How to Master the Vernacular

to Win the Heart of the Internet

in Order to Tell the Truth about

Information, Life and the Universe

o r

I CAN HAZ WORLD DOMINATIONA . K . A

"It's Not How You Say It,

It's HOW You Say It"

A sneak peak, nay a promise, of something good to come

By Axel Spendrup

T H E S I S S T A T E M E N T

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Every product of our environment becomes a product of the internet. We use it to channel our thoughts, our emotions, our rituals, our lives. Because of this, the products of the internet becomes as diverse as the people that create it. Many products reflect the lives of these individuals, some are results of creative actions, but unfortunately much is nothing more than irrational irrelevance. These irrelevancies often take on the form of memes.

THE TERM MEME WAS COINED BY THE BRITISH EVOLUTIONARY BIOLOGIST RICHARD DAWKINS

IN AN ATTEMPT TO LIKEN CULTURAL PHENOMENA TO GENES

IN THAT THEY BOTH FUNCTION WITH “VARIATION, MUTATION,

COMPETITION AND INHERITANCE”*.*as determined by Wikipedia

An abundance of irrelevance that mutates and competes for survival could lead to collective degradation of culture and intellectualism. However, not all memes are irrelevant. Dawkins defined memes as cultural phenomena, so in their true nature they convey culture. The genetic quality of memes, the virality that drives them toward omnipresence can be used to communicate just about anything.

A campaign created by DDB for WaterIsLife where the hashtag #FirstWorldProblems was communicated by Haitians to contrast their problems against ours.

The prevailing use of the current state of the internet is sharing and sharing as an act of communication is often done to serve a purpose of selling. Apparent or not, every time we share we sell something; be it ourselves, a website or the impending autocratic dictatorship of kittens. Sharing is selling without owning.

Sharing is Caring

However, getting the required viral momentum to sell something successfully

is determined by somewhat obscure factors, some memes seem to come out of

thin air and acquire enough momentum to shift the flow of information. One

thing that many successful memes and online marketing campaigns have in

common is the mastery of the vernacular. If one can master

the vernacular, one can through

interconnectivity sell any idea,

concept, product or value to a virtually

unlimited number of people.

examples of meme vernaculars

(verbal)scientificrappernerdyerhmahgerd17th centuryextremely fucking profanepassive observerkittenhipsteromniawesome

(visual)classic meme typography (Impact, all caps, white with black border, centered)mashuprepetitioncrude line artradial framing of floating headportraituremotivational posters

Although more extensive than this, one part of the system for getting something viral looks something like this:

1. Choose what you want to sell2. Determine the original vernacular3. Find the hard truth behind that thing4. Simplify the truth as much as possible5. Connect the truth to something relatable, popular or nostalgic through creative interconnectivity also known as lateral thinking6. Put that in a new but appropriate vernacular

An example of this is Blendtec, a company who wanted to sell more blenders. The company’s vernacular is that of regular countertop appliances. They wanted to say that their blenders had a 20 Amp, 2400 Watt direct-drive motor capable of blending at extremely high speeds, in other words capable of blending anything. They connected blenders to popular technology because everyone seems obsessed with the newest smartphone. They put that to the test in the vernacular of a crazy scientist. Two hundred million (200.000.000) views later, ‘Will It Blend’ was an internet phenomena.

When the system is in motion, the

genetic quality of memes will ensure

viral momentum.

Used responsibly, this system can raise awareness about important

causes or sell products that

improve people’s lives.

Used irresponsibly, the internet will soon come under the complete control of kittens.

FUCK ART

F.ART

FIN?