www.rethink.org/siblings

My brother, my sister.

Supporting the siblings of people with mental illness.

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Our Siblings Network offers:

• Information and advice addressing both emotional and practical issues siblings may experience www.rethink.org/siblings

• Stories, blogs and videos by siblings www.rethink.org/siblingstories

• Local sibling support groups where people can share experiences and find understanding, and we support new groups to start www.rethink.org/siblingsupportgroups

• An online forum where siblings can share experiences and advice www.rethink.org/siblingforum

• Factsheets, videos and FAQs on topics from ‘how to support your sibling when they are depressed’ to ‘genetics and mental illness’ and ‘planning for the future’ www.rethink.org/siblingadvice

• Specialist advisers who can help with benefit problems, debt, access to services, medication and rights under the Mental Health Act. Call 0300 5000 927 Monday to Friday, 10am to 1pm or email advice@rethink.org

• Workshops and events where siblings can learn more about mental illness, how they can support their brother or sister and how to look after their own wellbeing www.rethink.org/siblingworkshops

• Opportunities to campaign for the rights of people affected by mental illness www.rethink.org/campaign

• Opportunities to participate in research to promote the needs of and improve provisions for siblings www.rethink.org/siblingresearch

• Information for parents who would like to know more about sibling issues www.rethink.org/parents

• A network for professionals who are interested in sharing best practice and ideas around how to support siblings. It includes resources they can use when working with siblings and families. www.rethink.org/professionals

WHAT IS THE SIBLINGS NETWORK?

At Rethink Mental Illness, we recognise that mental illness not only affects the person experiencing it, but also their family and friends; the people who care about that person. However, we realised that there was little support for the brothers and sisters of people affected by mental illness. That is why we launched the Siblings Network.

Our Siblings Network is an information and support network for anyone whose brother or sister has experienced, or is living with, a mental illness, whether they’ve recently been diagnosed, or have been living with mental illness for some time.

We also provide information for parents and professionals on how to best support the siblings of people with mental illness.

This booklet gives you a brief overview of the work that Rethink Mental illness is doing to support siblings, the benefits this has and how you can get involved. This can help you if you have a brother or sister affected by mental illness, if you’re a parent or other family member, if you have experience of mental health issues yourself or if you are a professional who would like to better support siblings in your work.

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Why do we need a Siblings Network?

We discovered through our research that although a brother or sister’s mental illness has a significant impact, there is little support and information for siblings who often struggle to find a place to get information and support.

A sibling relationship is most likely one of the longest we will experience in our lives, with many siblings providing care, both directly or indirectly, to their brother or sister. However, services “routinely fail to recognize the significance of the sibling bond” (Sin, Moone & Harris, 2008).

Providing the siblings of people with mental illness with access to information will not only help them to better cope with the effect mental illness has on them and their families, but also give them the tools to support their sibling and family. This can in turn help their brother or sister with their recovery.

In addition, siblings may be experiencing emotional or mental health difficulties themselves, but feel that their needs are not met, or cannot be considered, due to the severity of their brother or sister’s mental illness. By providing them with a space to talk and get information and support, they can have the opportunity to think about their own mental health and wellbeing.

WHY SUPPORT SIBLINGS?

How was the Siblings Network started?

The Siblings Network was created following requests from Rethink Mental Illness members and developed based on research into what siblings wanted and needed.

The project is overseen by a steering group, the majority of whom have a brother or sister affected by mental illness themselves and has been shaped by the ideas and suggestions of siblings throughout.

We are grateful to the Big Lottery Fund who have supported the project since its launch in July 2010.

A place for us? Establishing a sibling identity

Having a brother or sister with a mental illness can stir up complex emotions such as sadness, fear that you will become ill too, guilt that you’re not doing enough and even anger. Many siblings support their brother or sister in some way and can often provide help and support to the whole family, but often do not have access to support or information themselves.

Unlike people experiencing mental illness and those who see themselves as carers, siblings do not have an established identity of themselves as a group that requires, or indeed deserves, support or help. Siblings can sometimes feel confused and isolated and have no idea where to turn for advice and support, which is why the Siblings Network is so important.

I had only just discovered this site on the day my brother was sectioned ... and it was a huge source of support for me. It was the first time I realised there was any support for siblings of people affected by mental illness - and I very much appreciated everyone’s messages and kind words at a time when I was feeling very alone, angry and upset about my brother becoming ill again.

On finding the Siblings Network, many siblings report a feeling of relief at being able to express thoughts and emotions they have never had the chance to explore in an understanding, non-judgmental space. They have found this significantly helpful for their own emotional wellbeing.

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We have over 1000 members in our Siblings Network. Why don’t you join us? Sign up for regular updates on our website: www.rethink.org/siblings

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SUPPORTING EACH OTHER

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Sibling support groups and our online forum

I shared things with the group that I had never been able to say before, and got a lot of helpful advice from people who had gone through the same things on how they coped.

We have set up sibling support groups across England with plans for more over the coming year. The groups provide a chance for siblings to share experiences and advice, find a safe space to talk about their emotions as a sibling and gain insight from others.

At Rethink Mental Illness, we provide training for those who would like to set up a group in their local area, help promote the group and provide ongoing support to group facilitators.

We also have an online forum for siblings where they can share experiences, and get the chance to talk to people with lived experience of mental illness about their concerns and hopes.

I think it helps to have an outlet for your feelings – coming on here is great for that.

Join a group or start a sibling group in your local area You can find out more about local sibling groups at www.rethink.org/siblingsupportgroups Chat on the forum Get talking to other siblings right away on the siblings online forum at www.rethink.org/siblingforum

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I wondered, is it ok for me to talk about my experiences, when they are related to my sibling having a mental illness? I thought long and hard about it and decided I could.

SHARING STORIES

Hearing the stories of others can help you understand your own experiences better and also show you that you are not alone in how you are feeling. People have shared their stories through the sibling support groups, our online forum, through stories, blogs and videos on the website and by speaking out in the media.

For many, it is the first time they’ve spoken out, or indeed even put their experiences into words, and it is a powerful tool for learning and coming to terms with experiences that many siblings have in common.

Image from “We go to Sea with You”

by Martha Orbach

www.wegotoseawithyou.com

Hear from siblings Read our stories and blogs and watch our sibling videos www.rethink.org/siblingstories

Share your story Do you want to share your story with others? Email siblings@rethink.org for more information.

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WORKSHOPS AND EVENTS

“ “ A really empowering course. It feels great to have connected to such supportive, insightful and friendly people. I feel like I can cope a bit better and also keep a healthy space for myself as well as keep helping my sister. – an attendee of our Youth Mental Health First Aid course for siblings

We have delivered many workshops for siblings of various age groups, including: the latest research and treatments for schizophrenia and psychosis; planning for the future care of your sibling; drama workshops where siblings can explore their experiences; mental health information sessions in schools and certified Youth Mental Health First Aid courses where siblings can find out how they can support a young person experiencing mental health issues.

Siblings Connect: a national event

In May 2012, we held our first ever national event for the brothers and sisters of people affected by mental illness.

The day provided the chance to get together and share experiences and learn more about mental illness through workshops and talks.

For many, this was the first opportunity they’d had to talk about their experiences of having a sibling with mental illness, voice their worries and concerns, discuss their hopes and accomplishments and share their advice with others.

One sibling who attended told us about her experiences (next page):

Join a workshop or event Find out about the latest workshops and events in your area at www.rethink.org/siblingsworkshops or by signing up to our email updates on the Siblings Network homepage www.rethink.org/siblings

Professionals We could deliver a workshop in your local area. Contact us on siblings@rethink.org or visit www.rethink.org/siblingsworkshops for more information.

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When I arrived I looked at the stalls and it really hit me, and initially I just thought ‘I want to get out of here!’. I was feeling all these emotions I never knew I had and it was profoundly moving. I realised we were all there as we have siblings, which in day-to-day life you just never talk about, but we all had this in common.

I realised I’d never allowed myself to be sad for myself. Sometimes I’d be angry or sad for my parents or brother, but this day was really important as it gave me the space to feel sad. Just looking around I realised, we all need to be here!

It was a real thing to be given the permission without my parents there to talk, and for it to be about me and my relationship with my sibling with a mental illness, and my other sibling too.

And I know I’ve been talking about being sad, but there was a real feeling of positivity too, a sense that we can do something, that we’re stronger together, that we can affect change. Before I didn’t want to have to talk about mental illness. I thought, ‘My brother is ill and that’s enough’, but I’m a complete convert now. There was a sense of compassion, and a sense of community and the name Siblings Connect expresses what the day was about, as it really was a connection with other people.

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96% of those who came to the

conference said they came away

with a better understanding of how they could access support for themselves or their sibling.

Get info You can find out more about the event, watch videos and download information provided on the day at www.rethink.org/siblingsconnect Sign up Register for our regular sibling updates on the Siblings Network homepage to make sure you hear first about our upcoming events and workshops www.rethink.org/siblings

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INFORMATION AND ADVICE

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The more I learnt about mental illness, the easier things became.

We’ve created over 30 sibling-focused factsheets, videos and FAQs in partnership with siblings. Our resources provide practical and emotional tips on how to cope with issues such as:

• how to support a brother or sister affected by psychosis

• supporting a sibling who is suicidal

• supporting a brother or sister to find meaningful occupation

• genetics and mental illness

• planning for the future

The more informed a sibling is, the easier it is for them to look after themselves and support their family, whatever role they take. It can also empower a sibling to have the confidence to take action and open up conversations.

Parents

When one of your children is diagnosed with mental illness, it can be a very difficult time for the whole family. A mother’s experience is different than a father’s experience and a parent’s experience is different than that of a brother or sister.

Everyone will deal with the issues presented by mental illness in their own way and at their own rate, but it can help to talk about what is happening and learn more together.

Get info Visit www.rethink.org/siblingadvice for videos, factsheets and FAQs.

Talk to us Our advisers give expert advice to siblings and their families. Find out more at www.rethink.org/advice

What would you like to see? Let us know what you would find helpful on theSiblings Network site by emailing siblings@rethink.org

Get info and advice You can find tips and ideas of how to talk to your children and to look after yourself on the Siblings Network website www.rethink.org/parents

Talk to other parents on Rethink Mental Illness’ online forum: www.rethink.org/talk

Find a carers group in your local area Visit www.rethink.org/groups

And there’s lots more info on the Rethink Mental Illness website: www.rethink.org

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INFORMATION FOR PROFESSIONALS

As those who work in the field of mental health know, the support networks around a person who is affected by mental illness are important to help them in their recovery. By supporting siblings, you can help the whole family unit cope better with the challenges mental illness can bring.

We have built an information network for professionals to share best practice and ideas around mental illness, with supporter organisations including The Carers Trust, The Afiya Trust and SANE. We also provide a quarterly update to provide professionals with up-to-date information on how to best support siblings.

Signpost siblings and parents to our resources Contact siblings@rethink.org for posters and postcards promoting the Siblings Network.

Keep updated If you are a professional and want to stay up-to-date with the latest ideas, events and research from the Siblings Network, please email siblings@rethink.org to sign up for our quarterly professionals email.

Talk to other professionals Share ideas with others on our professionals forum at www.rethink.org/protalk

Commission our services We can deliver our workshops to help siblings in your service. Contact siblings@rethink.org for more information.

Interested in getting a support group started in your service or practice? Contact us for more information at siblings@rethink.org or tell siblings in your area to visit www.rethink.org/siblingsupportgroups and we’ll help them get started.

You can also visit our professionals pages for more information and tips on how to support siblings at www.rethink.org/professionals

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TELL PEOPLE ABOUT US!

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The mere fact that it exists is amazing. I never dreamed of the possibility of an organisation specifically there for people in my situation. Its existence makes me feel a lot less isolated.

We want to grow our Siblings Network and build on the success of the last few years. You can help us by promoting the network to your family, friends and colleagues. Many siblings tell us they wish they had found this help years ago, so let’s make sure people get the support they need now.

If you would like posters and postcards to advertise the project in your area, please contact siblings@rethink.org with your address and we will send you some free promotional materials.

You can also use the inside back cover of this booklet as a poster for use in your local GP, mental health ward, college, university or community centre.

We hope to hear from you!

Challenging attitudes, changing lives.

www.rethink.org

Registered in England Number 1227970. Registered Charity Number 271028. Registered Office 89 Albert Embankment, London, SE1 7TP. Rethink Mental Illness is the operating name of National Schizophrenia Fellowship, a company lim-ited by guarantee Rethink Mental Illness 2011.

Do you have a brother or sisterwith mental health problems?

www.rethink.org/siblings• Find out about mental illness

• Read stories and blogs

• Join a support group

• Talk with other siblings

• Get the support you need

You are not alone.

Challenging attitudes, changing lives.

Registered in England Number 1227970. Registered Charity Number 271028. Registered Office 89 Albert Embankment, London, SE1 7TP. Rethink Mental Illness is the operating name of National Schizophrenia Fellowship, a company limited by guarantee Rethink Mental Illness 2011.

Rethink Mental Illness is a partner in

Leading the way to a betterquality of life for everyoneaffected by severe mental illness

For further informationon Rethink Mental IllnessTelephone 0300 5000 927Email: info@rethink.org

www.rethink.org

Rethink Mental Illness is a charity that believes a better life is possible for millions of people affected by mental illness.

40 years ago, one man bravely spoke about his family’s experiences of mental illness in a letter to the Times and in the process brought together hundreds to talk about their experiences of mental illness and support each other.

Today we directly support almost 60,000 people every year across England to get through crises, to live independently and to realise they are not alone.

Our website and helplines give information and advice to 500,000 more and we change policy and attitudes for millions.

Our services, support groups, and members cover every county in England, giving us local insight and helping us spread innovations nationally.

All our work is governed by people who have lived through mental illness.