t Shirt Slogans

8/12/2019 t Shirt Slogans

1/21

B1. Caution Blonde Thinking

B32. Riddle: If 4 drivers come to a 4-a! sto" at e#actl! the same time$

hose turn is it% It&s '( T)R*+

,3. It took me / !ears to look this good.

,00. I idn&t o It ... nd I&ll *ever o It gain+

1/. Teachers are ea"ons of 'ass Instruction

11. If I as !ou$ I ouldn&t e me+

14. 5chool is here the! "ut !ou to learn

hile !ou&re tr!ing to do other things.

42. nd !our "oint is...

40. If !ou don&t ant me looking$ sto" looking so good+

6. It&s onl! funn! until someone falls...then it&s hilarious

It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure why take the chance. -

Ronald Regan

I drink to make other people interesting. --George Jean athan

So Many Men, So Little Point Anonymous.

I Want to Be a Millionaire (That's My Final Answer) Jo Bales, of Falls Church.

You Have the i!ht to e"ain Silent# Anythin! You Say Will Be Mis$uote%, Then &se% A!ainst You"a fellow sufferer in the newspaper business," who reports that it broke all sales records at a recent scribes

They an Sen% Me to olle!e But They an't Mae Me Thin T.. !ilson, of Tucson.

A oo% Lawyer *nows the Law# a reat Lawyer *nows the +u%!e J.J. Bonsinore, of #ensinton.

He Who Lau!hs Last Thins Slowest $ike %arrish, of Arlinton.

Plaes to o, Peo-le to Annoy. Carl Binswaner, of ake &ide.


2/21

.Finally /0, an% Le!ally A1le to 2o 3verythin! I've Been 2oin! Sine /4. Tom !heeler.

.I'" a 5atural Blon%e 6 S-ea Slowly. Ted 'udson, of Centre(ille.

.I &se% to Be Shi7o-hreni, But 5ow We're +ust Fine. Barbara )anu(en.

.I8 You an't Beat The", Arran!e to Have The" Beaten. *hawn $cCausland.

.An% You're Tellin! Me This Beause999. *unni Bond !inkler.

.:ut o8 Bo%y 6 Ba in Ten Minutes. #aren &e+neck.

.I'" a onsultant 6 You Have to Pay to Tal to Me. $ike sdan.

I like cats too. Lets exchange recipes.

I&m looking for a 7uic! sin to commit.

82. I have total recall$ 7erk+

83. (our assertiveness training is earing thin m! nger 'anagement+

84. I used to soar ith eagles efore I got sucked into a 7et engine.

86. Bathroom 5tall Cruiser

80. 9ethal )se of arce

8. 5ervice ith 5mile. ;ecause I messed ith !our ordereo"le ho need "eo"le$ are ... code"endent.

81. Carr! !our on emotional aggage+

81=. If at first !ou don&t succeed$ don&t go sk!diving.

82/. oulda Coulda 5houlda

821. '! ,randchildren 'ust Be 5"oiled Because The! 5mell Bad+

822. I can multi-task ;talk and "iss !ou off at the same timeretentious 5lo

843. 8umid Resources

844. Tourists Be ,one+

846. (ou+ Futta the ,ene >ool.

840. There is no @me@ in team. *o$ ait$ !es there is+

84. I&ve never ever ever ever ever een in denial+

84. I&m not su"ersticious at all$ knock on ood.

84=. I&m a good ook. anna curl u" ith me%

86/. >ickle >eo"le o It ith Relish

861. (ou 8ave The Right To Remain iolent

862. um" 8im

863. 8oe e"ot

864. Bro&s Before 8o&s

866. I learn all m! social skills from m! television set.

860. on&t make me send m! fl!ing monke!s after !ou+


5/21

86. 5orr! for the stu"idit!. It started efore I as orn.

86. I&' 5)B9I'I*9 '55*,R.eat me$ eat me$ eat me$ eat me

86=. If at first !ou do succeed$tr! not to look astonished.

80/. ll ,eneraliDations re alse.

801. I&m a 9ocal. ,o aa!+

802. 5cent is tied to memor!$ ut all I can rememer are farts.

803. *o need to get defensive ;hen !ou can get offensive insteadisses 'e Fff+

B11. Recovering nal Retentive

B12. Cons"irac! Theorist

B13. Fnce t Brat Cam" ...

B14. Right! Tight!$ 9eft! 9oose! ;hich is true in oth

mechanics and "oliticsoor Blood

B34. lah$ lah$ lah$ lah$ lah

B36. 8air 5t!list

B30. Hust ecause it takes the Has of 9ife to get m! allet o"en doesn&t

mean I&m chea"+

B3. 5lo Thinkers Aee" Right.

B3. It&s not hat others think of !ou that counts$ it&s hat !ou think

others think of !ou that counts.

B3=. I fart$ therefore I am

B4/. 8emorrhoid


8/21

B41. I ite the hand that feeds me.

B42. '! kid is a "regant honor student

B43. Too 'uch Realit! T

B44. 5lo 5ervice ith 5mile

B46. re e There$ (et%

B40. I m The Cold 5hiver Running on (our 5"ine

B4. Itch!$ Titch! E Bitch!

B4. RationaliDe 5omething Toda!+

B4=. 'e 5o Corn!

B6/. 8umans come in all different states of disre"air

B61. If !ou can&t eat &em$ anno! &em+

B62. ro ro ro !our oat

gentl! don the stream

merril! merril! merril! merril!

I 7ust have to scream

B63. ,uns don&t kill "eo"le$ I kill "eo"le.

B64. oke u" from the merican ream

B66. I&m a good hait to get into

B60. aseline lle!

B6. I like m! >icasso&s on lack velvet.

B6. oing more harm than good

B6=. >rogrammer *eeds Ho. illing To o indos.

B0/. Intolerance ill not e Tolerated+


9/21

B01. I&m *ot 6/. I&m 4=.=6+

B02. I&m &ogs >la!ing >oker& Aind Ff ,u!.

B03. California: here even the illegal aliens have cell "hones.

B04. arren Terror

B06. huked on fonics reel! urked fer mee

B00. I&m a 9ocal and if !ou&re not - ,F (+

B0. >aris 8ilton 8ead

B0. 5ometimes I im To >lease$ Fther Times I 5hoot To Aill

B0=. >rincess

B/. The Rules on&t ""l! To 'e

B1. The orld Fes 'e 9iving

B2. ,et a life% here can I donload one%

B3. I >ee In The >ool

B4. *ot ,uilt! B! Reason Ff Celerit!

B6. F(+

B0. on @*a""! 8eaded@ 8o Receives 8aaiian >unch

5omeod! needs to ru m! ell! and tell me I&m "rett!.

2. 8oosier add!

3. '! 5earch ngine is making a funn! noise.

4. sk me for directions$ I&ll tell !ou here to go.

6. Bad 8air a!$ Can&t Think 5traight

0. on&t 8ate 'e Because (ou in&t 'e


10/21

. '! al"haet sou" is hooked on "honi#.

. California: here even the illegal aliens have cell "hones.

=. 5ir ats--9ot

1/. 9ose the 9osers+

11. I&m such a Baaaad Boooo!+

12. on&t sGueeDe the 5haman+

13. '! dee" s"iritual cleansing ent don the drain

14. I&ve gron tolerant to "e""er s"ra!

16. It as a dark E storm! Anight

10. sked me aout m! JKELed )" "ersonal life.

1. 9ast *ight I ,ot runk and 5ta"led '! 5crotum to a og.

1. I like to smell m! on farts.

1=. on&t make me "ull this thing over.

2/. It&s ala!s aout !ou isn&t it%

21. 4M6 of the "eo"le have a "rolem ith fractions. The other 6/K don&t.

22. I&m in *F 58> to e#ercise "atience.

23. on&t interru"t me hile I&m talking cra".

24. R*I*,...ll stressed out E no one to choke.

26. F8 CR>+ (ou&re going to s"eak to me aren&t !ou%

20. If at first !ou don&t succeed$ choose a"ath!$ dumass.

2. >uh-9eeeeeDe+++

2. h! do all of m! friends seem to e clingers and floaters%


11/21

2=. I&m 7ust a nood! ho can e a someod! hen I ant to e.

3/. on&t give me that lank e#"ression or I&ll tatoo it+

31. I&m smiling ecause I&ve farted.

32. The! sa! that 'one! Talks ut mine 7ust aves @,ood!e@

33. (our dreams are !our future. *o go to slee"+

34. I&m ,etting In Touch ith '! !sfunctional 5ide

36. 8air Toda!$ ,one Tomorro

30. ,u!s: e&ll i"e our utts on the same "iece of "a"er

that e lo our noses on.

3. >eo"le ho live in glass houses had etter do indos.

3. *ostalgia isn&t hat it used to e.

3=. sadist is someone ho refuses to e mean to a masochist.

4/. I ottle things u". (ou got a "rolem ith that+

41. There is no "rolem so ig or com"licated that it can&t e run aa!

from.

42. h! don&t horses have under-ites%

43. Hustif!. RationaliDe. 'inimiDe. ho needs realit! an!a!%

44. Ffficer$ I kno m! rights.

46. I lost m! tem"er$ B)T IT C' BCA+

40. Hack 5hit. o !ou kno me%

4. >la!s ell ith Fthers

4. ver! man should marr!. 8a""iness isn&t ever!thing.

4=. Clean )" on isle 2


12/21

6/. 5ometimes$ the light at the end of the tunnel is accom"anied !

loodhounds.

61. >eo"le like (F) are the reason "eo"le like ' hate >F>9+

62. It&s onl! funn! until someone gets hurt...then it&s an merica&sunniest ideo+

63. 9ike ird atching% 8o aout I fli" !ou one+

64. I live in m! on little orld ut I&m running out of o#!gen.

66. I gre u" a 9ittle >rincess and I ended u" a >orn ?ueen.

60. I like 5>FF*I*, ut m! favorite is FRAI*,.

6. *es lash: )ranus >roe iscovers steroids

6. Bo!s 9ie

6=. untie m$ hate !ou$ hate Aansas$ took the dog. - oroth!

0/. 5to" 'e Before I 5tart 'aking 5ense+

01. eni$ edi$ isa: I came. I 5a. I id a 9ittle 5ho""ing.

02. I fought the lan and the lan on.

03. Fld ge Comes at a Bad Time

04. irst Things irst$ ut *ot *ecessaril! in That Frder.

06. I Tried )sing Invisile Ink But I re Blank.

00. 333 - I&m Fnl! 1M2 vil

0. vailale for Rent

0. hat ha""ens at m! "lace$ sta!s at m! "lace.

0=.

8um"t! um"t!

5at on a all$


13/21

8um"t! um"t!

8ad a great fall

ll the king&s horses

nd all the king&s men$

8ad second and third

8el"ings of him.

/. I&m getting too old for this shit.

1. a 'an

2. Rememer to forgive and forget$ and not to forget to forgive.

I have a mind like a steel tra"eDe.

2. 8eart 2 5iDes 2 5mall

3. (ou ant it !esterda!% e&ll have to reschedule that.

4. I&m a "aranoid riter ho has develo"ed Guite a folloing.

6. I have a 'asters of ""lied 5cience iction degree.

0. I >ee In The >ool

. 5chool Ff 8ard Anocks. ,raduate of ho&s There.

. lectro-shock thera"! is m! morning aker-u""er.

=. If !ou see me getting smaller$ I&m leaving.

1/. (our Rules on&t ""l! To 'e

11. Research sa!s cou"les attract ecause of smell E that&s something I

have a lot of.

12. go Tri". Fne-a! Ticket.

13. ll e re 5a!ing Is ,ive >INN Chance.

14. 'an Boos

16. Inner Beaut! Is Fver-Rated.


14/21

10. (ou Can Talk To 'e hen (ou 5ee 'onke!s l!ing

Fut Ff '! Butt.

1. Thenk iffernt

1. That&s hat 8 said

1=. 'a!e I&m >re7udice$ But There&s 5omething rong hen I 5ee n

Illegal lien riving n )ninsured Car Chatting Fn Cell >hone.

2/. .22 Calier 'ind in a .36 'agnum orld.

21. But its ala!s een done that a!.

22. arning: I have an attitude and kno ho to use it+

23. Ff course I don&t look us!. I did it right the first time.

24. It&s etter to e a no-talent has-een than a talented never-as.

26. Breathe In$ Breathe Fut. Re"eat If *ecessar!.

20. 8o can I miss !ou if !ou on&t go aa!%

2. *o good$ on the 7o$ has ever come from the "hrase$

@I need more ork to do.@

2. Futcast

2=. 8uman oing

3/. I&m Bad 'an

31. Aee" a! rom 5mall >ets and Children

32. ull rontal *erdit!

33. (ou ill meet a tall$ dark stranger ho ill cho" !ou into tin! "ieces.

--"s!chotic reading

34. red&s ingo arm

36. Herk Ff ll Trades


15/21

30. I am an theist ecause it&s ,od&s >lan.

3. 'a! The arce Be ith (ou

3. '! Thera"ist oesn&t 9isten To 'e

3=. at It Before It ,oes Bad

4/. I graduated 9aude Cum ?uickl!+

41. '! long-term goal is to get-rich-Guick.

42. If ,od created man$ ,od can&t e "erfect.

43. I s"eak 5RC5' as a second language.

44. I learned to "la! an instrument ecause I alread! mastered arting.

46. *eighors Behaving Badl!

40. ,ot the Itch to Bitch

4. If ,od is so smart$ h! did 8e make humans incom"lete%

4. 5ometimes I feel like an aandoned vehicle.

4=. ll e are sa!ing is give ,R* a chance

6/. 'oderation Aills+

61. Retired: 9eave 'e lone.

62. I have a rifle and it I5 tourist season.

63. >s!chokinesis moves me.

64. d!sle#ics untie

66. !e Cand!

60. I as aducted ! liens and all I got as this lous! t-shirt+

6. Certified 8oke! >oke! Instructor


16/21

6. 9icensed To Chill

6=. (ou have to change efore I can like !ou.

0/. Constant 5u"ervision *eeded

01. ttention eficit ... )h$ ... isorder

02. >eri"heral isionar!

03. I Brake or hales

04. ll That 'atters In 5"orts Is >uck &*& Balls.

06. um" 8im

00. T%

0. 9ord Ff The Bling Bling

0. If !ou go around acting like an asshole$ sooner or later$

!ou ill e covered in cra".

0=. 5"ermicidal 'aniac

/. Rockin& the Boat

1. I m n rtist+ ;oka!$ a scam artistrogram

1. >lease tell !our oos to sto" staring at m! e!es.

1=. I like to get drunk and "lace ids on a!.

2/. ver!one is entitled to m! o"inion.

21. '! realit! check is in the mail

22. I&m Fnl! ==K >erfect

23. Roses re Red$

iolets are lue$


18/21

I&m a raving lunatic$

88888+++++

24. oes not "la! ell ith others.

26. '! Child Is O1 at Blah$ Blah$ Blah

20. The voices in m! head kee" deating

the l!rics to @8otel California.@

2. 5lacker

2. '! a! or the higha!+

2=. I ma! not e cloned unless under the e#"ress

ritten consent of the Commissioner of Baseall.

3/. la!s Tell The Truthiness

31. '! 5earch ngine is making a funn! noise.

32. oes This 'ake 'e 9ook at%

33. ReGuest enied+

34. If !ou&re not outraged$ !ou&re not "a!ing attention+

36. But it&s a R( heat.

30. Fut Ff Control

3. *ot rom Concentrate

3. 8umid Being

3=. The orld F5 Revolve round 'e.

4/. 5a! 8ello To '! a7a!7a!

41. Hive Turke!

42. Be ,lad I&m *ot Tin.


19/21

43. 8o did I get so cute%

44. l"ha 'ale

46. I&d like to do a ackstroke in the "ools of !our e!es.

40. The monke! on m! ack$ carries a chi" on his shoulder.

4. ver notice that &Cu"id& rh!mes ith &5tu"id&%

4. ?ueer !e or (ou$ ,u!+

4=. Bracing m!self against the cold shoulder.

6/. Imus *o 'as

61. 5to" me efore I volunteer again+

62. I do all m! on stunts.

63. instein&s 8alf-Brother$ red

64. The hole orld oesn&t Revolve round (ou ;it revolves around

me


20/21

04. Bite 'e+

06. on&t Take It >ersonall!

00. Con7ugal isitor

0. 8air 5t!list

0. If I&m *ot 8a""!$ *ood!&s 8a""!

0=. >rolem ith uthorit!

/. h! 'e%

1. Rememer$ hen someod! sa!s something nice to !ou or does

something nice for !ou$ !ou don&t have to take that+

2. 9oads of 5treet Cred in Bed

3. B ?)IT: Fr I&ll Beat (ou 9ike I Fn (ou.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

If you are born ugly blame your parents, if you died ugly blame your doctor.

Eery man should marry. !fter all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

"iplomacy # the art of letting someone hae your $ay.

%omputers make ery fast, ery accurate mistakes.

&ress any key to continue or any other key to uit... Eery morning is the da$n of a ne$ error.

(hen you dial a $rong number, you neer get an engaged one.

I married )*iss +ight). nfortunately, I didn't kno$ that her first name $as

)!l$ays).

-uccess is a relatie term. It brings so many relaties.

I am planning to be more spontaneous in the future.

Before you borro$ money from a friend, decide $hich you need more.

They'e got a picture of her at the hospital # it saes using the stomach pump

There is an exception to eery rule, except this one.

The $ise neer marry, and $hen they marry they become other$ise.

Loe is photogenic, It needs darkness to deelop.

(hen you are $orking late, the boss $ill neer be around. (hen you are surfing

the net the boss $ill al$ays drop by.

unn! 5logans


21/21

ere are some slogans that you can use on T#-hirts or bumper stickers that is sure to

bring a smile on the lips of the person reading the same/

If there is no god, $ho pops up the next kleenex0

1esus saes sinners and redeems them for cash and aluable pri2es.

If at first you don't succeed skydiing is not for you.

3ie days a $eek my body is a temple. The other t$o it's an amusement park. &eople $ho say you can't buy happiness 4ust don't kno$ $here to shop.

I am a 5obody. 5obody is &erfect. Therefore I am &erfect.

!ge is a ery high price to pay for maturity.

If 5oah had been smart he $ould hae s$atted those t$o flies.

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorro$ is not

looking good either.

+eality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

I didn't fight my $ay to the top of the food chain to be a egetarian.

o$ come $e hae to choose from 4ust 6 persons for president, and 78 for *iss

!merica0

(e are born naked, $et and hungry. Then things get $orse. 5inety#nine percent of all la$yers gie the rest a bad name.

The more I learn about terrorism, the more I understand the phone company.

am and Eggs/ ! day's $ork for a chicken9 ! lifetime commitment for a pig.

I $ant to die $hile asleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like the

passengers in his car.

If at first you don't suceed, pull your foreskin oer your head :pronounced heed;)

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