Jenny A. ArmentroutJenny A. Armentrout

Class Plan: Class Plan: Interpersonal RelationshipsInterpersonal RelationshipsWood, J. (2004). Interpersonal communication: Everyday

encounters, 4th Ed. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Publishing.

Six Love StylesSix Love StylesEros (erotic)—passionate, romantic love

Mania (manic)—obsessive, jealous, and addictive

Ludus (ludic)—love as a game

Agape (agapic)—kind, unselfish love

Storge (storgic)—love as friendship or companionship

Pragma—very pragmatic/practical approach to love

Eros (erotic)—passionate, romantic Eros (erotic)—passionate, romantic lovelove

Erotic lovers fall in love early in a relationshipErotic lovers fall in love early in a relationship Love is very intense and passionateLove is very intense and passionate The erotic lover wants to share everything with The erotic lover wants to share everything with

and know everything about the loved oneand know everything about the loved one The erotic lover thinks of his/her partner in an The erotic lover thinks of his/her partner in an

idealized manneridealized manner The erotic lover’s reaction to criticism from The erotic lover’s reaction to criticism from

his/her partner is one of hurt and intense painhis/her partner is one of hurt and intense pain The erotic lovers reaction to separation from the The erotic lovers reaction to separation from the

partner is agony and despairpartner is agony and despair

Ludus (ludic)—love as a gameLudus (ludic)—love as a game Ludics have a very self-oriented approach to loveLudics have a very self-oriented approach to love Ludics minimize dependency and commitmentLudics minimize dependency and commitment They rarely or never become overly involved with one They rarely or never become overly involved with one

partner and often have more than on partner at a timepartner and often have more than on partner at a time They don’t reveal their true thoughts and feelings to their They don’t reveal their true thoughts and feelings to their

partner, especially if they think they can gain some kind partner, especially if they think they can gain some kind of advantage over their partnerof advantage over their partner

Usually want sex (plenty of it) for pleasureUsually want sex (plenty of it) for pleasure Reaction to criticism from the partner is indifferenceReaction to criticism from the partner is indifference Reaction to separation form the partner is immediate Reaction to separation form the partner is immediate

replacementreplacement

Storge (storgic)—love as friendship Storge (storgic)—love as friendship or companionshipor companionship

Storge love develops slowlyStorge love develops slowly It grows out of mutual understanding, rapport, It grows out of mutual understanding, rapport,

respect, companionship, sharing, and concernrespect, companionship, sharing, and concern It is not characterized by high levels of ecstasy It is not characterized by high levels of ecstasy

and excitement (as is eros), but is a solid, and excitement (as is eros), but is a solid, stable, enduring lovestable, enduring love

Reaction to criticism from partner—give and Reaction to criticism from partner—give and take, compromise, constructive problem solvingtake, compromise, constructive problem solving

Reaction to separation—feelings of emptiness Reaction to separation—feelings of emptiness and lossand loss

Mania (manic)—is obsessive, Mania (manic)—is obsessive, jealous, and addictivejealous, and addictive

Manic lovers are obsessive, jealous, irrational, Manic lovers are obsessive, jealous, irrational, possessive, and consumed by thoughts of their loverspossessive, and consumed by thoughts of their lovers

They need constant attention, affection, and They need constant attention, affection, and togethernesstogetherness

Love is very intenseLove is very intense They frequently put love to the test for the sake of They frequently put love to the test for the sake of

reassurancereassurance Their reaction to criticism from partner—defensiveness, Their reaction to criticism from partner—defensiveness,

hypersensitivity, and sometimes violencehypersensitivity, and sometimes violence Their reaction to separation—instant panicTheir reaction to separation—instant panic

Agape (agapic)—kind, unselfish Agape (agapic)—kind, unselfish lovelove

Agape love is altruisticAgape love is altruistic The agapic lover gets more pleasure from giving The agapic lover gets more pleasure from giving

in a relationship than from receivingin a relationship than from receiving The apapic lover is very forgiving, patient, The apapic lover is very forgiving, patient,

understanding, loyal, and willing to make understanding, loyal, and willing to make sacrifices for his/her partnersacrifices for his/her partner

Their reaction to criticism form the partner—Their reaction to criticism form the partner—willingness to change or compromisewillingness to change or compromise

Their reaction to separation from the partner—Their reaction to separation from the partner—sense of loss and emptinesssense of loss and emptiness

Pragma—is a very pragmatic or Pragma—is a very pragmatic or practical approach to lovepractical approach to love

It is very logical and realisticIt is very logical and realistic Pragmatic lovers are self-orientedPragmatic lovers are self-oriented Their reaction to criticism from the partnerTheir reaction to criticism from the partner

—defensive, analytical—defensive, analytical