THESTRESSOFLIFE

Understandingandmanagingstress

ByRev.PeterPereiraBTh.Grad.Dip.(Chris.Couns.)MCCA,PACFA20046

SECTION1UNDERSTANDINGSTRESS

WHATISSTRESS

Despitedecadesofresearchintostressthereisstillnoagreedupondefinitionofwhatstressis(Rees&Redfern2000:120).Despitethis,stressisoftendefinedastheresponseofthebodytothreatsordemands(Schiraldi&Kerr,2002:277).

Thewordstresswasintroducedduringthe1930sbyscientistHansSelye.Selyewasthefirsttotakeseriousnoteofthehumanphysiologicalsystemsthatwerebroughtintoplaywhenapersonresponded toachallenge(McEwen,2002:11).Selyesresearch(1978)ledtotheconclusionthatthehumanbodypossessesamechanismwhichassistsincopingwithdemandsplaceduponit.Selyenamedthismechanismthegeneraladaptationsyndrome.EventuallySelyereplacedthisterm with the word stress. The early work of Selye focussed on the bodysphysiologicalresponsesbutmorerecentwork,suchasthatofLindemann(1944)and Caplan (1964), Holmes & Raye (1967), and Cohen (1988) (Bjorck 1999citedinBenner&Hill1999:1170)focusesuponthepsychologicalcomponentofstress.

When a person is stressed, the autonomic (involuntary) nervous system isbrought into play. The autonomic nervous systemcontrols involuntarymusclessuchasheart,stomachandskin.Thissystemhastwodivisions.Thesearethesympathetic and parasympathetic systems. It is the sympathetic division thatcomesintoplaywhenstressed.Itisthissystemthatpreparesthebodyforfightor flight.Theheart rateincreases,pupilsbecomedilated,thedigestivesystemstops, respirationincreases,adrenalineispumped into thebodyby theadrenalglandsandperipheralbloodvesselsconstrict(Meier,Minirth,Wichern&Ratcliff,1996:5051). The parasympathetic system works in the opposite way andmaintainsbalance(McEwen,2002:71).

Therealityoflifeformostpeopleisthatalthoughtheymaynotbeabletodefinewhat stress is, they know when they are stressed. The word has become aneveryday part of the vernacular. When we are stressed we feel like life isoverwhelming us and that we are going to lose control. Stress refers to thepressure that life exerts on us and the way this pressure makes us feel(McEwen,2002:3).

STRESSANDANXIETY

Stress and anxiety are closely linked and therefore sometimes confused. Thewordscanbeusedinterchangeablybypeopleattimes.Anxietyhasthreelayerstoit.Theselayerscouldbedescribedasbehavioural,internalandphysiological.Table1describestheseanxietylayers.

Table1.Thelayersofanxiety

BEHAVIOURAL INTERNAL PHYSIOLOGICAL

trembling dread rapidheartbeatshaking feelingtense sweatingpacing senseofunreality butterfliesinstomacheasilystartled (depersonalisation) nauseatwitchingeyelids fearofdyingorlosingit shortnessofbreathavoidance dizziness clammyhandsdifficultysleeping continualworrying drymouthstuttering lumpinthroathandwringing difficultyswallowing

(basedonCiarrocchi1993:4748)

Thesymptomsofanxietyasshowninthetablearethesamekindsofsymptomsthatpeoplemightchoose todescribeasstress. Ineveryday language the twotermsareoftenused interchangeably.Myownwayof thinkingsuggests tomethatanxietyistheinternalfeelingthatisproducedbyaperceptionofthreatanddanger,andstressistheoverallresponsethatIhavetothatfeeling.

STRESSANDBURNOUT

Burnout can perhaps be understood as the end result of prolonged stress.Burnout can occur when the bodies coping mechanism are overtaxed for toolong. Psychologist Arch Hart differentiates between stress and burnout in thefollowingtable.

Table2.Astressandburnoutcomparison.

Stress Burnout

1.Characterisedbyoverengagement Characterisedbydisengagement

2.Emotionsbecomeoverreactive Emotionsbecomeblunted

3.Physicaldamageprimary Emotionaldamageprimary

4.Exhaustionaffectsphysicalenergy Exhaustionaffectsmotivation

anddrive

5.Producesdisintegration Producesdemoralisation

6.Lossoffuelandenergy Lossofidealsandhope

7.Depression:bodysneedto Depression:griefcausedby

Protectitselfandconserveenergy lossofidealsandhope

8.Senseofurgencyhyperactivity Senseofhelplessnessand

hopelessness

9.Producespanic,phobiaandanxiety Producesparanoia,

disorders depersonalisationtype

disordersanddetachment

10.Maykillyouprematurely,youwont Mayneverkillyou,butyourlong

havetimetofinishwhatyoustarted lifemaynotseemworthliving

Source:Pryor(1986:7)

MODELSOFSTRESS

Sutherland andCooper (1990 cited in Irvine,1997:1620) outline threemodelsforunderstandingstress.Thesearedescribedasthestimulusbasedmodel,theresponsebasedmodelandtheinteractivemodel.

Thestimulusbasedmodelseesahumanbeingasanobjectaffectedbyexternalstressors. The person affected in this way has to cope with these stressors.Although such an understanding of stress can assist in identifying externalphenomena that create distress, it ignores the subjective reality that is anessential part of human experience. Diagram 1 outlines the stimulus basedmodel.

The response based model places the emphasis on the response of theindividual to external stimuli. In such amodel of stress, the focus is upon theobservable response of the person under stress. The response based modelassists in understanding the reaction to stress, but the limitation is that thesolutiontostressisviewedaswhollyinternal.

Diagram2outlinestheresponsebasedmodelofstress.

Worldview

Vocational Relationships

Competition

Cultural Expectations

SocioEconomicFactors

Diagram1Stimulusbasedmodel(basedonIrvine,1997:17)

It is generally accepted that an interactive model of stress is needed toincorporatethecomplexityofthehumanstressexperience(Irvine,1997:18).Aninteractivemodel(Diagram3),takesintoaccountexternalstressors,thereactionoftheperson,thetemperamentofthepersonandtheinteractionofthesefactors.SutherlandandCooper(1990:20)state,

withintheinteractivemodelofstress,itisnecessarytoconsiderallthreeconceptualdomainsinthestressprocess:

i) Sourceofstressii) Mediatorsofthestressresponse

iii) Themanifestationofstress.Situationsarenotinherentlystressful,butarepotentiallystressful.

Environment Individual Response

Physical

Psychological

Behaviour

Diagram2Responsebasedmodel(basedonIrvine,1997:18)

The interactive model of stress allows for the place of perception in theexperienceofstress.Perceptionistheendresultofthecentralnervoussystemtranslatingsensoryinputintoanewformofinformation.

Perceptionmeansthattheindividualisnotapassiveobjectuponwhichexternalstimuliact.Astimulibasedmodelofstressmakesnoallowanceforthisaspectofhumanexperience.The responsebasedmodel isalso foundwanting in that itdoesnt allow for external stimuli influencing the way in which a person thinksabouttheworldandtheirplaceinit.Itisinaninteractivemodelthatthereliesthebest chance of an understanding of stress that reflects the reality of humanexperience.

RapidpulseHighAdrenalineSweat

PanicFearEmotion

FightFlightFaint

Environment Individual Response

Adequatecoping

mechanism

Inabilitytocope

PSYCHOLOGICALSTRESS

It has already been mentioned that perception plays a major role in theexperienceofstress.Whatgoesonintheheadisimportant.Thewaywe thinkabout thingsinfluences thedegree towhich thingsaffectus.Thisexplainswhywhatisstressfultoonepersonisnotstressfultoanother.HansSelyeusedthetermsdistressandeustresstodescribetwodifferentkindsofstress.Eustressisa positive stress that energises for life whereas distress is a negative stresswhichsapsenergy.

McEwen (2002:9) places a great deal of emphasis on the place of perceptionwhenhesays,

Diagram3Interactivemodel(basedonIrvine,1997:19)

Physical

Psychological

Behaviour

The humanmind is so powerful, the connections betweenperception and physiological response so strong, that wecan set off the fightorflight response by just imaginingourselvesinathreateningsituation.

Imagineapersonwholovestheirwork.Theyfindthatitintereststhemandthattheybecome totallyabsorbed in it.Theymight invest themselves fully in itandlosetrackoftimeasaresult.Thisisanexampleofeustress.Itisnotunpleasant.Theworkerintheexamplecouldeasilybecomeaworkaholic.Thesubtledangerof eustress is that it doesnt necessarily feel unpleasant but it still taxes thesystem.

ALLOSTASISANDALLOSTATICLOAD

BruceMcEwen (2002), fromRockefellerUniversity inNewYork, has in recenttimes argued for the use of the term allostasis when discussing stress. Hecontendsthatthetermstressshouldonlybeappliedtoexternaleventsandthatthestressresponseshouldbereferredtoasallostasis.Hefurthercontendsthatwhen thestressresponsesystemstarts to falterand turnagainstaperson thetermallostatic loadshouldbeused. InarguinghiscaseMcEwenbeginswithadiscussionofhomeostasis.Homeostasis,atermfirstusedbyClaudeBernardinthemiddle of the 19th century refers to thebalance thatanorganismneeds tomaintain optimum health. It has been described as a physiological regulatorymechanismthatmaintainsaconstantandstableinternalenvironmentrelativetoavariableexternalenvironment(HillcitedinBenner&Hill1999:570).Therearemanyfacetsofhumanfunctioningthatmustremainstableforhealthandsurvival.Examples are body temperature, the bodys acidbase balance, the bodysoxygencontentandtheamountofoxygen that reaches thebrain.These thingsneed to remain at an optimum. There is little room for variation (McEwen,2002:5).Theseareexamplesofthehomeostaticsystemsofthebody.

Incontrasttothebodyshomeostaticsystems,areothersystemsthatallowustocopewith environmental changes.These systemsare able to operatewithin awiderangeofparameters.Examplesofthesesystemsareheartbeat,breathing,theamountofglucoseinbloodandtheamountoffat.McEwenappliesthetermallostasis to these systems. The word is derived from the Greek allo whichmeans variable. McEwen emphasises that it is these allostatic systems thatenablethebodytoremainstableandthat it isinthehumanresponsetostressthatweseethemostmarkedchangesinthesesystems(McEwen,2002:6).

FIGHTORFLIGHTANDTENDANDBEFRIEND

Itisoftenassumedthatthefightorflightstressresponseappliestobothmaleandfemalesbutrecentresearchisbeginningtocastdoubtsonthisassumption.

Up until 1995, research investigating the fight or flight response had beenconducted primarily with males, females only constituting 17 per cent of theparticipants(McCarthy,2005:para.2).

Recent research beginning with the work of Taylor et al. (2000) has raisedquestions about the relevance of applying fight or flight to the female stressresponse. The research indicates that the fight or flight response so longassumedtoapplytomenandwomenispredominantlyamaleresponse.Taylorsresearchteamcoinedanewtermtendandbefriendtodescribethebehaviouralresponse to stress bywomen.They suggest thatwhile itmay be true that thephysiological responsesofbothmenandwomenfit the fightorflightparadigm,thebehaviouralresponseofwomenistendandbefriend.Theresearchsuggeststhatthetendingpartoftheequationfocusesonnurturingactivitiesfocussedonprotectionofselfandoffspring.Befriendingistheestablishmentofanetworkforaidinginthisprocess.

The research mentioned was conducted on rodents but there have also beenhuman studies suggesting similar outcomes (Heinrichs, Baumgartner,KirschbaumandEhlert2003,&Frydenberg&Lewis,2002).

Taylor et.al theorise that whereas testosterone is the key to the fight or flightresponsetostressinmen,thekeytothefemaletendandbefriendresponseisthe neuropeptide oxytocin. It has been shown that oxytocin decreases bloodpressureandreduceslevelsofcortisol,ahormonebelievedtobeindicatedinthefight or flight response. Taylor et al. have hypothesised that females releaseoxytocininresponsetostress.

The hypothesis outlined by Taylor et al. represents a marked shift in thinkingabout stress. It is therefore not surprising that not everyone is convinced.However, it is interesting that it is far easier to establish support groups forwomenthanformen.Womenseemtowant toget togetherandtalkwhen theyare stressed,whereasmen seem to prefer to isolate themselves.Somewouldsaythisisculturalbutresearchisbeginningtosuggestthatmaybethereissomeinherentbiologicalgenderdifferencesatplay.

THEIMPACTOFSTRESS

The stress response (allostasis) is a protective system. It assists us to faceachallenge.Theprotectivestress response isdesigned forshort termactivation.Whenapersonisfacedwithperceiveddanger,thebodypreparesthepersonforthe challenge. Such a response is meant to be infrequent.When that personlivesoutalifestylethatovertaxestheinbuiltcopingmechanismthenhealthcanstart to suffer.When this happens allostasis has given way to allostatic load(McEwen,2002).

Allostatic load affects people in various ways. The cardiovascular system isparticularly sensitive to stress.When stimulated the human body needs extra

reserves of oxygen and glucose. In response to these requirements the heartbeatsfastertodrivemoreoxygenandglucosethroughthebody.Whenrepeatedsurgesinbloodpressureoccurasinthecaseforpeopleunderconstantstress,hypertension can be the result. Hypertension increases the likelihood of heartattack.Aspartoftheprocessforkeepingthebodysuppliedwithfuelwhenunderstress,adrenalineandcortisolwork together tobalance theenergysupply. Ifaperson remains under stress and cortisol levels therefore stay high, energybecomes stored as fat. This fat often accumulates along blood vessel walls,increasingthelikelihoodofatherosclerosis,anotherriskfactorinthelikelihoodofheartattack(McEwen,2002:6869).

Theimmunesystemlikethecardiovascularsystemissensitivetostress.Ifstresscontinues foranextendedperiodof time the immunesystemcanstart to falter(Hempel,2003).Whenstress ispresent theimmunesystemsendswhitebloodcellstowheretheyareneeded.Ifstressisongoingandbecomesallostaticload,the immune system becomes suppressed and the likelihood of infectionincreases(McEwen,2002:91).Insomepeopleongoingstressdoesnotsuppresstheimmunesystem.Inthesepeopletheoppositeoccursandtheimmunesystembecomessosensitiveitstartstoattackthreatsthatdontexist.Thisisthebasisofmanyautoimmunediseases(McEwen,2002:99).

SECTION2MANAGINGSTRESS

McEwen(2002:1516)says

fordecadesscientificresearchhasshownthatwecanguardagainst the ravages of stress by following advice ourgrandmotherscouldhavegivenus:restful,plentifulsleep,agood diet, and regular exercise, as well as the support offamily, friends, religious organisations, and community(isolation is one of the chief contributors to allostatic load),andasenseofcontroloverandcontributiontoonesownlife often noticeably absent in those who suffer from heartattacksordepression.

DIET

There is ample evidence to suggest a link between diet and stress.We haveseen the impact that stress has upon the cardiovascular system. Part of thisimpactisthestoringofexcessfatthatisproducedbythehighenergydemandsofstress.Ifwehaveadietthatishighinfatweaddfurthertotheovertaxingofthe cardiovascular system. Complicating things further is the fact that comforteating is often a way in which people try and deal with the feelings of beingstressed. Comfort eating usually involves food that is easily obtained with aminimumof fuss.Apacketof chips from thecupboardordropping inata fastfood joint after a tough day at the office. A balanced diet is important,particularlyifwearelivingastressfullife.

Thefollowingisabriefbreakdownofwhatishelpfulinregardtodiet(ICBS,Inc.19982006).

Caffeine Found in coffee, tea, chocolate, coke. It causes the release ofadrenalinewhichinturnincreasesthelevelofstress.Inmoderationcaffeinecanbehelpfulinincreasingalertnessbutregularconsumptionoftoomuchcoffeecanhave the same impact as long term stress. Regular drinking of coke is evenworse.

Alcohol In moderation it can be beneficial for the cardiovascular system butoveruseofalcoholisamajorstressor.Inacatch22peopleoftendrinkasawayofcopingwithstress.Suchastrategyactuallyincreasestheeffectofstress.Highlevelsofalcoholcombinedwithstressareadeadlycombination.

Smoking Smoking is attractive for some people because it does work shortterm.Thisistheproblemwithmostdrugs.Smokingisresponsibleforanumberofcancers,hypertension,respiratoryillnessesandheartdisease.

SugarTherearenoessentialnutrientsinsugar.Thequickinputofenergythatsugar produces can exhaust the adrenal glands leading to irritability, poor

concentrationandinsomeinstancesdepression.Highsugarintakealsoincreasethepossibilityofdiabetes.

SaltSaltincreasesbloodpressure,depletesadrenalglands.Avoidjunkfoodsthatarehighinsalt.Theseincludebacon,ham,picklesandsausage.

Fat Fat puts strain on the cardiovascularsystemand creates obesity. It hasalsobeenlinkedtobreast,colonandprostatecancers.

CarbohydratesThesearehelpfulinthattheyreleasetheserotoninwhichhasasoothing effect. Good sources of carbohydrates are rice, pasta, potatoes andbreads.Experts say that a bakedpotato ora cupof rice is able to relieve theanxietyofastressfulday.

Fibre You should have at least 25 grams of fibre a day. Sources are fruits,vegetables and grains. Great for the digestive system which can be effectedsubstantiallybystress.

VegetablesVegetableslikecarbohydratesincreasetheproductionofserotoninthusassistinginmoodstabilising.

EXERCISE

Exercise isan importantpartof reducing theeffectsofstress.Exerciseguardsagainst the build up of fat thus protecting the cardiovascular system. SchiraldiandKerr(2002:143)saythat,

Moderate, regular exercise is remarkably effective forimprovingmentalandphysicalhealth.Itmeasurablyreducesmuscletensionandotherstresssymptomswithout thesideeffectsofmedication.It improvesselfesteem,lowersbloodpressure,slowsrestingbreathingandheartrates,increasesenergy levels and stamina, improves the quality of sleep,promotes weight loss, strengthens the immune system,reduces PMS symptoms, and reduces anxiety anddepression.

IthasbeensuggestedthatahalfhourwalkeachdayisaseffectiveinpreventingrelapseamongstpostdepressivepeopleasisProzac. Inotherwords,exercisehasantidepressanteffects.This isdue to theway inwhichexercisestimulatesthereleaseofendorphinsintothechemistryofthebrain.

PSYCHOLOGY

It hasbeenshown that theexperienceof stress is largelyperceptual.Thewaythat I think about a situation will ultimately determine how stressful I find that

situation tobe.What followsareanumberofways thatwecan fine tuneourthoughtlifetominimisetheexperienceofstress.

Differentiatingbetweengoalsanddesires

Amajorsourceofstressinlifeiscreatedwhenwetryandtakeresponsibilityforthingsthatwehavenocontrolover.Theonlypossibleoutcomeforthisisworry.Theworry that isproduced isa totalwaste of time.Someof thewisestwordsspokenaboutthisproblemarethewordsfoundintheserenityprayer.

GodgrantmetheserenityToacceptthethingsthatIcannotchangeCouragetochangethethingsthatIcanAndwisdomtoknowthedifference.

(ReinholdNiebuhr)

Thewisdom in thesewords isaboutputtingourenergies into those things thatwecaninfluenceratherthanthosethingsthatareoutsideourcontrol.Thismeansseparatingbetween those things thataredesiresand those thingsthataregoals.AdesireissomethingthatIwouldliketohavehappenbutwhichisnotwithinmycontrol.Forexample,ImightliketobelikedbyeveryoneImeet.This isnotwithinmycontrol. If I tryand takeresponsibility for this Iwill justbeworryingallthetimeaboutwhatpeoplearethinkingofme.

Incontrast toadesire,agoal issomething I can take responsibility for. I cantmakeeveryonelikemebutIcantakeresponsibilityforthewaythatIchoosetobehave toward others.This is something I canput energy into rather than justworryabout.Agoodruleofthumbistonevertakeresponsibilityforanythingthatyoudonthaveboththepowerandauthoritytoinfluence.

ChallengingDistortionsofThinkingCognitiverestructuring

Thecorebeliefslinkedtooursenseofidentityandplaceintheworldareabletogeneratedistortionstothewaywethink.Forinstance,ifIhaveacorebeliefthatIam a failure, and amasked to do something, I may immediately think that IllmessitupevenifIamquitecapableofcarryingouttherequiredtask.Thewaythat thisdistortionof thinking(DOT)ariseswillbe in the formofnegative(ve)selftalk,perhapssomethinglikesayno,youllonlymessitupanyway.IfIobeytheveselftalk,thenIwillreinforcethecorebelief.

Psychologist Eugene Sagen (cited in Sorrell, 1995) used the term ThePathologicalCritic to describe the ve self talk that goeson in ourminds.Hesuggestedthatitwaslikeavoicewithinthatisdeterminedtoputusdown.Many

people have a static of ve self talk within their minds. It is important thatinsteadofjustlettingthepathologicalcritichaveitswaywedevelopahealthycoachthatseparatestheliesfromthetruth.

Thefirststepincombatingveselftalkistotuneintoit.Whileeverwelettheselftalkgoonitwilldictatethewaywelive.Throughbecomingawareoftheveselftalkwebecomeabletochallengeit.veselftalkischallengedbyidentifyingtheirrationality and the inappropriateness of it and by then fighting it by activelychoosing to challenge it andnot live according to it.There aremany cognitivetechniquesthatcanbeusedtofightveselftalk.Someofthesetechniquesare:

Reattribution:Placingresponsibilitywhereresponsibilitybelongs

Questioningevidence

Decatastrophising:Alsocalledthewhatiftechnique?

Reframing:Puttingonnewglasses

Thoughtstopping:Pictureastopsign,orabell,orawallwheneverunwantedthoughtsstart

Paradox:Prescribingtheproblem

Normalising:Recognisethenormalityofworryinworrisomecircumstances

Relaxationandbreathingexercises

Supportgroup: Joiningorformingaregular/sharinggroupcanbuildmuchneededbridges,developtrustandrestoreconfidence

Risktakingexercises:Daringtogetoutofonescomfortzonebuildsselfesteem

Fourquestions thatcanbehelpfulwhenquestioning theevidence fordistortedthoughtsare,

1. Whatarethefactsandwhataremysubjectiveperceptions?

2. Whatistheevidenceforandagainstmythinking?

3. WhatdistortionsormistakesamImakinginmythinking?

4. Arethereanyotherwaysofinterpretingthissituation?

Thoughtrecord

Whentryingtofinetunestressproducingpatternsofthinkingitcanbehelpfultousea thought record.A thought record is a diaryof distorted thinkingand thechallengingofthisthinking.(SeeappendixA)

The idea of the thought record is to keep a record of when you recognise adistortedthoughtandthewaythatyouareabletobringitunderyourcontrol.Themorethatthisisdonetheeasieritbecomes.Itbuildsconfidenceandselfesteemaswellascreatingnewwaysofthinking.

Sailingboatsratherthanspeedboats

We live in a Western society that often reduces humans to producers andconsumers.Wearewhatwedoandwedoitsothatwecanconsume.Successbecomes quickly connected tomaterialism and its constant demands on time.Wecanendupbeingdrivenpeople.Gettingoutoftheratracecanreducestressgreatly.Rememberifyoustayintheratraceyoumaywintheracebutyoullstillbearat.

Ahelpfulmetaphoris tothinkof thecontrastbetweenaspeedboatandsailingboat.A speedboat travels in a straight linewithout having toworry aboutwinddirectionoraboutanyotherboatsontheway.Aspeedboat isfasterthanotherboats,morethreateningthanotherboatsandeveryonegetsoutofthewayforit.Speedboatstendtobefocussedonthegoalthattheyareaimingfor.

Incontrastsailingboatsarecontent tohaveageneralsenseofdirection.Theyeventuallyget towhere theywant togetbuttheyrarely travel inastraightline.Theyworkwiththeelements,thewindandthewaves.Thesailingboatismorerelaxedandabletoenjoythejourney.Infactthejourneyisasmuchfunasthearrival at thedestination. Living life as sailing boats isa farmore relaxingandrewardingway to live.Speedboatsoftenrunoutof fuelorhave themotorburnout.

In trying tocombatoursocietys tyrannyof theurgent itcanhelpful to thinkoflifebeingdividedintofourboxes(Rose,2006).Thesefoursquaresareimportantandurgent,importantandnoturgent,notimportantandurgentandnotimportantandnoturgent(seediagram4).Obviouslythoseaspectsoflifethataredeemedbothimportantandurgentneed tobegivensomepriority inlife.Thosepartsoflife that fit into theunimportantandnoturgentquadrantneed tobequestionedandremovedfromlife.Therealtensionisbetweenthequadrantsofurgentandnot important and important and not urgent. One might wonder how anythingunimportantcancreepintolifebutwhenlifeisfastpacedandthereislittletimeforpersonalreflectionitisamazinghowmanyextrathingsjustseemtobecomepart of lifes package. The danger with business is that some really importantpartsoflifethatarenturgentgetpushedtotheperipheries.Thesearethingslike

recreation,familytime,spiritualhealth,sportandleisure.Abusypersonneedstobequiteintentionalinensuringthatthisquadrantoflifedoesntshrink.

Important& Unimportant&

Urgent NotUrgent

Important& Unimportant&

NotUrgent Urgent

DIAGRAM4

SPIRITUALITY

Humanbeingsdobestwhen theybelieve that thereissomehigherpurpose totheirlives.Asenseofmeaningandpurposeinlifereducesstress.Itcanleadtogreater inner peace and selfesteem. Spirituality has traditionally been theprovince of religions. It would be wrong though to suggest that all religioussystemsareequalwhenitcomestominimisingstress.Thereisampleevidenceto suggest that some religious systems increase stress and anxiety (ShreveNeigerandEdelstein2004:15).

There are many religious systems that are basically a system of appeasing ademanding God. Such systems work on the basis of people jumping throughreligioushoops topleaseGod.Suchsystemsareinherentlyanxietyproducing.AsaChristianIwouldwanttosaythatgracecentredChristianity(asopposedtomanydistortionsofthegospel)isthebestsystemforreducingstress.Isaythisbecause itemphasizesGods loveandacceptanceofpeople. It isaspiritualitythataffirmswhowearerather than tellingus thatwehave tobesomeonethatwearentalready.

Part of a helpful spirituality is the ability tomajor on living by confession andforgiveness.Ifwhenwemakeamistakeandhurtothersweconfessandseektomakeamends, thenweremoveunhelpful feelingsofguilt fromour lives.When

westrivetoforgiveothersweremovethepoisonofresentmentfromourlives.Ithasbeensaid that resentment is likedrinkingpoisonandwaiting for theotherpersontodie(MalachyMcCourtcitedinSchiraldi&Kerr,2002:181).

CONCLUSION

Thetopicofstressandhowtomanageitistoobigtodealadequatelywithinthispaperandtheseminarforwhichitwasprepared.Myhopeisthatthispaperhasat least been able to stimulate some reflection on your life and your priorities.Youmightwanttogetholdofsomeoftheresourceslistedinthereferencelist.IhaveasteriskedthoseresourcesthatIthinkareparticularlyhelpful.

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