The EagleThe Eagle Epiphanytide 2011

The top panel: The Feast of the Purification on February 2nd marks the occasion when Mary and Joseph bring Jesus to the temple “(as it is written in the law of the Lord, ‘Every firstborn male shall be designated as holy to the Lord’), and they offered a sacrifice according to what is stated in the law of the Lord, ‘a pair of turtledoves or two young pigeons’.” (Lk 2:23) The bottom panel: Simeon holding the baby Jesus and praising God that he has seen the Lord’s Messiah.

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Creator God(A paraphrase of the Song of Simeon)

Creator, God, my governor, my guide,you give me leave at last to go

to that great space where even stars do hide,their fire in your more brilliant glow.

I’ve been your servant, still I serve and will,from birth until all ages end,

and then, in peace and love, will I serve still,nor cease when time itself you rend.

You send me forth, each vow and promise kept,according to the prophets’ word.

My eyes, which searched so long,so often wept, are opened now in joy assured.

You’ve brought salvation clear, deliverance sure,to every nation, settled, wild,

for Israel’s glory—hope of rich and pooris God, embodied in a child.

Sr. Sue Elwyn, SSJD

Dear Friends,

On the feast of the Epiphany we used the collect,

Eternal God, who by a star led wise men to the worship of your Son.

Guide by your light the nations of the earth that the whole world may know your glory.

Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (B.A.S. p. 280)

I used to think when I heard or read a prayer that God was the one who was really doing the work, really leading the wise men by a star, and guiding the nations so that all would come to know the light of Christ as I knew it. The prayer would leave me with a warm, glowing feeling that God was taking care of all things and it was good for me to be using the prayer. I don’t know when it was that I came to the realization that what we really need to hear when we pray is what work God is calling us to do. We are the ones who must live so that the glory of God is evident in the way we live, in our actions, in our words, in our thoughts and prayers, so that others may come to know the light of Christ. So God does use our prayers by working on our hearts to open them to the needs of others, to bring the light of Christ to the nations.

As you may remember from the Michaelmas Eagle, sixteen of our Oblates were able to attend the first Oblate Triennial Conference. At that time two Oblates gave presentations: one on monastic vows and Oblate promises, and the other on silence and solitude. One of the articles in this Eagle is on the theme of silence and solitude by our Oblate, Nancy Scott. The Oblates are committed to reading The Oblate Life and Norveen Vest’s Preferring Christ as shared lectio. Another of our oblates, Mary Louise Stewart, wrote the poem “Snow Time (or Time Snow?)” which you will find on the last page. During the coming year the Oblates will also begin working on an Oblate brochure so as to encourage more Oblate vocations, not just for SSJD, but for all the Religious Communities.

Towards the end of the Triennial, Virginia Finlay, Nancy Scott, Carolyn Madeley, and Beulah Walcott renewed their Oblate Promises, while Mary Louise Stewart and Sandy Austin (centre) made their Life Promises as Oblates of SSJD.

Mary Louise Stewart and Sandy Austin make their Life Promises as Oblates to Sr. Elizabeth Ann.

In October, a week after the wonderful celebration of Thanksgiving with over 80 people sitting down together for dinner, the Community rejoiced in Sr. Rhonda’s reception as a Novice of the Sisterhood when she is given her habit. Sr. Rhonda works with the Guest House team and is a delightful addition to the Sisterhood.

In early November my mother, Theda Irene Eckert, died in the infirmary at the Convent with my father Grant at her side. I want to thank all the Associates, Oblates, and friends who sent expressions of sympathy for my family and me at that time. I have found the sympathy from others to be so uplifting and incredibly supportive in my time of bereavement. Thank you.

Later in November, we celebrated the 60th Anniversary of Sr. Helena’s Life Profession on November 16th, the Feast of St. Margaret of Scotland. Sr. Helena entered our Community in 1947 and has worked in many of the Houses of SSJD from Montreal to Edmonton doing a variety of jobs. One of her favourites was being sacristan both at the Convent and at various branch houses. She is now almost completely blind but she has an incredible memory and can quote poetry at the drop of a hat. Until very recently she practised tai chi every day.

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We were delighted that Fr. Freeland could attend this special event. He wheeled Sr. Helena into the refectory and told her about the cake decorated in her honour. She thoroughly enjoyed the day and asked to have a photo taken beside the stained glass window in the Retreat Chapel which has St. John the Divine and St. Margaret of Scotland standing on either side of the risen Christ.

Just before Christmas, Dr. Gerald Hart presented the Sisterhood with 2000 copies of a book he has been working on for some time entitled:

St. John’s Rehab Hospital, 1885 - 2010

The Road to Recovery

As Dr. Hart writes in the preface, “this publication was the result of serendipity.” His friend Dr. Donald Cowan was researching the life of Dr. Vera Peters, Canada’s first woman radiotherapist (i.e. radiation oncologist), and learned that she had interned and lived at St. John’s Hospital on Major Street which was founded by our Sisterhood. Dr. Hart’s daughter Jacki was and is a good friend of mine and that stimulated in Dr. Hart a desire to write a definitive history of the hospitals run by SSJD from 1885 up to the present day. Cowan and Hart began to collaborate on the research and writing, but Cowan had to withdraw from the project due to other responsibilities. This book, full of wonderful photographs, both old and new, is now on sale in our bookroom for $20.00

We have a number of long term guests living at the Convent and about a week before Christmas they gave a little concert for us which was quite delightful.

Many guests joined us both for the Christmas Retreat and for our Christmas Eucharist and dinner. Two days later we celebrated St. John’s Day, our patronal festival, with a number of Associates and Oblates. Two days after that, on December 29th, a wonderful article on our New Year’s Retreat appeared in the Toronto Star. As a result the Guest House was inundated with phone calls from people who wanted to attend the retreat. We received many wonderful comments after the retreat: “I came wounded, hurt, feeling unloved, angry; I go home feeling the Joy of Christmas truly a child of God.” “Even as a non-Christian I felt warmly welcomed and included....Lovely grounds and gentle space here for contemplation, communion and community.”

On January 4th we admitted the Rev. Debra Johnston as a Postulant of SSJD. Debra is a Lutheran Pastor and in keeping with the Waterloo Declaration of full communion between the Anglican Church in Canada and the Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada (ELCIC), Debra will remain a Lutheran in our Anglican community.

The cover of this Eagle highlights the Feast of the Presentation of Jesus in the temple which we celebrate on February 2nd each year together with the birthday of Sr. Constance, who we hope will be celebrating her 107th birthday just before you receive this Eagle. She had her 74th Profession Anniversary on December 21st and continues to enjoy remarkable health and wellness and to remain interested in everything around her. The front page shows the two panels from the Mary Window in our Lady Chapel with Mary and Simeon.

In the season of Epiphany we are called to bring light to others. One of the sayings of the Desert Fathers which I think illustrates this is the following story. “Abba Lot went to see Abba Joseph and said: ‘Abba, as much as I am able I practice a small rule, a little fasting, some prayer and meditation, and remain quiet, and as much as possible I keep my thoughts clean. What else should I do?’ Then the old man stood up and stretched out his hands toward heaven, and his fingers became like ten torches of flame. And he said: ‘If you wish, you can become all flame.’”1 May the light of Christ burn brightly in your hearts to bring the light of Christ to all the world.

Sr. Elizabeth Ann, SSJD

1. Desert Wisdom: Sayings from the Desert Fathers. Translation and Art by Yushi Nomura. Doubleday 1982.

Silence anD SolituDe

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“Silence is golden.” This age-old saying conjures up thoughts of how children were to be seen and not heard. However, I wonder if we missed the real, golden treasure which is the silence that is equally applicable to adults as to children. There is something appealing about silence. It calls to our spirit as “deep calls to deep” (Ps. 42:7).

Silence and solitude are often found together so I will deal with them both. Silence and solitude are not exclusive of our relationships with others for without the former we are shallow, and without relationship we are stagnant. Balance, as St. Benedict reminds us, requires both sides of the equation. Our Western culture, however, conditions us to be comfortable with noise and busyness, but not with silence and solitude.

In past generations, many people would have spent their days working in the fields or in the home where the only other sounds were those of nature or human voices. Without electronic media there were fewer distractions from the voice of conscience and the still, small voice of God. This is not to glamorize the supposed “good old days” or suggest we try to return to them. It is just to reaffirm that one of the costs of our technological advancement is a greater temptation to avoid quietness. While we have broadened our intake of news and information of all kinds, these advantages may come at the expense of our spiritual depth if we do not practice silence and solitude.

Many of us have an addiction to noise. It’s one thing to turn on the TV, CD player, or radio for information or entertainment, but it’s another thing to habitually turn one of these on immediately upon entering a room or starting the car just to have back-ground noise. As it is, we are the most urban, noise-polluted generation ever. We are rarely alone with our own thoughts and God’s voice. As a result, we have an unprecedented need to learn the disciplines of silence and solitude in order to heal and transform both our bodies and our souls.

The discipline of silence is the voluntary and temporary abstention from speaking and from a noisy environment so that certain spiritual goals might be sought. Sometimes silence is observed in order to read, write, or pray. Although there is no outward speaking, there are still internal dialogues with oneself and with God. This can be called “outward silence”. Other times silence is maintained not only outwardly but also inwardly so that God’s voice might be heard more clearly.

Solitude is the spiritual discipline of voluntarily and temporarily withdrawing to privacy for spiritual purposes. The period of solitude may last only a few minutes or for days. As with silence, solitude may be sought in order to participate, without interruption, in other spiritual disciplines, or just to be alone with God.

Of course, it isn’t absolutely necessary to get far away from noise and people in order to hear God speak; otherwise we’d never perceive God’s promptings in the course of everyday life or even in peopled worship services. But there are times to eliminate the voices of the world in order to hear, undistracted, the voice of God.

Unplugging ourselves, at least for some period of time, is one thing we can do to cultivate some silence in our day.

Some ways to startLook at your schedule and mark on your calendar times when silence and solitude would best fit in. Consider these options as possibilities:• rightafteryougetupinthemorning• duringmomentsyouwouldotherwisespend watching TV or playing computer games• commutinginyourcar—turnoffmusicortheradio and enjoy your own thoughts and perceptions• createa“retreatspace”inyourownhome (i.e. a spare room or guest bedroom) • aspartofasoothingbath• inyourowngardenornearbypark• aspartofscheduledbreaksatworkorbetween classes

Respect these times as you would any other appointment.During these times, turn off the phone, ignore e-mails, lock the door, if applicable, and resist the temptation to read or listen to music. Remember: you want to cultivate silence and stillness within to hear the voice of God whose presence is unseen yet more real than any other.

There are many valuable reasons to make time for silence and solitude:

To follow the example of Jesus “And when day came, He departed and went to a lonely place; and the multitudes were searching for Him, and came to Him, and tried to keep Him from going away from them.” (Lk 4:42) Put yourself in Jesus’ sandals for a moment. People are clamouring for your help and have many real needs. You are not able to meet all those needs. Can you ever feel justified in pulling away to be alone? Jesus did. We love to feel wanted. We love the sense of importance that comes from doing something no one else can do. But Jesus did not succumb to those temptations. He knew the importance of disciplining Himself to be alone. To hear the voice of God more clearlyOften God’s still, small voice can only be heard in the silence. It is simply a matter of making ourselves available to hear it. To worship God The worship of God does not always require words, sounds or actions. Sometimes worship consists of a God-focused stillness and hush.

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Worshiping God in silence may occur because your heart is so full that words cannot express your love for God. At other times you may feel just the opposite, so passionless that any words seem hypocritical. Regardless of the state of your emotions, there is always a place for wordless worship.

To express faith in GodThe simple act of silence before the Lord, as opposed to coming in a wordy fret, can be a demonstration of faith in God. “Thy will be done.”

To seek God’s forgiveness and healingThere are times when burdens weigh heavy and we turn to God in solitude and silence for forgiveness and healing, times when God seems to be the only one we can turn to. The words of Jeremiah in Lamentations 3:25-28 might be appropriate: “The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him. It is good that he waits silently for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man that he should bear the yoke in his youth. Let him sit alone and be silent since He has laid it on him. Let him put his mouth in the dust, perhaps there is hope.”

To be physically and spiritually restoredEveryone has a regular need for restoring the resources of both the inward and outward being. It was true even for those who lived most closely with Jesus. After spending themselves in several days of physical and spiritual output, notice the means of replenishment Jesus prescribed for His disciples; “Come away by yourselves to a lonely place and rest a while” (Mk 6:31).

We all need times away from our routine stresses to enjoy the restoration that silence and solitude can provide for our body and soul.

To regain a spiritual perspective There’s no better way to step back and get a more balanced, less worldly perspective on matters than through the disciplines of silence and solitude. It is often only by stepping back that we can see again the larger picture. To seek the will of God Perhaps one of the most common reasons people seek a time of silence and solitude with God, at least on occasion, is to discern God’s will about a matter. Jesus did this in Luke 6:12-13 when deciding whom to choose as the disciples who would travel with Him: “And it was at this time that He went off to the mountain to pray, and He spent the whole night in prayer to God. And when day came, He called His disciples to Him; and chose twelve of them, whom He also named as apostles.”

Although we are often able to discover God’s will in the realm of our daily activity, there are times when God discloses it only in private. To discover it then requires the disciplines of silence and solitude.

To learn control of speechLearning to keep silent for extended periods can help us control our speech at other times.

There is Biblical precedent for disciplined seasons of solitary silence in Ecclesiastes 3:7b which says there is “A time to be silent, and a time to speak”. Learning the discipline of the former can help you develop control in the latter, “for the one who doesn’t know how or when to be silent doesn’t know how or when to speak”. (Don Whitney)

How can the disciplines of silence and solitude teach speech control? When you practice silence and solitude, you find that you don’t need to say many of the things you think you need to say. In silence we learn to rely more on God’s control in situations where we would normally feel compelled to speak, or to speak too much. We find out that God is able to manage situations in which we once thought our input was indispensable. The skills of observation and listening are also sharpened in those who practise silence and solitude so that when they do speak there’s more of a freshness and depth to their words.

Another reason why the disciplines of silence and solitude can be so thoroughly transforming is because they can help us with the other spiritual disciplines. They should normally be a part, for example, of individual Bible reading and prayer. They are a necessary component of private worship. In silence and solitude we can maximize time for learning and journalling. It’s common to practice fasting during times of silence and solitude. But more than anything else, the disciplines of silence and solitude can be so transforming because they provide time to think about life and to listen to God.

Don’t expect each time of silence and solitude to be a landmark occasion in your life. There are not always dramatic results or intense emotions involved. More often than not they are emotionally simple and serene. However, as with all the spiritual disciplines, silence and solitude are valuable. Even if you often end up feeling dry, it is still worth while to make the time.

Nancy Scott, Oblate SSJD

Come away... In this desert time of strengthening and healing, come away and experience an encounter with group spiritual direction. Reflecting on Margret Silf’s Sacred Spaces we will explore the journey, the call and our gifts. This eight-session series will be offered by Mary Lou Gormley, one of our Guest House Spiritual Directors, on Thursday evenings March 3 through May 5, from 6:30 to 8:30 pm at the Convent. Please register early with the Guest House as there are a maximum of 8 participants. A small fee will be charged for each session.

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our lives ofAlthough born in Coronach, Saskatchewan, Sister Beryl and her three brothers lived on a farm nine miles away. To attend the one-room school, over three miles away, they had to walk, take a horse and cart or ride bareback. At 13 Beryl went to Regina to the Qu’Appelle Diocesan School (QDS, run by SSJD) for five years, then began BA studies at Regina College, completing them in Saskatoon at the University of Saskatchewan. Intending further studies she went to England, “ambled about doing various jobs”, returning to teach at QDS in ‘52, and to Toronto in ‘53 for MA studies in English. Hearing about short term missionary work in India (as well as thinking of the Sisterhood), Beryl set off via England where she worked in summer agricultural camps and a UN camp in Austria. She sailed from Southampton to Bombay via the Suez Canal during the Suez crisis in ‘56. After four and a half years teaching in India, she came to the Community, “feeling well-marinated in SSJD” through her times at QDS. “A lot ended but a lot began.” She returned to QDS three more times as a Sister, the last as headmistress andoversawtheclosingoftheschool—a“low-light”forher,butawarethat“toughtimesareimportant to our learning”. A highlight of the Priory at Edmonton was when she and Sr. Jean

were asked “to do something with the poor”. They joined a United Church project in which Sr. Beryl started an adult literacy program that expanded and still exists as “The Learning Centre”. After 13 years Sr. Beryl returned to the Convent, continuing the role of Associate Director, but now for Ontario and the Eastern U.S.; then six years at Maison in St. Lambert, Quebec. Throughall theyears“the friendshipsand relationshipsweregifts—andnow theopportunityofdoingspiritual careat theHospital - a highlight for me”.

Born in Quincy, Massachusetts, Sister Margaret Mary and her family moved to Hantsport, Nova Scotia. Schooling, sports, community and church activities were all part of her early life. After high school, she entered a nursing program in Yarmouth, NS, followed by post-graduate training in psychiatry in Dartmouth. She worked as a nurse in Massachusetts, Niagara Falls, and then returned to nursing in the operating room of the hospital in Windsor, NS, where she took on responsibilities in developing specialty techniques for both the operating and recovery room. In 1967 she went to St. Michael’s Hospital in Toronto to further her education in these techniques, and then returned to Windsor where she was instrumental in the planning for a new hospital building.. Responding to “some inner feeling to do something more”, Margaret Mary attended Dalhousie University taking a Bachelor of Nursing degree program and returned to work at the hospital in Windsor. “It was a time in my life when I was always doing something new, while at the same time still aware of that ‘inner disturbance’ for something more in my life.” The priest at her church suggested that she visit St. John’s Convent in Toronto. This visit brought an inner peace; and she was admitted as a postulant, clothed as a novice in 1981, and

life professed in 1988. She has worked in many areas of the Convent, and in several branch houses; was appointed “Clerk of the Works” during the move from Botham Road; and also spent a period of time as assistant to the Reverend Mother. “I have always said ‘yes’ to anything I’m asked to do. Undergirding everything, and most important to me is my life of prayer. It is the spiritual life, my prayer time, that makes my life complete and able to do what I do.”

Sister Jean and her older brother came from a church-going family in the Congregationalist tradition in Worcester, Massachusetts. Along with singing in the church choir, she began her trumpet study in the high school band. After majoring in bacteriology at the University of Massachusetts, she was committed to two years work with Parke-Davis in Detroit, during which time she was confirmed in the Episcopalian church. The Dean of the cathedral encouraged her to visit SSJD in Toronto. On a subsequent visit, Sr. Aquila asked, “Have you ever considered the religious life, my dear?” to which Jean replied, somewhat shakily, “not until just now, Reverend Mother”. Additional visits confirmed her decision to try the religious life, becoming one of 12 aspirants in September 1960, six of whom became postulants, but Jean was the only onetomakelifevows.“ThiswaswhereIbelonged—IfeltGodwascallingmehere.”Sr.Jeanremembers the long habit, the blue work gowns; counting and packaging altar bread; working withSr.Norainthebursar’soffice;polishingthebigcopperbowlthatwentinthefont—eventhe outside of it that didn’t show, for she was told that. “God and the angels would see it” even if it was hidden. She recalls times at St. Chad’s School in Regina, the Church Home and Cana

PlaceinToronto,thePrioryinEdmontonandMaisoninSt.Lambert,QC,wherevisitstodifferentparishes—sometimestoaddhertrumpettothehymns—werememorable.Whilesacristyworkseemstohavebeenherspecialty,sheparticularlyenjoyedthe closeness of guests in the smaller houses especially. Having loved art since childhood, she finally enjoyed lessons in water colours. Many of her paintings have been sold in the bookroom and others are evident throughout the Guest House.

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love and ServiceSister Wilma lived in Cupar, SK, until age eight when the family moved to Moosomin and then Yorkton where she completed her schooling. She knew SSJD had a school in Regina because “Mom was an Associate and wore her cross on Sundays”. She recalls seeing “three Sisters walking across QDS grounds” (Qu’Appelle Diocesan School), when visiting the Diocesan office with her father, an Anglican priest. Later, Wilma worked in Yorkton, Calgary and Moose Jaw before joining the Bank of Montreal in Regina. While there she became involved in AYPA at St. Paul’s Cathedral and also came to know Sr. Audrey at QDS. “I had no sense whatever of becoming one of them.” Although she appreciated and valued the background from which she came, she said it was chiefly through the Community that her growth and development was challenged, and often pushed beyond what she thought she could do. “My almost 25 years in the bursar’s office may not have been that different from my four years in the bank, but I learned that all work is of equal value if done to the glory of God. My 17 years at the Church Home, were truly valued years and gave me the opportunity to grow in love and concern for others—the privilege of sharing in somany lives.My brief year at the Priory in Edmontongavemeatinyglimpseofwhatitwouldbeliketoworkwiththepoorandmarginalized—mydeepdesireforaslongasIcanremember. In the 12 years I spent at St. John’s Rehab I experienced a different aspect of care than at Cana Place. I presently have a variety of activities which I enjoy and which continue to interest and challenge me.”

Born in Assiniboia, Saskatchewan, Sister Patricia was “baptized by my Lutheran grandfather, attended Presbyterian Mission Band, United Church CGIT (Canadian Girls in Training), Sunday School and church camps, and from pre-school years I wanted to be a missionary”. After nurses training at Moose Jaw General, Patricia attended the University of Saskatchewan for the diploma course in Teaching and Supervision in Schools of Nursing. After two years nursing in the navy she attended the United Church Training School in Toronto. When work overseas was not available she served at a hospital in Hazelton, BC, which included some work with Indian Health. On a European trip with her optometrist father in ’64, they visited Berlin and, in going to East Berlin, experienced the infamous “Checkpoint Charlie”. She also went to Windsor for a polo game, and met the Queen Mother and the Queen. In ’65 Patricia worked in Kent, but “was still aware of something deeply missing in my life”. She took confirmation classes and was confirmed in the Church of England in May ’66. Her father’s declining health brought her back to Saskatchewan, where she decided to make a retreat, as ‘religious life’ and ‘convent’ frequently entered her mind. She told her parents, “I’ve been searching for many years and I feel that I need to pursue this so, in the fall, I will become an aspirant for a month and then a postulant, if it is meant to be”. Meaningful memories that she carries with her are the fun as an aspirant; happiness of working in different houses with the various Sisters; attending the Oxford Conference with Sr. Merle in ’83; experiencing the Whitby exchange program in ’97; being an anointer; and receiving the Associate Diploma in Theology from Thornloe College. “If I hadn’t taken all these ‘stepping stones’ in following God’s call, I would not be here.”

Glasgow, Scotland was the birthplace, home and school beginning for Sister Jessica. Although she was a school drop-out, having left home and school at 16 due to economic challenges, she picked up her schooling later and went on to nursing, a university degree and many additional courses. Coming to Canada in ‘63 she “did all kinds of nursing from public health to pioneering a family planning clinic”, many of which required special studies. Describing herself as a “late bloomer”, she moved from her Church of Scotland roots into the United Church and attended the Centre for Christian Studies. A visit to the Convent suggested by a monk friend, found her “very drawn to the place” and caused her to stay an additional 11 weeks that summer. “It didn’t take long for me to know I was being called to come here.” Sr. Frances Joyce said, “stay close and come often”. The turning point, Jessica realized, had been a course on Christian Holiness that opened for her the monastic tradition; “a whole new life introduced me to sacramental theology. It all became an incredible awakening and couldn’t get enough of me”. On her first desert day, while journalling, she was suddenly aware of being a Christian for years, “and now living theGospelwithpeopleyouwouldn’tnecessarily choose—thegift and thedifficultyofliving and working together”. All her jobs had challenging times when she questioned her vocation: “I don’t want to blow this, I remember crying over the laundry. . . . We have a golden opportunity in this life to look at ourselves every day through the scriptures, retreats, reading, etc. I love doing the chapel and the infirmary (looking after the souls and bodies of the Sisters! Aren’t I privileged!) and with such dedicated help. Maybe I’ll be a late-bloomer in heaven, too.”

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oBeDience?!

“The vow of obedience is grounded in the singleness of purpose with which Jesus lived in order to accomplish the will of the One who sent him. Obedience as promised in the religious life is the offering of our gift of free will to God, that we may contribute to the restoration of all things in Christ. It is the loving and voluntary response of the mature and free creature, making us available to God for God’s glory.”

– Rule of the Sisterhood of St. John the Divine

Obedience is NOT my long suit!! Before I entered SSJD, friends challenged me and said, “You are so stubborn! How are you going to obey?” Frankly, I wasn’t at all sure, myself. However, a month or so after I entered, I looked at all the Sisters in Chapel (and we were more than 30 at that time!) And thought, “No! I am in the right place!”

Why? I had already figured out that there were different varieties of stubbornness and obedience.

Disobedient, stubborn, obstinate, intractable, persistent, unyielding,difficult,notdocile,notamenabletocontrol—allhave subtly different meanings in our wonderfully textured English language! And all of these were present in SSJD in varying degrees, surprisingly capable of enabling each one of us to live together and continue to follow our call to follow our Lord Jesus Christ in a way of life that often seemed impossible, except for the grace given to us to use our wills in obedience for the furthering of the kingdom of God.

No one survives in SSJD or grows into the person God desires,without struggles—both internal and external—asa person gradually moves to a place of understanding that the good of the Community comes from give and take; listening carefully to the words of our Sisters; balancing our needs with the needs of the Community; allowing ourselves to move into areas of work which may seem daunting until we grow into that work. This is a form of obedience that is definitely not servile, weak-kneed, passive or unthinking!

Obedience in a Religious Community means being alert to hearing God’s call in every area of our life, leading us ever onwards in new paths of learning. Obedience means using our brains, understandings, learning to discuss matters intelligently, passionately—presenting the other side thatwebelievein, ifnecessary—thenacceptingtheconsensusof the Community, while still maintaining an inner integrity maintained by prayer that will bring up the matter again in the future if the decision is not working or turns out to be wrong.

Many years ago I read a wonderful little book on the vows of Poverty, Chastity, and Obedience by Fr. L. Patrick Carroll, SJ, entitled To Love, To Share, To Serve. To serve—another facet of obedience—is a reminder that

Jesus came not to be served but to serve. Service cares for the other person and is a good antidote to self-interest in an age that could be called “The ME Age”. Being alert to others’ needs is an important part of obedience which joins us to those, our brothers and sisters in Christ, whom we might not otherwise notice!

Disobedience sometimes is not a bad stance! Disobedience in its positive form is not rebellion and self-interest. Disobedience is necessary when God’s law of love for all is defied, disregarded, and broken. What would have happened if Nazi soldiers had defied Hitler; if people today refused to buy into the hate-filled rhetoric of some people who claim to be Christians; if people refused to obey unjust laws—writtenandunwritten.ThinkalsoofGandhi,Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Jr., Harvey Milk, Fr. Dan Berrigan SJ, and those who persist in working for peace and justice.

Yes, there is a price for positive disobedience; Jesus paid the price in his refusal to obey Jewish law when it ran counter to His Father’s plan for the Jewish people and the world. People have, for centuries, become martyrs when they refused to obey injustice. Today there are many people who disobey in the name of justice and love: for example, Aung San Suu Kyi in Burma; Liu Xiaobo and his wife in China; Mozhdah Jamalzadah, a young, Afghan-Canadian woman who returned recently to Afghanistan to speak openly on TV to women about their rights, and who admits her one desire is to stay alive another day to help women.

Obedience and disobedience both come at a price. Any time I feel disobedience rising up in me I need to ask myself a question: is this simply about ME and what I want? Is the request just and/or necessary for the Community’s sake? What are the consequences for the Community if I say no? Is there something I need to ask about the request which makes it a better thing to do? Is what has just been said to me a request I can accept, or do I have to question it?

Of course, most of the time the answer to a request is an obedient “yes”, but there may be times when it is necessary for my integrity and the integrity of this Community I love when I must question and possibly say “no” until I can see that the issue is agreeing for the sake of Christian love. Obedience is not mindless; it requires the use of heart, mind and soul, informed by prayer, to determine a “yes”, or a “no”. Disobedience also requires the same fusion of prayer, heart, mind and soul that will not allow me to disobey God’s love for all humanity. Thanks be to God!!!!!!

Sr. Anitra, SSJD

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“All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well”

Why am I so attracted to Julian of Norwich, the author of these words, and an anchoress who lived in a small anchorhold attached to the outside of St. Julian’s Church in Norwich in the late 14th/early 15th Century? What could she possibly say that would be meaningful for life in the 21st Century? Yet, the first time I read the Revelation of (Divine) Love in 1997, I was immediately challenged by her writing and her profound understanding of God.

As a young girl Julian had expressed a desire for three rather unusual gifts from God: 1st, to have “a bodily sight” of Jesus’ passion (as Mary Magdalene did) so as to understand the pain he endured; 2nd, to have “a grave sickness, even to the point of death” and to experience “all manner of pains both in body and spirit”; 3rd, to “receive three wounds in my life... the wound of true contrition, the wound of kind compassion, and the wound of willful longing to God.” The first two requests she forgot over time but the third stayed with her continually.

In 1373, she did indeed become extremely ill to the point of death and it was then that she had a series of 16 “showings” or visions and experienced through these visions the passion of Christ. In the first showing, she describes the “red blood trickling down from under the garland (crown of thorns). Hot and freely it fell.” It was so realistic that she almost wished she had not asked for this vision. She wrote later that, in some ways, the first showing encompassed all of them. She writes: “Within this same showing, suddenly the Trinity filled my whole heart full of utmost joy.”

For the Trinity is God, and God is the Trinity. The Trinity is our Maker and Keeper, the Trinity is our everlasting Lover, everlasting joy and bliss, by our Lord Jesus Christ.” (p. 8)

In this same showing she saw that God “is the ground of all that is good and supporting for us. He is our clothing that lovingly wraps and folds us about; it embraces us and closes us all around as it hangs upon us with such tender love; for truly he can never leave us.” (p. 9)

I continue to be amazed at this loving description of the Trinity coming from a woman living in the Middle Ages. Julian experienced the Black Death three times in her life; it was also a time of ruinous taxes to support the Hundred

Years’ War, hungry peasants storming Norwich, and the burning of England’s first heretics on the outskirts of Norwich. Yet for her God was a loving God who assured her that “All shall be well, and all shall be well; and all manner of thing shall be well.”

In the 20 years she spent meditating on the meaning of her visions, she struggled mightily with the concept of sin. In God’s all-foreseeing wisdom, why did he allow sin to exist? Julian came to believe that no matter what people do, it is what they are that is important; and they are very good because God created them. “See I am God. See I am in all thing. See I do all thing. See I never lift my hands off my own works, nor ever shall, without end.” (p. 27)

“Although it may seem to us that we are almost forsaken and cast away for our sins and that we deserve it all, yet our Lord keeps us as his most precious prize always. . . .” (p. 76) She is led to understand that sin is inevitable, and yet there is in us the divine will. We make mistakes, we fail badly but we are not defined by our sinfulness but by God’s unchanging love for us.

Our Soul is loved so preciously by him. . . that it is beyond all human understanding. In truth, no human alive can fathom how much, how sweetly and tenderly, our Maker loves us. (p. 13)

What was even more surprising to me is that Julian understands God to be both mother and father:

As truly as God is our Father, so truly God is our Mother. . . . “It is I: the Power and the Goodness of the Fatherhood. It is I: the Wisdom of the Motherhood. It is I: the Light and the Grace that is all blessed Love.

Perhaps the most challenging and stimulating aspect of Julian’s teaching for me was her conviction that there is noangerorwrathinGod—aconceptthatIthinkmaystillshock many Christians today. She writes: “It is the most impossible thing that can be that God would be angry, for wrath and friendship are two opposites.” She sensed that if God ever became truly angry we would all be destroyed in an instant. As Robert Llewelyn wrote in “Light from a mystic” (The Tablet, Jan. 30/99), “Hell for Julian is not a place to which we may be sent by a wrathful God, but a state in which we shall find ourselves if we do not allow God’s all-compassionate love to quench the wrath within us. For Julian, God’s work is to love the hell out of us.” Sr. Elizabeth, SSJD

All quotations are taken from John Skinner’s translation of Revelation of Divine Love.

For the Gifts and the Calling of God are Irrevocable (Roman 11:29)

In Paul’s letter to the Romans he reminds us of what we have come to know about God and our calling to serve the church and the world God loves. Our response to God continues in our prayer, worship, outreach, education, and pastoral and spiritual care.

Our response to God’s calling is shared by you and our many benefactors. We undertake our mission with the generous prayerful support of more than 900 Associates and Oblates. The many gifts we receive from our donors in Canada and around the world inspire us to continue to meet God’s calling in a world in need of compassion and hope.

We know that our benefactors make sacrifices to fund our work and our Community and we constantly strive to steward those gifts responsibly. We were informed, earlier this year, by CanadaHelps that their fee for administering our donations was increasing to nearly 4% of the value of the donation. In response, we contacted PayPal who offers an online, affordable solution for us to receive gifts securely and effortlessly from donors who find it convenient to support us by donating online. Effective October 1st, 2010, we are pleased to offer this method and we know you’ll find the process smooth, secure and easy to perform.

Also for benefactors that make monthly donations and have made an annual pledge, we are pleased to offer a preauthorized remittance program, or PAR, that is administered by the United Church of Canada. Donating this way is as easy as completing a simple form, which is available from the Development Office or on our website at www.ssjd.ca/g_donate and mailing it along with a void cheque. Many parish churches in Anglican dioceses across Canada have been utilizing this service for years and now we are pleased to offer this convenient method of donating which also became effective October 1st, 2010.

Narrative Budget — We have simplified the Narrative Budget this year from a 12-page booklet to the enclosed 4-page leaflet. We are highlighting just one of our ministries each year so that we can provide you with more information. This year we are focusing on our ministry of hospitality which has always been a part of the Benedictine tradition. On the back you will find the pie charts which show where our money comes from and how it is spent.

Donation Envelopes and Annual Appeal — In October 2010 we included white donation envelopes in our Eagle mailing. Itspurposewassimple—toprovideyou,ourbenefactors,withaconvenientwaytosupportourmissionandministries.Theyalso greatly simplify our procedures and ensure that your gifts are directed to the ministry of your choice. We are planning to place these envelopes in the Eagle again this year.

Each year we are challenged to fund a specific ministry or aspect of our community life. The Annual Fund, which historically appealed for your support of our ministries, has been revised so that we can direct your generous gifts to a particular priority. This will enable you to give knowing the ministry which we have deemed most important this year. You will receive more information about this in the next mailing.

Thank you for your continued financial support and for your prayers. We are truly grateful for the kindness and generosity that we receive daily from our friends and benefactors. Your continued love and support of our Community is remembered daily in our prayers. We trust that God will continue to bless you and our Community as we serve the world that God loves.

Sr. Doreen, SSJD

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news from the Development office

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Women at a crossroads

It was one of those bitter January nights, and I was pacing my flat, partly in an attempt to ignore the wind that was tearing outside my window, and partly to keep myself from flopping on the sofa and succumbing to tears and a bottle of wine. There is something about middle age that brings out the tears, the anxiety, and the pinot grigio. I was struggling with a dilemma about my future, specifically how to reconcile the options before me with a surge of spiritual longing. The incessant to-ing and fro-ing was keeping me awake at night and distracted during the day. “If I could just get away from the chaos of my life and think it through in a quiet place,” I mused. It’s been my experience that when it comes to big decisions solitude is an essential element.

Did such a place even exist without requiring a long plane trip and the unwanted excitement of an exotic locale? I raised a pleading look to God, and slumped down in front of the computer. Suddenly my fingers flew across the keyboard and began tapping out “Anglican convents in Canada” into the search engine. A few mouse clicks later I was perusing the site of the Sisterhood of St. John the Divine, and reading about its Women at a Crossroads program. This four-week course has been offered for 16 years, and is designed specifically for women who want to explore that Inner Voice that draws us toward a spiritual life. That seemed perfect. Even better, the program is held in a convent in non-exotic Toronto.

I filled out the application and mailed it off. Six months later I was ensconced in the Guest House of SSJD with eight other women, all of us ranging in age from 33 to 64, and all of us searching for … well, some of us weren’t quite sure what we were searching for. The only certainty was that we had all hit a turning point in our lives: “crossroads” makes it sound a bit tidy. At times our lives don’t look so much like a crossroads as they do six lanes of Highway 401 screaming past at warp speed. But even if we didn’t come to any big decisions during the program, those of us who had signed up agreed that it would at least allow us to slow down our lives and give us time to pray.

It turned out to be much more than that. From the moment we arrived at SSJD our group was whisked into the warm, protective wings of the Sisters and into their routine and practices. Suddenly, the world of 24-hour news channels, office politics, and Lady Gaga seemed eons away. Instead, our mornings were spent learning about vocations,

new ways to pray, and how to walk a labyrinth. We were given books to read and questions to ponder in the privacy of our rooms or in the wise company of those Sisters who

were assigned as our mentors. Afternoons found us toiling on work projects such as cleaning the library shelves, tending the garden, washing windows, cleaning the basement and sorting old furniture in preparation for the SSJD garage sale. After dinner we did dishes, cleaned the refectory or conducted night rounds in the Guest House. In between classes and work we attended chapel four times a day, and ate our meals in silence. We learned about monastic life, perused the stacks in SSJD’s wonderful libraries, and had informal chats with the

Sisters about life in community. We even had a field trip to Bally Croy (the Sisters’ cottage). Busy? You betcha! But the amazing thing was that everything we did seemed to lead to an illuminating conversation that changed our perception or helped clarify our direction. In those evenings when we resisted the urge to fall into bed early, our group of discerners hung out together and let our laughter ease the tension of our individual quests and our self-imposed isolation. All this might seem like Big Girls Summer Camp or Pre-Nun: 101, but that would discount the seriousness of our intention, the emotional extremes we swung between, the deeply spiritual discussions we had with the Sisters, and the heart-to-heart talks we had with others in our group.

Women at a Crossroads is rigorous, but it is also one of the most enlightening and meaningful programs you will experience. By the time we emerged at the end of the program all of us were changed in some way. Our individual directions were much clearer and we were, I think, more confident about the future. Of course, when you have God and the Sisters walking with you what more could you hope for?

Jane Christmas Participant in Women at a Crossroads program, 2010

Back Row: The women on the Crossroads program. Front Row: The Sisters who were mentors

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Are You at a Crossroads in Your Life?

Are you considering a career change? Are you looking for “something more” in your life?

Do you have a thirst for God? A hunger for prayer? Do you desire to serve God in a new way?

Would you like to experience life in community?

Then you may be interested in attending a free 3½ week program (July 1 - 24, 2011)

to discern where God is calling you. At the same time you will have the opportunity to

experience the life of love, prayer and service in an Anglican religious community of women.

Women who are interested should contact Kelly Clark, The Sisterhood of Saint John the Divine,

St. John’s Convent, 233 Cummer Ave, Toronto, ON M2M 2E8

Phone: 416-226-2201, Ext. 301. Fax: 416-222-4442 Email: convent@ssjd.ca. Website: www.ssjd.ca

Applications for Women at a Crossroads, 2011 must be in by March 31, 2011

Altar LinensAltar linens may be purchased from Sr. Jocelyn, SSJD, at St. John’s House, B.C. All linens are hand-sewn from Irish Linen. Items which may be purchased include Fair Linens, Credence Cloths, Purificators, Lavabo Towels, Baptismal Towels, Fair Veils, Palls on Plexi Glass, Corporals and Sick Communion Sets.

For details, please contact Sr. Jocelyn: jocelyn@ssjd.ca Telephone: 250-920-7787

Fax: 250-920-7709

Taizé Services at the Convent

Join the Sisters at St. John’s Convent on the third Friday of each month, at 5:00 p.m. for a Taizé service.

This meditative service includes prayer, repetitive chants, candlelight and anointing for healing

to focus us on our spiritual journey.

Future dates for Taizé services are:

February 18, 2011; March 18, 2011; April 15, 2011; May 20, 2011; June 17, 2011

Snow Time (or Time Snow?)Flakes of snow fall from the sky to rest in the ground

Each flake is a particle of time passing into history

Time is as fragile and unique as each flake A moment to be valued for its own sake

The ground is white with snow

Time is s p r e a d o u t

before me.

M.L. Stewart, Oblate SSJD

The Houses of the Sisterhood www.ssjd.ca

St. John’s Convent, 233 Cummer Avenue, Toronto, ON M2M 2E8

416-226-2201; Fax: 416-226-2131email: convent@ssjd.ca

St. John’s House, B.C., 3937 St. Peters Road, Victoria, BC V8P 2J9

250-920-7787; Fax: 250-920-7709email: bchouse@ssjd.ca

The Eagle is published several times a year by the Sisterhood of St. John the Divine, St. John’s Convent, Toronto, ON M2M 2E8. An annual donation of $10 to help cover the cost would be greatly appreciated. Please let us know promptly of any changes of address.

The Sisterhood of St. John the Divine is a registered charity. Our charitable donation number is BN 11925 4266 RR0001.