sunday life part 1

1
14 | NEWS www.sundaylife.co.uk Sunday Life 19 JUNE 2011 GAIL HENDERSON LIKE many dads today, Steve Carter will be treated to a special Father’s Day breakfast by his young family. He will be presented with a card and has heard whispers of their plans to wash his car. But while Steve’s four children Cameron, 8, Ethan, 7, Aaron, 3, and two- yearold Leah — want to make a fuss of him this Father’s Day, he credits them with getting him through the last two years. In March 2009, the Glengormley man suddenly became a single dad when his wife Denise died after suffering a rup- tured aneurysm immediately after giv- ing birth to their daughter. Since then his children have given him the strength he needed to get through the dark days. Steve, who is originally from England, met Antrim-born Denise in Australia in 1998 and they immediately hit it off. After three years together they settled here and, in 2001, they married in a romantic beachside ceremony in Cuba. The following year Denise gave birth to their first son, Cameron, and Ethan arrived in 2003. Steve said: “Things were pretty much perfect. I got a new job working for the Halifax bank, which I loved. It was bril- liant with the boys — I was in my ele- ment and Denise loved it as well. “It was always in the back of our minds that it would be nice to have a girl. We thought we would try for one more and Aaron came along. So we had three wonder- ful boys.” Just before Denise’s 40th birthday the couple decided to try a final time for a daughter and Denise fell pregnant straight away. But in March 2009, two weeks before the due date, doctors noticed that the baby had not grown during the previous week. Although the medical staff were not unduly con- cerned, they decid- ed to induce labour. “At that stage you just hope everything is all right,” Steve said. “You don’t worry if it’s a boy or a girl, you just pray the baby is healthy.” By the evening of March 29 Denise had reached the final stages of labour. “Everything was going well,” Steve said. “Denise gave the last push at 10.32 — that time is etched in my brain. The mid- wife went to clean the baby up and I turned to Denise but she just collapsed. “All of a sudden the alarms went off and doctors rushed in. “They put me in the next room with Leah. Then the doc- tor came in and explained that Denise had suffered a massive bleed to the brain, had suffered a couple of cardiac arrests, and had no blood pressure.” The gravity of the situation sank in when a midwife asked if Denise was reli- gious, as they could contact a priest. Denise was put on a life-support machine and Steve spent that night praying for her recovery. But his worst fears were confirmed the next day when it became clear she would not survive. That day Steve and Denise's family agreed that she would have wanted her organs to be donated. It's a decision that has helped Steve cope. “Denise was such a kind and helpful person and I sat down with her family and said I thought she would have liked to help someone else,” he said. “For the boys to know that their mum helped someone else after such a tragic thing would be comforting.” The family has since been told that Denise saved the lives of five people, which is incredibly rare. Another comfort was when doctors told Steve that the aneurysm could have ruptured at any time. Steve said: “In one sense it was cruel because it happened at that particular time, but it could have happened when she was driving the children to school for example.” Steve says one big regret is the fact that Denise had died without knowing that she had given birth to a beautiful daughter. While baby Leah stayed in hospital, Steve had the heartbreaking task of telling his young sons the tragic news. “The hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life was come home that day and tell the boys,” he said. “They were waiting for me to come home and tell them they’ve got a new brother or sister. That was the worst thing, to sit them down and try to Mark’s sons help him to smile again LOSS: Mark jr died of meningitis SARA GIRVIN THE worthy winner of Sunday Life’s Father’s Day competition has told how winning the con- test helped him to smile again after the pain of losing his teenage son to meningitis. East Belfast man Mark Elliott and his family have endured an horrific 18 months. At just 41 years of age, Mark has been made redundant three times in the past year and a half — but that stress paled into insignificance last November when his 19-year-old son, also called Mark, passed away just two days after being diagnosed with meningitis. This is the first Father’s Day he will be spending without his eldest son. His other two boys, 15-year- old Dylan and six-year-old Nathan, nominated their dedi- cated dad for our competition because they “wanted to see him smile again”. Mark’s prize package includes a male-grooming makeover by Jason Shankey, teeth whitening, a £1,500 bespoke suit, shirt and tie from Chester Barrie at House of Fraser, a case of beer, three personal training sessions and a £500 Terry Bradley can- vas print. He told Sunday Life: “We’ve gone from being financially bro- ken — not knowing where the next mortgage payment is com- ing from — to truly knowing how generous people can be.” Mark said this Father’s Day would be one of raw emotion. He plans to visit his son’s grave with the rest of his family, and will also listen to a Keith Urban CD Mark bought him last year, which includes a ‘Song for Dad’ — his last cherished Father’s Day gift from his son. In tribute to their “giving” son, the Elliotts donated Mark’s organs — which saved the lives of five people. His dad said: “Mark would have done anything for anyone so donating his organs was what he would have wanted. His loss turned our family upside down — but we will always carry his memory with us.” DESERVED: Mark in his new suit EXCLUSIVE COPING WITH THE TRAGIC LOSS OF A LOVED ONE MY DAD’S Br a v eS t e v et ells ho w his childr en ga v e him the s tr en gth t oc arr y on af t er his wif e died givin g bir th t o the dau ght er the y alw a ys w ant ed REMEMBERED: Steve and his kids Cameron, Ethan, Aaron and Leah still talk about Denise (pic- tured right) everyday

description

sunday life newspaper artical

Transcript of sunday life part 1

Page 1: sunday life part 1

14 | NEWS www.sundaylife.co.uk Sunday Life 19 JUNE 2011

GAIL HENDERSON

LIKE many dads today, Steve Carter willbe treated to a special Father’s Daybreakfast by his young family.He will be presented with a card and

has heard whispers of their plans towash his car.But while Steve’s four children —

Cameron, 8, Ethan, 7, Aaron, 3, and two-yearold Leah — want to make a fuss ofhim this Father’s Day, he credits themwith getting him through the last twoyears.In March 2009, the Glengormley man

suddenly became a single dad when hiswife Denise died after suffering a rup-tured aneurysm immediately after giv-ing birth to their daughter.Since then his children have given

him the strength he needed to getthrough the dark days.Steve, who is originally from England,

met Antrim-born Denise in Australia in1998 and they immediately hit it off.After three years together they settled

here and, in 2001, they married in aromantic beachside ceremony in Cuba.The following year Denise gave birth

to their first son, Cameron, and Ethanarrived in 2003.Steve said: “Things were pretty much

perfect. I got a new job working for theHalifax bank, which I loved. It was bril-liant with the boys — I was in my ele-ment and Denise loved it as well.“It was always in the back of our

minds that it would be nice to have agirl. We thought we wouldtry for one more andAaron came along. Sowe had three wonder-ful boys.”Just before Denise’s

40th birthday the coupledecided to try a finaltime for a daughterand Denise fellpregnant straightaway.But in March

2009, two weeksbefore the duedate, doctorsnoticed that thebaby had not grownduring the previousweek.Although the

medical staff werenot unduly con-cerned, they decid-ed to induce labour.“At that stage you

just hope everythingis all right,” Stevesaid. “You don’t

worry if it’s a boy or agirl, you just pray thebaby is healthy.”By the evening of

March 29 Denise hadreached the finalstages of labour.“Everything was

going well,” Steve said.“Denise gave thelast push at 10.32 —that time is etched inmy brain. The mid-wife went to cleanthe baby up and Iturned to Denise butshe just collapsed.“All of a sudden

the alarms went offand doctors rushedin.“They put me inthe next room withLeah. Then the doc-

tor came in and explained that Denisehad suffered a massive bleed to thebrain, had suffered a couple of cardiacarrests, and had no blood pressure.”The gravity of the situation sank in

when a midwife asked if Denise was reli-gious, as they could contact a priest.Denise was put on a life-support

machine and Steve spent that nightpraying for her recovery. But his worstfears were confirmed the next day whenit became clear she would not survive.That day Steve and Denise's family

agreed that she would have wanted herorgans to be donated. It's a decision thathas helped Steve cope.“Denise was such a kind and helpful

person and I sat down with her familyand said I thought she would have likedto help someone else,” he said.“For the boys to know that their mum

helped someone else after such a tragicthing would be comforting.”The family has since been told that

Denise saved the lives of five people,which is incredibly rare.Another comfort was when doctors

told Steve that the aneurysm could haveruptured at any time.Steve said: “In one sense it was cruel

because it happened at that particulartime, but it could have happened whenshe was driving the children to schoolfor example.”Steve says one big regret is the fact

that Denise had died without knowingthat she had given birth to a beautifuldaughter.While baby Leah stayed in hospital,

Steve had the heartbreaking task oftelling his young sons the tragic news.“The hardest thing I've ever had to do

in my life was come home that day andtell the boys,” he said.“They were waiting for me to come

home and tell them they’ve got a newbrother or sister. That was the worstthing, to sit them down and try to

Mark’s sonshelp him tosmile again

LOSS: Mark jr died of meningitis

SARA GIRVIN

THE worthy winner of SundayLife’s Father’s Day competitionhas told how winning the con-test helped him to smile againafter the pain of losing histeenage son to meningitis.East Belfast man Mark

Elliott and his family haveendured an horrific 18 months.At just 41 years of age, Mark

has been made redundantthree times in the past yearand a half — but that stresspaled into insignificance lastNovember when his 19-year-oldson, also called Mark, passedaway just two days after beingdiagnosed with meningitis.This is the first Father’s Day

he will be spending without hiseldest son.His other two boys, 15-year-

old Dylan and six-year-oldNathan, nominated their dedi-cated dad for our competitionbecause they “wanted to seehim smile again”.Mark’s prize package includes

a male-grooming makeover byJason Shankey, teeth whitening,

a £1,500 bespoke suit, shirt andtie from Chester Barrie atHouse of Fraser, a case of beer,three personal training sessionsand a £500 Terry Bradley can-vas print.He told Sunday Life: “We’ve

gone from being financially bro-ken — not knowing where thenext mortgage payment is com-ing from — to truly knowinghow generous people can be.”Mark said this Father’s Day

would be one of raw emotion.He plans to visit his son’s gravewith the rest of his family, andwill also listen to a Keith UrbanCD Mark bought him last year,which includes a ‘Song for Dad’— his last cherished Father’sDay gift from his son.In tribute to their “giving”

son, the Elliotts donatedMark’s organs — which savedthe lives of five people.His dad said: “Mark would

have done anything for anyoneso donating his organs waswhat he would have wanted. Hisloss turned our family upsidedown — but we will alwayscarry his memory with us.”

DESERVED: Mark in his new suit

EXCLUSIVE COPING WITH THE TRAGIC LOSS OF A LOVED ONE

MYDAD’SBrave Steve tells how his childrengave him the strength to carry onafter his wife died giving birth tothe daughter they always wanted

REMEMBERED:Steve and his kidsCameron, Ethan,Aaron and Leah stilltalk about Denise (pic-tured right) everyday