Story timehe128
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Transcript of Story timehe128
A monthly magazine for improving your English. Real English in genuine contexts. Slang. British English. Practical language. US English. Fun and easy-to-read. Helpful glossaries. Useful expressions. Readers from 16 to 105 years old. From pre-intermediate to advanced (CEF levels A2-C1). Ready-to-use lessons. Fantastic 60-minute audio CD. Teacher’s Notes. Linked to the Skills Booklets and part of the Hot English Method. Great website with free material: www.hotenglishmagazine.com. All the English you’ll ever need!
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issn 1577-7898 depósito legal M.14277.2001 November 2012
Published by Hot English Publishing, S.L. C/Paseo del Rey, 22 - 1ª planta, oficina 1, Madrid 28008 Phone: (00 34) 91 549 8523 Fax: (00 34) 672 317 912
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Finance
TrACk 24: ENGLISHMAN & US WOMAN
STOrY TiMEJokes, anecdotes and stories as told by native English speakers.
GLOSSArY
A: I say, I say, I say, what happened when the lion ate the comedian?
B: I don’t know, what did happen when the lion ate the comedian?
A: He felt funny!
A woman is walking down the street when she notices a funeral procession. There’s a gigantic bear on a lead walking behind a hearse. And behind the bear, there’s the widow and a long line of mourners. “What happened?” the woman asks the widow. “The bear bit my husband and he died of fright,” the widow explains. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” the woman says. “Oh, it’s all right. There was a clause in my husband’s life insurance policy that gave me an extra £100,000 because he was killed by a wild animal.” “Oh, right, erm, could I borrow the bear?” the woman asks, thinking quickly.And the widow points behind her and says, “You’ll have to join the queue!”
A very posh man is walking around an art gallery when he stops by an exhibit.“I suppose this picture of a hideous monster is what you call modern art,” he says very pompously to a museum employee. “No, sir,” replies the employee, “That’s what’s commonly known as a mirror.”
The comedian
The bear
The art gallery
next Month
in
Facebook, Mark zuckerberg, watch-and-learn videos,
how to pass exams, protest songs, smartphone apps,
ridiculous lawsuits… and lots, lots
more.
to feel funny exp to feel a bit ill. also, if something is “funny”, it makes you laugh a funeral n a church service for someone who has died a procession n a group of people who are walking in a line as part of an eventa hearse n a large car that carries the coffin (the box with the dead body in it) at a funerala widow n a woman whose husband has died a mourner n a person who attends a funeral, especially as a relative or friend of the dead personto die of fright exp if someone “dies of fright”, they die after experiencing something very frightening / scary posh adj someone who is “posh” speaks or acts as if they were from the upper classan exhibit n a painting, sculpture, etc. in a museum or art galleryhideous adj very ugly; horrible pompously adj if someone speaks “pompously”, they speak as if they were very important or superior
I HOPE HE ISN’T HUNGRy!
