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Transcript of sunday life part 1
14 | NEWS www.sundaylife.co.uk Sunday Life 19 JUNE 2011
GAIL HENDERSON
LIKE many dads today, Steve Carter willbe treated to a special Father’s Daybreakfast by his young family.He will be presented with a card and
has heard whispers of their plans towash his car.But while Steve’s four children —
Cameron, 8, Ethan, 7, Aaron, 3, and two-yearold Leah — want to make a fuss ofhim this Father’s Day, he credits themwith getting him through the last twoyears.In March 2009, the Glengormley man
suddenly became a single dad when hiswife Denise died after suffering a rup-tured aneurysm immediately after giv-ing birth to their daughter.Since then his children have given
him the strength he needed to getthrough the dark days.Steve, who is originally from England,
met Antrim-born Denise in Australia in1998 and they immediately hit it off.After three years together they settled
here and, in 2001, they married in aromantic beachside ceremony in Cuba.The following year Denise gave birth
to their first son, Cameron, and Ethanarrived in 2003.Steve said: “Things were pretty much
perfect. I got a new job working for theHalifax bank, which I loved. It was bril-liant with the boys — I was in my ele-ment and Denise loved it as well.“It was always in the back of our
minds that it would be nice to have agirl. We thought we wouldtry for one more andAaron came along. Sowe had three wonder-ful boys.”Just before Denise’s
40th birthday the coupledecided to try a finaltime for a daughterand Denise fellpregnant straightaway.But in March
2009, two weeksbefore the duedate, doctorsnoticed that thebaby had not grownduring the previousweek.Although the
medical staff werenot unduly con-cerned, they decid-ed to induce labour.“At that stage you
just hope everythingis all right,” Stevesaid. “You don’t
worry if it’s a boy or agirl, you just pray thebaby is healthy.”By the evening of
March 29 Denise hadreached the finalstages of labour.“Everything was
going well,” Steve said.“Denise gave thelast push at 10.32 —that time is etched inmy brain. The mid-wife went to cleanthe baby up and Iturned to Denise butshe just collapsed.“All of a sudden
the alarms went offand doctors rushedin.“They put me inthe next room withLeah. Then the doc-
tor came in and explained that Denisehad suffered a massive bleed to thebrain, had suffered a couple of cardiacarrests, and had no blood pressure.”The gravity of the situation sank in
when a midwife asked if Denise was reli-gious, as they could contact a priest.Denise was put on a life-support
machine and Steve spent that nightpraying for her recovery. But his worstfears were confirmed the next day whenit became clear she would not survive.That day Steve and Denise's family
agreed that she would have wanted herorgans to be donated. It's a decision thathas helped Steve cope.“Denise was such a kind and helpful
person and I sat down with her familyand said I thought she would have likedto help someone else,” he said.“For the boys to know that their mum
helped someone else after such a tragicthing would be comforting.”The family has since been told that
Denise saved the lives of five people,which is incredibly rare.Another comfort was when doctors
told Steve that the aneurysm could haveruptured at any time.Steve said: “In one sense it was cruel
because it happened at that particulartime, but it could have happened whenshe was driving the children to schoolfor example.”Steve says one big regret is the fact
that Denise had died without knowingthat she had given birth to a beautifuldaughter.While baby Leah stayed in hospital,
Steve had the heartbreaking task oftelling his young sons the tragic news.“The hardest thing I've ever had to do
in my life was come home that day andtell the boys,” he said.“They were waiting for me to come
home and tell them they’ve got a newbrother or sister. That was the worstthing, to sit them down and try to
Mark’s sonshelp him tosmile again
LOSS: Mark jr died of meningitis
SARA GIRVIN
THE worthy winner of SundayLife’s Father’s Day competitionhas told how winning the con-test helped him to smile againafter the pain of losing histeenage son to meningitis.East Belfast man Mark
Elliott and his family haveendured an horrific 18 months.At just 41 years of age, Mark
has been made redundantthree times in the past yearand a half — but that stresspaled into insignificance lastNovember when his 19-year-oldson, also called Mark, passedaway just two days after beingdiagnosed with meningitis.This is the first Father’s Day
he will be spending without hiseldest son.His other two boys, 15-year-
old Dylan and six-year-oldNathan, nominated their dedi-cated dad for our competitionbecause they “wanted to seehim smile again”.Mark’s prize package includes
a male-grooming makeover byJason Shankey, teeth whitening,
a £1,500 bespoke suit, shirt andtie from Chester Barrie atHouse of Fraser, a case of beer,three personal training sessionsand a £500 Terry Bradley can-vas print.He told Sunday Life: “We’ve
gone from being financially bro-ken — not knowing where thenext mortgage payment is com-ing from — to truly knowinghow generous people can be.”Mark said this Father’s Day
would be one of raw emotion.He plans to visit his son’s gravewith the rest of his family, andwill also listen to a Keith UrbanCD Mark bought him last year,which includes a ‘Song for Dad’— his last cherished Father’sDay gift from his son.In tribute to their “giving”
son, the Elliotts donatedMark’s organs — which savedthe lives of five people.His dad said: “Mark would
have done anything for anyoneso donating his organs waswhat he would have wanted. Hisloss turned our family upsidedown — but we will alwayscarry his memory with us.”
DESERVED: Mark in his new suit
EXCLUSIVE COPING WITH THE TRAGIC LOSS OF A LOVED ONE
MYDAD’SBrave Steve tells how his childrengave him the strength to carry onafter his wife died giving birth tothe daughter they always wanted
REMEMBERED:Steve and his kidsCameron, Ethan,Aaron and Leah stilltalk about Denise (pic-tured right) everyday