Paradox and Passion:Paradox and Passion:Existential Therapy and the Human Existential Therapy and the Human

DilemmaDilemmaStockholm 7 May 2010Stockholm 7 May 2010

Emmy van Deurzen

Emmy van DeurzenEmmy van Deurzen

•Honorary Professor University of Sheffield•Visiting Professor Middlesex University•Professor Schiller International University•Director Dilemma Consultancy Ltd.•Director Existential Academy Ltd. •Director New School of Psychotherapy and Counselling-London

www.existentialpsychotherapy.netwww.dilemmas.orgwww.nspc.org.ukwww.existentialacademy.com

Author of Books on Existential Author of Books on Existential Psychotherapy and CounsellingPsychotherapy and Counselling

Existential SupervisionExistential Supervision

• Edited by Emmy van Deurzen and Sarah Young

RECENT BOOK: RECENT BOOK: 20092009

2010:2010:1. Second Edition Everyday Mysteries1. Second Edition Everyday Mysteries2. Skills in Existential Counselling and 2. Skills in Existential Counselling and

PsychotherapyPsychotherapy

ForthcomingForthcoming

• Emotional Well Being and Health, with Digby Tantam, London: Sage, 2010

Other books underwayOther books underway

•Existential couple work (co-ed)Existential couple work (co-ed)

•Existential coaching (co-ed)Existential coaching (co-ed)

•Third edition: Existential Third edition: Existential Counselling and Psychotherapy in Counselling and Psychotherapy in

PracticePractice

Today: introduction to existential Today: introduction to existential ideas and their focus on ideas and their focus on

paradox and passionparadox and passion

• Socrates: the unreflected life is not worth living. The good life is passionately lived.

What does it mean to live well?What does it mean to live well?

Not in the sense of martyrdom, Not in the sense of martyrdom, sacrifice and sufferingsacrifice and suffering

In the sense of living life to the In the sense of living life to the full in all its stark reality and full in all its stark reality and

contradictionscontradictions

Camus: SisyphusCamus: Sisyphus

• There is but one truly serious philosophical problem and that is … whether life is or is not worth living.

(Camus: The Myth of Sisyphus)

• Is rolling the stone up the hill sufficient to fill a human heart?

Dark ages of therapy:Dark ages of therapy:blind leading the blind.blind leading the blind.

Descartes’ belief in doubt.Descartes’ belief in doubt.1596-16501596-1650

I realized that it was necessary, once in the I realized that it was necessary, once in the course of my life, to demolish everything course of my life, to demolish everything completely and start again right from the completely and start again right from the

foundations if I wanted to establish anything foundations if I wanted to establish anything at all. (Meditations II, p.12.)at all. (Meditations II, p.12.)

Descartes worldviewDescartes worldviewcogito ergo sumcogito ergo sum

““THE ROOTS ARE METAPHYSICS, THE ROOTS ARE METAPHYSICS, THE TRUNK IS PHYSICS, AND THE THE TRUNK IS PHYSICS, AND THE BRANCHES EMERGING FROM THE BRANCHES EMERGING FROM THE TRUNK ARE ALL THE OTHER TRUNK ARE ALL THE OTHER SCIENCES, WHICH MAY BE REDUCED SCIENCES, WHICH MAY BE REDUCED TO THREE PRINCIPAL ONES, NAMELY TO THREE PRINCIPAL ONES, NAMELY MEDICINE, MECHANICS AND MEDICINE, MECHANICS AND MORALS”MORALS”

Descartes: principles of philosophy:

tree of philosophy

School School of Lifeof Life

We are all students in themetaphorical school of lif e.Here none of us can aff ord tobecome discouraged ordespairing.

(Szasz 1962: 273)

Psychotherapy Psychotherapy as a beaconas a beacon

• ‘perhaps the relationship between the modern psychotherapist and his patient is a beacon that ever-increasing numbers of men will find themselves forced to follow, lest they become spiritually enslaved or physically destroyed’ (Szasz 1962:272).

Existential ApproachExistential Approach

The existential approach to The existential approach to counselling and counselling and

psychotherapy is a psychotherapy is a philosophical method for philosophical method for

understanding human understanding human difficulties. difficulties.

HUMAN CONDITIONHUMAN CONDITION

It focuses on the way in which the It focuses on the way in which the individual struggles with the individual struggles with the human condition and in particular human condition and in particular with our inevitable limitations: with our inevitable limitations: only if we deal with the negatives only if we deal with the negatives are the positives on option: are the positives on option: paradox and conflictparadox and conflict are central to are central to the approach. the approach.

Can we have enduring Can we have enduring happiness ?happiness ?

• Happiness and unhappiness are twins that grow up together. (Nietzsche, 1882: 270)

• We need to get to know both sides of life.

Neither positive nor negativeNeither positive nor negative

What is paradoxWhat is paradoxin therapy?in therapy?Only to the extent that we accept polarities, conflicts and contradictions do we learn to live with truth

Onto-dynamics rather than psycho-dynamics:

Life is tension between opposites

Making sense of lifeMaking sense of life

Energy is the flow Energy is the flow between two polesbetween two poles

Source: kidzoneweather.com Source: kidzoneweather.com

future

Thesis: my view(past )

Antithesis: your view(present)

Dialectics: Dialectics: transcendence in spacetranscendence in space

Synthesis:a wider view

DesiresDesires FearsFears

Physical (earth)Physical (earth) LifeLifepleasurepleasure

DeathDeathpainpain

Social (world)Social (world) LoveLovebelongingbelonging

HateHateisolationisolation

Personal (man)Personal (man) IdentityIdentityintegrityintegrity

FreedomFreedomdisintegrationdisintegration

Spiritual (gods)Spiritual (gods) GoodGoodpurposepurpose

EvilEvilfutilityfutility

Dimensions and Tensions of Human ExistenceDimensions and Tensions of Human Existence

  DESIRES FEARS VALUES

PHYSICAL life death vitality

SOCIAL love hate reciprocity

PERSONAL identity freedom integrity

SPIRITUAL good evil transparency

Human values rediscovered.Human values rediscovered.

Aim of existential therapy.Aim of existential therapy.

Enable clients to tell the truth about their lives and themselves.

Help them live passionately and to the full. Facilitate their greater understanding of

the human condition and its contradictions.Recognize strengths and weaknesses and

make the most of both.Learn to feel confident about living no

matter what may come

Existential approach not a Existential approach not a techniquetechnique

• It is a worldview

• Integration of method

• Addresses universal problems

• Provides philosophical questioning and logic tools

• Non prescriptive

Life as the guide and the goal. Life as the guide and the goal. • What are the life issues this client is preoccupied

with?• What understanding of these does the therapist

have?• What are the client’s values and project?

• How can I enhancemy ownengagement with theseissues, values and projects?

Questions instead of answersQuestions instead of answers

• What does it mean to be alive? Who am I? What is the purpose of my existence? How should we live? What can I hope to achieve? Is happiness possible? What is expected of me? How should I act and be in relation to other people? Is there fairness in the world? Can I make a change for the better? Is it possible to understand life and get a grip on it? Can I find ways of overcoming my troubles? Is it necessary to suffer this much? How can I be a better person and live a worthwhile life?

Authority over Authority over the illusions the illusions of our lives:of our lives:

we are nothingwe are nothing

 

In this sense it is necessary that we make ourselves what we are. But what are we then if we have the constant obligation to make ourselves what we are….? Man is the being through whom nothingness comes to the world. (Sartre, 1943:59)

Paradox and tensions of Paradox and tensions of existence. existence.

Existential approach: related to, but not the same as positive psychology and well-being research: Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Ed Diener, Ruut Veenhoven, Martin Seligman. The tragic depth of being human is as important as human potential and joy.

Existential therapy:Existential therapy:Reflecting on living in search of truthReflecting on living in search of truth

• Therapists clarify ethical problems and problems in living. They ask questions:

• What is the person’s worldview?• What is their situation?• What are their values?• What is their purpose in life?• What has been their fate?• What is their destiny?• What are their struggles?• What are their talents?• What are their yearnings?• What are their connections to the world and others?• What is their attitude?• What are their actions?

Different aspects of therapeutic Different aspects of therapeutic relationshiprelationship

Wheels within wheelsWheels within wheels

Being me

Being me

Landscapes of our lifeLandscapes of our life

• Understand the Lebenswelt:the world in which we live

1.How do we experience the world?2.What does our life landscape look like?3.Where are we going?

Objective of therapy. Objective of therapy.

• Helping a person rediscover their vision. • It is about seeing and overseeing the

situation of their life.• Widening their horizon.• Helicopter view of life.• A chance to get some perspective and make

new connections. • Understand a bit more about human

existence. • Encouragement to live. • Liberation.

Process of existential workProcess of existential work

• Directive versus non-directive: be direct and directional instead.

• Situation and relation to world on four dimensions:be aware of paradox and polarities.

• How is the person situated:

use emotional compass. • Connect to worldview and purpose.

Work on:Work on:

• Shift your client’s perception of their world by looking at it from different angles.

• Help them to be more forthright in establishing relationships and encountering others in a direct and real way.

• Help them understand their own experience, situation, dilemma and purpose.

• Help them face up to underlying human issues, contradictions, possibilities, limits.

Become aware of your own bias: outlook, assumptions, beliefs, prejudice, blind spots.

Locate and articulate the client’s worldview and life space.

No judgements. Understanding rather than interpretation. Recognizing difference.

Work with bias.Work with bias.

Values and context Values and context

• Recognize your clients’ values and differentiate them from your own.

• Learn to read and understand the text of the client’s life, find the narrative point of gravity, the subtext and the context.

• Take into account the social, cultural and political dimension of the client’s life. Put this in context with your own worldview and beliefs.

Existential Space Existential Space

Physical space

Social space

Personal space

Spiritual space

Your own little sphere of Your own little sphere of existence mattersexistence matters

Imagine a person like a sphereImagine a person like a sphere

That person is located in a universe That person is located in a universe with other planets, stars, suns, with other planets, stars, suns,

moons and spheresmoons and spheres

Sphere as a planet or a cell: micro Sphere as a planet or a cell: micro or macro level. or macro level.

If a cell: connection with other cells, If a cell: connection with other cells, function and internal constitution function and internal constitution

are paramountare paramount

If planet: orbit and position If planet: orbit and position mattermatter

Merleau Pont: Visible and InvisibleMerleau Pont: Visible and Invisible

• Things are structures – frameworks – the stars of our life: they gravitate around us. Yet there is a secret bond between

us and them –

through perception

we enter into the

essence of the flesh

(Visible and Invisible: 220)

You experience yourself as having You experience yourself as having a nucleus: a core, a heart or a soula nucleus: a core, a heart or a soul

Perhaps we are more like suns, Perhaps we are more like suns, generating heat and lightgenerating heat and light

Solar anatomy Solar anatomy

Layers of the sunLayers of the sun

• Corona, chromosphere, photosphere, convection zone, and core.

Layers of a person’s life.Layers of a person’s life.

4.Physical: Umwelt

3.Social: Mitwelt

2.Personal: Eigenwelt

1.Spiritual: Uberwelt

Merleau Ponty: soulMerleau Ponty: soul

• The soul is the hollow of the body, the body is the distension of the soul. The soul adheres to the body as their signification adheres to the cultural things, whose reverse or other side it is. (233)

Layers of a person’s life.Layers of a person’s life.

4.Physical: Umwelt

3.Social: Mitwelt

2.Personal: Eigenwelt

1.Spiritual: Uberwelt

Spiritual:Good/Evil

Intuitions, values, beliefs, purpose, meaning.Worldview/Ideas.

Personal:Strength/Weakness

Thoughts, memories, identity, freedom.Selfhood/Me.

Social:Love/Hate

Feelings, relations, belonging, acknowledgement.Communication/Others.

Physical:

Life/DeathSensations, actions, environment, body, things.

Survival/World.

Dimensions of existenceDimensions of existence

Different perspectivesDifferent perspectives

• Depending on where we stand light refracts differently through the prism of life.

Our emotions colour our Our emotions colour our worldviewworldview

• They create different atmospheres at different times.

Emotions are our orientation.Emotions are our orientation.

• Emotions are like the weather: never none.• They are the way we relate to the world. • They define the mood of the moment.• They are our atmosphere and modality.• They tell us where we are. • Learn to tune in rather than tune out. • Use the emotional compass.

Formulate the questions by finding Formulate the questions by finding the atmosphere and the mood.the atmosphere and the mood.

• When we master a mood, we do so by way of a counter-

mood; we are never free of moods. (Heidegger 1927:136)

pridepride

jealousyjealousy

anger-anger-despairdespair

fearfear

sorrowsorrowshameshame

envyenvy

hope-hope-desiredesire

lovelove

joyjoy

SadnessSadnessLowLow

HappinessHappinessHighHigh

AnxietyAnxietyExcitementExcitementEngagementEngagement

DepressionDepressionDisappointmentDisappointmentDisengagementDisengagement

1:Pride-confidence-arrogance1:Pride-confidence-arrogance

2:Jealousy-worry-vigilance2:Jealousy-worry-vigilance

3:Anger-hate-despair3:Anger-hate-despair

4:Fear-confusion-cowardice4:Fear-confusion-cowardice

5:Sorrow-misery-resignation5:Sorrow-misery-resignationShame-emptiness-guilt:7Shame-emptiness-guilt:7

Envy-curiosity-aspiration:8Envy-curiosity-aspiration:8

Hope-desire-resolve:9Hope-desire-resolve:9

Love-courage-commitment:10Love-courage-commitment:10

Joy-thrill-excitement:11Joy-thrill-excitement:11

6. Low 6. Low DespondencyDespondencyDepressionDepression

ExhilarationExhilarationHappiness Happiness 12:High12:High

UpUpgaingain

DownDownlossloss

Emotional Emotional Compass Compass

The colour of emotionThe colour of emotion

Depressed worldviewDepressed worldview

GreedGreed

StinginessStinginess

FrustrationFrustration

DisgustDisgust

PainPainNeedNeed

CravingCraving

ExcitemenExcitementt

LustLust

PleasurePleasure

DeprivationDeprivationEmptinessEmptiness

SatisfactionSatisfactionFullnessFullness

GainGainSurvivalSurvival

LossLossThreatThreat

Compass of Compass of Physical SensationPhysical Sensation

CareCare

JealousyJealousy

AngerAnger

FearFear

RejectionRejectionShameShame

EnvyEnvy

ApprovalApproval

LoveLove

AcceptanceAcceptance

IsolationIsolationSeparatenessSeparateness

BelongingBelongingOnenessOneness

EngagementEngagement DisengagementDisengagement

Compass of Social Compass of Social FeelingFeeling

SuperioritySuperiority

StubbornnessStubbornness

DefianceDefiance

DeflationDeflation

HumiliationHumiliationInferiorityInferiority

AnxietyAnxiety

CourageCourage

CommitmentCommitment

ConfidenceConfidence

ImperfectionImperfectionWeaknessWeakness

PerfectionPerfectionStrengthStrength

SuccessSuccess FailureFailure

Compass of Compass of Personal ThinkingPersonal Thinking

PridePride

PrudencePrudence

WrathWrath

ResignationResignation

DisillusionmentDisillusionmentGuiltGuilt

AspirationAspiration

HopeHope

ResolutenessResoluteness

BlissBliss

FutilityFutilityAbsurdityAbsurdity

Meaning Meaning PurposePurpose

GoodGood EvilEvil

Compass of Spiritual Compass of Spiritual IntuitionIntuition

Rising above your emotionsRising above your emotions

• Above the clouds the weather is steady even when it rains below.

• Transcending our own situation and emotions allows us to understand our own response.

Anton ChekhovAnton Chekhov

• Any idiot can face a crisis –

• it’s day to day living

that wears you out

Marcus AureliusMarcus Aurelius

• It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live

• The paradox is that death, troubles, labour, failures, pain and sorrow are unavoidable and necessary

• They are the things that wake you up to awareness and that open you to life

• Yet some troubles are more like catastrophes

When crisis strikes our When crisis strikes our lives are revolutionizedlives are revolutionized

In the whirlwind of change we In the whirlwind of change we need to find steadiness, need to find steadiness,

persistence and resiliencepersistence and resilience

Rita’s GriefRita’s Grief

• When I speak to Rita, who is grieving over her husband and small son who have perished in a car accident, the words that I say to her at first hardly reach her.

• She is in a place of relative safety deep inside of herself, in a state of suspended animation behind the façade that she turns to the world. She barely engages with people at all.

Rita’s grief 2Rita’s grief 2

• At first it is not my words that make the link to her world, but the consistency that I can offer in being attentive and careful to not hurt her further or push her too hard.

• I spend nearly half an hour in relative silence with Rita, at times formulating her fear on her behalf, gently, tentatively, checking for verification by noting her response.

Rita’s grief 3Rita’s grief 3

• Mostly the work consists of me letting myself be touched by her suffering and learning to tolerate her pain with her, so that I can offer reactions and words that soothe and move her forward to a place where she can begin to face what has happened to her so shockingly out of the blue. In this process she guides me and exposes more and more of her nightmarish universe to me as she perceives me as capable of venturing further into it with her.

Meaning and PurposeMeaning and Purpose

• Find out what the inner landscape of a person is: what is meaningful to them.

• Find out what your purpose in life is.

ResilienceResilience

• How do people overcome obstacles?• How do they survive difficulties, crises, trauma?• Are there personal qualities that enable a person

to be resilient?• Are there certain ways of being that are more

conducive to survival and learning from traumatic experience?

• Role of creative use of trauma. • Happiness is a genetic given for 50% of our

happiness quotient.• How do we live well?

RitaRita

World Physical Social Personal Spiritual

Umwelt Take interest in objects, space

Meet others Relate to own body again

Recognize value

Mitwelt Leave dead behind

Love dead still Find self valid Find others valid

Eigenwelt Recover sense of self care

Rediscover love

Love self Find project

Uberwelt Make sense of disaster

Life with others is worthwhile

I am me and this matters

There is a purpose to it all

Existential ApproachExistential Approach

The existential approach to The existential approach to counselling and counselling and

psychotherapy is a psychotherapy is a philosophical method for philosophical method for

understanding human understanding human difficulties: not in order to difficulties: not in order to eliminate problems but in eliminate problems but in

order to face them to thrive order to face them to thrive on them. on them.

Getting help from the Getting help from the philosophers. philosophers.

• For some it is all darkness; for me too, it is dark. But there are hands there I can take, voices to hear solider than the echoes without. And sometimes a strange light shines, purer than the moon, casting no shadow, that is the halo upon the bones of the pioneers who died for truth.

R.S. Thomas, Groping:99.

EXISTENTIAL PHILOSOPHERSEXISTENTIAL PHILOSOPHERS

Philosophers Philosophers ofof

freedomfreedom

Pheno-Pheno-

menologymenologyExistentialisExistentialis

mmPost-Post-modernismmodernism

SSÖÖren ren KierkegaardKierkegaard

1813-18551813-1855

Franz BrentanoFranz Brentano

1838-19171838-1917Jean Paul Jean Paul

SartreSartre

1905-19801905-1980

Michel Michel FoucaultFoucault

1926-19841926-1984

Friedrich Friedrich NietzscheNietzsche

1844-19001844-1900

Edmund Edmund HusserlHusserl

1859-19381859-1938

Maurice Maurice Merleau PontyMerleau Ponty

1908-19611908-1961

Paul RicoeurPaul Ricoeur

1913-20051913-2005

Karl JaspersKarl Jaspers

1883-19691883-1969Martin Martin

HeideggerHeidegger

1889-19761889-1976

Albert CamusAlbert Camus

1913-19601913-1960Jacques Jacques DerridaDerrida

1931-20041931-2004

Existential PhilosophersExistential Philosophers

• Kierkegaard Nietzsche Husserl Jaspers Heidegger Sartre de Beauvoir Buber Camus Merleau Ponty Foucault

Existential PractitionersExistential Practitioners

• Binswanger Boss Frankl

• Tillich May Laing

Living happily or living well: an Living happily or living well: an existential viewexistential view

• Crystallization of discontent may be the beginning of insight into what is wrong.

• Conflict, dilemmas and problems are an intrinsic part of being alive

• Being cured of difficulties is the death of possibility and creativity

Tillich’s Courage to BeTillich’s Courage to Be

• Courage is the universal self-affirmation of one’s Being in the presence of the threat of non-Being(Tillich 1952:163).

Integrating non being: Paul Integrating non being: Paul Tillich: 1886-1965 Tillich: 1886-1965

• A neurotic person can take on board only a little bit of non-being

• The average person can take on a limited amount of non-being

• The creative person can accommodate a large amount of non-being

• God can tolerate an infinite amount of non-being.

The negatives that are positivesThe negatives that are positives

• Anxiety far from being something to shun and treat as a symptom to eliminate is the source of energy that makes us come to life

• Our capacity for despair is what makes us deep and capable of feeling, empathy and creativity

• Without suffering our lives would have less

meaning • To be human is to be conscious and be aware of

lack, trouble, difficulty and strife.

Being-in-the-worldBeing-in-the-world

Frankl’s way to meaningFrankl’s way to meaning

•Experiential valuesExperiential values: what we : what we take from the world.take from the world.

•Creative valuesCreative values: what we give to : what we give to the world.the world.

•Attitudinal valuesAttitudinal values:the way we :the way we deal with suffering.deal with suffering.

Baumeister (1991) Baumeister (1991) Meanings of LifeMeanings of Life

• Baumeister’s four basic needs for meaning:

1. Need for purpose (spiritual)

2. Need for value (social)

3. Need for efficacy (physical)

4. Need for self-worth (personal)• It is the process of going in the general

direction of these four objectives that makes for a good life.

The right level of challengeThe right level of challenge

• To live a meaningful life and have goals and values is not enough: you must also feel you are capable of achieving these things.

• ‘It is necessary to find moderately difficult tasks to maintain that middle ground between boredom (too easy) and anxiety (too hard).’ (Baumeister, 1991: 41)

UmweltUmwelt MitweltMitwelt EigenweltEigenwelt UberweltUberwelt

PhysicalPhysicalsurvivalsurvival

NatureNature ThingsThings BodyBody CosmosCosmos

SocialSocialaffiliationaffiliation

PublicPublic OthersOthers EgoEgo CultureCulture

PersonalPersonalidentityidentity

PrivatePrivate MeMe SelfSelf ConsciousnessConsciousness

SpiritualSpiritualmeaningmeaning

Sacred Sacred GodGod SoulSoul TranscendenceTranscendence

Different dimensions of the four Different dimensions of the four spheres of existencespheres of existence

Project, praxis, dialecticsProject, praxis, dialectics

• ‘Man is characterised above all by his going beyond a situation and by what he succeeds in making of what he has been made. This is what we call the project. (Sartre, Search for a Method: 91).

• We define project by praxis. Action, passion and reflection.

Constant transcendence and dialectical progression.

Find your own wayFind your own way

Be clear of your goal and make the most of Be clear of your goal and make the most of the journeythe journey

Learn to live deliberately rather than by Learn to live deliberately rather than by defaultdefault

Emotional well beingEmotional well being

• An ability to creatively encounter challenges, losses and crises

• Capacity for re-establishing equilibrium through strong, dynamic centre of narrative gravity

• Enjoyment of life, appreciation of physical

world, others, self-worth and meaning.

Magritte:Magritte:Empire of Empire of

Lights.Lights.

Learning to live with paradox and the tensions of life

Tillich, 1966:15Tillich, 1966:15

‘Truth is f ound in the midst ofstruggle and destiny, not as Platotaught, in an unchanging beyond. ‘(Tillich,1966:15)

Kierkegaard’s paradoxKierkegaard’s paradox• Personhood is a synthesis of

possibility and necessity. • Its continued existence is like

breathing (respiration), • which is an inhaling and exhaling.• (Kierkegaard, Sickness unto Death: 40)

Inspiration and expirationInspiration and expiration

pridepride

jealousyjealousy

anger-anger-despairdespair

fearfear

sorrowsorrowshameshame

envyenvy

hope-hope-desiredesire

lovelove

joyjoy

SadnessSadnessLowLow

HappinessHappinessHighHigh

AnxietyAnxietyExcitementExcitementEngagementEngagement

DepressionDepressionDisappointmentDisappointmentDisengagementDisengagement

 

Accept unspoken givens of life: engage with them:

Human evolution from: passionate engagement with problems and conflicts: understanding and overcoming

Rely on your Rely on your capacity to face capacity to face

whatever whatever may come.may come.

Optimal livingOptimal living

All living things are struggling for existence, even unwittingly and unwillingly. They struggle passively just to exist, to be left in what seems to be peace and quiet; and they struggle actively to grow and to expand. (Jaspers,1951:204)

Loving your LifeLoving your Life

To live well is to live in harmony with your own life and to love it in all its manifestations (Nietzsche’s Amor Fati)

Challenges and difficulties to be welcomed : life as an adventure

Increase capacity for feeling or decrease it More feeling means more suffering and more reality. Less

suffering means to care less and be less sensitive, but also less tuned in to life and less creative

The choice is yours. Your life belongs to you.

www.existentialpsychotherapy.netwww.dilemmas.orgwww.nspc.org.ukwww.existentialacademy.com

Values and actions to make you Values and actions to make you feel good and strong and true feel good and strong and true

instead of happy.instead of happy.1. Earning your keep with your own labour2. Understanding others3. Pondering your own motivations4. Reflecting on your life5. Living true to your own values6. Living in line with the purpose and truth of human existence. 7. Contributing more to the world than you take from it. 8. Respecting nature and the universe9. Making your life matter 10.Loving as much as you can. 11.Being prepared for change and transformation. 12.Knowing when to be resolute and when to let go. 13.Having rules to live by and change them when necessary.

Background action to make life Background action to make life right.right.

• to be healthy and look after your body the best way possible. • to enjoy what is free in the world and be close to nature• to be loving with others and care for someone deeply. • to respect and esteem yourself and make sure others do too. • to find concrete goals worth putting your whole energy into. • to learn to question things and not take anything for granted• to find life interesting and relish every minute• to be prepared to let things go and be ready to die • to strive for wisdom and excellence• to be content and find routines that satisfy you • to achieve something, whatever, and leave the world a better place

than you found it.

Phenomenological MethodPhenomenological MethodI. Phenomenological reduction

• Noesis

II. Eidetic reduction• Noema

III. Transcendental reduction• Cogito

Find a new perspectiveFind a new perspective

IntentionalityIntentionality

• Cogito(subject):transcendental reduction• Noesis(process):phenomenological reduction• Noema(object):eidetic reduction

Finding space and direction.Finding space and direction.

I.Phenomenological reductionI.Phenomenological reduction

1. Noesis.

2. Epoche: suspend assumptions.

3. Description.

4. Horizontalization.

5. Equalization.

6. Verification.

II. Eidetic ReductionII. Eidetic Reduction

1. Noema.

2. Abschattungen:profiles.

3. Wesenschau: looking for essences.

4. Genetic constitution (vs. static).

5. Universals beyond the properties.

III. Transcendental reductionIII. Transcendental reduction

– 1. Cogito.– 2. Transcendental ego.– 3. Solipsism overcome.– 4. Horizon of intentionality.– 5. Self as point zero.– 4. Transcendental intersubjectivity.

Become aware of your own bias: outlook, assumptions, beliefs, prejudice, blind spots.

Locate and articulate the client’s worldview and life space.

No judgements. Understanding rather than interpretation.

Work with bias.Work with bias.

Therapist biasTherapist bias

• Attitude: based on aptitude, genetic predisposition, constitution, temperament, previous experiences

• Orientation: based on worldview, beliefs and theoretical framework, perspective, cultural bias

• State of Mind: current situation, basic orientation in the world, point of view, emotional state, mood

• Reaction: response to this particular client, situation, interaction, provocation

Client BiasClient Bias

• Attitude: based on aptitude, genetic predisposition, constitution, temperament, previous experiences

• Orientation: based on worldview, beliefs and theoretical belief system, perspective, cultural bias

• State of Mind: current situation, basic orientation in the world, point of view, emotional state, mood, disposition

• Reaction: response to this particular person, situation, interaction, provocation

Existential Therapy and life. Existential Therapy and life.

• Existential therapy addresses the whole of human existence as it is experienced by the person

• Allows for philosophical and yet deeply individual perspective

• Widens and broadens the horizon• Values paradox and encourages living with the

tension of life

Like SisyphusLike SisyphusAlways onwards

And upwards

Enough

To fill

A

Human

Heart.

Breakthrough in stead of Breakthrough in stead of breakdown. breakdown.

• Loss and transition are about breakdown of the old.

• Instead of breaking down and becoming depressed it can mean we break through some block and move on to a next level.

• In the process we become stronger.• This is how human evolution progresses.

Leading a Leading a philosophical life. philosophical life.

To lead a philosophical life means also to take seriously our experience of men, of happiness and hurt, of success and failure, of the obscure and confused. It means not to forget but to possess ourselves inwardly of our experience, not to let ourselves be distracted but to think problems through, not to take things for granted but to elucidate them. (Jaspers,1951:122)

Making new connectionsMaking new connections

• Umwelt: understand physical context and embodiment: person’s relation to the world around them. Behavioural/Bioenergy/Biodynamic/Classic Psychoanalysis.

• Mitwelt: describe and take into account the social, cultural and political dimension of the client’s life. Object relations/Systemic/TA/Group/CBT.

• Eigenwelt: read and understand the text of the client’s life, find the narrative point of gravity. Who do they think they are? Gestalt/Self Psychology/Ego-Psychology

• Uberwelt: recognize worldview and values: what is the purpose of the person’s life? Jungian/Psychosynthesis/Core process/Transpersonal

Kierkegaard’s stages.Kierkegaard’s stages.

• Vegetative• Animal• Aesthetic• Ethical• Thinking• Doubt• Leap of Faith• Spiritual

DialecticsDialectics

• Thesis, antithesis, synthesis.

• Human evolution proceeds with constant conflict and forward movement in overcoming a previous state.

• Paradoxes and dilemmas can be integrated and gone beyond.

Tree of Knowledge and Exile from Tree of Knowledge and Exile from Paradise: human evolution. Paradise: human evolution.

• Man rejected happiness of Eden in order to explore life and labour.

• Return to Eden is not the objective. To understand the contrast of good and evil is to live with consciousness.

What is happiness?What is happiness?

• Happiness is a prolonged or

lasting emotional or affective

state that feels good or pleasing.

• Experiences associated with happiness include wellbeing, joy, pleasure, delight, health, safety and love, while contrasting ones include suffering, sadness, grief and pain. (Wikipedia 06)

Magritte:Magritte:Empire of Empire of

Lights: Lights:

In the chaos of life and in the throes of our passion we learn to be whole,

to be both wrong and right. Paradox and Passion, 98.

Human ConditionHuman Condition

• The essential components of life dynamics consist of:

• Paradoxes, conflicts, dilemmas, contradictions, alternatives, dialectics, and experiments in living.

• Most people are in some trouble or other most of the time. People are rarely without some preoccupation or problem. The body often has sore spots or pains or discomforts. The ego is often bruised or fearful. The self is often lacking in identity or strength. The soul is often confused or distracted and wary.

Images of happinessImages of happiness

• Walhalla, Utopia, el Dorado, Garden of Eden, Nirvana, Land of the Lotus eaters

Mihaly CsikszentmihalyiMihaly Csikszentmihalyi

• Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. He defined and explored the concept of "flow"—as in "in the flow"—as our experience of optimal fulfillment and engagement. Flow, whether in creative arts, athletic competition, engaging work, or spiritual practice, is a deep and uniquely human motivation to excel, exceed, and triumph over limitation.

FlowFlow

• 1. Clear goals: challenge level and skill level should both be high.

• 2. Concentrating and focusing• 3. A loss of the feeling of self consciousness• 4. Distorted sense of time, altered subjective experience• 5. Direct and immediate feedback : immediate response• 6. Balance between ability level and challenge • 7. A sense of personal control over the situation or activity.• 8. The activity is intrinsically rewarding: effortlessness of

action.• 9. People become absorbed in their activity, and focus of

awareness is narrowed down to the activity itself, action awareness