Neil Gaiman - WHEN WE WENTTO SEE THE END OF THEWORLD by Dawnie Morningside,age 11 1/4

What I did on the founders dayholiday was, my dad said we weregoing to have a picnic, and, my mumsaid where and I said I wanted to goto Ponydale and ride the ponies, butmy dad said we were going to theend of the world and my mum saidoh god and my dad said now,Tanya, its time the child got to seewhat was what and my mum saidno, no, she just meant that shedthought that Johnsons Peculiar

Garden of Lights was nice this timeof year.

My mum loves Johnsons PeculiarGarden of Lights, which is in Lux,between 12th street and the river,and I like it too, especially whenthey give you potato sticks and youfeed them to the little whitechipmunks who come all the way upto the picnic table.

This is the word for the whitechipmunks. Albino.

Dolorita Hunsickle says that thechipmunks tell your fortune if youcatch them but I never did. She saysa chipmunk told her she would

grow up to be a famous ballerinaand that she would die ofconsumption unloved in aboardinghouse in Prague.

So my dad made potato salad.

Here is the recipe.

My dads potato salad is made withtiny new potatoes, which he boils,then while their warm he pours hissecret mix over them which ismayonnaise and sour cream andlittle onion things called chiveswhich he sotays in bacon fat, andcrunchy bacon bits. When it getscool its the best potato salad in theworld, and better than the potato

salad we get at school which tasteslike white sick.

We stopped at the shop and got fruitand Coca-cola and potato sticks,and they went into the box and itwent into the back of the car and wewent into the car and mum and dadand my baby sister, We Are On OurWay!

Where our house is, it is morning,when we leave, and we got onto themotorway and we went over thebridge over twilight, and soon it gotdark. I love driving through thedark.

I sit in the back of the car and I got

all scrunched singing songs that golah lah lah in the back of my head somy dad has to go, Dawnie darlingstop making that noise, but still I golah lah lah.

Lah lah lah.

The motorway was closed forrepairs so we followed signs andthis is what they said: DIVERSION.

Mummy made dad lock his door,while we were driving, and shemade me to lock my door too.

It got more darker as we went.

This is what I saw while we drivedthrough the center of the city, out of

the window. I saw a beardy manwho ran out when we stopped at thelights and ran a smeary cloth allover our windows.

He winked at me through thewindow, in the back of the car, withhis old eyes.

Then he wasnt there any more, andmummy and daddy had anarguement about who he was, andwhether he was good luck or badluck. But not a bad arguement.

Their were more signs that saidDIVERSION, and they wereyellow.

I saw a street where the prettiestmen I'd ever seen blew us kissesand sung songs, and a street where Isaw a woman holding the side ofher face under a blue light but herface was bleeding and wet, and astreet where there were only catswho stared at us.

My sister went loo loo, whichmeans look and she said kitty.

The baby is called Melicent, but Icall her Daisydaisy. Its my secretname for her. Its from a song calledDaisydaisy, which goes, Daisydaisygive me your answer do I'm halfcrazy over the love of you it wont

be a stylish marriage I cant afford acarriage but you'll look sweet uponthe seat of a bicicle made for two.

Then we were out of the city, intothe hills.

Then there were houses that werelike palaces on each side of theroad, set far back.

My dad was born in one of thosehouses, and he and mummy had thearguement about money where hesays what he threw away to be withher and she says oh, so yourbringing that up again are you?

I looked at the houses. I asked my

Daddy which one Grandmotherlived in. He said he didnt know,which he was lying. I dont knowwhy grownups fib so much, likewhen they say Ill tell you later orwell see when they mean no or Iwont tell you at all even when yourolder.

In one house there were peopledancing in the garden. Then the roadbegan to wind around, and daddywas driving us through thecountryside through the dark.

Look! said my mother. A white deerran across the road with peoplechasing it. My dad said they were a

nuisance and they were a pest andlike rats with antlers, and the worstbit of hitting a deer is when itcomes through the glass into the carand he said he had a friend whowas kicked to death by a deer whocame through the glass with sharphooves.

And mummy said oh god like wereally needed to know that, anddaddy said well it happened Tanya,and mummy said honestly yourincorigible.

I wanted to ask who the peoplechasing the deer was, but I startedto sing instead going lah lah lah lah

lah lah.

My dad said stop that. My mum saidfor gods sake let the girl expressherself, and Dad said I bet you likechewing tinfoil too and my mummysaid so whats that supposed to meanand Daddy said nothing and I saidarent we there yet?

On the side of the road there werebonfires, and sometimes piles ofbones.

We stopped on one side of a hill.The end of the world was on theother side of the hill, said my dad.

I wondered what it looked like. We

parked the car in the car park. Wegot out. Mummy carried Daisy.Daddy carried the picnic basket.We walked over the hill, in the lightof the candles they set by the path.A unicorn came up to me on theway. It was white as snow, and itnuzzled me with its mouth.

I asked daddy if I could give it anapple and he said it probably hasfleas, and Mummy said it didnt. andall the time its tail went swishswish swish.

I offered it my apple it looked at mewith big silver eyes and then itsnorted like this, hrrrmph, and ran

away over the hill.

Baby Daisy said loo loo.

This is what it looks like at the endof the world, which is the bestplace in the world.

There is a hole in the ground, whichlooks like a very wide big hole andpretty people holding sticks andsimatars that burn come up out of it.They have long golden hair. Theylook like princesses, only fierce.Some of them have wings and someof them dusnt.

And theres a big hole in the sky tooand things are coming down from it,

like the cat-heady man, and thesnakes made out of stuff that lookslike glitter-jel like I putted on myhair at Hallowmorn, and I sawsomething that looked like a big oldbuzzie fly, coming down from thesky. There were very many of them.As many as stars.

They dont move. They just hangthere, not doing anything. I askedDaddy why they weren't moving andhe said they were moving just veryvery slowly but I dont think so.

We set up at a picnic table.

Daddy said the best thing about theend of the world was no wasps and

no moskitos. And mummy said therewerent alot of wasps in JohnsonsPeculiar Garden of Lights either. Isaid there werent alot of wasps ormoskitos at Ponydale and therewere ponies too we could ride onand my Dad said hed brought ushere to enjoy ourselves.

I said I wanted to go over to see if Icould see the unicorn again andmummy and daddy said dont go toofar.

At the next table to us were peoplewith masks on. I went off withDaisydaisy to see them.

They sang Happy Birthday to you to

a big fat lady with no clothes on,and a big funny hat. She had lots ofbosoms all the way down to hertummy. I waited to see her blow outthe candles on her cake, but therewasnt a cake.

Arent you going to make a wish? Isaid.

She said she couldnt make any morewishes. She was too old. I told herthat at my last birthday when I blewout my candles all in one go I hadthought about my wish for a longtime, and I was going to wish thatmummy and Daddy wouldn't argueany more in the night. But in the end

I wished for a shetland pony but itnever come.

The lady gave me a cuddle and saidI was so cute that she could just eatme all up, bones and hair andeverything. She smelled like sweetdried milk.

Then Daisydaisy started to cry withall her might and mane, and the ladyputted me down.

I shouted and called for the unicorn,but I didnt see him. Sometimes Ithought I could hear a trumpet, andsometimes I thought it was just thenoise in my ears.

Then we came back to the table.Whats after the end of the world Isaid to my dad. Nothing he said.Nothing at all. Thats why its calledthe end.

Then Daisy was sick over Daddysshoes, and we cleaned it up.

I sat by the table. We ate potatosalad, which I gave you the recipefor all ready, you should make it itsreally good, and we drank orangejuice and potato sticks and squishyegg and cress sandwiches. Wedrank our Coca-cola.

Then Mummy said something toDaddy I didnt hear and he just hit

her in the face with a big hit withhis hand, and mummy started to cry.

Daddy told me to take Daisy andwalk about while they talked.

I took Daisy and I said come onDaisydaisy, come on old daisybellbecause she was crying too, but I'mtoo old to cry.

I couldnt hear what they weresaying. I looked up at the cat faceman and I tried to see if he wasmoving very very slowly, and Iheard the trumpet at the end of theworld in my head going dah dahdah.

We sat by a rock and I sang songs toDaisy lah lah lah lah lah to thesound of the trumpet in my head dahdah dah.

Lah lah lah lah lah lah lah lah.

Lah lah lah.

Then mummy and daddy came overto me and they said we were goinghome. But that everything wasreally all right. Mummys eye wasall purple. She looked funny, like alady on the television.

Daisy said owie. I told her yes, itwas an owie. We got back in thecar.

On the way home, nobody saidanything. The baby sleeped.

There was a dead animal by theside of the road somebody had hitwith a car. Daddy said it was awhite deer. I thought it was theunicorn, but mummy told me thatyou cant kill unicorns but I think shewas lying like grownups do again.

When we got to Twilight I said, ifyou told someone your wish, didthat mean it wouldnt come true?

What wish, said Daddy?

Your birthday wish. When youblow out the candles.

He said, Wishes dont come truewhether you tell them or not.Wishes, he said. He said you canttrust wishes.

I asked Mummy, and she said,whatever your father says, she saidin her cold voice, which is the oneshe uses when she tells me off withmy whole name.

Then I sleeped too.

And then we were home, and it wasmorning, and I dont want to see theend of the world again. And beforeI got out of the car, while mummywas carrying in Daisydaisy to thehouse, I closed my eyes so I

couldn't see anything at all, and Iwished and I wished and I wishedand I wished. I wished we'd gone toPonydale. I wished we'd never goneanywhere at all. I wished I wassomebody else.

And I wished.