3,'ew Ideas P~'thol V o l 1, Vol. 't, p p 299 :1(11, 1981 0732-118X/83 $ 3 0 0 + 0 0 0 Printed in Grea t Britain ~) 1983 Pergamon Press Ltd

S P E C U L A T I O N S O N T H E D E V E L O P M E N T O F G E N D E R R O L E C H A R A C T E R I S T I C S

ANNI BERGMAN

224 W 20th Street, New York, NY 10011, U.S.A.

The paper entitled " 'Consistency' and 'contradiction' in the development ot gender role characteristics" raises a number of very interesting questions. Why is it that gender role development rarely seems to go beyond the conventional conformist stage which adheres to gender stereotypes? As the author correctly states, assignment to stereotypic gender roles results in the suppression ot important qualities for both sexes. This is not really adaptive. Why, then, we might ask further, are the sanctions imposed by society for androgyny so severe that by and large people will sacrifice those aspects of their character which do not correspond to that which they have been taught to believe is male or female? I shall discuss briefly some ideas about development of gender identity as I have come to see it based on my psychoanalytic work with patients and my research in psychoanalytically oriented observations of mothers and infants. Thus, I will juxtapose Furby's discussion of external pressures which result in internal structures with observations on intrapsychic internal problems that have to be faced by any child in the struggle to achieve identity and, in particular, gender identity.

The author uses the example of language development to demonstrate that the developing child has a tendency to apply rules rigidly when these rules are first perceived. This stage of randomly applying rules is later followed by a stage in which rules are more flexibly applied. When it comes to gender development, an interesting situation occurs which in some ways is almost a reverse of that described in the development of language. This, I believe, may be one of the roots of the difficulty in reaching more mature development of gender roles. In language development, rules, when they first are perceived, are over applied across the board to be followed by a stage of realization of exceptions; therefore, the need to sharpen one's observations and learn about exceptions. How about the observation of gender differences? At the beginning of the second year of life the child begins to observe the anatomical difference between the sexes and eventually arrives at the rule that boys have penises and girls do not. At a somewhat later age another rule becomes evident, namely, that girls will become women who can have babies inside their bodies whereas boys cannot. The problem with these rules is that there are no exceptions to them. Gender

Commentary on L. Furby (1983) "Consistency" and "contradiction" in the development of gender role characteristics, Vol. 1, No. 3, pp. 285 - 297.

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linked character is t ics develop somewha t la ter and are in par t based on observa t ion by the child of the gender l inked at t i tudes and actions of adults in his or her e n v i r o n m e n t ; for example , that boys should not cry, that only girls should play with dolls, etc. Ear ly on, however , the observa t ion of the rules of ana tomica l difference to which there is no except ion runs coun te r to the o m n i p o t e n t desires of the infant toddler , namely , the desire to create one ' s own rules accord ing to one ' s wishes and needs. It m a y be, then, that the rigidity with which gender characteris t ics are later assigned has one source in its defensive funct ion, namely , as if to say, " I t is not true that I migh t want to be other than I a m . " T h e defensive posit ion can then result in suppress ion of those gender l inked character is t ics which do not cor respond to the more s tereotyped expecta t ions .

W h e n we observe the play of little children at the end of the second and du r ing the third year of life, we can often see them act out the desire to be able to reverse that which is not reversible, namely , gender . T h e r e are m a n y symbol ic ways in which girls act out their desire to have a penis like the boy and in which boys act out their desire to be able to have a baby like the girl. For example , a little boy two and a half years old dur ing an observa t ion put a ball inside his shirt and said that it was a baby . H e gave it a name . It was a boy baby, T h e n he put ano the r ball, a m u c h smaller one, inside his shirt - - a little baby like his y o u n g e r b ro the r who was born when the older child was eighteen mon ths old. H e gave the little b a b y a n a m e also very similar to the one he had given the first one. T h e n he found an e m p t y coffee can. H e said it was his M o m m y and he put it unde r his shirt and then ano the r object which was Daddy . (Note the symbol i sm of the balls as boys and the conta iner as M o m m y . ) W h a t was the little boy act ing out? T h e wish to be like M o m m y - - that is, to be able to p roduce a b a b y f rom his body. This was a t ime when he was very much a t tached to her and did not want her to leave him. There fo re , to be like her, to be her, was also an expression of this wish to have her with h im always. T h e o v e r c o m i n g of omn ipo t ence is one of the most painful and difficult aspects ot separa t ion f rom the mother . In this case we can see omnipo tence t r ans fo rmed into play which is the cons t ruc t ive outlet for its expression. I f the chi ld 's omni- potent play would be in terfered with by the paren ts and if the boy were harshly told he was a boy and could not have a baby or nu r tu re a baby , this would ti)rce h im to suppress his a n d r o g y n o u s feelings and, thus, a rich par t of" himself.

Paren ta l a t t i tudes towards gender of the child start f rom bir th. For example , a m o t h e r of a week-old infant boy was s t ruggl ing with conflict ing feelings and pieces of advice she had been given. T h e issue was whether to feed the baby wheneve r he seemed to want it or to a t t empt to impose a schedule. T h e father, in obse rv ing the m o t h e r ' s struggle, admon i shed her not to make a " s i s s y " out of his son. H e r e we see a father a l ready, at such an early age, impos ing a gender s tereotype and in t imida t ing the m o t he r in her a t t empts to nur ture . Robe r t E m d e [1] in his work on social re ferencing has shown the impor t an t impac t on the y o u n g infant of the m o t h e r ' s facial expression. W e m a y assmne, therefore, that the way in which parents reflect their feelings about the b a b y ' s gender is in some way regis tered by the baby .

Speculations on the development of gender role characteristics 301

Play and fantasy serve the purpose of gender role transcendence. Gender role transcendence, however, also implies a threat not only because of the sanctions of society, but also because it implies a threat to body integrity and body image. The imagined damage to the body perceived by the girl, when she sees the boy has a penis and she does not, easily turns into a feeling of being damaged which eventually can contribute to a sense of ineffectiveness. The fear of losing a treasured part of the body for the boy by imagining to be a girl may contribute to exaggerated feelings of invulnerability and fear of expressing feelings ot communion or intimacy with a woman who is perceived as a threat.

Mature gender identity which does not sacrifice internal correspondence will include for both sexes the fundamentally human tendencies of communion and agency. Reaching of mature gender identity is a developmental process and goes along with the process of reaching mature object relations. Both are an achievement that follows a complex developmental path and depends on many factors. The early mother and f a the r - child relationship during the stages ot separat ion- individuation and the attainment of beginning libidinal object constancy importantly influence the development of the sense of identity [2]. I believe that the groundwork for gender identity is laid during this period as well. The parent 's attitude to the child's gender as well as the relationship they have with each other we assume to be important building blocks of gender identity.

In this brief discussion I hope I have shown that the child comes to live in a social environment whatever that might be with the given of his body self which includes maleness and femaleness and with parental attitudes (which in turn are influenced by the society in which they exist) that surround his incipient awareness of himself as a human being.

REFERENCES

1. Emde N. Toward a psychoanalytic theory of affect. II. Emerging models of emotional development in infancy. In The Course of Life, Vol. 1, Infancy and Early Childhood, pp. 85 - 112. National Institute of Mental Health, Adelphi, Maryland (1980).

2. Mahler S., Pine E. & Bergman A. The Psychological Birth of the Human Infant. Basic Book New York (1975).