SURVIVE AND THRIVE IN THE NEW WORLD OF WORK · The chart below consists of 6 segments, ... African...

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contents © FREE TO GROW May 2006 SURVIVE AND THRIVE IN THE NEW WORLD OF WORK CONTENTS INTRODUCTION 1 MODULE 1: The New World of Work 2 MODULE 2: Interpersonal Relationships 5 MODULE 3: Diversity 13 MODULE 4: Handling Interpersonal Conflict 17 MODULE 5: Assertiveness 21 MODULE 6: Stress Management 33 CONCLUSION 43 Symbol Guide To do in your small groups To see how you measure up Steps you can take to improve your situation To fill in Copyright Free To Grow is the copyright owner of this learner manual. Fasset may use the learner manual to further its aims within the broader community in which it operates.

Transcript of SURVIVE AND THRIVE IN THE NEW WORLD OF WORK · The chart below consists of 6 segments, ... African...

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© FREE TO GROW May 2006

SURVIVE AND THRIVE IN THE NEW WORLD OF WORK

C O N T E N T S

INTRODUCTION 1

MODULE 1: The New World of Work 2

MODULE 2: Interpersonal Relationships 5

MODULE 3: Diversity 13

MODULE 4: Handling Interpersonal Conflict 17

MODULE 5: Assertiveness 21

MODULE 6: Stress Management 33

CONCLUSION 43

S y m b o l G u i d e

To do in your small groups

To see how you measure up

Steps you can take to improve your situation

To fill in

Copyright

Free To Grow is the copyright owner of this learner manual. Fasset may use the learner manual to further its aims within the broader

community in which it operates.

© FREE TO GROW May 2006

INTRODUCTION

Self-assessmentWhat is your current level of knowledge and skills regarding each of the modules in theprogramme?

The chart below consists of 6 segments, each representing the competencies related tothe modules of this programme.

• Level 1 indicates almost total ignorance of the competency. • Level 2 indicates some knowledge, but very little application.• Level 3 indicates application, but with much room for improvement.• Level 4 indicates a high degree of mastery and application.

For each module, place a dot on the corresponding 'spoke' on the chart indicating yourcurrent level of understanding and application.

When you are done, connect the dots. The resulting picture will look like an erratic spiderweb, showing your (perceived) strengths and your opportunities for further development.

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"It is what you learn after you know it all that counts."

John Wooden

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"Change is inevitable,Growth is optional."

Anonymous

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MODULE 1: THE NEW WORLD OF WORK

1. THE CHANGING WORLD OF WORK

The world is changing rapidly and dramatically, and these changes - economic, political, techno-logical and cultural are having a profound effect on the world of work. Accompanying these changesis a level of uncertainty that influences people's careers and lives.

a. Some of the changes in the world of work are the following:

1. GlobalizationThe global economy is a major change factor in the world of work and organisationswill need to adopt a global perspective to survive and flourish. The appearance of newworld markets, foreign competition and political realignment has forced many compa-nies to adopt more global strategies. To be competitive organisations will need a bet-ter understanding of foreign politics, markets, cultures, employees and new manage-ment styles.

2. TechnologyTechnological advances have affected every phase of business throughout everydepartment. Computer technology has upgraded the skill requirements of large partsof the work force and the less adaptable workers have often found themselves out oftune with the future goals of businesses. Technological changes will continue to createnew opportunities in the marketplace.

3. Changing structure of organisationsTo meet the challenges of a highly competitive global marketplace, many organisationshave experienced dramatic changes in their structure. It is predicted that organisationsof the future will increasingly be flatter; more decentralised and employ smaller num-bers of workers. More work will be outsourced and organisations will form networksoutside normal boundaries to meet changing needs and demands.

4. Job LossThe prospect of a secure, continuous, lifetime career with one employer or even with-in one industry is fading rapidly. Restructuring, downsizing and retrenchment hasbecome synonymous with the challenges faced in the new world of work.Retrenchment is stimulating the formation of small enterprises. It is estimated thatthere are currently 3 million SMME's currently operative in the country.

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"I can't change the direction of the wind,but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."

Jimmy Dean

5. Changing nature of workA more flexible organisation structure calls for a different approach in man-agement and the nature of work. The modern organisation will typically have fewermanagers to supervise and monitor performance. The few managers that will still befound in organisations will derive power from their expertise rather than from theirposition within the organisation. All employees will need to become skilled in self-management, as the locus of responsibility shifts downward in the organisation andemployees will be required to participate in cross-functional and cross-organisationalteams. All these factors will require flexibility as well as the ability to interact with avariety of different people with a more participative and interpersonal style.

6. Culturally diverse work forceA more culturally diverse work force will produce changes in the way organisations’function. These changes will be every bit as significant as changes arising from eco-nomic competition and technological change. It is predicted that the future labourforce will be older, more female and more disadvantaged. The increasing proportionof women, racial minorities and immigrants in the work force will put pressure onorganisations to manage this sexual, racial and ethnic diversity effectively. It will alsochallenge employees to understand different cultures and to work cooperatively withothers who may hold different values and perspectives.

7. Work and Family LifeThe neat separation of work and family, where neither role interferes with the other,is something of the past. The management of work and family lives poses a substan-tial challenge in the new world of work. The burgeoning employment of women hascreated new challenges of juggling work and family commitments. Moreover, thesoaring divorce rate has substantially increased the number of single-parent house-holds (the vast majority headed by women) with particularly intense work and familypressures. Dual-career couples and single parents must learn to balance theircareers with extensive family responsibilities, often including the care of elderly par-ents or in-laws.

Work and family roles have also been altered by technological advances, which haveblurred the demarcation between these two spheres of life. Personal computers havemoved work activities from the office to the dining room or study and fax machinesand cellular phones have enabled even the most remote location to function as anoffice. These changes provide opportunities for achieving work-family balance butalso require considerable support from spouses, children and employers.

b. How do these changes currently affect your industry, your organisation andyou personally?

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“Your attitude determines your altitude.”Unknown

2. THE 10 LAWS OF LIFE-TIME GROWTH

a. What do each of the laws from The Laws of Lifetime Growth by Dan Sullivan andCatherine Nomura mean to you?

b. To what extent are you currently applying each law in your life on the whole andin your work? Choose between 1: A great deal, 2: Moderately and 3: Minimally. What is theimpact of this on the quality of your life, the success you are achieving and the fulfil-ment you are experiencing?

c. Decide which laws you want to apply from now on and tick these in the column headed G.

Law Meaning 1 2 3 G

1. Always make your future biggerthan your past.

2. Always make your learninggreater than your experience.

3. Always make your contributionbigger than your reward.

4. Always make your performancegreater than your applause.

5. Always make your gratitudegreater than your success.

6. Always make your enjoymentgreater than your effort.

7. Always make your co-operationgreater than your success.

8. Always make your confidencegreater than your comfort.

9. Always make your purposegreater than your money.

10. Always make your questionsgreater than your answers.

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“You blame the wolves even though the sheep are wondering in the meadow at night.”

Ovambo proverb

MODULE 2: INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

1. INTRODUCTION

a. The value of relationships

Relationships are not a luxury, they are the key to our personal and career success. Thenumber and quality of our relationships affect our:

• Emotional wellbeing• Physical health• Career success.

b. Benefits of improving your relationshipsIdentify four relationships (with people or categories of people at work) that troubleyou and affect you negatively. Reflect on what the benefits may be if these relation-ships were to be improved.

c. Approaches to improving relationships

1. Wait for the other person to do something about the state of the relationship.2. Ask or demand from the other person to do something about it.3. Accept that it will never change for the better.4. Take responsibility to improve the relationship by changing your own attitude and

behaviour towards the other person.

d. How have you approached each of the above relationships up to now? Fill in the number of the approach (1,2,3 or 4) in the appropriate column. How has thisworked for you? If you want to change your approach, do so in the last column.

Relationships Benefits Untilnow

Fromnow on

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“Receiving honour won’t make you noble and giving honour won’t make you aslave, so it is well to honour one another.”

African proverb

2. RESPECT

2.1 RESPECT GIVEN

a. Check your respect levelsWrite the names of the four people or categories of people on page 5 on the horizontallines. Then assess the level of respect you show to each of them.

b. What are your conclusions?

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Hold in high esteem

Value contribution andassets

Treat with dignity andrefrain from degrading

Names _________ _________ _________ _________

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“The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving.”

Oliver Windell Holmes

2.2 RESPECT RECEIVED

a. Check your levelsWhat do your respect thermometers look like when seen from the receiving end ofrespect for the relationships used on page 6?

b. If you want to climb the stairway of respect:

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Hold you in high esteem

Value you for your contri-bution and assets

Treat you with dignityand refrain from degrad-ing you

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Progress

What must you stop doing?

What must you start doing?

What must you do more of?

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“Listen with your heart, you will understand.”

Grandmother Willow to Pocahontas in the Disney film, Pocahontas

3. UNDERSTANDING

a. Ways to show understandingHow can you try to understand the people you work with better and how can you showthem that you understand (without having to agree with what they say or want)?

b. Being understoodHow well do you feel understood by:

c. What can you do to ensure that other people understand you better?

d. Check your progress over time.

Not well Fairly well Well Progress

Your peers?

Your subordinates?

Your senior/s?

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“Trust is the major leadership challenge of today and tomorrow.”

Warren Bennis, Management Guru

4. TRUST

a. Definitions

Trust is the expectation that another party will not allow you to be harmed at a time whenyou are vulnerable.

Mutual trust is a shared belief that you can depend on each other to achieve a commonpurpose.

b. The benefits of trust in an organisation

• Individuals who trust the people they work with are more self-assured, open and hon-est, willing to take risks, less resistant to change and inclined to act in a trustworthymanner. In contrast, individuals who distrust the people they work with are morewasteful and unproductive, they feel unsupported and alone, they do not believe whatthey are told and therefore often do not listen and they must take time to corroboratewhat they have been told before they can believe it.

• A major advantage to interpersonal trust is information sharing and collaboration.When people trust that they will be given credit for their ideas and that sensitive infor-mation that they share will be kept confidential, they are more inclined to discuss theircreative ideas, personal goals and concerns. Such an open environment is the idealcontext for developing innovative ideas and resolving conflicts with "win-win" solu-tions.

• Managers who trust their subordinates are more inclined to delegate tasks to them,and subordinates who trust their managers are more comfortable taking on the addi-tional responsibility, even when there is some risk of failure. Such subordinates knowthat their mistakes will be treated as learning opportunities rather than as threats totheir careers.

• During times of change and uncertainty, leaders who have established trust amongtheir followers are able to direct them with less resistance.

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“We’re like blind men on a corner - we have to trust other people or we’ll never cross the street.”

George Foreman

c. How to build trust

As an organisation

• Action and policies that promote a culture of trust include investing in employees, pro-moting open communication, behaving in an ethical and socially responsible mannerand providing a measure of job security.

In teams

• Instead of blaming one another in the team, give credit for good work that is beingdone. Talk about how you learn from one another and let others know how much theirwork is appreciated.

• Learn how to take responsibility, rather than make excuses for your mistakes. Youneed to identify the cause of the problem, take initiative in offering solutions and pullpeople together to correct difficult situations.

• Share information rather than restrict it.

• Learn how to collaborate on important issues. Wherever practical, reach decisions byconsensus.

• Learn to talk in terms of 'we' instead of 'us and them'.

• Focus on the big-picture issues and do not get sidetracked by differences in thedetails.

• Respect organisational issues and roles and do not use them as weapons.

• Respect and value each others’ backgrounds and experience rather than discrediteach others’ competence.

• Learn how to voice concerns, criticisms and conflicts openly. Make no attempt atundermining, manipulating or sabotaging each others’ efforts.

• Learn how to speak positively about your work, the organisation and the future -instead of expressing cynicism.

Ryan and Oestreich, Driving Fear out of the Workplace (1991)

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"Trust is the residue of promises fulfilled."Scott Simmerman

5. THE 4 C TRUST MODEL

a. What do you think each of the C's refers to and how does this link to trust?

• Connectedness:

• Competency:

• Consistency:

• Character:

b. How can you help others to trust you more by utilising the 4 C's?

Trust building strategies

Connectedness

Competency

Consistency

Character

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6. MANAGING UPWARDS

a. Why you need to manage upwards

Managing upwards is essential to ensure that your career aspirations are achieved. What youwant from your career is more important to you than to your manager, so you are the one who hasto take initiative in this regard.

Effectively managing upwards helps to alleviate pressure on both sides, by managing and align-ing expectations, and reducing the incidence of management by interference.

It is estimated that you will have upwards of 20 managers during your career. Mastering the art ofmanaging upwards will probably result in you having more fun at work and doing better in yourcareer.

b. How to manage your boss

• Thoroughly understand what makes your manager 'tick' i.e. what defines their work-ing style, what motivates or frustrates/disheartens them.

• Confirm what it is they want. This will bypass common misunderstandings and allowyou to meet and surpass their expectations.

• Be aware of your own strengths and weaknesses, as how you behave in the rela-tionship is just as important as what makes your manager tick

• Determine if your boss is a 'reader' or a 'listener'. Readers prefer information pre-sented to them in report form, so they can study it methodically, while listeners wouldrather have the information presented orally.

• Be fully conversant with and sensitive to their timetable. Don't, for instance, presentyour best ideas 24 hours before a board meeting, as they will be preoccupied withthe next day's agenda.

• Create an environment of mutual respect, where if you know they have weaknesses,or even dislike certain aspects of their job, you can offer to take on or share thoseduties.

• Keep the lines of communication between you open and lively to ensure you stayonhis/her side and share priorities.

• Take responsibility for your issues and initiate discussions with your manager.• Check your motive.• Clearly define what your issues are. • Analyse possible solutions to meet your goals. Identify not only what you can gain

from each solution but also what your manager will gain. Be prepared to listen toyour manager's side of the story.

• Finally, be a strategic and visionary thinker. If your manager knows you have aroadmap, and can plan in line with that, as well as keeping an eye on the bigger pic-ture, they will be more likely to trust your judgement on matters and run with yourideas.

c. Which of the above ideas will be useful to apply with your manager? Tick all those that apply and keep them in mind constantly in your interaction withyour manager.

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"It is easy to get the players. Getting them to play together, that's the hard part."

Casey Stengel, one of the most successful baseball managers in history

MODULE 3: DIVERSITY

1. INTRODUCTION

a. Workplace Diversity Today

Over the last few years, it has become clear that organisations must pursue workplace diversityas a competitive necessity. The realisation is growing that it is only through valuing and pursuingworkplace diversity and managing it well that organisations can attract, retain and encourage theiremployees, work effectively with partners and suppliers, and satisfy customers and shareholders.The pursuit of workplace diversity is a strategic organisational response to the changing world ofwork.

The concept of diversity in the workforce goes beyond simply recognising Equal EmploymentOpportunity (EEO) requirements. It encompasses acceptance and respect. Diversity acknowl-edges people's differences and works with these differences to create a fairer and more produc-tive workplace by drawing on the cultures, talents, and ideas of a broader group of people.

b. The business case for diversity

In a global and diverse marketplace, a company whose makeup mirrors the makeup of the mar-ketplace it serves, is better equipped to thrive in that marketplace than a company whose make-up is homogeneous.

Surveys of current experience suggest that there are qualitative and quantitative benefitsto be gained from diversity, for example:

• Increased overall market share due to selling more products to more clients • Enhanced relationships with suppliers• Full utilisation of the personal potential of individual employees • Increased team effectiveness • Improved personnel retention • Easy entrance to additional and niche market segments• Improved customer satisfaction • Access to untapped reserves of talent• Enhanced creativity and innovation• Minimised litigation • Enhanced reputation and loyalty both internally and from external stakeholders and

customers.

a. The model

PersonalityThat combination of traits that is uniquely yours.

Internal dimensions of diversityThis dimension refers to the core of who we are: who we were born as - that which we havenot chosen and cannot change about ourselves, but which we share with many other people.These aspects shape our basic self-image and our fundamental view of the world. They arethe most important filters that change and modify our life’s experiences.

External dimensions of diversityThis circle shows several of the external dimensions of diversity: there are also a multitude ofothers e.g. military experience and recreational habits. These dimensions are also closelylinked to our self-esteem and self-definition, but they can change from time to time. Choicealso play a role in these dimensions.

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"We all live with the objective of being happy;our lives are all different and yet the same."

Anne Frank

b. Mental models

In The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook, Peter Senge, presented the following Ladder ofInference to describe how individuals form their mental models:

• I choose data that are observable and based on experience• I overlay my personal meaning on top of these experiences or data• I make assumptions based on the meaning that I attach• I do not challenge my assumptions• I reach a conclusion, which becomes a belief• Once I have a belief about something, that belief affects how I perceive similar situations• I act based on what I believe.

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"Understanding corporate life begins with an understanding of the diversity of people’s gifts, talents and skills.

Understanding and accepting diversity enables us to see that each of us is needed.It also enables us to begin to think about being abandoned to the strengths

of others, of admitting we can’t know or do everything.The simple act of recognising diversity in corporate life helps us to connect the

great variety of gifts that people bring to the work and service of the organisation.Diversity allows each of us to contribute in a special way,

to make our special gift a part of the corporate effort.When we think about leaders and the variety of gifts people bring to corporations

and institutions, we see that the art of leadership lies in polishing and liberating and enabling those gifts.”

Max du Preez

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The golden rule is: Treat others as you want to be treated.The platinum rule is: Treat others as they want to be treated.

3. BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS WITH DIVERSE INDIVIDUALS

Step 1: Recognise that diversity exists and value and respect fundamental differencesamong people.

Step 2: Start interacting with diverse individuals in a cooperative context.

The context within which interaction takes place can be competitive, individualistic or cooperative.In an individualistic context, individuals seek their own benefit independent of what others aredoing. In a competitive context, individuals strive to outperform each other. In a cooperative con-text:

• Individuals work towards common goals• Individuals are connected by a set of common procedures, norms and values.

Step 3: Build pride in your historical and cultural identify.

To appreciate the heritage of others and build collaborative relationships with them, you shouldappreciate your historical, cultural, ethnic and religious background. Your historical and culturalheritage is part of your identity. It provides stability to your life.

Step 4: Appreciate other's historical and cultural backgrounds.

Step 5: Focus on what you have in common with others and not on the differences.

Step 6: Reduce internal barriers to constructive interaction.

Examples of internal barriers:

• Stereotyping: A stereotype is a belief that associates a whole group of people withcertain traits, positive or negative. Stereotypes are exaggerated beliefs or fixed ideasthat arise from incomplete or distorted information and limited experience. It is sus-tained by selective perception and selective forgetting.

• Prejudice: An unjustified negative attitude towards a person based solely on that indi-vidual's membership of a group other than your own. Prejudice reflects a bias withoutreason that resists all evidence to the contrary.

Step 7: Resolve conflicts constructively.

Openly discuss areas of concern to clarify misunderstanding and prevent resentment building up.When you do not understand someone's words or actions, ask! When you get the idea that some-one does not understand you, explain.

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"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced."

James Baldwin

MODULE 4: HANDLING INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT

1. INTRODUCTION

a. What interpersonal conflict is about

Some definitions:

• A state of opposition and disagreement between people• A significant struggle over incompatible goals or resources• A special form of interaction where interests etc. are realised, even if they are con-

tradictory to the interests of other people.

b. Potential benefits of interpersonal conflict

• A positive outcome can enhance self-esteem• Competently managed, conflict can clear the air and release tension between people,

serving as a healthy catalyst in the relationship• Constructively handled conflict can lead to problem solving• Better understanding between the people involved.

c. Potential dangers/risks of interpersonal conflict

• Unresolved conflict can create anger, resentment and pain• It may lead to a break down of trust and communication• It may ultimately lead to a breakdown of the relationship• Emotional, verbal or physical violence could result• It can lead to lawsuits.

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"Conflict is a puzzle to be solved, not a battle to be fought."

Anonymous

2. CONFLICT STRATEGIES

a. Definitions

b. Guidelines for the effective use of conflict strategies:

1. Being competent in handling conflict requires being able to competently use all thestrategies. Each strategy is appropriate at certain times. You need to master each anduse it appropriately, depending on your goals and the relationship.

2. Make sure you are comfortable using all the strategies and know when which strate-gy would be appropriate or not appropriate for a specific situation.

3. When the goal is not important to you, withdraw. It is a waste of time and energy tonegotiate with an angry or hostile stranger.

4. When the relationship is important to you, use force only when absolutely necessaryas it creates resentment and can lead to counter force.

5. Do not withdraw or ignore conflict with people who are important to you, except whenthis is a temporary strategy to give you, or the other person, or both of you, time tocool down. Ignoring a conflict can lead to resentment and hostility.

6. Do not engage in win-lose relationships with people who are important to you. If youaim to win, the other person may resent you for this. If you end up losing, you may bethe one who becomes resentful and negative. Whatever way, the relationship isaffected negatively.

7. When time is short or resources are limited and a resolution is needed, compromise.

Strategy Description

Tortoise Avoids the other person and the issue. Withdraws.

Shark Tries to achieve own goals at all costs. Forces and demands, intimidates, no matterwhat the cost.

Teddy Wants to maintain the relationship and keep the other person happy at all cost.Sacrifices own interests and goals.

Fox Compromises. Gives some and takes some.

Owl/eagleInitiates negotiations aimed at ensuring that both parties achieve their goals and thatthe relationship is maintained. An agreement is sought that resolves tension andnegative feelings.

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“Anyone can become angry - that’s easy.But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree,

at the right time and in the right way - that’s not easy.” Aristotle

3. DIFFERENT STRATEGIES IN DIFFERENT SITUATIONS/RELATIONSHIPS

a. Identify people or categories of people in your work and private life that areimportant to you. Write their names or the relationship in column 1.

Take some time to think about and analyse your behaviour during conflict in each ofthese relationships. Then tick (in the first block) the strategy you mostly use when youhave conflict in that relationship. At a later stage, use the second block to evaluateyour progress.

b. What are your conclusions?Reflect on the above.

c. When should you be using a different strategy at work in order to handle theconflict situation more effectively?

Names or relationship Teddy Tortoise Fox Shark Owl/Eagle

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“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”

James Baldwin

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4. YOUR OWN CONFLICT HANDLING SKILLS

a. Identify two people or categories of people at home and two at work with whom youwant to have a positive relationship and write their names in the respective columns.

b. Evaluate your own behaviour when in conflict with each of the people or categories ofpeople on the following three-point scale:

1: Seldom or never2: Sometimes3: Always or almost always

Conflict handling skillsAt home At work

1. I remain calm and don't get angry.

2. I make sure of my facts beforehand.

3. I address the problem and I do not "attack" the person.

4. I wait for the right moment to ensure that we can talk calmly andin private.

5. I maintain eye contact while talking.

6. I discuss the current problem and do not drag past problemsinto the discussion.

7. I listen to the other person and try to understand him/her.

8. I bring out into the open what I want and how I feel.

9. I take ownership of my interests by making personal statementsthat refer to “I”, “me”, “mine”, etc.

10. I admit it if I am in the wrong.

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MODULE 5: ASSERTIVENESS

1. INTRODUCTION

a. What assertiveness is about

Assertiveness is the ability to express yourself and your rights without violating the rightsof others. It is the skill that you will require if you want to:

• impact on others in a self-confident manner• exercise leadership• take control of your work and life• deal effectively with criticism and resistance• stand up for yourself, and• express your needs, wants, opinions, beliefs and concerns in a direct and honest man-

ner.

b. The benefits of being assertive

• You will feel more self-confident and will therefore come across as more confident• You will be more able to deal with conflict• You will generally gain the respect of your peers, seniors and clients• It can increase your chances for honest relationships• It can help you feel better about yourself and your self-control in everyday situations • It can improve your chances of getting what you really want from your work and from

your life on the whole.

c. Personal benefitsWhich of the benefits mentioned in (a) and (b) above are most important to you at themoment?

"The people who get ahead in this world, are the people who get up and look for thecircumstances they want

and if they can't find them, make them."George Bernard Shaw

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2. YOUR BEHAVIOUR AT WORK

a. Test yourselfRead the statements below and decide how typical of you each behaviour is. Circle thenumber in the appropriate column. Please be honest!

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Very FairlyNot at

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1. When someone at work criticises me unjustly I defend myself. 2 1 0

2. When people have made a commitment to me I will hold themto it. 2 1 0

3. When someone in the office does not pull their weight I find ithard to speak to them about it. 0 1 2

4. I give and receive compliments without feeling embarrassed. 2 1 0

5. I am comfortable saying what I feel and think. 2 1 0

6. When someone at work treats me badly I will turn a blind eye. 0 1 2

7. I am able to confront others at work on sensitive or difficultissues. 2 1 0

8. I allow others at work to take advantage of me. 0 1 2

9. I give in too easily when my manager or people in my teamask me for special favours. 0 1 2

10. It is very important to me that all at work like me. 0 1 2

11. I often end up doing what no-one else wants to do. 0 1 2

12. When I differ from someone whom I respect I will say so andexplain why. 2 1 0

13. I find it easy to speak out at meetings. 2 1 0

14. I often apologise even when I am not in the wrong. 0 1 2

15. I do not find it easy to ask for what I want from my managerand colleagues even if I know them well. 0 1 2

16. When someone or something annoys me I do not bottle up myfeelings but speak out. 2 1 0

“We must combine the toughness of the serpent with the softness of the dove,

a tough mind and a tender heart.”Martin Luther King

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b. How assertive are you?

1. Check the list again to ensure that everything has been filled in correctly.

2. Have a look at the numbers you have circled. Add them together.

3. Write your total down here. __________

What does this mean:

If you have scored less than 14 marks, it means you find it very difficult to stand upfor yourself at work. You allow others to dominate you. You don’t assert yourself at all.

If you have scored between 14 and 20 marks, it means that you assert yourself some-times, but that you still tend to suppress yourself at work. You do not stand up for your-self often enough.

If you have scored between 21 and 27 marks, it means that you are assertive, but youdo compromise when necessary.

If you have scored between 28 and 32 marks, it means that you come across toostrongly. At work you tend to come across so strongly that you forget to consider others.

Submissive: OverpoweredAggressive: Power overAssertive: Power within

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3. THE FOUR STYLES

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Submissive

Others choose forme.I am not honestenough.I don’t respectmyself.I lose; others win.

I am not as impor-tant as others.

Tense, helpless, frustrated.Angry with myselfand angry with others.

Guilty, superior, irritated.

As a weakling.As someone with no ideas of her own.As someone whomthey can abuse.

Others get what theywant, but it is at myexpense.

Assertive

I choose formyself.I respect myself and I respect others.I win; others win.

I am important andmy feelings areimportant, BUT Ialso consider othersand their feelings.

Self-confident andpurposeful.Content.

Respected, considered.

As someone whorespects herself.As someone whois strong.

A better chance toachieve my goal.

Direct aggressive

I choose for others.I don’t care what Isay to others.I win; others lose.

Only I am important.What others thinkand feel is not impor-tant at all.

Superior, in control.A bit guilty after-wards.

Humiliated, angry,hurt, offended.

As an enemy.As someone whoonly thinks of herself.

I usually achieve mygoal, but at theexpense of others.People rebel againstme.

Cha

ract

eris

tics

Wha

t I b

elie

ve

Passive aggressive

I manipulate others.I am not open aboutmy needs and feel-ings.I sometimes win,others lose.

I am more importantthan others.

“Bottled -up”, spite-ful and tense.Guilty, ashamed andisolated afterwards.

Uneasy, frustratedand resentful.

As a manipulator.As someone whowants their own wayand gets it by mak-ing others feelguilty.

I sometimesachieve my goal bymanipulating othersemotions.

Wha

t I f

eel

How

I m

ake

othe

rs f

eel

How

oth

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see

me

Con

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“Skill and confidence are an unconquered army.”

George Herbert

4. HOW TO ASSERT YOURSELF

a. How to put the ingredients together

b. How do you rate?Reflect on your current use of the above ingredients when asserting yourself and rateyourself as follow:

1. I never or seldom use this ingredient2. I use this ingredient, but not very effectively 3. I use this ingredient comfortably and effectively.

What you say How to do it effectively 1 2 3

1. I see/ under-stand/ hear

Try to understand why the other person is behaving in aparticular way and convey this to him or her.

2. When you…

State what the problem behaviour (action or inaction) is.Be specific (use the 5 W's and the H). Do not makeassumptions or refer to attitude or motive. Keep it problemcentred and not personal. (See the guidelines for givingfeedback.) Try to avoid absolutes, such as always ornever.

3. I feel…

Describe how this makes you feel. Keep this brief and, inthe business context, not emotional. Use clear and pre-cise terms: annoyed, frustrated, concerned, nervous, anx-ious, confused etc. Beware of using high voltage terms(furious, totally mad etc.). Remain calm and in control.Use "I" statements.

4. Because…

State the consequences of the action or inaction for you,the business or both. In the business context, this is usu-ally a quality, productivity, or relationship problem causedor risked by the behaviour.

5. I require/ need/expect…

Negotiate ways to address the problem: start with an"asking" approach. If that does not have the desiredresults, say what you want to see changed or what youwant to be done about the situation.

6. Or…State the consequences if the problem is not addressed.Be specific and realistic. Do not make threats you are notprepared to carry out.

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“The goal of assertion is not 'victory', but being able to express your needs anddesires openly and honestly. Remember, the compulsion to win at all costs is the

burden of the aggressive person.”Phelps and Austin, 2000

c. AppropriatenessIdentify a situation at work in which using the following combination of ingredients would be appropriate:

All of them

1 to 5

2 and 6

2, 3, 5 and 6

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"He who provokes a war must make sure he knows how to fight."

Tsonga proverb

5. THE "I" STATEMENT

This is one of the most important skills you can acquire. An "I" statement consists of a descriptionof how you feel and an indication of the conditions under which you feel that way. It takes this form:"I feel (your emotions) when (under what condition)/ because (providing the reason)."

"I" statements do not judge, blame, threaten, put down or try to control others; they simply reporthow you feel, which is rarely challengeable by anyone else. When you make an "I" statement, youare taking responsibility for your emotions. "I" statements inform others about your feelings and,thus, may lead to change, but they do not demand change or direct others. They leave the otherperson responsible and free to decide if he/she will change to accommodate your needs. "I" state-ments do not offend as much as "You" statements.

"I" statements are more likely to improve a relationship, they will certainly do better than demand-ing, whining, manipulating, accusing and criticising.

Often "you" statements are intended to exert power, to control, to intimidate, or to put down theother person. They are not statements made by non-judgmental, mutually respecting equals. Theyare authoritarian statements made by manipulators. That's why Gordon (1975) recommended "I"statements to parents when talking to children, and to be aware of "you" statements. Since then,“I” statements have been applied in all other interpersonal relationships.

a. Examples of "I" Versus "You" statements:

“You” statements “I” statements

"You are an inconsiderate, hostile, arrogantcreep."

"I feel betrayed when you criticise me in front ofothers."

"You don't give a damn about me!" "I feel neglected when you avoid me."

"You shut up!" "I feel annoyed when you call me names andmake fun of me."

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"They may forget what you said, but they will not forget how you made them feel."

Carl Beuchner

b. "I" statements versus "we" and "they" statements

Personal responsibility is avoided in other ways too: we use "we," "it" or "they" when we are tryingto de-personalise our comment and/or vaguely conceal our feelings or opinions. Sometimes weuse "we" when trying to make it sound like a lot of people agree with us, while in reality no one hasauthorised us to speak for them. We should take responsibility for expressing our own opinions orfeelings.

Examples:

c. When to use "I" Statements

• any time you want to share your feelings or desires in a frank, unthreatening andundemanding way. When you are trying to disclose more about yourself to build arelationship.

• any time stress is experienced in a relationship, especially if you are feeling angry ordissatisfied or if the other person is resistant to changing in response to your requestsor demands.

• if both parties have problems, i.e. both of you can take turns giving "I" statements andgiving empathy responses.

• if the other person is using a lot of "you" (blaming, critical) statements, try to translatethem into "I" statements and empathise with the accuser's feelings.

d. Where, with whom and in what situations at work will it be helpful to use “I”statements in order to more effectively assert yourself?Give examples of such statements.

"We/they" statements "I" statements

"The group isn't interested in..." "I don't think the group cares about..."

"People have a hard time speaking up at meetings."

"I am scared of speaking up at meetings."

"We find this programme boring." "I feel bored with the lack of stimulating discussions."

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“Assertiveness is not what you do, it's who you are!”

Cal Le Mon

6. HELPFUL TECHNIQUES

1. Stay with the core phraseDecide what the message is you want to get across and use a clear, simple and direct phrasewhich expresses what you want to say. Avoid ‘padding’ (extra explanations etc. used out ofembarrassment or tension) as this undermines what you really have to say.Example of ‘padding’: “I hope you don’t mind me saying this, it feels a bit odd,

but I feel I must say this...”Another example of padding is the inappropriate use of the word 'sorry'.

"Sorry, would you mind not interrupting me while I amspeaking, please"

There is no reason to say sorry in this instance. Padding the request in such a way diminish-es the strength of it and gives the impression of feeling hesitant about what is being said.

Removing padding does not mean that a core phrase has to be brief; it can be longer if themessage contains a number of distinct points. Example of a brief core phrase: "You must be at work on time each day."Example of a longer core phrase:"In Monday's meeting we will deal with the issue of foul

language as well as punctuality."

2. Show empathyListen and respond to the other person’s point without feeling pulled into their logic if you donot want to be. Example: “I understand it was never done like this before. This

does not mean...”

3. Avoid ‘hooks’A ‘hook’ is any comment that seems likely to pull you into an argument that is leadingnowhere, or leading you away from you goal.Examples of ‘hooks’: “Why do you always have to be so critical!”

“I don’t think you have our best interest at heart.”A manipulative hook will try and make you feel at fault or blameworthy.

"The task team needs support to get things done and yetyou seem to be leaving them to their own devices. Areyou not interested in building this team?"

An argumentative hook attempts to engage you in a quarrel or fight."I thought you knew better than to behave like that…""What a ridiculous idea!"

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�Either control your destiny or someone else will.�John F. Welch

An irrelevant logic hook sounds reasoned, but in actual fact doesn't hold up at all."But what will happen if it fails?"

How to avoid falling for hooks:Engage in active listening and repeat the other person's comment back to them, beforeadding in your core phrase. Example: "I hear you say it's a ridiculous idea, but have you con-

sidered (add in your core phrase(s) here)."

The risk of hooks: If you go for the hook, the inevitability of the conversation becoming an argument with partiesslinging comments back and forth becomes a reality. Example: "How could you say that? I have supported that team

whole-heartedly!""Oh no you haven't.""Of course I have! Just last week…""Nonsense!"

4. Take care of your body languageDon’t hunch, don’t slouch, don’t lean. Be strong, but relaxed. Keep your hands still anddo not fiddle. Do not break eye contact on key words. Raise your awareness of yourbody language: Does your body language support what you are saying?Example: "No, I'm not upset." (Yet your eyes send out a fiery

message and your arms are folded across your chest!)Are you too close or too far away from the person you are talking to?Try and sense if a person would rather you sat closer, or if they would prefer it if youdid not touch them on the shoulder, kiss them hello etc.

5. Let your voice work for you, not against youWhen one is anxious, one tends to speed up. Whenever you find yourself in a tense sit-uation, consciously slow down your speech to remain assertive. Voice pitch is alsoaffected by tension and stress. Most people’s voices rise in pitch when they are underpressure, draining authority away from what they are saying. Therefore, remind yourselfto pitch your voice low.

6. Talk about the problem and do not become personal.

7. Avoid vague and general statements e.g. “always, never”. Be specific.

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7. BEING ASSERTIVE IN SPECIFIC SITUATIONS

7.1 WHEN BEING CRITICISED

When can you use the above guidelines in the workplace?

If you agree • Make an assertive statement: "Yes, I think it is true. I did makea mess of that task."

• Repeat the words of the statement/s more or less exactly.

• Don't over apologise or justify.

• Remember that everyone has the right to make mistakes.

• The criticism was aimed at what you did not who you are.

If you do not agree • Say so. Reject the criticism as unfair.

• Repeat the words of the statement/s more or less exactly.

• Insist on giving your side of the story.

If you don't know if youagree or disagree(if criticism is general orvague)

• Do not argue with the criticism.

• Fog over it with a 'perhaps' or 'maybe.

• Try to track the specific problem by asking questions.

"Perhaps I am not communicating well with my team? Can yousay exactly what has given you that impression?" or "Maybe Ihave to look at my temper. Can you give me an example of asituation where you feel that it got out of hand?"

�Behaviour is a mirror in which everyone shows his image.�Goethe

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7.2 WHEN DEALING WITH ANGER AND AGGRESSION

When can you use the above guidelines in the workplace?

Recognise the anger • Show that you see the other person's reaction: "I can see youare very angry."

Ask and listen • Never argue back.

• Ask for as much information as you can. "Tell me exactly whatis wrong."

• Listen with plenty of nods, yeses and eye contact.

• Try to find out what has caused this aggressive behaviour andwhether you really are the target.

• Use active listening to hear all the complaints before moving onto problem solving.

Stay calm • State your position as calmly as possible.

• Take a deep breath.

• Use silence. If you shout back and lose your temper, you addfuel to the anger.

• Talk slowly and calmly; keep your voice low and soft.

Admit your role • It often helps to admit early on the possibility that you mighthave been part of the problem.

"Maybe I could have been more tactful."

Express your desire tosolve the problem

• 'I want to hear what you have to say. Let's work this out together."

• Get the angry person to lower her voice and sit down using anormal voice and calming tone.

"Why don't we sit down and see if we can talk about what hashappened?"

"I see how angry you are, but we will not get anywhere until youcalm down. I'd be glad if you would stop shouting."

Cooling off • Suggest a cooling off period. If all else fails, suggest that youleave matters as they are for the time being and pick up lateragain after a 'cooling off' period.

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Stress is part and parcel of change. Change in our lives means variety.

Variety is the spice and sparkle of life.

MODULE 6: STRESS MANAGEMENT

1. INTRODUCTION

a. What is stress?

• Stress is a relationship between you and your environment when you perceive andevaluate your environment as a threat to your well-being. You do this when the envi-ronment demands exceed your coping resources. Stress is your physiological, psy-chological and behavioural reactions when you attempt to adapt and adjust to inter-nal or external demands and pressures you feel you cannot cope with. (LourensSchlebusch, Mind Shift)

• Stress occurs when the body's normal homeostasis has been disturbed. (Sapolsky,1994).

b. Some facts about stress:

• Nothing is stressful unless you interpret is as such. Stress is in the eye of the behold-er.

• Stress is brought on by a stressor. A stressor can be any event, situation, person orobject, real or imaginary, that you perceive as stressful and that you have difficultycoping with.

• Stressors are not only negative and hostile, as when you have been evicted from yourhome; they may also be positive and friendly, as when you move into a new home.

• When stress occurs our bodies mobilise on one of the thee F's: freeze, fight, or flee(the fight-or-flight syndrome).

c. Types of stress:

• Anticipatory stress: When you worry about something that may happen in the future• Situational stress: Something that demands your attention right now- an immediate

threat, challenge or agitation e.g. writing an exam, which is normal. During this peri-od you focus your mind on the task and a small amount of stress helps you perform.This stress should be short term.

• Chronic stress: Stress that persists over time e.g. the loss of a loved one, an acci-dent or another trauma, or a persisting strained personal relationship or unfortunatework situation that you cannot escape - you have to live with it.

• Residual stress: Stress of the past. Old hurts, bad memories (all emotional baggage- things you can do nothing about now) that you struggle to let go of.

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"I AM NOT STRESSED!!!!!And if you ask me again I'll break your nose!”

Anonymous

2. LEVELS OF STRESS AND RESPONSES TO STRESS

a. How the body responds to stress

Calm

Eustress

Per

form

ance

Level of stress

Distress

Alert, quick decision making

Saliva production reduced

Skin: sweating and reducedblood flow

Legs, arms and body wall musclestense and blood flow increases

Spleen contracts, pouring red bloodcells into circulationGut cavity slowed, blood supplyreduced

Blood clots more easily

Hair stands erect; ‘goose pimples’

Pupils dilateHearing more acute

Lungs: airways dilate, breathingdeeper and more rapidly

Heart beats faster and harder

Skin: increased perspirationand reduced blood flow

Adrenal medulla releases adrenaline and

noradrenaline

Leg, arms and bodywall muscles tense

and blood flowincreases

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"There cannot be a crisis next week.My schedule is already full."

Henry Kissinger

b. Burnout

c. Self-assessment

Stage 1 Stage 2 Stage 3 Stage 4

• Lots of energy andenthusiasm.

• Over conscien-tious.

• Overworked.• Feelings of uncer-

tainty.• Doubts about cop-

ing.

• Short-lived bouts ofirritation.

• Tiredness and• Anxiety.• Feelings of stagna-

tion.• Blaming others.

• General discontent.• Increasing

anger/resentment.• Lowering of self-

esteem.• Growing quilt.• Lack of emotional

commitment.• Apathy.

• Withdrawal.• Illness.• Feelings of failure.• Extreme personal

distress.

Warning signs Warning signs Warning signs Danger signs

• Too busy to takeholidays.

• Reluctant to takedays off.

• Bringing workhome.

• Too little time withpartner/ family.

• Frustrated withresults.

• Unable to refusemore work.

• Complaints aboutthe quality of otherpeople's work.

• Unable to copewith pressure ofwork commitments.

• Working longhours.

• Unable to managetime efficiently.

• Too many social orwork commitments.

• Lack of enjoymentof life.

• Extreme exhaus-tion.

• Reduced commit-ment to work.

• Reduced commit-ment at home.

• Increasing absen-teeism.

• Avoiding col-leagues.

• Reluctance to com-municate.

• Increasing isola-tion.

• Physical ailments.• Alcohol or drug

abuse.

Stop the world - I quit!CrisisClose to the edgeToo highA little more than I’d likeJust right - normal for meLife a little dullToo lowHo-hum ... ZZZZ

Today One year ago Goal

3. SYMPTOMS OF STRESS

Which of the following symptoms do you experience?

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PHYSICAL

* Appetite change (eatmore or less)

* Frequent headaches* Trouble sleeping* Low energy* Foot or finger tapping * Increased smoking or

drinking * Skin diseases* Racing heart* Cramps or ulcers* Tense/aching muscles

Total:

SPIRITUAL

* Emptiness* Loss of meaning* Doubt* Lack of forgiveness* Martyrdom* Desire for magic* Loss of direction* Cynicism* Apathy * Need to 'prove' self

Total:

EMOTIONAL

* Anxiety* Frustration* Mood swings* Irritability* Depression* Worry* Lose sense of humour* Sadness* Easily lose temper over

sometimes insignificantthings

* Feeling less confident andin control

Total:

MENTAL

* Forgetful* Dulled senses* Feeling negative* Whirling mind* No new ideas* Negative self talk* Poor concentration* Poor judgment* Loss of interest* Feeling bored

Total:

RELATIONAL

* Withdraw socially * Impatient* Resentment* Feelings of loneliness

and isolation * Lashing out* Clamming up* Increased/decreased

desire for sex* Nagging* Distrust* Lack of intimacy

Total:

WORK

* Silly mistakes* Missed deadlines* Uncompleted projects* Low productivity* More errors* More comebacks* Work slower* Spend more time doing

less* Resist taking advice* Struggle to determine

prioritiesTotal:

“You don’t get ulcers from what you eat.You get them from what’s eating you.”

Vicki Baum

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4. STRESS-WISE YOUR LIFESTYLE

a. ResearchResearch has shown that seven daily habits in themselves can mean an extra 7 to 10years of life for women and 12 to 15 years for men.

• No smoking

• Moderate drinking (0-2 drinks per day)

• Sleeping 7-8 hours per day

• Eating regular meals without snacks

• Eating a regular balanced breakfast

• Exercising regularly

• Maintaining recommended body weight.(Source: Lifeskills Teaching programme, Barrie Hopson and Mike Scully)

b. Lifestyle Assessment

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(2)

Nev

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StatementS

ome-

times

(1)

Alw

ays

(3)

SC

OR

E

"In life, as in fiction, it is never too late to revise."Anonymous

FITNESS AND EXERCISE1. I neglect exercise.2. I would like to change my body weight.3. My weight fluctuates quite a lot.4. I avoid going for routine medical checkups.

TOTALNUTRITION1. I eat at irregular times.2. I drink more than 5 cups of coffee a day.3. I drink more than 4 drinks per day (3 for ladies).4. I feel guilty about my eating habits.

TOTAL

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b. Lifestyle Assessment

c. Interpretation Interpret your score for each of the lifestyle areas.

If you score 6 and above for more than 3 lifestyle areas you could benefit much if you seriously con-sider making changes in this lifestyle area.

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RELAXATION1. I do not sleep enough.2. I am caught in the same routine every day.3. I have lost my sense of humour.4. I am too busy to get around to fun and recreation.

TOTALPOSITIVE THINKING1. I think a lot of negative things about myself.2. I notice the negative things in life.3. I am a perfectionist.4. I am always the victim.

TOTALASSERTION SKILLS1. I often offer excuses to justify my behaviour.2. I have trouble saying no.3. I detest making mistakes. 4. I get angry very quickly.

TOTALTIME MANAGEMENT1. I procrastinate.2. I interrupt my schedule regularly.3. I waste time with things that are not important.4. I neglect to set goals and determine priorities.

TOTAL

Usu

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(2)

Nev

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0)

Statement

Som

e-tim

es (

1)

Alw

ays

(3)

SC

OR

E

0 - 2 This lifestyle area causes very little additional stress in your life.

3 - 5 This lifestyle area causes some additional stress in your life.

6 - 9 This lifestyle area causes a lot of additional stress in your life.

10 - 12 This lifestyle area is a major cause of stress in your life.

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"If you do what you've always done, you will get what you've always got."

Anonymous

5. STRESS IN THE WORKPLACE

a. Findings regarding stress in the work place

(Source: NIOSH report, 1990's, and the annual "Attitudes in the American Workplace VI" poll, 2000)

b. Your work stressorsWhat do you find stressful regarding each of the following:

• Your organisation's structure and culture

• Your role in the organisation

• Changes in work practices

• How your career is developing

• The amount of control you have over your work

• Work relationships

• Factors unique to the kind of work you do

• Your physical work environment

1. I feel stress on the job. 80%

2. I need help in learning how to manage stress. 49%

3. My co-workers need help in learning how to manage stress. 42%

4. My job is very or extremely stressful. 40%

5. I feel quite a bit or extremely stressed at work. 29%

6. I am often or very often burned out or stressed by my work. 26%

7. My job is the number one stressor in my life. 25%

8. I often feel like screaming or shouting because of job stress. 25%

9. I have been threatened or verbally intimidated at work. 18%

10. I felt like hitting a co-worker in the past year, but didn't. 14%

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6. STRESS MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUESIdentify actions in each lifestyle area that will help you to improve yourlifestyle.

1. Fitness and Exercise

* Identify what your realistic body weight is and maintain it. * Exercise regularly. Schedule it.* Keep track of your exercise so that it remains FIT

F: Frequency (How often you exercise)I: Intensity (How intense the exercise is) T: Time (The duration of the exercise)

* Always warm up for five to ten minutes before you exercise* Finish workouts with a five to ten minute cool down* Do an aerobic exercise for twenty to sixty minutes three times a week* Do strength training at least twice per week with eight to twelve repetitions of each

exercise* Wear appropriate shoes and workout clothing* Work out at your own pace so you will not strain your muscles* Exercise with a friend* Hang in there! It gets easier over time* Have routine medical checkups.

2. Nutrition

* Cut out or restrict the intake of caffeine and sugar in your diet* Eat regular meals, including breakfast* Take a lunch break away from your desk* Avoid crash diets* Eat from each of the food groups:

• Meat or other protein foods • Dairy products or other calcium sources• Fruits and vegetables • Cereal and grains

* Limit your salt intake * Remove all visible fat from meat* Substitute skim milk and low-fat dairy products for the regular variety* Avoid 'fast' foods* Request sauces and dressings on the side* Eliminate or limit alcohol* Quit smoking.

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“That what matters most should never be at the mercy of that which matters least.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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3. Relaxation

* Learn and practice self-relaxation techniques regularly* Take deep, slow breaths to calm down* Picture yourself handling a stressful experience - this will help you cope with the

actual situation better * Listen to music to help you relax * Create an environment in your home or office that will help you relax * Seek out variety and changes in your pace of life* Express your thoughts and feelings by writing them in a journal* Maintain and enjoy your sense of humour* Plan and schedule fun, relaxation and recreation* Get enough sleep.

4. Positive Thinking

* Identify negative self-thoughts and cognitive distortions• Nothing but perfect is good enough• You tend to dwell on the negative and ignore the positive (focus on all you could

not complete instead of what you have completed)• You criticise yourself with 'should-statements', ‘should-not's', 'must’s', 'ought to's';

‘have to's' etc. • You blow things way out of proportion• You label yourself negatively by identifying with your shortcomings. Instead of

saying; "I did not make a good job of this", you say: "I am no good."• You blame yourself for something you have no or little control over.• In difficult situations you see it as being PERMANENT (I will never master the

new computer programme!) PERSONAL (Why does this always happen to me?!)and/or pervasive (My whole life is a mess!)

* Practice changing these negative thought patterns and feelings into positive ones * Acknowledge and enjoy your positive characteristics* At the end of every day recall and celebrate all that was good and positive.

© FREE TO GROW May 2006

“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.”

Ovid

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5. Assertion Skills

* Say 'no' when people expect more of you than you are prepared to give. Do not offerexcuses or justify your behaviour, just state your position. Calmly repeat this till the per-son has heard you (broken record technique)

* Keep your language clear and focused * Practice being assertive at work and at home, starting with small challenges and then

tackling the bigger ones* Delegate responsibility to others where appropriate.

6. Time Management

* Set and prioritise short- and long-term goals* Regularly review your goals* Make daily 'to-do' lists with priorities indicated (e.g. A, B, C)* Set realistic deadlines* Break up major tasks and do one part at a time (Swiss cheese method)* Use the 4 D's: dump, do, delegate, delay* Maximise the time of day you work the best* Avoid procrastination* Minimise schedule interruptions. Discipline yourself to complete one task before start-

ing on another* Handle paper and materials once (See the 4 D's)* Maximise traveling and waiting time by reading, writing or returning phone calls.

© FREE TO GROW May 2006

“Excellence is not an act, but a habit.”Aristotle

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© FREE TO GROW May 2006 43

“Tomorrow is the childof today.”

African proverb

CONCLUSION

THE WAY FORWARD

a. What I should stop doing:

b. What I should start doing:

c. What I should continue doing: