Someone to Restore Me Copyright ©2013 by A. Micheaux All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, stored or distributed in any form without written permission of the publisher or author. For information regarding permission, write to Anystar Publishing, Attention: Permissions Department, P.O. Box 182067, Arlington, TX 76096 This is a work of fiction. Characters, names, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is purely coincidental and not intended by the author. Published by: Anystar Publishing PO Box 182067 Arlington, TX 76096

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My Pastor, My Friend, My Lover

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PROLOGUE

Diane smiled as the cake mixer roared. She was thrilled to enjoy a visit with her Aunt Kathy while her parents were away on a business trip. To celebrate their return, she decided to bake her mother’s favorite Italian cream cake. As she held the mixer and stared at the creamy filling, she imagined the aroma that would escape from her aunt’s oven as her masterpiece baked.

“Not bad for a twelve-year old,” Kathy, seated in front of the kitchen table, smiled and peered into the bowl.

Diane beamed proudly as she watched the mixer swirl, feeling eager to see her mother’s expression. This was Diane’s first attempt at baking a cake so she knew her mother would be proud. Probably more proud than she felt when Diane won the spelling bee at school last year. Suddenly, Diane heard a loud knock.

“Your parents are early,” Kathy said as she looked at her watch.

“Oh, no,” Diane exclaimed. “The cake isn’t finished.”

The knocking continued louder.

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“Let me check,” Kathy said. “Maybe it’s my neighbor. She said she would visit me today. Be right back.”

Kathy stood and walked into the next room. Diane let the mixer spin a few times before she powered it off. As she listened, she heard a man’s voice that didn’t belong to her father. She breathed a sigh of relief, feeling happy she still had time to finish the cake. Diane walked to the kitchen’s entrance and peeked into the living room. Two police officers stood in the doorway. One spoke quietly to Kathy, and then she appeared horrified as she frantically grabbed her chest.

“No, this can’t be…they can’t be dead…no…!” Kathy cried.

The officer grabbed Kathy to steady her as she staggered.

“I’m sorry. The 18-wheeler crashed into them and caused them to lose control,” the officer said softly.

The other officer glanced in Diane’s direction and he started to walk toward her. Diane’s fingers gripped the cake bowl. She stared at the cake mix and avoided eye contact with the officer. He seemed to approach her in slow motion. My parents are not dead, she repeated enough times into the bowl, trying to think faster than the

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officer walked. When he knelt in front of her, she didn’t look at him. If she ignored him, he couldn’t tell her what she didn’t want to hear.

“Hi,” the officer said, his expression sorrowful.

Diane looked into his eyes and gripped the bowl tighter. This cake belongs to my mother. I refuse to let go of this bowl. The officer’s eyes were kind, but she knew he wasn’t nice. He would tell her something that could ruin the rest of her life. She stopped breathing as she stared at him. His eyes sucked the life from her.

Diane couldn’t blink as she looked over at her aunt. The officer struggled to hold Kathy upright. Diane’s eyes burned as she fought to hold back the tears that tried to form. Kathy’s breaths came in short spurts and she grabbed her chest tighter. The officer grabbed a radio from his belt as he tried to hold Kathy in his arms.

“I need a medic…,” he spoke rapidly into the radio.

Diane felt a hand on her shoulder as the other officer spoke gently.

“Sweetie, there was an accident…,” he begin.

“No!” Diane screamed. She continued to scream louder to drown out the sound of the

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officer’s voice. “This is my mom’s cake!” Diane yelled as

the officer tried to pry the bowl from her fingers.

Diane kicked furiously and cake batter splattered on her and the officer. He held her arms and tried to prevent the mix from flying everywhere. Diane continued kicking and batter cover her face. It choked her as she struggled to breathe. She dug her nails deep into the officer’s arm and hated him for destroying her life.

Blinded by cake batter, she continued to claw and kick the officer. Suddenly, she became dizzy and the floor came toward her. I will never bake another cake. Diane fainted into the officer’s arms.

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CHAPTER 1

“Let’s make a toast,” Ken smiled and faced his guests while holding a raised glass. “This is to celebrate ten years in the business.”

Diane looked around the room at the guests who were dressed in fine attire. Ken arranged the gathering to help celebrate his tenth anniversary as a successful sports agent. Ken smiled at Diane as she stood on the other side of the room and returned his smile. Diane smoothed her knee-length cocktail gown, the perfect accent to her slim figure. The single strand of pearls decorating her neck was the perfect complement to her dress.

Diane watched the crowd follow Ken’s lead as he brought the glass to his lips. Her husband was handsome and maintained a youthful appearance by vigorously working out five days a week. He had a large muscle-toned frame and his presence dominated the room. He was usually the center of attention and his friends admired him.

Ken and Diane met in college, fell in love and decided to get married after dating only seven months. Although Diane hesitated, Ken

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showered her with attention and convinced her he was the perfect man for her. He was her first real boyfriend and she felt lucky to have him. She never forgot the first time she saw him in class. She caught him staring at her several times during the lecture. Later, when she saw him in the school parking lot, he told her fate brought her there. Attractive, charming, muscular—his appearance was captivating. He presented himself with such confidence, Diane was sure he knew she found his charm irresistible.

When Ken asked for Diane’s phone number, she felt so nervous, her hands trembled when she handed it to him. His gaze hypnotized her when he flashed his perfect smile. They started dating soon afterward and six months later, he proposed. Diane wondered if six months was not enough time to consider marriage, but she accepted. Ken filled the void that developed after her father died. She could share things with him she wished she could tell her father.

After Diane earned her English degree, a publishing company located in Georgia offered her a job position. Ken wasn’t thrilled about the offer and wanted them to stay in Louisiana where they had lived since birth. Ultimately, she didn’t accept the offer. When

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Diane became pregnant with Brianna, Ken was proud. He was finally the father he dreamed of becoming. After Isaiah’s birth, Ken was ecstatic and decided he would work harder to provide more for them. He was rewarded for his hard work and could afford to buy a bigger home in an upscale neighborhood. It was a beautiful five-year wedding anniversary gift. Diane loved to bring the kids out to the large gazebo gracing the lawn and some days they sat in it for hours and read or watched ducks swim in their small lake.

It amazed Diane to see how financially well-off they were because they started with little money. They experienced many difficult days when they were afraid they couldn’t provide for the children. Ken always vowed he would become successful. He was determined and it seemed their lives changed overnight. Now, Ken was a successful sports agent with several wealthy clients. As his business grew, he persuaded Diane to quit her editing job and focus on raising their children. She always wanted to return to work and do what she loved, but she didn’t dare mention it to Ken.

Ken walked to stand beside Diane and placed a kiss on her cheek. “Are you having a

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good time?” Diane smiled with admiration. “I always

do,” she said and raised her glass. “To the best sports agent in Louisiana.”

Ken lightly clicked his glass against Diane’s as Tom Wilson, Ken’s former partner, joined them. Diane almost froze with her glass raised in midair. The last party Tom attended, his flirtatious behavior with Diane provoked Ken into arguing with her after Tom left.

“Well, Mr. Cross,” Tom said. “Ten years puts you in the big leagues.”

Ken smiled as he grabbed Tom’s hand and gave it a firm shake.

“How are you, Tom?” Ken asked. “Not as good as you are. I always knew

you would make it big,” Tom laughed. Ken turned to Diane. “You remember my

wife.” “Wow, yes I do,” Tom said. He stepped

back and gave Diane a mischievous look as his mouth dropped open and he appeared mesmerized. “I forgot how pretty she is and she definitely has been working out. Her dress is fabulous.”

Ken and Diane locked eyes as Tom kissed her on the cheek. Diane tried to turn her head away and gave Tom a look of

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disapproval. Either he didn’t notice or he didn’t care because he continued with his attempt to kiss her other cheek. Ken’s eyes showed flashes of anger so Diane quickly pulled back. Her throat went dry and she swallowed hard.

“I’ll go upstairs to see if the kids are asleep,” Diane said nervously and forced a smile.

“Good idea,” Ken said a bit too quickly. Diane noted the tension in his tone.

The men watched Diane walk away. She felt Ken’s eyes piercing the back of her head.

“You’re a lucky man,” Tom smiled and nodded his head approvingly.

“Yes, I am,” Ken answered absently. Diane tried to keep her feet in step as she

worked to regain her composure. She had seen a side of Ken no one else had, a side so dark it frightened her when it surfaced. It started right after Brianna’s birth. As Ken became busier at work, he suffered from stress and was enraged when he returned home. He also accused Diane of showing Brianna more attention than she showed him. Diane found it difficult to spend time with Brianna without Ken reacting jealously. Diane convinced herself Ken was adjusting to their new marriage and he would improve as

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time passed. He didn’t. Diane showed Brianna affection when Ken

wasn’t present as not to upset him. One day, after Brianna and Diane took Mother’s Day photos at Brianna’s daycare, Ken became furious and accused her of eliminating him on purpose. It was the first time he hit her and she never forgot that day. Diane never saw his rage or the slap coming. She saw his rage building up to this, but she ignored the warning signs because she never thought he would ever hit her. The slap came so hard it knocked her to the floor. It would be the first of many. The man she loved and knew so intimately, stood over her and showed so much rage she almost didn’t recognize him.

Every voice inside her head told her to leave him and that his anger would only get worse. Nevertheless, she ignored the voices and decided to stay after he fell into her arms, crying and begging her for forgiveness. Diane had faith the sweet and gentle boy, who she met in the school parking lot, would return. Each day after his slap, Ken became more jealous and abusive. She tried her best to do everything she imagined a dutiful wife should do. All her efforts were in vain because nothing mattered when he was angry.

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After each act of rage, hours later Ken became like a scared young boy and begged Diane not to leave him. He showered her with roses while crying and promising never to hit her again. During those moments, he convinced her he loved her and she knew the next time would be different—she was wrong. Once she trusted him again, his rage escalated and if she threatened to leave him, he threatened her worse.

Diane believed Isaiah’s birth would change things. Ken was proud to have a son and became so loving, he convinced her she had seen the last of his angry outbursts. Those happy times lasted only a few months until the abuse started again.

Diane walked into Brianna’s bedroom to find the kids’ nanny, Martha, sitting in a rocking chair. Martha gently placed a finger to her lips as Diane entered. Martha was not only a wonderful nanny, she was also a good friend to Diane.

“How is it going?” Diane smiled. “She just fell asleep,” Martha whispered.

“Surprisingly, Isaiah fell asleep earlier.” Diane tiptoed to the bed and smiled at

Brianna. Even at the age of nine, she reflected Diane’s features. Martha and Diane exited the room and entered the hallway

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where Diane placed money in her hand. “Thank you,” Martha smiled. “No,” Diane smiled as she hugged her.

“Thank you.” “I’ll head home,” Martha said. “Okay, I’ll check on Isaiah. You have a

good night.” “Okay, you too,” Martha said before she

walked away. Diane turned and walked into Isaiah’s

bedroom. She smiled when she saw him cuddled against one of his favorite stuffed animals. Animals fascinated him so Diane decorated his room with pictures of every animal he loved. Any seven-year-old would love his room. Diane was amazed at how similar his features were to Ken’s. His hair color, his eyes, even his smile was so much like his father’s. She leaned, kissed him softly on the cheek, exited the room and gently closed the door behind her.

Diane could no longer hear the guests talking. She knew some had left so she went into the bedroom to prepare for bed. She wanted to get into bed early to avoid facing Ken. She turned to stare at her reflection in the mirror above her dresser. Her eyes were once happy. Nowadays, they looked distant and stressed. The only time they came alive

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was when she spent time with her children. A tiny smile crept to her face as she glanced at a homemade card standing on the dresser. Using a crayon, Isaiah drew a family portrait of them holding hands. Diane told him she placed it where she could see it every day because it made her smile.

Diane heard the bedroom door open behind her. She didn’t turn around because she knew it was Ken. Instead, she nervously picked up a hairbrush and slowly slid it through her hair.

“Did Martha leave?” Ken asked quietly. “Yes, she is a big help,” Diane said, trying

to hide her nervousness. “Did you enjoy the party?”

She swallowed and her palms sweat. She kept her back to him and her eyes focused on the mirror.

Keep him talking so he’ll forget about Tom.

“Yes, I enjoyed the party, but I think you enjoyed it more,” Ken said sarcastically.

Diane heard the change in his tone and tried to ignore her rapid heartbeat.

“It was a great gesture for your friends to come out and celebrate with you,” she said, trying to speak in a light tone and prevent her voice from shaking.

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Diane placed the brush on the dresser as Ken stepped closer to her. She turned to face him and before she saw it coming, she felt the hard slap against her eye, so hard it felt like a punch. She grabbed the dresser to keep from falling as Ken stood over her angrily.

“Did you enjoy Tom flirting with you!” he yelled fiercely.

“Ken, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” she cried.

“Did you wear that dress to attract every man in the room?” Ken demanded as he stepped closer to her. “Why did Tom kiss you?”

“He was only saying hello!” Diane cried as her eyes filled with tears.

Ken flashed a look of discontent and balled his fists.

“Is there something going on?” he demanded viciously.

“You’re being ridiculous!” she yelled. Ken brushed past Diane to grab his keys

off a nightstand. She jumped to grab his arm.

“Where are you going?” she demanded. “Out,” he answered bluntly. When Ken was angry, he usually stormed

from the house and returned the next

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morning without an explanation. If Diane persisted in questioning him, Ken retaliated. She felt a spark of anger as her eye burned, still feeling the impact of his hit. She knew tonight would be a repeat of previous nights.

“I may not be here when you get back,” she spat out, her tone dripped with sarcasm.

Diane immediately regretted her words when Ken glared at her. His expression showed he would make her pay for those words. Ken jumped at her and grabbed her neck as she struggled to gasp small amounts of air. He threw her on the floor, still clutching her neck.

“Are you threatening to leave me again?” Ken demanded.

Diane’s eyes were wide with fear as the air became tighter. If Ken didn’t release her soon, she was sure she would faint.

“Are you seeing someone else?” His face displayed a twisted expression. “I think you’re looking for an excuse to meet Tom!”

Diane couldn’t speak or breathe as his finger pressed against her windpipe. She tried to shake her head, but could only plead with her eyes. Ken raised his fist and she closed her eyes, knowing this time the pain would be bad.

“Daddy, what’s wrong with Mommy?”

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Isaiah! Ken turned to face Isaiah who stood in the doorway. He rubbed his eyes and appeared disoriented. Ken released Diane’s neck and stood to his feet, leaving Diane gasping for air.

“Why are you out of bed, little man?” Ken said and knelt to face Isaiah. “Nothing is wrong. Your mommy had too much to drink at the party and she fell.”

Ken pointed an accusing finger at Diane. “That’s why I never want you to drink. I

don’t want you to turn out like her.” Isaiah rested his head on Ken’s shoulder

and his innocent eyes fell on Diane. They shared a sad look as Diane held her neck. Guilt struck her chest when Ken took Isaiah’s hand and led him away. Diane curled into a fetal position and cried uncontrollably. She remembered the sad and regretful look in Isaiah’s eyes. His stare was a haunting memory. Diane tried to shield the children from Ken’s violence, but lately Ken’s rage escalated. He didn’t care if he argued in their presence.

Diane stood and slowly made her way to the bathroom. Staring into the bathroom cabinet, her vision blurred and depression overwhelmed her. She remembered times when things between her and Ken were

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good. Moments like this superseded all the good. She slowly removed a bottle of pills from the cabinet and cradled them in her hands. Her feet had their own mind as they carried her to the tub she filled with water as hot as she could stand it.

She eased into the water, squeezed the bottle and closed her eyes. She sank deep into the water until it covered her entire body. Tears dripped slowly from her eyes as she thought about the years she felt she had wasted. All the time she could never get back.

She thought about the novel she wanted to write, but Ken was against her writing. It was her favorite pastime and since she always wanted to write a novel, several years ago she started working on a manuscript. Her dream of finishing the novel was short-lived because Ken always started an argument to convince her writing was a waste of her time. He even threw away the journal she had written in since she was a young girl. Diane took extra precautionary measures to hide her new one from him. She consistently changed her hiding places to areas she knew he never looked.

She held back the urge to scream. She wanted to scream at the world and at Ken.

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She even wanted to scream at God. During the last church service, the preacher said God is always there and rewards good and faithful people. Diane doubted this. She had never treated anyone so badly that she deserved to have Ken treat her like this. If God is real, why doesn’t he rescue me? Diane needed a way of escape. She looked at the bottle. I can’t take this anymore. Maybe I’m better off dead than living like this. She couldn’t stop her hands from shaking as she poured the pills into them. I need to sleep. I want to leave this pain. Her eyes were blurry with tears.

You’re nothing. She heard Ken’s voice ringing in her ears as she stared at the pills. They were small, yet they could do so much damage. These pills could take her away from all this pain.

Daddy, what’s wrong with Mommy? She heard Isaiah’s voice in her thoughts.

Her children! Diane wrapped her arms around herself protectively and cried uncontrollably. God, please help me. How could I think to leave someone so precious? Using all her strength, she threw the pills against the wall and cried.

She never considered retaliating against Ken, but anger overcame her and invaded

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her soul. Sinking deeper into the water, she felt her eye swell. A feeling crept into her heart she had never felt for Ken—hate.