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Roel S. Tolentino, MD, MBA, FPCS, FACS, FPSGS, FPSO, FMOSP

Surgical OncologistProfessor of Surgery Level IV

Personality, Leadership and Business Coach

Past President - Philippine Society of Oncology

Solving Relationship Problems : Understanding personalities and Love Languages

Objectives

At the end of the lecture, the audience

will be aware on the four personalities and five love languages.

will be encouraged to use this knowledge to reduce relationship problems.

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Personality Profile(Temperaments)

WHAT ARE TEMPERAMENTS?

Temperament

• The combination of mental, physical, and emotional traits of a person; natural predisposition.

The combination of observable and typical personality traits

of an individual, including:• Communication style• Behavior• Attitudes• Values• Talents

Temperament

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Me My partner/friend

Personality

Language

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Me My partner/friend

Personality

Language

There are five languages of love

Words of Affirmation

Quality Time

Receiving Gifts

Acts of Service

Physical Touch

First language: Words of Affirmation

These are compliments or words of appreciation.

Also included are words of encouragement.

The tone of your voice matters. Keep it kind!

If asking for something, make it a request, not a demand.

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Ang pogi mo naman!

Second language: Quality Time

It is spending time with each other, without being distracted by other things around you.

You are both doing an activity you enjoy (or one enjoys and the other is willing to do), to be together, and the focus is not on the activity as much as it is on being together.

Second language: Quality Time

Know your spouse by talking with each other. “What do you think about…..”

No interrupting, no giving advice.

Listen to what they are saying and respond kindly to it!

Be willing to share your feelings, wishes, and dreams.

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Where na u?

Third language: Receiving Gifts

A gift is a visual symbol of the love you have for the other.

The cost of the gift does not matter, as much as the thought and effort put into giving the gift.

Gifts may be homemade, bought, or found.

Third language: Receiving Gifts

A single flower given a dozen times will have more meaning than a dozen roses given one time.

Love is a difficult emotion to express, and a gift is a visual symbol of that love.

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Fourth language: Acts of Service

Acts of service is love expressed by actions.

You put thought, time, energy, and effort into deciding what would please your spouse the most.

Love this way may be shown as helping with various chores.

Fourth language: Acts of Service

It takes time and effort to decide what specific actions would mean the most to your spouse.

What is important to one is not important to another.

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Fifth language: Physical Touch

No, it’s not just about sex.

It may include hugs, holding hands, a brief touch to one’s shoulder, or a brief kiss before leaving home.

Fifth language: Physical Touch

We all have a need to have physical touch in

our lives, from the time we are infants.

People who express love in this way have a

greater need than others.

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Me My partner/friend

Personality

Language