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THE MUSIC • 23RD OCTOBER 2013 • 33

Dan Aykroyd Words Lachlan Marks. Photos Kane Hibberd.Drink Words Stephanie Liew, Hannah Story, Benny Doyle, Callum Twigger, Sally-Anne Hurley. Photos Holly Engelhardt.

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20 • THE MUSIC • 23RD OCTOBER 2013

Dan Aykroyd used to be on a mission from God. Now he’s on a mission from Globefill Inc to sell as much of his world-famous

Crystal Head Vodka as damn possible. So you gotta start with the vodka questions, otherwise you run the risk of being called a “fucking hosebag”, as was the case when an SBS host refused to let him steer the conversation last week. That said, The Music is all about the booze and blues so we give him a light stir and set him off about his holy grail of alcohols. He means business: the shades are on (and they’re not coming off as our photographer will soon find out), he’s sharply dressed in his official CHV suit and ready to spiel.“Yes, we’re running at battle speed,” he admits. “Anyone selling a book or a DVD or a record or a download would be doing the same thing – it’s just basic Marketing 101. That said I’m so thankful that I’m pushing a product that I can really believe in. You know what? I did sell a few bad movies… selling it on Wednesday and knowing it was gonna be dead by Friday. Having a quadruple award-winning fluid in this beautiful bottle that people are embracing makes my ‘selling’ job really easy and fun.”The design of the product alone, which is based on the same legend of the 13 crystal skulls that George Lucas and Steven Spielberg used to cook up the fourth Indiana Jones film, has proven widely popular, with Crystal Head Vodka bottles now lining the shelves of everyone from your local metalhead to upmarket bars worldwide. Aykroyd acknowledges that its success in Australia mirrors that of his homeland of Canada. “I think it appeals to a rebellious, anarchic streak that we share.” He grins.Popularity does have its drawbacks, however; plenty of liquor stores are forced to keep the prized bottles under lock and key and back in 2011 a group of thieves in Los Angeles made off with a whopping 21,000 skulls that were then sold on the black market.“We had a tractor trailer in one of our distribution point warehouses and a team got in, they got into the tractor, which was still attached to the trailer, and they drove straight through the fence and got away with it! I didn’t reveal it publicly. I waited till we needed it. We had a launch coming up and the LAPD had been so ineffective in finding out who it was, and the insurance guys couldn’t work it out either, so we gave them three to four months so as not to interfere with the investigation then I revealed it. It was half-a-million dollars’ worth of the vodka. My quote at the time was, ‘I don’t condone crime, but I’m really happy that people can consume my vodka at a discounted price!’” As you can tell, Aykroyd is a businessman and he knows a good publicity op when he sees one. When The Rolling Stones 50th Anniversary Tour came into view, he and his counterparts put into action a proposal to see his company enter a partnership with the ageing rock titans, the result of which is his most prized accolade: becoming the official vodka of the tour. At first it seems

like a tasty cash grab for the Xmas dollars you’re gonna spend on dad (and it is), but Aykroyd explains his friendship with the band is longstanding and includes him inviting Keith, Ronnie and Daryl for an extended stay on his farm only a few years ago. Before he’s even finished his sentence we’ve blurted out a question almost as a reflex -– “holy shit, did you guys jam?”“Absolutely. Every night around the campfire they pulled out the guitars and harp and we sang old blues songs. My uncle is right into George Formby and he plays the banjo. Of course Keith knew exactly who Formby was so we had a wonderful time eating and drinking and staying up till four or five in the morning playing those songs. Keith would rise at three the next day of course… that said, I did most of my real partying with those guys a long time ago.”There are plenty of people that would say Aykroyd indeed partied too hard back then, given his very public discussion of a deep belief in ghosts and extra-terrestrials. Ghostbusters may have been a straight-up comedy, but its roots are within Aykroyd’s own passion for the supernatural, growing up in a household that celebrated what lies beyond our own known dimensions.“Look if you wanna talk survival of the consciousness after death, residual spirit phantom energy, mediumship, trans-mediumship, channelling spirits from the beyond – well that’s a multi-generational thing in my family starting with my great, great grandfather Sam, an Edwardian spiritualist. In the ‘30s and ‘40s we had our own trans-medium, his name was Walter Ashhurst… one day in

a trance he knelt over the back of a chair and drew a diagram. It turns out later that he was channelling [Charles Proteus] Steinmetz, the

physicist. My grandfather, a Bell Telephone engineer,

took it to the engineers

HIGH SOCIETYdrink

“EVERY NIGHT AROUND THE CAMPFIRE THEY PULLED OUT THE GUITARS AND HARP AND WE SANG OLD BLUES SONGS.”


AYKROYD ON THE ORIGINS OF ECTOPLASM:“Charles Richet coined the word ectoplasm. He saw an ectoplasmic hand come out of a medium’s stomach. He said, ‘I hate this. I’m a medical researcher and this defies everything I believe in but now I know I have to believe in it’. Is that DNA from the medium or from the entity they are channelling? That is a great scientific quest. Eusapia Palladino, who my dad writes about in his book A History Of Ghosts, was a young woman who could transchannel and she would open her mouth really wide and ectoplasmic forms would come out. I would love to get some of that and test it. I wish that some serious scientist would link arms with me to go forward on this but they don’t. They’re not interested in this.”

at Bell Telephone who explained it was a diagram for a very high-oscillating crystal radio, which my grandfather then concluded was probably designed to communicate with the beyond.”Despite his unnerving and wide-eyed enthusiasm for the paranormal it does seem like the lights have dimmed on the prospect of a third Ghostbusters film, with Bill Murray now famously playing the elusive Roadrunner to

Dan Aykroyd’s Crystal Head Vodka campaign blitzes through Aus as he announces the spirit is the official vodka for The Rolling Stones 50th Anniversary Tour. Lachlan Marks learns the OG Blues Brother also has his own Ghostbusters hotline these days, advising on mediums that might help in “getting people to cross over successfully”.

his Wyle E Coyote. When future projects are raised he says he treasures a solid 30-year run in the business and harbours no bitterness if his marketability as a leading man may have “dropped off over the years”. So rather than titillate fans with minor trivia about a film we kinda know isn’t getting made anytime soon (like everybody else will be doing), we’ll leave you with the one and only Dr Raymond Stantz directing us to the real Ghostbusters that he believes deserve the attention nowadays.“Oh I’ve advised people on who to call... in terms of mediums that might help them with getting people to cross over successfully. All the time. People come to me with ghost stories everyday,” he says earnestly. “The parallel world is right beside us. Every single state in the USA has a serious paranormal investigation team, if not every county. Everywhere I go people ask me to come and see their great team work and they go about it in a very, very professional way.”

CELEBRITY-ENDORSED BEVERAGESCIROCP Diddy endorses the suave grape vodka Ciroc, promoting an elite lifestyle accompanied by friends and glamour. Features flavours such as Coconut. Diddy also refers to himself as “Ciroc Obama” on ocassion.CRUNK!!!If your libido is a little lacklustre, Lil Jon created an energy drink infused with horny goat weed and other energy-promoting extracts to get the cogs of your rusty sex machine moving.ABSOLUT VODKAZach Galifianakis, and Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim of Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!, promote Absolut by creating a Golden Girls-style skit featuring beehive wigs and dramatised shaken martinis. MMMHOPSIf you’re still harbouring some nostalgia for ‘90s pop music, and you wish you could almost taste it, well, we’d like to introduce you to Mmmhops pale ale beer. (MMM)Bop to MMMBop while drinking Hanson’s own Mmmhops. Mmm. AVION TEQUILAThis real brand of tequila was given free publicity in the TV show Entourage when one of its characters, Turtle, promoted it. The endorsement came about because the tequila’s creator, Marquis Jet tycoon Kenny Dichter, grew up with the show’s creator and director Doug Ellin.

“OH I’VE ADVISED PEOPLE ON WHO TO CALL...”


INCIDER INFOWith more kinds and flavours of cider than ever before, Sally-Anne Hurley explains why the apple-based brew ain’t just for ‘weak-stomached girls’ and ‘hated-on hipsters’.

Like 40 is supposedly the new 30, or orange the new black, cider could very well be the new beer. Now hold on a minute, I’m not

bagging out the goodness of the latter nor assuming anything could ever really replace it as our nation’s favourite type of alcohol. I mean, I love a cold, frothy schooner or a Corona with lime on a hot afternoon as much as the next person. But our love affair with cider is growing by the minute and it’s staking a big claim as the new, trendy drink ‘round town. Cider has long been a popular choice of beverage in Europe, particularly the UK. Maybe our close connection to our brothers and sisters from the motherland is a contributing factor to our newfound love of cider and the rise of our consumption of the beverage over the past few years. According to a recent report released by market research company Roy Morgan Research, since 2011, consumption of cider by men between the ages of 18-24 alone has increased 50%, with the number of women drinking cider in the same age bracket rising by a staggering 132%. These statistics represent a number of things to different people. Someone like myself, a cider lover, would look at that and say, “Wow, that’s a whole lot of Aussie cider drinkers and woohoo, I am one of those awesome (and young) people.” Others interpret this as cider being a drink for the “hipsters” or for girls

who can’t handle “real grog” – I have in fact been told both these on several occasions. So what is it about this drop that has young Aussies frothing at the mouth and how can we, the weak-stomached girls or the hated-on hipsters, possibly convince the non-believers why cider is just so gosh darn good? Let’s break it down, shall we? First of all, there’s a bit of history behind the drink. I don’t know about you, but I personally love stories about the good ol’ days and the way things used to be. Everyone and everything has a backstory and when people are a part of something with tradition, they generally feel like they are a part of something special (whether it is or not is another thing, but who gives a toss what others think, right?). People have been crushing and chopping up apples to make cider for centuries – even in the BC era. So that means there is a huge chance even Jesus had a drink of apple cider at some point. I

mean, he liked wine, so clearly the man had good taste. You don’t see people sitting around a table late Saturday night discussing the history of Bacardi Breezers now, is my point. There isn’t a deep and meaningful story behind it that adds a timeless quality or links generations together. Secondly, humans need and want variety. Cider has come a long way from its traditional apple days. Nowadays, you can get all kinds of different flavours and tastes in both dry and sweet ciders. Wild berry, strawberry and lime, mango and raspberry, blackcurrant, winter cider (still not

“IT’S NOT JUST FOR THE GIRLS WHO ALLEGEDLY CAN’T HANDLE THEIR GROG.”

fully sure what that consists of, but it tastes good) and more. Not to mention, all the different brands of cider that you can get now – Bulmers, Rekorderlig, Pipsqueak, Castaway and Magners are just some that spring to mind. Generally, Gen Y doesn’t like to stand still, so to speak, and stay in their comfort zones. Perhaps the spike in cider love over the last couple of years is a reflection of young Aussies wanting to continue to try new things and think (or drink) outside the norm. Finally, in the interest of breaking down barriers, cider doesn’t discriminate. It really does appeal to almost anyone. I mean, put the two points I’ve been banging on about previously together and you can see that the appeal of cider is almost endless. It’s not just for the girls who allegedly can’t handle their grog, or for the hipsters, or even the old European chaps who used to crush the apples themselves, or – God willing (excuse the pun) – Jesus. I like to think of it as the Switzerland of alcohol: a neutral domain that can bring people from all walks of life together – obviously not in a war safehaven kind of sense, but to bring on good times, happy taste buds and thoroughly quenched thirsts. Embrace it, alcohol lovers, cause something tells me the ol’ cider isn’t going anywhere.

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DRINKING GAMESWe know you’re not meant to play drinking games after the age of 16, but hey, sometimes nostalgia gets the best of you, and no one has any drugs, and there’s no gigs on, and you’ve just got to gather around the kitchen table with more alcohol than you could probably get through in a year. Make some sangria, call some friends, eat an entire loaf of bread and get prepared: Hannah Story talks you through it.

KING CUPKing Cup is your standard drinking game. Everyone has played it, everyone has a horror story, everyone wishes they hadn’t hurled in the sink afterwards. It’s just the way it goes. It’s disputable what the real rules are (everyone has their own variations), but it goes like this: lay out your cards in a circle face-down. Take turns picking a card. You do the action that corresponds to the card: usually, drinking. When you get a king you put booze into the vessel and make a rule. It continues until the final king is picked up, and someone has to drink the King Cup. One time the vessel was a dog’s bowl. One time the lethal mixture was two parts bourbon, one part Cruiser. We all thanked God we didn’t get that one.

NEVER EVER HAVE I EVERUsually a number in King Cup leads to a quick game of Never Ever Have I Ever. But we figured it deserves its own spot in the Drinking Game Hall of Fame because of its capacity to humiliate and bring people together, all at the same time. One person will make a statement about something they’ve never done. Everyone who has done the thing drinks. And so it continues. It usually reveals something horrible you never knew, and is a perfect way to break the ice with a new group of friends. What better way to bond than by admitting that you have both watched Paris Hilton’s porno? It’s a relationship killer though, so don’t play with your significant other.

GOON OF FORTUNE Goon of Fortune is a decidedly ‘rural’ drinking game, apparently. It seems to generally involve the great outdoors, which is just not something city-dwellers are good at. You tie a goon sack (cask wine, whatever) to a clothesline and then spin it around. Whoever it lands on drinks the goon. Because of the position (hanging) it goes straight down your throat/all over your face. If you don’t own a clothesline, try a ceiling fan, but in that case maybe go with white wine? It wont stain your carpet so bad. Note: you will vomit, even if it’s just because you’ve been watching the clothesline spin for two hours.

MAOBecause every time we play Mao, we have already been drinking, we can’t be sure if Mao has no rules, or if it has lots of rules. It’s a standard card game: you get seven cards from the deck, you take turns putting a card down. There seem to be four or five set rules that one player knows, and then penalises the others – with a shot and a card. You’re supposed to be able to discern what the rules are by watching other people fuck it up. If you win the round (call Mao at one card left, when you have none you win), you make up a rule, and penalise the others. It goes on until everyone either passes out or leaves the authoritarian state. We can’t tell you what the rules are though, that’ll spoil it.

RIDE THE BUSRide the Bus is exhausting to explain. When we first played I had no idea what was happening, and then everyone somehow managed to gang up on one person who ended up having a pretty bad night. Set out ten cards in the shape of a triangle. Everyone playing gets four cards. A card from the wide end of the triangle is turned over. If you have a card with the same face value, you put your card down, and the set is discarded. Then you nominate someone to drink. Keep turning over cards along the row, and then on the other rows. In the other rows of the triangle, you can up the amount of drinks allocated. It’s over once the bus is gone, and whoever has the most cards left is the loser.

WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN YOU’RE DRUNKCALL YOUR EXOr text them. Same goes for your mum. And also your friends’ mums. Just put down the phone. FACEBOOK OR TWEETYour insightful stream-of-consciousness observations and witty quips are actually hideously misspelled nonsensical ramblings. PLAY SPORT Even if you’re actually co-ordinated, balls, bats and booze don’t mix. Also, it is not the appropriate time to show off your handstand skills lest you land on your neck.VISIT THE ATMYou WILL walk away leaving your card or cash or both behind.BIKE RIDEDon’t drink and drive; don’t drink and ride. GO TO THE MOVIES/THEATREYou don’t wanna be the guy reeking of booze and laughing constantly at things that aren’t even funny. People hate that guy. GROOM YOURSELFThe inebriated should not attempt to shave or remove body hair using other methods (particularly around the genital area), cut or colour their hair or paint their nails. COOK AN ELABORATE MEALNo one wants to see you stumbling around half-naked preparing a roast and trimmings while muttering “I’m Nigella, mmm, scrumptious!” and narrowly avoiding burning yourself.

“MAKE SOME SANGRIA, CALL SOME FRIENDS AND GET PREPARED.”

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GardensGrab a six pack and head to the Edinburgh Gardens, North Fitzroy* to soak up the sun and good vibes this summer. Think carnies in the park, music in the rotunda, picnics, ice cream, dogs and getting daytime drunk. (*or Royal Botanic Gardens, South Yarra/Carlton Gardens/Queen Victoria Gardens etc.)Playgrounds/ParksProbably wait until all the kids are gone for this one. But once the families have left, bust out the bevvies and reclaim your kingdom of swings and slides. Hey, you’re an adult, and you’re allowed to do what you want, right? Just make sure that you dispose of bottles and cans appropriately for obvious reasons. Have some respect for your youngers. BeachesSun, sea, tiny grains of sand making their way into all your orifices, all while you suck or sip on your sauce of choice. It’s a summer standard, and even those who are wary of the water can’t deny that there’s something relaxing about getting tipsy with the sun on your back, waves lapping the shore .

Siglo, CBDThis is the cocktail bar to go to if you’re looking for something a little bit fancy, or if you’ve got a special occasion or some spare cash that’s burning to be spent on good quality booze. Nestled in the CBD above The Melbourne Supper Club, Siglo’s open-air rooftop terrace overlooks Collins Street and Parliament House. Wesley Anne, Northcote When the sun goes down the most romantic beer garden in town can be found at The Wesley Anne in Northcote. Think open fires, candles and trees adorned in fairy lights. Caters to all, whether you’re after a place that’s family-friendly, has share plates for groups, or is suitable for some casual wooing. The Espy, St KildaAfter a hard day’s work wading in the water, tanning on the beach or strolling along the pier, walk up St Kilda’s Esplanade and order a round at iconic establishment The Espy. Sit outside and watch the sun go down over the sea.Corner Hotel, Richmond It’s a sunny Saturday and you’ve got nothing planned. After a late brunch, amble over to live music staple the Corner Hotel in Richmond and gather

BackyardsOld faithful and the obvious choice for those paranoid about being fined for drinking in public. You get to choose your own tunes, fire up the barbie or stock up on chips and dips, and choose whether you want peace and quiet, a few good mates, or your whole crew (backyard size permitting). And then when you’ve had a few too many, the couch or the bed are mere steps away. Outdoor CinemasIMAX screens and surround sound systems are one thing, but there’s just something extra special about sitting on rugs and blow-up chairs in the park (Moonlight Cinemas, Royal Botanic Gardens, South Yarra) or bean bags or chairs on a rooftop (Rooftop Cinemas, Rooftop Bar and Ben & Jerry’s Openair Cinemas, St Kilda), snacking and drinking while you wait for the sun to go down and the movie to start.

a gang of mates ‘round a wooden table on the rooftop. Polish off some jugs and hang around until the bands start playing. Saturday sorted. The Standard Hotel, Fitzroy Sometimes you just really want a pub parma, burger, enchiladas or fish and chips; whichever pub meal’s got you salivating, the Standard’s sure to make it. A Fitzroy favourite, the Standard Hotel features plenty of live music, an outdoor garden and a leafy canopy under which you can enjoy a cold one or five. Tyranny Of Distance, WindsorHidden down an alleyway off the Windsor end of Chapel Street, Tyranny Of Distance has got breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks and desserts on the menu (that paella is killer) as well as an extensive beer, wine and cocktails list. Plus, there’s free wi-fi. Howler, BrunswickThe hip, new kid on the block, Howler in Brunswick is a converted warehouse space. With live music up and running, plans to incorporate an art gallery and theatre performance space, and an Asian-style hawker food menu, it’s also got an impressive outdoor space: log seating, eye-catching lights, steel sculptures, plenty of greenery and a killer bike rack.

AN ALTERNATE GUIDE TO OUTDOOR DRINKING

OUR TOP OUTDOOR DRINKING VENUES

DAN AYKROYD’S COCKTAILSCRYSTAL HEAD COCKTAIL PARTY“It has no sugar. It has no glycerine. It has no citrus oil. It’s the virgin canvas for bartenders.”

DAN AYKROYD’S PUNCH IN THE HEAD“It’s 2 ounces of Crystal Head, pineapple juice, lychee, liqueur from Pernod Ricard and a little soda water.

PORTLAND SWEET ‘LIL PIGGY“In Portland, Oregon I saw a guy do this: a maple sugar cube, wrapped in bacon with bitters, blueberry syrup, hibiscus syrup and the Vodka.”

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Answered by: Jack Trist Briefly describe the design/atmosphere of the bar. Chuckle Park is an oasis of fun. Refreshment and sustenance to the soul and body in the form of great tunes, tasty morsels and cool cocktails. What is your signature drink? Chuckle’s Passion Punch.Briefly describe the crowd that frequents your bar. Everyone is welcome at Chuckle Park. Sightseers and shoppers wanting a pit stop to refuel; office workers wanting a quick escape before heading home; regulars who just love to hang out in the space and have called it their own.

Answered by: Serge Carnovale Briefly describe the design/atmosphere of the bar. 1930s French post-war bee-bop era. It’s lush, dimly lit and laid-back. Between Little Bourke and Lonsdale Streets and parallel to Hardware Lane is a short alley called Goldie Place. What is your signature drink? Our martini is popular!Briefly describe the crowd that frequents your bar. The club has a strong live jazz music following and attracts all age groups. Musicians, tourists, music lovers of all ages frequent the club.Who’s pouring and what makes them special? Ash pours

Who’s pouring and what makes them special? Rose is the newest addition to the Chuckle Park team. She has a way of making all who frequent Chuckle Park feel special. Makes a killer coffee. Super friendly with a splash of sass. Does the bar have a music component? Chuckle Park has a DJ playing every Saturday night, playing eclectic electronic remixes of everyone’s favorites to the more obscure.What is the best drink to f inish off the night? Over winter, a hot mug of Chuckle Berry Finn goes down a treat. Like drinking an alcoholic black forest cake.What’s your advice for tackling a hangover? Our Bloody Caesars are the best in Melbourne – coupled with a meatball wrap, you’ll be right as rain.If your bartender was stuck on an island and could only save one bottle from the bar of the sinking ship what would it be? THE BIGGEST BOTTLE ON THE SHIP!!!

a cool martini and is very passionate about his music.Does the bar have a music component? We have live jazz four nights a week and sometime feature up to six shows in that time.What is the best drink to f inish off the night? My favourite is Frangelico and fresh lime on crushed ice.What’s your advice for tackling a hangover? A Berocca, some eye patches and a Miles Davis CD.If your bartender was stuck on an island and could only save one bottle from the bar of the sinking ship what would it be? A bottle of Crystal Head.

Answered by: Sam Lyddy Briefly describe the design/atmosphere of the bar. A chill atmosphere in a lofty/attic-style space of beautiful timber, views and relaxed lighting. Atmosphere can range from being chilled to a party vibe on weekends.What is your signature drink? The Ferdydurke. Briefly describe the crowd that frequents your bar. They usually are a chilled out yet fun crowd that love good drinks and quality music.Who’s pouring and what makes them special? Yui, fiery exciting girl with a big and kind personality; Adam, chilled and attentive; and Akane, a good, gentle soul that gives a shit.

Answered by: Russell Tarbett Briefly describe the design/atmosphere of the bar. Affectionately known as Hells, this intimate laneway bar overlooking Centre Place delivers food, drinks and ever-changing tunes from noon till late every day. What is your signature drink? Whiskey Sour.Briefly describe the crowd that frequents your bar. Hells has been a staple watering hole for the local arts scene, but its warm and welcoming atmosphere is enjoyed by all who climb the stairs.Who’s pouring and what makes them special? No matter who you find behind the bar at Hells,

Does the bar have a music component? Jazz, left field and instrumental hip hop, house, disco, disco house, experimental, electronic, Latin, funk, Afro.What is the best drink to f inish off the night? A single malt. What’s your advice for tackling a hangover? Classic Bloody Mary: a bit spicy, and a few hotdogs. Bread and sausage with condiments and other toppings... mmmmm.If your bartender was stuck on an island and could only save one bottle from the bar of the sinking ship what would it be? A decent smooth rum. Goes great with coconuts and I can share it over a banter with my mate Wilson.

you know that you are going to get quality drinks and food without the bullshit attitude.Does the bar have a music component? Usually there’s a DJ at the bar with crate of records. What is the best drink to f inish off the night? Try something from our short but solid list of scotches.What’s your advice for tackling a hangover? Have a crack at the Hells Bloody Mary made with our house-infused chili vodka.If your bartender was stuck on an island and could only save one bottle from the bar of the sinking ship what would it be? If the barman was Timmy Stratton, hands down Fernet Branca.

FERDYDURKE

HELL’S KITCHEN

CHUCKLE PARK

PARIS CAT JAZZ CLUB

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322 LITTLE COLLINS ST. CBDCHUCKLEPARK.COM.AU

20 CENTRE PL. CBD 6 GOLDIE PL. CBDPARISCAT.COM.AU

31 TATTERSALLS LN. CBDFERDYDURKE.COM.AU


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Answered by: Martin Pirc Briefly describe the design/atmosphere of the bar. A well worn-in Melbourne haunt that is just touching its second decade. Hints of European overtones, icon red leather chairs sat on by The Beatles during their 1963 Australian tour, wine swept walls and old world charm. What is your signature drink? By the glass wall of wine. Briefly describe the crowd that frequents your bar. Customers in search of a watering hole that is about quality wine, beer and spirits. Our crowd knows a good thing, keep

Answered by: Joel Heffernan Briefly describe the design/atmosphere of the bar. The 1940s-influenced Waiting Room is the perfect hideaway for an intimate evening or just to relax. What is your signature drink? Queens Park Swizzle. Briefly describe the crowd that frequents your bar. Frequented by stars and general public alike, the clientele can be quite mixed. Whether it is for a quiet coffee and snack during the day or shared plates and cocktails at night, all are welcome. Who’s pouring and what makes them special? Some of Melbourne’s best bartenders

coming back and have helped us stand the test of time. What’s pouring and what makes it special? Domaine Pegau’s Vin de France called Plan Pegau. Domaine Pegau commands serious prices for their Chateauneuf du Pape wines and this is a great little juicy complex wine. Does the bar have a music component? We’ve embraced modern technology through Sonos which give us access to millions of tracks at the touch of a button. What is the best drink to f inish off the night? Grand or Rare classified Muscat from Rutherglen. Liquid dessert that puts a smile on everyone’s face. What’s your advice for tackling a hangover? Good wine doesn’t hit as hard as cheap and cheerful. If all else fails, a Bloody Mary.If your bartender was stuck on an island and could only save one bottle from the bar of the sinking ship what would it be? Bottle of rum to go with the many coconuts I will have to eat to stay alive!

make up the team at The Waiting Room – national cocktail competition finalists, fine spirit aficionados, someliers and even a Guinness World Record holder to name a few. Does the bar have a music component? Acoustic piano with some of Melbourne’s best contemporary and jazz musicians. At night, eclectic sounds of progressive house and nu-jazz. What is the best drink to f inish off the night? A simple Rutherglen Tokay or a perfectly balanced Old Fashioned is the best way to sip the night away. What’s your advice for tackling a hangover? The staff favourite for tackling the toughest of hangovers would be a Red Snapper – basically a London Dry Gin-based variation of a Bloody Mary. If your bartender was stuck on an island and could only save one bottle from the bar of the sinking ship what would it be? The Crozet Cuvee Leonie 1858. It boasts the Guinness World Record for the most expensive bottle sold at auction.

Answered by: Shane Breen Briefly describe the design/atmosphere of the bar? Little Collins Street, adjacent to Southern Cross Station, Saint & Rogue Public House and Kitchen: a place that gets back to the roots of a quality pub. It combines a mix of the old pub feel with modern elements to create a relaxed space to meet, eat and drink.What is your signature drink? Erdinger.Briefly describe the crowd that frequents your bar? During the week we see long lunches and after work drinkers catching up for a pint. Many choose

Answered by: Hamish Goonetilleke Briefly describe the design/atmosphere of the bar. Distressed timber and a nautical theme. Warm, cosy and inviting. It’s a bar you get stuck in because you’re having so much fun and the vibe is electric! What is your signature drink? Dark’n’stormy and Pina Colada. Briefly describe the crowd that frequents your bar. Easygoing, fun crowd. Generally 25-39 and love their rum and old school tunes. Who’s pouring and what makes them special? The staff are varied but all love their cocktails, fun and rum! Josh Crawford, Andy

to stay on a little longer and head upstairs for dinner. Friday nights we have an outstanding mix of professional men and women winding down from the working week.Who’s pouring and what makes them special? Our bartender Harry is pretty special. He’s learning to be a surgeon but he’s a great bartender! Does the bar have a music component? We always play some background beats.What is the best drink to f inish of the night? Sullivan’s Cove Double Barrel Whisky.What’s your advice for tackling a hangover? Jameson and soda with a bacon and egg sandwich.If your bartender was stuck on an island and could only save one bottle from the bar of the sinking ship what would it be? Johnny Walker Black Label.

Strachan, Nick Dennis, Tash Sorensen and Eric Jong. Does the bar have a music component? Old school ‘60s and ‘70s, new dub, acoustic Thursdays, DJs late on Fridays and Saturdays.What is the best drink to f inish off the night? Zombie!What’s your advice for tackling a hangover? Hainan chicken and a shot of rum. If your bartender was stuck on an island and could only save one bottle from the bar of the sinking ship what would it be? Banks Of Endeavour: blend of five 1996 vintage rums presented in an engraved decanter. 35th in Top 120 Spirits!

SAINT & ROGUE

THE RUM DIARY BAR

PUNCH LANE

THE WAITING ROOM

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8 WHITEMAN ST. CBDCROWNMELBOURNE.COM.AU/THE-

WAITING-ROOM-BAR334 BRUNSWICK ST. FITZROY

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582 LITTLE COLLINS ST. CBDSAINTANDROGUE.COM.AU


Answered by: Deven Marriner Briefly describe the design/atmosphere of the bar. Built in the late 19th century, Von Haus is rustic, cosy and just a little bit like a well-stocked lounge room. We are all about enjoying good food and wine in a relaxed and unpretentious space.What is your signature drink? Wine. Wine. Wine!Briefly describe the crowd that frequents your bar. We have a diverse yet discerning crowd – people who like good food, good wine and good music.Melbourne is a creative melting pot and we get them all.

Who’s pouring and what makes them special? The staff at Von Haus are just as unique as our customers. They all have a great interest in food and wine, which enables them to find the perfect drop for the right person.Does the bar have a music component? We don’t have live music. We sponsor Blue Juice on PBS. Blues, soul and roots being the tunes we love.What is the best drink to f inish off the night? For the last drink of the night nothing beats Laphroaig Quarter Cask Single Malt Whisky.What’s your advice for tackling a hangover? HAIR OF THE DOG! Beer always makes everything better. We rotate a number of craft beers, and found that Sample Pale Ale does the trick every time.If your bartender was stuck on an island and could only save one bottle from the bar of the sinking ship what would it be? Leroy Bourgogne Rouge 1999. Amazing!

Answered by: Simon McCulloch Briefly describe the design/atmosphere of the bar. Hidden deep in the woods is a secret lodge where you can hide from the world, or sit in the trees and plan your conquest of it. Whilst there, enjoy a selection of fine beers, wines and unusual spirits mixed to perfection.What is your signature drink? Skirtlifter. Briefly describe the crowd that frequents your bar. From 18 to 80, everyone is welcome. We do attract a lot of Melbourne Uni students and lecturers. What’s pouring and what makes it special? Butch Morgan Shiraz from Barossa – a huge red, with

tonnes of fruit. Lucky Duck Cider – a local brewed that’s fun in the sun. Blue Sun Pinot Gris from Canterbury – great wine, let’s help after the earthquake! Does the bar have a music component? Delightful selection elevator music on repeat. What is the best drink to f inish off the night? 1942 All Saints Liquor Muscat. What’s your advice for tackling a hangover? $20 hand shandy and two Panadine Forte.If your bartender was stuck on an island and could only save one bottle from the bar of the sinking ship what would it be? Nebuchadnezzar of a Jimmy Watson Trophy Winner.

WOLF’S LAIR

CLUB 23

VON HAUS drink

Answered by: Adam Verratti Briefly describe the design/atmosphere of the bar? A luxurious destination club for those in the know. With lavish custom-designed environments and an elaborate balcony, and home to a unique perspective of the Melbourne vista.What is your signature drink? The Peppercorn’s Blush.Briefly describe the crowd that frequents your bar? International faces and Melbourne’s people in the know. Trend-savvy clientele who have a taste for the best are what help to create the atmosphere that is renowned as the hottest space in town.

Who’s pouring and what makes them special? A team of industry proportions, we have gathered people who have worked all over and on all levels of the industry, creating a bubble of perspective and know-how that delivers time and time again. Does the bar have a music component? Thursday from 6pm: Carmen Hendricks & The Soul Remedy Band. World class DJs spinning all weekend long. What is the best drink to f inish of the night? Macallan 30-year-old in a crystal-cut rocks glass with one cube of ice. What’s your advice for tackling a hangover? Pick yourself up, have a cup of Assam English breakfast tea with some kind of electrolyte sports drink and then get awesome again and repeat the night over.If your bartender was stuck on an island and could only save one bottle from the bar of the sinking ship what would it be? Remy Martin Louis XIII Rare Cask 42.6, a rare edition of the Louis XIII incased in a black crystal decanter.

1A CROSSLEY ST. CBDVONHAUS.COM.AU

LVL 3, CROWN TOWERS. SOUTHBANKVONHAUS.COM.AU

OFF JIMMY WATSON LN. CARLTONWOLFSLAIR.COM.AU

drink it up with

www.themusic.com.au your drinking companion

t h e m u s i c | t h e l i f e s t y l e | t h e f a s h i o n | t h e a r t | t h e c u l t u r e | y o u

#07 • 2 5 . 0 9 . 1 3 • P E RTH • F R E E • I N C ORP ORAT I N G

FOOTY POWER AND THE PASSION

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OWER ANNNNNNDoral history

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SMALL SMALL BARBAR

SCENESCENE

HOW THE SMALL BAR SCENE GOT BIGWords Daniel Cribb. Photos Toffa Hendriks (cover and bar images).

culture

A change in legislation in 2007 has caused a seismic shift in local bar culture. Excatly how did we get from beer barns to boutique drinking stops?

It’s almost common practice if you work in Perth’s CBD or Northbridge to venture out and grab a drink or two when you knock off; it’s usually a

beer that bridges the gap between work and home life, but there’s a new breed of licensed venue coming out of the woodworks, attempting to challenge the norm and offer a new experience and range of drinks.Working day and night as a lawyer specialising in liquor licensing at Lavan Legal in the redeveloped Brookfield Place precinct, Jessica Patterson has had ample time to sample what’s around. But for Patterson, an after-work drink isn’t always a chance to take her mind of things, rather appreciate them. With 20 years experience at Lavan Legal and 15 years working with liquor licensing laws, as well as being the treasurer of the Small Bar Association of WA, she’s usually the go to when someone owning a small space is looking at applying for a liquor license, and as of late she’s been quite busy.“Small bars are really about trying to provide something different; something unique and something that is

was far easier. The reason it took so long for small bars to start popping up after that was the financial constraints involved and the time the process takes.Patterson worked closely with Choo Choo’s, which is also in the Brookfield Place precinct, for about a year, helping them until they opened their doors at the end of July, and it’s clear there’s a strong scene of community between the hardworking and dedicated individuals behind the scenes.Wanting to open a bar since he poured his first pint at Hudson Gallery on Kings Street 12 years ago, de Vos spends most of his days off driving around town running

aspect of the bar works. It was travelling the world and seeing a different side of hospitality that led de Vos to realise there was something from missing from Perth.“At the moment, [bigger bars] are a copy of a copy and pushing towards that upper echelon market where they’ve got a lot of money to throw around, whereas, we’re not like that at all – we try to be more relaxed and want everyone to come in,” he says.Also located on Brookefield Place is Bar Lafayette, who worked closely with Patterson to get their doors open – it’s a wonder she has the discipline to get any work done. A traditional cocktail bar, owner Stephen Vetten says they set up on “international standards rather than that of the local hospitality climate.” “The ‘rabbit warren’ like layout is the first thing you will notice. Five different rooms inside, plus a lovely large alfresco area; the venue is deceptively large. Each area has its own unique feel with antique furniture adding to this. The style of the venue is old world and classic. We wanted to create a venue that stood the test of time and wouldn’t become suddenly out of fashion,” Vetten tells.For him, it was the supportive community and help from Patterson that ultimately made his dream a reality. “We got lots of help and advice when we were first starting from our fellow owners and managers.

much more than the alcohol itself. Whereas, once upon a time, decades ago, pubs and clubs traditionally had very similar drink ranges between them. Small bars are about the experience; they’re about the culture, they’re about trying something different, they’re really about choice, diversity and change,” Patterson tells.“They seem to be owner operated, so they have a personal touch and feel about them, and my experience has been that the atmosphere amongst those owners is really quite exciting; they tend to be passionate about their business, and they tend to be passionate about contributing to the emerging bar scene and socialising scene around the city.”Patterson often find the unique menus of small bars appealing, and after completing a job for Laneway Lounge on Murray Street, she made sure to sample a cocktail they created that contains Earl Grey tea. “I will generally try something different every time I do go to a new bar. Choo Choo’s bar has got some really unique beers in can and certainly not your traditional canned beers.”The catalyst that led to an explosion of small bars was the introduction of the small bar class license. That was 2007, but it’s only been the past few years that the scene has really started to flourish. For Choo Choo’s owner Mike de Vos, and other small bar owners, the introduction of a new class meant the application process

errands for the bar. “You come to a point when you’ve been working in the industry for a while and you just want to push you own philosophy on hospitality, which is what Choo Choo’s is all about,” de Vos begins. “What I like about [Choo Choo’s] is that it’s taking out all the wank factor that’s happening in Perth and it just takes it back to a human level. There seems to be a little bit of pretention, you know, you need to be of a certain cliental or certain demographic to go into bigger bars and fit in.”It’s the first thing you’ll notice when you enter a small bar; they seem more inviting, and that’s because the owners usually spend a great deal of time making sure every

People embracing the small bar concept is fantastic and a welcome relief from the beer barns of past,” he explains. “Being smaller helps us to have more one on one contact with the customer and we can generate a good rapport and understanding of what they would like, in turn enhancing their experience at the bar.”Bar Lafayette embraces acoustic acts on Thursdays and weekends, but not all venues operating under a small bar licence are lucky enough to get live music approval on their application. “That’s one of the negatives of liquor licensing at the moment; unless it’s specifically asked for, it’s very hard to get it on your license,” de Vos says, with Choo Choo’s currently trying to get approval to host live music. “It’s probably to do with the perception that live music creates an environment in which people binge drink, and I think that’s only a perception that can only be challenged by more people going for it, and we’re probably going to push for it later so we can have live music here.”Patterson points out the authorities are more likely to approval a liquor license if it’s a venue that won’t cause any trouble. “The idea is that a small bar should be more favourable and looked at in a more positive light by the authorities because it’s likely to have less of an impact.”On the other side of the equation, small bar PICA Bar has seen a surge of gigs. Local promoter Stefan Caramia (Teledex) works at the bar and books gigs their almost

“SMALL BARS ARE ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE; THEY’RE ABOUT THE CULTURE, THEY’RE ABOUT TRYING SOMETHING DIFFERENT.”

18 • THE MUSIC • 25TH SEPTEMBER 2013

every weekend. “When there’s more places to play, there’s way more bands out there gigging, growing their fan base, getting tighter and more experienced. More venues can only be a good thing for live music and small bars,” he explains.“I think that to say that allowing live music in a venue promotes unsafe drinking and assumedly, alcohol-fuelled violence is frankly ridiculous. If anything, it should be easier to get a license for a venue if it has live music. I’ve never seen people banding together and/or being helped up from the floor faster than in a crowd for a gig. And that’s at the heavier end of the spectrum. I mean, people aren’t going to start fisticuffs at a Timothy Nelson gig. I really think that we need to start placing more importance on dealing with the people that do break the rules and hurt people, not the culture itself.”With the liquor licensing legislation up for review this year, there’s a good chance the small bar capacity will be raised from its 120 capacity in order to make the venture more economically viable for owners, and they may also lower the costs of applying for a license, so there’s no doubt the scene will keep on a steady incline. Patterson’s workload is promise of that: “From what I observe and the enquiries I receive, there seems to be plenty of scope for a lot more bars. I’m currently working on several small bar applications at the moment and I don’t see an end of slow down in the future, which is exciting for Perth.”

THE RUM REBELLION


Street artist R.J Williams was commissioned to paint a mural for Sailor Jerry’s pop-up Sydney bar, modifying a classic Hawaiian design by Norman Collins. To make the culture clash complete, Williams got it tattooed on himself. Pics by Cole Bennetts

art

THE MUSIC • 18TH SEPTEMBER 2013 • 29

17.

The Germans had a similar thought two centuries ago and decided that the appropriate course of action would be to

organise beer-soaked festivities that ran for 16 days. Oktoberfest – or “die Wies’n” to the locals – first took place in 1810, and in the years since, many a beer drinker has made the pub pilgrimage to Munich to take part in the festival, which runs through September and early Octo ber.Some six years earlier in a colony still overrun by convicts, a whippersnapper named James Squire was the first to cultivate hops in Australia and a burgeoning beer culture began. Given the late start, it’s perhaps understandable that when much of the world think Australian beer, they think Foster’s. But this all too watery anti-icon isn’t all that’s being brewed down under, and the Germans aren’t the only ones with a festival dedicated to showing off their beers any longer.An endless slew of VB ads have given beer in Australia a glorified image as a grubby drink, but in the same way there’s a cheeseburger from McDonald’s and then there’s a cheeseburger from Rockpool, a growing craft beer culture has resulted in some mind-blowing brews being made down under. This is your chance to explore what lies beyond the daft drafts, with more than 60 events across eight days and the entire city. Assembled below are some top picks from the week.FREE (THE ENTRY, NOT THE BEER)…Launch Party: Vic On The Park changed pub beer gardens forever when they put a basketball hoop in theirs and started keeping balls behind the bar. It’ll be out of action on Saturday night, but with good reason: 15 stalls representing some of Australia’s finest craft brewers pouring rare and unique beers.

The Growler: Kick off the week in slightly more athletic style with one of the shining stars of this city’s craft beer crew, Young Henry’s. They’ve teamed up local lycra-clads The Spokes People for a bar crawl/cycle and treasure hunt through Newtown that culminates in an exclusive ‘After Claw Party’. Bring your growler and your bike (and a helmet!) and get to Victoria Park at 5pm.IT’LL COST YOU A SLAB…Homebrew Master Class and Beer Tasting: Why limit your craft beer consumption to just one week? Sure, you could track down most of these beers on any other day, but why would you when the brewers behind them will show you how to make them at home? On 20 Oct from 1pm at the Toxteth Hotel you can learn about the brewing process from craft beer professionals and how to replicate at home. You can also wash down this knowledge with the included comprehensive beer tasting session and gourmet BBQ.

drink

THE MUSIC • 16TH OCTOBER 2013 • 73

WHAT: Sydney Craft Beer WeekWHERE & WHEN: Sydney-wide (see sydneycraftbeerweek.com for full venue map), Saturday 19 to Saturday 26 Oct

Craft Beer Fight Club All In Brawl: Surry Hills’ Dove & Olive plays host to five breweries doing battle with beers. They’re fixing up a boxing ring out of kegs and beer lines on 23 Oct for the battle to end all battles. $35 gets you a schooner of each beer and a say in who’s crowned the winner.IT’LL COST YOU A REALLY SPIFFY CARTON OF BANANA BEER HAND-BREWED BY CHASTE MONKS…Beer & Brewer Awards Presentation Dinner: What do the Emmys, Pulitzer and Brownlow have in common? That’s right, they’re awards ceremonies. And if we know one thing about awards ceremonies it’s that people get boozed there in either celebration or commiseration. Problem is they’re giving out awards that have nothing to do with beer. At the Sebel Hotel on 24 Oct the awards are going to the people who are making the drink you’ll be consuming (assuming you’ve got decent taste). A two-course meal, unlimited beverages, a very limited bottle of Saint Birbeck Belgian Spiced IPA and the Beer Buyers Guide are all included in the $99 price.4 Pines Brewery Tour & Lunch – Ultimate Beer Experience: You cannot beat 4 Pines’ bang for buck. The Manly-based brewery is offering a guided tour, a lap of the taps, lunch and a six-pack to take home for $65. I recommend the stout – Irish-style and black as night, it’s also pegged to be the first beer in space. Seriously. It happens this Saturday, from 12.30pm.

The year is winding down, the weather heating up, and you find yourself

thinking, ‘If only there were some kind of event that brought together the best

of October and beer’. There is, and Dave Drayton guides you through it.

The year is winding down the weatherThe year is winding down, the weather y g ,heating up and you find yourselfheating up and you find yourself

SYDNEY CRAFT BEER WEEK

Drinking beer may be considered a national sport but there’s a big difference between picking up a couple of slabs at the local bottlo to chug at

a mate’s barbie and the very thoughtful and considered consumption of the latest craft beers that have come out of some of the smaller breweries dotted across the land.Craft beer opens up a world of possibilities for the average beer lover; the flavours and variations seem endless and a real connection can build between drinkers and their favourite brewer.Sydney Craft Beer Week gives beer drinkers at all levels a chance to get to know their beer and brewers at a range of events in some of Sydney’s dedicated craft beer pubs. And don’t worry if you don’t know your Thunderbolt Strong Ale from your Moo Brew Hefeweizen. There’s plenty of events for the novice craft beer drinker as well as the aficionado. Not sure how to plan your Sydney Craft Beer Week? Maybe we can help.Meet The BrewerRegardless of your level of expertise about craft beer, Meet The Brewer gives you a chance to quiz the makers themselves about what makes their beer stand out from the crowd. There’ll be 19 brewers from all over the country in attendance – each bringing one of their brewery’s latest supply – including Tassie’s Moo Brew, Victoria’s Two Birds and Byron Bay’s Stone and Wood. Held at Hart’s Pub in the Rocks on 25 Oct, there’ll also be pizza and the evening will set you back $90, but don’t forget there are 19 beers to taste.Women Of BeerWhile much of the advertising and conversation around beer in this country is directed at the blokes, there’s plenty of women who also enjoy a glass or two. Craft beer has also given women a chance to get involved in the brewing process. Several prominent craft beer labels have women at the helm. At Flat Rock Brew Cafe on 21 Oct Danielle Allen (Two Birds, Vic), Karen Golding (Red Hill, Vic) and Beth Williams (Hargreaves Hill,

SO GOOD YOU COULD BOTTLE IT

Vic) will discuss their way into the industry, while each will match two of their brews with tasty treats. And you don’t even have to be a woman to attend.Feral Game Of Thrones LunchIf the intrigue on your average episode of Wonderland isn’t quite up to the conniving of Cersei Lannister, or you’re waiting for dragons to fly over the Beauty And The Geek set, this lunch may just get you through until the new season of Game Of Thrones starts. Drink and eat like a Lannister about to go into battle. Two WA breweries, Feral Brewing Company and Nail Brewing are supplying the beer that will accompany this medieval banquet at the Royal Albert Hotel on 22 Oct. Over the course of the week there’s plenty of food matching events so you should be able to find one to suit your taste buds.The Brewers Bowl OffPolish the shoes and gel the quiff. Manhattan Super Bowl in Mascot is hosting a bowling tournament with a difference on 24 Oct. First you’ll get the chance to knock over some pins, then the brewers themselves will challenge each other for the Brewers Bowl Off Trophy. You’ll also get the chance to enjoy some quiet brews in the lanes and after the bowling everyone will be heading to the Newmarket Hotel next door. If bowling seems a little too athletic, there’s also A Viking & An Elf… bingo at the Welcome Hotel featuring beer from The Little Brewing Co (NSW) and Ekim Brewing Co (NSW) or Stone & Wood’s Beer Trivia (NSW) at the Union.Beer Mimics FoodOne of the joys of craft beer is the sheer variety of flavours that brewers come up with. This event teams brewers up with foodies such as Ben O’Donoghue and Poh Ling Yeow to produce beers that tastes like some of your favourite dishes. The Welcome Hotel is even building a beer laboratory and producing speciality snacks for the occasion. Beer Mimics Food takes place on 20 Oct.

BEER IN POP CULTURE

FILMThe IMDB synopsis for 2006 American comedy Beerfest reads: “Two brothers travel to Germany for Oktoberfest, only to stumble upon secret, centuries-old competition described as a “Fight Club” with beer games.” Rated 6 on IMDB and 41% on Rotten Tomatoes.

TV“Duff beer for me/Duff beer for you/I’ll have a Duff/You have one too.” So the Duff beer jingle goes on The Simpsons. Homer’s favourite beverage is not just fiction though, with real Duff beer available in selected stores in selected countries (without consent or permission from Matt Groening).

ARTGoogle “beer art” and you’ll find pics a plenty of impressive sculptures made entirely of beer cans. One example is New York-based Greek artist Nikos Floros’ piece for an exhibition in Athens – opera costumes made from aluminium strips using 20,000 beer and soft drink cans.

FASHIONWell... there’s a Pinterest: pinterest.com/vermontbrewers/beer-fashion-who-knew. And as well as beer goggles, you can actually buy cartoony beer-shaped novelty spectacles. Let’s just leave it at that.

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72 • THE MUSIC • 16TH OCTOBER 2013

Whether you’re a craft beer expert, novice, or even new to beer in general, Sydney Craft Beer Week has something for everyone (above the age of 18). Danielle O’Donohue walks us through some options.

Remember that time you got fucked up on tequila and then... Ok, maybe you don’t remember it, but we do. Don’t deny it. You were messy

as fuck. It doesn’t have to be like that now, though. Tequila’s changed... Wait, wait, wait, no it hasn’t. But you have. Haven’t you? You messy little monkey.There’s been a bit of an influx of proper Mexican style food and beverage getting itself all up in the cities of late. A whole brood of trippers have been buzzing around the bottom end of North America in search of the real enchilada, and they’ve brought a bit of that hot sauce back to the glass frontages of Australian towns to try and turn a quid or two. Don’t get me wrong, this can only be a good thing. It wasn’t so long ago that the only ‘Mexican’ you could find in Australia spoke in a borderline racist faux-Mexican accent on the TV and came in a yellow box at the supermarket. We’re now coming around to the idea that tacos don’t come with a crunchy shell and that nachos are pretty much a Frankensteinian Texasisation that don’t really exist south of the border. And beneath this awareness lurks another embarrassing truth: that nasty tequila that left you in the gutter outside that 21st in Mandurah isn’t really the stuff the Mexicans drink.Australian tequila maker/importer Nick Reid knows what the Mexicans drink. Studying in Mexico a while back he was introduced to the drop and fell in love (he also met his future wife over there, but that’s another story). He and a couple of mates are now producing their own brand, Tequila Tromba, and schooling Australians on their beloved tipple.He dispels a couple of myths about the drink. “There will never be a worm in a bottle of tequila,” he says – apparently it only exists in tequila’s cousin mescal, and the practice is some hangover from the US prohibition years. Unfortunately, you can’t trip out from tequila, so it’s no excuse for that time you got busted smashing letterboxes in Wodonga: “[It’s] the only spirit which

Apparently the whole ‘salt-shot-lime’ way of downing tequila is all wrong. Samson McDougall gives us a lesson on the authentic stuff.

is a stimulant and not a depressant; it may be along the lines of that. Maybe if you drank a couple of bottles of it, you’d feel pretty ordinary the next day.”Much like champagne, the name ‘tequila’ is bound by geographical region, or appellation of origin, in Mexico. This area is limited to five states, and means that Reid and his buddies are bound to these regions for the production of their brew. Much to their good fortune, they got a couple master tequila makers on board to get the recipe sorted.A few years down the track and the influx of decent Mexican restaurants is making it easier for Reid and his cohorts to educate a largely non-straight spirit drinking Australian public about sipping the good stuff. “When you’ve got a 100% agave tequila, you don’t need the whole shotting thing,” says Reid. “When you lick the salt, sip on the tequila and suck on a lime, basically you’re just hiding or killing off the flavour of something nasty you’ve just drunk. Whereas with a good quality tequila you’re just trying to savour it, much like you would a good Scotch or cognac.”There are plenty of 100% agave tequilas available in Australia. Reid reckons a good place to start with the sipping is chasing each mouthful with a mix of tomato and citrus until you get used to the flavour. Or check out a paloma: tequila, grapefruit, soda, lime and salt. “People’s perception of tequila is starting to change,” he says.“Everyone had that night out where they had five shots at the end of the evening then spewed and fell down the stairs and woke up and said they’re never gonna drink tequila ever again. That type of tequila’s called mixtos or 51% agave tequila. When they make the tequila they use half the sugars from the agave plant and then they mix it with 49% of maybe cane sugar or corn syrup... The plant takes about seven or twelve years to mature, so there’s a lot of love that goes into growing the agave plant. When you drink it you wanna drink just the sugars from the agave plant, not from the cane fields.”

SONGS THAT

MENTION TEQUILA

Pee Wee Herman’s Tequila Dance (Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, 1985)

Tequila Sunrise by Cypress Hill feat. Barron Rick (1998)

Tequila by YoungBloodZ (2006)

How Much Tequila (Did I Drink Last Night) by Steve Goodman (1979)

Mexican Moonshine by Roger Clyne & The Peacemakers (2004)**not just a song also a line of Tequila by Rodger Clyne.

drink


Apparently the whole ‘salt-shot-Apparently the whole salt-shot-pp ylime’ way of downing tequila is all

DISTILLATION EDUCATION

No longer is whisky solely the domain of a gloriously cold and windy country called Scotland. The secret is out; the rest of the world has found

the recipe and some of the world’s best ‘Scotch’ whiskies are now coming from Japan, Sweden, India, Taiwan (whose Kavalan distillery is one of the most exciting in the world right now) and – bloody oath – Australia.In the past ten years distilleries have been popping up all over the country, fuelled by back-shed – and probably not entirely legal – home distillers. Now Aussie malts are being sent all across the world, garnering influential admirers and recognised awards. A visit to the small Scottish island (and whisky Mecca) Islay has locals and travellers hounding you for information on what the hell is going on down under?Victoria has the sweet notes of Bakery Hill, the ever young Starward and steam train-inspired Timboon Railway Shed Distillery, and Western Australia has Limeburners, where diesel fuel notes are the answer to Scotland’s seaweed and peat, but it’s the cluster of Tasmanian distilleries that is really exciting everyone.Malts from Lark, Sullivan’s Cove, Overeem and Nant are world class. The Australian climate speeds up the rate in which the newly made spirit extracts flavour from the wood and expressions such as Sullivan’s Cove French Oak and Overeem’s Cask Strength Port are absolutely gorgeous. The mind-blowing flavours are sometimes even too much flavour for the old whisky guard. Bill Lark – the Godfather of whisky in Australia – is experimenting with things like apple brandy casks, just because he can. All the while Heartwood’s independent bottlings (hand-picked casks bottled in one-off runs) are having a lot of fun kicking everyone’s arse at over 70 per cent alcohol.It’s not only the malts that are superb – the utterly picturesque scenery of Tasmania seems to rub off on these whisky trailblazers and they’re some of the nicest, easy-going people you’ll ever meet. Move over dickhead bartenders and wanker cocktail ‘experts’, there are no boundaries to Australian whisky and it’s opening the

Scott Fitzsimons used to drink a lot of whisky from Scotland and Japan. Then he ran into the Australians…Pics by Holly Engelhardt.

Scott FitzsimonsScott Fitzsimons used to drink a lotused to drink a lot of whisky from Scotland and Japanof whisky from Scotland and Japan. y J pThen he ran into the AustraliansThen he ran into the Australians…Pics byPics by Holly EngelhardtHolly Engelhardt.

I LOVE A SUNBURNT WHISKY

doors to whole new communities. Lark, who supplies spirit to many of the Tasmanian labels and who advises on pretty much everything from still shape to marketing, even looks like an Australian Santa Claus. If Lark is the Godfather, then Dan Woolley is the punk. Having run backstage bars at festivals like Big Day Out, he’s recently assembled one of the country’s best whisky selections at his Byron Bay Roadhouse restaurant (including a bottle of Dalmore made specifically for him).“It’s a global thing,” Woolley says of the whisky market resurgence, which famously moves in soaring peaks and crushing distillery-closing lows. “In fact, we’re way behind the rest of the world with this. Most of the quality distillers throughout Scotland, the USA and Japan sell out of everything they make so it was just a matter of time before we got the call. Global trends have local impacts.“There is no more ‘norm’ demographic for the whisky consumer. All ages from 18 to 80, male and female. They might not make it to the events and shows but in all the bars and all the homes around Australia you’d be very surprised who’s taking drams.”There’s a lot of marketing that goes into whisky – it’s big business trying to sell a premium spirit that looks like urine – and so there are a lot of stories to be told. Each dram has a tale, each distillery has a history. The Australian industry is 20-years-young and at the very start of its story, right now is probably the most exciting time to discover whisky – it’s like drinking liquid history.“So you’ve tried the Ardbeg Lord Of The Isles?” Bill ‘The Godfather’ Lark asked me once at a whisky function, referencing a 25-year-old, $1,700 bottle from the famous Scottish distillery. “I’ve got a bottle back home that needs opening, remind me when you come down.”“You’re kidding, right?”“No, hold me to it. Whisky’s meant to be enjoyed and shared. I want to drink it with someone who’s going to enjoy it.”

WHISKY BARS

Above: Bill Lark

1. The Baxter Inn Sydney – Huge

selection. Always packed, but worth it for a Port Ellen.

2. Eau de Vie

Darlinghurst – Ask for the

Glenfiddich Snow Phoenix. When it’s

gone, it’s gone.

3. Gnome Surry

Hills – Do they still do the Ardbeg

and oysters?

4. Wild Rover

Surry Hills – Irish ‘whiskey’ is not a dirty word.

5. Bulletin Place

Sydney – Owner’s personal collection.

TOP 5drink


Streetpress Australia Drinks Issue

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