Southernology 25 things about the south
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25 Things Y’all Need To Know About The South
Mark MichelsonBorn in Atlanta, Raised Throughout The South
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1. Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's"
is plural possessive.
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2. There are at least 8 distinct Southern dialects and hundreds of distinct
cultures. (Ain’t no place like Louisiana)
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3. Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't
understand you either – but they can tell if you ain’t from ‘round here.
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4. The first Southern statement to creep into
a transplanted Northerner's
vocabulary is the adjective "big ole," as in “big ole” truck or
"big ole" boy.
Most Northerners begin their Southern- influenced dialect this way. All of them are in
denial about it.
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5. The North has double last names,The South has double first names.
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6. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay clear out
of the way.
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7. The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes,The South has fried green ‘mater samiches.
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8. The North has lobsters,The South has crawdads.
Pinch the tails and suck the heads
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9. The North has coffee houses and
diners.The South has Waffle Houses.
Open everywhere 24 hours a day
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10. The North calls soft drinks pop or soda. In the South all soft drinks are referred to
as Co-Cola.
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11. The worlds largest drive-in "The Varsity" serves two miles of hot dogs, a ton of onions, 2,500 pounds of potatoes, 5,000 fried pies and 300 gallons of chili every day
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12. It’s “Cheese Grits”, not “Cheesy Grits”
and they go with just about anything
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13. There are 71 streets in Atlanta with a variant of "Peachtree" in their name.
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14. Marta (our subway) will get you close, but you can’t get from here to there
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15. And if you do take Marta, don’t expect to stand on the street wavin’ at taxi’s and
have them actually stop for you
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16. Atlanta has the busiest airport in the world. Even if you die in the South you will
likely have to change planes in Atlanta.
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17. DELTA is an acronym for Doesn’t Ever Leave The Airport
A.K.A. Delaying Everyone, Lying To All
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18. We are polite to a fault - case in point: When we say “bless her heart” we really
mean “she’s a stupid idiot.”
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19. When a Southern lady accommodates your request with a sweet, sweet ”Sure
thing honey." She really means, “OK bitch."
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20. When someone says “Yes sir” or “Yes ma’am” it doesn’t mean they think you are old
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21. Not all music from the South is country
REM, B-52’s, OutKast, Allman Bros, Widespread Panic, Ray Charles,
John Mayer, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Black Crowes, ZZ Top
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22. Many of the largest brands in the world are from the South
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23. Newt Gingrich is not from Georgia – he was born in Pennsylvania
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24. Not all Southern belles sit under the
shade umbrella on the porch sipping mint
juleps
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25. There are Yankees and Damn Yankees:
Yankees come to visit Damn Yankees come to stay
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All y’all come back now, ya hear!