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SY On The Sly – Fantastic FebruaryBoom! 2010 is here and with it comes the latest issue of SY On The Sly, now 1 year old! As well as reviews of all the fantastic events Bristol gave us in January, and previews of everything coming up in February, try not to forget that it’s St. Valentine’s Day on 14th February – turn to page7 for our list of super duper gift ideas for your nearest and dearest.

February sees the twelfth issue of SY On The Sly, the sister publication of Suit Yourself Magazine – Bristol’s number one independent, quarterly magazine which investigates, uncovers and promotes everything that makes Bristol such a fun, vibrant and altogether amazing place to live!

Read away and don’t forget to check out the latest issue of Suit Yourself Magazine, our listings service and our constantly updated blog, all found at:www.suityourselfmagazine.co.ukwww.bristollistings.co.uk

5/ Fantastic February 9/ Valentine’s Gifts15/ Auntie Harper 46/ Horoscopes by Mystic Ginger

A Sly look back at January17/ The best of Gig 23/ The best of Art 26/ The best of Stage 35/ The best of Cinema

A Sly look forward at February 37/ Recommended Gigs 40/ Recommended Art 41/ Recommended Clubs 40/ Recommended Stage 42/ Recommended Cinema

For those of you pretending to work, you can also read the magazine online atwww.suityourselfmagazine.co.uk

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Valentine’s GiftsSunday 14th February 2010

Nothing says I love you but I am both boring and unoriginal than a dozen red roses on Valentine’s Day. Really boys, there is nothing wrong with flowers, we adore them, but has life really got that pathetically predictable that the only way you are able to express your love is through a tired wasteful cliché.

All a girl really wants is for the man in her life to express his love, to show her she is understood and appreciated, it does not have to cost anything, it’s not about money, of course we love diamonds but that’s not really the point, the point is just show us you care!Here are some cheap ideas on gifts that will wow the lady in your life, seriously just pull your finger out your arse are do something special!

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1. Breakfast In BedDoes not have to be posh and presented in a Gordon Ramsey style tower, but you will be amazed at the difference presenting it on a tray will make to the sentiment… maybe even a flower picked from the garden on the side, perhaps even both a coffee AND a juice…. Amazing!

2. Love LetterSeriously! No joke, if you are scared it will come back to bite you, write it onto sugar paper so she can eat it immediately afterwards (I have used this trick myself in the past!). She will adore you for it. Explain that these are tricky times, but that you love her, or fancy the pants off her!

3. DinnerCook it! Anything better than beans on toast and you’re in for a winner! Even beans on toast isn’t that bad with a sprinkling of cheese, just raise your game go beyond the normal. Apply effort, simple, basic effort!

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4. Sexy TimeNuff said! None for yourself, just the lady! WORSHIP HER!!!

5. TimeIt’s all about just spending time with the lady of your dreams, whatever you do just make sure she feels like a princess, do something totally different, what ever that is, just different from real life…. A walk in the park, rolling down hills, ice cream on the downs… make sure she gets a flake!

6. Voucher BookUsing the computer or even better hand written. Write down treats for the lovely lady, she can redeem at any point, ie Breakfast in bed, massage, sexy time etc. Using some artistic ability or just a few stickers and stars, make it look pretty. PERFECT!

Donate Now!Help save our sausages and keep Bristol's No.1 independent magazine! Just go to www.suityourselfmagazine.co.uk and follow the links.

Check out Suit Yourself Magazine, the sister publication of SY On The Sly. Suit Yourself Magazine is a free, quarterly printed magazine that has been going strong for over four years and can be found in every shop, cafe, pub, club, restaurant, hairdresser, gallery and venue all over Bristol!

Suit Yourself Magazine is an independent publication, a voice for all those young at heart, those interested in music, fashion, adventure, the arts, their environment and everything in between. A magazine which investigates, uncovers and promoters everything that makes Bristol such a fun, vibrant, and altogether amazing place to live.

Pick it up on the streets of Bristol or read back issues at:www.suityourselfmagazine.co.uk

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Auntie HarperHe answers your questions…

1. Valentines Day is coming up mate, where should I take my

girlfriend? It is better to go over the top seduce or just play it cool? Firstly, I’d

like to point out that you are not my mate! However, in your attempt to suck up to

me I will give you some tips on where to take your girlfriend. Why don’t you go to

London and take her up the Oxo Tower? It’s not everyone’s cup of tea and is a bit of

a strain on the old back pocket, but once you relax and have a few drinks, I’m sure

you can slip right in to the occasion. You must try their cream pie dessert; it’s all

the rage apparently.

2. It’s that time of year where everyone is booking holidays except me! Should I go

away somewhere or save the money? It’s hard when you’re ugly and have no friends to go

away with. I expect your street cred is pretty low as well. Well, as always I’ve got

the answer to all of your problems: I’ve heard of this great new savings scheme known

as the “Send Auntie Harper away while you stay at home savings scheme”. I promise to

send you a copy of my video diary and tell you all about it when I get back.

3. I don’t want to spend Valentine’s alone - I need to get a boyfriend, FAST! Help?

Well! You are a pushy madam. Cut off those balls and you may have more luck pulling

blokes.

To put your queries to Auntie Harper just email: info@suityourselfmagazine.co.uk

A SLY look back at January

Reviews of all the best gigs, art, clubs, stage and cinema over the last month in Bristol

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Reel Big FishMonday 18th January 2010 @ Academy, BristolWith Support From: Sonic Boom Six

The floor was sticky with beer and teenage sweat as support act Sonic Boom Six revved up the atmosphere, gearing up the night to be one of those gigs you’ll be bragging about for the next six months.

Reel Big Fish are a band from California formed back in the retro days of 1990, you can tell it’s ska as the t-shirt colours get brighter and there’s a group of guys dressed as bananas! The band’s raw, indulgent passion for the genre gives out an ultimate happiness. Their songs make you realise how epic it is to feel a bit exceptional and a little bit odd. Brown Eyed Girl was a big crowd pleaser with the upbeat rhythm complimenting the walking bass line characteristics; needless to say it was pretty whimsical. Trombonist, Dan Regan, and trumpeter, John Christianson, made it more comical with choreographed can-can leg kicking - mother would be proud!

And just when you thought the night couldn’t get any better, Sonic Boom Six singer, Laila Khan, collaborated with the guys with her style of punk, hip-hop and reggae moulded into one; it was a bit too amazing to have this musical form all at once.

I was going slightly deaf at the climax of Scott’s A Dork that embellished in the crowd’s enthusiasm whilst Sucker brought out Aaron Barrett into his element as the bright and breezy songster, engrossing with the fans and the band. With Reel Big Fish you are with the best company as the crowd formed as one massive clapping, skanking, off the hook sweat machine. It shows that in some cases it pays to keep that unusual style and to never grow up!

www.reel-big-fish.com

Skye Portman

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The Imagined VillageSaturday 23rd January 2010 @ Colston Hall, BristolWith Support From: Chris Wood

Any gig that has the audience shouting ‘bollocks!’ to Nick Griffin is definitely doing something right. Add to this the fact that many of those encouraged to joyously decry Nick’s recent appropriation of English folk music as an ‘alternative to the multi-cult junk played incessantly on Radio 1’, were kindly looking older ladies and balding gents, and you have a very magical experience indeed.

All those for whom ‘folk’ conjures images of rotund bearded chaps singing twee ballads about flaxen haired lasses however, have not encountered The Imagined Village. As the encouraging number of other youngens in attendance suggested, The Imagined Village, formed in 2004 as an endeavour to explore the identity of English music, is capable of attracting as diverse a fan base as the wealth of musicians who perform under its highly inclusive auspices (further from a BNP mentality you couldn’t get).

Tonight’s line-up, which constituted a delightful folk version of musical chairs, included folk royalty Martin Carthy, bhangra drummer Johny Kalsi, Afro Celt Sound System’s Simon Emmerson and Martin’s widely acclaimed daughter, Eliza Carthy, whose formidable fiddling was fused to sublime effect with Sheema Mukherjee’s mesmerisingly beautiful sitar.

My one gripe was that, when drum kit, guitars and bass were at full throttle, the endeavour to experiment with modernising folk led to a slightly too polished, homogenised sound, infinitely less interesting than the viscerally emotive scrape of a fiddle (and I’m no purist; my heart sank a little when the first lyric support act Chris Wood sang was ‘Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum…’). The slightly too flashy moments ultimately only served though to enhance my conviction that music doesn’t require ear-splitting volume and extensive production to be extremely powerful, and my enjoyment of the music’s subtler rhythmic impetuous and juxtaposition of styles. So, does such an experimental melting pot of musical traditions actually work? On the whole, a very resolute, bollocks-to-Nick-Griffin ‘yes’!

www.imaginedvillage.com

Jenny Roper

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Move OnSaturday 16th until Saturday 30th January 2010 @ The Grant Bradley Art Gallery,

Bristol

If there’s one thing you can say about Daniel Moncur-Sime, it’s that he knows how to get people involved. With a background in fashion and commercial photography, he’s a man who knows how to pinpoint what people want, and give it to them. On the first non-snowy day since Bristol whited out, that turned out to be, well, a bit of a laugh, some attention, and the chance to do something utterly different all in the name of art. Daniel’s Move On photography exhibition at the Grant Bradley Gallery in Bedminster is a whirl of abstract, blurred shots of dancers in weird and imaginative costumes (we particularly liked the one constructed solely of colourful ribbons). Rather than allowing us to merely admire the abstract images, Daniel took things a step further by inviting the public to come along for an open shoot and the chance to become part of the exhibition.

By midday on Jan 16th, the gallery was filled with fashion students eager to show off their textile talents, snow queens, dancers and masses of hula hoopers who could do more with a plastic kids’ toy than I knew was possible. After being thoroughly coiffed and made up by a professional stylist and makeup artist, the brave participants danced, wiggled, jumped around, or simply sat on a step and looked pensive, while Daniel snapped away, breaking off to provide one-on-one tips and advice to help his models get the best out of their time in front of the lens.

www.grantbradleygallery.co.uk

Judy Darley www.essentialwriters.com

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Wildlife Photographer of the Year 2009Saturday 5th December 2009 until Sunday 10th January 2010 @ Bristol City Museum and Art Gallery, Bristol

I am a great appreciator of Bristol City Museum’s exhibitions - apparently even Brangelina visited for the Banksy indulgence. We the Bristol collective are gleaning fame.

Anyway, the day I visited the Wildlife Photographer of the Year 2009 exhibit, my friend and I stopped first at a bench (naturally) in front of a slideshow of previous winners’ shots. A picture of a mountain goat flashes before us and a five-year-old next to us exclaims; ‘Oh, it’s a goat.’ Next up is a photograph with a view akin to the valley at the end of The Land Before Time but the constant zooming in takes away from these shots’ beauty and is a little patronising. There’s a wonderful shot entitled Terrapin Hot-Spot but this seems to bore the five-year-old, who is only interested in lions. Roar.

In this year’s display, The Full Lion with its bloody mane, in the Animal Portraits category is impressive but I prefer the highly commended Puffin In The Snow by Jan Vermeer. Andras Meszaros’ Raindrop Refresher is the winner of the unimaginatively titled Behaviour: All Other Animals category; it captures an ant drinking a drop of dew from a pink flower, which is kind of creepy but pretty amazing. There’s also the usual picture of hares fighting on another wall.

Two categories exist for young photographers - 10 years and under and 11-14 years – but, is it just me, does every 11-14 year old really holiday in Borneo and own an EOS–5D camera? The eminent child prodigies can’t have written the blurbs at least.

At the time, I think Jose Luis Rodriguez’s Storybook Wolf is a deserving overall winner but in the weeks since, there has been a delicious conspiracy spurred by other (perhaps jealous) wildlife photographers which asserts that the I-waited-many-years-for-this-shot-of-a-wolf-in- the-wild, is more like I-waited-many-years-for-a-shot-that-would-never-come-so-I-borrowed-a-wolf-and-paid-off-the-owners-alright? So, assuming allegations are true, my WILDlife photographer winner would have to be Penguin Looking At Human Tracks by Robert Friel as tweeted by the New Scientist pre-exhibition for a caption competition.

www.bristol.gov.uk

Sophie Collard

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Ali Baba And The Forty ThievesWednesday 9th December 2009 until Sunday 17th January 2010 @ Tobacco Factory Theatre, Bristol

This Christmas, the familiar venue of the Tobacco Factory Theatre has been transported into the deepest, darkest heart of Persia. Beautiful red and gold drapes delicately hang from the ceiling alongside stunning Moroccan lanterns, windows have been stain-glassed and forty colourful masks of the show’s thieves (made by local schools) line the walls. It’s a stunning transformation, typical of the sort of magic Travelling Light bring with them and it serves as a refreshing change from the same, tired old sickeningly Christmasy decorations that everywhere else adopts this time of year.

Local theatre company Travelling Light have a superb reputation, their previous family shows like Clown, Papa Please Get The Moon For Me and The Ugly Duckling living long in the memory of everyone who saw them, and their sparkle has been brought to the Tobacco Factory this Christmas with a brand new re-telling of Ali Baba And The Forty Thieves: Two brothers live in Persia; the honest Ali Baba and the greedy Kasim. The brothers are like chalk and cheese, but after they unwittingly find a magic cave where a gang of violent outlaws have been hiding their loot, the forty thieves will not rest until Ali and Kasim are dead.

The show itself is good fun if not quite up to Travelling Light’s usual, magical standards – the broad pitch of the humour sadly watering down the show’s charm – but Ali Baba is worth a watch simply to see the brilliant leader of the forty thieves. Anyone who witnessed the towering Felix Hayes’ Ghost of Christmas Past in A Christmas Carol last year will still feel the vibrations in their bowels from his unfathomably deep and powerful voice. Here he is in his element as the villain and Hayes torturing one of his number for failing him (pulling the arms off an Action Man) is the best comedy performance you will see this Christmas.

www.tobaccofactorytheatre.com

Matt Whittle

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Friday 4th December 2009 until Saturday 23rd January 2010 @ Bristol Old Vic, Bristol

This year’s Bristol Old Vic Christmas show is brimming with potential: Returning to the theatre for their fourth run-out are one of the country’s most exciting, innovative and altogether fantastic theatre companies, Kneehigh, and they’ve brought their adaptation of Hansel and Gretel; a universally well-known fairytale that has strong themes but still retains plenty of elbow room for interpretation and, as with all the best fairytales, has a seductively dark edge. These ingredients are the sort Kneehigh have thrived on in the past (as with 2005’s jaw-dropping Tristan and Yseult and their superb Don John earlier this year) and Hansel and Gretel is no different.

First impressions are good as the tight corridors on your way to the stalls have been decorated with crispy autumn leaves, abandoned leather armchairs and gingerbread men that hang from the ceiling. This intriguing fairytale forest is echoed in the costumes, Bavarian woodsmen meets The Borrowers, and also in the stylish set design; bare wooden planks, worn-out leather and rusty buckets all bathed in beautiful hues of orange and brown. The stage is also very open, allowing shadows to stretch endlessly, creating a set that is as wild and free as the forest. This fabulous design (only spoilt by the witch’s dress and a plastic Christmas tree at the end) instantly has everyone hooked and you can’t wait to follow Hansel and Gretel on their adventure.

The show is a whirlwind mix of physical theatre, song, mime, puppetry, dance and jokes and is a thrill to watch, even though the storytelling could have been a little clearer and we could have done without one or two of the self-indulgent set-pieces. Hansel and Gretel is a move away from the company’s usual mature and layered themes and although it lacks their usual gravity, aiming a lot of the humour at the younger audience members (well, it’s a family Christmas show after all), the show still retains Kneehigh’s insatiable sense of fun and the music performed live flawlessly throughout will have you whistling all the way home.

www.kneehigh.co.uk

Matt Whittle

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A Warning To The Curious: Part of the MR James TrilogyWednesday 20th January until Monday 8th February 2010 @ The Brewery, Bristol

Over the past twelve months, Robert Lloyd Parry has brought two shows based on the ghost stories of MR James to the Tobacco Factory Theatre; Oh, Whistle and A Pleasing Terror. Both nights were sell-outs. They went so well, in fact, that he has since been invited back and for the next three weeks you can watch Lloyd Parry every night at The Brewery; an opportunity to experience MR James’ A Warning To The Curious at its most intimate and spine-chilling best.

The Brewery’s theatre space lends itself perfectly to this show. The scale of the Tobacco Factory’s main auditorium meant Lloyd Parry was lost somewhat within it’s wide walls and you too, one within an audience of 250, but in the Brewery, a theatre with a capacity of 70, you are practically standing on Lloyd Parry’s toes, on his fingertips, in the palm of his hand. You are so close you can smell the candles burning, you can read the names on the spines of the books scattered around him and, most importantly, you are so close you can see every glint in his eye, every nuance of emotion in his face and body and are able to truly appreciate the masterful performance he gives.

He draws you in with nothing but a classical English delivery, a good set (a worn-out leather armchair, brandy glasses and books, dully illuminated by candlelight) and a good story but you’re hooked. It takes something really special to get your heart racing with such a simple set up but A Warning To The Curious manages it every time; was there something in the shadows there or was that just a trick of the light?

It is a wonderful show: A testament to the power of the spoken-word, the one-man show and the permanence of the works of MR James.

www.tobaccofactorytheatre.com

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Slapstick Silent Comedy Festival Gala ft. Michael PalinThursday 21st January 2010 @ Colston Hall, Bristol

Tonight is the opening event of Bristol’s 6th Silent Comedy Festival, a weeklong celebration of all things slapstick; or as tonight’s host, Graeme Garden, puts it; “visual comedy heaven.” Quite. The whole evening has a very calm, relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere and this is typified by a certain Michael Palin knocking around the Colston Hall foyer before proceedings get underway, smiling widely and signing autographs. He is the special, headline guest for tonight’s gala event and when we do start, no time is wasted in bringing him onstage. Palin and Garden sit in two ludicrously comfortable, golden armchairs and we spend the next 40 minutes having Palin’s comedy past thoroughly picked through.

We examine his youth, his influences, his university years, his early TV work, the Python years, Hollywood, and end by touching on his love of travel; “What is the funniest country you’ve ever been to?” inquires Garden and, with a laugh, Palin tells us all of the Czechs’ surprisingly good sense of humour. It’s all good natured and fun but is also all old ground and stuff that Palin has talked about at every interview he’s done for the last 10 years. He happily plays ball though and, to his credit, is charming and witty.

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The interview, though interesting, could have done with a bit more pep but just enough was provided by the three or four video interludes when we watched carefully selected visual comedy highlights of Palin’s (much) younger years; clips from Do Not Adjust Your Set, Monty Python and A Fish Called Wanda (amongst many others) provoking gales of laughter throughout Colston Hall.

A short interval follows and we are soon invited back in to watch a screening of Buster Keaton’s classic 1924 silent comedy, The Navigator – slapstick comedy at it’s finest – and as an extra special treat, the film is given a full band accompaniment by the European Silent Screen Virtuoso featuring piano, drums, double bass, clarinet and a certain Dick Williams on cornet (yes, he of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? fame). Their playing is flawless and provides the perfect soundtrack as Keaton battles swordfish, cannibals and stumbles his way through many other adventures on an ocean liner lost at sea.

The night was put together very slickly and provided the perfect opening event to Bristol’s 6th Festival of Slapstick. There are plenty of other events on throughout the

week so get onto the website and get laughing!

www.slapstick.org.uk

Matt Whittle

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AvatarShowing December 2009 until January 2010 @ Showcase Cinema Delux, Bristol

Wounded and paralysed from the waist down, Jack Sully is an ex-marine who is thrust back into the heart of action on the secluded planet of Pandora, which harbours material that sells for millions back on Earth. Greedy to control such rich resources by any means, the marines use Jack as an avatar (a mind in some-one else’s body) to infiltrate behind enemy lines and see if he can identify ways to eradicate the rare Na’vi species from the inside out. Events don’t turn out so easy for Jack as once he discovers the disasters humans are inflicting on the rare planet, he soon finds himself fighting for a different side.

We embrace a return to form for Michelle Rodriguez as her acting is propelled from the Resident Evil days to a much more delightful level. Also Sigourney Weaver who is still just as important now as she was when she starred in Alien, adds a perfect and somewhat essential backbone to the list of actors already included.

I strongly commend you experience this in 3D or IMAX as this will top the already outstanding narrative and grind out all the beautiful CGI effects you might miss if you were to watch it when its contained onto DVD. This project is ten years in the making so it is obviously going to come with its fair share of hype and a heavy amount of expectation, this really is nothing to worry about for James Cameron as all of these queries are executed. Avatar has set itself apart from every other science fiction piece out there: It’s unique, modern and defiantly class. I can already foresee this surpassing the majority of films that are released this forthcoming decade. Enjoy.

www.avatarmovie.com

Andrew Dex

A SLY look forward at February

Previews of all the best gigs, art, clubs, stage and cinema coming up next month in Bristol

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NME Awards Tour 2010Sunday 14th February 2010 @ Academy, Bristol

The Maccabees, Bombay Bicycle Club, The Big Pink and The Drums make up the line-up for this year’s NME Awards Tour. This touring show is always a highlight in the year’s gigging calendar, in the past featuring Arctic Monkeys, Kaiser Chiefs, Maximo Park to name but a few. Who knows where these 4 bands will be this time next year?

www.nme.com

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Other Recommended Gigs for February in Bristol

Fionn ReganThursday 18th February 2010 @ Thekla

Marina and The DiamondsMonday 22nd February 2010 @ The Cooler

Hot ChipWednesday 24th February 2010 @ Academy

Los Campesinos!Saturday 27th February 2010 @ Thekla

Katey BrooksSaturday 27th February 2010 @ Thunderbolt

Lost ProphetsSunday 28th February 2010 @ Academy

BonecrusherMonday 1st February 2010 @ Academy

Jamie TWednesday 3rd February 2010 @ Academy

BellowheadWednesday 3rd February 2010 @ Bristol Old Vic

ToyfaceSaturday 6th February 2010 @ The Junction

FanfarloTuesday 9th February 2010 @ Thekla

Iglu and HartlyWednesday 10th February 2010 @ Thekla

Imogen HeapThursday 11th February 2010 @ Academy

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Recommended Art for February in BristolThe Shape of ThingsSaturday 6th February until Sunday 19th April 2010 @ Bristol City Museum and Art Gallery, BristolThe shape of things explores the distinctive contribution artists make to influence or reflect national identity, the intercultural nature of British society and its connection with global cultures.www.theshapeofthings.org.uk

Dirty LaundryFriday 19th February until Sunday 21st March 2010 @ Weapon of Choice Gallery, BristolWeapon of Choice Gallery presents Dirty Laundry, an exhibition of recent artwork by Mick Hockney. His work is a response to a year of rolling news, from politics to climate change, from corporate stupidity to prejudice. Instead of hurling a brick at the TV, he aims his brush at a range of targets, attacking hubris with humour. He has developed a direct graphic style that makes use of hand cut stencils, flat colour and freehand painting. www.weaponofchoicegallery.co.uk

Imogen StidworthySaturday 27th February until Sunday 25th April 2010 @ Arnolfini, BristolArnolfini presents this first major solo exhibition in the UK of work by Imogen Stidworthy. The artist has developed a strong international reputation for her film and audio-video installation-based work, in which she examines the various dimensions of language such as the voice, dysfunctions of speech or processes of translation, and their use in public space.www.arnolfini.org.uk

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Recommended clubbing for February in BristolPressureEvery Thursday @ Thekla, Bristol

Penguin Dance At Skins HouseThursday 4th February 2010 @ Bridewell Island, Bristol

Birthday Party Friday – ft. Late of The Pier DJFriday 5th February 2010 @ Start The Bus

Champion Sound: The ReturnFriday 19th February 2010 @ Lakota, Bristol

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A Midsummer’s Night DreamThursday 11th February until Sunday 21st March 2010 @ Tobacco Factory Theatre, Bristol

On the eve of the marriage of Theseus, Duke of Athens (and famed slayer of the Minotaur), to Hippolyta, Queen of the Amazons, four much younger lovers find themselves lost and dangerously at odds in the midnight world of Oberon and Titania, King and Queen of the Fairies. Shakespeare’s most famous and popular comedy is a play for all ages and for all time.www.tobaccofactorytheatre.com

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Other Recommended Stage for February in BristolBristol Storytelling Festival 2010Saturday 30th January until Sunday 7th February 2010 @ Various Venues, BristolA week-long series of events celebrating the magic of stories and storytelling held during National Storytelling Week.www.bristolstoryfest.co.uk

The Country WifeThursday 11th until Saturday 20th February 2010 @ Bristol Old Vic, BristolBanned from the stage for almost 200 years, The Country Wife is one of the rudest and funniest comedies of the Restoration period.www.bristololdvic.org.uk

John Bishop: Elvis Has Left The BuildingSunday 14th February 2010 @ Tobacco Factory Theatre, BristolIf much of the art of stand-up is recreating the feeling of chatting in the pub with your pals, this likeable Scouser has it sussed.www.tobaccofactorytheatre.com

PedestrianWednesday 24th until Saturday 27th February 2010 @ Bristol Old Vic, BristolTalking to myself, I walk for an eternity down a never-ending pedestrianised shopping concourse, pursued by a giant fish. Along the way I run a gauntlet of chuggers, escape a riot, grope a stranger, lose my mind in Tesco metro, find God, and return to Earth to be met by a line of kabaddi-playing goldfish ushering in the apocalypse.www.bristololdvic.org.uk

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Recommended Cinema for February in BristolA ProphetFriday 22nd January until Thursday 11th February 2010 @ Watershed, BristolAudiard delivers his best film to date in this powerful, astonishingly detailed prison thriller that is already being described as an instant classic to rival the great crime films.www.watershed.co.uk

Sex and Drugs And Roll And RollFriday 5th until Thursday 11th February 2010 @ Watershed, BristolAndy Serkis brings the late singer, song writer, and activist Ian Dury to radical, angry, provocative life in this raw, unflinching biopic of the talented, troubled man.www.watershed.co.uk

Aquarius: The TV is talking to you this month. There are encoded messages in the adverts, especially ones for feminine hygiene products. If you fail to follow these messages the world will end.

Pisces: This month is your lucky month! Nothing can go wrong, no matter what you do. You can run across the motorway, slap a bouncer, kick a bulldog, anything! Try it. You can trust Mystic…

Aries: With Saturn, planet of crochet and shortbread, ruling your chart, embrace your inner granny. Her name is Glenda. Come out, Glenda. Come on out. Your Aries host will take you to feed the ducks.

Taurus: Romance is just around the corner this month. Always just around the corner. I think it’s avoiding you. Maybe it’s your hair. Or your breath.

Gemini: This month is a rocky road for you, which is great if you like marshmallows. Next month is kippers, so enjoy yourself now.

Cancer: This month contains flashing lights and scenes of quite disturbing nudity. Your lucky exclamation: “Heavens to Murgatroid!”

Leo: Smarties have the answer this month. Think of a question, shake the tube, spill them out and look for patterns in the colours. Do not eat them. Things will be very bad if you eat them. Or if two yellow ones are touching.

Virgo: A prank backfires this month. Or possibly a backside is set on fire as a prank. You will work out which it is when it happens. Sorry, it’s just I’m on a train so my crystal ball has dodgy signal.

Libra: Unattended packages will be removed and destroyed this month so attend to yours. It needs doing anyway. At least give it a wash and a trim. No wonder you are lonely.

Scorpio: Recessions are unlucky for you this month so try to stay away from those. You may need to bury yourself in the garden but it’ll be worth it in the long run.

Sagittarius: Your fingers are in danger this month, so try not to use them at all. Your lucky interior decor: bachelor-pad-style leather and chrome.

Capricorn: This month is a bad one for those Capricorns who are dinosaurs when it turns out they are all dead. It’s very sad – everyone liked them.

SY On The Sly – February IssueEditor: Matt Whittle / matt@suityourselfmagazine.co.ukCEO: Faye Westrop / faye@suityourselfmagazine.co.ukDesign and Illustration: James Penfold / penfold@suityourselfmagazine.co.uk

Front Cover Design: Elena Goodrum

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part without the permission of Suit Yourself Magazine.

Suit Yourself Magazine and SY On The Sly are independent publications distributed throughout Bristol.

Advertising Enquiries: faye@suityourselfmagazine.co.uk

Contributors for Issue:Sophie Collard, Judy Darley, Andrew Dex, Anna Freeman, James Harper, Chloe Jackson, Jenny Roper, Faye Westrop, Matt Whittle