TARANTARA TITBITS

In This Issue

Society Titbits—Sexy

at Sixty!

Caption Competition

No 3

What’s On

“Singing is Good for

You” - Part 3

Last Issue’s Caption

Competition

The Choir Dinner

Ask Auntie Tara—our

resident problem

Aunt

In the spotlight—One

of our Altos

Hello Welcome to edition No 3 of Tarantara Titbits. Lots of positive comments

so far about the Newsletter, so fingers crossed you'll enjoy the latest

edition. A lot has happened since the last Newsletter - Jonathan's

coming of age party and, of course, our annual Christmas ‘do’ - and you'll

be glad to know our own roving reporter, Helen Houndsville, has been

out and about, keeping a beady...sorry, close... eye on proceedings.

Mo —Editor

Society Titbits On the evening of St Andrew’s Day Titbits was privileged to attend THE

event of 2013, the surprise party for ‘Mr Sexy at Sixty’ himself, Mr

Jonathan Hill. Held in the magnificent and gracious Guesten Hall,

Avoncroft, the 100 guests from the glitterati of the West Midlands were

entertained in style by world class performers. Elton John eat your heart

out.

The evening was organised with military precision by our glamorous

hostess, Mrs Lorna Hill, who dazzled and delighted us with her moving

rendition of ‘Come What May’. This was accompanied by some rather

dubious backing singers, obviously a hastily booked crowd, ….see over

The Newsletter of Tarantara Issue 3 — February 2014

Caption

Competition

No 3 There will be a small prize

for whoever comes up with

the best caption.

Society Titbits (continued) … who took the opportunity to ruin- sorry - regale us with

‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’, ‘You Raise Me Up’ and a

spirited ‘Michael Row’. Somehow the words seemed

strangely altered: I don’t remember references to power

boats, alcohol and moisturising in the original versions.

The ever-elegant Mrs Chris Fraser jetted in from her

latest world tour to give us one of her compositions in

her instantly recognisable Oxfordshire lilt. Beautifully

judged as ever, it hit exactly the right note and managed

to combine balls, bollocks and geocaching in one fell

swoop.

A surprise treat for guests was a cookery demonstration

by none other than award-winning army chef, Buttery

Sergeant Roger Powell. Armed only with his wooden

spoon, he parachuted in from a circling helicopter and

then proceeded to take us through, step by ssshtep, a

traditional SAShhhh recipe developed over years of

survival training. It’s amazing what you can do with just

an apron and a triangular bottle of whisky.

To round off the entertainment before supper was served, Mrs Hill had apparently arranged for the

entire cast of ‘Les Miserables’ to spontaneously combust into barricade-manning and flag-waving.

They’re an excitable lot, those French.

The banquet comprised a magnificent pig roast followed by fresh fruit and a delicious chocolate

birthday cake. The First Lady, President’s wife, The Hon. Mrs Jane Crompton was to be seen

jealously guarding her third helping of cake as she tucked in with gusto. President The Hon. Mr

Rodney Crompton, sporting a resplendent electric blue tie, mingled, charming as ever. Occasionally

he could be seen holding forth, with glittering eye, to some alarmed looking guest on the more

esoteric points of sailing windmills.

After supper the dance floor beckoned as the platinum selling group, The Racketts, took to the stage.

Joined by guest star on keyboards, the world renowned Mr Christopher Long, the group proceeded

to demonstrate how they got their name.

On the dance floor, guests sparkled as they shimmied and twirled the night away. (And you should

have seen the ladies). Several of the most enthusiastic seemed to have transported themselves to

an imaginary Strictly stage and seemed intent on grabbing Craig and Bruno’s attention.

………. see over

Sixty—surely not!?!

What’s On:-

Just a reminder of what’s going on over the next few months-

22nd March 2014: St Mary’s Church, Elmley Castle in aid of the churches of Elmley

Castle, Little Comberton and Bricklehampton .

29th March 2014: The Vale Golf Club, Bishampton in aid of the Lady Captain's

Charity - the Alcester Dementia Cafe.

12th April 2014: St John the Baptist Church, Aston Cantlow in aid of Kissing It

Better.

26th April 2014: St Nicholas Church, North Littleton in aid of repairs and

refurbishment of St Nicholas Church.

7th June 2014: Trip to London to see Miss Saigon

13th September 2014: United Reform Church, Stratford upon Avon in aid of the

church organ fund.

15th November 2014: Kings Norton Golf Club in aid of the Captain's Charities -

Fisher House and Queen Elizabeth Hospital.

Plenty more concerts in the pipeline—keep your eye on the Tarantara website

continued

Dancers were thrilled by Miss

Elaine Harrison‘s Jagger

Swagger, while last year’s

champion, Miss Christine

Taylor, also found her groove.

But the outstanding

performance, for it could only

be described as such, was Mr

Don Foster’s skilful

combination of Can-Can and

Morris Dance technique.

As the carriages drove away

at the end of the evening, all

agreed they had enjoyed a

splendid time and a great

celebration of Mr Hill’s birthday

– sixty and still going strong!

Miss Elaine Harrison doing her ‘Jagger Swagger’

It’s official—singing is good for you

(part three)

For those of you that snore,

singing might just be the

answer to your (and your

partner’s) problems

Doctors say vocal exercises

could be the key to a

peaceful night’s sleep. A

simple set of daily exercises

can strengthen the palate

muscles which are a major

cause of snoring, experts

say. The discovery was

made after a singing teacher devised a way to help a friend stop snoring. She designed a

programme of singing exercises which targeted the throat and stopped both chronic and sleep

apnoea which causes people to stop breathing during deep sleep. Her finding prompted a

major study which saw 30 snorers try the exercises for a few minutes every day for 3 months.

By the end of the trial, their snoring had significantly improved, compared to 30 others who

didn’t try the treatment. The consultant who led the research said that all the participants found

the singing exercises easy to perform and added “It opens up a whole new avenue of potential

treatment which avoids surgery, so it is definitely good news for snorers”.

Last Issue’s Caption Competition.

And the winner of Issue 2’s caption competition is……………..

Entered by:

Jackie Russell

Result! 2 people

are looking at me

and one of them is

a Bass!!!

The Choir Dinner (with apologies to Edward Lear)

The choir and their partners went to dine

In a beautiful golf club afar.

They purchased wine with plenty of money,

Propped up at the members’ bar.

The men looked agog as the ladies impressed

And they stared with their mouths ajar.

How glamorous, stunning and beautifully dressed

Are the girls of Tarantara

-tara, tara,

Are the girls of Tarantara.

Ladies said to the chaps, ‘you elegant gents-

Just promise you won’t start to sing!’

And they all took their seats as the table plan said.

Their chattering made the room ring.

They guzzled away for an hour and a half

And of alcohol drank a good deal.

Three courses and coffee, they barely had room

For the mint at the end of the meal

-the meal, the meal

For the mint at the end of the meal.

Then up rose the chairman to speak for a moment

‘Thanks awfully’, said Barry, to Gill.

And they took it away on the dance-floor in droves

Led by Christine who dazzled with skill.

Elaine did her strut and Rog swung his hips

While he clapped out of time to confuse.

With Barry and Roz, as they twirled round the floor,

They danced in their twinkling shoes

-kling shoes, kling shoes,

They danced in their twinkling shoes.

Ask Auntie Tara….

Having problems that you feel a little embarrassed to discuss with your colleagues? Don’t know

who to turn to? Auntie Tara is here to help……

Dear Tara

When attempting staggered breathing, what should be the average count between breaths?

The singer on my right seems to take sharp intakes of breath at almost every bar and then

appears to sway with hyperventilation. Whenever I prepare to breathe I am cut off by the

awareness of alarming gasping beside me and I am forced to forgo the much-needed oxygen in

the belief that his need is greater than mine. Whereas the member to my left has an apparently

huge lung capacity and rarely seems to come up for air. I am terrified of breathing at just the

moment he decides to for fear of interrupting his flow. The result is that I light-headedly snatch a

breath nanoseconds before unconsciousness descends and it then takes me several bars to

recover. After which I have to race to catch up and literally stagger lurchingly through the piece.

…………...H McD (MD Edin)

Dear Dr McD

The general rule in staggered breathing is every man for himself. Get in quick before the rush.

It’s dog eat dog and no time for gentlemanliness. In general the ladies seem to be better at this;

something to do with the ability to carry on several conversations and breathe at the same time.

A useful tip is to watch the movement of the bosom belonging to a soprano in your eye-line. As

it rises, take that as your cue to inhale. Not only will this solve your problem, but you will be

seen to have a smile on your face and Jonathan may even think you are looking at him.

……………...Tara

Dear Tara

As a somewhat vertically challenged second soprano, I am often dismayed to find myself

several rows back in concerts and unable to see much beyond the shoulders in front of me.

Sometimes the anonymity is welcome, but recently my elderly parents came to a concert and

were convinced they’d showed up at the wrong place as they thought I wasn’t singing.

To rectify this, I invested in some black platform shoes with vertiginous heels and was delighted

by the new viewpoint that they afforded me. Disaster struck, however, when walking out after

the first half, one of the said heels went down a hole in the grating and stuck fast, causing me to

wrench it off the shoe and continue on tip toe in an attempt to avoid a traffic jam in the aisle. I

continued for the second half of the concert feeling as though I were standing on the side of a

hill and hovering up and down like some fairground target. Eventually I pulled the other heel off

to match and went home shuffling in agony. Do you have any tips for finding a suitable solution

to my dilemma?

………………….Miss I B Short

Dear Miss Short

Bring a box. Our chairman does a nice line in flat-pack designs.

……………..…...Tara

Got your own little embarrassing conundrum. You can contact Auntie Tara by writing c/o The

Editor, Tarantara Titbits, Arrow Village Hall.

And finally….. As you know, in each edition we are highlighting someone in the choir, so they can tell us a bit

more about themselves and how they fill their time in between choir practice. This time, the

spotlight falls on our very own Claire Smith from the Altos.....

One of our Altos — Transforming Tomorrow!

Let me ‘steel’ a moment of your time…

None of my friends like inviting me for a dinner party

because as soon as someone asks me what I do,

conversation just stops; the poor unsuspecting soul who

ventured the question either looks at me like a rabbit

caught in the headlights because they have no idea how to

follow through or their eyes glaze over with an ‘oh, that

sounds interesting’ platitude. Either way, silence often

ensues and out of the corner of my eye I see the hostess

groaning. I’ve tried in the past to dress it up as

‘international consultant for precious metals’ but the cold,

hard reality is that I sell steel; steel tube to be exact. Hey!

Stay awake!

It’s tricky to describe an average day in my working life

because it’s a pretty diverse role. I work for the world’s

largest steel maker and I’m in charge for sales in the UK

and Ireland for their tube division. This means

representing tube mills based in Romania, Poland, Czech

Republic, North/South America, Kazakhstan and France

and managing accounts in the Automotive, Construction

and Energy sectors.

Now steel tube might not sound very exciting but when you next get in your car to drive home, are

you aware you are sitting directly on a framework of tube? Oh and the chassis, door frames and

fuel filler to name but a few will all be tube based; the supermarket you shop in or the school your

kids go to will all have steel tube in their structures and fire defence systems; and how does that

gas get into your cooker and heating? Yep, it’s all tube. Our way of life would not be the same

without it.

Now I could send you all to sleep by explaining the rich variety of tube technology but this is

supposed to be about my day so if you really want to know about the difference between pipe and

tube, you’ll have to come and ask me!

………….. see over

As I mentioned earlier, there’s no such thing as an average day. I’m officially based in Solihull but I

spend a lot of time visiting customers all over the UK and travelling overseas to the mills. Some of

what I do is commodity based and it’s simply a question of negotiating the right price. The interesting

bit for me is working on major projects – usually oil field developments in the North Sea or The

Caspian or infrastructure projects in Iraq. One minute I can be talking to a forklift truck driver who

won’t offload a delivery, the next I could be speaking

with the Purchasing Director of a global oil company.

No two conversations are the same!

My three bosses are based in Germany, France and

Luxembourg and my peers are heading up the other

Sales Offices around the world so I don’t get to see the

people I work with and for very often. Thank goodness

for phones, emails and video conferencing! We

usually have a sales conference twice a year but 2014

is special... wait for it… every two years, there is a

Tube Fair in Dusseldorf – a week long tube

extravaganza (stop laughing) attended by tube makers and buyers from all over the world. It gives

me the opportunity to spend an extra week with my colleagues while we all meet our customers under

one roof. It means long days and sometimes longer nights but the payback is spending time with

people in exactly the same boat as me, sharing info, stories and cementing the team spirit despite the

fact we all operate in different countries. I love the fact that 95% of the people I work with are

different nationalities to me – I’ve learnt so much from them and can honestly say, we all live up to

our cultural stereotypes now and again! I’m also proud to say that of the seven European sales

offices, four of them are headed up by women – I’m not much of a feminist but I do think it’s

encouraging in an industry such as mine to see the barriers breaking down.

That said, it’s not an easy industry to be a part of - it raises many moral and ethical questions; but for

every oil well, nuclear build or fracking project I offer on, there’s a windfarm going up, or a new

electric car in design or a drinking water pipeline under installation in a developing country. Steel is

actually the world’s most recycled material and improvements in technology and standards keep the

pressure on companies such as mine to strive towards more sustainable, cleaner processes. Unless

we are prepared to radically change our lifestyles, steel will be with us for a long time to come.

So, I’m not sure that you’re much wiser about my average day but if you’ve made it this far (well done

by the way!) then you’ll at least have a better idea of what I do generally. It’s not what you’d call

glamorous but wherever you are, town, country or sea, you’re never very far from a steel tube – and

someone’s got to sell it!

Claire

“…..but 2014 is special... wait

for it… every two years, there is

a Tube Fair in Dusseldorf – a

week long tube extravaganza

(stop laughing) attended by tube

makers and buyers from all over

the world.

STOP PRESS

Since September, we have raised almost £4,000 on behalf of the various causes we have sung for, and hopefully given a lot of pleasure at the same time. One grateful ‘customer’ wrote: “Your informal approach combined with your musical skill and professionalism, the wide selection of music on offer and humorous readings all went to make a very special occasion”. Perhaps we can give ourselves a little clap on the back!