Supporting Schools to Succeed© LB Havering Penny’s book box Penny Patterson Chair LSCB sub group...

Supporting Schools to Succeed © LB Havering www.havering-sis.org

Penny’s book box

Penny PattersonChair LSCB sub group

Exploitation, Hidden Harm and Esafety


Resources to support difficult

timesPenny Patterson

Chair LSCB sub groupExploitation, Hidden Harm and Esafety


Resources to support difficult times• Books• TV• Films• Games• Web sites


Resources to support difficult times

•Books• TV• Films• Games• Web sites


• http://www.partnershipforchildren.org.uk/GBTTHome.html


Building your own list


• The diary of Anne Frank• A series of unfortunate events

Lemony Snicket• The Bat-chen diaries


Instead, we wake up to a sad reality,Where pain is laced with hatred.We cannot digest the enormity of this loss,Or comprehend its harshness.

Bat-Chen ShahakNovember 1995

In a letter to Leah Rabin, widow of Prime Minister Yizhak Rabin…


• Photo albums• Home made photo books• Talking books


There is surely nothing worse than losing your much-loved child. Nothing at all.

Every day I remember our daughter Jennifer and cherish the 10 days we were able to spend with her.

Every day I try to focus on the happy memories that exist as a way to remember and appreciate her short life.

Every day I hope also to help the impact of her life grow through the life-saving work of scientists at the Jennifer Brown Research Laboratory in Edinburgh. Their clinical work on the causes and consequences of pregnancy difficulties and prematurity is groundbreaking. The research team is doggedly looking for new information to help the work of our great obstetricians, midwives and other professionals across the Health Service. We have the support of many other parents who make a little sense of their own loss through seeking to help other babies and families in the future.

In the UK about 1 in 200 babies die soon after birth from pregnancy, delivery and other complications. In addition about 1 in 200 stillbirths means further loss and anguish for parents. Of course, in the developing world where the rate of infant and maternal mortality is so high, the tragedy of each loss is equally great, but more commonplace, and many of those deaths so heartbreakingly preventable with simple interventions.Since Jennifer’s death in 2002, I have spoken many times to mums and dads, grandparents, and other family members and close friends who have experienced a similar loss. We all learn from each other. There is lots of advice to be had, of course, but everyone has their personal journey to take. Talking with others is so valuable. And the cliché that the passage of times helps is certainly true. The first lesson is to recognize that the big overwhelming debilitating pain that hits from time to time does subside and, as hard as it is to go through it, you learn that you do come out of the other side each time.The advice that most helped me is something I don’t even remember whether I was told personally or read in a book, but it made all the difference. I learned simply that I did not need to find a way to mend myself, nor to return to being the person I was before. I had assumed that I must find a way to recover and resume my life which proved impossible. Instead I realised that the loss of this was okay. With that understanding, a burden lifted from my shoulders and I looked afresh at how to move forward. I see others struggle to resume their familiar lives and often share that piece of advice.

The other thing I have learned is to continually open my heart to the love I feel for my daughter, no matter how painful that can be at times. There is a temptation to put something that hurts to one side in order to cope better in daily life. Actually the reverse is true. Just recognising the full extent of your love means you can cherish, remember and properly honour the person you have lost – and know that you are denying them nothing. As all parents know, your child is the first person you meet for whom you would do anything at all, with no thought for your own self.

It is true for the child who lives in your heart as for the child who lives in your home. © Sarah BrownJune 2011 This article was first printed in 'The Death of A Child', a collection of essays edited by Peter Stanford and published by Continuum Publishing in June 2011.


I learned simply that I did not need to find a way to mend myself, nor to return to being the person I was before. I had assumed that I must find a way to recover and resume my life which proved impossible. Instead I realised that the loss of this was okay. With that understanding, a burden lifted from my shoulders and I looked afresh at how to move forward. I see others struggle to resume their familiar lives and often share that piece of advice.

The other thing I have learned is to continually open my heart to the love I feel for my daughter, no matter how painful that can be at times. There is a temptation to put something that hurts to one side in order to cope better in daily life. Actually the reverse is true. Just recognising the full extent of your love means you can cherish, remember and properly honour the person you have lost – and know that you are denying them nothing. As all parents know, your child is the first person you meet for whom you would do anything at all, with no thought for your own self.

It is true for the child who lives in your heart as for the child who lives in your home.

With kind permission and © Sarah Brown


@haveringLSCB@penny_patterson

Supporting Schools to Succeed© LB Havering Penny’s book box Penny Patterson Chair LSCB sub group...

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