Tame Your Reptile Brain

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Sources• Bradberry, Travis and Jean Greaves. Emotional Intelligence 2.0.

TalentSmart, 2009.

• Connors, Roger, et. al. The Oz Principle: Getting Results Through Individual and Organizational Accountability. Penguin Group, 2004.

• Patterson, Kerry, et. al. Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High. McGraw Hill, 2012.

• Rutledge, Pamela. “SxSW Panel: Does the Internet Make You Happy?” Transmedia Storytelling Workshops: For Organizations, Branding, and Marketing. http://athinklab.com/2011/03/18/sxsw-panel-does-the-internet-make-you-happy/. Accessed 3/17/2014.

• “Study Shows compassion meditation changes the brain”, March 25, 2008. http://www.news.wisc.edu/14944, accessed, 3/19/2014.

Agenda• Examine how emotions play into

interactions with others

• Learn a process to change your own perceptions

• Learn how to interact with “difficult” people

IntroductionsNamePositionWhat is one negative

emotion you’ve felt recently during an interaction with another person?

Emotional Hijacking

Emotional Hijacking

Emotional Situations

See & Hear

Feel Act

What’s Your Story?

See & Hear

Tell a Story

Feel Act

What’s the Story?• What kinds of negative

assumptions could be made about someone who is: o Grumpy?o Demanding?o Confused?o Full of excuses?

• VIDEO 1

What’s Your Story?• Ask yourself:

o What emotions are encouraging me to act this way?

o What story is creating these emotions?o What evidence do I have to support this story

(facts)?

• Be sure to:o State clear observable facts

(e.g., spoke in a loud voice)o Don’t judge the facts

(e.g., loud voice means angry)

Three Common Stories• Victim

o I feel I am an innocent sufferer. Someone else has caused the problem.

• Villain o I imply the other person has bad motives and

feel its necessary to warn everyone else about them.

• Helplesso I think I am powerless to change the

circumstances and feel nothing can be done.

CAUTION!• Don’t fall into group think

oOur story can be strengthened through others who have the same story. The story can grow and get worse.

• Don’t rally the troopsoWe can strengthen our story by

finding others to validate it (even when it wasn’t their story ). Allies will embrace your story and it can become us vs. them.

Changing Your Story• If we take control of our stories,

they won’t control us• Why do I need to change my story?

o Is your story helping the situation?o Is your story making things worse?

• Stories are based on assumptions o Changes in each situationo We can change the story/assumption on purpose

Master your Story• Add compassion

o Project, UW-Madison

• Consciously pick your story

• VIDEO 2

Master Your Stories• Why would a reasonable, rational,

and decent person do what this person is doing?

• What do I really want? For me? For others? For the relationship?

• What would I do right now if I really wanted these results?

What’s Your Story?

See & Hear

CHANGE Your Story

Feel

Act

Stop Emotional Hijacking

Story

“Every life deserves world class care!”-Cleveland Clinic

COMPASSIONTORY

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UR