Speedreader

7/30/2019 Speedreader

1/46

Speedreader

an original screenplay by

Doug McClure(Based on an idea by Andy Varner)

Doug [email protected]

PLEASE NOTE:This is an unfinished work based

an idea by Andy Varner. If you f

so compelled, collaboration iscertainly an option.


2/46

FADE IN:

INT./EXT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS - DAY

Urban sprawl stretches before the camera...

Youth hang on the street, dry-roasting on the burntsidewalk... out of work, out of luck.

SUPERIMPOSE: SOMEWHERE IN AMERICA

Urban blight follows, buildings with boarded up windowsabound.

SUPERIMPOSE: NOT TOO LONG AGO...

The poor and homeless dwindle lifelessly along a shabbysidewalk.

SUPERIMPOSE: LIKE A WEEK OR FIVE DAYS AGO

"Closed" signs hang in crumbling neighborhoods.

SUPERIMPOSE: SOMEWHERE ELSE IN AMERICA

A construction site, still and quiet... heavy, tough-guymachinery standing idle; piles of hard work sit nearby,unfinished.

One lone store sits pathetically along an empty, flat prairiehighway. A rusty bike stands in front.

SUPERIMPOSE: A SMALLER AMERICAN TOWN

A car blows past, catching the bike and sending it into lowearth orbit.

SUPERIMPOSE: LIKE, MAYBE THE SIZE OF VALPARAISO OR A LITTLEBIGGER

The location changes to a quiet business district awaitingactivity, but no shoppers. "Out of Business" signs dotwindows.

A motionless mall.

A boarded up factory.

Now, a farm field echoes with lonely emptiness.

SUPERIMPOSE: A RURAL COMMUNITY

Huge, monolithic farm implements sit, rusty and abandoned asweeds blow past.


3/46

2.

SUPERIMPOSE: OK, THAT WAS A FARM

The scene changes to a Mayberry knock-off. A block of storesfeature several "closed" signs in windows. A dog sleeps,motionless, on the sidewalk.

A hand and shovel appear and scoop up the dead animal. Wesee it tossed in the back of a truck reading "Animal Control".

SUPERIMPOSE: ...AND A BAR IN AMARILLO

We catch a brief glimpse two adults engaged in an illicitact.

The screen is partially obstructed.

SUPERIMPOSE: WHOOPS! SORRY. THAT'S AMARILLO...

SUPERIMPOSE: ELSEWHERE ACROSS THE COUNTRY

MONTAGE:

1. Homes with 'for sale' signs

2. Empty parking lots

3. Auto dealership with banner reading "Buy a Car or BURN INHELL!"

4. Empty playground equipment

5. A school building, the front sign reading: Closing early

due too budjet cuts." (Sic)

6. A factory line, quiet, product sitting idle.

7. A row of 'foreclosure' signs

8. A classic, extended family photo at some picnic area.

SUPERIMPOSE: MY FAMILY REUNION FROM '07

The picture flies out.

SUPERIMPOSE: THOUGHT I LOST THAT

9. A National Parks sign stands beside a wooded road. Itreads: "Purple Mountains Majesty Ahead". Tacked over thesign, a placard reading, "Closed until further notice."

SUPERIMPOSE: WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW

10. A majestic valley... A decrepit sign points one way to"Amber Waves of Grain" the other to "The Fruited Plain".The sign falls to the ground and a beaver drags it away.


4/46

3.

SUPERIMPOSE: IS LOVE, SWEET LOVE A HERO!

An American flag, waving proudly.

Two huge eyes burn through the picture, filling the screen.They peer right, left, right.

SUPERIMPOSE: BUT WHAT THEY GOT WAS...

A hand sweeps in, placing a pair of glasses over the eyes.

TITLE: SPEEDREADER

EXT. TIBETAN VILLAGE - NIGHT

A ten year old Tibetan BOY runs up through the streets of arustic, vertical village.

SUPERIMPOSE: TIBET

As he runs, a bad camera angle catches a few crew membersand some obvious back lot buildings.

SUPERIMPOSE: "LOOKS LIKE" IN FRONT OF THE WORD "TIBET."

He finally arrives at a decrepit wooden building. He burstsin the door.

INT. TIBETAN BUILDING - CONTINUOUS

Two old men sit playing some ancient board game as a firecrackles nearby. As the boy traverses the room, OLD MAN ONE

throws a greeting his way in what, we assume, is the Tibetantongue, but is really gibberish.

OLD MAN ONEGrotin meeta purt.

SUBTITLE: "GIBBERISH FOR, 'LET ME DIE IN PEACE, YOU LITTLEFREAK.'"

BOYUgday procatay.

SUBTITLE: "PIG LATIN FOR 'EAT ME.'"

He enters the back room where five old men smoke from ahookah.

They turn to the intruder, puzzled.

The boy bows in respect.

BOY (CONT'D)Trukatay! Trukatay!


5/46

4.

SUBTITLE: "THE PROPHECY! THE PROPHECY!"

OLD MAN TWO responds.

OLD MAN TWOTurkatay?

SUBTITLE: "THE PROPHECY?"

BOYTrukatay.

SUBTITLE: "THE PROPHECY."

OLD MAN THREE speaks.

OLD MAN THREE(under his breath)

Trukatay...

SUBTITLE: "(UNDER HIS BREATH) THE PROPHECY..."

The group turns to one another and murmur in disbelief.

GROUP"Trukatay?" "Trukatay." "Trukatay!"

(etc.)




This goes on a while while the subtitles follow along.

EXT. TIBETAN MOUNTAINSIDE - NIGHT

A messenger ascends a slope. The wind and snow buffet himas he approaches a ancient fortress looking suspiciouslylike the Disney Castle in disrepair.

INT. TIBETAN FORTRESS - NIGHT

The door opens and the MESSENGER enters the chamber. A GUARDstands near the door.

MESSENGER(gibberish)

Oogatu mania skratta maneeky.

SUBTITLE: MORE GIBBERISH FOR "I REALLY ITCH IN MY SKRATTAMANEEKY."


6/46

5.

GUARD(gibberish)

Skratta? Minblish! Stooto caccamanatanaka!

SUBTITLE: "AH... LET'S SEE... LOOSELY, "YOUR SKRATTA, HUH?

SICK! WHY DON'T YOU BATHE ONCE IN A WHILE!

The messenger hurries to an inner chamber. There sits theMASTER, a diminutive Tibetan/Yoda ripoff, meditating. Helooks up.

MASTERYes?

MESSENGEROstumaka tretto masta mon hooctascrem...

MASTERI don't speak gibberish.

MESSENGEROh. Master, the prophecy.

SUBTITLE: "TRUKATAY"

MASTERTrukatay...

SUBTITLE: "THE PROPHECY..."

MASTERIs it possible? Could I live to seehis coming? The years of waiting...the centuries, the generations thathave come and gone, and now... couldI possibly be honored with such ablessing? It is beyond words. Imust prepare... I must...

SUBTITLE: "IS IT POSSIBLE? COULD I LIVE TO SEE HIS COMING?THE YEARS OF WAITING... THE CENTURIES, THE GENERATIONS THATHAVE COME AND GONE, AND NOW... COULD I POSSIBLY BE HONOREDWITH SUCH BLESSING? IT IS BEYOND WORDS. I MUST PREPARE...I MUST SEEK THE FAVOR OF THE GODS. TIME IS SHORT. QUICKLY,PREPARE THE SHRINE! I WILL DEDICATE MYSELF TO PRAYER ANDFASTING. I WILL COVER MY NAKEDNESS WITH TENDER SHOOTS ANDBEAT MY BODY WITH BITTER HERBS, MY FLESH WILL BECOME LIKETHAT OF THE IBEX IN THE THROES OF MATING. MY GROIN WILLQUIVER WITH THE FRUIT OF..."


7/46

6.

The subtitle fills the screen, obscuring the picture andrunning on well beyond the character's words. He's hadenough.

MASTEROK, knock it off!

SUBTITLE: "KNOCK IT OFF"

EXT. WASHINGTON DC - DAY - ESTABLISHING

The camera flies in over Washington, DC. The mall; theWashington Monument; the White House; the Lincoln Memorial;all the usual suspects parade by.

SUPERIMPOSE: PITTSBURGH, PA

EXT. LIBRARY OF CONGRESS - DAY - ESTABLISHING

The Library of Congress stands proudly.

A sign: "THE LIBARRY OF CONGRESS", (sic) fills the screen.NOTE: The extra 'R' has been scratched out and etched betweenthe 'B" and the 'A". Directly above the words on the sign...

SUPERIMPOSE: THE LIBARRY OF CONGRESS (SIC)

The word "Libarry" in the title is scratched and correctedas the sign is.

INT. LIBRARY OF CONGRESS - DAY

We float into the building, across the lobby and into themain reading room where many scholarly types sit doingscholarly things. Some come and go, caught up in thewhirlwind of their own self importance.

As we float through the mass of humanity, the camera bumpsinto a busy BUREAUCRAT.

BUREAUCRATWhat the hell...?

The CAMERAMAN responds.

CAMERAMANSorry.

We plunge down a hallway and focus on an important lookingdoor.

On it, an impressive title: THE LIBARRIAN OF CONGRESS. NOTE:The same etched correction appears on the door.


8/46

7.

INT. OFFICE OF THE LIBRARIAN - DAY

The office: huge, opulent, imposing.

Behind a power desk looms the LIBRARIAN, an abrasive manwhose contempt for those standing before him is lost only on

the densest of humanity.

Before him, queued up, three men and a women stand likecadets. Their uniforms, slightly demeaning somehow, looklike scouting rejects.

LIBRARIAN...as members of this new, elite,task force, you are to perform yourduties with dispatch. You will askno questions. You will report to noone except me. Is that understood?

They all nod.

LIBRARIANGood. Now, daily, each of you willreceive a unique communique from me.You are to read it...

He looks over the four.

LIBRARIAN...you all read, I assume, hmmm?

They all nod.

LIBRARIAN (CONT'D)I think you'll find literacy to beof great interest to me.

(beat)Now, tomorrow, you will receive yourfirst assignment. You are to digestits contents then fulfill one hundredpercent of its minimum dailyrequirements... just like TotalCereal.

He indicates an ad for Total Cereal now appearing in thecorner of the screen showing it's nutritional content.

LIBRARIAN (CONT'D)Are there any questions?

The row, uncomfortable, shuffle but say nothing.

LIBRARIAN (CONT'D)Excellent.

(MORE)


9/46

8.

LIBRARIAN (CONT'D)Each of you will meet, weekly, withme, in a... 'special' debriefingsession. When you appear at theappointed hour, do so with a copiouswritten account of your week's

activities. Is that clear?

They nod.

LIBRARIANNow, once more. To whom will youreport?

CORPS MEMBERSYou.

LIBRARIANWho?

CORPS MEMBERS(louder)

You.

LIBRARIANMe. That is correct, the Liberrianof Congress.

He chuckles a crazed laugh.

LIBRARIAN (CONT'D)Say it!

CORPS MEMEBERS(no one sure)

"Liberrian" "Librarian" "Lib..." ofCongress...

An evil smile unfurls across the dictator's face.

LIBRARIANVery good. Very good...

INT. CORPS LOCKER ROOM - DAY

The group retrieves personal items from lockers in a small,private locker room.

THOMAS, 25, slams a locker, flips a ball cap onto his head,and wonders aloud.

THOMASWhat in the name of the blessed virginMary have we got out butts into?


10/46

9.

MARSHALL, a 'leading man' handsome guy of 22, sits, clueless,on the center bench. While he has the look, he lacks thetestosterone to put any of it into effect.

MARSHALLI don't know.

REYA, 23, an attractive Latino woman, shakes her head andresponds. Meanwhile, OTHER GUY, a nondescript cipher, doesmeaningless activities in the background.

REYAWe gonna find out, I think.

THOMASI'm not breakin' into the Watergatebuilding. Are you?

Reya and Other Guy shake their heads in response.


REYAWell, I'll give it a day or two,but, I don't know if you guysremember, there ain't any other jobsout there. You think that guy's forreal?


THOMASMan, you know less than my congressmanwhen he was under oath.

MARSHALLI've never been asked these questionsbefore...

THOMASHey. I'm Thomas.

He offers a hand.

Marshall responds with a hand.

MARSHALLHi.

Reya does the same.

REYAReya.


11/46

10.

They shake. She acknowledges Other Guy.

REYAHi.

He nods and smiles in return as Thomas also acknowledges his

presence.

THOMASHey.

Other Guy waves then returns to pointless activities.

REYA(to Marshall)

You gotta name?

MARSHALLThree.

REYAAny one in particular you'd like tobe known by?


She and Thomas share a look.

REYAOK...

MARSHALLI've never been...

REYA...asked that question before. Right.

MARSHALL...so I'm not sure...

REYAWell, how 'bout you toss a few outand we'll stab at one?

MARSHALLWell, my given name is Marshall AllenMarshall.

THOMASYour folks named you MarshallMarshall?

MARSHALLI don't know...


12/46

11.

Reya and Thomas give up.

MARSHALLI never knew my parents. I was raisedby my aunt and uncle.

REYAOh. Well, what do they call you?

MARSHALLJeffery. I don't know why.

REYAWhy don't you ask them?

MARSHALLI only have my aunt left. Aunt Penny.She is the most wonderful person Godever smiled upon. When I found out

she was struggling with the rent, Iknew I had to find a job. I justcouldn't bear to see her worry so.I can't let her down.

REYAShe sounds like a great lady. I'lljust call you Marshall. That OK?

MARSHALLLike, is that using my first name orlast name?

THOMASThere's a difference?

MARSHALLWell, yeah, it's like, "Marshall,come over here," or "Marshall. Comeover here."

REYAOK.

THOMASWell, you decide, depending how weuse it. OK?

MARSHALLI guess.

THOMASWhat you think these assignments aregonna be like?


13/46

12.

REYAHell if I know.

MARSHALLI hope they don't involve milk orany milk byproducts.

They look at him.

MARSHALLI'm lactose intolerant.

REYAI don't think you got much to worryabout, Marshall.

Marshall checks a text on his cell.

MARSHALL

Oh, I gotta get outta here. AuntPenny doesn't know where I am. I'llsee you guys tomorrow.

He takes off. Reya watches him go, smiling.

EXT. MARSHALL'S STREET - DAY

Marshall drives through a working class neighborhood. Small,cramped homes line the block.

Suddenly, and completely out of context, a high end homeappears. A beautiful brick wall with a regal wrought iron

gate glide into view.

A sign with the name "Marshall" appears on the gate.

The gate opens and Marshall turns in.

INT. MARSHALL'S HOUSE - DAY

The door opens and Marshall enters the elegant foyer. Hecalls out.

MARSHALLAunt Penny.

He proceeds through dining room and into a kitchen where acook prepares a meal.

MARSHALLAunt Penny.

PENNY (O.S.)Jeffery!


14/46

13.

He doubles back to the dining room.

Aunt Penny comes around from the foyer.

It's PENNY MARSHALL.

PENNY (CONT'D)Where have you been? I haven't beenable to relax all day. The spa wasa complete waste of time and allthrough luncheon I couldn't stopchecking for a text or something...

MARSHALLSorry, Aunt Penny. I shoulda knownyou'd worry. But I gotta surprise.

PENNYNo more Laverne and Shirley

memorabilia.

MARSHALLNo. I got a job.

PENNYOh, how lovely. Your Uncle Buckwould be so happy.

He picks up a framed photo off a side table and stareslovingly at it.

INSERT PHOTO

We see John Candy in a scene from the John Hughes film.

MARSHALLUncle Buck, I'm gonna make you soproud of me.

We flash back in Marshall's memory.

CUT TO:

INT. A CAR - 4 YEARS EARLIER

We see Marshall in the passenger's seat listening avidly toUncle Buck. The car sits, idling, in front of a library.

UNCLE BUCK...and so, you see kid, that's whyGod made Mexicans. Now, get outthere and make me proud of you.

Marshall starts to get out.


15/46

14.

UNCLE BUCKOh, Jeffery, I've just got one lastpiece of cheesy, homespun wisdom toshare with you before I never seeyou again.

MARSHALLWhat is it, Uncle Buck?

UNCLE BUCKOne fish in your pocket is betterthan two in the river, especially ifit's alive and in front, if you knowwhat I mean?

MARSHALLNot really.

UNCLE BUCK

How old are you? Oh, well...

Marshall starts to go again.

UNCLE BUCKOh, by the way, I thought I was dead.

MARSHALLIt's a flashback.

UNCLE BUCKOK. Great. Hey, don't tell youraunt about the fish story, OK? She

never appreciated it.

CUT TO:

INT. MARSHALL'S HOUSE - DAY

He puts the picture down on a table and looks around. He'snow standing in the living room.

MARSHALLI'll make you proud, Uncle Buck, Ipromise, even with bad continuity.

Penny comes around the corner.

PENNYOh, how'd you get in here?

MARSHALLI'm gonna make good at this new job,Aunt Penny.

(MORE)


16/46

15.

MARSHALL (CONT'D)I'm gonna make Uncle Buck proud, andyou're never gonna have to worryabout the rent, ever again.

Penny steps to a wall of French windows and glances out to

the back yard. Beyond the pool, workmen are busy setting upa huge party tent, grills, etc.

PENNYOh, honey, it's sweet of you to worryso, but after the party they'll takeit all away again. It's just a littleextravagance.

MARSHALLI don't care how temporal or fleeting.I'm gonna try my darndest to becomethe man you want me to be.

She thinks about this.

CUT TO:

INT. MEL GIBSON'S HOUSE - DAY

Aunt Penny listens, enraptured, while Mel whimpers, whinesand berates her.


Other Guy stands at his locker as Marshall walks in.

MARSHALLHey, how's it going?

Other Guy nods and Marshall continues to his locker.

He opens it to find a manilla envelope inside with "Week ofOctober 9" printed clearly on the outside.

He opens it and reads.

In walk Reya and Thomas, laughing and a little more friendlywith each other.

THOMASMorning, everyone.

They both acknowledge Other Guy and pass on to their ownlockers.

REYAHey, Marshall. What'cha got there?


17/46

16.

MARSHALLMy day's assignment...

They get out their respective envelopes and read.

THOMAS

Well, this doesn't seem so bad.Breakin' down some displays on thethird floor.

REYAI'm going down to shipping andreceiving, looks like. What did youget?

CUT TO:

INT. A HALL - DAY

Marshall sits, doing his best to milk a cow, while a femaleTOUR GUIDE talks to a group of grade school children.

TOUR GUIDEAnd, inexplicably, the library justopened this exhibit on agriculturalpractices in the early twentiethcentury.

INT. BASEMENT HALLWAY - DAY

A rough hallway looms dark, deserted. The space appearsremote, unused and forgotten like something from Phantom of

the Opera.

An elevator dings its arrival, opens and out steps Marshall,cow in tow.

MARSHALLCome on, Maribell, this way.

He struggles to get her to move. She won't leave theelevator.

He speaks softly to her.

MARSHALLNow, come on. There's nothing to beafraid of. Come on, girl.

She will not budge.

MARSHALL (CONT'D)Let me explain the meaning of thewords "medium rare" to you...


18/46

17.

Suddenly, a SOUND emanates from somewhere, echoing in thegloom.

He turns to look, pauses, then ventures out of the elevator.

MARSHALL (CONT'D)

Wait here.

He glides down the hall. He glances around a corner.

There, the Librarian furtively pulls a door closed as hechecks to make sure nobody sees him. He hurries away.

Marshall tries the door and it opens.

MARSHALL (CONT'D)Conveniently unlocked...

He peeks in. In the gloom he sees a syfy lab. Dr.

Frankenstein might work here.

The sound of a DING from the elevator gets his attention.

He hurries to the elevator only to find it departed, Maribelland all. The numbers above the door indicate it is now on aupper floor.

MARSHALLHmm. That can't be good.

EXT. MARSHALL'S HOUSE - DAY

Aunt Penny lounges pool side. She reads a newspaper. Sheholds it fully open so the headline can be easily read: "CowRuns Rife at Liberry (sic) of Congress".

Marshall opens a large French window and steps outside.

MARSHALLAunt Penny, isn't it a little coolto be pool side, since we've alreadyestablished it's mid October?

PENNYOh, I know, Hun. But where elsecould I hold this newspaper displayingthe headline so clearly.

MARSHALLAunt Penny, I need your advice onsomething.

PENNYIf it has to do with rangling bovine,I can't really help you.


19/46

18.

MARSHALLNo. No. It has to do with somethingI saw today.

PENNYThat was you at my window morning!

MARSHALLWhat are you talking about?

PENNYNothing. Now, what is it, Jeffery?

MARSHALLWell, I stumbled upon somethingquite... foreboding at work today,like something from a syfy movie, alaboratory, filled with paraphernaliathat could, potentially, give a

villain with evil intentions thepower to carry out nefarious schemesagainst mankind.

PENNYSounds like a plot device. But,until my life is threatened by theforces of evil and I'm taken captiveby some insane, power hungry lunatic,I really don't want to be bothered.


Reya and Thomas kiss passionately while Other Guy wastestime at his locker. Marshall enters and pushes past theentangled bodies.

SUPERIMPOSE: TWO STRANGELY UNEVENTFUL WEEKS LATER

MARSHALLExcuse me.

They break from their tryst.

THOMAS(unreasonablyaggressive)

What? I suppose you're jealous?

MARSHALLNo. It's only act one.

The three attend to their lockers, each retrieving theirweek's assignment.

Thomas shows Reya his paper.


20/46

19.

THOMASReya, what's that word there?

She studies it a moment then sounds it out.

REYA

In...cin...er...a...tor. Incinerator,that's one of those furnace things,isn't it?

THOMASYeah, I think. Why's he usin' allthese hard words all of a sudden?The rest of you guys gettin' hardwords?

The others, including Other Guy, nod their agreement.

MARSHALL

Yesterday, I had the word por-cup-ine. Who knew it was one of thoseanimals with the needles stickingout of it.

REYAYou mean a porcupine?

MARSHALLNo. This was spelled por-cup-ine.

He remembers.

CUT TO:

INT. A HALL - YESTERDAY

Several small cages, one with a porcupine, another with aopossum, another with a rat, another with a snake, etc. siton a table.

Marshall, small shovel in hand, tries to scoop the poop outof the porcupine's cage with little luck.

The same tour guide speaks to a different group of children.

TOUR GUIDEAnd today we have a wonderful exhibitentitled "Creepy Little Animals We'edAll Kill but the Greenies Won't LetUs."

He returns to the present.


21/46

20.


MARSHALLAnyway, maybe I'll ask. I got mydebriefing session coming up.


The Librarian sits at his desk. Behind him, huge shelveshouse important looking tomes.

He picks up the phone. Nothing. He puts it down, it beeps,he then picks it up.

LIBRARIANSend him in.

In walks Marshall, report in hand.

LIBRARIANAh, Mr. Marshall. Come in and takea seat.

The only option is a chair placed in front of his desk andslightly to the side.

Marshall sits.

LIBRARIANSo, how have your last two, strangelyuneventful weeks gone?

MARSHALLHow do you know they were strangelyuneventful?

LIBRARIANAh... I must have read it,somewhere... So, tell me, have youhad any... problems with theassignments?

MARSHALLWell, we were all kinda wondering.It seems like the assignments aregetting... harder.

LIBRARIANHarder?

MARSHALLYeah, like, who knows what a por-cup-ine is?


22/46

21.

LIBRARIANAh, you find my instructions a bit...difficult to follow.

MARSHALLThey may be a bit obtuse...

The Librarian reacts like Warden Norton in ShawshankRedemption.

LIBRARIANWhat? What did you say?

MARSHALLObtuse.

LIBRARIANWe'll have us a little book-barbecuein the yard! They'll see the flames

for miles! We'll dance around itlike wild Indians! Do you understandme? Are you catching my drift?

MARSHALLWhat?

LIBRARIANNothing. I'm not sure where thatcame from. Shall we get started?

MARSHALLYeah...

LIBRARIANJust like last time, I want you torelax. That's it. Now, if you would,read your report on this week'sactivities.

Marshall begins reading. The librarian's hand sneaks to abutton hidden behind his desk.

MARSHALLOK. Well, ah, "October twenty-fourth.The new exhibit on animal feces ofthe western hemisphere opened. Iwas assigned to maintain the freshfecal material. I arrived at sevenforty-five and made a quick stop atcustodial services where I picked upa box of rubber gloves, three bottlesof hand sanitizer and a cheesesandwich. I proceeded to the thirdfloor where the exhibit... theexhibit... where...


23/46

22.

As he reads, the librarian pushes the button. A crack appearsin the bookshelf directly in line with Marshall.

Through the crack appears a small ray gun, something akin toa Buck Rogers reject. A beam activates and appears to stunMarshall as he reads, his eyes transfix on the printed page.

Several seconds pass and the beam stops. The gun retreatsinto the wall.

Marshall, mumbling and drooling, sits stuttering andspluttering.

MARSHALL...ma... mee... moomoo... og... buhbuh buh... ne ne ne ne ne neba no nono...

Finally, he shakes his head to clear his thoughts.

MARSHALL...ah... on... on the twenty-eighthI was...

(trying to sound outthe word)

As... asig...ned. I was asig-ned..."Is that the word?

He holds the report out for help.

LIBRARIANDon't worry, Mr. Marshall. That

will be enough. I get the the drift.Thank you very much for your insight.

MARSHALLSo, am I like, finished?

The librarian smiles his evil smile.

LIBRARIANOh, yes. You're finished.

INT. CORPS LOCKER ROOM - AFTERNOON

The four are all present, Other Guy up to his usual tricks.

THOMASSo, he didn't give you any reason?

MARSHALLNo. He just started reciting linesfrom Shawshank Redemption. It wasweird.


24/46

23.

THOMASOh, at the end, when they're allstandin' in his cell, and the warden'slike...

MARSHALL

Hey. Spoiler alert!

THOMASRight. Hey, Reya, come here.

He grabs Reya and they start necking like two high schoolsophomores. He breaks a moment to ask...

THOMASSo, you guys wanta go get a drink,or something?

They all decline.

MARSHALLNo. I'm gonna hang around here abit, do a little snooping into thingsthat could get me in deep doo doo.

(to Other Guy)What about you?

OTHER GUYI got lots to keep me busy righthere.

They're necking again. Without even coming up for air...

THOMASWell, your loss. Maybe some othertime.

They drop to the floor.

INT. BASEMENT HALLWAY - AFTERNOON

The elevator dings its arrival, the doors open, and Marshallglances about. As he steps from the elevator he removes hisfoot from a giant cow pie and shakes off the residue.

He sneaks down the hall to the lab, opens the door, and slipsinside.

INT. LABORATORY - AFTERNOON

He holds a penlight and searches for the wall light switch.He finds two, one labelled "Lights" and the other "CinematicGloom with Inexplicable Light Sources". He picks the secondand the lights respond accordingly.


25/46

24.

He makes his way to a much larger version of the small raygun seen earlier. In fact, it is suspiciously like AuricGoldfinger's Laser. He finds a button labelled "Don't pushthis," and pushes it.

The gun lights up and begins playing Achy Breaky Heart.

Marshall cringes and pushes it again to shut it off.

MARSHALLThat's why...

He notices a filing cabinet. He opens a drawer and searchesthrough files. We see the file headings: House Plans;Insurance Plans; Vacation Plans; Retirement Plans; NefariousPlans.

He pulls the last file and reads. We see the page containsa listing with the heading "My Nefarious Plans."

1. Be cruel to a helpless animal.

2. Reinvest employee retirement account in bad land deal.

3. Stop recycling.

4. Use ray gun behind you to take over country.

5. Vote for Al Franken.

6. Leave all the seats in the women's lavatories up.

Suddenly the lights change and Marshall turns to see the

silhouette of the Librarian looming large in the door frame.He freezes.

The Librarian steps out from behind a large, black cardboardsilhouette and enters the room. He folds the prop.

LIBRARIANI knew this would come in handy.Now, Mr. Marshall, we come to ourinevitable first confrontation.

He begins his slow approach on Marshall.

LIBRARIANI know what you're thinking. You'reyounger, stronger, in better physicalcondition than me... than I... thanme...

He pulls a Chicago Manual of Style from a shelf and flipsthrough it as he approaches.


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LIBRARIAN...than I.

He tosses the manual aside.

MARSHALL

Well, that could be a bit of aproblem... for you, I'd say.

We stay focused on the confident Marshall.

LIBRARIAN (O.S.)Ah. But you didn't factor in...

He now stands with HENCHMAN ONE, HENCHMAN TWO, AND HENCHMANTHREE behind him.

LIBRARIAN (CONT'D)...bad continuity, now did you?

Yes, these are my three henchmen.

CUT TO:

CARTOON INTRO MOCKING MY THREE SONS - CONTINUOUS

We hear the old music, see three bulky feet tapping, and seethe title "My Three Henchmen." The credit "William Frawleyas Bub" rolls through.

OR

INT. WEDDING RECEPTION - YEARS EARLIER

The Librarian stands on a stage singing lead in a doo-wopsong while the three henchmen back him up. A comboaccompanies.

The backdrop reads, "Bucky Finkle and the Three Henchmen."

CUT TO:

INT. LABORATORY - PRESENT

They stand as before.

LIBRARIANNow, do you have any pertinentquestions, comments or homespunwitticisms before we say goodbye?

MARSHALLDo you know the one about the fishin the pocket...


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26.

LIBRARIANEspecially if it's in front. Yes, Iknow that one. Anything else?

MARSHALLCould you explain it to me?

LIBRARIANHow old are you? Is that all?

MARSHALLYour plan will never work. If yougive up recycling, you may get ridof me, but another will come in myplace, then another and another anda thousand like me. Even librarianscan't kill that fast.

LIBRARIAN

OK, so maybe I won't give uprecycling... Is that all you have tosay, because when you're done, I'mgoing to kill you.

MARSHALLNo, actually, I'd now like to readto you now from the Chicago MetroPhone Book.

He picks up a phone book from a shelf and begins reading.

MARSHALL

A.A. Aaronson, A.A. Absolum, A. Aaronsand Sons, A. Abraham, Abbling,Bernard, Abbotts, Adrian; Abbotts,Arlene; Abbotts, Donovan; Abbott,Sebastian ...

LIBRARIANI hate it when they do this. Killhim.

The henchmen pull Ak-47's and blast away at point blank range.A hail storm of bullets completely annihilates the side ofthe room. Ricochets zing off metal and sparks fly everywhere.

Ten seconds and a thousand rounds later they stop. The farwall is completely blown away except for an outline aroundMarshall.

Marshall continues to read, untouched.

MARSHALLAbolone, Amanda; Abomotocs, Alvin;Aboral Motors; Aborrastic, Morris...


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HENCHMAN ONEMaybe our sites need adjusting...

LIBRARIANGet him.

The henchmen attack but Marshall uses all his hackneyed actionhero moves to escape. Finally, the henchmen have him.

LIBRARIANTie him up.

The goons throw him on a table and tie him spread eagle.

LIBRARIANNow, since you've uncovered my littleexperiment, I think it only fittingyou become my first Guinea pig. Youmay be wondering, just what is this

little toy?

He strokes the ray gun lovingly.

MARSHALLI know, already. It plays bad BillyRay Cyrus songs.

LIBRARIANTrue. But only for parties,anniversaries, that sort of thing.No. It is my greatest invention...well, the helicopter ejector seat

was my greatest invention, but thisis my second greatest... myIlliteracy Ray. It will quickly andpainlessly reduce your mental agilityand reading level to that of thetypical W.W.E. fan.

He points the ray gun in Marshall's direction and pushes alarge slider on the side. It's labelled, "Reading Level,"and the gradients along its length marked: "Einstein","Graduate Student", "9th Grade", "5th Grade", "1st Grade","Gender Studies and English Majors", "Professional Athlete","Larry King", "Tree stump".

He sets it down below "Tree Stump" and nods to a henchman atthe controls. The beam fires into the steel table betweenMarshall's legs and begins moving slowly toward his groin.

MARSHALLI suppose you expect me to talk.


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LIBRARIANNo, Mr Marshall, I expect you to...watch Friday Night Smack Down.

The Librarian joins the henchmen at the controls whileMarshall struggles on the table.

MARSHALLBut, you've never fully revealedyour evil plan to me... or anyoneelse that might be listening,especially late comers and thosestuck in the concession line.

LIBRARIANA little exposition, is that whatyou want? It's really quitesimple...really. I've developed theultimate illiteracy weapon.

The ray closes in on Marshall's groin.

MARSHALLYou forget that I read your list ofNefarious Plans. I know where thisis all leading.

LIBRARIANAnd, where is it leading, Mr.Marshall?

MARSHALL

To page thirty, by which point I'llhave to directly oppose your effortsto take over the country with thisevil ray.

The Librarian discusses this quietly with a henchman whileMarshall squirms, the ray just nipping at his pants.

The henchman turns off the ray, just in time.

LIBRARIANSo, somehow, from my meager notesyou've surmised my plan, have you?

MARSHALLYes. By bouncing this ray off mirrorsorbiting in space, you plan todestabilize western currencies sothat, along with the crime syndicatesand tanning salon owners acrossEurope, you can train male models tokill off government officials in

(MORE)


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MARSHALL (CONT'D)Latin America, thereby destroyingconsumer confidence and corneringthe market in frozen orange juice.

LIBRARIAN

No. But let me write that down. Icould use it in a sequel.

He jots it down.

LIBRARIAN (CONT'D)Good. Try this one. When thepresident addresses the joint housesof congress next month, it won'ttake but a few seconds to reducethem all to the intellectualequivalent of Rosie O'Donnell. Fewrealize that the Liberrian of Congress

is thirty-seventh in the line ofsuccession to the White House, rightafter the minority whip's limo driver.So, in one historic moment I willascend to the throne. And who willquestion my authority when I'm theonly one left that can read the menuat state dinners?

MARSHALLYou're insane.

LIBRARIAN

And you're dead. Kill him.

Again the goons blast thousands of rounds at Marshall. Allthey succeed in doing is cutting the ropes that bind him.

LIBRARIANGet your sites fixed! Now, kill himsome other way so I can go watchCupcake Wars.

He goes to the door.

LIBRARIANLet me help set the mood.

He reaches down to, now, a third switch on the wall labelled,"Dramatic Shadows with Strong Rim Light," and flips it. Thelights cooperate.

LIBRARIANAnd now, Mr. Marshall, I must bidyou a Fond Du Lac.


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MARSHALLA what?

LIBRARIANFond Du Lac. It's in Wisconsin. Iown a summer home there. Please

don't remember I said that, in caseit becomes pertinent later on.

He leaves and the four look at each other. They attack.Marshall bumps into the control panel and on comes the ray.

During the fray, the slider gets reset to "Larry King."Henchman One is thrown into the ray's beam and after a secondof agony, falls to the floor. He gets up and starts speakingand sounding like Larry King.

HENCHMAN ONE(as Larry King)

And, now, an interview you've allbeen waiting for. For a long timewe've heard varying accounts of thescandal that rocked baseball. Youall know what I'm talking about, thescandal circulating about the use ofillegal steroids in the locker roomsof some of America's most belovedheroes, men like Mark Maguire, JoseCanseco, Barry Bonds, and Sammy Sosa.Tonight, I'll be tossing soft ballquestions and giggling with one ofthe dumbest, in my opinion anyway,

one of the dumbest members of thiselite fraternity, seven time Cy YoungAward winner, Roger "The Rocket"Clemens.

During this, another bump into the ray gun has reset it to"Professional Athlete". It swings around the room like aloose canon. HENCHMAN TWO gets his turn in the beam andfalls to the floor, supplying Roger Clemens for the interview.

HENCHMAN TWOEvening, Larry.

HENCHMAN ONERoger, let's get right to it. Youever worn a haz-mat suit? I mean,for any reason?

HENCHMAN TWONo. No. Larry, I haven't had thatchance, on the baseball field.


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HENCHMAN ONEJust wondering. I like to get thatquestion out of the way, early on,you know.

HENCHMAN TWO

I understand.

HENCHMAN ONENow, what about "Family Guy?" Youlike to watch that, do you?

HENCHMAN TWOWell, to be honest, I've been knownto watch it. Yeah. I find it...amusing, I guess you'd say. Yeah,amusing.

HENCHMAN ONE

Great. Great. I love a good "FamilyGuy episode." Makes me titter likefive year old girl, you know what Imean?

HENCHMAN TWOWell, Larry, not really. I'm partialto a belly laugh or two. Maybe aguffaw. I feel a little, effeminate,you know, tittering.

HENCHMAN ONESo, may I call you a homophobe, Roger?

During this, another bump to the machine has reset the sliderwell above the "Einstein" level.

Finally, Marshall delivers an iron pipe to the head ofhenchman three. He smashes into the other two and theinterview is over.

Marshall looks over the three, now disposed in a pile. Hepants a moment, and makes for the door. As he hits the doorframe, the beam comes to focus directly on the back of hishead.

He freezes. He shakes. He quakes. He turns. His eyesglaze over. He blinks. He gazes right, left, right. Heplaces his glasses on his face.

He is Speedreader.

INT. MARSHALL'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Marshall lays on the bed, thinking. After a moment he grabsa Spiderman comic book from a large pile and glances at it.


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He opens it. His demeanor changes. That's odd. He flips apage, then another and another. He drops it on the floorand goes to a bookshelf where he retrieves a book.

He flips through it moderately quickly, then smacks it closed.

He picks up another and fans through it faster, then tossesit aside. He grabs another and rifles the pages. Anotherand another.

The door knocks.

PENNYMarshall? Marshall? Are you inthere?

MARSHALLAh, yes Aunt Penny.

PENNYMay I come in?

MARSHALLNo! No. Ah, you're not dressed.

PENNYThat's never stopped me before.

MARSHALLNo. It's just a bad time.

(beat)I'm working out.

He begins banging things.

PENNYOK. Well, I'll be in my trailer ifyou need me.

INT. PATRIOTIC DINER - DAY

The dinner has an obvious "American" theme to it.

Marshall walks in and scans the room. He finds his target,Reya, sitting at a table deep inside. He approaches herquickly.

MARSHALLHi.

REYAOh, hi.

MARSHALLThanks for meeting me.


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REYANo problem. What did you want tosee me for?

MARSHALLWell...

The WAITRESS arrives, pen in hand.

WAITRESSMorning. You all ready to order?

MARSHALLWell, ah, yeah. I think. You havinganything.

REYANo. Just coffee's fine.

Marshall glances at the menu in a split second then tossesit down.

MARSHALLOK, I'll have the All AmericanBreakfast...

The waitress writes.

MARSHALL...but instead of the eggs I'll takea Belgian Waffle, and instead of thetoast, make it an English Muffin,

and, oh, no sausage, Canadian Baconinstead, and add a side of FrenchToast... with Swiss cheese. Thanks.

The waitress stares a moment, then recedes.

REYANow, what's up? Why'd you want tomeet me here?

MARSHALLActually, I wanted to meet atTiffany's, but this will have to do.I just need to warn you aboutsomething.

REYAWhy? What?

MARSHALLAt the liberry... library, thelibrarian, he's an evil arch villain.


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REYAWhat? What are you talking about?

MARSHALLIn the sub basement, he has an evillab where he plots nefarious plans.

REYAI have trouble believing this, but,even so, why are you telling me this?

MARSHALLI have to go away for a while. Youneed to be on your guard. TellThomas, and that other guy.

REYAOn guard? For what?

MARSHALLWell, if for nothing else, make surethe seat is down before you sit.

REYAWhere are you going?

MARSHALLTo fulfill my destiny... And I mightcheck out Cupcake Wars.

EXT. TIBET - NIGHT - ESTABLISHING

A blizzard rages on a Tibetan mountainside.

INT. TIBETAN PUB - NIGHTInside a fiery pub a crowd of men scream and drink wildly.A large, red faced Sherpa sits across a rustic table from ayounger, American female. They each down a shot of whiskeyand return to mortal combat.

The two stare into each other's eyes while the crowd'santicipation intensifies. The REFEREE turns to a huge shelfand selects two ancient books. He places them slowly infront of the two competitors. Pause.

The ref pounds a half empty bottle of vodka on the counterand the two go at it. They read at blinding speed- two orthree pages a second. They push harder and the crowd'sscreams of competitive encouragement grow. Finally, theWOMAN slams the book closed and pounds a delicate fist onthe table. The place explodes.The LOOSER stands... menacing like a cheated gunslinger ata saloon poker table.


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LOOSERChallenge.

The referee nods and slowly picks up one of the books.

REFEREE

Call it.

The challenger thinks a moment.

LOOSERTwo hundred and fifty-six.

The ref turns to page 256. Pause.

REFEREELamont blames his severe commitmentissues on what three story elements?

WOMANHis mother. The accident.

A long, long pause ensues.

WOMANHis cable company.

REFEREECorrect.

Chaos and alcohol flush the room. The party begins.

Suddenly, the door opens and the blizzard pours in. Theroom hitch steps into silence... Speedreader stands like aheavenly visitation inside the portal.

MARSHALLI'm looking for the one they call,"El Loco de Lector."

No one responds.

Something stirs in a corner. Smoke clears. The silencegets, somehow, deeper. The MASTER emerges.

MASTERI am he, though I recently changedmy name to Lindsay Lohan. And youare the one they call, "Speedreader."

They stare into each other's eyes. The magnetic pull of the"competitor's table" draws them closer. They sit.The referee selects two of the largest tomes on the shelf,but a slow shaking of the Master's head delays him.


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The Master arises. He walks to the wall and pulls two verythin paperback volumes from the massive collection. Hedeposits them on the table and returns to his seat. Thetitle, "High School Musical 2" grace their covers.The referee pauses.

REFEREEReady?

The men lock eyes. They mechanically open their books withoutlooking down. Both await the signal.

Bottle meets table.In an instant, both men's eyes meet page. A mere RIFLE ofpaper is heard and their heads come up. Speedreader strikesthe table while the master, apparently at a loss, sitsimpotently.

A smile distorts Speedreader's lips. A moment of greattriumph hovers over his head.

MASTERChallenge.

The smile fades, slightly.

REFEREECall it.

MASTER

Title page.Gravity has its way with Speedreader's face.

REFEREECopyright date?

Silence while the Master taps a meaty finger on the table.

MARSHALLAh...

Greater silence. Speedreader slumps in defeat.

MARSHALL (CONT'D)You have great talent. But talentis not enough. To be the greatest,you must first face your greatestfear.

Speedreader remembers...


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INT. SPORTING GOODS STORE - SEVENTEEN YEARS EARLIER

Six year old Marshall enters with a MAN.

MANCome on, son.

The man approaches a wizened clerk at the counter, butMarshall wanders toward a rack of baseball bats. The mentalk softly.

Marshall reaches out and touches one. A wave of panic overtakes him. He turns, but another rack stands in his way.He pushes another direction, but more bats confront him.

Now they pour from the cave-like door of the back room, flyingeverywhere. He falls to the floor. The world spins.Everything becomes blurred. Noise. He holds his ears. Thebats fly around him like headhunters. The clerk's cacophonous

laughter crescendos. Finally, Marshall flees the store,screaming.

INT. TIBETAN PUB - PRESENTSpeedreader sits. He gulps.

MASTERTomorrow we begin your training.

INT. THE LIBRARIAN'S OFFICE - DAY

Reya sits in the chair while the Librarian encircles her.

LIBRARIANSo, how well do you know thisMarshall?

REYAWell, I don't know. I'm not sureit's any of your business.

LIBRARIANIt is my business. He's been missingnow for several days. What do youknow about that?

REYANothing, really. Maybe he's sick.

LIBRARIANLiar! You know more than you aretelling.


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REYADid you call his house?

LIBRARIANYes. A man named Squiggy answered.

REYAI don't know about that.

LIBRARIANLet me be blunt. I think your friend,Marshall, is up to no good.

REYAOh, come on. He's a library clerk.

LIBRARIANAnd you think someone who works in alibarry can't be dangerous?

REYACan I ask you something?

He nods.

REYA (CONT'D)What holiday falls on February 14th?

LIBRARIANYou mean... Valentimes day?

REYA

That's what I thought...

LIBRARIANAnd I think it's time we take a littletrip.

INT. CORPS LOCKER ROOM - AFTERNOON

Reya, Thomas, and Other Guy are gathering their possessionsfrom their lockers. The Librarian looms over them.

THOMASWhat? So, are we like fired?

LIBRARIANNo, not fired.

THOMASWell, like what, then?

LIBRARIANWe have some... liberry business toattend to... out of state.


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CUSTODIANThere you go.

Marshall enters the dark room and flip on the light. Hegazes about then approaches his locker. He opens it. Empty.

He opens Reya's, then Thomas's. Both empty. He opens OtherGuy's. There he finds a book titled, "How to Be a MovieExtra." He tosses it back and turns around. He seessomething.

MARSHALLAha. Signs of a struggle...

In a corner stand a bunch of signs reading things like:"Struggle This Way"; and "Struggle Begins at 1:00 pm."

He turns and leaves.

INT. BASEMENT HALLWAY - DAY

Marshall leaves the elevator. He makes his way to the labdoor. He tries the door. Locked.

He pulls a book from out of nowhere and we see the title:"Locks and Locksmithing." He rifles the pages, then pulls abobby pin from his hair. In a moment he has the door openand the light on.

He enters. The room is full of boxes. He approaches aFed Ex box. He opens it and pulls out a Wilson volleyball.

MARSHALLLeast it's not someone's legal papers.

He stares at it a moment then stuffs it back in its box.


Marshall stands with a SECRETARY scrutinizing the office.

SECRETARYHe said he was taking a few daysoff.

Marshall walks to the desk and stares a moment. An ideastrikes him.

MARSHALLThanks.

He leaves in a hurry.


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INT. AIRLINER - DAY

Marshall sits squeezed between two huge W.W.E. superstarsMARK HENRY and BIG SHOW.

MARSHALL

(to Big Show)What did you say you two do?

MARK HENRYWe wrestle.

BIG SHOWWhat? You don't like wrestlers?

The CAPTAIN'S voice saves Marshall's life.

We hear him talk to the passengers as well as overhear himtalking to his co-pilot.

CAPTAIN(to passengers)

Ladies and gentlemen, we're currentlycruising at thirty-three thousandfeet and will begin our descent intoChicago in approximately twentyminutes. The current temperature...

(to co-pilot)What? No. Don't touch that. Orthat. Just leave the stuff alone.

(to passengers)Ah, oh yes, the temperature in the

windy city is...(to co-pilot)

Stop it. I'll report you. Justdon't play with... What? It opensthe rear hatch. No, no, no! Justleave it alone.

(to passengers)Um... let's see here. Ah, temperaturesixty-four degrees and...

(to co-pilot)OK! That's it! Now you've done it!How am I supposed to fix that?

The sounds of a struggle can be heard then the mic goes dead.

Marshall struggles to extract himself from his seat.

MARSHALLExcuse me.

After a herculean effort to get around Big Show, he makeshis way to the rear rest room. He sits.


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The explosion comes. He opens the rest room door to findjust himself, the toilet, and a debris field plummeting toearth.

But, he is unphased. He remains sitting. He reaches outand retrieves a laptop computer, hand and arm still attached.

He blandly removes the owner's body parts, opens and bootsit up.

Up comes the desktop where the owner has a "Thought for theDay." Below reads, "Nothing can ruin this sun-shiny day!"

Marshall goes online, checks his facebook page, chuckles,then finds a page titled, "How to Survive a Fall from Thirty-Three Thousand Feet." He quickly scans the page.

He types in something else, glances at the page, then closesthe computer and tosses it aside.

He pulls out his cell phone and makes a call.

MARSHALLYeah. Hi. Ah, I'm gonna need aquick delivery. Can you do that?

(beat)Good. Where? Ah, just a sec. Letme check.

He glances around and conveniently finds a Tom-Tom floatingnearby. He grabs it and flips it on. He waits.

MARSHALL

OK, let's see. That would be41 36' North and 86 43' West.

(beat)Yes. The biggest you've got.

(beat)As soon as possible. Thanks. Seeyou in a few.

He closes the phone. He grabs a floating can of Pepsi andkicks back.

EXT. DESERTED FIELD - DAY

We see a truck with a company name and logo on the side. Itreads, Gil's's Stunt Man Supply and Bait Shop." GIL standsby the truck waiting. One of those huge inflatable landingbags stands nearby.

Suddenly, Marshall appears from nowhere and lands squarelyon the safety device. A shower of other debris rains down.

He hops up.


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MARSHALLThanks.

RANDYNo problem.

Marshall tosses him a few bills and walks away.

EXT. DESERTED HIGHWAY - DAY

Marshall stands along a vast stretch of flat highway. Cornfields reach to the horizon. Across the highway stands aman looking vaguely like Cary Grant. They eye each othersuspiciously.

A bus rolls up and Marshall boards. As he takes his seatand the bus pulls away, we see a crop duster coming out ofnowhere and swooping down on the receding figure.

EXT. A RURAL ROAD - DAY

Marshall thumbs a ride. A panel van pulls up and rolls downits window. We hear the DRIVER without seeing his face.

The side of the van reads, "Kenosha Kickers"

DRIVERNeed a lift?

MARSHALLYeah. Where you headed.

DRIVERSheboygan.

MARSHALLCan you get me anywhere near Fond DuLac.

DRIVERSure. Got a gig in Fond Du Lac.Hop in the back with the boys.

MARSHALLYou know, you look a lot like myuncle.

He climbs in the back of the van and off they go.

EXT. A WOODED ROAD - NIGHT - ESTABLISHING

A pine dense roadway snakes through the trees. A pinnacleof rock projects through the forest. At the summit thesilhouette of a large home can be seen.


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EXT. A WOODED ROAD - NIGHT

Marshall, dressed all in black, sneaks along the roadway.He comes upon a guarded gate leading to the house atop thesummit. Six burly guards with machine guns man the entrance.

Marshall hides in the trees, surveying the situation. Hepulls out a book titled, "Hand to Hand Combat with MultipleBurly Guards," and rifles the pages. He checks out thesituation once more. Change of plan.

He tosses the book aside and pulls out another one titled,"Rock Climbing and Repelling." Again he rifles the pages.This is a better offering.

EXT. SHEAR ROCK WALL - NIGHT

Marshall clings to the rock face as he tries to ascend. Ahand goes here, a foot, there.

EXT. SUMMIT - NIGHT

The plateau of the summit offers some forest and a clearingwhere the house sits. Ninja-like, he makes his way towardthe building.

The house is dark. He tries a door. It gives. He enterscautiously.

He makes his way through a few rooms. He enters a ratherluxurious, contemporary living room. He moves toward a hall.

He walks past a full length, framed mirror. As he does, thereflection mirroring him appears as Harpo Marx in a dressinggown. He stops, turns and cranes his head to check thereflection. He appears normal and so moves on.

He comes across a door labeled "Secret Lair".

Speedreader

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