Nis-Momme Stockmann„The Man Who Ate The World“

English translation by

David Tushingham

© schaefersphilippen™ Theater und Medien GbR 2010

This manuscript is not for sale. All rights in this text including excerpts are

reserved, particularly professional and amateur performance, public reading,

book publication and translation and broadcast, filming or recording through

radio, television or other audiovisual media.

Copying, writing down parts and passing the manuscript on to third parties are all

forbidden. If the play is not to be produced, this manuscript should be returned to

the agency, if it was provided in printed form.

Notes:

The son’s name: The son’s name is not known. In the text it has been replaced by (xxxx)

and when it is used in the production, the name should be replaced by a censored noise (as

used on tv to block out unwanted expressions).

[-]: indicates overlapping speech.

Scene 1 – Flu

Characters: A father, around 65 years old. His son, around 35. Lisa, the son’s ex-wife.

Phillip, his younger brother.

Locations: The son’s expensively renovated kitchen/living-room. His ex-wife’s chaotic

living room. A fairground with beer tent, where the younger brother is getting drunk.

Time: Early evening.

The phone rings. The son answers.

Son: Hello.

The father coughs.

Son: Hello, is anyone there?

The father coughs.

Son: Hello.

The father coughs.

Son: God’s sake. Hello?

The father coughs.

Sohn (annoyed): Are you ill?

Father (sighs): Oh …

Son: What’s the matter with you then?

Father: Flu.

Son: Have you been to the doctor’s?

Father: I’m calling because ... A strange thing’s happened.

Son: Don’t change the subject. Have you been to the doctor?

Father: I’ve had a terrible week. You can’t imagine.

Son: This is not normal, the number of colds you’ve had, you need to go to the doctor. Have

you been to work?

Father: I’m taking tiger balm ... And I did go to the doctor ...

Son: Why are you doing this? You’re lying. So what did he prescribe then?

Father: A strange thing’s happened.

Son: Stop changing the subject. Why won’t you go to the doctor?

The father coughs.

Father: I… ’ve bitten off a piece of my tongue.

Son: WHAT?

Father: Only a little one.

4

Son: WHAT?

Father: Yes, the last time I left Phillip. The day after.

Son: You’ve bitten off a piece of your tongue?

Father: Yes. I didn’t notice at first. It happened during the night. I only woke up

afterwards... because of the pain.

Son: I just don’t believe this. How could that happen?

Father: It bled like anything. A tiny piece, of my tongue.

Son: WHAT?

Father (cheered up): Well, it’s not that bad. So, how are you?

Son: That is not normal. How could that happen?

Father: Yes, it’s weird ... I didn’t notice at first. I only woke up afterwards – because it bled

like anything.

Son: WHAT? How could that happen?

Father: Look, it’s no big thing. But tell me. How are you?

Son: You’ve got to go to the doctor’s with that. Did you go to the doctor’s?

Father (laughs): It’s been a terrible week.

Pause.

The car failed its MOT.

Son: You need to see a doctor about that urgently.

Father: D’you know what it’s going to cost?

Son (angry): For God’s sake Dad! It doesn’t cost anything. You’ve got health insurance.

Father: Yes. But for practically everything nowadays you’ve got to... They won’t take a

look at you for nothing any more. If I go to get my teeth...

Son: Look … Stop changing the subject. We’re talking about your tongue now.

Pause.

… Though you really ought to go and have your teeth done too.

Father: Yes, and do you know what that will cost?

Son: I can give you money ...

Father (decisive): No!

The father coughs.

Son (angry and frustrated): I don’t understand any of this. You’ve got to go. Promise me

you’ll go on Monday.

Father: I’ve got to look and see what work I’ve got on Monday.

Son: It doesn’t matter. When you’re ill you need to go to the doctor.

5

Father: Yeah yeah.

Son: Promise now.

Father: I’m not going to promise.

Son (sighs): … You can’t be serious.

Father: Dr. Raben – ’s not there any more. He had a heart attack. He’s stopped practicing.

Son: There are enough doctors in the area.

Father: Yeah yeah.

Pause.

Don’t go getting yourself worried ...

Son (interrupting): I’m not getting worried. I’m just getting really angry. What are you

trying to prove? That every disease of the modern world can be cured with Tiger Balm?

Why do you insist on having flu for a week and a half when you could have got over it after 4

days?

Father: I burnt myself too.

Pause.

On the palm of my hand.

Pause.

On the hotplate.

Pause.

It was really stupid. I wanted to see if it was on. So I thought ...

Pause.

Couldn’t see anything yesterday. I put ice on it immediately. But it’s all blistered today.

Son: … I don’t know what to say.

Father: Well …

Pause.

Father: So how are you?

Son (sighs): Yeah, yeah, ok.

Father: Work alright?

Son: … Yeah that too.

Father: Good.

Pause.

And the children? Are they there? I can’t hear them.

Son: They’re at Lisa’s, you know that.

Father: Why, I thought at the weekend they’d be with you?

6

Son: Yes, but only every other weekend. You know that.

Father: Oh yes.

Son: Right.

Father: Yes.

Son: Look … I’ve got something on the stove.

Father: Well.

Pause.

Father: Is there any other news?

Son: No!

Father: No? Fine!

Son: Alright then. Bye.

Father: Yeah …

Pause.

I wasn’t ringing about the flu. I didn’t want to tell you that. You always get cross...

Son: For God’s sake! Stop going on about the fucking flu!

Hangs up.

Oh fuck.

The son thinks, walks up and down, chews his fingernails, picks up the phone and dials a

number.

Phillip: Ye-es?

Son: Yeah, hello Phillip, it’s me.

Phillip (cheery): Hey. How’s it going?

Son: Yeah ok.

Phillip: And how’s work?

Son: It’s good.

Phillip: Great.

Son: I’m calling because ...

Phillip: Hang on.

Murmurs, music, scratching.

Shit.

Son: Hello?

Phillip: Yeah, hang on.

Son: Look ... I’m calling about Dad.

7

Phillip: Shi..

Scratching.

Son: What are you doing there, where are you?

Phillip: I’ll call you later. I just dropped my phone. I think it’s fucked.

Hangs up.

The son puts his phone on the table. He thinks. He puckers his eyebrows. He waits for a

while. He picks up the phone and dials a number.

Lisa: Lisa Pleil.

Son: Yeah, hello – it’s me.

Lisa (cautious): Oh, hello. Hang on, I’ll just call the kids.

Son: No wait. I wanted to talk to you.

Lisa: Oh yeah?

Son: Yes. It’s about my father.

Lisa: Ah?

Son: Er – maybe it’s got nothing to do with you …

Lisa: Well, if it’s none of my business.

Sohn: No - wait. I just mean, maybe you don’t want to have to listen to this.

Lisa (cross): I don’t know, do I?

Pause.

Son: … Ok …

Hangs up.

The phone rings.

Son: Hello?

Phillip: Hello, it’s me.

Son: Hey.

Phillip: What’s up?

Son: Well ... It’s so loud, can’t you go somewhere else.

Phillip: I did go somewhere else.

Son: Look, he’s bitten off a piece of his tongue.

Phillip: What? Who?

Son: Yeah. Dad.

Phillip: What?

8

Son: Yeah, only a little bit.

Phillip: Uh.

Son: And all the time I was thinking why’s he talking so funny?

Phillip: I talked to him on the phone yesterday.

Son: Did you not notice the way he was lisping?

Phillip: No.

Sohn: Didn’t he tell you anything?

Phillip: No.

Sohn: That’s ...

Phillip: … Look it’s going mental here.

Son: He can’t keep this up for long. He’s falling apart. You’ve got to talk to him. He won’t

take me seriously any more. How can you bite off a bit of your own tongue? Is that ...

epilepsy, or what? You’ve got to call him.

Phillip (into the music): Yeah sure, I’ll call you first thing tomorrow.

The son sighs and puts the phone away. He goes to the fridge and takes out a beer. The

phone rings. He looks at the display and answers.

Son: Hello?

Lisa: Yeah, hello, it’s Lisa again.

Son: Yeah?

Lisa: So what is it about your father?

Son: Er …

Lisa: Because he just called here.

Son: Oh.

Lisa: And wanted to talk to the kids.

Son: Oh ... so?

Lisa: Yeah – I put him on loudspeaker.

Son: What? He’d notice!

Lisa: No, he didn’t notice. He’s got a fever.

Son: He’d notice. He always used to put people on loudspeaker before. And then you could

talk to him and my mother at the same time.

Lisa (laughs): Oh yes – that’s right.

Son: Yeah. God, that was terrible.

Short pause.

9

Lisa: But rather sweet somehow.

Short pause.

But he didn’t notice. ..

Pause.

Son: Ah …

Lisa: … He’s not in a good way without your mother. (…) He told the kids about his tongue.

And his blisters.

Son: WHAT?

Lisa: He’s not well.

Son (sighs): Yes, He’s got a cold.

Lisa: I think ... Gradually you ought to be thinking about ... I think he needs somebody.

Son: Rubbbish. It’s not that bad.

Lisa: He’s getting old. And his mind’s mixed up. He can’t cope with everything on his own

any more.

Son: He’s just got a bit of flu.

Lisa: And biting his tongue off? When his teeth are in such a bad state.

Son: Oh, he probably had a bad dream or something.

Lisa: You wake up if you bite a piece off your tongue...

Short pause.

Lisa: I think it’s an increased combat reflex.

Very short pause.

Lisa: Epilepsy.

Pause.

Lisa: He needs care.

Son: He’s only 64.

Lisa: 67.

Son: He’s still working!

Lisa: Exactly. If he makes a mistake there... He’s got no insurance or anything.

Son (furious): What do you know about it?

He can’t afford any it. Care... Who’s supposed to care for him then?

Lisa: … You are.

Sohn: Me? How is that meant to work – with my job? ...

Hello, are you still there?

Lisa: I … talked to Ulf.

10

Long pause.

Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you call?

Son (tired): What’s it got to do with you?

Lisa (angry): Well it’s obvious it’s got something to do with me. Because of the

maintenance it’s got something to do with me if they lay you off.

Son: Yeah yeah. I was going to call you.

Lisa: Well anyway ... you’ve got time in the next few weeks. Go over there. He needs

help. He just can’t come out and say it. It’s hard for him.

Son: Rubbish...

Lisa: Are you still there?

Son: You can talk. It’s not your problem.

Lisa: … But you’re not on your own. Phillip’s there too. And I ... can still help... If you

want.

Pause.

Well that’s enough for now. Yeah, give me a call sometime, then we can talk about the whole

thing again.

Son: Yes, yes... I’ll call you next week.

Lisa: Do you want to talk to the kids?

Son: No ... I’ve got something on the stove... so ...

Bye then.

Lisa: … Yeah. Wait. Don’t you want to have the kids next weekend? I mean, now that

you’ve got some time.

Son: … I don’t know ... No, I’d rather not ... I ... have to get sorted out ... with the situation

and stuff.

Pause.

Lisa: Ah …

Son: Ok, goodbye then.

Lisa: Yeah …

Hangs up.

The son puts the phone down. He drinks a mouthful of beer. The phone rings.

Son: Yes?

Phillip: Yeah, hello, it’s me.

Son: Yeah, what is it? That is so loud.

11

Phillip: Yeah – did you call me?

Pause.

Hello?

Son: What the hell’s wrong with you? We just talked to each other before.

Phillip: What?

Son: Are you drunk?

Phillip: I really can’t understand you. I’m going to hang up. I’ll call you next week.

Son: Yes, wait ...

The brother hangs up.

The son puts the phone down. He thinks. After a while the phone rings again.

Son: Hello?

The father coughs.

Dad ... I don’t want to argue with you...

Father: We’re not arguing.

Son: Don’t be like that. Of course we’re arguing. About the same old things.

Father: Did we argue? Well I’m not arguing with you.

Son: Damn it. Don’t go behaving as if nothing happened again. So, if you were to go to the

doctor’s ... Everyone can see that you’ve got to go. Me, Phillip ...

Father: I …

Son: I really don’t want to argue with you ...

Is everything ok between us again now?

Father: I … ’m afraid to go to the doctor’s ...

Son: Oh Dad ...

Father: Your mother always used to go with me.

Can’t you come ... for a couple of days ... and go with me?

Son: Dad ...

Father: I … ’m a bit scared.

Son: Dad …

Son: I … ’ve got to work ...

Father: And ... next weekend?

Son: The kids are here then ...

Father: Ok …

Son: Yes ...

Father: Alright ... I think I’ll ask Phillip then.

12

Son: … Yes.

Father: Do you think I can still call him?

Son: … Yeah … sure.

Father: Ok then: see you later.

Son: Yeah ... see you later.

Hangs up.

13

Scene 2 - Ulf

Characters: The Son. Ulf.

Location: A gravel lake.

Time: Late afternoon. The light gets redder and redder.

Son: Great to see you again ... Just us two ...

Ulf: … Yeah, it’s really great ...

Son: It’s been ages ...

Pause.

Is there another beer?

Ulf: Nah, all gone.

Pause.

Ulf: When was he going to come?

Son: 3 o’clock.

Ulf: And what time is it now?

Son: Now it’s ... Damn, it’s half four ...

Ulf: Soon ... I dunno ... should we keep waiting ... Maybe I can start with what I wanted to

say.

Son: Nah, wait till he comes. I really want it to be. Like it was before, everything. The three

of us together. Like time for conversations and stuff. It’s so good to have time again ... for

conversations, for friends ...

The son throws a pebble into the lake.

Ulf: (after a pause) I’ve not really got that much time.

Son: It’s great though. We’ve got to enjoy this: the three of us back together again. Here by

the lake, like before. It’s great, isn’t it? Us being able to ...

Pause.

Beer’s all gone, yeah?

Ulf: (grabs his shoulder) What’s the matter with you?

Son: I just think it’s great, that’s all, just great!

Pause.

For fuck’s sake! Why doesn’t he come? For fuck’s sake, why can’t the idiot be punctual for

once?

Ulf: Look, I’m really going to have to go soon, but I did want to talk to you ...

14

Son: Yeah, yeah ... You’ve got to go. That’s right, go on then. So important. That you’ve

got to go on a Saturday, late on a Saturday afternoon. That’s right. Do it, go on. You can’t

get drunk with your mates here at the weekend and talk about sport or at least the weather ...

or even the job ... nah, can’t do it any more. Because you ... yeah, look at yourself. You’re

sitting here in your fucking jacket ... But I’ll tell you one thing: you’re not genuine any more.

You’ve traded in your genuineness for ... And that fucking grin of yours ... What are you

grinning about ... Is this some kind of joke I’m telling you ... you traded your genuineness in

for that fucking mask of a grin.

Ulf: I’m not grinning. The sun …

Son: Man, they are going to eat you, they have eaten you. Here in your fucking jacket

they’re eating you. On a Saturday here in your jacket. There’s salt and pepper for them, your

fucking jacket here on a Saturday.

Ulf: Man …

Son: WHAT?

Ulf: I’m wearing this jacket because I’m going to a funeral at 6.

Pause.

Or more like a memorial service.

Pause.

You know: Lisa’s uncle.

Pause.

Well, she asked me to go with her.

Pause.

She said –

Son: That is just not ... I just don’t believe that. What’s she asking YOU for? Why’s she

asking YOU, because she’s ...

Ulf: She said that you’d said ... You didn’t have time ...

Son: Recently there’s been a few times ... Oh – why did you call Lisa and tell her I’d been let

go?

Ulf: She rang me.

Son: That doesn’t fucking matter, who did what ... She rang you?

Ulf: Yes.

Son: That is ...

Ulf: Besides: It’s not a secret. I thought she must have known for ages.

Sohn: Pfft.

15

Ulf: How did she not know?

Short pause.

Son: Fuck it – why’s this guy not turning up?

Short pause.

Ulf: But I really wanted to tell you something else ...

Son: Why are you spending so much time with Lisa?

Ulf: She ... feels alone a lot of the time.

Son: But she’s got the children.

Ulf: She ... feels alone with the children.

Son: That’s rubbish, man. What good’s that going to do? Are you ... Is the whole world ...

Ulf: I want to help you ...

Son: Help?

I’m having a brilliant time.

Ulf: No, you can see you’re not. Your eyes are all swollen...

He holds him by the shoulder.

Son (releases himself): Fuck it, get on and say what it is you want to say.

Ulf: Right ... yeah, well ... Bogensee said … that you … if you apologized for the whole

thing ... then ...

Son: Never!

Ulf: Well ... he’d rehire you on exactly the same terms.

Short pause.

He’s got complete faith in you ... Always ...

Short pause.

So in the staff meeting he said ...

Son (loud): I don’t want to know what he said.

Pause.

What did he say?

Ulf: He said you’re a force we can’t do without.

Son: He didn’t say that.

Ulf: He said that.

Pause.

And something else.

The son stares at him. Long pause.

Son: The fact that it’s you telling me this ...

16

... what little of you there is left ...

Making common cause with him ...

Did Lisa ask you ... Right ... I ... don’t know what I ...

Ulf: You’ve got to ...

Son: I do fuck. I’ve had it up to here. Do you really think I’m going to go crawling back ...

after this humiliation? Never. I’ve had enough. If he hadn’t ... I would have resigned. Ha –

and now ... Actually I ought to be grateful. This was I can ... I resign. And you, you, you –

lackey can tell that to your I don’t know what.

He spits on the ground in front of him.

Ulf: I don’t know what that’s in aid of ... but you’re treating me here ... Nah, I’ve had

enough ... This isn’t you ...

Stands up and leaves.

Ulf takes a step along the edge of the bank. The son stands still. Taps nervously with his foot.

Son: Yeah, go on. Run away. Arsehole! (Louder) Fucking retard! You cunt!

Pause.

Oh fuck …

Then he runs after him, catches up and grabs him from behind by the shoulder.

Son: Ulf, wait, wait a minute.

Ulf (leaving): Don’t forget Lisa ... you owe her ... and your children a lot of money.

Son (after him): I just want to sit by this fucking lake for once. I want not to have to care

about anything for a while. Don’t you understand - It’s so ... I’m so tired ... And above all I

don’t want to have to conform to some sort of image that you’ve all got of me. Of someone

who’s benevolent and caring and hard-working and reliable and morally impeccable and

successful. I don’t want to do that.

Don’t you understand: before I steer the boat out into deep waters I want to hang out here

with you for a while and fuck having to do things, fuck what we ought to do, fuck work and

fuck being weighed down with ideas.

We’re friends, we should – be able to sit down together by this fucking lake for once and get

away for a minute from the whole world with its giant pile of crap, this swamp of

responsibilities ... kids ... women ... duties ... And above all fuck this fucking reliability.

Escape for one tiny moment. Just one tiny moment ... escape.

He points towards the lake.

17

Phillip comes jumping in from behind.

Phillip: Hi, hey, how’s it going?

Pause.

Er – I’m a bit late, aren’t I?

Pause.

Ulf says nothing.

Son (first to Phillip, then to Ulf): You … you two really make me want to throw up ...

Exit.

18

Scene 3 - Asthma.

Characters: Father. Son.

Location: A waiting room.

Time: Morning.

Father: Where’s Phillip? He was going to come too.

Son: He couldn’t, he said, he’s got asthma.

Pause.

He hasn’t got asthma.

Pause.

He used to do this all the time in PE. No idea what he’s ...

Father: I’m not well.

Son (sighs): What’s the matter with you now?

Father: I’ve got diahorrea. All last week terrible diahorrea.

Son: Dad. I don’t want to know that.

Father: I can’t keep anything in ...

Son: Dad ...

Short pause.

Thanks a lot.

Father: All the things I know about you. I changed your nappies.

Son: Alright ...

Oh yeah last time on the phone, what were you burbling on about? Were you drunk or

something?

Father: I don’t drink during the week, you know that.

Son: You’ve got to tell him that, the doctor.

Father: That my son thinks I burble on?

Son: Have you been to see Lisa recently?

Father: I visited the children.

Son: Please don’t just turn up there unannounced.

Father: They’re my grandchildren – they’re pleased to see me.

Son: You frightened them.

Father: The children love me!

19

Son: The kids were afraid of you. You frightened them! With the ulcers on your hand and

burbling on and having no idea. Why did you show them the ulcers on your hand?

Father: No. They love me, the children.

Son: This isn’t a conversation, just saying “No” all the time. I can’t talk to you like this.

Stop being so stupid, Dad.

Father: Are you calling me stupid?

Pause.

Are you calling your father stupid?

Son: No, Dad.

Pause.

Father: He calls his own father stupid!

Son: For God’s sake Dad.

Father: Not too stupid to bring you up and provide for you for 24 years at any rate. I can’t

be that stupid.

Son (somewhat milder): Alright, Dad.

Father (becoming rather tearful): And God knows it wasn’t always easy being there for you

all the time. And I never hit one of you. Never! I was always there for everything, wasn’t I?

Pause.

Son: Yes, Dad.

Father: Calling his father stupid.

Son: Sorry, Dad. Sometimes you’re just so ... Oh I don’t know.

Pause.

Father: Don’t you want to meet a nice girl again?

Son: Dad.

Father: You can’t stay on your own for ever. People need someone.

Son: That is one thing I’m definitely not going to talk to you about.

Father: What’s going on with Lisa?

Son: Lisa and I are separated. You know that. Stop forever bringing it up.

Father: Lisa loves you.

Son: She’s with Ulf now.

Father: No, she loves you.

Son: She loves Ulf now.

Father (puts his hand on his shoulder): Trust me – she loves you.

Son: Will you please stop grabbing hold of me. I really am starting to think you’re drunk.

20

Father: I just think it’s nice that we’re here together again. The two of us. And with time to

talk.

Son: Yeah yeah.

Father: You’ve got the children too. That’s a bond not easily broken. Families are so

important.

Son: If families are so important, why were you always away?

Father (takes his hand down): … I always tried to be there.

But I had work to do too. For us ...

Son: Alright, Dad.

Father: I worked. For us. You know that.

Son: Yes, alright, Dad.

Father (nods at him, now a tear of pride): You are a beautiful, intelligent person. You were

vain sometimes. And always the hardest with the people who loved you most. As if you

stopped being interested in them as soon as you’d hooked them. With your charm ...

Pause.

A beautiful, intelligent person …

You were always Phillip’s great role model.

Son: What’s going on here, Dad?

Father: You were. He was always trying to follow in your footsteps. No matter what you

did. Music, that model-making thing –

Son: It’s so long ago.

Father: Don’t you run any more?

Son: Not at the minute.

Father: Go running with Phillip. He’d really like that. He keeps complaining about having

to run on his own.

Son: I don’t know. Running’s not really that important to me right now.

Father (puts his hand on his shoulder): Yeah, you were always like that. Always something

new. Always something exciting. Oh – for years I was always the same. I always gave up,

gave in. You’re completely different. More like your mother. (Pause.). I am really, really

proud of you. And the way that you do it all with the job and the children and everything.

Son: Yeah yeah.

Father: No. (grabs him by the neck) Really, really proud. All the mistakes your father

made. You don’t make them.

Son: Dad …

21

Father: Yes, my son?

Son: (searching for words, then bursting out) Why does this last for ever?

Father: But it’s nice sitting here. The three of us. Chatting.

… Where’s Phillip got to?

Son: Damn it Dad, he said he wasn’t coming. Because of his asthma.

Father: He’s got asthma? I didn’t know that.

22

4. Alone

Characters: Ulf, Son.

Location: Outdoors in a shopping centre.

Time: Early morning.

Ulf: Is it so difficult to get a loan?

Son: Like I said, not if you guarentee it for me.

Ulf: You better explain it to me again.

Son: I’ve already explained it to you thirty times.

Ulf: Yes, but I still don’t understand it.

Son: You go into that bank. Together with me into that bank. I present this to them. Then

they offer me financing. And then you guarentee it. You know all this.

Ulf: No, I mean ... What are you planning?

Son: That doesn’t fucking matter. I need the money for a project.

Ulf: A project?

Son: You told me I ought to start something again.

I want to set up on my own.

Ulf: On your own?

Son: Yes!

Ulf: What are you going to set up on your own doing?

Son: That doesn’t fucking matter now. We’ve got an appointment in half an hour. I wanted

to have a bite to eat first –

Ulf: What? You’ve made an appointment? For a guarentee that I hadn’t the faintest idea

about until just now.

Son: All you’ve got to do is sign a guarentee for me.

Pause.

Ulf: Can’t you ask someone who’s in a stronger financial position?

Son: Who’s that meant to be?

Ulf: I dunno.

Son: Well then.

Ulf: But ... But this isn’t really my problem, is it?

Son: Not your problem? Of course it’s your problem? We’re friends, aren’t we?

23

Ulf: Yes, but not for better or for worse. I ... I’m not going to go along with any old crap

without thinking about it simply because you’ve decided that something’s got to happen in

your life again ...

Son: So that’s the way you see it?

Ulf: Yeah … Something like that.

Son: Fine! If you don’t want to guarentee my idea ...

Ulf: I don’t even know what your idea is.

Son: It doesn’t fucking matter. This is about a principle. Being there for each other and that

shit. You might just be there for me when I need you.

Ulf: That is so unfair! I was always there for you. You were the one who dropped me in it.

Son: So that’s the way you see it, is it?

Pause.

You know, I don’t need this kind of friendship. Where I’m having to justify myself the whole

time.

Ulf: Jesus, you can’t be serious.

Son: And being compromised.

Ulf: What in world is wrong with you? Wake up.

Son: And then going behind my back and fucking my wife.

Ulf: God’s sake, she’s not your wife any more. You’re the one who left her.

Son: It doesn’t fucking matter. You still don’t do things like that.

Ulf: All I did was go to a funeral with her.

Son: I don’t fucking care where you went together. You do not do things like that.

Ulf: I don’t believe any of this.

Son: So, what now? Come on, let’s have something to eat.

Ulf: No ... I don’t think ... I don’t want to.

Son (looks at hm for a long time): A friendship like this ... Where you won’t even ... What’s

a friendship like this worth? Nothing’s what it’s worth. (threatening) I wouldn’t even wipe

my arse on it.

Ulf: I’m going now.

Son (suddenly friendly): Wait Ulf. For God’s sake Ulf ... I need your help.

Ulf leaves.

You haven’t understood anything. You capitalist cunt.

Ulf comes back. Batters the surprised son to the ground.

24

Ulf: No, you haven’t understood anything. You just hurt everyone around you. That’s your

project. When you break down, you want to make everything around you break down too.

Now I’m going to tell you what friendship is: to love somebody despite all this shit and to still

forgive him.

He kisses him.

You’re such an arsehole, I’m not doing this any more.

Ulf leaves..

Son (stands up): Hey Ulf. Wait a minnute. Ulf, hey … But you’re my best friend.

Ulf has gone.

Son (to himself): Capitalist cunt.

25

Scene 5 – Lisa.

Characters: The Son. Lisa.

Location: Lisa’s hallway and kitchen.

Time: Early afternoon.

Son: Hey Lisa.

Lisa: Hey, what are you doing here?

Son: I wanted to see what you were –

Lisa: You’re looking well.

Son: Yeah, you think so?

Lisa: No – actually you look like shit. Were you in a fight?

Son: But I am well. Better than ever. I feel free and –

Lisa: Your hair. Don’t you want to go to the hairdressers?

Son: Oh, em you know –

Lisa: And you’ve got thin.

Son: Yeah, you know ... Yeah ...

Lisa: Sit down, shall I make us some coffee?

Son: No, I’ve got to be off again in a minute. I just wanted to quickly -

Lisa: That’s a shame. The kids will be back in half an hour.

Son: Yes, I know.

Lisa: So what is it then? I’m starting to get worried.

Son: I ... Well I’m sorry about your uncle and everything.

Lisa: Yes …

Son: So … Why did you ask Ulf if he would go with you?

Lisa: I’ve known Ulf for ever –

Son: Yes, but what about me?

Pause.

Lisa: You don’t give a fuck. This is just another of your vanity things. You’d never have

gone with me.

Son: Yeah.

Lisa: It’s true.

Son: Yeah. Well. I dunno. What are you up to?

Lisa: What am I supposed to be up to? Working. The kids. What’s all this about?

26

Son: Oh, just asking.

Pause.

Lisa: And you? Everything ok?

Son: Yeah.

Pause.

I er … I need your help with something ….

Lisa: Yes.

Son: Well, the thing about my lay off. Well I’ve got into a daft situation somehow –

Lisa: Ask Bogensee if he’s got something for you.

Have you asked him? Look, I’m certain. Up until that row ... He always made a point of

how much he needed you. It’s true, isn’t it?

Son: Stop it. He wouldn’t take me.

Lisa: Well …

Son: Someone from the firm told me he’d said that in the staff meeting.

Lisa: Oh … And what are you going to do now?

Son: I dunno. I ... I’ve been thinking that I might set up my own business ... I really don’t

want to be told what to do by anyone any more ...

Lisa: Your own business?

Son: Yes.

Lisa: You’ll need money for that. Money from where?

Son: Course, man! I know you need money for that. Do you think I’m ... I’m getting a loan

from the bank.

Lisa: You’ve already got two loans. What have you got as security?

Son: Ulf’s guarenteeing it for me.

Lisa: Ulf’s guarenteeing it for you …

Son: Yes.

Lisa: No – Ulf is not guarenteeing it for you.

Son: What’s that supposed to–

Lisa: Not as long as I’ve got any say in the matter.

Son: Are you mad or something? This is between Ulf and me ...

Lisa: That’s bollocks about setting up on your own. You had a good job.

Son: It’s just not my thing.

Lisa: You are such a –

Do you think all this shit …

27

Points around her.

… do you think this was my dream? This here, all this shit. Do you know what it’s like.

Being looked at with a tiny hint – it really is hardly noticeable – with a tny hint of pity?

Son: Yes.

Lisa: (loud) No, you don’t. You know fuck all. You could have a good job any time.

Son: I can’t do that job any more.

Pause. Lisa looks at him for a long time

Lisa: Yes, you could … If you could see things from other people’s points of view –

Then you’d know …

Suddenly crying.

Fuck’s sake! This wasn’t my dream. My dream was to start a life here with these two

wonderful children and with you. To lead a life. Here in this house. Look around. It’s a ... a

fucking ghost of a house. A box of relics.

(loud) I relied on you. On you and all the crap you told me.

Son: Lisa … Now is not –

Lisa: Your stuff everywhere. That you were always supposed to collect. Your smell

everywhere. Things everywhere that you built ... Oh fuck. You’ve ... this is eating me up.

All the things we wanted to do. The plans. All of that is us here. You’re so deep inside here.

In this (she shouts) FUCKING house. In the children. In me

Longer pause.

Son (nervous): Lisa … I actually came here because … Can you lend me some money?

Lisa: Out!

Son: What’s the matter you?

Lisa: It makes me so sad. So indescribably, indescribably sad, that you don’t understand.

That you don’t understand what’s the matter with me.

Son (holds her shoulders): God’s sake Lisa, come on will you … I’m not going to do

anything to you.

Lisa (calmer): You turn up here, after 2 months you turn up here. To borrow money. From

us. And we’ve hardly got any. Do you know why: Because you haven’t paid any

maintenance for months.

Son: I just wanted to –

Lisa (catching herself, understanding that she is talking to someone who is only capable of

limited insight): Yes – alright.

Pause.

28

Son: I … Er …

Lisa: What is it?

Son: I recently ... er ... I don’t want to get on your nerves.

Lisa wipes away her tears and laughs.

Son: Stop laughing.

Lisa (stops laughing): Go on.

Son: I’m … talking to Dad a lot.

Lisa: That’s good.

Son: – but every time the way he is just drives me mad. Then he gets so sentimental. And

then he starts telling stories. How hard it was for him and Mum. And getting out of the East

over and over again. It must be four times a day by now. Honestly.

Lisa: Bollocks.

Son: No, really.

Lisa: I always think it’s nice when he comes. The kids love him.

Son: Yeah yeah.

Lisa: Someone’s got to look after him.

Son: Yes, I know. Yes – fuck it – I know.

Lisa: I’d like to help you. I wish we could see a bit more of each other ... I miss you so much

... Is there any way I can help?

Long pause.

Other than money?

A ring at the door.

The kids.

Pause.

D’you want to go out the back?

He leaves quickly by the back way.

Call me …

29

Scene 6 – Self-employment.

Characters: Father. Son.

Location: The son’s home.

Time: Evening.

Father: You really want to set up your own business?

Son: Yes, I just need to get the guarentee sorted out.

Father: Guarentee?

Son: Yeah yeah. No problem, just a formality.

Father: Your own business ...

Son: Yes …

Father: Amazing. Not that I wouldn’t have believed it. I’ve always thought that.

Something great will come of you.

Son: …

Father: let me take a look at you.

No – look straight at me, look into my eyes.

Oh yes – my son. You’ll do it. Amazing. You are amazing.

You’ll do it.

Son: Yes, alright, Dad.

Father: I’ll join you. You’re bound to need someone to do the simple things and stuff. For

the dirty work, eh? (Father laughs)

I can tell, new times are on their way now.

Son: Yes, well ... this is your bed, Dad.

Father: I’m not a burden to you, am I?

Son: No, Dad.

Father: Didn’t that use to be your work room?

Son: Yes.

Father: Don’t you need that now?

Son: No, I ... (this comes out with difficulty) ’ve got an office.

Father: Oh ... Isn’t that expensive?

Son: Oh.

Father: Oh.

Son: Come on, let’s get you unpacked.

30

Father: Yes.

Son: Would you like a drink?

Father: No – or wait, of course – let’s have a cognac.

Son: Dad, it’s already ...

While the father is talking he takes the cognac and glasses out of his travelling bag.

Father: Right then to the business. You’re your own boss now. Isn’t that wonderful. You

only live once, eh? Let’s have a drink and then go out to the lake. Like we used to. Eh?

Son: A ‘Bons Bois 44’?

Father: Yeah.

Son: That must have cost 200 Euro.

Father: Oh …

Son: You’re living here with me, you don’t pay any rent. And then spend 200 Euro on

cognac.

Heavy pause.

Father: I’ve only been here 10 minutes.

10 Minutes.

And you’re lecturing me …

You’re lecturing me about not ...

Paying rent? …

You lived with me for 24 years.

24 years …

Weren’t your mother and I patient ...

With all your changing hobbies, opinions, girlfriends, your weird friends who would regularly

steal from us and vomit in the hall. Even smoking weed –

We never hit either of you.

Son: Dad! I want to know right now how you got this cognac ... Why this ... you’re driving

me mad. Why does this have to be?

Pause.

Father: I borrowed the 200 Euro.

Son: What?

Pause.

You borrowed 200 Euro for a bottle of cognac?

Father: My son’s starting his own business. That that happens. That’s something really

special. That only happens once. It’s special.

31

Son: 200 Euro Dad! On cognac!

Father: Now, my son, better times are coming.

Don’t worry.

That’s Dad’s job.

Hm?

Son: Man! For 200 Euro I could have you looked after for almost a week. Pause. – The

father puts the cognac slowly back on the window sill. He takes his travelling bag.

Sorry, Dad.

The father leaves.

No, Dad, come on. It wasn’t really so ... Get your things unpacked first –

The son wants to take the bag. The father holds on to it tight, he pulls at it to get it free.

There is a small struggle.

Come on, Dad. Jesus. Sit down. Just sit down. Let’s drink your fucking cognac, ok. Ok?

He knocks his father. Harder than intended. He falls onto the bed.

Father: Raise your hand against your own father ...

The father stands up, slaps his son in the face.

The son holds his cheek, incensed, long pause. The father wants to leave. The son pushes

him onto the bed.

Son: Right! That is enough.

You’re staying here!

32

Scene 7 – Telephone coversations

Characters: Son, Father, Lisa, Phillip, Ulf.

Time: Late evening.

Location: The son’s home.

Phillip: Yes, hello?

Son: Yeah, hello Phillip.

Phillip: So how’s it going?

Son: Good.

Phillip: What’s up?

Son: Er, so how are you then?

Phillip: Fine ...

Son: Have you got a cold? You’re talking through your nose ...

Phillip: No, I dunno.

Son: Yeah, thing is, right ...

Phillip: Yeah?

Son: Can you lend me some money?

Phillip: Lend you money?

Son: Yeah …

Phillip: Can I lend you money?

Son: Yeah …

Phillip: Well, er, how much?

Son: I dunno, how much can you do?

Phillip: Ooh, er, I dunno, well ... How much, what do you need it for ...

Son: Ooh erm. Right ...

Phillip: Hang on, I’ll go and see how much I’ve got. One second ...

Son: What do you mean you’re going to go and look ... Phillip …

The father enters.

Father: Who are you talking to?

Son: Dad, I’m just talking to ... For God’s sake, Dad. Fucking hell, you’re ... Why are you

naked?

He hangs up the phone.

33

Father: Oh …

Son: Fucking Jesus, why are you naked?

Father: I’m … Oh … I’m er …

Son: Dad. Christ! Get in there now and put some clothes on.

Father: Oh, oh. I’m so … I don’t know what …

The phone rings.

Son: You can’t imagine what just happened here.

Lisa: It’s me. Lisa.

Son: Oh, hello …

Lisa: Why, what’s happened?

Son: Oh, it’s my father, he ... oh it doesn’t ... What’s up?

Lisa: I just wanted to hear how you were.

Son: Er?

Lisa: And whether you didn’t want to hear how the kids are.

Son: Well, you’ve caught me at a really difficult time right now –

Lisa: Yes, that too.

Son: I feel this is a big imposition right now.

Lisa: An imposition? You feel your children are an imposition?

Son: No. I don’t mean it like that. Well ...

Lisa: What …

Son: Oh, just the thing with my father. I’ve really got to look after him a lot.

Pause.

Lisa: How is he then?

Son: Yeah, you wouldn’t believe the stuff he’s doing. He’s a disaster. Hang on.

Son: (to the father, covering the receiver with his hand)

What is it now?

Father: Who’s that on the phone?

Son: Dad. You need to get dressed.

Father: Well who is it?

Son: Lisa.

Father: Lisa! Put her on loudspeaker.

Son: Go in there now.

34

Father (mumbles): Yes, but I really need to talk to you ...

Son: What is there to laugh about? Do you know ... That is really ... Why are you laughing

for?

Lisa: You really are a big child.

Son: No – he’s a big child. It’s stressful. I really do have to spend almost the whole day

looking after him. So that he doesn’t do some nonsense. Like a kid. I’ve got a kid here in the

house. You can’t imagine what it’s like.

Pause.

Lisa?

Lisa: Tell me – Don’t you notice anything any more?

Son: What do you mean by that?

Lisa hangs up.

The father enters.

Father: Son, a stupid thing just happened to me, a really stupid thing. Could you come now

…

Son: Dad, I’ve just got to phone Phillip. Then I’ll be with you, ok?

The phone rings after a short time..

Son: Hello? (to the father) hay, dad, just go over there for a minute. Er, relax or whatever.

The father exits.

Ulf: Yeah, hello.

Son (after a pause): Er … Hello Ulf.

Ulf: How’s it going?

Son: Yeah, well what can I say. The thing with ...

Ulf: You don’t want to tell me, I don’t want to hear it.

Son: Ulf. It’s been 4 weeks now. Get over it.

Ulf: How’s your own business going?

Son: Arsehole.

Ulf: Arsehole?

Son: What do you want from me?

Ulf: I want the money you owe me.

35

Son: What the ... what kind of parasite are you? You know perfectly well that’s not on. So

how can you ask in this situation ...

Ulf: I don’t want the money for me, I want to give it to Lisa ...

Son: What? Why –

Ulf: Till you give her back the money that she’s owed.

Son: So that’s ... I don’t know what I ...

Ulf: The money that is owed to her. And to your children.

Pause.

Son: Ok, the thing with the guarentee, ok. That I can understand. But you know, if I give

you the money back now ..., then setting up my business ... Well, I’ve got ... so what am I

supposed to do?

Ulf: That’s your problem.

Son: That’s my problem ... Fuck’s sake, Ulf, don’t be like that.

The father enters. He has a plant pot in his hand.

Father: I’ve got to talk to you, son.

Son: No, Dad, I can’t right now – What are you doing with that plant pot?

The father says nothing.

For God’s sake put some clothes on.

Father: Oh. I’m. Oh. I’m really …

Son: Ulf, right now this is … Look … don’t be so cold. So distant, man. Remember when ...

Ulf: I’m fed up of remembering things. Deal with it. Get up off your arse.

Father: I really find this very very embarrassing.

Son (hangs up the phone in all the chaos): Right, now you can shut your ... Jesus, get in there

and (hissing every word) put some clothes on .

Son: Ulf, look, I’ll call you straight back, I’ve got to –

He realises he has hung up.

Father: Son, something stupid happened to me. Something really stupid. Oh.

Son (shouts): Holy shit. I need to use the phone. This is important.

Father (quietly): I’m so proud of you. The way you get everything done. You work so hard.

36

The son walks up to the father, takes him by the shoulders, turns him around and pushes him

out of the room.

The son dials a number.

Son: Hello Lisa.

Lisa: Hello?

Son: Yeah well ... Er ... Do you remember ... You remember that time with the nasal spray?

Lisa: Uh?

Son: You know that time with Ulf and the nasal spray.

Lisa: Is everything all right with you?

Son: When Ulf took the nasal spray out of our bathroom cabinet?

Lisa says nothing.

Yeah, er – well he was addicted to the stuff then, I think.

Lisa says nothing.

All I want to say is ...

Well, that’s as much as he’s going to contribute. He can’t even be addicted to something

without being all boring about it. He is so miserable. We always used to laugh about that

together, about how miserable he is. He can’t even nick anything without seeming totally

ridiculous.

He is a dishonest, stone cold sober, bureaucratic bastard. Don’t believe a word he says. He

wants to ... he wants to destroy us.

Lisa: Ulf wants to destroy us?

Son: He is such a fucking bastard. Don’t listen to him.

Lisa: Ulf wants to destroy us?

Son: Come on, Lisa ...

not with Ulf. Jesus, Lisa, you can’t be serious.

Pause.

Lisa: I can’t carry on like this. Either you disappear completely or ...

Father (calls from offstage): Oh oh oh oh.

Lisa: The kids miss you.

Pause.

37

I miss you.

Pause.

Come back.

Pause.

The thing with your father. We’ll manage ...

Pause.

I want to help you.

Pause.

I’m afraid I can’t lend you any money ... But ...

Pause.

Son: Oh man. That’s not going to happen Lisa. You know, it’s only in a disaster ... You

know I’d really like to find some time to be with you and ... I ... miss you too ... somehow.

The father comes in and presses the button to put the phone on loudspeaker.

Father: Lisa something really stupid just happened to me.

Son (turning the loudspeaker off): Hang on ... can I call you back?

He hangs up.

He grabs hold of the father and walks away with him.

Father (while he is being taken away): Something really stupid.

The father and the son have exited. The son can be heard shouting offstage: “Holy shit, this

is not ... What is this ...“. Then a scuffle, a suppressed shout, more scuffling, a muffled noise.

Then it is suddenly calm off. The son returns, he is red and sweating.

He stands in front of the phone, his hands on his hips, searching for calm.

The phone rings, he exhales, picks up.

Son: Lisa?

Phillip: No it’s Phillip. Ok: I’ve got 122 Euro left …

Son: 122 Euro …

Phillip: Yeah, but er, I kind of need them myself ...

38

Son: Er …

Phillip: If there’s really no other way, then I can let you ... (rustling) 50 Euro …

Son: No don’t bother ... it’s alright.

Phillip: Your number’s engaged in no time.

Son: Yeah.

Phillip: Your own business, eh?

Son: Hm.

Phillip: Why don’t you ask Lisa?

Uncomfortable pause.

How’s Dad getting on?

Son: Good.

Phillip: Oh, that’s good.

Son: He likes spending his time in my wardrobe now.

Phillip: What?

Son: Oh it’s nothing.

Philip: Ok … Yeah … Well …

Son: I need help with Dad.

Philip: Yeah … Well … er … My breathing is getting worse and worse. I don’t know if I

should go to the doctor’s about it soon ...

Son: I need help here. With Dad.

Pause.

Phillip: If you need money why don’t you start working again or go to the bank or

whatever ...

Son: I’m free now, Phillip, free. I don’t need all that any more.

Phillip: Oh yeah, setting up your own business. Hmm.

Pause.

Do you think I should go to the doctor’s about my ...

Son: Definitely not, Phillip.

Phillip: Hmm …

Pause.

I think that’s nice …

Son: What?

Phillip: That you’re free …

Pause.

39

Son: I’ll call you.

Phillip: Yeah. Say hi to the kids.

Son: Hmm.

Phillip: Are they there?

Son: No.

Phillip: Hm, I thought they were with you every other weekend?

Pause.

Weren’t you supposed to have them again ... well ...

Pause.

Son: Have you been talking to Lisa? Is that why it’s taken you so long to call me back, is

that it?

Phillip: No … I …

Son: Are you all ganging up on me or something? What’s going on?

Phillip: Hey … I …

Son: And you’re part of it. I’m not going to grovel for you. You go talking to Lisa ...

Behind my back ...

Phillip: I … was only trying to find the money ….

Son: I’m free now. Do you understand, Phillip. I don’t need any of this any more. I don’t

need anyone any more. I’m free ...

He hangs up.

Free …

40

Scene 7.1 – Cognac

Characters: Father, Son.

Location: In the kitchen of the son’s home, crouching in front of the wardrobes.

Time: Very late in the evening.

They are drinking red wine, two empty bottles and one half-empty one...

Father: Well, I don’t know why we’re not drinking the cognac.

Son: Maybe we can still take it back.

Father: But what for? Now everything’s going to get better, son.

It’s a wave. Soon all our worries ...

He makes a gesture.

Son: Have you still got the receipt?

Father (drawn out): Yeees...

Son: Yeah? Where is it?

Father: I …

don’t know any more.

Long pause.

Son: Dad, you’ve got dementia.

Pause.

Father: Yes, I know.

Son: Dad …

Father: Yes, I know …

Son: Well, I don’t know, maybe soon you ought to, well here at my place ...

Father: Yes, I know. Don’t say it.

Pause.

Come on, let’s have a drink.

Pause.

To better times. To the best of times.

Later that evening.

Son: Hello Lisa.

Lisa: Hello, who’s there?

Son: It’s me.

41

Lisa: It’s 5 in the morning.

Son: Beautiful …

Lisa: You’re drunk.

Son: So what?

Lisa: I don’t want anything to do with you drunk at 5 in the morning.

Son: I just wanted to tell you …

Lisa: What?

Son: Beautiful, that I …

Lisa (shouts impatient): WHAT?

Son (shouts drunk): THAT I THINK YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!

Lisa: Think about what you’re doing. What you’re doing to me. Weren’t you going to

phone me earlier?

Son: Lisa, there’s something I’ve got to tell you.

Lisa: I can’t stand much more of this. This is ... it’s no ...

Son: Lisa, yeah, you are …

yeah, you’ve got …

Lisa: Goodbye.

Son: Lisa? Lisa …

He rips the phone out of the wall. He stands there like that for a while. Then he plugs it back

in again. He tries to call Lisa back. Ringing, then an engaged tone. He lets the phone sink

down.

Even later again. It’s morning. The son is sitting at the table in a dressing gown

Son: Free now. Totally free …

42

Scene 8 – Bogensee

Location: A dark room.

Time: Maybe morning.

Characters: The son.

The son stands in front of a mirror. He is clean shaven. He adjusts his tie rather nervously.

He stretches both hands away from him, palms up. Then he drops them with a sigh.

Son: I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m ... so sorry ...

He takes a break, his face wrestling expectantly. Then it brightens and opens up.

Thank you ... I was stupid ... I’m so sorry.

43

Scene 9 – Bogensee.

Time: Morning.

Location: An office building. A room adjoining Bogensee’s office. Between the tiny chairs

on one side and the desk on the other side there is a strangely large amount of space.

Characters: The Son, a secretary, a co-worker, Bogensee.

Secretary and Co-worker whsiper.

Co-worker: Can you smell it too?

Secretary: Hmm.

Co-worker: Somehow there’s a smell of soup here ...

They look over towards the son. A long pause.

Son: Yes, that’s me …

Lentil soup.

Yeah, it’s a funny story …

He laughs nervously.

Co-worker: Yeah?

Son: Er. About my father ... Well he made lentil soup. And ... Well ...

There is a long pause. The Secretary and the Co-worker look at him.

Son: Yes, and he took the soup over to the wardrobe ...

Pause.

and poured it in …

Pause.

And …

I just can’t get it out again …

Of my clothes …

Pause.

Sorry.

Long pause. Then crackling in the intercom.

Secretary: Now you can …

The son goes through.

44

Bogensee: Ah Mr (xxxx). Nice to see you again.

Son: Yes … it is.

Bogensee: I find that strange, that you think it’s nice. If you thought it was so nice, then

you’d surely have come earlier.

Son: Yes you know, I ... er ... didn’t know whether you would even see ...

Bogensee: You didn’t know whether I would see you?

Son: Yes … erm …

Bogensee: That’s nonsense …

Son (laughs): That’s a relief.

Bogensee. That’s nonsense: you knew perfectly well that I’d want to see you.

Son: You’re flattering me ... I ...

Bogensee: No, I think, you don’t quite understand. You knew perfectly well that I wanted to

see you.

Son: I …

Bogensee: Didn’t you?

Son: Yes …

Bogensee: But … You didn’t react. You didn’t come.

Son: Well, Mr Bogensee … erm … I’ve got to explain …

Bogensee: I regard everything here, you know this, this is my philosophy, as a kind of

family.

Son: Yes, of course, I know that ...

Bogensee: In a family you don’t let each other down.

Son: Mr Bogensee, I didn’t want to let you …

Bogensee: You have let me down. I am very, very disappointed. No, that’s not the right

word: I am hurt.

Son: Well –

Bogensee: Aggrieved.

Son (laughs): Just let me –

Bogensee: So I don’t understand any of this. Now you’re laughing. I tell you that this has

hurt me and you laugh.

Son: No …

Bogensee: Why you didn’t come much sooner …

Sohn: I er ... I was. Well I eventually realized that ... Yes, I know, it was rather late ...

45

Bogensee: Oh yes. Late. You can say that ... Late ...

Son: Yes, very late ....

Bogensee: Very late.

Son: I know, I should have come earlier ...

Bogensee: Yes. Quite definitely. You are late.

Son: Well ... You know I’ve always been a good ...

Bogensee: You know I know that.

Son: Yes …

Bogensee: Only very good people work here ... Or do you want to ...

Son: No …

Bogensee: But that’s just one side ... You understand. That’s clear, I can only use people

who are good ... But also reliability. Loyalty.

Son: Yes, I …

Bogensee: You’re late.

Son: I’m sorry. Mr Wulff led me to understand that you might be willing to …

Bogensee: Do you know how long ago that was?

Son: Ermm.

Bogensee: That was 2 months ago ...

You know the pace of things here.

So how am I supposed to leave such an important post unfilled ... So ... How do you think ...

Son: Perhaps …

Bogensee: Perhaps that’s your problem too. That you think the whole world is just waiting

for you. Is that what you think?

Son: God, no.

Bogensee: But that’s exactly what you think …

I’m going to tell you …

Son: Perhaps you’ve got another job for …

Bogensee: I’m going to tell you something: I used to be the same. Just wanting to have all

the time. Just demanding all the time. You should take a step back. Think about yourself

and your life and your whole situation.

Son: You know, I’ve ended up in a pretty stupid situation.

Bogensee: I’m not saying this to annoy you. I’m saying this because I like you. I’m saying

this because I want to help you. Because I’m concerned about you and your development.

46

Take a bit of time for yourself, to think. Step outside for a while. Shift down a gear. Go

through all the changes. Be honest with yourself: are you still the same person?

Son: I know, I … I need this …. I’m late, yes …

Bogensee: You’re too late. I can’t do anything for you. Or rather. I have the feeling that it

will be better for you if you find yourself first. Spend some time with your family.

Son (loud): I think you don’t quite understand. Do you know how I worked my arse ... I

wasn’t even able to ... (calming himself) I know I should have come earlier …

Bogensee: Oh yes, you should. But …

He grabs him by the shoulder and comes closer.

Perhaps it’s better this way. You were always like ...

Son (urgently): Mr Bogensee …

Bogensee: Wait. Can you smell that too?

Son (more urgently): Do you know what it’s like when your own father ...

Bogensee (he raises a finger): Excuse me but this is driving me mad. Mrs Gutlowski, why is

there such a strange smell here in the office.

Crackling, a pause.

Secretary (after a pause): I believe that’s Mr (xxxx).

The son remains sitting there for a while, frozen. Then he stands up and leaves. The co-

worker and the secretary watch calmly.

47

Scene 10 – The wardrobe.

Time: After the conversation with Bogensee.

Location: In the son’s living room.

Characters: Father, Son.

Son: Dad?

Dad, where are you?

He becomes nervous, runs through the flat.

Son: Dad! Stop fucking around now.

He becomes more and more nervous. Searching and searching.

Son: Dad, fuck’s sake where are you?

He sits on the floor in front of his wardrobe. Puts his face in his hands and is silent. Then a

sobbing can be heard from the wardrobe.

Son: Dad?

He shakes the wardrobe. It is locked from the inside.

Son: I don’t believe this.

He shakes harder. The whimpering gets louder. He shakes a little bit harder still and kicks

the wardrobe.

Son (kicks the wardrobe again): You’ve locked yourself in my wardrobe.

He shakes hard, kicks once, twice against the wardrobe. He rubs his face. Shakes it again,

kicks it. Then he starts sobbing and sinks down in front of the wardrobe.

48

Father: I’m sorry.

Son: What are you sorry for?

Father: All the worry I’ve caused you.

Son: Oh Dad ...

Father: I never hit either of you.

Pause.

Son: Dad?

Father: Yes?

Son: What are you doing in the wardrobe?

Father: I’m afraid.

Son: Afraid?

Pause.

Father: How was work?

Pause.

Son: Good …

And what was it like here?

Father: I don’t know. A stupid thing happened. I’ve no idea how it could have happened.

Son (resigned): Come out, Dad. Then we’ll talk about it, ok?

Father: No, I …

Son: Come on, Dad ... come out. We’ll have a cognac and talk about it, yeah. Come on out

of the wardrobe.

Father: I … No … I’m … Afraid.

Son: What of, for fuck’s sake!

Pause.

Father: Of you ….

49

Pause.

Son (with his hand on his chest, to the wardrobe): Fucking hell ... Dad ... You’ve ... Got no

need to be afraid of me ... So ...

Come on out and let’s have a cognac and talk the whole thing through.

Nothing stirs.

Evening arrives. The son is still sitting in front of the wardrobe. Then suddenly a rustling can

be heard. The son stands up and places himself in front of the wardrobe.

Then the turning of the key in the lock. Slowly the door opens. The father has clenched his

fists to his chest. The son looks at his father, breathing heavily.

Then he grabs hold of him jerkily, drags him out of the wardrobe and throws him to the

ground. He sits on his father’s upper body. He hits him in the face with the flat of his hand.

Left, right and left again.

Son: I want you to apologize. For all this crap ... For all the trouble you’re causing.

He hits him.

Father: Sorry.

Son (keeps hitting): I want you to apologize for everything. Go on. Apologize for

everything.

Father (horrified): Sorry.

Son: Tell me you’re really sorry ...

Father: I’m really sorry.

Son (a word with each blow): For what you’ve done to me.

Father: I’m really sorry for what I’ve done to you.

Son: Say you’re really sorry for what you’ve done to us.

Father: I’m really ...

Son (a blow with each word): To poor little innocent naive submissive Phillip.

Father: I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.

Son (suddenly calmer now): And now say that you were a bad father. That you couldn’t

cope. That you just couldn’t do it.

50

Pause.

Son (shouts): Say it.

Father: I was a bad father.

Son: An arsehole.

Father: An ... Arsehole …

Son: And now you’re going to say ... That you deserved this. That you’re sick ... That

you ... deserved all this.

Father: I … deserved …. all of this.

Pause.

The son stands up.

Son: Why are you naked?

The father shrugs his shoulders.

The son wipes his mouth and nods.

Son: And why are you bleeding?

The son goes to the wardrobe. The father cowers in a corner.

Son (calming himself, speaking half to his father, half to himself): I need help. I’ll call

Phillip tomorrow. He’ll come then. It can’t go on like this. I should have done that a long

time ago.

The son breathes heavily. He goes to his father. He takes hold of his bloody arms.

Son: Show me.

The father pulls his arms in. The son looks inside the wardrobe.

51

Son: What the hell are you doing? What are you doing to me? Have you completely lost

your ...

He discovers the cognac

Is that the … That’s it …

He brings the cognac bottle out of the wardrobe. It has been broken in half. He holds it up.

It goes dark, a scream is heard.

52

Scene 11 – Phillip

Location: At the son’s home.

Time: Morning.

Characters: Lisa, Son, Father.

A sobbing and knocking can be heard from off stage. The phone rings. The son answers. He

is in a dressing gown, unshaven, his face is grey, his hair tousled. He’s holding his head.

Son: Yes?

Lisa: Yeah, it’s Lisa.

Son (more awake, looks at his watch): Yes? Hello …

Lisa: I’m calling about Phillip.

Son: Er … What?

Lisa: He’s had a really bad asthma attack.

Son: What? No … He’s only … What?

Lisa: Yes … I’m calling from the hospital …

Son: From the hospital?

Lisa: Well … He’d gone jogging … And it’s been so hot the last few days … And then he

had an asthma attack. And then he must have fallen. And – well – you know what he looks

like when he goes out jogging. With his worn-out trousers and his hair and well, people must

have thought ... He was a junkie ...

Son: What …

Lisa: Anyway it took quite a long time for him ... for someone to call for a doctor ... And he

couldn’t breathe for quite a long time.

Son: I don’t believe this …

Lisa: Did you know he had asthma?

Son: Me … No …

Lisa: He must have noticed … That he had asthma …

Son: Well …

Lisa (sobs): You don’t just go out jogging. And definitely not on your own ...

Son: I … Well … How is he now …

Lisa: He’s not back yet …

Son: But, what do the doctors say? When is it going to be possible to ... Talk to him ...

53

Lisa: They don’t know. It was a pretty severe attack.

Pause.

Son: This can’t be true.

Lisa: Yes, it’s terrible ...

Son: So ... How is it you know …

Lisa: Yeah .. er ... Phillip put me ... on one of those emergency notification cards ...

Pause.

The father sneaks up from behind and listens. He is naked.

Son: Phillip put you on a …

Lisa: When are you going to come?

Son: Erm. Well ...

Lisa: This is your brother.

Son: Yes … I know … Course I know he’s my brother ... It’s just ... My father ... I just

can’t leave him alone here right now.

Lisa: Then bring him wiht you.

Son: That’s not on … He’s losing it. I can’t take him anywhere. He’s behaving like a kid.

He’s been breaking down in tears all morning, because he thinks the Army is tailing him. I ...

He’ll go on the rampage ... This thing with Phillip ... I think he’ll go on the rampage.

Lisa: His son is in hospital. Do you want to keep that a secret from him?

Son: No, I mean …

Lisa: What the hell is wrong with you …

Son: Nothing. It’s just …

Lisa: For God’s sake, your brother’s lying here …

Pause.

Son: Yes … I … I dunno …

Lisa: Shall I look after your father?

54

Son: No … I mean …Yes … I don’t know … He’s just coming out with a heap of stuff ...

random stuff ...

Lisa: Ok?

Son: I just mean … right, when he tells you this random stuff ... He’s making a lot of it up

right now. So, you can’t believe everything he says.

Lisa: He’s making it up …

Son: Yes … I just don’t want you being told a load of bollocks.

Lisa: Bollocks?

Son: Yes.

Lisa: Like, for example, that you lock him in the wardrobe?

Pause.

Lisa: Right …

Son: Yes … So what’s he doing writing you on an emergency contact card?

Lisa: I simply can’t believe this. That’s it. Seriously. That is it. I’ve had enough. That is it.

Son: Wait Lisa ... I’m sorry ... It’s only ...

Someone coughs in the background.

Son: Was that Phillip?

Lisa (roughly): No.

Son: Have you got this on loudspeaker?

Pause. Nasal spray.

Son: Hello Ulf …

Lisa: You are such a –

He hangs up quickly. The father disappears. For a while he stares straight ahead.

Son: Shit … (he strokes his header) Fucking shit ... shit ...

He buries his face in his hands. He sits htere and cries. For a long time.

55

The father comes back out again. He stands in the doorway – dressed now. The son notices

him.

Father: You are such an arsehole.

56

Scene 12 – Being Free.

Characters: Father, Son.

Location: The son’s home.

Time: Morning.

The son comes home. He has a bottle in his hand. He takes a key out of his pocket and opens

the wardrobe. The father comes out slowly.

Father: Don’t you have to go to work?

Son: No, not today, Dad. I’m taking the day off.

Father: Ah.

Son: Why are you naked?

Father: A really stupid thing happened to me.

Son: Oh Dad …

Father: Really stupid ... I wanted to cook us something to eat. (he indicates the wardrobe).

Son: Lentil soup …

Father: I’m really, really embarrassed.

Son: It’s not so bad, Dad.

Father: I wanted to cook us something to eat.

Son: It’s not so bad, Dad. Today’s not a day for eating (he indicates the bottle). We’re going

to the lake.

Father: To the lake?

The son slaps him on the shoulder.

Son: Yes, Dad. We’re going to the lake. And we’re going to have a proper drink. Till we’re

off our nuts.

(he holds the bottle out to him) Do you know what this is?

The father looks at him.

Father: Is that a 44 ‘Bon Bois’?

Son: Exactly … And we’re going to drink it now.

57

Father: Where did you get the money?

Son: Well, I’ve set up my own business, Dad ...

Father: Oh yes ... your own business .. such a fine cognac ... (waits for a moment, than slaps

his son on the shoulder – then hugs him, wipes away a tear) I’m … so proud of you, my son.

You’ve made it. (He gives him a dig) You dealt with them all – ha. I knew it ... My great,

big son.

Son: Thanks, Dad

Father: You make your old father so proud.

Son: Oh Dad.

Father: No. I knew it. Better ... the best of times ...

Son: Come on, let’s go to the lake.

Father: Off to the lake – yes (he laughs, wipes a tear out of his face).

Son: Yes. Bury the hatchet. Get smashed on cognac. Fuck it all ... Be properly ... Free ...

Just the three of us.

Father: Phillip’s coming too?

Son: Yes … Phillip’s coming too …

Father (lays his hand on his shoulder): My great, big son. You make me so proud. You’ve

made it. You didn’t let them get you down. You’re not at all like me ... You’re more like

your mother ...

Pause. They look at each other. Finally the son lays his hand on his father’s shoulder.

Son: Come on, let’s get dressed.

They both go away. The room remains empty. The phone rings for a while and then the

answerphone cuts in.

Answerphone: This is the answerphone for (xxxx). Please leave a message.

Lisa: Yeah, hello, it’s me - Lisa ... Are you there?

I just wanted to say ... Somehow it’s all turned to shit. Yeah, everything has somehow ...

Pause.

So … maybe we can talk about it some time ... About everything ... Well ...

Are you there?

I just wanted to say ... The kids miss you ... And I ... Er ... Well ...

58

(she doesn’t really like repeating herself) Maybe we can talk about everything again some

time.

Don’t blame yourself. Nobody could help it. The thing with Phillip ... It’s all somehow …

turned to shit. You don’t have to feel that you’re ... responsible.

Take a break. Go to the lake. Have a rest.

Well …

Pause.

Say hello to your father.

And … Call me …

We’re here … The children and I …

Goodbye. See you.

59