Name

Address

'I ' Special Commission of Inquiry into the Drug ce

STATEMENT OF 11June 2019

On 11 June 2019, I, state:

1. This statement made by me accurately sets out the evidence that I would be prepared,

if necessary, to give in court as a witness. The statement is true to the best of my

knowledge and belief.

2. I am 40 years old.

Background

3. I grew up in Western Sydney. I finished school in year ten then worked for a year or

two. After I left that job, I met some people who introduced me to smoking pot. We

also used to drink a little bit. This went on for a couple of years.

4. When I was 19, I met some guys who used heroin and I tried it. I kept trying it and

got addicted. I used heroin on and off until I was about 24. I lived in Kings Cross

during this time and I did whatever I needed to do to support my addiction. I tried

speed and cocaine as well from time to time. At some stages I would go home to live

with my mum and dad and would dry out but then went back to live in Kings Cross

and would use again.

5. When I was 24, I went to see a doctor and was put on methadone which got me off

heroin. I was on a methadone program for about 5 years until I weaned myself of it.

For the next 7 years I didn't use any drugs, except methadone and drinking a bit. I

worked full time in manager positions at Coles and Woolworths.

6. Eventually my mental health ended up getting a bit on top of me. I was sad all the

time and didn't know why. I quit my job as a result of that and I haven't been employed

since.

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7. I saw a family doctor who said I had a bit of depression and anxiety. I wasn't doing

too well and I wanted to not feel sad and depressed all the time. The doctor gave me

anti-depressants and Xanax for anxiety. This wasn't the best as it made me feel a bit

high, so I wanted to get more of that.

8. Eventually I started to feel better, so I went off the anti-depressants. That was a

mistake, and I went back to the one thing I knew would help me feel good, which was

using heroin.

Ice addiction

9. After I started using heroin again a girl I knew was smoking ice and she suggested I

try it.

10. After I tried ice, it snowballed into wanting more and more. I didn't really think about

the addictive properties of ice at the time. I thought heroin was the only physically

addictive drug out there. Even if I had of known it was addictive I still would have tried

it. It made me feel good and helped with the work I was doing at the time. It made

me forget about everything. I wouldn't know if I still had my mental health and anxiety

issues as I felt great on the ice. Heroin is a downer and would make you go to sleep

where ice keeps you awake - I preferred to be awake than asleep. During this time I

got back on the methadone program until a few years ago.

11. In I fell pregnant with my daughter. I stopped using when I found out I was

pregnant but was still using methadone to help with the sickness from heroin

withdrawal. I thought my drug use was over and that things would change. I was

seeing an AOD counsellor at the hospital but that was for methadone use in pregnancy.

Neither the counsellor nor my ante-natal worker at the time suggested counselling or

anything although she knew I was on methadone. I didn't think I needed treatment at

that stage - I didn't know then what I know now about how addiction works. In

hindsight this was a missed opportunity for me to get treatment for the addiction while

I was not using.

12. When I had my daughter she had to go into the nursery for 5 weeks because I had

been on methadone. It was difficult being away from my daughter. I started smoking

ice again occasionally, which then became more regular. Once that happened I don't

think anything would have really helped me - I still didn't think I needed help.

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13. About a year later, my mother passed away from cancer and my relationship with my

family broke down. My partner, daughter and I had to move out of the house. I ran

out of money for methadone and started injecting ice to make me feel better while I

was withdrawing from methadone. My partner, daughter and I ended up homeless

and staying in refuges. We eventually moved in with a dealer because that was the

only option we had. Eventually someone reported us to FACS.

14. In about 2015 my partner was arrested, and the next day FACS arrived and removed

my daughter. That was really hard and I went downhill pretty quickly after that, going

further and further into addiction. I started using more and more escape my feelings

of loneliness, extreme sadness, and hopelessness after my daughter and partner were

taken from me. I had no support, no family, no friends, no one I could go to for help.

I was still living with my dealer at this time so that made it a lot easier for me to access

and I just used and used to numb my pain.

15. FACS said that for me to be able to get my daughter back I would need safe and stable

housing and that my mental health and alcohol and drug issues would need to be dealt

with. FACS said they would help me with my mental health and with housing but

nothing ever came of it. I did a mental health assessment and drug and alcohol

assessment but I didn't hear back from them after that.

16. The first FACS case worker for my daughter came across as very matter of fact and

judgmental and just wanted to get things over and done with. He told me that he

would send me letters and information for support but I never got anything. I had

probably two meetings with that case worker in six months.

17. Six months after my daughter was removed, the final orders were made that she would

be kept in the care of the Minister until she reached 18 years of age with responsibility

delegated to

18. I think FACS could have done more to help me then. I would have jumped at the

chance if the help was provided to address the issues.

Teresa House

19. I first tried to get help myself about a year later, after walking around one night with

nothing to do feeling sorry for myself. I didn't have drugs, I was homeless again, and

I just thought this has to stop.

Signature of Witness

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20. I rang up a homelessness phone line and in 2015 I got accommodation through them

at Teresa House in the city. Teresa House is part of the cana Community and they

help people with mental health issues, homelessness and other issues. They got me

into Gorman House detox unit at St Vincent's in 2015 for a week before I

moved into the Women's House. I finally had somewhere I could live and maybe get

help.

21. I was in the Women's House for several months, probably just under a year. I tried to

get off ice - thinking I couldn't do this to my daughter and wanted to get her back.

The workers at the Women's House helped get me in touch with AOO treatment

services. While I was there I tried Jarrah House rehabilitation service and the Stimulant

Treatment Program at St Vincent's. As it turned out I wasn't really ready for rehab,

and the Stimulant t reatment program wasn't effective for me. They would give me

health support and someone to talk to, but after a while I started using again.

22. I called the FACS case worker up at one point and said I was just in detox and wanting

to go into rehab and he said "Oh, it's a bit late . When he told me this I

remember thinking "what's the point'' and that it probably wouldn't matter what I did;

it was never going to be good enough.

23. My daughter is now years old and is still in out of home care. I have received

documentation that has filed for adoption but I am contesting this. I still

stay in touch with her. After she was removed I saw her 2 times a week, but this has

been reduced over time and now I only see her 4 times a year.

Getting off ice

24. In around 2016, I was told I had to move out of the Women's House as I was

using ice and not staying there regularly.

25. I found out I was pregnant with my son in 2016. I stopped using on my

own after taking the pregnancy test and finding out I was pregnant with my son. Even

though I was not living in the Women's house within cana community I reached out

to - she runs the Women's house - and told her I was pregnant she

immediately offered me support.

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told me FACS would want to know that I was pregnant again and that they would need

to know I am doing something to address my issues. I knew I needed to do something

differently to stay off drugs. There was also violence in that relationship and rehab

was an opportunity for me to get away from that.

27. It doesn't matter how much people are willing to help you. The main thing is you have

to be willing to help yourself. I was at a point in my life before I fell pregnant with my

son where I thought that was it, that I would be involved in drugs and violence for the

rest of my life. There needs to be a lightbulb moment, and for me that was when I fell

pregnant with my son.

28. The social worker told me about Kamira and Kathleen York House in Sydney. I picked

Kamira as I would get to spend more time with my baby there - in Kathleen York

House your child has to go into day care whilst you undertake the programs there.

29. If I couldn't have had my son with me, I don't think I would have gone. It was

important for me to have that attachment. I might have tried an outpatient program

or something instead, but I needed a residential program.

Kamira

30. I waited 5 months to get into Kamira. It was hard - I didn't use but I stayed with my

son's father. At that point the safest option for me was to leave when I had somewhere

safe to go, so I had to wait for the bed to become available in Kamira. I didn't have

any family that I could go to, but I was supported by my social worker and Cana

community at the time.

31. I went into Kamira in 2017. I was 32 weeks pregnant with my son.

32. As soon as I walked into Kamira I felt safe, I felt like I could relax. Kamira took me to

my ante natal appointments and would make sure I was okay. They have a structured

program but it's based on your individual needs. They are very accommodating and I

had a great relationship with my case worker there. I found all the staff were really

non-judgmental and tried to give you the best help they could, I felt like they really

cared.

33. After my son was born I stayed in the Kamira program for another 6 months. They

provide parenting programs and I had a different experience as a mother with son

because I wasn't using. When you are using and trying to parent you are not present

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so it's hard to connect with kids and be there for them emotionally not just physically.

While I was there, Kamira supported me to go to an external mothers group. They

were in the area I was going to move to, so I could stay in touch with them after I left

the program. I also had an opportunity to go out and explore places to help reintegrate

into the community. We would look around and get familiar with places like that.

Kamira also has an outpatient program so after I graduated I still went to groups for

6 months after.

34. I finished the program in 2017.

What helped me

35. There need to be more places like Kamira. The people, the place, the way the program

is tailored for the individual. Being able to understand my addiction, learning what

addiction does to your brain, how it affects your brain helped me to understand why

you can't just stop.

36. There needs to be more residential rehabilitation services for women with children.

When I first applied to Kamira, I expected it might take 2 or 3 months to get in, I didn't

realise it would take 5 months to get in. It was very important to me to be with my

son - I don't think I would have gotten treatment otherwise.

Current situation

37. My son is now almost 2 and I am looking after him full time. It is really hard to let go

after having a child previously removed.

38. I will always have concern about my son's father in Sydney. I assume he is still using

and his mental health isn't the best, but he is not at the forefront of my head.

39. I am living in my very first home that I have in my name - it is weird, but we are

getting there. I am seeing psychologist for anxiety and I can also go back to Kamira

for help and support when needed. I am no longer on methadone and I have luckily

had no mental health issues other than the depression and anxiety I have experienced.

At the moment I am on medication for anxiety but I am otherwise pretty good.

40. Without Kamira, I wouldn't be where I am now. It was worth it because stopping use

is easy, but staying clean is the hard part. I had to learn different ways to deal with

stuff instead of using drugs. I learnt a lot about what drugs do to your brain and why

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you end up the way you did, and why you can't just stop because you have a baby or

because you're being told to stop. The hardest part is going back to the real world. I

thought Kamira would be the hard part, it's when you get out into the world and start

living your life that's the hard part.

41. The hardest part is going back to the real world. I thought Kamira would be the hard

part, it's when you get out into the world and start living your life that's the hard part.

42. 111 probably always need Kamira and I'm glad they will always be there for me. I have

my son and he is the best part of my life now. I also have the support of Cana and

Kamira and I'm also currently involved with Brighter Futures, which is a voluntary

program that offers support help with parenting and anything else I may need

Date

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