STRESS AND COMMUNICATION: TAKING BACK CONTROL · New York: Three Rivers Press. ©Bailey Evans,...
Transcript of STRESS AND COMMUNICATION: TAKING BACK CONTROL · New York: Three Rivers Press. ©Bailey Evans,...
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STRESS AND COMMUNICATION: TAKING BACK CONTROL Bailey Evans, M.Ed, LPC
©Bailey Evans, M.Ed, LPC
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WHAT IS STRESS ANYWAY?
• Webster’s Dictionary defines stress as a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances. Stress isn’t necessarily negative. Some stress is necessary to complete tasks and to motivate us. How we perceive stress has a lot to do with our response to the experience.
Maybe we need to rethink it! McGonigal, K., (2013, June). Kelly McGonigal: How to make stress your friend [Video file].
Retrieved from https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend
stress. 2017. In Merriam-Webster.com. Retrieved December 3, 2017, from
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hacker
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POSITIVE STRESS
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Yerkes, R. M. & Dodson, J. D. (1908). The Relation
of Strength of Stimulus to Rapidity of Habit-
Formation. Journal of Comparative Neurology
and Psychology, 18, 459-482.
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WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?
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THE FOUR HORSEMAN OF DESPAIR
•Criticism
•Contempt
•Sarcasm
•Stonewalling
Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work. New York: Three Rivers Press.
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WHAT IMPACT DOES STRESS HAVE ON US?
•Mental
•Physical
•Emotional
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WHAT IMPACT DOES CHRONIC STRESS HAVE ON US?
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WE RESPOND TO USUAL STIMULI IN UNUSUAL WAYS
Stress Miscues Us to Stressors Present
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QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF
• Why am I stressed? What is this bringing up for me? (vulnerability)
• What are the solutions?
• Do I need to be this upset?
• Is this serving me? Is this helpful?
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WHAT CAN WE DO? Thoughts are automatic
Everyone has thought traps
Find which one you fall into most often
IDENTIFY YOUR COGNITIVE DISTORTION Beck, A. T. (1964). Thinking and depression. Archives of General Psychiatry, 10, 561-571. harvard.edu
Burns, D. (1980). Feeling good: the new mood therapy. New York: Morrow
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ALL OR NOTHING
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MENTAL FILTER
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JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS MIND READING
PREDICTING
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EMOTIONAL REASONING
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LABELING
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OVERGENERALIZING
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DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE
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CATASTROPHIZING
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SHOULDS, OUGHTS, AND MUSTS
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PERSONALIZATION (BLAME A WAY TO DISCHARGE
ANGER)
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STEPS TO COMBAT STINKIN’ THINKIN’
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TAKE CONTROL BACK!
• Identify the distortion
• Examine the evidence
• Double standard: best friend experiment
• Cost benefit analysis
• Think in shades of gray
• Survey
• Definitions
• Re-attribution: solutions rather than blame
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GOALS
• S-Specific
• M-Measurable
• A-Attainable
• R-Relevant
• T-Timebound
Performance based not outcome based
Emotional attachment to goals
Start big and work your way back: lifetime back to monthly/weekly/daily
Write them down!
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AWARENESS
©Bailey Evans, M.Ed, LPC
Goals are Important:
Intention and attention
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THE TRAVELERS
©Bailey Evans, M.Ed, LPC
Modified from: http://wiki.c2.com/?ParableOfTheTwoVillages
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TOOLS OF THE MINDFULNESS TRADE
• Hands Feet Back Seat—Breath
• Progressive Muscle Relaxation
• Controlled Deep Breathing
• Meditation
• Body Scan
• Yoga
• Cognitive Strategies Germer, Christopher K. 2005. Mindfulness: What is it? What does it matter? In Mindfulness and psychotherapy. Edited by Christopher K. Germer, Ronald D. Siegel, and Paul R. Fulton, 3–27. New York: Guilford.
Langer, Ellen J. 1989. Minding matters: The consequences of mindlessness-mindfulness. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology 22:137–173.
Thera, Nyanasatta, trans. The foundations of mindfulness: Satipatthana Sutta. Kandy, Sri Lanka: Buddhist Publication Society, 1993.
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Thoughts
• Judgments
• Labels
• Perfecting
• Planning and skipping to the next thing
• Flooding
• Stinkin’ Thinkin’
Feelings
• Disconnected
• Desire to numb the undesirable
• REMEMBER YOU CAN’T SELECTIVELY NUMB!
• Lack of emotional awareness or vocabulary
WHAT GETS IN THE WAY?
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You’re Not Good Enough
Who do you think you are?
GREMLINS
©Bailey Evans, M.Ed, LPC
Brown, B. (2012, March). Brown, Brene: Listening to shame [Video File].
Retrieved from https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame
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INCORPORATE MINDFULNESS IN DAY TO DAY ACTIVITIES
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MINDFULNESS AND CELL PHONES
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PERMISSION FOR MISTAKES: EMBRACING
IMPERFECTION BROWN, B. (2010, JUNE). BROWN, BRENE: THE POWER OF VULNERABILITY [VIDEO FILE]. RETRIEVED FROM HTTPS://WWW.TED.COM/TALKS/BRENE_BROWN_ON_VULNERABILITY
Why relationships matter
Compassion for Self First
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Giving your full attention to the present moment and being fully present.
MINDFULNESS
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INCORPORATE MINDFULNESS IN DAY TO DAY ACTIVITIES
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©Bailey Evans, M.Ed, LPC
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THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF CARE
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LIVE WHOLE HEARTED, BE A WARRIOR, RISE TO THE CHALLENGES AND BE A FORCE FOR GOOD IN THE WORLD
Thank you!
©Bailey Evans, M.Ed, LPC