Interpersonal Interpersonal Attraction:Attraction:

Who likes whom and why?

What situational factors promote liking?What personal factors promote liking?

Are there universal features of attractiveness?

Are there sex differences in attraction?How do men and women get others to like

them?

Sources of AttractionSources of Attraction

Propinquity

Similarity

Reciprocity of Liking

Physical Characteristics

Bodily Arousal

Non-Verbal Behavior

PropinquityPropinquity

The Propinquity Effect The more we see and interact with people, the more

likely they are to become our friends Dormitories, classrooms, neighborhoods, etc.

Explanations of Propinquity Effect Availability and Propinquity Anticipating Interaction The Mere Exposure Effect

Similarity and AttractionSimilarity and Attraction

Similarity with respect to many things Personality, Attitudes, Appearance, Demographics

Reasons for similarity-attraction: People who are similar validate our own self-worth

Similarity makes it easier to “synchronize” our thoughts, attitudes, moods, desires

We assume that people who disagree with us have negative personality traits (“Dissimilarity-Repulsion”)

Wide range of application Friends and mates

Politicians and pets

Reciprocity of LikingReciprocity of Liking

• We like others if we believe they like us• Based on perceived liking, not necessarily actual

liking

• Explanations:• Reinforcement

• Liking and positive affect are rewarding• Social Exchange

• Reciprocity governs social interaction• Social Coordination

• Liking signals smooth social interaction

• “Self-fulfilling Prophecy”• If we believe somebody else likes us, we will be a

more likable person in their presence; this will lead them to actually like us more

• Positive feedback loop

Reciprocity of Liking:

Caveats• Suspicions about sincerity

• “Ingratiator’s dilemma”

• Self-esteem and self-verification• People with high self-esteem like and interact

with those who like them• People with low self-esteem prefer to interact

with those who criticize them (Swann, 1990)

• “Gain-Loss” theory (Aronson & Linder, 1965)

• Comparison Level (subjective value)• Competence (“winning over”)• Perception of discernment (“not easily

impressed”)

Physical AttractivenessPhysical Attractiveness

Universal features of attractiveness Large eyes, prominent cheekbones, big smile, “symmetry”Large eyes, prominent cheekbones, big smile, “symmetry” ““Smell of symmetry”Smell of symmetry”

T-shirt studies

Attractiveness in females Small nose & chin, narrow cheeks, high eyebrowsSmall nose & chin, narrow cheeks, high eyebrows Waist-hip ratio (.7)Waist-hip ratio (.7)

Attractiveness in males Depends on phase of menstrual cycleDepends on phase of menstrual cycle

Non-ovulation: “Cute”Non-ovulation: “Cute” Ovulation: “Rugged”Ovulation: “Rugged”

Attraction and average facesAttraction and average faces

• Within a culture, much variation in people’s faces

• Average face is viewed as most attractive

• Extreme characteristics and asymmetries are diminished

• Take a look at these photos

Arousal and Attraction

• Arousal and polarization of affect• Arousal promotes strong and consistent feelings• Slight bias in one direction becomes extreme• Arousal can produce intense disliking as well as intense

liking

• If you approach an attractive or likable person, you’ll approach more enthusiastically if you are aroused

• If you see an unattractive person, you’ll show greater avoidance (even repulsion) if your are aroused

• You’re still energized even if you know your arousal came from a cup of coffee, a threat of electric shock, or crossing a wobbly bridge

10.10

Arousal-induced polarization of feelings toward an attractive and an unattractive

womanWhite, Fishbein, & Rutstein (1981)

How do men and women attract How do men and women attract

one another?one another?

• Language of flirtationLanguage of flirtation• “Getting attention”• “Recognition”

• Raise eyebrows, lock gaze, sing-song voice, laughing

• “Touching”• Pats on the shoulder,

accidental bumps

• “Keeping-time”• Nonverbal

coordination, face-to-face alignment

Nonverbal Cues and Nonverbal Cues and

AttractionAttraction Non-verbal gestures and body language communicate

attraction and interest in forming a relationship

Mutual staring in opposite-sex pair can produce sexual attraction (Kellerman, Lewis, & Laird, 1989)

Mimicry of nonverbal behavior promotes liking

Women in singles bars use several nonverbal gestures that initiate interactions with men (Moore, 1985)

• Head tosses• Hair flips• Eyebrow flashes• Smiles –>

Click on Picture to Repeat SequenceClick on Picture to Repeat Sequence

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SummarySummary• Many Sources of “Social Chemistry”

• Propinquity (“Love the one you’re with”)

• Similarity (“Love others just like you”)

• Reciprocity of liking (“Love others with good taste”)

• Arousal (“Is it hot in here?”)

• Physical characteristics (“Nice ratio!”)

• Sex differences (“I’ve got what you’re looking for”)

• Non-verbal behavior (“Did you say something?”)