Big Book, page 63

Next, we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom. So, we had to get down to causes and conditions.

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Big Book, page 64

Resentment is the "number one" offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything

else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally

and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is

overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.

Breaking down the word resentment:

Resentment

“re” means “again”, and “sentment” from sentir "to feel or experience"; from the Latin "sentire”. Resentment is re-feeling any old, negative emotion: anger, pain, disappointment, etc… Having an emotional response to something that is not happening in the present moment.

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Step 4 – Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Suggested Reading Assignment:

• Alcoholics Anonymous (The Big Book) - How it Works, Pages 63 - 71

• Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions - Step 4

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Resentment Inventory

Inventory (noun): a complete list

Many people in 12 Step Recovery speak about the 4th step process as a painful, emotional ordeal.

But the word “inventory” just means a complete list, not having emotions tied to the list. The reason

they have such a hard time doing their 4th Step is because they tend to write it our left to right – one

line at a time. When we do this, we can spend so much time on each person or situation that we

end up re-experiencing the resentment. If the inventory process is a painful experience may not

want to complete it, and that can and will lead to relapse. Even if we do manage to finish writing

our 4th Step, if the inventory process is a drag we aren’t likely to want to make it a part of our regular

daily practice as a part of Step 10. This can cause problems for us as we try to build a big, cool life in

recovery. There is a way to approach the inventory that completely avoids this experience.

It’s important to work the Resentment Inventory one column at a time (instead of left to right) so

that we can avoid re-experiencing each resentment. Each page will take approximately 10 minutes

to complete, so if you have 20 minutes to work on your 4th Step, put names in the first column of

two inventory sheets. Then work the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th columns on both sheets. At the end of 20

minutes you’ll have 2 complete pages of inventory. Doing it this way allows us to avoid re-

experiencing each resentment as we work on our 4th step, and it also allows us to see our progress

and gain experience with the entire process every time we sit down to write.

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________________________________________________________________________________ Mechanics of Spirituality © 2017 Chris Gates

Instructions for each Column

First Column: We list people, institutions or principals with whom we are angry.

Questions about the first column:

• Can I put myself in the first column? You can, but you should wait and until you have finished

all 4 inventories. The things you will write about yourself in the second column will inevitably

turn up in the 4th column on other resentments and you will learn more from them by

examining your defects in columns 3, 4 & 5.

• Can someone appear more than once? Of course. Organize the names in whatever way

works best for you.

• How do I know who to put? Before you start, ask your higher power to show you who and

what you need to include, and then list who and whatever comes to mind in the first column.

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PEOPLE - Father (Step) - Mother (Step) - Sisters (Step) - Brothers (Step) - Grandmother/Grandfather - In-Laws - Husbands/Wives - Aunts/Uncles - Clergy - Police - Lawyers - Judges - Doctors - Employer's - Co-Workers - Childhood Friends - Teachers - Girl Friends/Boy Friends

INSTITUTIONS - Marriage - Bible - Church - Religion - Races - Law - Authority - Government - Education System - Correctional System - Mental Health System - Philosophy - Nationality - _______________ - _______________ Also, could be added: - Rehabs

PRINCIPLES - God-Deity - Retribution - Ten Commandments - Jesus Christ - Satan - Death - Life After Death - Heaven - Hell - Sin - Adultery - Golden Rule - Seven Deadly Sins - _______________ - _______________ - _______________ - _______________ - _______________

Mechanics of Spirituality © 2017 Chris Gates

Second Column: On our grudge list we set opposite each name our injuries.

2 things are happening:

• I’m organizing my thinking by writing it down.

• I’m creating an outline for my 5th Step. It’s important to follow the example in the book and write short bullet points. It’s an inventory not a novel! Look at each name in the first column and write bullet points about what the resentment is. You will have time to talk at length about it in Step 5, but for now keep it simple and short.

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Third Column: We asked ourselves why we were angry…

The reason the things in Column 2 affected us is because they are threatening one or more areas in Column 3:

Self Esteem – How I think of myself Emotional Security – General sense of well being Pocketbook – Basic desire for money, property, possessions… Ambition – Our goals, plans and designs for the future Personal Relations – Our relations with other people Sex Relations – Basic drive for sexual intimacy Pride – How I think others see me

So, we look at what we wrote in the second column and ask ourselves, “Did this affect my self-esteem? My emotional security? Pocketbook? Ambitions? Personal or sex relations? My pride?” If so, put a check next to the affected area.

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3 Levels of Spiritual Existence: Dependence - Independence - Interdependence

Dependence is when I am dependent on the world, its people and things going a certain way for my ability to be ok or to feel safe. Everyone in early recovery is in a state of dependence – trying to get our third column needs met by the world.

Don’t be surprised if you check most or all of the items in the Third Column – that’s what being in a state of dependence looks like.

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Fourth Column: My Part Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes.

• How did I put myself in a position to be hurt? - Did I spend time with someone who has hurt me before and let them do it again? Did

I do something wrong and now I’m resentful at someone for telling people?

• How did I use their wrong to justify my wrongs? - Oftentimes we are wronged by others, and then we use their wrongs as justification

for our own behaviors.

• Some things I didn’t have a part in – things that happen in childhood - or trauma, or violence. I didn’t have a part in those things - If I come across something like this I can just put an “X” in the 4th column. - I didn’t have a part, but it may still be affecting my behavior today, so it’s worth

including. I may find current behavior in other resentments, fears or sexual behaviors that I can trace back to it.

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Fifth Column: Character Defects Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, frightened, inconsiderate and unrealistic? Looking at my actions in column 4, were they selfish? dishonest? self-seeking? frightened? inconsiderate? unrealistic? I am just putting check marks next to the defects that I believe caused the actions in the 4th column. These are the exact nature of my wrongs. These are what I will be entirely ready for my Higher Power to remove in Steps 6 & 7. Notes:___________________________________________________________________________

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Other inventories:

Fear Inventory Big Book, page 68 - “We reviewed our fears thoroughly. We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them. “

• The fear inventory is arranged just like the resentment inventory.

• Some people and things may appear on both.

• Mostly it’s for fears I have no resentment associated with.

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The fear inventory helps me examine how my fears are causing me to take ineffective actions. Once I know the exact nature of the wrongs that are driving my actions I can begin to ask my higher power to help me act in a new, more effective way.

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Sex Inventory The sex inventory is here so that we can examine our behavior in this area and look at the things we are trying to get from sex and relationships (in our third column) that don’t actually come from sex or relationships. If we ever want to have successful romantic relationships we have to examine all the ways we think that the act of sex or an intimate relationship will fix our spiritual (3rd column) problems so we can turn to God instead. Notes:___________________________________________________________________________

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Harms Inventory This inventory is a catch-all at the end. It contains things I did that I feel badly about that had no resentment, fear or sex associated with them. Notes:___________________________________________________________________________

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How long does a 4th step take?

4th step math: • 60 items (resentments, fears, sex inventory and harms – way more than you’ll do) • 15 pages (4 per page) • 150 minutes (15 pages x 10 min per page) • 2.5 hours.

For most of you it will take 30 minutes a day for a 7-8.

Mechanics of Spirituality © 2017 Chris Gates