TO SAY THE LEAST, these are uncertain times. As adults, we have spent several months facing social distancing, scarcity of resources, financial uncertainty, and feelings of isolation. But for most of us, we have a frame of reference that gives us hope. We know what “normal” looked like before, and we can visualize what a new normal might look like when the danger of the current pandemic is over. Even at the time of this writing, our country is starting to dip its toe back into a “reopened” society.

But what of those children in care who are in group homes and institutional settings, who have gone from one state of disruption - to which they have become as accustomed as is possible for them - to this new state of uncertainty? What does it look like to their eyes when even the adults who have always been in control, who have given them at least a sense of routine and safety, are not sure what the future holds? It must be terrifying.

PART 1 - CONTACT In our Relationships Are Decisions (RAD!) Program we have built relationships with children and young adults using our one worker - one child model, with twice monthly in-person

meetings between each client and their Future Worker. This has given, in our experience, a sense of hope, reliability, and empowerment to kids in the program.

And then, suddenly, all in-person contact had to stop.

The Family Focus team immediately went into problem-solving mode. Our commitment, and

our promise, has been to fill a gap in the system, and in the lives of the children, with consistency and reliability. And here we were being told that the in-person contact that is so important to the way our program works was no longer allowed. How could we avoid b e c o m i n g y e t a n o t h e r example of people who faded from the kids’ lives?

Of primary importance was making sure contact with the children would not decrease. In fact, we decided to attempt to increase it. Our Future Workers began initiating more contact, using not only phones but wherever possible, video chats. In addition, we encouraged the kids, even more than we always have, to contact their Future Workers whenever they wanted to, even daily if they wished. Would they do it? We weren’t sure, so we decided to give them incentive.

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S U M M E R 2 0 2 0

Issue 34

CONTACT, CARE, AND CONSISTENCY DURING COVID-19

E M P O W E R I N G C H I L D R E N / T R A N S F O R M I N G L I V E SE M P O W E R I N G C H I L D R E N / T R A N S F O R M I N G L I V E S

familyFOCUSfamilyFOCUSAdoption Services

See Jack’s blog archives!

CONTACT, CARE… CONT’D

CERTIFICATION TRAINING:

has been suspended

during the Covid-19

pandemic. Check our

website for updates to

our calendar.

See our website to join!

Since Last Newsletter…

1 teen moved in with his maybe-dads just

as stay-in-place orders began, and we had

our first-ever Step 1 meeting with them

using video conferencing!

1 young man in our GATE Program moved

into his own apartment.

Shop online? Go to

smile.amazon.com

first. Choose Family Focus and

a portion of every purchase is

donated to us!

RAD! Program Update

:

We have now

had 46 chil

dren in

the RAD! Prog

ram from 13

counties:

15 are finali

zed! 4 are l

iving with

families (and 1 o

f them will be

finalized when th

e courts

reopen). 6 a

re visiting w

ith

families - now all vi

deo visiting.

2 have bee

n matched but

are

not yet visit

ing. 5 we are

actively sea

rching to fin

d

families for. 4 a

re new to th

e

program. And 1 h

as moved into

our adult G

ATE program

.

5 have retu

rned to fam

ily, 3 left

the program

, and 1 moved

on to

adult servic

es.

Through the generosity of our Chocolate Milk Club members, who pay monthly dues, we have the means to pay the children a “stipend” of $2 for every call they initiate. To us it is a nominal amount, but to them, it shows our seriousness, and the importance we place on maintaining the relationships. Many of the kids have taken to this development eagerly.

PART 2 - CARE Have you recently turned around and discovered that you were missing something you needed, and that you could ordinarily run out to the store for, only to suddenly realize that this was no longer so easy? That disruption is jarring, and something we don’t want our children to experience. Beyond daily living needs, families usually provide “the little things” that make kids feel cared for and valued, but in the case of our clients who are not living with families, there is even

less chance that anyone can provide those things. So we decided that we would send them twice-monthly care packages. Again, through the generosity of our CMC members, Future Workers are able to ask the kids, “What’s something you would like?” and then send it to them, along with some surprises they might enjoy.

We have been amazed by some of the requests that they have made. A particular snack. A spool of thread for crafts. Clothes for their dolls. Stuffed animals. A special blanket. A roll of tape! Seemingly trivial, the significance of these items could easily be lost, but truly they make so much sense. It might not be the items per se, but the simple ability to ask for – and receive – the little things that we might take for granted in a non-pandemic world, that is important. The impact that providing these care packages has had on the kids has been

astounding. It opens up new conversations. It s t rengthens relat ionships. I t provides something to look forward to. It creates hope.

PART 3 - CONSISTENCY But what of those kids on the cusp of aging out of foster care? At 21, young adults without family supports are forced to make a go of it on their own. They can access adult services, it is true. But once out of care, they usually lose even the institutional staff and county worker relationships that they had. During the limitations of the current health crisis, with no foster care extensions on the horizon from the state, these newly “independent” folks have to f ind a place to l ive. At a t ime when unemployment is skyrocketing, they have to try to find a job. And at a time when everyone is locked down, they have to find a way to not feel completely alone and isolated.

When we created our GATE Program, in order to fill yet another gap in the system and provide these young folks with someone to guide them as they are launched into adulthood, we never imagined that our first real test would happen during a worldwide crisis. Months ago we found a landlord who was willing to rent rooms knowing that our clients had the GATE Program in place. Then we planned how the client-Gate Worker team would set up the new room, learn the transportation system, practice shopping, and work on finding employment.

On May 3rd, in the middle of statewide shelter-in-place regulations, our first independent young adult, “Mike,” was required to move into his own place. And Family Focus was there. For a few days before, we moved Mike’s belongings, because he couldn’t do it himself or he would not have been allowed back into his

residence due to possible virus exposure. We opened a bank account for him so he could withdraw his rent money and hand it to the landlord himself; and eventually his GATE Worker would help him learn to manage money and pay bills. And on the day of Mike’s twenty-first birthday, our own Executive Director, Jack Brennan, was waiting outside as Mike, who otherwise would have nothing and nobody in his life, walked out the door of his former residence with his last box of stuff tucked under his arm, exited his old life, and entered his new one. Not without hope. Not alone.

In the few short weeks since then, Mike and his GATE Worker have been in con tac t consistently every day. In addition, his RAD!

Future Worker continues to keep in touch with him. He can’t find work yet, of course, but he was given a bit of help from his county to get him started. In the meantime, his needs are being provided t h r o u g h t h e G A T E Program fund we created with donations to our agency. He has a phone and a tablet that Family

Focus gave him so he can keep busy and keep in touch. And by all reports, Mike is doing well.

Where would Mike be without the help of our GATE Program? Where would our RAD! kids be without their Future Workers? Think about where you would be without the contact of someone you could rely on, the consistency of a relationship you knew would be there for you no matter what may come. Without someone you knew you could reach out to, not only because they were caring for you, but because they cared. During the most challenging of times, the future exists for us because we have hope. And in every way possible, that is what we, with the help of our supporters, endeavor to provide for our kids and young adults.

MEMBERS:Vivian Alexopoulos & Anna Brady

Judith & Mark AshtonDeana Balahtsis

Sandy & Lenny BerenbaumArnold & Roz Bernstein

Lisa Binder & Joe RutkowskiJennifer & Myles BlechnerMaris & Stewart Blechner

Judith BrambrutBobby & Penny Brennan

Ephraim BrennanJack Brennan

Cecilia Broderick & Julianne BatesRich & Ken Buley-Neumar

Denise & Bill CallahanTony & Nancy Campo

Garland and Virgen Carey

Julie ChernyGina DeCrescenzo

Tito Del PilarPam & Bob DeMan

Constance DoughertyBeverly and Bill FeigelmanJoanne & Anthony Ferrante

Bennett FinkelsteinMaura Fitzgerald-JainschigJoel & Almarie Fridovich

In Memory Of Lynn FridovichGilberto & Lisa Gonzalez

Laurie Griffin IMO Keith GriffinRosa Griffin

Alan & Lorrie HallMichelle Hatzopoulos &

Stephen KnellCamille Hehn

Christopher HehnRichard & Denise Hughes

Liam & Cara IrwinTova Klein & Travis Cloud

Fay LeoussisAnne & Peter Lipke

Gladys LopezLinda Mahler-Castellano

Liz & Mike McAleerDarryl McBroom

Kathleen McQuownValjean Minichino

Ines MiyaresJohn & Linda Nelson

Lillian Neumar & Robert MeyerWilliam O’Keefe

Shawn O’Riley & Sara HornsteinMary and Bob Peel

Denise & Rob PilgrimChris Pragman & Laura Lee Blechner

Marguerite RicciardoneLucy Rudek

William and Merit RudekSandi & Roger Salerno

Judith SantoianniLinda & Michael Schwartz

Sharon Sorrentino & John O’KeefeKathe & Steve Stojowski

Lisa StojowskiMichael StokesMarjorie StrongPaul Tompkins

Roxane VenezianoSharon Wennlund

Rick WhitakerEllen David Zeiger

DONATIONS IN HONOR/MEMORY OF:

CHOCOLATE MILK CLUB MEMBERS AND DONATIONS

(Donations are from 2/16/20 through 5/15/20)

Maris & Stewart Blechner IMO Michael Besser Maris & Stewart Blechner IMO Jack Cohen

Maris & Stewart Blechner IMO James Elton Green Maris & Stewart Blechner IMO Willy Helmreich

Maris & Stewart Blechner IMO Chuck Mitchell Maris & Stewart Blechner IMO Lester Ostrofsky Maris & Stewart Blechner IMO Martin Waxgiser

John & Ruth Anne Zulich IMO Dannell Spannagel

Please send correspondence to: Family Focus Adoption Services

535 Broadhollow Road, Suite B-42, Melville, NY 11747 718-224-1919 www.familyfocusadoption.org With training and meeting centers in Little Neck (NY Metro), Castleton (Capital District), and Liverpool (Central New York)

DONATIONS AND GRANTSAmazon Smile

Anonymous through Facebook Network for Good Judith & Mark Ashton

Elizabeth Cardone April Dubison & Alexandr Lerner

Lisa Green Alan & Lorrie Hall

Earl Hassel

Joshua Polenberg Christopher Pragman

Sandi & Roger Salerno Linda Wallace

Matches: Macy’s

Pfizer Foundation

Grants: Hyde & Watson Foundation

Stewart’s Foundation

SPECIAL THANKS FOR SEVERAL ANONYMOUS DONATIONS TO OUR

COVID-19 RELIEF FUND

“Your connections to all the things around you literally

define who you are”

Aaron D. O’Connell

CMC DONATIONS: Dianne & Harold Alexander to CMC IMO Dannell Spannagel

Roz and Arnie Bernstein to CMC IMO Michael Besser

June 2020

Folks,

This is our semi-annual fundraising appeal letter. Six months ago, we announced that all donations received as a result of the appeals henceforth would be going straight towards our new GATE Program, 100%. All fundraising costs would be absorbed by the agency. Those funds that we received six months ago have allowed us to finance this non-government-funded program to this point, and somewhat into the future.

It is a wonderful program and I expect it to become a model for how to discharge those foster kids from the system who age out instead of going to their families or being adopted. We are very grateful to all whom have given to support the program.

But this June we live in a new world. It is so different that we cannot ask you, in good conscience, to donate money to the program, nor to the agency, for our long-term needs when so many of those in our country need immediate assistance, most especially for food.

If you are willing and able to make a donation, and if you were planning to make that donation to our GATE Program, we are asking you instead to donate wherever the need is more immediate – possibly to your local food bank. If you would like to do that in our honor, we’d be proud.

I – we – wish each and every one of you safety and health as we go through this worldwide crisis together.

One day a receding tide beached thousands of starfish, which were suffering in the hot sun. A man came upon a young boy who was picking them up and carefully tossing them back into the water, one after the other. The man said to the boy, “There are miles of beach, and thousands of starfish. What you are doing can’t possibly make a difference.” The boy bent down and picked up another starfish, and gently tossed it into the surf. Then he smiled at the man, and said, “It made. difference for that one.”

One day a receding tide beached thousands of starfish, which were struggling in the hot sun. A man came upon a young boy who was picking them up and carefully tossing them back into the water, one after the other. The man said to the boy, “There are miles of beach, and thousands of starfish. What you are doing can’t possibly make a difference.” The boy bent down and picked up another starfish, and gently tossed it into the surf. Then he smiled at the man, and said, “It made a difference for that one.”