. How am I supposed to learn to use it? The nearest grandchildren live 20 miles away. I can drive a car, thank you – they still have a gear lever, a steering wheel and three pedals, but am baffled by this shiny pocket-sized electronic device. I began to feel the need for a new U3A Group. I remember when computer software came with instructions, but as the stuff got more complex and less understandable the manual vanished into the depths of the very machine you were trying to use. You can still buy software handbooks, of course. There’s one for Excel, that brilliant invention for graphs, spreadsheets and more mathematical formulae than you’d need in two lifetimes. It’s got 1000 pages. The Excel software package is so big that you can’t help feeling that the next version will step in and run your life to save you the trouble.

And do it better than you. Why then does a simple internal combustion-engined device that’s been around since 1885 need 500 pages? I’ll tell you. Here’s the instruction manual again explaining what a shrewd purchase I made: ‘you have become the owner of a vehicle fitted with the most up-to-date technology and a multitude of convenience functions for your use and enjoyment’. Convenience functions? I’ve been driving for 70 years and managed quite well without them. For the first ten I had neither radio nor heater and am of course thankful for their appearance since the 50s. But I feel that I myself should be responsible for stopping the car before it hits the one in front, not rely on an electronic device to tell me. Half a lifetime ago you had one light that warned of low oil pressure and another that told you the dynamo wasn’t charging. All this ‘up-to-date technology’ means that I have to constantly look out for 60 different warning and indicator lamp signs. And not one of them will tell me if a headlight isn’t working. It also means that at night 40 lit-up switches, buttons and knobs glow brightly in front of me; there are even little nests of them either side of the steering wheel. Paying attention to all this means that I’m not watching the road anything like as much as I did when driving my old Austin A40. This whole miracle of complex engineering has without doubt been designed in such a way as to need only a minor upgrade in order for it to drive itself. But before that happens, please can someone help with my proposed new group: Coping with Technology. Ivor Williams

Ivor Williams is the Newsletter’s longest serving

contributor, his first article appearing in 2005.

That was about Ping Pong, but we have lost track

of the number of new groups that he has

suggested!

Thanks, Ivor.

Future Driving

Over the years driving has changed so much Gears are automatic so you don’t need a clutch Too fast, too slow, but the ones that you curse Are the number of drivers who can’t find reverse In a big four wheel drive down a narrow Devon lane They sit and stare blankly, everyone else is to blame So I say to the makers of cars, if in doubt Don’t bother with reverse, just leave it out. Another item that should be on the agenda Those strange flashing lights attached to the fender I think they also deserve a mention As I believe their purpose was to give some direction To keep the peace and the traffic flowing Giving others a clue as to which way you’re going But no-one uses these lights anymore They must wonder what that stalk by their fingers is for So I say to the makers of cars, if in doubt Don’t fit indicators, just leave them out. Then there are those glass things for make-up and grooming To arrive looking your best all sparkly and blooming Throughout their journey you’ll be amazed to find They had no idea as to what was behind It’s quite scary when you think, fair makes me shiver That people don’t use the rear view mirror So I say to the makers of cars, if in doubt Don’t bother with mirrors, just leave them out. But don’t fret, dear traveller, do not despair The future’s all sorted, there’s a computer in there It knows where you’re going, you will be on time It’ll stick to the limits so there won’t be a fine Won’t get lost in a carpark, ‘cos it knows the exit It’ll play music, the news, even talk about Brexit So I say to the makers of cars, if in doubt Don’t bother with drivers, just leave them out.

Rod Taylor

Your Committee

Chair:

Paul Ward

Vice Chair:

Barry Smith

Secretary:

Robin Neave

Treasurer:

Randall Williams

Membership Secretary:

Tony Rose

Groups Liaison:

Pippa Gardner

Newsletter Distribution:

Susan Neal

Speaker’s Liaison:

Jane Ward

Two Moors Liaison:

Barry Smith

Our next monthly meetings:

November 6th: West Country Falconry by Davis Buncie

December 4th: An Entertainment of Words and Music for the Festive

Season